


these silent hearts

by xdarlingnickyx (Sonny)



Series: Ackles Pack [ Silent Hearts 'Verse ] [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Knotting, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Verse, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-13
Updated: 2011-12-07
Packaged: 2017-10-23 17:22:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 230,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/252864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonny/pseuds/xdarlingnickyx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen is lead Alpha of his own pack, and he is still unmated in Beta and Omega, though he prefers to be solely mated to only a male Omega. Jared is an unmated Omega spiritual guide, who helps pack members get through their pack life hurdles onto a safer journey. This is what happens when they unexpectedly get thrust into one another's life...forever to be irrevocably changed...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> REQUEST: Jensen/Jared - self-lubrication, alpha/omega : The usual Alpha/Beta/Omega world set up.
> 
> In this world, the older, traditional family structure is a pack—usually between three and ten members, led by the head alpha and his beta mate, with maybe a couple other alpha and beta pairs, and then usually one or two omegas. Omegas are the only child bearing members of society. However, in the last couple of centuries, the "nuclear family' structure has caught on, and in modern times, the pack family is seen as outdated or archaic.
> 
> Jared doesn't care. He's known what he's wanted since he was a kid—to be the mated beta to the head alpha of a pack. The house mom, basically. He'd run the home, and look after everyone else in the pack. He's sure he'll turn out to be a beta, and even though he's been raised in the nuclear family style(born from artificial insemination to an omega surrogate), he wants to be part of a pack. When he hits puberty and wakes up in the throws of heat, with a soaking hole, and realizes he's an omega, he's heartbroken.
> 
> Fast forward to adulthood.
> 
> Jensen is the head alpha of a pack. He was born into a pack and loved living with so many different parents and caretakers, and so as an adult has formed his own. He has two mated alpha/beta pairs under him and an omega already under his care, but he doesn't have his own mate. Cue meeting Jared.
> 
> Omegas aren't mistreated, as a side note. They're cared for and loved, but don't really have jobs within the pack. They bear children and are looked after by the pack. The children tend to be raised by the group as a whole.
> 
> Up to author if Jared ends up accepting/enjoying being a pack omega or if the pack accommodates him and allows him to be head beta, as Jensen's mate, even though he's omega. Basically I want a big, loving, fluffy family—no abuse or degradation. Knot or do Knot, up to you.

  
**JARED [ age 10 -** _Past_ **] -**   
  
  
From a very early age, Jared had always known where he'd come from. He had known he had a father and a mother, but he also had a second mother—-someone he loved very dearly. Because he had been so young, and his parents never wanted him to know the origins of his true birth, he hadn't known how he actually came to exist—-how the dynamics of his father Alpha, his mother Beta and his mother Omega had actually worked. He had been raised in the New-Freedomers ideal of a 'pack'—-one sole lead Alpha with his mated Beta and a single carrier Omega. A birther, who had been artificially inseminated with the fertile egg of the Alpha and Beta—-or as Jared liked to call her...“Mom”. He had plenty of siblings to enjoy and become enthusiastic about: two older, a brother and a sister, then a set of male twins after him and finally his baby sister. He had made certain he had been at every single birth after him, even when they hadn't been in his immediate family—-but still part of his overall family's pack. Jared had become a permanent audience member to the gift of life amongst the New-Freedomers pack-life.   
  
Jared had never known any other life but his own. He had thought all families were like his, until the one day a new 'pack' entered the vacant cul-de sac in the near-empty portion of his neighborhood.

He had remembered quite clearly, sitting on the front porch, watching the movers unload three trucks in front of three houses set together in the dead-end semi-circle. Several cars had arrived, unloading numerous adults, children and some babies. He had never heard such laughter or bellowing...nor had he ever seen so much hugging and kissing between each adult, teenager and child. The children [ _of various ages_ ] obeyed the adults and played as teams, no one really fighting or arguing.

This had been when Jared felt the first pangs of envy. His brown eyes had blown wide in thrilled shock and the constant flow of his normal eagerness to be friendly—-to meet new people. He must've stayed out there for hours, simply watching and observing taking note of each and every thing done that seemed outrageously awesome or cool. Jared had made sure they couldn't spot him too easily, if they would feel creeped out by his staring; he had made sure to go inside the house for the meals of the day, but he had eaten them sitting at a window, sipping on his soda.

He couldn't wait for dinner each night, when around the supper table he could introduce a topic of conversation that might engage the entire family. Jared had kept waiting for the perfect moment, but none came. And then the worst thing that could've happened... _happened_.

He had patiently waited for a moment of silence where he wouldn't have to clamor words over his siblings or barter the attention of one of his parents. It had been when he was about to take a bite of his scrumptious dessert that he began to hear the low growling and eventual grumbling from his father.

“ _Darn Traditionalists!_ ”

At first, Jared hadn't been sure what was meant until he kept himself as silent and still as possible. He had begun to let his own ears narrow out the sounds of their house, then outside the house until it eventually picked up the noises from the neighbors—-muffled sounds of music, people boisterous and laughing outright.

“Gerald, _please_ , not in front of the kids.” Sherri had spoken through the painful clenching of her bright smiling teeth.

Gerald had managed to spare glances around his childrens' faces, but the only ones intrigued by what he had stated were few. “Look, I understand that it's unfair to look down on _them_. To stop this needless segregation of packs, but...there's a reason we're choosing to live this way in order to cut down on the overpopulation. I know it's an old way of pack-life, but it's not the _only_ way. Or even what's turned out to be the best for us.” And that...had been all Gerald ever would say about the neighbors in familiar company.

Jared had glanced between his parents, then down at his mother Omega, who always sat to the left of his mother Beta at the table, taking a secondary role in the family tier. She had been no more higher than the children she had born for her 'pack'. Jared had opened his mouth to ask a question, but his mother Omega swiped at her mouth with the cloth napkin, scooting her chair back as she stood.

“I fear my head's still pounding, Sherri.” She kept her chin bowed to chest. “May I be excused to take a quick nap?”

“oh, _yes-yes_...of course, _dear_.” Sherri had been an unusual Beta, for a New-Freedomers 'pack', in that she adored her carrier Omega, respected her, holding her in high esteem. She had thought it made for a closer, more intimate relationship between Beta and Omega with the children, and for the 'pack'. “The children can _finally_ learn a few chores around the house.”

 ** _“_** ** _awww, Mooom!”_** Only one of the twin boys had spoken for both.

 ** _“_** ** _—c'mon, Mom, I have homework.”_** Jared's older sister had made her signature pouty face.

 ** _“_** ** _Dad? Tell her we're too busy to do the work.”_** Jeff, Jared's older brother, had always referred to his father whenever his mother Beta attempted to punish him.

Jared's baby sister, Megan, simply stuffed a fist-full of her vegetables into her mouth, banging her fist on the table cloth like she was proclaiming the same intentions her older siblings were, while satiating her hunger.

Jared had to bite his tongue. He could hear it in their voices. None of them had considered that Omegas were as worthy in a 'pack' as the Alphas or the Betas were. They hadn't even thought they could be in the same position. Nearly every single one of his siblings had wished for the role of Alpha: two of brothers and his older sister, but the rest hadn't been too bothered by the life of a Beta. Jared hadn't known where he fell, but he had known he loved and respected his mother Omega just as much as his mother Beta.

“I'll do it.” Jared had left his dessert half-eaten, which was unheard of with a sweet tooth like his.

His father had grumbled more while his mother had smiled in wild wonder. “Thank you, honey.” She had watched as her ten-year-old son walked around the table, collecting dirty dishes. He had done it out of love for his mother Omega, not because it had been a chore forced upon him. Sherri had started feeling tears surface behind her eyes. Dabbing at the corners, she had dictated smaller tasks and punishments to each of her children, not even willing to hear the collective moans and groans thrown at her to get her to bend.

As Jared had worked at diligently cleaning the kitchen, then stacking dirty dishes to run under the faucet to place in the dishwasher, he had been able to listen in on the new neighbors better. His mother had ended up delegating the rest of her brood until it was close to bedtime, corralling them to coordinate who would have baths tonight and who would have showers in the morning before school. She had brought her evening cup of coffee into the sitting room, picking up the unfinished knitting she had been working on. Soon after, Gerald had perched himself in a recliner opposite Sherri; he had his own coffee mug at his side, the daily newspaper in his hands while the evening news blared on the television, catching up with events of the day.

When Jared had finished in the kitchen, he had taken out the trash bags and put new ones in the canisters. He had gone to check on his younger siblings; the older ones could take care of themselves. He put the twins to bed, then settled Megan in her own bed, a smaller version of a Twin with side-rails. She had asked for a bedtime story and, while she did have several books he could've picked up, Jared decided to make one up from his own imagination.

By the time Megan was asleep, Jared hadn't reached the ending, but he had seen the wide excited eyes of his twin brothers, on the different levels of their bunk beds.

 **_“_ ** **_—-c'mon, Jared...”_ **  
**_“_ ** **_—finish.”_ **  
**_“_ ** **_yeah...how does it...”_ **  
**_“_ ** **_—end.”_ **

Jared hadn't thought they deserved to know, just because of how selfish and isolating the twins could be, even within the 'pack'. He still loved them as they were his family—-his _blood_. They were a part of him that he would need in order to know exactly who he was, where he belonged. Without them...well, Jared hadn't wanted to fathom _that_ thought.

Once he'd seen his brothers to bed, tucking them in to ruthlessly tickle them and shower their faces with gooey kisses, he had wandered into the sitting room to find his father passed out asleep, reading glasses perched precariously on his nose and the newspaper spread out to cover his sagging body like a blanket. His mother had begun to watch television, now engrossed in the last stages of a cross-stitch project. Jared had gathered the paper, trying to close it and put the pages in some order, then he'd picked up the empty coffee mug. He had walked to the side of his mother's chair, placing his hand on her arm to get her to focus on him.

She turned her regal features in his direction. “Yes, _love_?”

Jared had cringed a little to hear his mother Omega's endearment for him come out of his own mother's mouth. He let it slide, such a petty argument in reality. “Do you need anything? More coffee? A glass of warm milk? Another slice of pie?”

“mmm...I envy _her_ pie-making skills.” Sherri had made dreamy eyes when thinking about the Omega's cooking skills. Not to mention how many other things around the house the Omega had excelled at more than her. “I envy her a lot. I know I shouldn't, but—” She had intentionally stopped speaking, pausing as she had shaken her head. “—- _what am I doing_? You always sound like you're more mature than your years.” Some days, she could swear Jared had a little too much of the Omega “in” him, though she knew for a fact he wasn't biologically capable of carrying any of the Omega's DNA. “Out of all the kids, you already know what you want to be...don't you?”

“I don't know; I think I do. I don't really have _any_ preference. I like each one, for different reasons. No one is better or lesser to me; we all have our rules and each one is needed.” Jared had only been able to talk this open and honestly with his mother Omega; this moment had felt weird right at the point she had tried to soften him with calling him “love”. He had licked his dry lips wet, moving on to end his mini-speech, “It shows us where we belong—-grounds us.”

Sherri had narrowed her eyes in curious wonder. “ _Who_ taught you this?”

“ _Nobody_. I think on my own, a lot.” Jared had looked behind him toward his father. “Wha's a 'traditionalist'? Is _that_ what our new neighbors are?”

“Honey—” Sherri had sighed deeply, wanting to get back to her cross-stitching and just watching her TV show. “We'll talk about this tomorrow. I'm afraid I may have a contact headache.” She had let her fingers tap her forehead for effect. “Let me concentrate on _one_ thing tonight.”

“Sorry. I don't mean to be nosy.” _...or be a bother._ Jared should've known he'd been lured into a false sense of comfort.

“It's late. Put the paper in the recycle bin, the mug in the sink and go to bed, if it's not your turn for a bath tonight.”

“Is it okay if I bring Mom her tea and some Saltines?”

“Jared...you don't have to keep taking care of _every_ body.”

“I don't mind. I like doing this.” Jared had made certain that she didn't need fresh coffee before he went to boil water, pulling down a small plate to carry a few Saltines on. He had known how his mother Omega took her herbal tea. Once the water had whistled, he'd poured the hot liquid over the bag to seep the leaves and spices. Jared had waited until the water was a murky toffee-color, then he had carried cup and saucer in one hand, the plate of crackers in the other.

Jared had been too concentrated on not spilling the tea over his bare skin, and not dropping the expensive ceramics, to hear his mother Beta say a muffled “goodnight” to him as he passed in the hallway.

His mother Omega's bedroom had been on the first floor—-what used to be the old master suite until Gerald had added a second floor to the old ranch-style Padalecki house. Jared had given out his tell-tale secret knock, then had opened the unlocked door to enter the darkened. The only light that came in had been from the open windows as it ended up illuminating a strip of moonlight over the pastel-colored Chenille bedspread.

“—Mom...”

“—- _jared_?” The body under the thin coverlet had shifted, his mother Omega had tried to raise onto an elbow to glance over her shoulder. “oh, _love_ , you didn't—” She had known better. She had known Jared thrived on taking care of others; he had been the only one of the children who returned a special kindness to her for all she'd done. She had understood his weird penchants to be the truest signs of being a stronger Omega. Jared's mother Omega wasn't sure he wanted to know this fact, not since he had accidentally deduced that, ultimately, he'd enjoy the role of a Beta the best. He had told her he would hate to be the main boss, but desired enough power to wield control and demand attention. She had thought he didn't want to cheapen her Omega status, but he couldn't see himself in _this_ role, either, because of the whole process of heat cycles and eventual mating to breed children for an Alpha. Jared and his mother Omega both had agreed that Sherri had better “alpha” tendencies than Gerald, which was what had truly pushed Jared into his final decision.

Jared had set down the tea and crackers on the empty space on the bed beside his mother Omega. He had gradually climbed onto the mattress, sitting against the warm body. He'd gazed toward the loving face he had such affection for. “You able to sleep?” Jared had been able to notice she had left her windows open, letting in a cool breeze, but also to hear the noises from nearby.

His mother Omega had taken a tentative sip of the hot tea. “Nah, they, uhm...” She rested backward on the pillows. “—-they make me homesick.”

Jared had swiped a cracker and nibbled—-more of a nervous tick than for actual hunger. He had handed out one to his mother Omega. “ _Homesick_?” He had furrowed his brow, draping over the legs under the covers. “Did you come from a big family like _they_ have?”

“Yes, yes, I did, _love_.” She had reached down to sift through Jared's mop of brown waves. “I foolishly thought less of my life there, when I was younger. I thought—-well, I don't know _what_ I thought. I simply wanted a way out, and I wanted my new life with my own 'pack' to be different.”

Jared had lifted his head. “ _Different_? How _different_?”

“Well, for one, there's more than one Omega.”

“Really?” Jared had seemed utterly stunned by this fact.

“Sometimes. It depends on the Alpha and the mated couples beneath him.”

“There's more than _one_ mated Alpha and Beta, too?”

“Yes. Not blood-family, unless that's your preference, but...it would be as if your father and mother had two more parents under them. There are _two_ —- _three_ —-sometimes _four_ Omegas. The family—-the 'pack'—-decides as one.” She had paused as if she suddenly had realized she may have said too much. “Well, that's how my pack did things.”

“An' this is...like father said, what a 'traditionalist' is?”

“yeah. It has everything to do with the older, more traditional ways of the pack hierarchy.”

Jared had noticed his mother Omega avert her eyes as she had taken another sip of tea, munching on a cracker. “You miss _it_? _Them_?” He had been able to see it in her eyes, so like his own—-the aches, the sorrows...so deeply embedded that would be rare for it to ever surface again.

“I miss the companionship. I never starved for attention. There was always love and affection abound; I couldn't remember a time when I wasn't being held by somebody. I had several fathers and mothers who parented me...an' lots of brothers and sisters. But who I envied the most were the Omegas.”

“ _Really_?” Jared had grown excited because he had been feeling the same exact way. He had envied Omegas, but he had known he wouldn't be able to manage being one.

“Yes. I saw the purpose of Alphas, of Betas, but to me the Omegas...well, it can be a male or female and they—-tradition dictates they are the most loved and treated with special care and concern. Omegas hold as much importance as Alphas or Betas, sometimes more because they are the givers of life. They keep the 'pack' strong and flourishing.”

Jared had sense enough to flush under his skin. “hmm...you make it sound nice—- _kind of awesome_.” He had wanted to tell somebody about everything he had seen with the next-door neighbors.

His mother Omega had tilted her head. “Have you been watching them, _love_?”

“uh, yeah.” Jared had cleared his throat nervously, bowing chin to chest. He had known she wouldn't tattle on him, but still he had felt guilty for disobeying his father. “I've been watching them move in this week.”

“Your father won't like you being over there or even showing an interest.”

“Why?” By the time Jared had lifted his head, his tiny fist had formed and he pounded his mother Omega's hip softly. “Why does he feel that way toward them? He doesn't even know—-he hasn't met any of them yet.”

She had made a cooing sound and had given him a sensitive look of sympathy, soothing her hand over his little fist on her body. “It's nothing more than traditional practices looking archaic and freakish in today's 'pack' society. It doesn't look like the normal human family from the outside or the inside.”

“We aren't so different than them. There's less people, but I know some of my human classmates don't have two mothers.”

His mother Omega reached out for both of his hands, sandwiching them between her palms. “You're sweet to have come to check on me. You should head off to your bed now.”

“Can I stay here tonight?”

“With me? Jared, I don't—”

“ _Please_.” Jared had known he wouldn't need to beg, just one look from his sappy doe eyes and she was sinking fast. “I'll sleep better and I won't worry 'bout you so much.”

She had risen to put the plate of crackers, then the cup and saucer on her bedside table. “Why're you so worried about **_me_** , _love_.” She had begun to pull back the covers to give Jared room as he undressed to a t-shirt and his boxers; he had left his socks on because his feet would always turn into icebergs.

Jared had gleefully pounced on the bed, quickly crawling under the pile of blankets to seek out warmth. He had known he'd find it closer to his mother Omega's radiating body heat. He had slept nestled into her chest until he had been three, when he graduated to a big boy bed of his own. There had been times when Jared had wanted to feel that unfettered affection and deep connection again, when he had need of grounding himself in the safe embrace of unconditional love.

His mother Omega, despite her weariness and the dull ache in her head, had wrapped Jared in her arms so tightly she had made him squeak at the intense pressure. They both had chuckled, laying to face one another as they shared a pillow, dividing warmth. After awhile, still in the moonlit darkness, Jared had soothed his fingers over the soft brow, then glided the tips over delicate, dark lashes like his own.

“ _ssshh...i's my turn to take care of you, mommy_.”

His mother Omega had gulped down her want to sob outright and burrow. She had mewled, nudging playfully at the tiny hand with such tender strength.

“I'll always take care of you...an' the babies...” The last touch he had given was to lay his palm directly over the flat of her abdomen, which was slightly rounded with a faint hint of a seventh pregnancy.

The words had been said so softly between them that Jared's mother Omega hadn't been able to let the comment register in her head until her precious love had fallen deeply asleep in her arms.

How had he known she was pregnant again?  
  
 **== &&==&&==**

**TBC...  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**JENSEN [ 28 ;** _Present_ **] -**

 

 

No matter how many times Jensen sits in the antique Captain's chair at the head of his grandmother's old dark cherry wood dining table—-his own pack's table now—-he can't quite get over that he's lead Alpha and responsible for the lives of six other people under him. It would've been eight if Jensen would get his shit together and, for once, consider that he didn't have to place his pack's happiness ahead of his own.

He hasn't reached the _I-am-a-disappointment-to-my-parents_ phase yet, but he knows that if he hasn't mated with a Beta or an Omega by the time he's in his 30s, then his father can officially call him unworthy of the Ackles' pack moniker. He's got a few more years to think on this issue.

There's nothing wrong with him, at least he assumes there isn't. He's quite good looking and he's not an aggressively pushy Alpha who deems himself ruler over all that is his alone. He isn't even too bad as a sex partner; there's been no complaints thrown his way on appearance and technique. Jensen isn't truly pining for a mate, anyway, though he does have plenty of urges that remind him of his failures.

His pack always tells him to give this “romantic mating bullshit” some time, that the moments will happen when they happen. Forcing them to occur will only bring out sadness and despair, plus the pack doesn't want their lead Alpha to simply... _settle_. They want Jensen to find the kind of peaceful harmony each mated couple, and their Omega, have been able to find.

Jensen leans back in the chair, staring down at the monogrammed pen gifted to him by his parents when he was thrust out of their house—-his childhood home—-and told to find his way, build his own pack from scratch. He keeps twisting the object between his fingers because he likes to slow-scroll the shape to eventually read what the etchings say—- **Jensen Ross Ackles ; Alpha One / Ackles Pack ; 335 Chestnut Hill ; Richardson, TX 75080.**

It's his home's address—- ** _his_** home address. The home he had scoured around for and had bought with his own hard-earned money. The one he pays the mortgage for and spends ridiculous amounts of cash to renovate and rebuild as his family grows. He's intimidated by the term “Alpha One” because he always had assumed his older brother, Josh, would get the chance to leave the nest and Jensen would slide in the “Alpha Two” slot right next to his father. But it seemed that even after Josh left, Alan still believed he had a few more good years left inside of him.

Jensen isn't going to lie; he'd been partly relieved, but mostly scared shitless. He had known how to run his father's pack; he'd been groomed to do this at the first signs of his knot. Jensen had actually liked and had respected how he had been raised, under the guise of the 'traditionalist' hierarchy, which had better prepared him to know what he did, and didn't, want if he ever became lead Alpha. He had honored each role: father Alpha, mother Beta and mother Omega—-whether male or female. He may not have agreed with how his father's wild ways compromised some of his Omegas, but there had never been a public dispute in front of the pack. That hadn't meant that behind closed bedroom doors there would be things that went on Jensen wasn't privy to. He hadn't been ignorant or stupid, nor blind and deaf; he had known exactly the kind of Alpha his father could be. There had been quiet squabbles, but then lead Alpha would claim what was to be, then the rest of the pack had to follow or be sent packing.

Jensen knew early on that his father's family—-their pack's beliefs—-had been a rarity and were almost becoming obsolete. Other traditionalist packs had tended to frown upon the way Alan Ackles ran his pack, but it had worked for them and no one outwardly had complained. Jensen's father had taken it upon himself to find unmated Alphas in order to be actively involved in finding them mates—-both for Beta and Omegas. His father would often be very meticulous about which Omega mated with which Alpha, thus creating a certain control of the breeding process. This had given Jensen a rather large family to grow up in, which he loved—-so many parents and caregivers, not to mention there had been so many children before and after him to never make him feel lonely or bored. Though he only had two blood-related siblings, he still had considered each and every child born of his father's pack to be his sibling.

When Jensen had been in his late teens, close to a perfect time for him to be mated, his father had decided to widen his second son's world by bringing him along on trips to outside packs on visits in the surrounding areas; this had been part of Alan's role as lead Alpha, as part of the Pack Council in the county they lived in. Jensen had liked and hated those particular days because he had been able to see the best and the worst of how other lead Alphas ran their packs. Jensen's father had thought it a necessary life lesson in his son's learning how he could run his own pack one day. Of course, Jensen hadn't known this, thinking he had simply been designated as the Alpha son who would take Alan's place.

Pack business hadn't been the only thing Jensen would learn or inherit—-there had also been the ins-and-outs of his father's family-run homemade furniture company. His mother Beta would've loved to have seen her son enter a whole different career choice, preferably one with more notoriety in a popular sense—-like a doctor or a lawyer. It had been Jensen's mother Omega who had encouraged him to grow closer to his father Alpha, to learn the skills and trade of carpentry—-unlike Josh, who had only stuck with knowing the business side of the furniture company. She had been able to see this step as bringing father and son as one, but to also have made the transition smoother if, say, the day came when Alan felt like retiring.

Jensen had a few agonizing years of adjustment, hating the sight of wood and a table saw, then wishing he hadn't held his mother Omega's promise in such a high regard. He had only wanted to do his father Alpha proud, so he had done everything he could to be the kind of son he would know any father would admire and respect. It had been the sheer fact that Jensen had to work twice as hard as Josh to get the same results; this had created a lot of tension between Jensen and his mother Omega, but in the end...it had served him well to remain patient and diligent, sticking it out even through all the rough times. As choppy waters had smoothed with one of his mothers, the other—-his mother Beta—-still had remained as strong and relentless in her conviction for him to make a _real_ career decision and then finding his life-mates.

Jensen had never had a true opinion on which role was better inside of a pack. He had hated being asked because he had known he had lived an extremely privileged life, knowing he would _always_ be an Alpha. He had learned he did have a bit of his father's tendencies in him—-just like Alan, he had a stronger connection to Omegas for some inexplicable reason. The difference being that Jensen had made a conscious choice to never breed with an Omega until he was prepared to be mated, didn't mean he couldn't use them for the purposes most were prepared to give over to any Alpha during their heats. But if he mated with an Omega then Jensen would have to find a companionable Beta to mate with, as well. He hadn't been about to have one without the other; he had refused to look incapable of doing the same pack rituals as his other mated couples. Even when he had felt such a stronger attraction, and sometimes affection, for Omegas—-particularly the male ones.

In an ideal world, Jensen would've wanted to find a Beta first. So he had tried that...and had ended up discovering the perfect mate for his best friend, and fellow Alpha, Christian. With that much luck running on his side, Jensen had tried again, but his second and third attempts had been utter busts. As were the four consecutive times after that he'd thought he found the perfect mates. He had some idea he had done something wrong because he hadn't even been able to truly miss not having a warm Omega body in his bed during these long arduous processes. Jensen had always refused to be like his father and not have a harem of Omegas with no Beta in sight. But, if he had secondary Alphas—-his brother Alphas—-in his pack, he at least had wanted them to have one single Omega at their disposal...but the mated Beta had to approve, as well.

At 23, Jensen had moved out of his father's house and had gone out looking at real estate to eventually purchase the home of his own. He had started sniffing around his fellow Alphas, approaching them about helping him build their own pack together. Most of them had been impressed with Jensen's fortitude and his willingness to be a better lead Alpha; they had known Jensen's pack would never have to fear him, but love, support, respect and admire the young Alpha.

Once he had signed the contracts, Jensen had moved his secondary Alphas in. Christian had moved in with his mated Beta, Steve, and Christian had learned of a fellow Alpha in San Antonio who was looking to break out of town and find his own pack to live amongst. The Alpha already would be arriving with his own mated Omega, Milo, which had caused Jensen to like the older Alpha immediately.

Only a year in the house, Jensen had been able to square Christian another favor by finding him an Omega he couldn't resist. Christian had been pretty hardcore about not seeing much use to an Omega for himself, but once Jensen had informed Christian the cub was a fan of his music...well, then Jensen hadn't needed to butter him up anymore. Male, of course, with such a crush on Christian it had been a bit endearing, if not borderline stalkerish. Christian had feared another “fan incident” at times, but Chad had known his music—-for a cub his age. Chad also had ties to the music industry Christian had been in dire need of, able to get a hold of a recording studio at the snap of his fingers. Christian had thought he had died and gone to heaven, and Steve, though wary at first, couldn't help but fall instantly in love with Chad as well. Jensen has never gotten a “thank you” or even a pat on the back, but when he felt this sense of peace, love and harmony in his own house, with his own family—- _his_ pack...he often wonders if this is what Heaven will make him feel like.

As another few months passed, Adrian had ended up completing his own familial circle when he had found himself quite a match in a female Beta. Jensen had figured since Adrian had such a strong connection and a singular love for his Omega that he would suffice without, but there had been something about this young woman Adrian couldn't _not_ become attracted to. She had scoffed at first, blowing Adrian off, but then Milo and the rest of the pack—-as a whole unit—-had begun to woo her into Adrian's good graces. They had made her feel coveted and special in that she would be the only female in their pack, and if she would play her cards right, they would dote on her like she wouldn't believe. Sophia had missed that kind of attention, so she decided to take a second, then a third look at Adrian and she hasn't left the house since.

Jensen eyes his whole pack from his perch in the chair, simply because he can see them from the dining room, through the wide archway into the large Chef's kitchen. Steve and Sophia are good cooks, and they often share in the making of all the food consumed by the pack. Adrian isn't home yet, still at work pulling another one of his 12hr days, and Christian is somewhere, outside on the back porch, strumming on his acoustic guitar as he tries to figure out the right ways on the guitar strings to change the chorus of one of his new songs so it doesn't sound so jarring. Chad's the only one filtering between both rooms, setting down the bite-sized appetizers on the table as they prepare for their evening twice-weekly pack meeting.

It's not a normal traditionalist ritual, but it's something Jensen carried down from his father's ways. It allows the family to stay focused, to inform each other of what's happening and what's going on with each of them since sometimes they don't get to see one another some days; everyone comes in and out of the house at weird hours. This is a way for them to stay connected and close; it also gives Jensen a way to feel like he's including his pack in his family business—-both for the pack and for the family-run companies. Not only does Jensen work at the furniture store, but he helps Steve run and manage the musician's store he created from scratch.

Jensen loves these off shoot minutes before the meeting gets underway because while he looks like he's brooding and thoughtful in his seat, he's actually doting on and loving the sight of his pack getting along so well. He can't believe how lucky he is...at 28, to have the perfect family he almost put together with his own hands. He's not going to take all the credit, because it's really the mated couples under him who do the hardest work of all and maintain their relationships without any qualms or gripes.

Chad's making his way back and Jensen lifts his chin up to look at the young Omega. “Chad...why don't you go see what's taking Milo so long.” He glances at his wrist watch and then looks into the kitchen. “We should get this meeting underway so we don't overlap on dinner.”

“—-okay, _Alpha_...” Chad still can't get used to calling Jensen by his real name. It's a force of habit. “uh, sorry...Jensen.” It's been almost five years, Chad knows he should be over this submissive mentality.

Jensen smirks as he raises an eyebrow. “It's okay. Jus' go find Milo.”

Chad looks behind him, wiping a hand along his jeans to rid the skin of sweat. “uh, I still haven't brought everything in. Do you mind?” He made a grimace as if Jensen would bark at him for thinking that an Alpha would lower himself to such standards beneath his place.

Jensen pushes back his chair, thankful to move his muscles a bit and not go completely stiff. “I would _love_ to.” He gave a small pat to Chad's shoulder joint as they crossed paths. He enters the kitchen archway, sticking out his arms then clapping his palms together. “Tell me what still needs to be brought out...”

While Steve went on to continue cooking the food for their dinner, Sophia starts to hand Jensen the last few plates of food, then she'll get him to carry out the glasses for drinks.

Jensen is moving one plate out of the way from the one in his hand when he hears his name being bellowed. He frowns, his head turning from side to side. “ _Hey?!_ ” He walks toward the kitchen again. “Do any of you hear _that_?”

 **_“_ ** **_What?”_ **   
**_“_ ** **_Huh?”_ **

They all go silent, letting the sounds of the house and the open backdoor seep through the air... and then...they hear the second yell for Jensen...

 **_“_ ** **_ALPHA!”_ **

It's said so loudly that even Christian comes in from the outside as everyone goes racing through the dining room to end up at the foot of the main staircase from the second floor.

Jensen is at the head of Steve, Sophia and Christian; his arms are splayed to hold them back from rushing poor Chad who has collapsed on the lower landing with Milo in his arms. Chad's face is red and blotchy, the areas around his eyes are caked in moisture as he's been crying for the last few minutes after he found his fellow young Omega collapsed on the bathroom floor, laying in a small pool of blood.

Eyes wide with shock and heart frantically pumping, Jensen commands, “ ** _Call 911! Tell them we need an ambulance ASAP!_** ” Darkening green eyes closely watch Chad, while also paying attention to how pale and sickly Milo looks against Chad's tanned skin. “Don't move, Chad. Stay there, holding him.” Jensen snaps his fingers and gets Steve's attention. “Get us some water and towels.” Finally, he moves near to Chad, sitting on one of the two steps at the bottom. “Chad...tell me—-tell me what happened.” As he lowers himself down slowly, Jensen is trying to look over Milo's scrunched body as Chad cradles him close to his chest.

Chad's clearly traumatized, gulping and sputtering as he tries to speak.

Sophia makes her way over, taking the other side of Chad on a step and tries to soothe the Omega to calm. She wants to touch Milo for her own assessment, but she only lets her hand rest on Chad's jean-clad leg. “Breathe through your mouth, sweetie.” It's clear she's just as startled into quiet as Jensen is, but she's still a bit numb to understanding what happened. “We can't understand a word you're saying.”

“There was _blood_...” Chad squeezes his eyes shut, rolling Milo to fit nestled into his neck. He feels like he's never going to let go if they try to pry Milo from his cold, dead hands. “... _under_ him. I think—-” He rolls Milo in his arms to look down into the handsome features nearly drained of all blood. “—-he's been complaining about some pains. Like two nights ago. He's been sleeping more, you know...'cuz of the _baby_ an' all...” Suddenly, he lifts his head. “ ** _ADRIAN! Oh shit!_** ” Chad reaches out and tries to snatch Jensen's hand. “Someone needs to call Adrian, man. He's still prolly at the office. He can meet—-the hospital, not here...”

Jensen realizes that Chad's not going to release Milo to anybody; Milo's “pup bump” is pressed against Chad's body, like he's trying to protect and keep both safe. “Chad... _Chad_!” He's moving and trying to catch Chad's eyes. “Look at me!” He under-grips Chad's chin, even though the Omega tries to rip away from his clutch. “Milo's gonna be okay. Feel his heart. Go on...put your hand on his chest. He's still got a pulse. He's gonna be fine.”

Jensen keeps repeating that mantra in his own head, trying to push back his own fears as he attempts to remain calm and take his rightful spot as lead Alpha. It's the pack's first 'pup'; there's no way _any_ of them are going to let this moment turn tragic.

==&&==&&==  
 **JARED [ age 13-15 –** _Past_ **] -**

  
A day or so after Jared had hit puberty...tragedy struck.

According to Jared's own way of thinking, which had tended to be on the side of the overly-dramatic, he wasn't going to ever be a Beta. This news had been utterly devastating.

He was Omega.

The only person who would've understood his emotional upheaval wasn't around any longer. Jared's mother Omega hadn't died, although he often had felt that achy void one who's passed away leaves inside a loved one's body. She might as well have died. She had been allowed to return to her old pack. Gerald and Sherri had claimed to not want anymore children. It had seemed like nobody but Jared had been upset to see their mother Omega go. He hadn't been able to hold much trust in her saying she would stay “in touch”.

He could've used her wisdom and advice back then. Actually, in truth, what he had wanted was one of her hugs.

The Padalecki's had still needed an Omega to help raise their family. A new one had been found and had been brought to live in the old Omega's room. This new Omega hadn't been the same. She had been too efficient—-always black or white, right or wrong, no gray area in between. She was too regimented—-she made lists for everything... _every-_ ** _thing_**. Jared often felt like he had been placed in boot camp and being turned into a soldier, not a teenager trying to cope with his sucky lot in life.

Gerald hadn't wanted more “pups” so the new Omega didn't have to worry about sex or breeding. Sherri would suffice in these later years for her Alpha. Jared had often wondered how exactly an Omega “took care” of themselves if they never left the house to seek out an Alpha's knotted cock...then he stopped those images in his head immediately so he wouldn't be sick to his stomach.

At the first stirrings of his heat cycle, with the obvious slick-wetness of his hole, Jared had done everything he could to not bother his parents, to try and deal with this problem on his own. He had some crazy idea he could bear the brunt of his heat, without help. He had pretended to be sick, which had been too easy as he had already been flushed and quite feverish from his heat anyway. The only difference being that he had tried to hump the bed and the pillow he normally tucked under his leg. Luckily, the day this struck was when the new Omega had several tasks to do outside the house. While his parents were at work, older siblings and his twin brothers at school, and Megan out shopping with the new Omega, Jared was left blissfully home alone.

He had woken with a feeling of wetness between his legs: it hadn't been a typical wet dream, nor had he peed the bed. He had to lay in the mess while everyone left the house, until he could check for himself and climb out of bed. His fears of being found out had stopped him from thrusting out his hips or from even tucking a hand inside of his boxers to play with himself. Once he was out of bed, standing upright, he had no idea how he hadn't leaked over his sheets and mattress; everything had been dry. His first instinct had been to clean himself down there, preferably using the opportunity to be curious enough to find out what the hell was going on with his body, and how could he relieve himself of this need to feel completely full inside and want to come so badly.

Jared had stood under the warm shower spray for a long time until he had the nerve to reserve some time to “taking care of” himself. It all had begun to feel rather dirty and wrong; he would feel shameful of the way he felt so empty and kept wanting to fill his hole full with _something_... _anything_ he could get his hands on that was shaped like a cock. Eventually, he had just used his fingers, reaching around as he braced a hand on the tile wall. He was able to angle his body and his arm in such a way that his fingertips scraped over a nub inside of his body that felt _nice_ to touch—-he would have to recall that spot for future reference. It caused him to self-lubricate more and to now leak so much pre-come he didn't think he'd shoot any semen, but that wasn't the case when he brought himself to a half-assed orgasm. He'd stroked himself to orgasms before, when he wasn't in heat, but this was so damn different—-sticky thick ropes of semen that actually made a “plopping” sound once they hit the tiled floor near the drain.

Christ! He didn't think many 13 year-olds were supposed to be this self-aware of their own sexuality. It had only felt weird to be so young yet to feel such a wanton desire for the biggest, knottiest dick he could find. He had ended up bringing a towel with him to bed, crawling back under the pile of covers and just jacking and fingering himself to some type of satiation. He had to remember the new Omega would come home at some point, but when she did he would try not to look too obvious to what he'd been doing by himself in the privacy of his room.

Of course he had failed at this colossal feat as the new Omega ended up tattling on him since she knew what the signs were for spotting newly forming Omegas. Jared hadn't known whether to act hateful or be grateful his parents knew, but very quickly Jared had been separated from his siblings, isolated in a room of his own and lots of “toys” were bought for him to play with in order to work his body out of his heat. Sadly, the new Omega offered to help, but Jared had told her she'd done enough for him. He had stayed in his room through his first heat, often finding himself fondly watching the neighbors next door, who were not-so-new anymore.

One day, during his never-ending first heat, Jared'd had enough, and during a lull he had walked over to the neighbor's house, knocked on their front door and tried to find the words to invite himself in. It had been mid-afternoon, less children around than usual, but there was a group of Omegas inside the middle house that took one look at the young cub and, one by one, they proceeded to drag him into several hugs—-sometimes all at once. Their embraces were familiar to him because they were the same hugs he used to get from his mother Omega.

Right away he had broken down emotionally, admitting he'd been hiding away on purpose because he felt guilt and shame. Shame was for being an Omega in light of none of his other siblings being one; guilt was that his shame somehow lowered the worth of the role of his mother Omega played in his life.

Each Omega present had wanted to touch him, make him feel loved and wanted. There was nothing sexual about their caresses; they understood how touch-starved Jared had felt. Especially after trying to alleviate the freakish wantonness of his heat with knotted dildos and prostate massagers—-no normal 13 year-old should be worrying about this kind of adult stuff.

Lucky for him, the Omegas had just begun preparing for a breeding ritual, which Jared immediately thought meant they all would have to breed with the Alpha. Jared hadn't been sure he could agree to something that quickly without even asking any of their names yet. In truth, this ritual was going to be a small ceremony with several Omegas sitting in a circle around the mating couple on the floor; the mating Alpha and his Omega would lie on a bed of thin mattresses and an array of pillows settled in the center of the Omega's bodily circle. As the mating couple had moved their bodies together, as one—-even before penetration—-the surrounding Omegas had offered out their hands and energies, their warmth and inner joy toward the breeding couple. After penetration, there had been slow-motion thrusting as the conjoined pair of Alpha and Omega had rested on their sides and once the Alpha had braced himself, he would begin to jut inside the slippery, leaking hole until he had been properly knotted. Once he had been embedded deep, he had given two quick jolts of his hips and then began to cry out his own pleasure as he had released the copious amounts of semen needed to impregnate his mated Omega. This Omega had never made a sound, but it was very clear how much pleasure and intense bliss she had been in...like she knew she and her Alpha had just made a “pup”.

Though Jared had seen plenty of births in his young life, and had known how sex worked, being able to witness an actual  
ceremony with his own eyes stunned him to total silence and was—-hands down—-one of the most awesome, and coolest, life-changing experiences he'd ever had in his life—-up to this point. It had been weird how being here, amongst the other Omegas, with the air thick with sex and the scent of bodily secretions...his heat had become temperate and manageable. It had been like he was channeling all the Omega life energies and they had become as one unit...one body.

He had even stayed behind when the other Omegas had leisurely stood as the Alpha and his Omega had remained knotted together. Jared had begun to feel his second bout of envy as he had watched the tenderness displayed from Alpha to Omega: how hands lovingly caressed, how bodies still moved in tandem to ride out the pleasurable aftermath. He'd seen how tenderly-rough the Alpha cupped the Omegas jaw from around the front to arch her backward as his chest lay glued by his perspiration to her curved back...how he tried to kiss her and she playfully dodged him...how he didn't react with a glare of anger, but laughed instead. When her body had no longer been feeling too much pain down around her sphincter, she had managed to sit them upright, folding her legs under her body so that her Alpha had to comply with the same body movements; his bent knees planted on either side of her frame. She would playfully push against his pelvis as if taunting him to keep thrusting, like he hadn't released enough come to make their “pup”.

Jared hadn't even been bothered by the nudity: the bared breasts or the small triangle of pubic hair in the apex of the delicate thighs. He'd known, just last year, that he wasn't attracted to girls...young women. He had attempted to peer at the Alpha, see if there had been anything he could find remotely attractive that would change his mind about giving away his body so openly and in such raw vulnerability. The Alpha had been handsome enough, quite older than his mated Omega, but it had been his smile that charmed Jared—-or more so the light of love and acceptance radiating off the male Alpha. He hadn't known that an Alpha could look so happy and content, always smiling and joyful, playful like a child with his Omega.

It had been almost an hour later—-someone mumbled 45 minutes—-when the Alpha's knot had decreased and he would be able to leave the room. The female Omega had slid off her Alpha's lap, landing amidst the pillows and thin mattress like her body was made of pure liquid. She had started to move around, almost cat-like, and let her brother and sister Omegas form their circle around her again. They had performed the same ministrations on her to complete her breeding ritual. Her Alpha could stay or go—-he had chosen to stay and had lay just off to the side of her, closely watching her flail and flutter about as if she could feel the fertilization of his sperm to her egg, or eggs. In a few more minutes, the ceremony had been over and the Alpha had redressed in his long gown and robe, picking up the discarded clothing of his Omega. He had held out each piece of clothing for her, willing to dress her as if she still couldn't move her legs or couldn't move any of her joints. She had looked quite flushed and had this appearance of utter satiation on her beautiful face.

At that exact moment, Jared had never wanted to be an Omega more. To feel that...power...that...control. The role of giver and keeper of pack life was no joke. The idea of being linked forever, connected so closely...knotted to an Alpha of his choosing...because Jared refused to be the type of Omega who was passed around from Alpha to Alpha...

He had watched the female Omega soothe across her lower belly, over her own long gown and robe as if sensing that a fetus had started to form. She had allowed herself to be walked out of the gathering room by her elbow, on her way to the kitchen so they could rehydrate her body and feed her if she was hungry. Jared had been told that generally Omegas who had just finished breeding liked to sleep for hours, going back to their own beds and would huddle under soft down covers to settle on their sides and dream of the future life they'd bring into the world. Jared had been surprised to hear that this Alpha wouldn't leave his Omega's side for another day or so. After the initial breeding ritual, it hadn't been to try and copulate in their bed, only to make certain that their “pup” would be made on or around that very day. It would be up to the Omega whether they wanted to be knotted again, most said “yes”, very few refused their Alphas any pleasures—-their Alphas pleasures were their own for many.

Pulled aside to have a glass of milk and a sandwich of his own, Jared had been taken under a few Omegas wings to be taught a few pieces of information. This was the kind of teachings he had missed with his own mother Omega, or had wished she could have given to him had she stuck around. Jared had been told that not all traditionalist packs had a polyamorous atmosphere, so he had known right away that he had been privileged to see something sacred and profound with in this particular pack. It had been weird to feel such a strong, unbreakable connection to only the Omegas, to be around them in clusters, to scent them and to share their warmth, their energies. He had fallen in love with the bunch of them, which then allowed him to adore their Betas and then eventually the Alphas themselves.

Jared had been very aware that his wasn't his 'pack', but he could dream. For his next heat cycle, instead of locking himself away in his room with his fingers, a sloppy hole and his toy knots...he packed a small duffel bag, telling his parents he would be leaving to stay the night at a “friend's” house, never letting them think anything was amiss. They second he had knocked on their front door, the next-door neighbor Omegas took him in, sheltering him in their arms and showering him with concerns and affections. They had begun to “foster” Jared for as long as he needed, until he was properly mated.

These Omegas had special gifts; Jared could swear it was as if their hands were soaked in magic. Simply being in their presence, amongst his kin Omegas, Jared had been able to ease himself through several heats, learning the ways in which he could control his own body and shift focus so that he didn't need an Alpha each and every time. When he was of an age, at least 15, or if he would eventually become mated...the Omegas would bring him into the ritual circle and then he would be able to graduate into Omega adulthood. Their ceremonial ways had become their own pack's traditions, using ancient and timeless practices that weren't of their pack's culture, but of the pure Omega culture.

Jared had been sent into a room, as plain as any military barracks, with three twin beds lines up next to each other. There were small dressers and a tiny bedside table. The trunk at the end of the bedframe held clothing—-ceremonial gown and a robe, extra blankets and another pillow. In a few days time, Jared would be joined by a second Omega who had just entered his heat cycle, but was 16 and officially mated, but was being courted by his Alpha until this very day.

He would have to inform them when his heat turned unbearably painful for him or when he felt the slickness of his own hole, whichever came first. The would know if he tried to lie to them, just to be less of a burden. Jared had tried to use what he been discovering over the last year and a half and focus on his body, opening his mind to whatever he was feeling.

He had started to unpack his duffel, putting the framed photograph of his mother Omega on the bedside table. Quite in tune with his feelings and emotions at this point, he began to recall everything he'd found out about what had truly happened to his mother Omega—-and the truth to the origins of his birth. Funny how being able to center his body and mind with these Omega lessons he had managed to open his own life at home to a harsh and devastating reality.

So many wasted years of being lied to, of hating the one person he had once loved more than his own life. His mother Omega's sudden abandonment had struck him quite hard. It was why he had changed his mind and avidly refused to ever become an Omega, why he had wished to become Beta now more than ever. For so many years, Jared had believed that _she_ was his real mother, then he found out his mother Beta was his true parent. He'd been crushed. His mother Omega had only lent out her womb to carry the fertilized egg of the Alpha and his Beta of her pack. She was a simple carrier, not a true birth mother. Jared hadn't understood why he had felt such a stronger connection for one and not the other, surely that would prove who his true mother had been.

Most pack societies create life from the mating of Alphas and Omegas. Jared's parents had been such New-Freedomers that they had foregone the natural sacred beauty of a breeding and birth ritual, delving into human science and medical technology to use artificial insemination to generate their very own offspring. Like playing God in their own packs. The impregnated their young Omegas, who sometimes never knew or understood exactly how much different the breeding/birthing was in this type of pack mentality.

No wonder his Mother Omega had desired to return to her old pack. She had birthed seven Padalecki children and not a single ounce of love and affection had been showered on her. Save for Jared's paltry attempts—-at least that's been what he has thought. Sherri had shown the Omega every ounce of attention she could offer, after she'd lavish more on her Alpha; it was scraps and felt like an afterthought in hindsight.

Jared had felt the pin-pricks of tears to know that all that time had been wasted. His mother Omega had endured her lot in her pack life. The most thoughtful thing had been to return her to her real home, to where she had felt the most love and where she had wanted to be.

He would never know that his mother Omega had been prepared to stay...for him. He hadn't even been aware that she had known he would turn Omega, and she would have gladly stuck around to get him through his heats and eventually lead up to him being properly mated with his lifemate Alpha. She had informed the Padalecki's that if they treated their son with less worth than their other children, then she would happily relieve them of Jared, taking him with her back home. Gerald and Sherri both thought it was quite disrespectful of their Omega to speak of Jared so lowly and then to try to talk to them with such an open honesty. It had been that moment when the Omega had learned that being a New-Freedomer hadn't been any better than a traditionalist. At least with her own family—-her pack—-she knew her place and could thrive until her eventual death.

Gerald had wanted nothing to do with this Omega and Sherri had felt betrayed and disappointed. An hour later after their heated conversation, there had been no sign of this Omega having even existed in their pack. Over the next 48hrs, a new Omega was in the old one's place...and Jared had been left destroyed, unable to breathe and his heart irrevocably shattered.

As the old memories swam inside his head, Jared had lain in the twin bed, swinging his legs onto the mattress and laying back on the thin goose-down feather pillow, folding his arms behind his head. It had felt cool to his overheating skin. In fact, every sheet and blanket had begun to feel cold against his warming body.

The more time he spent amongst this pack's Omegas, the more Jared had started to learn exactly how special and awe inspiring an Omega's role was to the family. He had been stunned that in purist and traditional packs, they were almost spiritual beings or thought of as close to God and Heaven. They would be givers or life and keepers of the future generations of their pack. The men and women weren't treated differently and within their own packs they thought as one. Of course they each had separate opinions on certain matters, because they had survived various experiences, but in the end it had been a compromise to love and work in unity.

In a traditionalist pack, the Alpha and the Betas did work as one, but then the mated couples had worked as their own tiny family, their children would be well-loved and nurtured by the entire pack. From watching a breeding, to watching a birth...and to finally witness a birth from a breeding he had seen—-a true birth, one from the couplinf of an Alpha and his Omega, Jared could understand what had eaten away at his mother Omega. He could push away his silly, selfish hatefulness toward her and re-open his heart and mind to understanding. It hadn't been long before he had found that old love and affection he'd been storing away for his “true mother”.

He had known she had loved every single 'Pup” she had given birth to. He had known she had loved him best because he had returned that love without giving away the odd affections he held for his parents. He had also figured out for his own sanity that something else had to have happened to have changed her mind about leaving for good. He had known if she was aware he would become an Omega (how could she not have known?), she would have never gone back home without making sure he was okay.

~~*~~

 _“_ _—love..”_

 _“_ _mmm?” Jared had leaned back into his mother Omega's warm embrace, his eyes closing in blissful half-sleep._

 _“_ _Promise me...promise me that if it gets unbearable for you—-no matter if I'm around or not, you'll find yourself a safe place where you do belong. A place where...you're loved for who you are, not what you are. Most of all, promise me that you'll give your heart away only once, then never again.”_

 _“_ _Never?” Jared had thought that word use was rather serious. “mommy?”_

 _“_ _ssshhh...trust me. Once will be enough. But choose wisely.”_

~~*~~

Jared's eyes had shot open when the door to the room had burst back on its hinges and in had walked a tall, lanky teen, about his age, maybe a year older. Jared had started to rise to his elbows, taking his fill of the other Omega.

Funny, he hadn't looked very calming or even sensitive, like some Omegas—-well, like Jared. All dark and leathery, smelling of tobacco and mint leaves, some muskiness from either his own body odor or the leftover scent of cologne. He carried a cloth guitar case over one shoulder and held an extra-large Army green duffel bag in his right hand, stuffed with who-knew what.

“You Jared?” The teen had lifted his chin, giving Jared a good look-see.

“uh, yeah...who'r you?” Jared would've smacked his own head for not asking what the other Omega's name would be.

The teen had stomped in to throw his stuff on the third bed, on the other side of the room from Jared. He had wandered around the end of the bed-frame, hand extended toward Jared. “Name's Milo.” One side of the pretty mouth had quirked up as he took a quick seat on the side of the second bed, sniffling the air one he had Jared's entire hand encompassed in his grip. His smile had begun to widen with a quiet slyness. “You an I are gonna be the best of friends.”

No words had ever been truer.

 

**== &&==&&==**

**TBC...**


	3. Chapter 3

**JARED / JENSEN [** _25 / 28 ; Present_ **] :**

  
Jensen stands outside the private hospital room, pacing the tile flooring; his two secondary Alphas, Adrian and Christian, are sitting in the conjoined chairs along the corridor, watching their leader flip the fuck out.

“Jen, seriously...Omegas have been giving birth since the dawn of time.” This nugget of confidence building is coming out of Christian's mouth. The pessimistic realist. “It's not like it'll be the end of the world.”

“Nah, man.” Adrian, Milo's mated Alpha, who had left his office to reach the hospital before the ambulance got to the ER, taps Christian's knee. “It goes deeper than worry for Milo.” He looks up at Jensen, threading his fingers, palm to palm, to rest between his splayed legs. “It's the pack you're thinking of. How this means...it's legit. There's no going back. We do this shit now or we go home, like bad little doggies...with our tails between our legs.”

The attempt at ironic humor isn't overlooked between Jensen and Christian.

Jensen is able to see his Betas—well, his Alphas' Betas—from his stance in the hallway, as they stand bedside in the room with the other Omega and Milo. “It's too real. Jus' last week I was secondary Alpha to my father's pack. Now...”

Adrian snorts a laugh, ankle crosses over a knee as he puts an arm up and over Christian's chair. “That was almost five years ago. I think it was about fuckin' time we decided to make this family a _reality_.” His confidence didn't hide his shakiness, which is why Christian keeps a hand hovering over Adrian's knee. “ ** _I_** should be the one pacing. My kid's trying to come into this world before it's time.”

Christian sits back, feeling Adrian's thick forearm resting along his neck and nape. “Milo's a fighter, bro. He'll make it through.”

Adrian hangs his head, giving a small smile and then pinches his lips. “Sometimes I think I love him more than I rightly should.”

Christian lowers his hand to now pat the thick thigh. “You love him differently because he can carry your bloodline along after you die. I'm tellin' you, man...once you get over yourself an' start to realize Omegas are the true 'pack' of a family, then you start to open your heart and mind to their power. Not 'control' power, but their pure essence. It's not as if you love your Omega more than your Beta.”

“Is there some chance you an' Chad'll—?”

“Dude... i's not just up to me, it's him, too. I'm not gonna breed him simply 'cuz I'm supposed to.” Christian flashes a look up to Jensen's face—Jensen isn't even listening to their conversation—then he lowers his gaze to focus back on his brother Alpha. “I want him to want a 'pup' as much as I do.”

“Do you try telling _him_ this?”

“Nah, too busy fuckin' our brains out.” Christian laughs heartily while elbowing Adrian, and Adrian lets his body sway with the sudden jolt as he stares at his brother Alpha.

“You are one crazy-ass fucker, you know that?”

“But I'm loving...an' lovable.” Christian gestures to his features as if he were some game show hostess. “Who can resist this face?”

Jensen has wandered away from his Alphas to lean against the wall opposite the glass window that allows him to see into the room. The blinds are drawn, but the slats are open. He clears his throat when he can detect that the Betas share a look between themselves that's meant in silent discussion; they take care of their Omegas and they often become the responsible ones of the two mated couples. Jensen averts his head to glance over at his two secondary Alphas with a silly grin on his face. He never thought Adrian and Christian would ever be _this_ civil with one another, not even when each of them had been there for the other in times of strife and struggle. Or when they would rally together under Jensen. Somewhere down the five-year path Adrian had made some truce with Christian and they had become good friends. For awhile there, Jensen had figured he might have to get rid of one of them or find a third Alpha to even out their petty bickering. Now it was more like good-natured ribbing.

The door to Milo's room finally opened. Steve and Sophia came bustling out. Steve had an arm around Sophia's shoulders and Sophia had one arm around Steve's waist, both their hands grappling for material. Steve keeps swallowing hard, looking down at the floor; Sophia simply lets her face show she's been crying, wiping away each falling tear.

Both Adrian and Christian go stiff, staring slack-jawed at Sophia, awaiting news.

Jensen pushes off the wall, heading right into Steve and Sophia's path. “Tell me the truth. I can smell a lie a mile away.”

Sophia sniffles. “Well, it's as we expected. He bled because of the 'pup'.”

Adrian groans, burying his head in his hands as he leans over. Christian settles an arm across Adrian's back, soothing along the opposite shoulder.

Jensen's not taking that news as being something negative. “Is it an _either/or_ situation?”

“ _huh?_ ” Sophia doesn't comprehend for the moment.

Steve clears his throat. “The 'pup' moved inside the womb—not supposed to. If he moves again...” Without realizing it, he's just revealed the sex of the baby. Steve is quick to try and make peace with Adrian for his mistake.

Adrian releases another painful groan.

Christian leans his head on Adrian's closest shoulder. “— _jesus christ_...”

Steve feels he has to go for broke or shut the hell up and let another speak. “...there's things attached between carrier and fetus. If the baby moves out of position, he's liable to cut off nutrients, or worse...stop their shared oxygen.”

“ ** _FUCK!_** ” Adrian shoots off his chair, wandering down the corridor. Every so often he leans on one side of the wall, then shoves himself away to try and walk a straight line, tucking his hands into his trouser pockets.

On instinct, Christian makes a move to go toward his brother Alpha, but Sophia breaks away from Steve—after a tight hug and kiss on the cheek. “I got him. I'll bring him back.” She pats Christian's chest wall, then takes off after her mate.

Steve and Jensen share a “look”, then Steve speaks up, “You should go in there, Jen. They wanna say a few words to you.”

“ _uh, yeah-yeah_ , of course.” Jensen glances down the hall to Adrian and Sophia, wondering if he should follow them before he gets involved with whatever's inside the room. He blinks then looks at Christian, watching how watery blue eyes don't seem to want to shift away from Adrian's retreating form. He gently slaps a hand on the side of the thick neck, trying to get those wide blue eyes to focus on him. As he pushes the cheek to the left, a tear manages to escape. He gulps nervously. “ _hey-hey-hey_...we'll get him through this—together. We've gotten through worse, and we're closer for it—tighter than ever.” Jensen brings Christian in for a mild embrace, by the scruff of his neck, and presses the lower portion of his face against the top of Christian's dark hair, pulled back into a ponytail.

Against Jensen's chest, Christian starts to mumble his words. “He's hurtin' an' I-I-I can't...no matter what I do, it still hurts.” He turns to lift his head and face Steve, who knows and understands what he means. As Betas, Steve and Sophia have their bond as they grow closer over the years within the pack. Steve had been the one to encourage Christian to open his heart to Adrian. Foolishly, Christian knew this would happen—the other Alpha worming his way into his affections—but dear God, he never knew how deep the bond could go with his brother Alpha.

Jensen shifts his eyebrows to show Steve he should take Christian somewhere, try to make him calm. “I'm gonna see what the boys want, then...I don't want Adrian to keep vigil here. I need him focused and at home. I want him to be kept busy. If you have to, take him out of town for a few days. Leave Sophia here to represent him.”

Christian allows his weakened frame to be sent over to Steve's tender care, that loving arm going secure about his shoulders. “You going to let Adrian see Milo before he leaves?” He sends a hand haphazardly over his face to swipe at moisture.

Steve quietly shakes his head to tell Jensen it's not a good idea. “He's sedated. They want him on bed rest indefinitely.” He can see how much this destroys Christian. “He wouldn't even be aware if Adrian was there or not.”

“ _Jesus..._ ” Jensen smooths a hand over the back of his head, curving about his nape. “ _Our first 'pup'..._ ” With that declaration and deep sigh, he starts to head toward the partially open door. He can hear muttered words, but isn't sure if the boys were alone or not. He knocks on the glass to be sure.

“ _uh, yeah—come in._ ”

Jensen pushes open the paneling to catch sight of Chad climbing onto the bed, settling his body behind Milo. He's spooning chest to back, one arm surrounding the protruding belly. “I jus'—”

“Ohmy! Alpha...” Chad almost falls off the mattress, one sneakered-foot squeaking on the tiled floor.

“ _whoa!whoa!whoa!_ I's okay, Chad, Stay there.” Jensen doesn't think it will harm Milo to be embraced or feel another Omega's warm body. He can tell the bed won't be big enough for both, even when they were two of thinnest, lankiest Omegas. “We'll get the Doc to change his bed to something bigger.” Jensen recalls some traditionalist packs birthing rituals, where an Omega—acting as mid-wife—would cradle the pregnant Omega between spread legs and allow them to lay against their chest. He narrows his eyes, watching Chad return to settling himself down against Milo's back.

Despite all the machine wires and plastic tubing, Chad manages to get himself packed tight behind Milo. He'll rest his cheek on the softness of inky black hair, kiss the dark stubbled cheek and then bury his face on a shoulder blade. “... _each Omega is precious, such as the life they give is deemed as well_...”

Jensen flinches a little at the words, “life they give”, because Milo almost ended up giving over his own life for his own 'pup'. He wonders where Chad had gotten this maternal nurturing or even the ancient scriptured words about the old Omega culture. For all Jensen knew, Chad's own pack had taught him. Or maybe Christian had shared a tale or two. But then again, there was Steve and Sophia...even Adrian; all of them had different pack experiences during childhood. Jensen could only say that _he_ hadn't been the one who taught Chad this particular piece of information. “They'll let one of us stay here in the room with him.” He lifts one dark brown eyebrow in curiosity. “Is that something you'd like to—?”

“Yes, Alpha—uh, sorry...Jensen...sorry.” Chad's flustered, only because he was the one who had found Milo and he can't shake the memory or even walk ten steps away from his brother Omega without the fear he'll die. He still feels traumatized, feeling stupid guilt for not having checked on his brother Omega a few minutes sooner.

Jensen smiles warmly, grabbing for one of Milo's covered feet. He slowly lets his hand trail upward to the curve of a hip, where one mere move will allow him to caress the stretch of belly, or lay his palm against the roundness. At only five months, he wonders if that kicking sensation is possible. Just because the 'pup' changed position doesn't mean it will move when someone touches the belly. Jensen keeps his hand laying against the mound. He always believed Omegas were quite ethereal and beautiful at this moment, brimming with “life” inside their bodies and sheltering the future of the pack.

Chad waits, letting the silence of the room rebuild his confidence back. He lifts his head, gently rubbing his face over Milo's silky strands. “Jensen...”

“yeah?”

“I think he _knows_...or he knew. Milo, that is.”

“What? That the baby would shift?”

“No, that it could reach a point of...choosing between him or the 'pup'.”

“Christ!” Jensen pulls his hand off Milo's belly, running fingers through his short dark blonde locks. “No one is going to have to make that decision because it's not gonna happen.” He tucks his fist in his pockets, pacing away from the bed.

“Alpha, you know Milo.” Chad keeps his head on the pillow, leaning forward against Milo's hair. It's only his eyes that follow his lead Alpha around the room. “You've seen how active he is. This—this kind of outcome isn't going to slow him down at all.”

“Well, maybe now it will.” Jensen finally stops to end up at the foot-board, one hand coming out to grip the ledge. “Bed rest just might be exactly what he needs.”

“No, you don't understand. I think anyone would take the suggestion to heart, but who's to say the bed rest stops the fetus simply 'cuz Milo's lying still.”

Jensen tries to wrap his head around the crack logic. “oh-kayyy...so, what do you suggest?”

“It's kind of ironic. Milo's told me _what_ he wants. He's the one who's been—as I've been getting' closer with him...you know 'cuz of the 'pup' an' stuff—like us being Omegas in the same pack, he told me 'bout the pack he was born into—like how he grew up. Simple things to kill time an' shoot the breeze, but...”

“But— _what_ , Chad?”

“At first I thought Milo was boastin' to show me up as havin' been raised different, better even. But, nah, man...the stuff he knows—the _things_ he's been taught...they fuckin' work, man.”

“Work? Like...what do you mean?”

“Okay, so...I dared him. I dared him to prove to me that the bullshit he spews was legit.”

“What did you do, Chad?”

“Me? I didn't do a damn thing. It was Milo. All Milo.” Chad leans back, rolling his head on the pillow to stare up at the ceiling tiles. “I got, uhm...I got caught in the recording studio one night. Just—some tracks I needed to edit and burn to disc an' then— _whammo!_ —my heat started.”

“Chad...we've already told you—”

“ _I know-I know_ , but...” Chad pauses because he knows he'll get Christian in trouble if he tells too many smaller details of _why_ he was there so late. “The artist really needed this demo, so I stayed up an' worked twice as hard an' then...my first instinct is to always dial Christian. Get him to meet me half-way an' we'd, you know—wherever we are. But I was stuck in the studio, my heat hittin' me hard...there's the lounge just off the—anyway, no one would be there in the morning. Then I remembered he was at some charity event with Steve.”

“Chad, you're rambling.” Jensen stares down at Chad as the boy just unravels a story like he's swerving on a highway into oncoming traffic. “Get to the point.”

“My point being...Milo—I called him. I tripled his bet an' got him to get his ass to the studio.”

Jensen quirks up one side of his mouth, looking down at Milo's sleeping form. “Sounds like a bad porn plot.”

“See! You'd think so, but our minds don't work that way, Jen. I think it's 'cuz we always know our place an', well, we kinda like how you Alphas and Betas dote on us. Who'd wanna fuck that gig up?”

“Good to know.” Jensen folds his arms, walking around the side of the mattress Chad's not on, leaning on the bed railing to sit-a-spell since Chad still hasn't finished his story. He attempts to search for a chair, but finds one on the other side of the room.

“So, the bet was...Milo knows a way to get Omegas through their heats without needing the help of an Alpha.”

For a second, Jensen is startled; this fact sounds impossible. “But you _always_ need your Alpha.”

“eh, but...my Alpha doesn't cycle like me. Hence why he's at a singing engagement an' I'm stuck in a soundproof recording studio, fingering my hole—which, mind you, wept like a friggin' faucet—as I jacked my dick raw...”

“Chad, you can spare me _every_ single detail.”

“Shut up.” Chad bent his left arm at the elbow and tucked the arm under his head to lie back at a raised position. “I know how you Alpha bend. You like it when we go insane for you in our heats.”

“No. Some of us Alphas are considerate of our Omegas and we can't stand seeing you in such pain, knowing you try to cope alone makes us ache.”

“Hey, an Omega's gotta do what an Omega's gotta do, regardless of you pinheads. You think I want Steve to put me on his 'shit list'.”

Jensen doesn't even want to hear Chad joke about Steve's old hatred of him when he first mated with Christian. “Steve adores you.”

“Sure. _Now_ he does, 'cuz he sees how his Alpha is after I'm done with him.” Feeling a bit too confident about himself, Chad tucks his tongue into his left cheek, then bites down to shut his mouth.

“Chad...I think you're way off topic.”

Chad untucks his left arm to extend out the hand, palm outward. “Wait! I'll get there—eventually.” He shimmies his ass to work himself to sit upright. It's amazing how Milo doesn't even wake up; the drugs must be good or he's heard this story before. “So Milo tells me when he reached puberty, had his first heat...he wasn't mated yet with his Alpha—duh, Adrian. But what the Omegas did in his pack was, like, a, uh...ceremony or a, uh...ritual. They gave him this warm bath, massaged his body to, like, this fugue state...an' then they—they, like, all put there hands on him. Said they gave him their 'energy' an' shi-stuff. An' well, he didn't mention _everything_ , but he said his arousal went...bye-bye.” He thought the added “wave” of his hand would add a cool effect.

“What? _That_ day, in _that_ moment? And it never came back again?”

“All day and night, they did this with him. His cycle that time was fierce—actually made him sick. The Omegas didn't like seeing him tore-up like that.”

“hmm...” Jensen bites down on his top lip. “Milo hasn't had it easy as an Omega, has he?”

“—but that's where you're wrong. He _loves_ it—we all do. You think we don't because you use your tiny, dumb Alpha brains to think we cringe every time you touch us.”

“But— _you do cringe!_ ”

“Not from _our_ Alpha's touch! We want you to put your hands on us—we do...but—have you ever seen what Milo talked about?”

“I don't know.” Jensen shrugs his shoulders, leaning his elbows on the railing. “I've heard of something similar, but from ancient texts. Purists tend to live an extremely different life than Traditionalists. And New-Freedomers are...well, they love the nuclear family structure.”

Chad's not interested in a crash course in pack history. “Anyway—he helped me through, he did. I swear. My heats can sometimes last really long. I know the ones that do, I need my Alpha, but this one struck me down, unawares.”

Jensen raised one eyebrow in perplexity; once again, he'd been mesmerized by Chad's musical chattering. “How does this matter to the situation Milo's in?”

“Milo _needs_ Jared.” Chad say it so easily, like Jensen knows what, and who, he means.

The “code” is lost on Jensen. “I'm sorry? Who? Jared? Who's Jared?” Suddenly, he's aware that he knows absolutely everything he should know about his Alpha—Adrian, and his Alpha's Beta—Sophia, but somehow he's managed to skip right over his Alpha's Omega—Milo. Adrian doesn't keep secrets and doesn't wish others to privately get to know Milo, but Jensen's never sat down with the young Omega and just shoot-the-shit with him like he can do with his other pack members. He hasn't needed to pull Chad aside because the boy's like an open sieve, just spewing useless nonsense left and right. Jensen pays attention to less than half of it.

“Another Omega. Milo's best friend. A, uh...'foster' brother, I think.”

Jensen frowns with suspicion. “Milo's pack _fostered_ 'pups'?” He knew their pack mentality, but they were one of the largest packs in the San Antonio area. It seemed unreal that they would take on orphaned pack members, but it made sense.

“Just _one_. And only this particular Omega. They took him in when his family kept hiding him away, getting him to lock his bedroom door and deal with his heat on his own.”

“ _jesus..._ ” Jensen stares long and hard at Chad to make sure it's not a joke; Chad never breaks his serious character. “And the other packs allowed this? Allowed an Omega to be treated like a second-class citizen?”

Chad broke out of his serious face and shook his body, stretching his right arm out to lay above Milo's head and start fiddling with the dark strands. “I don't know, man. Ask Milo when he wakes.” He shrugs one shoulder as he averts his gaze to his brother Omega. “I'm jus' the messenger.”

“ _I know-I know_. Sorry. I didn't mean to raise my voice to you.” Jensen moves upward, along the bed-frame more, so he can reach out, and down, to touch Milo's face, caress his pale cheek. “I love my 'pack'.” He knows he can't touch Chad this same way, unless he was unconscious, but he still gives the young Omega he's steely look of pride. “Each one of you is an extension of me. Thinking about how some lead Alphas treat their pack members—mainly the Omegas...I might get a little defensive—passionate, I guess.” Jensen clears his throat. “It's what puts me on most lead Alphas blacklists.” Not too often, but often enough, Jensen will get long glares and some will ignore him or his pack simply because he's vocal about his views on the cruelties done to some Omegas during Pack Council meetings.

“It's okay.” Chad looks at Jensen again. “I wish I had more Alphas like you in my life growin' up. Once I knew I was Omega, I knew my place, knew my role—hated the fact that others enjoyed tellin' me where I belonged.” He says the last statement with a bit of venomous undercurrent to his tone.

Despite Chad's garbled mind and nervous conversations, Jensen loves the kid. He loved that Chad had taken to Christian, and Christian would give equally back. Jensen likes their dynamic, likes how each could easily slip into a submissive role while the other dominates, without blinking an eye. Same with Milo, although Adrian and Milo had already come to him mated; he did like the tough and rugged Milo with the tight-assed, business-suit-wearing Adrian. The ways Omega loved Alpha without any boundaries—-anything goes. He has wished for his own well-matched Omega, which has been odd to admit since he hasn't even found his mated Beta as of yet.

Soon. Somehow, he knew...he would find the perfect mate to run his pack by his side.

==&&==&&==

Jared is with a client when he receives the unusual text out of the blue from some—“Chad, from Ackles' pack”. He knew his best friend, and brother Omega, had moved into an Ackles family, with his mated Alpha, Adrian, several years ago. He had gotten the invite for the going-away party, but backed out of the last minute because of scheduling conflicts at his job. He regrets not saying a last goodbye to Milo, but knew that they would one day meet up again. They would go right back to their brotherly ways like they'd never been apart.

Maybe this was that day.

Jared texts back a quick reply that he needs to clear some free time in order to meet this “Chad” for lunch. Just a random date and time to meet tomorrow; nothing big and complicated.

He hides his iPhone in his pocket, heading back into the room and trying to focus with his co-workers on how exactly to help this Omega get through their natural birthing ritual at home.

==&&==&&==

Chad makes damn sure he arrives early so he can check out this “Jared” kat. It's weird he doesn't know Jared from God and, yet...can secretly hate his guts, if not shaded by a smidge of jealousy. This Omega had to be too good to be true. Milo doesn't even talk romantically about Adrian—his own Alpha—to most people with those sappy hearts in his eyes. But one word about Jared... _Jared_ ** _this_** _, Jared_ ** _that_**...and then Milo will sound breathless and his eyes will water like he'll sob outright.

Damn...

Chad keeps turning toward the diner's front door as one more patron wanders in, which makes him think this has to be Jared, but there's a woman and two kids meeting up with him. Chad orders another strawberry milkshake, tripling his total straws so he can enjoy more of a berry rush to his brain. He wants to faint into a berry coma, right at _precious_ Jared's feet. He contemplates ordering lunch, hating the hospital food he's been scarfing down. They have no idea what a true American cheeseburger looks or tastes like. It's always no more fresher than a fast food joint who keeps their meat under fucking heat lamps. Chad swipes up the plastic laminated menu, opening the flap to read down the list to “BURGERS”.

 _“If I were you, I'd try the Tex-Mex or the Bacon Ranch.”_ The deep voice speaks over Chad's shoulder, directly into his right ear. _“Always a good way to introduce yourself to a new place, when you don't know what to order. Also, highly recommended.”_

“uhhh...” Chad swivels around to spot the tall giant shadowing over his hunched body.

“Chad, isn't it?”

Chad looks down at the huge hand about to eat his own large hand. “uhm, yeah...an' you hafta be Jared...”

“yup!” Jared slides easily onto a stool, feet planting on the floor as he spins around. “How 'bout we catch an empty booth, then we can think about placing our food orders.”

Chad turns the opposite way, from his right, to slide off his stool, and when he finally has a good look at “Jared” he feels his whole body vibrate, like he's about to choke on a full strawberry that has risen from the depths of his stomach. He should've refused that last milkshake refill. He's never had this type of a bodily reaction to another male before, not even another Omega. Each man who's passed through his life he has had to work at, and put forth effort, toward changing his mind that most of the bastards weren't “good for nothin'”. It had taken him almost two years before he could admit to even liking the other men in his pack. “uhm, sorry. You're something of a myth—a legend. I thought Milo's stories were lame bullshit. Hearing your name out of his mouth...he _really_ loves you, man.” Chad doesn't know why he felt he had to reassure Jared of this, but he went with the flow.

“Yeah...sorry 'bout that.” Jared laughs softly, dipping his head. “Milo's pack...they practically saved my life. To put it plainly. So, I...I've been making it my career to carry on the lessons they've taught me. I pass what I know on to other packs—Purists, Traditionalist and even the New-Freedomers.”

“Wow...you've made it your life's work to do what Milo did for me...for all other Omegas out there?”

“Not just Omegas, but...yes, in a way, I do.”

“What about yourself?”

“I do fine. I've got no complaints.”

“Where's your 'pack'? Milo didn't know if you had—”

“I don't—I haven't been lucky enough to find my own 'pack' yet.”

“Still? I mean, uh...Milo's been mated since he was 16-17, then he said he met you...an' he's been an Omega, with me, in Ackles pack for almost five years...”

Jared shrugs nonchalantly, like the years alone don't matter. “I suck at math.”

“Jared—dude...tha's, like, nearly ten years on your own.”

“All of my siblings are out of the house. Last one left a while ago. My parents lost their Omega this year...”

“Duuude...whatever you do, don't let Jen know any of this stuff.”

“Jen? Who's 'Jen'?”

“Alpha...my Alpha—I mean, lead Alpha. Of our 'pack'. He's the Ackles of Ackles' 'pack'.”

“Oh, okay.” Jared has to shake his head of such confusing banter. “I _think_ I understood what you just said.”

“It's okay. I'm a little flustered and I'm not afraid to let you know you kind of intimidate me. I'm starting to see why Milo talks about you the way that he does.”

“Well, I feel the same way.”

“Dude...god, man...” Chad hates that he has to meet Jared under these kind of circumstances, and that the news he has to tell him isn't very good. “...you've no idea.”

“Are we gonna sit or just stand around and wait until one of us keels over in hunger?”

“I'd love to eat 'cuz it's been days since I've had a decent homemade cheeseburger, but...it's Milo.”

“What about him?”

“He needs you, like...pronto.”

“What, like, uh...is he...he's not, uhm...is he—?”

“He _almost_ died. A lot of blood loss from his pregnancy—the baby started rearranging the womb. He's been in the hospital—almost a week now. Forced bed rest 'cuz the baby...man, I knew I'd do this if I had to tell you...”

“Chad!— _chad_...calm down, huh? Say no more.” Jared takes out cash to cover Chad's milkshake fix. “Jus' take me to him.”

It's like Chad could breathe again, a heavy weight lifted. Jared acted like he already knew what had to be done. He didn't know why, but turning everything over into Jared's capable hands seemed like the best idea ever.

==&&==&&==

Chad had thought he was tall with long legs, but trying to keep up with Jared's strong stride was going to make him pull something, probably a random muscle in his ass he never knew he had.

“Quick! Tell me again...” Jared spins around to face Chad right at the swinging double doors to the Labor & Delivery floor Milo's room was on. “—the Betas? Steve and Sophia?” He looks through his dark bangs into Chad's face. “Milo, Sophia and Adrian—one mated couple...the other is...” Jared closes one eye to stare up at the ceiling. “you, Steve and Chris-uh, Christian? And your lead Alpha at the top is Ackles? Have I got it all now?”

Chad nods his head, impressed since he just gave a record-breaking overview of their pack's dynamic—of course it was with Chad's mode of passing information along, so he may or may not have given away too much information. It's all been a blur for Chad. “Actually, you can call him 'Jensen'—or 'Jen'. He won't bite your head off.”

Jared tilts his head with some self-doubt. “He might change his mind after I do _this_...” He pushes through the left side of the double doors and makes his way toward the Betas.

Chad's not far behind once he realizes he's left Jared alone to end up explaining himself and why he's nosing in their pack business. He almost has to run and put the brakes on before he slams into Jared's back.

“Hi...I'm Jared.” He holds a hand out to Sophia, who takes the offer, then does the same with Steve. “I'm Milo's best friend from childhood.” That's a good enough explanation to say why they've lost touch. “I'm an Omega.” He clears his throat and narrows his eyes on their faces, volleying between them like a tennis match. “I need to ask you two some questions. Is that all right?”

“uh, yeah.” Steve sputters out as he has to crane his neck to the taller young man.

“sure-sure.” Sophia swipes under her smearing mascara, using a tissue this time; she brought them with her instead of using her shirt sleeves. “You're here about Milo?”

Jared simply nods, then tightens his lips before he asks, “Your pack—do you live in an apartment...or a house? And if you live in a house, do you rent, lease or own?” It all seems weird of him to ask, but he needs to know these things because the reasons Milo had asked him to see him will require him to use several rooms and possibly make public too many intimate moments inside of a mated couple or within the pack.

“uhm, jesus...” Sophia's stumped, because she's lived in that house for five years and she isn't the one designated to pay the monthly bills and utilities. Sounds like a dumb excuse, but it's just they way her role has worked out in the pack. Own, I guess. Why do you need to—?”

Jared moves onto the next question. “Do you have a swimming pool? Or a hot tub? Even a Jacuzzi bathtub will do in a pinch.” He knows these sound rather intrusive and random, but he _has_ to know because Milo won't be spending one more minute in this damn hospital. Jared's about to get him discharged and if not, he'll walk his brother Omega out of here AMA [ _against medical advice_ ] while people scream obscenities at him.

“sheesh...” Sophia is a bit embarrassed. She knows the answers to two of the questions, but the last one stumps her; she doesn't even know if her own tub in her bath is a Jacuzzi one. She knows it's big and she loves it to death. “I know what's in Adrian and I's bath—shower and tub. I don't think it's Jacuzzi. No pool or hot tub—sadly.”

Steve furrows his brow in bewilderment, but he's unsure why he and Sophia keep answering this stranger's questions. “We thought about a pool, but there are zoning laws an', uhm...” He closes his eyes, hating the fact that Chad's mode of speech has rubbed off on him. “The largest tub is in Jen's bedroom, but—what are you looking for?”

“hehehe...” Jared pats the both on their outer shoulders. “I's okay. I don't mean to pry so rudely, but I need to know this because Milo's coming back home... _as of right now_.” He turns to the side, pointing toward the closed door to the room they had been standing in front of. He glances around the three faces as if to ask, **_“Is this where Milo is?”_**

They all nod rather mechanically, then think that Jared will continue with his Q & A session. But the Omega just swivels completely around and walks off.

“oh!” Sophia steps back a bit a few inches.

“well...” Steve has a little sly grin on his face.

With two pairs of eyes on Chad, he shrugs his shoulders at them and simply states, “That's _Jared_.”

Like they know who _exactly_ that is.

==&&==&&==

Jared does knock before he enters, but his eyes didn't look anywhere else but toward the bed. He catches Milo's sallow skin and pain-filled eyes. Already, Jared's aware of the toxicity of the hospital atmosphere making Milo sicklier and more depressed. Like the young Omega has given up or he's letting his mind think negative thoughts about his own ability to heal and recover.

“Jared!?!” Milo gasps, sitting upright to be engulfed in long, encompassing arms and held so tightly he playfully fights to find air. His eyes brim with quick tears, his nose sounding stuffy as his emotions get the better of his composure. “—you're _here_. I didn't—they said...Chad.” Milo didn't want to put too much faith in Jared showing up, but deep down inside he knew there was no reason for Jared to refuse him.

Jared lowers the bedside rail after pushing another male pack member out of the way, then he drags off the layers of covers. “Tell them to discharge you home. **Right.Now.** You know this place is what's _really_ making you feel so sick.”

Milo is too weakened to fight, so he simply watches as Jared starts taking all the wires and tubing off his body. “You don't understand. They said the fetus could—”

“I don't give a shit what THEY say, Milo.” Jared keeps his head bowed as he talks rather roughly and succinctly, trying to stress his point. “You know you don't belong here. Every corner of this place, and the rooms down the hall, smell of sickness and death. You know you can get better at home—-you _know_ you can.” What he can't believe is that Milo's pack has just given over the care of one of their own to this medical facility—like they don't believe in their own strengths as a family—as a pack.

Milo lays back on the pillow case, finally able to grab Jared's wrists. “It's too late, man. It's outta our hands. I do what I gotta do or else...” He almost chokes on his overflowing emotions. “...the fetus will die.”

“Stop callin' your 'pup' a 'fetus'.” Jared's never been so agitated in his life; his fingers are fumbling a little, giving away his faked self-confidence. So many little things are irritating him at the moment. He's trying not to let the fact that his brother Omega had almost died and he hadn't been aware he was even carrying a 'pup'. “It's your baby...your 'pup'. This is an extension of your Alpha an' your love for him.” He had allowed his hand to smooth over the slight mound, then drew his fingers upward to make a fist in Milo's gown. “Don't you dare give up when the pup's barely been able to take their first breath.”

Milo leans back against the pillow, shaking his head from left to right. “What can we do—I-I-I've had such nightmares, Jay...an' I jus'...” He puts a shaking hand to his forehead. “I've tried to come up with ways I could...”

Jared reaches out and runs the back of his fingers along Milo's pale cheek. “Tha's why I'm here, _love_...” His deep voice is soothing, much like the voice that soothed him when he was a young cub in childhood. He'll never forget how much that voice in his ear made every ounce of hurt vanish. “—tha's why you knew you needed me...”

The whole room is captivated by the two Omegas. They're so entranced by Jared's resonating baritone that they catch their mouths agape, just staring. They watch how Milo actually purrs and mewls, arching his neck on the pillowcase to allow Jared to run four fingers of his right hand from the crown of Milo's hairline, down his face, over soft eyelashes and along dry, chapped lips craving hydration. The hand cradles the chin and runs down the throat along an Adam's apple to press flat to the collarbone. The palm skims over breastplate to caress the left breast over the erratically beating heart, then eventually one hand becomes two and surrounds the upper mound of belly. Even without skin to skin touch, Jared closes his eyes and delicately frames the five-month pregnancy in his warm palms.

The wide brow covered by dark bangs wrinkles with worry. “He's breech.” Jared ignores the audible gasps behind him. “... and if he shifts again—the wrong way—he'll make himself suffocate on the umbilical chord...”

The shocked faces turn to look at each other, around the room, then watch as Jared swivels to send murky, fuming eyes onto the white-coated professional standing next to the bed. He's not pleased to see the doctor standing there, doing nothing constructive. “You're his doctor?”

“Yes.” The voice is tight, holding some fear inside as the body tenses.

“Bring me the x-rays.” Jared can feel the fear, scent the fear, as well. “ **Now.** _Please_.” It's not desperate, but it's not stated without determination to get what he wants.

The doctor looks over Jared to another's face and gets the actual permission he needs to fill the Omega's request.

Jared doesn't see much in the room, _only_ Milo. His main focus will be on mother and 'pup'. He smiles, glancing at his brother Omega. “ _He_ 's strong... _his_ heartbeat is strong and steady...” He has to swallow down his emotions when he feels Milo grab onto both of his hands. Jared can't think of Milo as family or even his best friend—only as a fellow Omega in need of his special services. He doesn't like chewing on his feelings to make sure he remains a professional in the public eye, keeping clinical and precise so no one thinks he's a certifiable quack.

Milo instinctively adjusts his legs on the mattress, spreading his thighs apart. He has been wearing two hospital issued gowns—one wrapped from the front, the other from the back—and underneath those he has on a tight, low-riding pair of boxer-briefs. Ones that didn't hit his belly, but covered his junk.

Jared knows what Milo just did with his legs is an open invitation from an Omega to another Omega to “ _please touch_ ”... _caress_... _spread love and affection to the 'pup'_... _share in my own joy and bliss_. Jared doesn't touch the dark-haired thighs as he moves beneath the bottom hem of the gowns to palm the under-belly and almost jolts—which sends everyone in the room backward a few steps. Then Jared nearly belts out a genuine giggle, but just chuckles under-breath.

“I like _him_.” Jared begins to knead, then spreads his hands outward from the belly-button. “ _He_ misses you.” He frowns with a tilt to his head as if he hears a tiny voice. He glances into Milo's face with some curiosity. “Did you used to sing to him, or, uhm...read books into your belly? At night? During the day?”

Milo averts his gaze to connect with Chad, then darts to Sophia, Jensen and Steve's collective intense gazes, sharing in some utter shock and sadness that Jared was able to pick up on what they had done as a pack to the 'pup'...simply as a joke.

It's then that Jared finally realizes there are other people in the room. “ _oh, uh... hi...sorry..._ ” He looks down at the way it appears with his hands stuck under Milo's gown, still massaging. “My deepest apologies for barging in here, but...” Jared slips a glance toward Milo from the side of his eyes. “I think you are already aware of how special your Omega is...made even more so because he's about to bring in the next 'pup' in the Ackles' pack.” He softly pats the belly, leaning over to rest his cheek on the roundness, then turns his head to press his mouth on the cotton-covered mound. He vibrated his lips before he kisses, then crawls upward by his knuckles on the mattress along Milo's body until he looms above his brother Omega.

They're quite a contrast of colors and appearances: one dark, the other darker...one pale skinned, the other slightly tanned...one thin and tall, the other huge and tall. They're both Omegas, but neither has ever acted as if that's who they are. Milo smirks his trademark one-sided grin, Jared smiles his trademark wide-grin that takes over his face and shows his deep-set dimples. They brush noses as Jared slides his nosetip up and down the thin bridge of Milo's nose. He presses a light kiss to each of Milo's closed lids, then trails down to kiss the parted mouth chastely. He pulls back a few inches, bracing his right arm on the bed on the other side of Milo's body, then playfully bonks Milo on the tip of his nose.

“... _silly, silly Omega_...”

Milo keeps twisting his head and body toward Jared, like he's searching and craving his touch...his affections. He's had a mere taste, but now he wants the sensations constantly.

Already, Chad can see what kind of “magic” this _Jared_ has wielded. Milo's skin is flush, his breathing is even and calm and he appears restful and less jittery.

Jared will not deny Milo the need to meld and shape his body to his own. In fact, he likes this part of the sessions the most with pregnant Omegas, feeling the “puppy bump” brush his body. He also doesn't refuse to let at least one of his own hands touch or caress an Omega's body. He thinks he needs to explain to the pack members looking at him rather shocked and awed, letting them know what was going on with their Omega.

“See... _mother_ is less tense, relaxed enough to let feelings and emotions roll through. _Mother_ needs the affections and love felt for the 'pup'. It's a bit like self-containing a firecracker. _Mother_ needs to expel energy or it turns against the Omega. They feel neglect...unloved...unwanted. Then the 'pup'—connected to its _mother_ —can't help but try to thrive off that negative energy or feeling...”

Chad steps up to the bedframe, coming along the other side of Milo where Jared wasn't sitting. “He's okay now, though, right? He'll get better from now on?” Jared has removed his right arm, letting Chad move into the empty space so Milo can rub and brush against Chad's body. It's imperative that the Omegas in the same pack become familiar with one another so they can help each other during these times in an Omega's life.

“No, but he's on his way. I'm afraid in some cases like Milo's, it's round-the-clock attention until the 'pup' is in the clear. _He_ 's scared now, too, feeling the same fears _mother_ does...which is why Milo needs you—his brother Omega.” Jared lifts his head to look at the other three pack members in the room. He knows Steve and Sophia, but the taller dark-blond one with green eyes...well, for all Jared knew that was Milo's Alpha, “Adrian”. The guy didn't carry himself like a leader of anyone's pack. He's not been aware he's been talking down to the lead Alpha all this time, pushing his way around. “He'll need you all, as well, but ideally, if your pack were larger—like Milo's old pack—then you would use every single Omega available to share their love and affections with him. No disrespect, but an Omega will know _exactly_ what another Omega needs, sometimes even before that Omegas does.”

By now the door opens again, the doctor returning with several pieces of x-ray film. He goes over to the blank wall where the back-lighted box is located so he can hold up the x-rays and give off his diagnosis.

Jared rubs over Milo's belly, kisses his cheek and gets up to stand behind the obstetrician. He hasn't even noticed the man who follows his sure-footed steps, then the way he leans on the end of the footboard to watch what unfurls as Jared talks with the doctor.

At first, Jared places a hand on the shorter man's shoulder. “I want to make a sincere apology to you, Sir. I didn't mean to undermine everything you've done to bring Milo back from the terrible place he fell into, but...I think you understand that a pack takes care of _their_ own and—well, it's not _my_ place, but it's been from my own experience that Milo will thrive best if he's home. I can assure you he _will_ remain on bed-rest, but...you need to understand he needs to be within his pack—with his Alpha and his Beta...the Omegas. He needs them like they will need him. It's no slight to you, Sir. It's only the life we're born into.”

The doctor is stunned by the eloquent apology that sounds like a slight slap to his face for being a human doctor trying to take care of an Omega, but he warmly accepts the apology because he can't help but feel it was genuinely given to him. “no-no...no need to apologize. I don't think I can do much else for Milo except to sedate him and try to alleviate any pain if the baby decides to shift again.” He crosses his arms over his chest, grabbing onto his biceps. “It's too early to even fathom a need to deliver the 'pup' by C-section, trying to see if it can survive in an incubator. That would be our _very last_ resort.”

Jared will make damn-sure that neither Milo or the 'pup' sees the inside of this hospital again. “I can promise you, Sir, once Milo is back home, in his own bed, the next call you'll receive will be to deliver this same 'pup' at full-term.”

The doctor is a bit flabbergasted by Jared's words, simply because of the dangerous predicament that brought this patient into his care. He's never seen a breech birth right itself on its own. “I would _love_ for that to be true.”

“It will be. _It_ ** _will_** _be_.” Jared settles his arms behind his body, turning toward the doctor to listen closely to the description of what he can see in each of the x-rays he's looking directly at.

Earlier in the week, Jensen had already heard a lot of what the doctor was telling Jared. What stuns him is the smart questions Jared's asking—ones Jensen hadn't even thought of. Jared had to have known some of this and simply wanted to see if he and the doctor's results were alike. Jensen can detect a little smugness in Jared's tone. He _likes_ it. In fact, Jensen has liked every second he's spent time in Jared's presence—except for the first initial greeting where Jared shoved him away from Milo's bedside. Jensen finds he doesn't even have to speak to Jared, knowing the Omega was in the room felt like enough.

After years of having such visceral reactions to the kind of power male Omegas have on him, Jensen discovers he's instantly content and reassured that he's not alone, that he doesn't have to suffer needlessly and weigh himself down with 'pack' troubles. He's used to Omegas that attract him to where he fumes inside—deep-down inside—where he's had to tame himself to a forced calm in order to take the role of lead Alpha...so no one can know his darkest desire is to mate with only an Omega. He refuses to be mated with an Omega who is weak and unworthy of the place beside him; it's going to take a truly special male Omega to fill that coveted role.

Jensen loves being here for his pack, loves that they rely on him to shoulder burdens, but this was a moment where Jensen had no answers to give, no quick fixes or a simple remedy. He knows if he hadn't delegated his pack being in the right frame of mind for this type of tragedy—such melancholy and sadness overwhelming him—losing Milo would have trickled upward to eventually suffocate Jensen. Losing the 'pup' would've shattered them all completely. He never wants to think about what would be unleashed if Milo was the one they had lost...

The doctor has gathered his x-rays and tells Jared he'll leave to start work on drawing up Milo's discharge orders and finishing off his medical chart, so he can go home in the next hour or so. Everything, of course, had been “OK'd” in secret by Jensen, who has still remained just “one of the pack” to Jared's knowledge.

Jensen watches Jared closely as he swivels from the back-lit x-ray box, which has now been switched off, and shifts to eye Steve, Sophia and Chad huddled around Milo ON his bed. For a second, Milo flinches, only because he's not used to such intimacy from his pack members, but he welcomes the touch and caresses after a few minutes. Jensen swears Jared bounces off his feet, wishing he could get back to that erotic business of touching his brother Omega. It all seems rather embarrassing, seeing the action done in public that looks like it should be done in the intimacy of a bedroom or behind a closed door, but Jensen can't deny it seems to have been what Milo needed. Milo has gained his color back and his eyes weren't so bloodshot, the bags under them melting away as the minutes ticked on by.

“The Omega Circle.” Jensen states, trying to snag Jared's rapt attention on what's happening on the crowded hospital bed.

“ _Excuse me_?”

  
==&&==&&==   
**TBC...**


	4. Chapter 4

 

Jared is finding it difficult to look away from Milo. But when he tears his gaze away, he connects with these fierce green eyes that cause him to go still, blushing slightly. “uhm...a little bit.” He's stunned that someone knows about Omega culture that he can't scent as a “brother”. “Not the whole ceremony, because—hello—public hospital.” Jared coughs into his hand, clearing his clogged throat. “If I was able, I'd do it at home—well, Milo's home...the pack's, uh, home...yours...” His voice dies off at the end pronoun, not sure exactly who this gorgeous guy is or who he belongs to. Jared stares down at his shoes, rubbing two fingers over his brow. “Sorry. It's really difficult to get out of focus from a session and not feel like my tongue doesn't work, and my brain's gone to mush.” Yeah, that's as good of an excuse he can give for being flustered around a hot, sexy Alpha [ or Beta ].

“You're good with him.” Jensen turns to hook his left leg up along the footboard ledge; he tangles his fingers to rest the bond of his hands on the top of his left thigh. “You seem like you know how to birth a 'pup', but you know best how to deal with expectant mothers.”

“Everything.” Jared chokes on the word, hearing his voice crack in the center.

“Pardon?”

“I know _everything_ —about Omegas. From heats to breeding, to conception, to duration of pregnancy and then to final birth.”Jared loosely surrounds his arms around his body, grabbing his elbows. “I'm just now branching out to include, uhm...deaths—well, grieving. For the pack. So, you can say I've been through it all.”

“Really?” Jensen furrows his brow in confusion. “The Omega Circle has _that_ far of a reach?”

“No—uhm...I don't know, but _Jared's_ Circle does.”

Jensen breaks out in bold, outright laughter at that as he scratches his stubbled cheek. “That's cute.” He clears his throat, letting out tiny chuckles as he lets the word, and the Omega, run through his thoughts. “Do you...is there a formal service I call?” If he talks when he feels any ounce of nervousness, Jensen uses his hands, often touching his chest and clamping his hands together. “Or do I just...try to reach you if you have a card?” Basically, he's trying to ask Jared to stay, to come home with Milo.

“uh...why are you?—what would you—?” Jared wrinkles his brow in honest bewilderment.

“Is there any way I can persuade you to come home with Milo—stay as long as he needs you?” Jensen slides off the footboard, letting his shoe plop on the tiled floor—and apparently his leg just went completely numb of quick blood loss. He can't move for fear of falling over, so he uses the footboard to balance himself, trying to look cool and suave. “You'll be fully compensated since we called you out of the blue...” Jensen begins to frown as he notices Jared is fidgeting, rubbing at the back of his nape as if he's biting his tongue. “Go ahead.” He can't help but smirk; he likes Jared's feisty-ness. He thinks he's about to get a taste of it.

Jared can't even look at Jensen. “It's Milo.” He lifts his head, but keeps that hand cupped around his neck, his arm bent against his upper chest. “He's like a brother to me. In fact, he's the _only_ brother I've ever gotten close to.” For some odd reason, Jared begins to invade Jensen's personal space, almost going shoe tip to shoe tip with him. “He's a fellow Omega and we've been through enough unmated heats together to bond us beyond what any other member of your pack has gone through.” He hasn't quite butted chests with Jensen, but he's coming close. “He was mine before he came to you. When your pack is no longer around...he'll still be mine...”

“Jared!” Milo's been able to overhear every word Jared says. “...no, man...c'mon...c'mere...” He tries to push the people on the bed out of his way to grab for Jared.

Jensen watches Jared take a moment to curl into himself—like he blew off steam, and now he's ready to cower away.

“Sorry. I might need some fresh air.” Jared attempts to bolt from the room, but Jensen puts one of his steel-toed boots in front of his path, then latches onto Jared's right arm at the bend of the elbow to hold him steady.

Both men's chests are heaving in equally heated emotional states, for the same Omega, but for very different reasons.

“Alpha!—don't... _please_...Jared...Jensen, he doesn't mean...”

At that very minute, Jensen can see when it dawns on Jared _who_ he actually is—the look on the Omega's face was a bit painful to watch unfold. Jensen immediately wanted to retract his body, remove his hand from Jared's arm in his grip. “ **Don't** _.Fuss._ **Calm** _.Down._ ” He has tried to tame unruly cubs before, but none as huge and massive, or as serenely beautiful, as this Omega. “I didn't mean what I said as an insult.” Jensen sees the chin bow to chest, the dark brown bangs hiding those fire-lit hazel eyes.

“—'m sorry, Alpha...” Jared wants to turn away, simply needing to leave so he can breathe again.

“ _hey-hey-hey..._ ” Chad feels the need to step in, just to give back a bit of respect he thinks he owes Jared. “I got _this_ , Jen. C'mon, man.” He clamps a hand on Jared's back. “I'll take you to the smoking section outside. They got some pretty scenery and plenty sturdy benches to sit on, away from the actual smokers—you can relax and take in as much fresh air as you want. Come on.” Chad is begging with his eyes for Jensen to allow them to pass. He wants Jensen to know he was beginning to upset Milo.

Finally, Jensen moves backward, but only a bit—he and Jared's arms brush—and the two young Omegas shuffle out, huddled side by side. Jensen never lets his eyes go anywhere but on their hunched backs, even as they turn outside the door and disappear down the hall. When he can't see them any longer, Jensen glances at Steve and Sophia, shaking his head in exasperation. “What...in the hell...was _that_?!”

“That, apparently,” Sophia proclaims, “is _Jared_.”

Milo hears them laugh nervously, but he keeps his mouth shut. Jared is special. He was—it's difficult to sum up what exactly it feels like to care for Jared. He knows it's not easy to get to know someone in one sitting.

Jared still carries old wounds around with him, unable to shed them as he keeps distancing himself from ever becoming part of his own pack. Instead, he survives by living off other packs' lives—there for a purpose, never to stay long. Once he serves his use, he packs and moves on to the next family.

Jared had kept grumbling to Milo he was easily malleable when it came to an Alpha he was attracted to. Milo knew Jared was rigid in his preference of giving his heart away only once—some weird promise he made to someone long ago. It was why Jared holed away at his parents, pretending they needed him to take care of them, when they were both perfectly healthy. Point being, no one knew the truth, not even Milo.

Jared still suffers in silence, often alone and still locking himself away in his bedroom—this time the converted basement with his own separate entrance to come and go as he pleased. It would be nothing for Jared to offer himself to other Omegas, getting them through their rough patches and along their journeys to make sure they were content, safe and happy.

God forbid Jared think he deserved a slice of his own blissful happiness.

==&&==&&==

When Jared and Chad return, Jared is back to being that strong and silent, confident giant of an Omega. He perks up when he sees Milo dressed and sitting on the side of the bed. He walks over, engulfs Milo in his arms, then playfully dips him over the mattress, so he can get one arm around the broad shoulders, then his other arm under bent knees.

“Jared... _wait!_ We got the wheelchair. He's supposed to be taken out in a wheelchair.”

Jared looks down at the nurse who holds the wheelchair. “She can follow me to the car, if she wants.” He feels Milo pat his upper chest, trying to silently tell him to behave and be nice. “I'm not putting him down until I feel it's safe.”

Every head turns to Jensen, who quietly gives permission. They pile Milo's things in the wheelchair and a line of Ackles' pack members follow behind Jared who carries Milo like he's a damsel in distress. Strange how Milo's reached a point where he wants to milk the moment, securing his arm around Jared's neck, even twirling his fingers in the long lengths of mahogany hair, and every so often he'll bury his face in the side of Jared's neck. Of course people stare, a few laughed, but there were some who were rather envious and others who thought the offer of being carried out of a hospital after a shitty stay was sweet and sad. Milo keeps a protective arm across his 'puppy bump', just in case, but more because he's finally back to feeling ecstatically happy again, more positive about this being only a small hurdle they've managed to jump over.

As if it strikes Milo that his pack feels incomplete, he looks over Jared's shoulder toward everyone and asks, “Do Adrian and Christian know I'm on my way home?”

Four Ackles' pack members, including Jensen, pull out their cell phones and they try to see who can text each man the fastest to _“meet @ the house. there's a surprise waiting 4 you”._

==&&==&&==

Jensen is impressed by Jared's unwavering strength, because trying to hold a pregnant Milo—for just a few minutes—while Jared climbs into the SUV to clear off the soft leather of the middle bench-seat, is proving to him he needs to head back to the gym. Milo grabs the overhead bar, jumping high in mid-air to place his ass on the leather seat, then Jared drags Milo the rest of the way over. Jared sits down in the seat behind driver's area, using his jacket to pillow Milo's head, then he directs Milo to lay facing out, his back against the cushion with his legs bent and pulled to his chest.

Chad has crawled into the _back_ -backseat, sitting by himself, and Sophia takes the other end of the middle seat with Milo's feet settling on her thighs. Steve climbed into the passenger seat, while Jensen became the driver. He would've tossed the keys to Steve, because he dreads having to look at Jared's dejected face in his rearview mirror—even sitting idle with the engine running as he adjusts everything to his driving level, has caused his psyche to freak out.

He's never been this emotionally attached to anyone, not even any of the Omegas he's bedded or the Betas he thought were perfect mates. He doesn't know why he feels guilt for making Jared think he should take money for coming to the aide of his brother Omega, but he _does_. Jensen truly hadn't meant any disrespect, but it pains him that he's killed any shot he ever thought he had of talking to Jared without there being a line drawn between them.

==&&==&&==

Jared feels the pang of loss almost as heavy as disrespecting his mother Omega, but at least this time the hurt hadn't cut too deeply. Once again, he let his assumptions about people cause him to make a grand mistake that ended up biting him in the ass. He can't believe how he had treated the lead Alpha of the Ackles pack. No wonder he never feels like he “fits” in any family, because he blurs the line too much. Talking down to a lead Alpha was tantamount to doing him some type of physical harm. Jared had equated Jensen to a secondary Alpha or a Beta, but certainly not an Omega. Then his snobbery had set in, thinking he knew how best to care for, and coddle, expectant mother Omegas.

He glances down at Milo asleep in his lap, happy to have his brother Omega in his life again. He missed him, greatly. He missed a lot with Milo. Jared's happier at being here for the duration of Milo's pregnancy, then the eventual birth. After that, Jared knows he has to move on. If Milo would ask him to stay until the 'pup' was sufficiently weened that would be ideal—more time to spend with Milo and his pack. But Jared did have a life to get back to and a career of giving service to Omegas and other pack members in their hour of need.

The car ride to the pack's home is quiet, until Steve turns on the radio and the local station they always listen to begins to play a very familiar track.

Jared listens to the hoots and hollers of every pack member—even sleepy Milo. He sees the way Steve beams and feels how Chad almost shakes his broad shoulders out of alignment from the backseat. Jared glances down at Milo. “Am I missin' _something_?” He didn't recognize the name of the artist—KANE—and he surely doesn't recall the voice that's singing through the speakers at the moment.

Milo blinks slowly, his own grin building. “Tha's Christian Kane—Chad and Steve's Alpha...better known as KANE. It's his first track off his new CD.” He snuggles down deeper into Jared's jacket. “wow...I can't believe they played it at a decent hour.”

“No. Didn't you _hear_ him?” Sophia taps Milo's ankle. “He said he'd been getting' calls to replay the track from the early show. That means, Mi'o...they've played it twice today!” She does a tiny dance where she sits.

Jared ends up squeezing his eyes shut, wishing he could plug his ears as the entire cab of the SUV breaks out in familiar lyrics, singing along with their pack member. What stuns him is that half of them are decent warblers, even when yelling to a rockabilly beat.

Jensen turns into a wide paved driveway, someone already had left the front gate wide open. He drives around half of the semi-circled drive to meet up with the screaming banshee of a short-stacked cowboy.

“ ** _Holy mother of God!_** ”

Jensen stops abruptly at the incline because he doesn't want to run over his best friend and brother Alpha.

“I got him.” Steve is already out of the SUV murmuring, “ _crazy-ass mother fucker!_ ” He slams the door then barrels into Christian, lifting him off the ground to carry him out of harm's way.

Christian has donned his worn, cracked straw Stetson, starting to whoop and holler in mid-air, like Steve is some bucking bronco.

Jared thinks he'll stay inside the vehicle until sanity arrives to help him out.

Sophia climbs out backwards, running over to then jump on Christian's back as if she were a tree-climbing monkey. And Chad slowly oozes out, wandering over to the pack, his chest puffs out like plumes on a peacock.

Through the open doors and shaded windows, Jared watches the Ackles pack hug and climb all over each other...so happy for one of their own. He's a little envious, keeping his usual smile behind his hand as he stares on quietly.

Christian swings Sophia around by her waist. “I git to take my girl out dancin'!” He never stops, until he clamps a hand on Steve's shoulder, then down his bulky arm and finally across the wide expanse of back. It's clear they're a mated couple—Alpha and Beta.

As Chad has made his way over, shit-eating grin on his face, he holds out his shirt collar as if he's P. Diddy and Christian is his new-up-and-coming artist. “What'd I tell ya', Kane?! Stick with me...I'd take ya' higher.”

“Baby...” Christian cups his hands around Chad's face. “I'll never doubt you again.” He lifts Chad, higher than Chad knew he could, then lets their bodies slide together as he plants him back to Earth. Christian bends inward to nuzzle Chad's neck, growling and then drapes his arms around Chad's neck tight. “ _thankyou, man-thankyou, man_ ” It was clear it meant the world to Christian; Chad allows his Alpha to act the way he needs, simply holding on just as tight.

Jensen finally climbs down from the cab, yelling over the hood. “Don't forget us little people when you're rich and famous, asshole!”

Christian quickly spins around, wide grin on his rugged face. “I'm a fuckin' radio-played rockstar, bro! I'm already famous in my eyes!”

Jared opens his door to let fresh air in, waiting for someone to return to help him carry Milo inside the house. He allows them to carry on; his main focus is still Milo. The pack deserves their moment of joy. Right at the passenger door, to Jared's right, stands a casually dressed executive-type Alpha. “oh, sorry...hello...” He never even heard the man approach, but his eyes are glued to Milo. This _has_ to be Milo's Alpha, Adrian.

Adrian lifts weary, bloodshot eyes to Jared's face. “You must be Jared.”

“Yes, I am.” Jared hesitates in his speech pattern, speaking low and slowly. He scents a severely wounded Alpha and he's cautious not to stir him or make him enraged.

Milo starts to roll over, his gaze locking on his Alpha; his nose has picked up the all-too familiar scent. “ _oh.my.god..._ ”

“hey, babe...i's me.” Adrian hefts himself into the SUV, taking Sophia's old spot on the leather seat.

Milo springs upright, drawing his legs in so he can crawl on knees toward his Alpha. “God, I miss'd you.” He practically drapes his body over Adrian, taking over his lap.

“yeah? Well, you _scared_ me.” Adrian nuzzles the dark hair, nipping at the pale neck. He inhales the musky odor of his mated Omega. “man, I miss'd your scent.”

Milo starts to nudge Adrian's face, tempting the open mouth to kiss him as he loosens a few buttons of Adrian's shirt.

Adrian will gladly let Milo have his way with his body, but he knows this shouldn't be happening in their main family car. “What's he doin', Jared?”

Jared has bent his arm at the elbow, resting his head on his hand as he observes his brother Omega and his mated Alpha. “He needs you, but not in the ways you think.”

“An', uhm...that would be 'sex', right?” Adrian attempts to dodge Milo's lips, but it's not easy.

Jared gives out a tiny smile. It's clear Adrian is another Alpha-type that isn't like all the others. There's a lightness to his mode of talking, he hears what's said, but he's unable to focus directly because of his deep love and affection for his Omega. “He needs you intimately, but it doesn't have to be penetrative to orgasm.”

Adrian closes his eyes, arcing his neck on the bench-seat as he lets Milo have a sliver of his throat to lick and nip at. “gah!...whatever you just said was kind of hot.” He's been without Milo and the constant worrying has about made him keenly aware of how much his Omega matters in his life.

Jared chuckles, liking Milo's Alpha. He enjoys the dynamic he sees—how weakened Adrian was for Milo. Jared pays close attention to Adrian's hands, how they tighten into fists to not grab hard or play too roughly, but then how the fingers end up sliding open from the palm to caress the belly mound, as if to include their “pup” in this reunion. “Help me get him out an' I'll carry him into the house for you.” Jared notices that Adrian is going to need some privacy to coerce Milo to lay back down. Jared drops down to the driveway to walk around his open door and search for Jensen. He's partway down the wheelbase, looking across the hood, when he clears his throat, wiping his sweaty palms on his clothing. “Alpha!!”

Both Jensen and Christian turn their heads. Somehow Jensen knows it's meant for him. He breaks off from his pack's pow-wow on how they might celebrate Christian's track getting air-play and Milo's homecoming as one event. Jensen leaves his pack members to the minor details.

Jensen realizes that Jared has stopped moving, forcing him to have to walk over. He comes around the passenger wheelbase to then take a spot leaning against the front bumper. “You can call me 'Jensen', Jared.”

 

Jared moves into a similar position of leaning his back along the hood front, keeping his head bowed, eyes downcast. “Your Betas mentioned that you have a Jacuzzi tub in your bath.” He periodically glances from the side of his eyes at Jensen.

“Yes.” Jensen clamors to think of a reason why Jared would need to know this. “Why?”

“I need it. Well, I need to use it for Milo.” Jared does lift his head, but he's staring straight ahead. He wants to still appear like he's in control, but he'll distance himself from the lead Alpha. “How big is the tub?” Jared's here only for Milo.

“Oh, I don't know. I rarely use it, unless— _never mind._ ” Jensen doesn't think Jared needs a quick overview of his sexual exploits. “I use the shower mostly, so the tub is all yours.”

Jared nods his head, giving a silent “thank you” gesture, then pushes off the bodywork with one hand. “I'm going to bring Milo in and put him in your bedroom.” He's now turned to face Jensen, but he hasn't dared to lift his head to connect eyes.

“Okay.” Jensen feels like there's sections of this conversation missing. He can already tell he's ruined any opportunity of a second chance with this Omega. But Jensen can't understand why he won't back-off, Jensen still feels like he wants to keep trying. “You know you don't have to keep carrying him like he's some delicate flower. We have the wheelchair. He can get around.”

“So...” Jared wrinkles his forehead, scratching at his head. “where is your bedroom again? On the first floor?”

“No. No, it's not.” Jensen rolls his eyes, having been caught in a lame attempt to engage Jared into more conversation. Or at least being able to help him out, to be around him more. “Okay, you made your point. I jus'...if you get tired, at some point, let us help you.” Jensen extends his arm, after turning to his side to lean on the SUV to face Jared, so he can balance his body, but also tempt the Omega with his hand being near, to maybe touch. “We may not be built like Mr. Universe like you, but we all wanna help where we can.” He notices that Jared takes the humor in stride, even stares at how close their hands are to touching, but he says and does nothing to reject Jensen or change the eventual outcome.

“Thanks, Alph—Jen-sen...” Jared does an about-face and slowly walks around his door to find Milo detached from Adrian.

Milo almost jumps into Jared's arms. “I love you, man.”

“Love you, too, Milo...” Jared had needed this type of admission and instant comfort. He's one of those Omegas that truly does get something from the little things he does for people and the things they do for him, out of the blue. “I do need to breathe, though, bro.” He fake struggles to breathe, simply to be able to shift Milo's body against his chest.

“oh, sorry.”

“I's okay.” Jared is able to shut his door, with one hand, meeting Adrian at the front bumper of the SUV. “I need you to show me where Jensen's bedroom is.”

Adrian nods his head, giving a small caress to Milo's cheek. “Follow me, then.”

Jensen decides he'll take a leisurely stroll behind the trio. He has to secretly admit he likes how Jared carries himself: the steady stride, the calm strength in the long legs and the way that ass sits high, tight and perfectly round. Jensen lets his gaze ride up the expanse of back and over the broad shoulders. He admires the muscular biceps and tapered forearms. But those hands... _dear God_ , those hands are going to be the death of Jensen. Having watched them earlier, as Jared touched and caressed Milo, Jensen found himself a new fetish—found he wouldn't mind those hands doing things to him in the most naughty of ways.

Before he knows it, Jensen bumps into Adrian's back. “ _oh, shit!_ Sorry, man.”

They've made it into the house now and Adrian has waited a second or two, after showing Jared the staircase and then telling him the rest of the instructions of where Jensen's bedroom was located. “Jen...” He cleared his throat, having tucked his fists into his trouser pockets. His shoulder butts Jensen's chest wall. “if you want in on this thing, just ask him. Don't creep around like a creepy creeper.”

Jensen knows he's a bit too involved in things with his pack, but he likes to stay informed. He doesn't like surprises. “He's gonna tell me 'no'.” He also knows that he has to tread lightly when it comes to Jared or he'll get another reaction that may chase Jared away completely. Jensen can't tell Adrian that this soon, not before knowing in his own mind that this an Omega that will welcome his pursuit.

“ _You're Alpha._ ” Adrian's never known Jensen to back down from anyone. “This is _your_ pack.” He's taken out of one of his fists and slams it gently against Jensen's mid-chest. “Fuckin' demand to be present.”

Jensen playfully dodges the fist, only because he's been lulled before by Adrian and gotten one of his nipples twisted. “Do you even know _what_ he wants you to do with Milo?” He can't believe Adrian would blindly accept whatever an Omega requests of him, especially pertaining to Milo. Jensen never knew that Adrian had this much of a soft spot for all Omegas; he simply thought Adrian was weak for his own Omega. It could be that Milo and Jared were like “brothers” and Adrian is simply being respectful of Milo's family. If so, Jensen admires his brother Alpha even more.

“Come on, I know you're not _this_ dumb.” Adrian's fist has risen to punch softly on Jensen's shoulder, but it goes no further than back into his pocket. “I figure it's something like what my mother Omega did for the others in her pack. Wha's it called...like the circle of _something_...” He furrowed his brow to try and think back to his childhood.

“It's called the _Omega Circle_.” Jensen takes a quick look toward the staircase, seeing that Jared and Milo are long gone by now. He turns his gaze back to Adrian. “So you know about this stuff too?”

“Sure. It's kind of...” Adrian smooths one hand over his chest, just now feeling the fact that his shirt is still unbuttoned from when Milo jumped on him in the SUV. He clears his throat to play off that he meant to look this disheveled and unkempt. “It's why I am the way I am with my Omega. I was able to sit in on one or two of his heats, before we mated.”

Jensen is momentarily disquieted, and stunned. “They let an _outside_ Alpha watch an Omega go into heat?”

“Dude...you gotta watch it as a spectator.” Adrian shakes his head, with a wry lift to his mouth. “It's a beautiful thing. The ceremony. I learned how to BE with my Omega.” He elbows Jensen in the side of his rib cage. “Like getting a cheat sheet for an unannounced pop quiz.”

Jensen shakes his head, quelling his laughter. “Milo's pack...sounds purist but...”

“They're traditionalist but they're 'poly'...” Adrian waits a beat or two so Jensen can let that nugget of information sit on his brain.

“You mean—?” Jensen has been to many different pack homes, so he does know the word “poly” but it can mean several connotations.

“What I mean is... if they wanted, Alphas could bed-down with any Omega they wanted at any time.” Adrian shrugs his shoulders. “If it resulted in a pregnancy, they cared for the 'pups' no matter who bred them. The lead Alpha had his own personal Omega, who was Queen mother-like. She led the ceremonies and rituals. Milo had a rather open family, a little traditional and purist with a dash of polyamorous thrown in because shit wasn't weird enough.”

Jensen understands that polyamorous meant that several pack members slept with one another—threesomes, foursomes and even orgies. Most in this type of pack ritual didn't copulate for the chance to breed more; that type of “poly” was bordering on the American “polygamy” standard or the less typical “polyandrous”. Jensen lifted his eyebrow in curiosity. “Your pack still wanted you to mate with Milo?” He figures maybe he should be the one to start walking ahead of Adrian, or else the Alpha will talk his ear off downstairs while his Omega waits for him to show. Adrian was a intensely reserved Alpha who didn't talk much about anything, unless he knew a person well or was comfortable around them. Once he got going, especially talking about a topic he had interest in or found fascinating, he couldn't be poked with a stick to move.

Adrian slowly walks up the stairs behind Jensen as they talk—well, as he reveals. “Milo wasn't like his siblings—most became Beta, a few were Alpha. Once he was found to be Omega, they treated him like he was made of glass. They were three steps ahead of him for each heat cycle and let him sit-in on several home births and breedings. None of them were afraid to show him exactly who he would become.”

Jensen stops at the top and spins around to face Adrian. “ _jesus_...even in my travels with my father to different packs, I never knew one to be that raw and pure with their Omegas.” He waits for Adrian to reach him so they can walk side by side down the hallway. “I do like that they treasure them, but...I don't know if I agree with the taking of another Alpha's Omega, right under their nose.”

Adrian grabs onto the post at the top and hops up one step to land beside Jensen. “Hey, it worked for them, just like what we have works for us.” He leans into his brother Alpha as he walks alongside Jensen on the way to the bedroom.

“So Milo can do exactly what Jared does?”

“I think so, but I don't really know. Milo doesn't use any of what he knows with me. He's already got me wrapped around his finger.” Adrian lifts one side of his mouth in a quirky grin. He stops before he reaches the double doors that signify it's Jensen's master suite. He doesn't want either Omega to hear what he has to say. “Milo loves Jared, adores him, and will praise him but doesn't delve deeper. I only know about the Omega Circle because I was in on a few sessions. It's really powerful and... _fuck_ that—it _actually_ works. If this helps, protects Milo and our 'pup', hell...Jared can participate in _anything_ he wants between us.”

“I'm only curious, Adrian. Just _curious_.”Jensen put his hands out in his own defense. “I want to know how _this_ works. I'm fascinated by what I've seen already.”

“Then join us.” Adrian motions with his head for Jensen to simply walk into the bedroom—his own damn bedroom—with him and let Jared try to throw him out. “I don't think Jared would kick you out.” Or at least he won't do it right at the start, maybe once Jensen starts to get agitated by all the...sensitive feelings and emotions being revealed. Adrian liked that Jensen wanted to observe, but he doubted his lead Alpha was ready for what he might bear witness to.

Jensen hung his head, taking a hesitant look toward his own bedroom doorway; the left side was partly open, the right was shut closed. “yeah, I know, but he doesn't exactly look me in the eye either.”

“Give him time, man.” Adrian reached out to squeeze Jensen's biceps, then he lets his hand raise and slide along the side of Jensen's neck. “It's gotta be jarring for him. Not to have seen Milo, then thrust into our pack life with news Milo and his baby could've been—” He tightens his hold on Jensen, not meaning to cause him harm.

Jensen feels the beefy hand clamp around his neck muscles, but he latches his own hand over the wrist in reassurance, then shifts their positions to wrap an arm around Adrian's hunched shoulders. “ _I know-I know_.” He doesn't know why but he feels like he needs to hold Adrian to his body. It's an awkward angle and it's only with one arm, but his brother Alpha takes the sentiment. Jensen leans his face against Adrian's brow. “It hurts to even admit how we could've been grieving over both—maybe _one_ of them.”

“ _Fuck!”_ Adrian knows how demeaning this has to be for Jensen, that he can be rather clumsy in these situations where he needs to comfort and console; he's getting better, though. Too many years as a lead Alpha and too many without being mated. He can't wait for the day Jensen finally finds his “one true mate”, so he can learn to tame his brash and rough side into a fine polish. Adrian nudges his head with Jensen's, letting him know he's taking this attempt at comfort to heart. _“_ I don't even like playing 'what ifs' anymore. I'd be deeply saddened about losing the 'pup', but...Milo?...I'd be inconsolable. A certifiable mess.”

“You love him. It's understandable.” This is a pat answer Jensen has given for the last few days. He isn't even aware of why he states it, just something to say. He can't claim to truly know what Adrian means until he has his own Omega by his side. He hates that he only gets to live vicariously through his brother Alphas.

Adrian stares at Jensen intensely, not wavering his gaze. “Some day you'll have your own mated Omega and...you'll finally know and genuinely feel exactly everything I've been saying to you for the last five years.”

Jensen doesn't doubt that fact one bit. He steers Adrian onto strolling toward the open doorway.

==&&==&&==

Jared had already stripped Milo naked, covering him with a simple fitted sheet, as he's about to leave to run the water in the Jacuzzi tub. He looks up to see Adrian pass through the doorway and then Jensen walk in behind him.

“I hope you don't mind. Jensen says he's ' _just curious'_...” Adrian even does the “air quotes” to stress the words.

“Dude!” Jensen softly punches Adrian's arm. “There were so many _other_ ways you could've told him.” He gives a sad, apologetic smile toward Jared, who's gaze darts between the two Alphas.

Adrian deeply chuckles, smirking with mirth in his eyes. He's noticed Milo on the bed, a single draw sheet covering his nudity. “You need me naked, too?” He's already half-way there with his unbuttoned shirt. He plays with the fifth button that managed to stay closed when Milo was all over him earlier.

“Not really.” Jared shrugs one shoulder. “If you can bear your underwear getting soaked, you can keep it on.” He brought a huge towel out with him and he's now getting Milo to sit upright. He'll enclose Milo in the towel and then carry him to the tub, sit him on the ledge to let him slide his feet in first. “Some Omegas prefer their Alphas to be fully nude, so they can feel the length of the shaft—or if you happen to get hard as you both rub against one another.”

Adrian turns to Jensen, within distance to elbow him in the gut this time. “You might wanna carry a handy come-towel with you.” He wiggles his eyebrows as he starts to undo the rest of his shirt's buttons. “This shit sounds so clinical, but it's always been fuckin' sexy at the same time.” He looks back at Jared with a wink and an eyebrow lift.

Jared flashes his eyes at Adrian, then blushes before he says, “ _Could be the way I say the words..._ ” He had allowed his voice to take on the rich baritone of a bedroom voice, then ended on a breathy note.

“ _jesus...fuck me._ ” Adrian looks at Jensen. He tries to see if his brother Alpha has any reaction. “Of course not. Always Mr. Stoic, like a robot.” He slowly untucks his shirt hem out from his trouser's waistband. “An' you wonder why it's so tough to find a Beta.”

“ _Ouch_. Detract the claws, bitch!” Jensen points toward Jared having lifted Milo to carry him into the bathroom. “Stop running your mouth and get more undressed. You need to catch up or they'll move on without you again.” He snickers at how quickly Adrian dresses out of his clothes, then how quickly Adrian chooses _not_ to wear his boxer briefs.

The phallus was dark and semi-erect, slightly elevated off the scrotal sac. It turns a little to the left with a tendency to slap against the upper left thigh. There was a hint of a ring-shape at the base, hidden by the dark forest of pubic hair where Jensen knows the knot will form once fully erect and spewing semen.

Adrian crosses his arms over his chest, like he's defying Jensen to make a rude comment, then waits for Jensen to stop admiring his cock. “Impressed Alpha?”

Jensen's never been “bent” that way, when it came to other Alphas. He's unsure of what he's about to witness firsthand in his own bathtub. “Fuck you, Alpha.”

“no...fuck you!” Adrian walks out of the bedroom and into the bath, with the shake of his perfect white globes shifting with each movement of his legs.

Jensen cleaned up his bedroom floor a little—all he did was pile Adrian's tornado of clothes on the bench at the end of his bed. He can hear splashing and laughs as he ventures beyond the doorway. He keeps back a few inches, making sure they all feel a bit more private without him leering close.

Jared has had to squat down in the center of the tub, directing Adrian on how to touch Milo as he relaxes against his chest. “ _What you always want to be cognizant of is the connection between mother and 'pup', He's going to want what he wants but think of the 'pup' too—how what you do effects him._ ” He likes seeing Adrian's eyes alight and water at the idea of a son—a male heir to pass on his name. “ _Even though you caress a shoulder or an arm, try to also touch the belly with your other hand. It's that dual intimacy that the Omega needs to feel. He's still 'Milo' and your Omega, but he's a life giver to your son, your firstborn._ ” Jared touches Adrian, reassuring him that the tears were perfectly acceptable here. “ _It's okay to let it go with Milo. He knows, for himself, what he put you through...the guilt will weigh heavy on him if it's never addressed._ ” Jared pushes away, floating to the other side of the tub, to let the mated couple relax and feel one another's body. “ _...whenever you feel it's right-speak to him..._ ”

Jensen holds his breath, simply because—in such a small amount of time—he had forgotten that this is the first time Adrian has truly been allowed to be alone with Milo. He watches Milo lean backward, moving his head around to try and catch Adrian's eyes, but Adrian dodges the movement, choosing to, instead, just bawl his eyes out quietly and wrap his arms around Milo's upper chest.

“ _ssshhh-ssshhh_...I know, babe, I know...scary, huh?” Milo extends an arm behind to shape around Adrian's face and head; he really wants to face him and embrace him to his chest. This position will do for now. “It's like we're no longer playful mates who fuck.” He gives out a light chuckle that Adrian reacts in kind to. “We're gonna be parents.” Milo now slides his hands down the arms Adrian has secured about him. “We're gonna be fuckin' responsible for another life-our 'pup'.”

As Milo goes on to simply chatter, Adrian wipes at his face, trying to smile and soothe his hands down Milo's body. He's okay, until he gets to surrounding his hands around Milo's protruding belly and then he starts crying all over again.

Finally, Jensen has had enough. He knows this _isn't_ a part of the Omega Circle ceremony he's used to; this was like aquatic torture therapy. He can't bear to see Adrian lose his shit. “ _Adrian...stop-just—_ ” Jensen moves stealthily across the tiled floor to reach for his brother Alpha.

“ ** _No!_** _Please!_ ” Jared literally jumps out of the water to dive for Jensen—an arm across the middle of his torso, and another arm cupping the brow to keep the head back against his shoulder. It was an awkward angle, where he has to sit on the tub ledge and use both arms to drag the Alpha away, over his own body. “—let him be, Alpha...” Jared can feel Jensen try to struggle to be released; he's fearful of having the same thing done to him. Jared needs to reassure Jensen everyone is safe in this room. “It's not on purpose he's made to look weak in front of his Omega. Milo _needs_ to _see this_... _hear this_... _bear this_ with Adrian so they can both be stronger and heal together.”

Jensen's allowed his body to sink to his knees and he's leaning back on Jared's chest, resting his head on his shoulder and having Jared's soothing voice in his ear to settle him down. At some point, he managed to latch onto Jared's forearm tight across his chest. He's trying to steady his labored breathing; the husky voice helps somewhat. “ _sorry._ ” He mumbles the half-assed apology and attempts to get up. He wants one of Jared's arms off him, but he actually feels his body shaking underneath his skin and he needs it to steady himself.

Jared furrows his brow, realizing Jensen's feeling exactly like Adrian and unable to properly grieve in the same manner. Emotional envy with such a close bond with his brother Alpha and his Omega. It was unlike any reaction Jared has ever seen in a lead Alpha. He knows he has to deal with Jensen and that Adrian and Milo deserve some time alone. Jared loosens his hold on Jensen, grabbing a towel to secure about his own waist. “Follow me... _please_ , Alpha...” He stands at the door and gently commands Jensen to walk out of the bath first; he will then close the door behind them both.

Jensen passes Jared through the doorway with a dip of his head in some shame and guilt.

Jared shuts the paneling and watches Jensen pace over the carpet, first in front of him at the door and then in front of the bedframe. Jared walks over to sit down on the mattress. “He's not dead and neither is the 'pup'.”

“I know. I know _this_ , but it still...” Jensen stops to look over at Jared, a hand rubbing over his heart. “I run my pack my own way. Very different from my father's, where I grew up. My Omegas are as important to me as my Alphas and Betas. I encourage each one to bond as mates, then to bond as _like_ pack members. I want there to be no jealousy or backstabbing. None to think I'd favor one over the other. I want my mated Alphas and Betas to love their Omegas. I want the Omegas to never feel that the Betas will try to take their places.” He's beginning to run out of steam, shuffling over to plop down on the bench-seat. It's as Jensen begins to speak, explaining how exactly he's been running his own pack that he realizes he may have done them a greater disservice. “I wanted each of them to know one another, to bond and connect in a way that some packs never do. I think I've tried too hard to be so different...I've created a bubble around us an' we all...all of us feel what the others are feeling. I'm happy and ecstatic for Christian because I know how hard he's worked his ass off to get one measly play on the radio...and I know how...utterly destroyed Adrian would be if he had lost Milo and the 'pup'...”

Jared takes everything said into his mind and tries to be objective. It pains him to sit still, to not move closer so he can touch. Everybody deserve to be touched during an emotional state. But Jared doesn't feel he has the right to invade Jensen's personal space at this time. So he'll try to offer out words of advice. “Sometimes an Alpha is just a man, Jensen, one with emotions and feelings. He loves and hates. He rages and laughs. He's ultimately human to his core. Denying him the chance to grieve, to rid his body of those toxins, they'll sit inside him and fester as he internalizes and then...bad things happen.”

“My apologies. I ruined their private moment...” Jensen knows he can be too nosy at times and gets more awkward because he knows he can't handle truly emotionally wrought situations. “—a tendency I have to be too involved.”

“I think you _do_ need to see this.” Jared thinks Jensen has the right mind-set, but the wrong tools to actually put what he knows, or thinks he knows, to use. Jensen needs a little guidance to do the kind of things he wants done with his pack members. “Not all of it, but enough so you know how your Alpha really feels, what he's going through personally.” What he wants Jensen to know the most is...he's a good pack leader. Better than most and at least he's willing to notice his mistakes and consider changing. “You might be oversensitive and too invested than most Alphas, but don't ever make an excuse for how you run your pack. I've never seen it around before. It's refreshing to hear.”

Jensen stands, wandering around his bed to lean on the space near Jared’s perch. “I'm not used to the open rawness and vulnerability. I guess I never really thought it through—what I've done to all of them. Losing Milo, or the 'pup', would've killed us all.”

“Maybe we need to sit everyone down, late one night; Milo can be there or not. But the pack needs to grieve, too. You all need to heal and move on.” Jared gestures over his shoulder to the closed bathroom door. “This session in the tub is more for the mated couple.” It's like Jared suddenly realizes where he is, what he's wearing and what he's about to say. He feels too comfortable in Jensen's company, and a little too calm and content in Jensen's bedroom, seated on his bed. Now he just spews nonsense that sounds like he's saying something, rather than saying what he was really going to say. “Water is one of the four elements. It also reminds them of the womb. It can also be gentling for the baby, letting _him_ know not to be worried or fearful. Adrian needs to feel Milo's breath and heart to know he's alive, but then to also feel the life he carries.”

Now Jensen feels even more like a heel. “My deepest apologies again. I thought you'd go right into Omega Circle, and I get protective of my Alphas—well, of my pack.”

“Don't ever apologize to me. I'm not supposed to even be here. If this hadn't happened, I probably would've just been around for the birth.” Jared is assuming too much, yet again. He hadn't even gotten a call from Milo about being pregnant. “If Milo had considered calling to invite me.”

Jensen stands to both his feet, holding out a friendly hand to Jared. “C'mon...I should let you get back to them.”

Jared hesitates in taking Jensen's hand. When he eventually does, he quickly releases the fingers.

Jensen opens the door to hear Milo and Adrian's laughter, which is a very good sign to both Jensen and Jared. They share a mutual smile of relief, some satisfaction, then cross the threshold one after the other.

For Jared, it's back to the business he's here for...to work with Adrian and Milo. For Jensen, he'll try to lock away his own emotions and feelings, letting Jared carry out the session with his mated Alpha and Omega. But damn if he doesn't find himself more mesmerized by the changes in Jared: the laughter, the openness, the way he touches them and holds them to encourage the couple along. It's no different than what he's seen already, but with Jared it seems like every second is something new and thrilling. Like if you closed your eyes for even just a tiny bit, you'd miss something pretty extraordinary.

 

==&&==&&==

  
**TBC...**   



	5. Chapter 5

Jensen needed some time alone, away from watching his brother Alpha and his Omega re-bond and re-connect in intimacy. It made him want and pine, almost ache for his own deeper connection. And Jensen kept finding himself staring in utter fascination at Jared, unable to _not_ look away, if he wasn't looking elsewhere. The thought that Jared wasn't marked or scented by another Alpha, and that rebellious streak in him, that he was his own man not tied to a pack...Jensen began to grow more curious about this particular Omega. He wasn't going to be presumptuous and assume Jared wanted to be a part of a pack, that he'd actually want to be mated, with Alpha or Beta.

Jensen was sitting behind his desk in his office at home, trying to glance over business files and account books. But he couldn't stop thinking about what he had witnessed between Adrian and Milo. Well, really...Jensen can't erase the image of a drenched Jared coming out of his tub: those soaked-through tight white cotton boxers, laying low off his jutting hipbones and flat abdominal wall, and able to view the dark shadow of that cock beneath laying thick but flaccid between muscular thighs... _jesus_...Jensen pulls at his crotch to rearrange his clothing. He's been drawn to male Omegas before, but it had always been just for pure sex, not procreation. His initial meeting of Jared had never once stirred his dick, but the more time he spends in this Omega's presence, Jensen's body is beginning to desire and want. Odd thing, though, there wasn't the usual ferocity—he didn't want to slam Jared, face first, against a wall or bend him over, wherever he was, to stick his cock up the weeping hole and fuck until he's ejaculated every last drop of his sperm inside the canal.

Jensen was able to picture exactly the positions Adrian and Milo had been in and wished he could hold and caress Jared the same way: the rounded mound of their 'pup' peeking out above the waterline and then... _ohdeargod_. He's never had these types of domesticated fantasies with any other, nor had he ever thought being mated and sharing the gift of life would feel so damn erotic. It _had_ to be Jared's doing; it had to be _his_ fault because Jensen had never envied his mated couples this badly in his whole pack life.

There's a knock on his closed door.

“Come in.” Jensen calls the words out in the air, not knowing who will walk through.

It's only Sophia, peeking her head around the door. “Hey, it's only me.” She coughs into her hand, not knowing why her voice wanted to change octaves as she talked. “Jus' thought I'd tell ya', it's 7:30. Table's set and everyone's on their way down.” Sophia doesn't like the way Jensen is staring at her. “What? Is there something on my—?”

“Get in here.” Jensen waves Sophia inside, motioning her to give them some privacy. “Close the door.” It's weird how this female Beta reminds him so much of his baby sister, Mackenzie, whom he misses like crazy.

Sophia has to chuckle deeply, because Jensen can be such a weird guy at times, where she's unsure if he's truly a _lead_ Alpha—hell, if he's even just a _real_ Alpha. “oh my...yes, sir, my sir.” She loves to “play” with him, goad him into a true reaction that will show her his authenticity. She has yet to witness Jensen turn full-on Alpha.

Jensen chuckles at Sophia's teasing. She knows it's not her lead Alpha making the request, this is just a guy named Jensen. He watches her jokingly tip toe, then plop down in a chair flanking his desk. “I need you to speak to me plainly and be honest.”

“oh-kayyy...this sounds ominously serious.” Sophia's enough of a tomboy that she often sits like another male, but sometimes— _sometimes_ , she can alter her persona to be _very_ feminine. Especially when she can sense that Jensen needs her to “think” like a woman, for once.

“This was suggested by Jared, a few hours ago, an'...I wanted to run it by someone, see if they'd agree that we should consider this ASAP or wait awhile.” Jensen lifts his eyebrow, hoping that Sophia will take the challenge. She always been good for those—his constant sounding board when he doesn't truly want a macho-male perspective. “You're my 'someone'.”

“Gosh, I feel kind of privileged.” Sophia patted her upper chest, then fanned her face, like she was honored and tongue-tied. “I can only _imagine_ what this is gonna entail.”

“It's been made clear to me that, though Milo is here, alive and safe with us, still carrying the 'pup'...there was a long stretch of time where we had no idea if Milo would die. The 'pup' too.”

“—yeah...” Sophia puts on her “serious face”, only because she can sense something _real_ is coming her way. Jensen might need her to be a mature adult about her answer.

“Jared thinks we need to grieve as a pack. That we have to sit down and, uh...share our emotions and feel—” Jensen never gets to finish his thought before Sophia is on him, prepared with her answer.

“ **YES!** ”

“Well, wait. I'm not even done.”

“You don't have to be. **Hells yes** , if that makes it any clearer.”

Jensen isn't stunned by Sophia's answer, but he is startled with how her expressions change and shift to show that she's not playing around anymore. “You don't think it'd be too painful, this soon?”

“When is life not ever painful?” Sophia shrugs, crossing a leg over her knee, swinging her foot in a circle. “And...I don't think it's as soon as you believe.” She drops her eyes only because it's tougher to look Jensen in the eye and be as honest as she feels she needs to be. “It's almost been a week; some have had time to process what went on and where we are now.” Sophia closed her eyes, taking a deep inhale of air to blow it out. “Look, maybe I'm speaking from the sensitive _female_ side of my brain...” She can now gaze directly at those sharp green eyes awaiting her every word and move. “—but we _need_ this. We _need_ to talk about how each moment made us feel, then we have to alleviate fears.”

“ _Alleviate fears?_ ” To Jensen, this is sounding more precarious than it had looked only an hour ago. “What, like...if it could happen again?”

“That or, uhm...Chad.” Sophia just left that comment right where it stood.

Jensen furrows his brow, because this very thought had been sitting on his own brain for awhile. “Because Chad found Milo?” He hasn't been able to get that image out of his head—of Chad on the landing at the bottom of the staircase and just...falling apart at the sight of Milo's near tragedy.

“Yes, but...he's your _other_ Omega, Jen.” Sophia is a bit bewildered that Jensen isn't thinking of the bigger picture. “He's the next in line to carry a 'pup' for this pack—for his Alpha and Beta.”

Jensen doesn't know why he hasn't considered this since Milo and the 'pup' have been on his mind almost constantly. “You think this'll fester and cause a break in him?”

Sophia narrowed her eyes, thinking through on other occasions where Chad's Alpha and Beta had come to his rescue. “Well, no, because Chris will back off and Steve will shower affections. It'll get pushed under the rug and never be addressed. We'll never know how Chad actually feels. He'll be brave and joke...tease and flirt like he does, but down deep...he's gonna crack.”

“—crack until he shatters?” It's possible for Jensen to imagine exactly what Sophia is talking about. For some god-forsaken reason, it's been the same thing Jared's been pushing him to think about, but Jensen was too wrapped up in... _other things_. Like the attractive unmated Omega that has moved into his house.

“Exactly.” Sophia's eyes fill with tears as she tries to quell the emotions she's been feeling since catching Chad and Milo on the stairs and thinking their family would never bounce back had something tragic happened. “I know I’d like to say a few words, appease some worries that I've been hurting, if not a bit damaged by the trauma. I want to heal and move on, but I'd like to do it with my Alpha and Omega, maybe even the whole pack there to hear me.”

“yeah...I see what you're saying.” Jensen smoothed a hand over his brow, wondering why he kept thinking with his Alpha mind and emotions, not even considering how other pack members might feel different than him. “I think that's what Jared was getting at for us to do.”

Sophia's starting to feel a little emotional at the moment. “I want Adrian to know what I'm feeling, now that I'm aware of what it is.” She sits forward, her elbows on the arms of the chair she's in as her hands entangle so she can spin her pack ring around her finger. “And I want him to be able to be honest with me, to be able to come to me when he can't say the words to Milo.”

This is why Jensen feels he needs to be mated to his own Beta and Omega; he can't think like an Alpha within a mated couple. He can only assume and, so far, he's not doing a good enough job of it. “Is this _my_ fault? Is _this_ what I've turned you all into?”

“ _Your_ fault? How is any of this your fault?” Sophia's wrinkling her forehead in confusion. “Just because we've all naturally fallen in love with each other? Not just between our mates but outside to our other Alpha, Beta and Omega?” She actually has begun to like the idea of getting to know the other mated couple outside of her own; she has started to feel closer to her brother Beta, Steve, who has become as near as a sibling as she's never had.

“Should I have stopped everyone at some point? Told you not to step beyond normal, comfortable boundaries?”

Sophia wriggles around her her seat, a smile working on her painted lips leftover from the make-up she put on for work this morning. “You know...it's weird that you're asking me this because Steve and I have been bonding more as Betas.” She tilts her head to gaze at Jensen across his desk. “We share in our roles, and we're beginning to wonder if we can't be _closer_ still.” Sophia snickers when she sees Jensen's eyes go wider and darken. “I don't mean in our fellow Alphas, Betas or Omegas, but within our mated couples.”

Jensen thinks he has Sophia's meaning—hopefully with less perversion than where his mind wanted to go. “You mean—Adrian and you, Adrian and Milo...making Adrian, you and Milo?”

“Simply put... _threesomes_.”

“ _jesus_...” Jensen still thinks it's a bit raunchy, but somewhat cleaner than he was imagining. Still, though...the images playing around in his mind take him a minute to let the idea sink in. He covers half his face with his hand. “Have you approached your Alphas about _this_?”

“No, just coffee talk amongst ourselves.” Sophia sits back, more upright than she had been before. “It all started way-back when we got word of Milo being 'with-pup'.” She uses her left hand to start adding gestures to her talking; a nervous tick she has. “Steve could kind of see Chad getting slightly jealous, if not envious. The spotlight was off him and onto Milo.” Sophia motions toward Jensen, but not giving him full blame. “ _You_ showered attention, _Adrian_ walked ten feet off the ground—I mean, the _whole_ house...the pack's entire emotional state was fostering itself off Milo.”

“—leaving Chad in the dust?” Jensen rubs his entire hand over his face, not fathoming how they could've been this way to their second Omega. Chad didn't ask for this, nor did he want this kind of treatment, but...it was too late. Apologies would be empty right now.

“Again **_not_** your fault. Not anyone's fault. Not even Chad's fucked-up mind-set. The boy has issues, and I'm not just talking surface ones.” Sophia counts off on her fingertips. “His irrational fear of carrying a 'pup', even for the Alpha he loves dearly...Chad's whole demeanor shifting when Milo revealed he was pregnant and Chad's extreme tendency to put himself out there for Chris, even when it's probably going to harm or hurt him.”

“yeah, he gladly informed me of being caught in his heat inside the recording studio.”

“Bet he didn't tell you the demo he was mixing was for Chris.” Sophia catches Jensen's wide eyes. “yup, thought so. Now Steve thinks Chad's simply preparing to hibernate away, for good. We'll all see it as Chad just being...well, _Chad_.” She's glad to hear Jensen share in her short laugh. “He's hurting and he's probably been screaming for us, in his head, to pay him some damn attention.”

Jensen smirks from one side of his mouth. “Are you trying to make me think this is a good idea, the more you make it about Chad?”

It's always an “inside” joke the way the rest of the pack sees Chad, but deep down...he means the world to them.

“Nah, but if it helps...then I'll do it. I'd be the same way if it were Steve or Adrian.” Sophia gestures to Jensen, then brings her hand back to softly slap her thigh. “Hell, I'd even want this for _you_. Already, it sounds like you're trying to carry a burden you don't have to.”

“mmm...” Jensen's not sure he can take much more of _this_ , being he's realized his perfect pack life hasn't been so...perfect. “I never knew that about myself until I saw one of my brother Alphas utterly breaking apart and in inconsolable tears in front of his Omega.”

“You mean Adrian?” At Jensen’s nod, Sophia smiles as she wipes at her eyes, hoping to catch tears before they fall. She adores her Alpha; Adrian's been so damn good to her, she can't complain. “Good for him.” Sophia's aware of how much her Alpha and her Omega love one another, how deep their bond and connection goes, that they could do just as well without her around. “He's been a walking basket-case while Milo was in the hospital. I know he's never shown that side to Milo, and Milo has to see Adrian for the man he truly is...both weak _and_ strong.”

“So Steve thinks a threesome will— _what_?”

Sophia starts to squirm in her seat again, feeling like she's taking too much of a risk to reveal her brother Beta's privacy. But Jensen will never speak out of turn and take this to his Alphas unless he knew he had Steve and Sophia's consent. “For _him_ , Steve thinks if Chad knows he's there, he won't be so fuckin' scared.” She hooks an arm around one back rung of the chair. “Having Steve in the bedroom with Chad and Chris will make it more of a, uh...he won't think Steve resents him for being able to give this kind of a 'gift' to their Alpha.”

This was news to Jensen— _jesus christ_ , what else were his pack members keeping from him? “Chad's always thought Steve resented him?”

Sophia is able to witness Jensen's agitation, like she saying too much for him to take all at once. She wishes Steve were here with her. “Not so much anymore, because Steve saw how harmless and lovable Chad was once he dug through all the bullshit bravado.”

“In this threesome, exactly what role does Steve play? Observer? Does he stroke Chad's ego— _what_?” Jensen isn't totally vanilla about sex; he's been adventurous when he needs to be or wants to be. But he does know that for other pack members certain sexual deviances mean different things to them. They want what they want and it's usually something other than what one thinks.

“Well, frankly, Steve won't know until they actually consider doing this. He's not gonna upstage the Alpha role, by any means, but maybe it'll be what Chad needs to hurdle over his issues—if he can feel and understand how much Steve _does_ love him and wants him mated to Chris.” To a Beta's mind, they want to be everything for their Alpha and Omega, even if it means being the catalyst to bring out the bigger picture. Sophia and Steve often kid around that they are the true “mothers” of this pack and their mated couples because they often feel like Alpha and Omega act like “children” sometimes, even when trying to be mature.

“And you want this too?” Jensen can't imagine Sophia's choice is for the same reasons. Adrian and Milo are one of the best mated pack couples he's ever known—not just because they're _his_ pack—and he can't imagine there being too much wrong between them.

“I want to feel closer to _both_ of them.” Sophia's feeling nervous again, this time because she's revealing her own personal feelings. “I've always been good with Adrian, but I sometimes think he'd rather fall asleep with Milo. Certainly now if he needs to feel the 'pup' against his body.” Sophia has never fantasized about being able to breed and carry her Alpha's litter, but she has dreamed of a deeper connection, like what she sees for Adrian and Milo. “I want them _not_ to feel like I'm gonna break them apart. I know how much they adore each other—fuck, they've been together since Milo was 15. I know they would die without the other. I hate that I can see they have to hide from me or I'll turn into Queen Bitch.”

Jensen tries to hide the smirk behind his hand. He dearly loves Sophia, because she's got an Alpha mentality but likes being a Beta. “Have you thought of what you'd be for them in the bedroom?”

“Not really.” Sophia's face goes blank, but then she looks directly across at Jensen and lifts a curious dark eyebrow, her voice going sultry and sexy. “ _Got any pointers?_ ”

“ _gah_!” Jensen finds a blank sheet of paper, crumbles it to throw at Sophia, who catches it one-handed like a pro-baseball player. “You can be such a fuckin' brat!”

“And you're a _naughty_ lead Alpha.” Sophia tosses the balled paper between her hands. “You don't _have_ to know everything.”

Jensen sighs heavily, leaning forward in his chair over his desktop. His shoulders sag to finally show how much weight he's been carrying for weeks now. “I'm learning now how it might be best that there be no more secrets we keep from each other. Well, when it counts.”

“Yeah, well...” Sophia stops her juggling act to concentrate on Jensen's face, particularly his eyes with what she's going to say to him next. “—it's easy to see why you're suddenly willing to be agreeable when it's right in front of you with beautiful hazel eyes, a deep set of adorable dimples and a body you just wanna climb.”

“ ** _Sophia!_** ”

==&&==&&==

Jared rolls over and stretches on the warm, comfortable mattress in the darkening room. He opens his eyes to wakefulness, then turns to see Milo laying on his left side, not too far from him, propped on pillows to help him rest as he naps. Placing his hand under his cheek, Jared shuffles over until he's almost tangling legs with his brother Omega. He reaches out with his left hand and caress a whisper-touch over the 'pup' mound. If he closes his eyes, he can actually hear the steady heartbeat, the strong intake of oxygen and the _whoosh-whoosh_ of embryonic fluid. The muffled noises are a nice symphony that proves the 'pup' is healthy, getting stronger.

He's so enthralled by the 'pup's' movements Jared never sees Milo wake or notices the slight action to cover the top of his hand. A few minutes later, Jared startles, blushing and turning his face away in embarrassment. “Sorry. I have belly envy.”

“Liar. You have 'pup' envy.” Milo brings Jared's hand up to his mouth to kiss, then holds on like a lifeline. “I so want _this_ life for you.”

“mmm...why not?” Jared wiggles his eyebrows in mock appreciation as he deeply sighs. “You live in utter luxury. Like a rightful Queen.”

“No.” Milo gently tugs as he senses Jared beginning to draw away. “I meant the important stuff. Like love...acceptance. Jus' plain ole respect and being proud.” He bends an arm under his head, resting on the array of pillows. “I want you to have someone like Adrian—an Alpha who'd, literally, lay down his life for you. You _deserve_ it.”

“I deserve no such thing.” Jared takes his hand away, then rolls onto his back. “I'm happy in what I do. It keeps me going.” It sounds like he means it, like he stands behind it one-hundred percent; he wishes he felt that way deeper inside.

“What about the day it doesn't?” Milo drops his eyes, hating that he's always the one who has to keep reflecting the mirror back in Jared's face. For once, he wants Jared to stop living his life for others and just...live his life for himself.

Jared shuffles his head around the pillowcase. It's so quiet in the bedroom, there's a soft noise of his hair swishing against the white cotton. “What do you mean?”

“I don't know any other Omega that commands a presence like you do.” Milo realizes he's going to have to shove over toward Jared, because the other Omega is trying to roll away from his closeness. “You make Alphas and Betas practically kiss your feet.”

Jared finally stops moving on the mattress, finding himself meshed in a crevice of soft plushness underneath. “I'd rather they kiss their Omega's feet.”

“See— ** _ahhh!_** Right _there_!” Milo swats, then points an index finger into Jared's upper chest. “You can't even take something for yourself in a slight tease.” He uses his fingertip to poke a few more times until Jared snatches his hand, like he's gonna bite it off. Now they start to gently shove one another, playfully; Jared would never harm the 'pup'.

Jared finally tenderly tackles Milo to his body, where the Omega curls around to lay head and back against Jared's torso. “Why say this to me now, huh?” He attempts to sneak a peek at Milo's face. “You know I'm _not_ mating...will probably _never_ mate.”

Milo's stolen Jared's right arm, hugging it to his body, as it lays under his protruding belly. He likes the feel of the warmth against his bare skin. Jared's great about subtle caresses while talking, touches that calm and make one content in the moment.“I hate that we lost touch once Adrian and I left San Antonio. This pack—Ackles' pack...Jensen...he's...well, _jesus_ , man...” Milo moves his head around to look over his shoulder, up toward Jared who stares down at him with a curious lift to his eyebrow. “He's not like any Alpha I, or you, have ever known.”

Jared feels his throat constrict. He's missed this closeness with the Omegas he works with. It's not like he's intentionally distant with them, they just remind him too much of what he once had that he can't ever get back. “He does seem a bit non-conformist, but he leans heavy on traditionalism, maybe some purist thoughts.” He slinks down in the bed, his arm moving tighter around Milo, liking the feel of the fingers swaying back and forth over the soft hairs on his arm.

“I don't mean in the 'pack' sense.” Milo goes still, scratching at his cheek as he swivels his head. “I mean him as a...he's _not_ mated, by the way.” How could he subtly or overtly shove two of the most important men in his life? He doesn't count Adrian because he's already taken—mated.

“Stop. Right now.” Jared's uncurling his arm from around Milo's body, but his brother Omega is snatching at his forearm with hidden strength. “Don't even try to 'fix me up' with your lead Alpha.” He's sitting up higher against the pillows and headboard.

Milo re-situates himself to where he's turned toward Jared, now upright and leaning his body against Jared's hip and outer thigh. “I don't know specifics, but through pillow-talk with Adrian...” He absentmindedly plays at the sheets beneath him, like he's finding lint to pick or crumbs to brush away. “Jensen is one of those rare Alphas that seeks out _male_ Omegas more than females.”

Jared sweeps out his arms, then brings them in to fold over his stomach. “That really does _nothing_ for my self-esteem.” He lets out a light chuckle only because it's obvious that Milo's trying to play “matchmaker”.

“Adrian wanted a Beta to mate with, so I let him.” Milo's hoping that he can give Jared some insight into knowing that being mated isn't going to be such an awful thing—if he still carries those same fears he had when he was a cub. “It happens to be the best decision I ever made.” He can't help but smirk with a lift to a corner of his mouth. “I think it's more of...that she's a doll, and she's pretty kick-ass.” Milo uses an index finger to point to himself. “She makes **_me_** look docile.” He knows Jared remembers is wild-cub days before he settled down to maturity.

“I don't need you to ruin my love life.” Jared extends a hand out to clamp around Milo's drawn-up leg. “I do fine on my own.”

If it's the fact he can't stand Betas harping-in on his relationship, then Milo wants to reassure Jared Jensen won't be _that_ kind of an Alpha. “I don't think Jensen will care—-if he finds an Omega that completes him in all aspects— _which you know you do_. And...you already act like a Beta—a Beta who can breed.” He's always been a little jealous of Jared's ability to crawl out from under being an Omega, but Jared will never share with him how he does it.

“I've got plenty of fertile years ahead of me. I'm not dying to carry a 'pup'.”

“Liar.”

“ _Whatever_.” Jared doesn't care what Milo believes; he's here for his brother Omega, not himself. He begins to shuffle around to fit his body so that Milo is now centered between his spread legs. He's still propped against the pillows and headboard, now he pats his chest to signal to Milo to come rest against him...it's about to be mother and “pup” time...

“All right.” Milo secretly likes this time; it's a precious moment that Jared gives him, out of the the love in his heart—for Milo and the still-to-be-birthed 'pup'. He pretends a heavy sigh of exasperation, but he'll keep chipping away at Jared's stiff resolve. “I'll stop pestering you about Jensen...” He lays backward within the cradle of Jared's legs, against the warm, muscular chest. “—if you do me one huge-ass favor.”

“What?” It's like Jared has the massage oils at the ready, like a gunslinger. He flips up the bottom hem of Milo's tunic, resting the material on the upper curve of the protruding belly. “You know I'll do _anything_ for you— _within reason_.” He squeezes out a small puddle of the oil, tucking the bottle under a nearby pillow. Jared rubs his hands together to warm them and the oil so neither are cold against the bare skin.

Milo's the one who helps to hold down the wide elastic band of his linen pants. “You have to do a solo session with Chad.” It's weird how he and Jared can talk normally while they carry on this intimate few minutes of massaging the “puppy bump”.

Jared's pauses in his motions of sweeping around and then toward the belly button. “Chad? Wha—?” He immediately goes back to massaging, catching Milo's glance upward toward him. He's being serious, no joking. “What's going on with him?”

“ _Christ!_ What's _not_ going on with this guy?” Milo relaxes against Jared's body, which is what's supposed to happen; he starts moving around, making small noises under his throat, because the “pup” is waking, wanting to move and is curious to who's now touching him—outside his tight enclosure.

Jared lets Milo rub his face against the side of his head, cooing softly into an ear. “Is it bad?” His voice hits low octaves so as not to startle mother or 'pup'.

Milo now tries to hang on to Jared's forearms, sliding down to his wrists as his own legs spread wide—it's a natural reaction for an Omega, like practicing when the 'pup' is about to born. “I helped him get through one of his heats one night...” He exhales on a long breath, arching off Jared slightly in what looks like pleasure or ecstasy, but it's only his body trying to find a natural niche to burrow in. “—man, the boy is wound up tight deep inside.”

Jared helps Milo's lift his legs so he can rest them on top of Jared's own lower limbs—this raises Milo's back and backside off the mattress and creates a birthing position that Milo needs to practicing his breathing through. “You think he was abused?”

“No.” Milo chokes out as he lays on Jared at a crooked angle—now, in an odd way, he can see Jared's face looking down at him. “Well...if being neglected is considered 'abuse', then 'yes'.” It amazes him how good of a birthing coach Jared is, or maybe he's had to become better over the years. Milo has re-situated himself further down Jared and the mattress.

“How did he do once his heat passed?” Now that he's woken the 'pup', Jared is about to massage Milo's shoulders and down his body. He's not using oils, but just his hands; he's put Milo's clothes back the way they were a few minutes ago.

“He went quiet.” Milo stares ahead, his mind going back to that very moment. “Like... _eerily_ quiet.” It almost scared him how quiet Chad had gotten. “If you knew Chad, then you'd know that's unlike him.”

Jared's fingers trail up along Milo's shoulders, hitting his neck, then coming up and around his scalp to massage through the dark locks. “Some say those signs prove exactly who we are.” He's releasing a tiny smile, simply because he's starting to feel like Milo's a limp noodle. “Or that it manifests our true spirits. Our outward face that we keep inside.”

“I've been...” Milo's so relaxed right now, he's far down Jared's body, using his thighs now as arm-rests. “—since I found out I was pregnant, he's always around me. He's, like, right on my heels, doing everything for me. He watches me like a fuckin' hawk.” He curls his arms underneath Jared's legs, his knuckles scraping the backs of the denim-covered kneecaps “So...with him being around me, constantly, I started opening up to him. I told him what you and I can do for Omegas and, at first...he laughed it off.” Milo laughs at the same minute he says the word. “He thought I was boasting, just bullshitting. But then he got caught without his Alpha in the throes of his heat and he called me to restart the bet we'd made.” He swipes a hand over his face. “I didn't take his money because of what I felt from him. He's a time bomb about to implode.”

Jared pauses in his ministrations, tugging Milo up along his chest, able to rest the side of his cheek and jaw on top of Milo's head. “You said he was the one who found you?” This is just for him—a brother to brother sentiment—because he can't fathom seeing Milo injured or in any kind of traumatic moment. He's pleased it wasn't him, but not so to now know that it's affected the younger Omega in a negative way. Jared knows how much this has got to hurt Milo—knowing he could've unintentionally damaged his brother Omega.

“yeah...fuckin' hell.” Milo gives off a rather stilted laugh, one of his hands quickly moving to hook around Jared's arm. “Of all of the pack members who were here...it _had_ to be him.” He presses a light kiss to Jared's skin, then tries to sit upright on his own; Jared helps him.

It's time to massage Milo's back

Jared goes for the same oil bottle he hid a few minutes ago. “What's he been like when he thinks about his role as an Omega?”

Milo pulls at the back collar of his tunic, letting Jared help him work the material over his head. “It's pretty warped. He likes that he can openly fuck his Alpha.” He doesn't take the shirt completely off his arms, kind of keeping his upper chest and belly covered. “I don't think he liked Steve, at first. But Steve's refusal to buy into any of Chad's BS, and to just shower him with affection—like a brother...” Milo shakes his head as he recalls those days in the past. “—Chad changed his tune. Now they're close.” He grabs for the pillow Jared is handing him to rest on his lap so he can lean over.

Once the oil is covered on his palms and warmed, Jared rubs his hands over the expanse of the bare back hunched in front of him. “What's he like with Christian?”

Milo hugs the plushness to his front. “Chad started out bein' a 'fan' of Chris— _his music_.” He lets out tiny grunts and groans as Jared manages to knead though all his “soft-spots”. “Jensen let them meet and...” Milo snickers with the shake of his head, his cheek flat to the pillow as his eyes close. “When Chad drops his facade, lowers the bravado...the kid is skilled and so fuckin' smart. Chris wasn't looking for an Omega to breed or mate with. But there's something about Chris and Chad, when they connect on a level of music...it's like they share a brain. I know it wasn't easy to get Chad to calm down and see Chris as his Alpha, but...” He shrugs his shoulder, one roll at a time “—at the end of the day, they're simply two dudes who enjoy old vinyls and acoustic covers.”

Jared pats and kisses a spot at the bottom portion of Milo's nape, where the dark hairs stops at the hairline. “How long have they been mated?” He starts to help Milo pull the tunic back over his head so they can re-cover his nude torso. Jared finds it interesting how shy Milo is about his body during this time; it's a shame because Jared thinks he's never looked more beautiful...and alive.

“Honestly?” Milo is turning sideways, his gaze connecting with Jared's. “I'd say 2yrs. We've been here in this house for five...a year later, Chad moved in.” He looks up as he tries to calculate in his head. “It took another year for Chris and Chad to mesh as perfectly as they do now.” Milo keeps nodding his head in agreement with his first assessment. “So, yeah...2yrs.”

Jared instinctively reaches out to cup his hand over the upper portion of the mound. “How is he about breeding and the whole circle of creating a life to giving birth?”

“Hates it.” Milo settles both hands on top of Jared's. “Well, he _says_ he does. I think he's just scared, like any young Omega would be to the unknown.”

“hmm...now he's downright afraid.” Jared is now able to understand why Milo has his fears for Chad. If Chad had misgivings before Milo's incident, then there was no telling how far the young Omega wanted to run away from his role as his Alpha's Omega.

“yup. So, _please_...” Milo squeezes Jared's fingers, placing the hand over the palm of one of his, then sandwiching them. “—while you're here, can you see about pulling him aside and just...if I was able, I'd help you get him through. I know he would want to see a familiar face there as we rip open his insides.”

Jared can see that this is a burden Milo's had for awhile, that he doesn't need to carry. He'll gladly help in this case. “yeah, well...you saw how bottled up this pack can be, no matter how 'open and honest' they think they're being with one another.” He had contemplated mentioning Jensen's reaction to Adrian's breakdown, or not saying anything at all. Jared wasn't sure Milo had been focused enough to realize his lead Alpha had nearly collapsed emotionally during his session with Adrian. “I told Jensen that he needs to think about sitting down with the pack and grieving properly.”

“What?” Milo places one hand over his upper chest in mock shock, then fans himself. “Over little ole me?”

Jared scoots up and surrounds his bent legs around Milo to bring him close to his chest. “You're a well-loved Omega, brother...” Then he leans over to mesh his face into the dark silky hair, where they both caress over his pregnancy. “... an' you're the bearer of your pack's first 'pup'...you're close to sainthood.” Jared speaks into the shell of an ear, then presses a chaste kiss to the side-burn as he climbs from around Milo and then off the bed.

“damn...I know.” Milo feels a little colder without Jared near, but he knows he can't keep him forever. “Well, gosh...I wish I was feeling a little stronger and not on permanent bed rest or I'd walk down there with you.”

“Why?” Jared moves over to change his t-shirt into a longer-sleeved Henley. “What's going on?” He wanders into the bath to wash his hands.

“The pack's twice-weekly meeting.” Milo calls out as he tries to settle himself back on the bed, all by his lonesome. He's dragging every pillow he can to make another “body” so he can rest on his side and place his belly down comfortably. Jared would've been the perfect length and size for this task, but his brother Omega isn't staying. He will be back though, later tonight. “It sounds cheesy and kind of lame.” He stuffing pillows as Jared walks back out rubbing his hands dry. “It would seem more logical with a pack the size of my old one.” Milo lets out a smile as Jared wanders over to pull up a draw sheet to cover his body from a chill. “Jensen learned it in his own father's pack; he finds it keeps us close and well informed.”

Jared smirks with some mirth. “wow...that actually sounds smart and efficient.” He's attempting to make it seem like he's interested in knowing this, still thinking Milo's trying to get him a “date” with his lead Alpha. “Is it a free-for-all or do they follow some itinerary?”

Milo tucks a bent arm under his head. “We have a routine, but anything and everything can be discussed.”

“Do you mind if I—?” Jared points toward the closed door, then down to mean the first floor.

“no-no, go ahead.” Milo waves Jared away, like he's already forgotten him and he won't miss him like crazy. Stupid fluffy pregnancy emotions making him look like such a sissy. “You're far too distracting of a bed partner. But, please...be gentle with them.” He shuts his lids as if he's already falling asleep—bored out of his mind. “I want my family to be able to look at me in the morning.”

“hehehe...I promise to be gentle— _eventually_.” Jared blows an air-kiss to Milo, which Milo ends up catching simply because he could hear the familiar noise.

==&&==&&==

When Jared strolls down the hallway on the way to the open kitchen doorway, he begins to pick up bits and pieces of the conversation of the pack meeting going on...

 **_**_ **   
**_“—the Escalade needs tires rotated when the oil's changed.”_ **   
**_“What date is that on?'_ **   
**_“Let's see...at 6,000miles or when speedometer reads 25,074, uhm...on the 8_ ** **_th_ ** **_.”_ **   
**_“I have a staff meeting at 7am. I can take the Escalade in that day, if you don't mind my Volvo.”_ **   
**_“no-yeah...tha's good because I'm gonna need to travel into Dallas to the superstore.”_ **   
**_**_ **

Jared softly chuckles, shaking his head as he wanders into the kitchen without a sound. Dinner is being kept warm and Jared spots an array of plated finger-foods left over. His belly rumbles; he goes to the fridge to grab a juice or a bottled water. He cleans off the plates of the last bites of food, then stacks them near the sink. He notices the dishwasher immediately. He opens the door to peer inside, checking to see if the dishes are dirty or clean. He found them dirty, so he picks up a hand towel, throwing it over his shoulder.

As he starts cleaning off the counters and the center island, Jared's made a good start for a chore to keep himself busy while the pack meeting finishes. He swivels to scrape off crumbs and hardened cheeses into the garbage pail when he finds Chad staring at him from his position of leaning on the middle island counter top.

“Dude...there are people who do that for us. 'sides, you're a guest. You shouldn't.”

“They were here. They were dirty. I've got time to spare. I ate the food too. Whatever was left for me to finish.”

“Good shit, huh? Gotta say...our Betas rival some of the best known chefs in Dallas.” Chad walks over to put his hands out to defend himself. “Don't kill the messenger, bro. I was dispatched to see which noisy giant has been making a fuss in our once quiet kitchen.”

Jared snickers, turning back to the sink. He hears a huge sigh behind him, then feels the body heat step to his right as Chad pulls up his sleeves to his elbows.

“Christ! It's like Milo 2.0.” Chad growls under-breath, then turns his head to crack his neck, shuffle his shoulders like he's a boxer preparing to enter the ring. “You two love to make me look like the inferior one.”

Jared locks his real reaction away, which was where he wanted to rage and spit fire. For Chad, he gives him a wide smile. “Why don't you take it for what it is? Dirty dishes need to get clean. It's the process of a well-run kitchen.”

“har-har.” Chad begins to snatch plates right out of Jared's grip. “Nothing is as what it seems.”

Jared nods his head, letting Chad win _this_ round.

Pretty soon every dish is locked away in the washer. It appears as if the pack meeting has been officially declared over as Steve and Sophia returned to find a spotless kitchen with clean counters.

 ** _“whoa...”_**  
 ** _“yeah...wow.”_**  
 ** _“Thanks, Jared.”_**

It's a joint appreciation toward the taller Omega.

“Hey!” Chad gives off a frown with an exaggerated lift of his brow. “I helped. I supervised.” He watches as the pots and pans holding dinner are brought out from the oven. Looking toward Jared under low lashes, he slinks by. “— _excuse me_.” It's as if he's been especially trained to the task, but he's ashamed to show this in front of another, older Omega. He moves to reach up into the cabinets and pulls down clean plates

Jared's truly pleased to see that Chad does know _some_ semblance of obedience, but he thinks it's more because Chad likes these two Betas, certainly his own mated one, Steve. Jared does a quick assessment and finds the silverware drawer and the cloth napkins set out nearby. He follows behind Chad, entering the dining hall, his gaze only darting once to where the Alphas stand, huddled in a corner of the dining room, whispering between each other.

They pay the Omegas no mind, but once Chad sets plates down with Jared right after him, they catch the whiff of a new scent. Adrian and Christian only look once; their backs are turned to the table, but Jensen is the one facing the view. He takes his fill, then tries not to stare so rudely. He doesn't catch Adrian and Christian's elbowing one another, but he does hear their snickers and sees them try to hide stupid-ass grins.

“ _What?!?_ ” Jensen hates the not-knowing as his two brother Alphas share in the private joke.

“Nothing.” Christian holds back his snickering, then sticks his tongue into his cheek. He does give a side-glance to Adrian that leaves Jensen confused.

“yeah, it's not really—well, it is, but...” Adrian doesn't know how to explain what he and Christian are finding funny. Plus, sometimes he is a bit intimidated by Jensen's lead Alpha status, which is why he and Christian have bonded so perfectly. “It's good to see you so confused like this around an Omega.”

“Well, fuck.” Jensen rolls his eyes, then understands it's simply in his Alphas nature to tease him relentlessly. “He's kind of hard to miss.” It's not just Jared's height that commands attention, the guy has a scent and a, uh...warmth around him—Jensen considers it like an aura or something. But it settles into a room that Jared’s been in and it never leaves even though the Omega is long gone.

“oh, yeah. But it's different. Here. At home.”

Jensen focuses his eyes on Adrian, who has closed and “zippered” his mouth into silence, fearing wrath from his brother Alpha. “Why do you say _that_?”

“Look at him, **_he_** 's different.” Christian has now taken over the need to explain further. “He's letting Chad take the lead. He's a guest in the house. He knows he's not at home with his own pack, so he's behaving...he's conforming.”

Both Jensen and Adrian stare intently at Christian's thoughtful insight into an Omega.

“Dude, when did you learn how to assess an Omega's nature?”

“I read...some things.” Christian coughs into his hand, then crosses his arms at his back. “I can...observe.”

“No. You've caved to the mercy of your own handful-of-an-Omega.” Adrian doesn't even wait for Christian to shove him, he just moves out of the way once he's finished. But Christian's only response is to grow quiet, look down and stare at his cowboy boots. “ _jesus_ , man...if it makes you feel any better, I'll let you punch me in the backyard after dinner.”

Jensen narrows his gaze on his best friend, watching the jaw clench and the neck muscles flex with tension.

“I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of—” Christian clears his throat to step closer into the circle of their bodies. “Don't know why it pisses me off so much 'cuz both of you know I never wanted to mate with an Omega...never thought about a 'pup' before. But I just...” He gives a short look over his shoulder toward Chad, standing with Jared. “Fuck if I know, guys. I'm not an expert on the hows and whys of Omegas.” Christian rubs his hands over both eyelids, letting out a low growl-moan. “I wish I had the solution to this puzzle.” He dramatically drapes himself over Adrian's shoulder, feeling the Alpha twitch, as if he thinks Christian is laying-in-wait to retaliate. “Someone please throw me a life jacket before I drown.”

Jensen's always been slightly envious of the closeness Adrian and Christian share, even though they were at each other's throats a year or so ago. “Not every Omega's like Chad, Chris.”

“But, Jen...” Adrian's wrapped an arm about Chris' waist, letting his brother Alpha lean on him a little, and grateful to offer out the support that's gladly accepted. “—not every Omega has fallen in the line of Chris' radar— _not like Chad has_.” Adrian bumps his hip and then looks at Christian. “You'd be an idiot to throw all that away, brother.”

“I'm not...” Christian nods his head in total agreement, then rubs a palm over his chest. “—it's really not important that he comply with _all_ of my wishes—not denying he's good for me an' we get along. I don't get bored with him...”

“But—?” Jensen can hear, and sense, there's more Christian wants to say out loud to him.

“I don't wanna let the pack down.” Christian almost lets out a sigh as he confesses. “I mean, if you—Jen—don't see yourself with an Omega in the next year or so...I'm gonna _have_ to find an Omega who wants to—”

“Don't!” Jensen extends a hand outward, palm nearly in Christian's face. “Don't even let those words pass your lips, man. They shouldn't even be in your head.” He clears his throat, blinking fast as he spares a glance at Adrian for help.

Adrian now settles his arm, once around Christian's waist, to go around the broad shoulders. “Something tells me you’re looking for an escape hatch too early.” He squeezes his brother Alpha closer, talking into an ear to create privacy. “You haven't even spoken to Chad—let him have _his_ say and get out what _he_ needs to. Give up on him this soon, he'll be lost to you forever.”

Jensen clamps a hand on each of his Alphas' shoulders. “Start dinner without me. I need to speak to Jared.”

==&&==&&==

Jared was quietly listening to Chad speak in his crack logic way that made sense only to Chad. His back was turned when he felt a sudden rush of intense heat, then the hairs on his neck stood on end. He watched Chad's eyes go wide, catching him interrupting his own chatter. Jared finally spun on the ball of one foot to find Jensen close by.

“Sorry.” Jared gave of a small side-grin. “Chad can be riveting.”

Jensen doesn't understand why he can never find the right words to speak to Jared from the get-go. He wonders if he'll always be rendered speechless when he's near Jared, until one of them breaks the ice.

Luckily, Jared detects the odd distress, almost like the way Jensen had bolted to stop Adrian from bawling his eyes out. He understands that the awkward disquiet will make the Alpha appear weak and vulnerable. “I would've been down here earlier, but...” He clears his throat, with a bashful look to his features. Jared has successfully turned the focus onto _himself_ , away from Jensen. “I wanted to be sure Milo was resting well, then he made me sleepy. uhm, could I—?” He made short motions with his hand. “Is there someplace private we can talk?”

Jensen swallows hard, a broad smile spreading over his lips—Jared just effortlessly saved him some unneeded embarrassment. “oh, yeah...'bout that _thing_...'bout Milo.” He didn't want Chad to think he would take Jared into his office only to have his “way” with the Omega—there would be true purpose to them being alone. “yeah-uh...yes...my office. Just follow me.” Jensen takes off first, hoping Jared will actually follow behind him.

Jared slapped his palms together, gesturing the bond of them toward Chad. “You good here, Chad?”

“Oh, I'm just swell.” It's only that _another_ Omega—not Chad—has found favor with _his_ lead Alpha. “Thanks for leavin' me in the lurch, kiss-ass.” He barks toward Jared on his way out.

“I'm really sorry. I'll make it up to you later.” Jared has no idea what he'll do, but he'll attempt to keep the promise. He's able to catch up to Jensen's shorter steps; they meet in the hallway outside the massive office doors. “Just so you know, you could've talked to me after dinner.” Jared doesn't want to keep the Alpha from his meal, nor does he want to delay the pack's eating time.

“nah—I already told them to start without me.” Jensen opens one of the doors—the one on the left—holding the paneling for Jared to watch him walk in. “I've had some rather...” He calmly shuts the door, latching it closed, but not locking the mechanism. “—interesting, and eye-opening, conversations since you last saw me.”

“Really?” Jared's stunned to hear this information. “Is that why I was called in here?” He wants to make a small joke about this feeling like the Principal's office and him being a bad student, but it allows too much innuendo to make Jensen feel more uncomfortable now that they're alone.

“You were right.” Jensen isn't afraid to admit he was wrong—not to Jared.

“I was?” Jared's startled by the lead Alpha's admission. He's never had an Alpha speak to him this openly and freely—like they're best friends just chatting. “About what?”

“My pack isn't as happy as I once thought.”

 **== &&==&&==**   
**TBC...**


	6. Chapter 6

Suddenly, it's as if Jared can sense Jensen's unease—-it's about as close to being hurt or wounded as he's ever felt from a lead Alpha, but it's a tempered sensation. Jensen always has an easy calm about him, though he looks like he's about to crumble with a nervous breakdown. “This is about _Chad_ , isn't it?”

Jensen wishes the problems with his pack weren't so evident, but then again Jared's been trained to spot these kinds of issues within the pack. “eh, he's the epicenter, but one of my mated couples could end up... ** _not_** _mated_.” He nods his head at Jared's wide-eyes of genuine shock and awe. “—if **_I_** don't do something soon to wake us all up.”

Jared's shaking his head, but only because he's attempting to tell Jensen it's not _his_ place to burden himself with “fixing” anything—-it's why he's here, to make problems of his pack less of a burden. “Milo's let me know a few things, but what he couldn't tell me was, uh...” He already knows Jensen gets a bit rattled with his way of talking, so he steadies himself to keeping an eye on the lead Alpha's face. “...if Chad's taken his Alpha's knot yet.”

“ ** _What?!_** ” Jensen doesn't mean to act outraged, but he is. Okay, _yes_...he and his Alphas _do_ talk amongst each other like a Boys' Club, but...not about _that_ kind of stuff. If they do speak about sex, it's more about boasting or showing off a certain manly Alpha-ness. “ _Like I would know_ ** _that_** _shit?!_ ” He has to walk away, because it's not the topic of conversation, it's the Omega helming the conversation, asking him about his Alphas knots and if his Omegas “take” them. Jensen guesses Jared could've been dirtier—- _ohgodyesplease_ —-but he's thankful there are more clinical/technical ways Jared can use to not arouse him by simple words out of his mouth.

“C'mon, you're lead Alpha...” Jared _knows;_ he's not a dumb, clueless Omega like some _. “—_ your secondary Alpha would be as honest with you as he feels he's allowed to be.” He's teasing Jensen to let him know he can be honest with him; he won't go running around the whole house blurting out every Alphas' secret. He _does_ know what discretion means. “He's also your best friend.”

“Is it—?” Jared turns back around to face Jared, moving so he can take a spot on leaning against the front ledge of his desk. He folds his arms across his chest, hands grabbing for his muscular biceps and rubbing them like he's chilled or needs to be petted to relaxation. “Is it possible Chris could have pulled back to such an extent that he'd...?”

Jared is concentrating too hard on Jensen's hands—-they're nice hands: long, thick fingers with trimmed nails and better cuticles than most Alphas have; he must know how to properly groom himself to not appear like a wild beast. Hazel eyes lift up to narrow on Jensen's direct gaze; Jared swallows as he spits out, “Lots of Alphas find different ways to seek pleasure with Omegas.” He takes an unnatural pause in his talking, only so he can walk over and take one of the chairs flanking the huge desk in the room. It's not a comfortable chair, or maybe Jared's too fidgety to be seated yet. He always has useless, nervous energy to burn off, so he tends to move around a lot in his sitting positions. “Unless they're on birth control or the Alpha suppresses his knot...” Jared lifts his right leg to place an ankle across his left knee, trying to fold his hands properly in his lap. “...he can still fuck his Omega to both their shared ecstasies.” He actually catches Jensen swallowing hard at the harsh word of “fuck”—-the way that lump of an Adam's apple just bobbed along that stretch of pale neck. Jared softens his tone, not because he's attempting not to shock the Alpha, but because he doesn't like teasing Jensen into being so shy around him, though the blushing is kind of... _charming_. “It may not be quite as powerful, or fertile, as being knotted, but it **_is_** possible.”

Jensen thinks of another theory, just off the top of his head; he doesn't know where it came from because all he can imagine right now is _knotting_ and _Jared_. “They could be abstaining penetration.” He takes one of his hands and slides the palm up his chest to cup the side of his burning neck. “Just, uhm...” Okay, he tried—-and failed. He—-officially—-cannot discuss sex around Jared...or at least when they're alone.

Jared smirks as he watches Jensen slide that hand over his face to cover both his eyes in embarrassment. He might as well pull the pin and throw the grenade. “Jacking off...or blowing one another.”

“ _How can you do_ ** _that?!_** ” Jensen raises his hands, shaking fists to the sky as he has to move around his desk, hoping he can hide his [semi-]aroused state once he sits behind his desk. “How can you talk like that—-so fucking technical—-” It's actually painful for him to take his chair, but he's sure he doesn't groan or moan too loudly as he's safely on the leather cushion, then awkwardly crosses his entire left leg over his right thigh. “—-an' make it sound like the pages of **Pethouse** or **Omega Twink Weekly**?”

Jared sputters out a laugh, quickly covering his mouth. “Sorry. I wasn't laughing _at_ you.” He clears his throat as he allows Jensen a few minutes of solace so he can deep breathe and situate himself more comfortably in his chair. He really doesn't want to watch Jensen suffer anymore. Jared waits a beat or two before he speaks up again. “Milo already asked me to talk Chad into a session.”

“You mean like what you did with Adrian and Milo?” Jensen settles an elbow on the armrest, then places his jaw against the hand.

“uh, yes...kind of.” Jared lifts his head, looking across to Jensen. “But it has more to deal with Chad, on his own, working through his issues.”

“Alone? I thought...” Jensen thinks that half of what Chad's going through stems from Milo's trauma. “—it wouldn't be better for him to have one of those sessions with us?”

Jared tilts his head from side to side, only because...he doesn't like bringing wounded pack members out in public. He would rather deal with Chad one on one, safely, where the Omega can work out his issues however he feels—-even if he has to punch and fight or scream at Jared. “Well, if I have the Omega's consent, sure. If I even knew half of the struggles Chad has faced on a daily basis.” Jared has a routine that he likes to follow, but then again...he's not supposed to be here. All these things he's doing for Ackles pack are off-the-cuff and things he's working through _in_ the moment; he has no time to actually plan anything like he would if they were real clients. “I'm walking in blindly. It's not...good to pounce on a wounded cub who's still licking his injuries.”

Jensen stops swishing his chair around, because it'll start to squeak soon and that'll get annoying. “You think this stems back to his childhood?” He can't recall if he's ever sat down with this Omega and found out what his past pack life entailed. Jesus...Jensen is learning he's been a bit too lax in treating his Omegas with some fairness, and he's supposed to be the head of the resurgence of Omega Rights in Pack Council.

There's something else warring inside Jensen's head, or heart, that Jared can't read too easily, and it's as if it weighs heavy on the Alpha's shoulders. He nods as he starts to talk, “I do, and so does Milo.” When he finally has Jensen's rapt attention—-those green eyes focusing on him—-he goes into an explanation of why they both think so. “When Milo guided Chad through his heat, he told me Chad has so much shit buried deep inside...he shut down, shut off...stopped talking.”

“mmm...that's not Chad.”

“That's what Milo said.” Jared smiles broadly, wanting the Alpha to know he was in-tune with one of his Omega. “Milo doesn't think Chad was abused—- _neither do I_...but he might have been neglected.”

“ _shit!_ ” Jensen swivels his chair around, so now he's not facing Jared head-on, but from the side of his chair, over an armrest. It's now easier to look straight ahead when he can't look at Jared directly, which is turning out to be quite often.

“—-which can mean _anything_ , Jensen. Don't assume the worst.” Jared's turned on his calmer and relaxed voice, giving out small smiles and smirks to show the Alpha everything will be okay, and he doesn't have to be afraid. “For an Omega, anything done to them in a negative light is tantamount to cutting off a limb...or stabbing them in the back.” What ends up startling Jared is when Jensen watches him from perching his jaw on his bent arm's hand and the intense look of concentration sent out to him to listen to every word he says about Omegas. “They wound quickly and easily, but they will never let you know that's what's happened. They know their place. They'll keep your secrets buried.”

Knowing this insight isn't making this situation easier to swallow. “Milo's setback has become one more checkmark for Chad to refuse to breed.” Jensen breaks eye contact, then lays back on the cushion behind his head, eyes blinking up at the ceiling beams. He licks his lips and takes several swallows; he's just not going to look at Jared when he mentions anything about sex. “Steve's willing to start entering the bedroom with Chris and Chad...an' Chris is at the end of his rope.” He hasn't heard a gasp or a snicker from Jared, so he turns his head while it's arcing backward. “He even thought about finding an Omega willing to breed, simply because he doesn't want to let the pack down.”

Jared slightly tilts his head so he can see Jensen's entire face—-it's a truly gorgeous face, the features quite striking and it's going to take several hours to catalog which items he likes best...lips, lashes, skin, eyes...freckles. “He doesn't want to let you down.” He needs Jensen to know it's a testimony to how he leads his pack when another Alpha won't do whatever he god-damn-well-pleases, but will follow obediently. So many of them don't, and then they butt heads and the packs, literally, rip themselves to shreds.

Jensen swivels his head back to looking forward, not able to stomach the idea that his stupid Alpha rules would somehow ruin a great relationship like what Christian and Chad have. “Don't say it like _that_.”

“You're _thinking_ it. _Ignoring_ it won't make it go away.”

“If one of my pack members feels this way, then they all do—- _to a degree_.” Jensen scratches at the side of his scalp, making a show of sighing heavily. “I can't have that weighing on my shoulders.” He actually lets his own shoulders slump a bit.

Jared quirks up one side of his mouth, having caught the subtle movement of the real shoulders. “More comments like that, I'll have to schedule you a session of your own.” His hands begin to itch—-not because of truly having to itch them, but...he's thinking about his hands on those broad shoulders across the way. He's studied extensively in the art of sensual massage—-it's what adds a certain kick to his sessions with pack members—-but he's never wanted to outright put his hands on anyone just for himself, to feel what they feel like, because he _needs_ to feel them under his hands.

“eh, I'll think about it.” Jensen gives out an encouraging smile, but he thinks he's let Jared know he doesn't want too revealing a session like he gave Adrian and Milo. “Once the 'pup' is here.” He knows it's more of a pat answer to let Jared know he's interested but just _not_ right now, and the more time that distances from this moment, he could change his mind. “I think by then the shit will stop hittin' the fan.” He laughs lightly, rubbing at his thigh as he now crosses his left leg over his right knee, not needing to hide an arousal of any sort.

“I'm curious...” Jared knows this is a wrong direction to take their conversation into, but he ** _is_** _very_ curious. Jensen threw the comment out there in the ether, but hasn't come back to it. “—-you said Steve's thinking of being with Chris and Chad. Exactly _what_ is his goal?”

“He didn't tell me, Sophia did.” Jensen doesn't lift his head; his thigh is still more interesting and it's easier to simply hear Jared's voice in his ear. “Seems my Betas have been bonding and sharing intimate secrets.”

Jared's eyebrows raise in slight bewilderment. Both of these Betas are rather...soft-spoken within the pack, and extremely lenient and obedient. It's odd that these are the pack members who are sexually adventurous. “ _Sophia_ wants a threesome, as well?”

“Tha's it?” Jensen does look at Jared, furrowing his brow in perplexity. It sounds like the Omega is a little too excited about the prospect. “Tha's _all_ you're gonna say?”

“A lot of polyamorous relationships thrive in a pack.” Jared shrugs his shoulders, telling Jensen he can't stop his pack members from feeling the ways that they do. Certainly not when he's asking them to grow close bonds between each other. “Sometimes even _out_ of the mated couples.”

“ _whoa-whoa-whoa_...” Jensen puts out a hand, palm forward, wanting Jared to not even—- **go there!** He was still trying to take in the idea of “threesomes”, now he has to think on that...well, he knew he didn't want that kind of mating for himself. Jared tugs, rubbing, on his ear and lobe in another sign of a nervous tick.

Jared sees the tell-tale blush begin to cover Jensen's face; the way he won't lift his head as he does that cute rub of his ear lobe. “I think it's great for mated couples, who want to explore and experiment, to act on their impulses. As long as both parties consent to the deviance out of their mating.” He's speaking as a spiritual guide for other pack members; he would never deny anyone the right to explore their sexuality within the pack life. Like a second chance if you fucked it up for yourself in college.

Jensen stops tugging and rubbing his ear, but still won't look at Jared. He doesn't know why he wants to know this—-well, he _does_ , but it's a left curve question he knows Jared won't expect. It's time to let the Omega squirm for once. “Is that what you'd want for yourself?”

Right away...Jared knows what Jensen is attempting; it's a good effort...but he's used to hardcore Alphas who bully and taunt him. Jensen is a mere kitten in this realm. “ ** _I_** don't matter in the equation.”

It's the proud tone in Jared's voice that makes Jensen back down so easily. He's going to return to being honest with Jared, like he's wanted to be. “Well, take it from me...my father—-he carried on with his Omegas, just like you mentioned and, while the pack never publicly saw the jealous rages or the petty fighting, you couldn't _not_ know _something_ had changed. I want different for my own pack.”

“And it ** _is_** different.” Jared finally pushes forward, sitting on the edge of his chair. “They want to explore the two mated couples together and it's the _Betas_ who are willing.” He needs Jensen to know he has to make a decision, to be supportive or to fight against the change. “That would've been half your problem to get full consent.”

“Steve thinks if he's there—-since he's closest to Chad _emotionally—-_ Chad'll be relaxed and susceptible.”

Jared nods his head, arms resting on his thighs as he lets his hands dangle between his knees. “He's right. I like his train of thought.” Jensen has this weird belief that _any_ deviance from normal sex and mated couples means that it spells trouble. How can he _not_ think it, it was how he grew up. Jared wants the Alpha to know it doesn't have to fail or make the pack suffer; it can actually be a way to improve morale and pack life. “It's what _we_ would do in a Omega Circle.”

“—- _if I had more Omegas_.” Jensen fills in the blank, knowing that's what Jared would've said since he stopped himself from completing the thought.

Jared shakes his head in disagreement. “It doesn't have to be _just_ Omegas. Everyone's invited as long as the Omega in the session is fully aware and consents.”

“You could do that?” Jensen swings his chair back around to face Jared. “For them? I mean...sounds _dirty_ , but... _what?_ would you have to be present to help Steve play third party to Chris and Chad, uhm...” He's trying to imagine the crowded bed or bedroom...trying to think back to the tub with Adrian and Milo, the way Jared guided them both—-will he do the _same_ exact thing or just... _ohcrap..._

“I can be, if they ask me.” Some packs don't mind a guide's presence, because they believe in the sacredness of having one during a ritual or a specific ceremony. If it's a typical pack, where members don't hold true spiritual beliefs or think with ancient pack teachings, then Jared simply trains them and gives them scenarios to play out or ways in which to be with each other. “I'm not going to offer myself without their willingness to be observed or touched.” Jared can see the sex talk has pretty much wiped Jensen out. He lets out the softest chuckle. “Are you okay?”

“No, but I'll be there eventually.” Jensen's already spinning his chair around to the other direction so he can shoot out and head toward the doors. He's still got both hands gripping the armrests tight. “I jus'...I'm a little envious my pack is having all the fun.” Jensen is giving false information, because all he's thinking about is where Jared is in all of these situations and...he needs a cigarette, though he's never smoked in his life.

Jared stands rather quickly, shaking out the jean legs over his lower limbs. “It can be fun, but it's also hard work.” He crosses his arms over his chest, then slides his left hip along Jensen's desk ledge until he reaches the end, where he turns to face Jensen. “The dynamics of pack individuals in the mated couples...” He watches Jensen groan out of his seat, looking down at the top of the dark blond head of hair. “—-everything has to be cohesive or you have one big mess on your hands. It'll get awkward...” It's as Jensen passes him, to head to catch the door, that he swiftly elbows the Alpha in his side—-a gentle ribbing. “—-and everybody avoids eye contact at the dinner table.”

Jensen lets out a hearty laugh, though he's opening the paneling to quickly use it as a shield. “Speaking of dinner...we should head on back.” He sweeps his arm past the doorway to direct Jared.

“Let me get this clear...” Jared slowly wandered over to where Jensen was standing, the Alpha's groin level at knob height. “...you want me to take Chad in for a session, but _not_ the pack?” He's still confused by which one they'll do first—-if they do the pack counseling at all.

“You mean like we discussed earlier?”

Jared drops one of his arms, extending his hand out to cup Jensen's right biceps. It's a simple hand on clothing, yet it burns and permeates for both men. “My offer still stands, if you want to take it.”

“I do, actually. But we heal the pack first, then think about working with Chad.”

Jared could only nod his head quietly, his mind in deep thought. He would rather work with Chad first, one on one, because he's afraid that if the pack starts to discuss things...Chad might begin to show his cracks and breaks in his well-kept facade. Jared's not going to stop Chad from letting out what he needs to expel...he hates the fact that the young Omega's session might happen in public after all.

==&&==&&==

Jared thought eating the meal with Milo's pack was particularly eye-opening. It's clear that each role didn't feel oppressed or superior over the other. None of them shy away from joking or teasing their lead Alpha and Jensen seems to take everything in, with a blush and a smile, sometimes a roll of his eyes, but he's extremely quiet and accommodating.

Jared spots dynamics right away: which ones are lovers, which ones are close friends and those who are still attempting to adjust to changing relationships. Jared could also detect that though they claimed to be close and as honest with each other as possible...the jabs and the taunts were clear signs that some—-particularly the Alphas—-had no idea what life was _really_ like for Omegas, not even for Betas. The Alphas went beyond their comfort zones to make peace, and they had open minds and hearts to listen, but Jared didn't think the privileged life and subsequent role of an Alpha afforded them the will to accept there were always going to be bad things out there, ready to fuck with their future.

To be fair, Jared believes that the Betas and Omegas keep their suffering like badges of courage and sometimes are able to trust their Alphas—-to see them beyond their statuses...as men, as human—- _real_. It has only been in the last two years of his work that Jared's been more capable of understanding the Alpha mentality; it has helped him immensely with the Omegas during sessions and rituals. Of course it helps when you have an Alpha who's willing to shed his ego and get his pride stomped on.

Jared sees quiet, subtle beauty in Jensen that goes beneath skin. He wishes other packs had lead Alphas who were this way—-an equal, not an overlord. Jared's been watching Jensen the most, mainly because he hasn't said one word throughout the whole meal. Others have, and when they talk, Jensen focuses on them, listening intently. He'll joke and play right back at them, then he'll look around the table at every face in his pack and alight with self-confidence.

Jared's stunned to figure out that Jensen is only twenty-eight; he acts like he's well-beyond his years. He has an old soul and a trust in ancient beliefs and teachings, though able to change them to his liking. It's shocking that Jensen has remained unmated—-no Beta or Omega—-and it worries Jared that Jensen seems more capable of helping out his pack members, but not his own self. In that way, Jared feels an odd likeness to the lead Alpha. He's never met another who has this same self-sacrificing manner, looking out for other's happiness and attempting to admit that they're pleased, nothing else was needed. That he and Jensen love seeing others happy which gives them inner joy and makes all their hard work worthwhile.

Jared hears a chair scrape backward and instantly he's on his feet, carrying a dirty plate, silverware and glass on the way into the kitchen. He doesn't comprehend why Chad chuckles at him with the sad shake of his head.

Sophia takes everything in Jared's hands to pile with her own. “Sit back down, Jared, we've got this covered.” She's at the kitchen archway with Steve.

Jared is confused because he's not used to Betas like Steve and Sophia. Not that they slink out of doing chores, but that they would automatically do the task with an Omega—-two Omegas—-at their table. He looks over at Jensen with a lift to his eyebrow. He's not sure if he has to ask for permission if he can help. He ate their food, they're letting him stay with their pack in their home and he's not busy...he feels it would be a waste if he just sat there and twiddled his thumbs.

Jensen takes a sip of his drink, leaving it up to Jared to make his own decision.

Jared isn't able to sit back down and chooses to pick up the two pans in front of him, with their potholders underneath. He's not caring how this looks—- _loser, ass-kisser, whatever_ —-he hates taking advantage of packs, even though he knows he's in their homes to help them. The Ackles pack isn't paying him to be here for Milo, or the future plans that seem to be arranging themselves with other pack members, he has to repay them for what they will give him.

Again, Chad scoffs at Jared's insistence to one-up him, trying to look like a better Omega in servitude. He doesn't understand why Jared can't observe that in _this_ house—-in _this_ pack—-Omegas aren't like chattel. They don't have to lower themselves to receive praise.

Jensen senses whatever Jared does bothers Chad—-that he can't ignore a table that needs clearing or dirty dishes that need washing. “Is there _something_ you need to get off your chest, Chad?”

“No, Alpha.” Chad bows his head, wiping his cloth napkin over his mouth to set down near his dirty plate.

Adrian and Christian pause in their dialogue across the table, both looking between Jensen and Chad.

“Funny...” Jensen twists the Ackles family crest ring around his finger. “—you look like you're about to blow a gasket.”

“I'm fine.” Chad's hands are tightening into fists on the table surface. “I jus' need to—-if it's okay, can I be excused from the table?” He gives a dazed look toward his lead Alpha, like he's about to throw-up. “I'd like to get some fresh air.”

“By all means...” Jensen isn't sure if he should let Chad storm off, but the kid looked about ready to puke or burst with rage. He doesn't want that in the house, not when nobody is even aware Chad's upset himself.

“Chad!” Christian attempts to grab for his Omega's arm before he bails.

“Let him go, Chris.” Jensen calls out to his brother Alpha. “He's livid.”

“What?” Christian is confused and...stunned that it all went down right beside him. “Where the fuck was I?”

==&&==&&==

Jared witnesses Chad's furious exit out the back screendoor, hearing the heavy _clomp-clomps_ of his shoes on the porch as the young Omega keeps on walking into the backyard. Without even a look toward anyone else or telling someone where he's going, Jared follows out the doorway.

==&&==&&==

Jensen wanders into the kitchen after a solid ten minutes. “Did Jared go back upstairs to check on Milo?” He sets down the bowl he carried in to “look busy” on his search for Jared's whereabouts.

Steve and Sophia both shrug their shoulders, looking closely at their lead Alpha.

“nah, not sure.” Sophia shakes her head, her brow furrowing.

“He's not with you?” Steve had some idea Jared left to go back into the dining hall.

“He was in here when Chad went—-” Jensen uses an index finger to point in the direction, but then lowers his hand. Instantly, his eyes go wide as he steps up to the screendoor. “ ** _Jesus!Fucking!Christ!_** ” He can see two bodies in the darkness of the backyard.

Sophia, Steve and then Adrian and Christina all pile onto the porch after Jensen opens the door.

“Man...” Adrian is narrowing his eyes to get a good look at what's actually going on. “—should we be out there—- _stopping this_?”

“No. I think Jared's a big enough boy to handle Chad.” Jensen almost talks proudly about Jared's stamina and strength.

“Damn, look at them. It's like they're two Alphas.” Steve crosses his arms, giving off a wry smile as he's impressed.

“We all agree...neither is a typical Omega.” Sophia keeps back a step, leaning against Steve's back for warmth and blocking the cold air.

“I like it.” Adrian's starting to sport a similar grin like Steve. “I like that they're all different—-stronger for opposite reasons. Even Milo.”

Christian nearly puffs out his chest with pride. “If you can say one good thing about Chad...he's passionate.”

“So's Milo...an' he's loving and attentive.” Adrian's not letting his Omega go down without a fight.

“Tha's not the 'passion' I mean, Adrian.”

“I know. I'm just saying that Omegas are complex, bro.”

Jensen's not sure they should be cheering either one of them on. “I don't think any of us realize how damaged some of them can be.”

They watch as Chad tries to bend and make a quick grab around Jared's waist, then they both fall to the grass in a mess, tussling and wrestling in a frenzy on the ground.

Steve holds back Christian. “Don't.” He steps up closer to speak into an ear. “I don't think this is an Omega you can control now.”

“What if one of them hurts the other?” Sophia's never seen the importance to this type of male “bonding”, though she's not sure Chad and Jared are truly in a “bonding” frame of mind.

Now one is even going to claim who does the other the injury they all think is coming.

Christian leans against a porch post, tucking his hands into his pockets. “Then we break them apart.”

“For now, let him be.” Steve doesn't want to command his own Alpha, but he _knows_ Christian...and he knows he'd try to make a move and fight with Jared—- _for Chad_.

Somehow Jared had figured out a way to flip and then bend Chad from the ground to an upright position, and then he had the younger Omega in a backward arm-lock, elbows bent behind like he was cuffed. Jared practically hefted Chad in the air, off his feet, then carried him across the lawn. He wasn't out of breath nor was he covered in sweat—-he was a little red in the face, but that was a given.

“ ** _Put me the fuck down, Jolly Green Giant!_** ”

Jared has stopped at the foot of the porch steps, as calm as ever, but disheveled and dirty from rolling on the grass. “Someone hold the door for us.

Chad attempts to kick at Jared with his swinging legs. “I can walk on my own two feet! Thank you!” He's unable to lift his head as he hates the way he looks in front of his Alpha—- _in front of his whole pack_.

Jared climbs up the three steps, walking through the doorway. “I need everyone to follow me... ** _now_**.” His voice isn't commanding, but it holds a certain sternness they shouldn't ignore.

Every eye swivels to look at Jensen, but he waits for them to walk over the threshold first; Jensen holds the screendoor open for them. It appears as if they will be dealing with Chad's session before they can even think of healing and grief counseling for the pack.

Jared carries Chad all the way into the informal living room. He's standing dead center of the floor, holding Chad tightly so he can't move or even fidget. “If I put you down, do you promise _not_ to bolt like a pussy?”

There's an audible gasp and then a tiny snicker from the pack as they file into the room and spread out.

“ _—'m not a pussy, you ass!_ ”

“Just say 'yes', Chad.” Steve softly requests of his Omega, since Christian only wants to watch.

And as quickly as Chad had fumed, he is easily docile. “ _yeah...promise._ ”

Jared lowers Chad, slowly loosening and releasing his locked arms. But he doesn't move away from Chad's back. In fact, his hands stay mid-air, right at the upper biceps. Jared's quite stunned by how much stronger Chad was than he had imagined. “Turn around. Face me.” He's deduced he can only speak to Chad in short bursts, because the Omega likes to monopolize a conversation, plus he likes to yell and shout, make his point heard...calling names and growling obscenities. It's better to be short and concise.

Chad complies, but with reluctance. He steps backward a few steps, unable to handle Jared being so close to him.

Jared simply covers that distance again, crowding Chad's space. He intentions are to make the Omega as uncomfortable as possible, to make him talk and speak out a truth he's been hiding for too long. “Empty your pockets. Take off every piece of jewelry. Step out of your shoes.”

“Fuck.” Chad chuckles, his body swaying as he starts with his shoes, doing everything backward. “What is this...involuntary rehab?”

Jared pauses, flinching a bit. The only way Chad would know something like that is if he had experienced it in his youth. He won't touch on that point until Chad allows him to reach that deep inside his past. “I don't want you to hurt yourself.” It's more that if Chad wants to wrestle or fight him again...the less he has dangling or dragging off his body, he won't accidentally harm himself. At this point, it's mostly self-preservation for Jared.

Chad sways again, off his socked feet, but catches himself. His brow wrinkling in thought. “Why would I hurt myself?”

“You tell me, Chad.” Jared swallows, not wavering his gaze off the young Omega's face. “Why does what I do piss you off this much?” When Chad takes off his necklaces, Jared holds out his palm. He begins to pile everything Chad gives him on the coffee table's surface. Jared uses his own foot to push the coffee table out of the way, making more floor space. He doesn't want Chad to feel cornered or trapped.

Chad hangs his head, now taking out the items in his pockets. He's heady from the rush of adrenaline through his body as it's tough to come down from that kind of natural high. “Well, I, uh...” He's not even aware that he's been carrying his switchblade in these jeans. One of his pack members makes a noise of shock. “Hey! I wasn't goin' to use it!” Chad looks at Jared. “I forgot I had it.”

Jared isn't taking any chances. He has Chad throw the folded blade to the floor; he kicks it away, out of Chad's reach. “Take off your belt.”

“Seriously? Just tell me to fuckin' undress.”

“That's the last of my requests. I want you comfortable...and relaxed. If you want to take off more, it's up to you.”

Chad does, but only his short-sleeved button-down, which leaves him in his blue tank-t. He hands belt and shirt to Jared. “—'kay...now what?”

Jared untucks his own Polo shirt, since it had already been tugged and yanked on by Chad when they rolled around on the ground. “You didn't finish...tell me why it pisses you off.”

“—-'cuz it's not _our_ way.”

“ _Whose_ way?”

“The Omega in this pack.” Chad folds his arms over his torso: one hand grabbing his opposite arm, one sliding along his rib cage. “We don't have to do shit, man.”

“No. **_You_** don't have to do shit.” Jared can see Steve is using his body to block Christian from coming at him. “Looks like Milo's doing all the work. If you were any kind of Omega, you'd pick up the slack and _know your place_.”

Chad's had enough. He advances on Jared. “ ** _oh, yeah?!_** _You gonna show me where my place is_?”

“Remind me?” Jared closes one eye to look up at the ceiling, turning an ear to hear what revelations Chad has to answer with. “What is it exactly that you do here that makes it impossible to replace you with another Omega?” He's not trying to goad Christian into reacting, but it's panning out that way. This is simply to rile Chad into sticking up for himself and then maybe admitting what his problem is with being an Omega. Jared is now pacing around Chad in a circle, like he did outside; he's looking Chad up and down, assessing him. But he's also spotting where everyone is in the living room area.

Chad's watchful of Jared moving around him, but he remains still. “I got... _connections_. I know _my shit_. I get it done for _my boy_.”

“ _Connections_? _Your..._ ** _boy_**?” Jared shrugs his shoulders, showing how unimportant that stuff really is. “Why would _any_ of this matter to the pack?”

Chad comes at Jared again, finger jutting out to almost hit the older Omega in the chest. “What I do matters, ** _you piece of shit!”_** When Jared doesn't respond to his put-down, he's on the attack...like he can bite and injure just like how he's feeling. ** _“Who the fuck do you think you are, huh?!_** ” Everything Chad does is grandstanding: his arms flail outward, he puffs his chest out like he's going to bump against Jared and he does this shifty dance with his socked feet, like he's threatening to go toe to toe with Jared in a boxing match. “Some magical hippy Omega who's gonna transform all of us into robotic minions who bow down and do your bidding? I say, ah-gain—- ** _who.thefuck.are.you!?!_** ”

Jared's not deterred from backing down at all. He's been with tougher Omegas...he's been against Alphas who've pulled guns and knives on him—this is all very basic to him, but different because it's the Omega who matters, not the session happening. “I'm no different than you, Omega. I just _know_ my place.” He means he knows when and how to behave, even if it doesn't sit well with modern Omegas who like to think they lean on traditions.

“ ** _No!”_** Chad barks into Jared's face, a little frustrated that the Omega didn't flinch or blink. “You know you're _enslaved_ —-jus' like pretty boy upstairs.”

“ ** _CHAD!_** ” Sophia exclaims with some shock.

“... _sorry._..” Chad has sense enough to hang his head, hands on hips as he knows he's getting out of control; he needs to rope in his emotions or find himself spinning down the drain. “You crazy headshrinkers are all alike. Putting words in my mouth. Getting me in such a state where I say things I don't mean.”

Okay, now Jared's certain Chad's been through some kind of therapy.

As Jared walks around him, Chad can't trust Jared not to just grab him, so Chad imitates the circling.

Jared releases a smirk of confidence, but he can see an opportunity where he can try and touch Chad. He, of course, gets his hand slapped away, but the Omega's willpower is lessening; he's running out of steam. There's too many sensations coming at him: Jared's words, Jared circling him and now Jared is trying to lay his hand on his arm.

Chad doesn't know which to let happen or which to fight against; he simply wants to be left alone. “ ** _STOP! TOUCHING ME!_** ” He gives one good shove of a crossed forearm against Jared's body, though he makes Jared stumble...he's right back to moving around Chad.

Jared knows he's reaching Chad's breaking point; he can see the cracks widening, about to break open. “All right, since that seems a sore subject with you, Omega...let's talk about Milo.” He slips out of his own shoes, but goes a step further to take off his socks.

“...—'m Chad—m'name's Chad...” Chad mumbles this out with the dip of his head. “—an' what do you wanna know 'bout Milo?”

“Why do you hate him so much?”

“ ** _Wha—?! I don't—!_** ” Chad looks flummoxed. It's an easy assessment since he doesn't like Jared's enslavement mentality and he thinks Jared and Milo are too alike. Chad puts out his hands defensively. “ _wait-wait_...yo...bro, tha's not what I meant.”

Jared raises one eyebrow in curiosity. “But it's what you _feel_.” Chad never would've used the word “enslavement” if he didn't feel like somehow being an Omega meant a different connotation to his mind-set.

“No it's _not_.” Chad acts offended, his eyes darting around the room to find Adrian, who can't bear to look at Chad—-not for the reasons the Omega thinks.

“You resent your Omega status.” Jared begins to rattle off the things he's found out about Chad. “You abhor the idea of being bred an' you sure as hell don't want to carry your Alpha's 'pup'.” He wonders how Chad will take this as it's everything in his head being throw back at him.

“... ** _n-n-n-no_**...” Chad stutters out, suddenly turning to face Christian and Steve. “ ** _No!_** He's _lying_. I don't feel that way.” He's taking footsteps toward them, and Steve no longer has to hold Christian back. The Alpha simply stands there, unmoving. Chad can tell Christian is stunned, because it's never been said out loud. “— _please, chris_...Alpha...” He tries to reach out a hand to lay on Christian, but Christian steps backward on instinct, like he's been slapped in the face. Instantly, Chad's huddling into himself like a lost, abandoned puppy. “I don't think that—- _I swear_. Not about you.”

Christian clears his throat, holding his chin high. “But you can't deny that you feel something about taking my seed and carrying my 'pup'... _our kid_ , man.” His gaze narrows on Chad. “How many conversations have we had, privately, where we've discussed the future—-the future of this pack...what our roles are, our roles as a mated couple, together? Was all of that ' _I promise I'll get better_ ' the same bullshit you feed them on the outside? **_Are_** you willing to ' _get better_ '?”

“— _yes_...” Chad chokes, the moisture behind his eyes finally escaping. “— _for you_...” Slowly he lowers to his knees, in front of his Alpha—-in front of his pack. He snatches Christian's dangling hand, holding it between his palms. He begins to rub his face against the skin—-he's publicly submitting to his Alpha. “... _please-please_...don'-don'-don't give up on me...don't give up on us...don't leave me...”

“ ** _Leave you!?!_** ” Christian quietly roars the words down into Chad's face. His hands tighten into fists, like he's ready to punch something...or someone. “You've no idea what I've done for you, so I can...” Christian sighs and shifts his head on his neck so he can prepare to make this admission in front of everyone. “—so I can walk around with a bit of dignity in this house that my own Omega will never let me knot him...”

And there it was...the top tier of truth. The consequences of Chad's deeper issues.

Christian stares down at Chad, who tries to look up at him under lowered lashes. Chad squeezes and soothes Christian's hand as the fists disappear, but Christian offers nothing in return. His face doesn't show disgust because an Omega—- _his_ Omega—-has made him look weak...he looks _disappointed_ that as far as he knew he has placed himself out there, Chad hasn't returned in kind. It will always be a battle and a struggle, though the dynamic will shift. Things will _seem_ fine, but then something will make Chad freak out and all of Christian's headway will got to shit.

Jared notices the Alpha sniffle, like he's warding off tears, as he tries to take his hand back. It's better that Jared pulls Chad away before he makes a spectacle of himself. He nods toward Christian that if he has to walk away, now was his chance. Jared can't promise it won't get uglier with Chad, or at last it will be ugly _for Chad_. He plants his feet on either side of Chad's folded legs. Jared's knees can actually grab onto Chad's torso. He places gentle hands on the Omega's shoulders, feeling the despondence, the sorrow.

In the bedroom, it was okay to hurt the Alpha, but taking the problem public was a different story.

“C'mon, Chad...get off the floor. Stand up.” The more Jared insists, the more Chad weakens, until he slumps to the floor as if he were a falling domino into the next.

Jared gestures with his head he needs everyone near Chad to move further out of the way. They can stay, if they want, but whatever Chad's dealing with will happen _wherever_ he sits himself.

“—-'m sorry...—'m so-so-sorry...” Chad's voice is soft, almost whispery, choking as he tries to swallow down his pain and misery.

Jared gently pats Chad's back; he's finally being allowed to touch. He takes advantage of the freedom and starts giving what looks like a back massage, but Jared crouches down to add caresses down the arms and along the ribcage. “...tell me what it feels like—-for you—-to be an Omega...”

“i's okay now...i's okay.” Chad's relaxing under Jared's hands.

Jared moves around Chad as he stays on his knees. “Can't complain, huh?”

“ _no-no_...for the first time...I'm in a pack that likes me...wants me aroun'...”

Jared nods his head. It's weird that what makes Chad happy is so simple. “An' you like them, right?”

“mmm, yeah...sometimes I...”

“Sometimes you—- _what_?”

“...sometimes I love 'em more than I love myself.”

Jared can tell Chad has a goodness in him, buried under all that macho-pretend-bullshit. “You do things for them.”

“yeah...they 'preciate what I do—-how I do what I do. I like it when I make them smile, or laugh.”

“They make you feel good.”

“They make me feel...like I matter.”

Jared feels the jab to his own gut. He knows exactly what this feeling is like. He has to clear his throat and swallow down his own emotions. “Well, you play an important role inside of this pack.”

“nah, man...” Chad shifts his legs from under his body, and stretches out to lay on the floor on his right side. His head lands on the hardwood flooring, cheek to the wooden slats. His eyes don't blink, he just stares dead ahead. “...I matter because I'm _Chad_ , not because I'm _Omega_.”

Jared sits down on the floor as well, leaning against Chad's body. “That's an important distinction for you?”

“yeah...” Chad begins to blink slow, then eventually shuts his lids. “—-too many fuckin' years of _not mattering._.. _no one caring_...”

This is getting a bit too real for Jared, but he has perfected this ability to shut-down and focus on his clients. “Bad relationship with another Alpha?”

“no—-my old pack life...my ma an' pops...” Chad licks his dry lips wet. “—-see they were this older couple...well, old by matin' standards...not like they didn't _want_ me, they jus' tried so damn hard to _make_ me...” He brings his arms up to curl under his chin and hold against his body.

Jared recognizes the fetal position, the way a pack member reverts back to the past, along with the painful memories. “You were an only child?” He starts to rub over Chad's hunched back, like a mother Omega would've done.

“Ma died in childbirth. Pops was... _destroyed_.” Chad's voice stretches the last word out until the last syllable hangs off his tongue.

Jared's begin to formulate the scenario, in his head, of Chad's old pack life. “Is he the one who left you alone?”

“nah, he tried his best. Tried to care for me. Even tried to mate again...Beta...Omega...'til he jus' kept fuckin' Omegas. Wasn't pretty. I'd be in my room—-stuck for hours, while I'd hear them show up at the door, thinkin' this nice, charmin' kat's gonna take them out on a date...he'd get them so horny for him, they'd give over their bodies—- _like common whores_...”

That comment alone tells Jared that Chad's never seen Omegas in a decent light since that time period...why he immediately refuses to bow to his own pack member status. “When did you find out you were Omega?”

“Same as everyone. I was outta my pop's house by then. My auntie couldn't stand to see me livin' in such a place.”

“Life got better?”

“eh, not by much.” Chad snorts out a stilted laugh; this wasn't really funny, but it helps him speak out. “My auntie was a Beta, had herself a nice rotation of Alphas. Never mated a single one of them. I think it's 'cuz she had one, way back in high school, but he died on her—- _tragically._ ”

Jared wonders if Chad had been around or aware of his Aunt's Alpha's passing; it would explain why he reacts to such extremes when tragedies strike. “How long before you lived on the streets, started hustling?” He doesn't know this fact for certain, but it's a good deduction since Chad's never been able to have a stable home-life with his old pack.

“hehehe...I hustled—-well, _conned_ is more like it.” Chad slides one arm along the floor to tuck under his cheek. These memories are more recent and he's a little proud of them; Jared can hear the confidence in Chad's voice. “They paid me to fuck them, suck their dicks, but I'd never follow through. Not an admirable way to make a livin', but I got the money that brought me out of bein' on the streets.”

“Is that around the time you meet your lead Alpha—- **Ackles**?”

“eh, somewhere aroun' then. I crashed a party...I did my con-thing, an' then I found myself unable to make a quick exit.”

Jared furrows his brow in concentration, trying to come up with ways to keep Chad talking. “A bouncer or a bodyguard found you?”

“No...there was this room...shut off from the regular party. Real laid back atmosphere...it was cool...Alphas, Betas and Omegas, jus' fuckin' jammin'...singin' and playin' instruments acoustically...”

Jared smiles down at Chad. “You like music a lot, don't you?”

“I _love_ music.” Chad closes his eyes again, like he just admitted he liked hot fudge sundaes—-his face lights up the same way too. “Of _all_ types. It speaks to me.”

“And this is when you meet—?”

Chad opens his eyes, lifts his head to search out where Christian has gotten to. “no...this is when I first fell in love with Chris...”

Jensen glances sharply at Christian, while Christian turns his head to look at Chad, then toward Jensen. “I swear...I didn't even see him...never scented him...”

Chad starts to sit upright, now on an elbow. “—-'cuz I didn't want you to. I was...” He bows his head in shame. “...heavily into suppressants. Not over-the-counter, mind you... _illegals_.”

“Your tattoo—-the back of your nape...” Jared caresses that _exact_ spot. “...that's your...” Chad must've gotten the tattoo to commemorate his ability to stay clean and sober.

Chad nods his head, averting his eyes but never letting his chin drop in shame. “7yrs sober. I'm finally getting' the shit outta my system.”

Jared looks at Chad, now coming to a conclusion about why he's had such difficulty with sex and his sexuality—-more importantly, his role as an Omega to his Alpha. “And your body's starting to feel like your own again?”

“yeah...i's not easy. They say some of the illegal stuff'll fuck your shit up for good.”

“Is sex painful for you?” Jared knows this can be one problem why he won't take his Alpha's knot.

“no...not once I get aroused and I can...if Alpha's close by an' attentive...not just, you know, trying to knot me like he'd die if he doesn't.”

Jared goes another route to learn more information. “Your first heats—-how bad were they?”

“Pretty bad. Like Milo's can be. I'll get physically ill with my body temps spiking to over 104.”

“...jesus...” One of the surrounding pack members just bursts out the word, then only more silence.

Jared doesn't pay the comment any mind, his focus is solely on Chad and working him back down. “What did you do, for yourself, to combat the side effects?”

“Cold baths...uh, pops had some toys layin' aroun'. When I was with my auntie, same thing.”

“Wasn't the same, though, huh?” Jared shoves Chad a little, knowing exactly what the Omega's introduction to his own sexuality had been like. He wants Chad to know he's not alone; he'll never have to be alone if he truly wants to be one of his pack.

“No, it never is.” Chad glances at Jared and shakes his head with a soft smile. “Believe me...I _want_ to be knotted, but I'm just not...” He's pulling his hands to his chest in the form of fists.

“You've never had the time to understand or explore your own body.”

“I swear I was still a virgin when I mated with Chris.” Chad opens his hands, releasing some tension as he talks more and more. “I guess I still am, if knotting is what makes us who we are.”

Jared disagrees with the shake of his own head. “Knotting is such a small part of an Omega's life. It can be important to some as how else would we receive our Alpha's sperm.”

“uh, there's that artificial insemination thing...like the New-Freedomers.”

“New-Freedomers don't breed their own Omegas.” Jared has to take a hard swallow, keeping his cool. “They use them as only wombs. The egg inseminated into the Omega is of the Alpha and his Beta.”

“ ** _No shit?!_** ” Chad a little disgusted with that imagery.

“No shit.” Jared smirks with a lift to one corner of his mouth, then raises an eyebrow. “So what would that mean for _that_ Omega? Are they _nothing_ because they don't 'knot' their Alpha?”

“No. Every Omega is somebody. Every Omega matters.”

“Go on, say it...” Jared juts out his chin, like he's daring Chad. “...' _I'm not nothing, I'm somebody. I matter_ '...”

At first, Chad simply says it with his regular voice, maybe a bit too quietly. “I'm not nothing, I'm somebody. I matter.”

“Good.” Jared likes it, but it's not quite what he wants to hear. “Little louder.”

“ _I'm not nothing, I'm somebody! I matter!_ ”

“Excellent.” Jared flourishes his hand in mid-air, pointing up to the second floor. “Now...yell it so Milo can hear you.”

“ ** _I'M OMEGA! I'M NOT NOTHIN', I'M SOMEBODY! I MATTER!_** ”

“You've had a nice breakthrough, Chad.” Jared clamps a hand over the young Omega's shoulder joint. “Is it okay if we try to continue with this... _dialog_ , while I'm here?”

Chad nods his head, smiling shyly. “ _yeah-yeah_...if it's no bother.”

“You won't be bothering me.” Jared presses his hand on Chad's knee. “Remember how much you matter. Especially in this pack...to your Alpha, your Beta. You'll get exactly what you've been searching for, if you only let them in.”

“—'kay, I promise. I _really_ promise. Ain't no joke.”

Jared stands, holds down a hand to help Chad climb off the floor. Once he has the hand and Chad is on his feet, Jared tugs Chad into his chest, securing arms tight around the Omega's body. At first, Chad is stiff, not sure how to react. But Jared cups his hand at the back of Chad's head and hands caress to soothe over his back—-Chad goes with his gut reaction and embraces Jared just as tight, then buries his face in the taller Omega's neck. He feels Jared's warmth, and he senses a need to burrow in Jared's enveloping arms.

Jared motions over the rest of the pack...and once he's able to ease out of their huddle around Chad, Jared inches away and quietly uses the back door to get some fresh air he's been needing for awhile.

While Jensen wants to offer Chad his own hug of support, his eyes are glued to Jared’s retreating figure. As the screendoor slams shut, Jensen has some inkling that Jared is sitting on the porch, not too far away, decompressing. He leaves his pack to handle Chad, giving an encouraging squeeze to Christian, who's waited for his opportunity to hold his Omega closer.

Jensen slowly opens the door, looking right, then left and sees no sign of Jared. Then he hears the water spicket on the side of the house sputter and gurgle. He follows the line of the garden hose to see Jared watering the vegetable garden. Jensen jumps off the porch and takes a determined stroll toward the Omega. The closer he gets he realizes Jared has watered himself down before having turned the hose on the planted seedlings.

Jared knows that it's Jensen coming toward him—-the intense warmth, the scent...the hairs that raise on his body. “I always wanted a garden. A flower garden, not vegetable. Though, I can see the benefits for the pack. Saves you money at the grocer.”

“It's because my Betas are such good cooks.” Jensen feels like he has to tread lightly or Jared with skitter away. Or not react at all. “They think fresh veggies are best.”

“Snobs.”

“Exactly.” Jensen chuckles softly, hating that Jared's so far away, standing in the middle of the garden with his bare feet embedded in the soil. He's still a little stunned by what he just witnessed happen in his own house, to his Omega...and now he knows why Jared had wanted to take Chad away to work with him alone. It was agonizing to watch unfold, though it also kept him mesmerized—-mainly because he watched Jared through the whole session, only listening to Chad. “I'm beginning to admire and respect what you do. I think I half-ass what you do naturally. I'm screwed because—-fuck...I'm an Alpha. I've been one all my life. I was raised on Alpha mentality. But I also knew the ways to honor Betas and Omegas. You're right...Omegas _do_ matter...each pack member matters, but not for what they are...it's who they are.” Jensen is nervous, he's rambling a bunch of nonsense Jared already knows.

“He'll be fine, Jensen.” Jared gives off a smile he never shows to Jensen. He can sense the Alpha's need to be around him, like he's excited and he wants to babble about a bunch of things going on inside his head. Jared is done listening and talking for tonight. He'll speak long enough to appease Jensen. “Chad may seem like he's always gonna ride the joke out or play the long con, but he knows he's hated this...what he's turned into. He's been scared to let any of you know—-even Milo—-because he's never mattered to anyone or been made to feel he's part of a pack. I wish every family did things the same way. That they treated each other with some dignity, but...the real world invades pack mentality daily. We're freaks and weirdos...perverts and sinners...we're looked down upon because we're never gonna live like them.”

“How many New-Freedomer packs have you worked with?”

“Enough, but...I was born into one.”

“You...are a New-Freedomer?!” Jensen never would've have assumed Jared had grown up in that pack mentality.

“No.” Jared shakes his head, showing his back to Jensen. “I don't declare any pack mentality as _my_ way. Call me non-conformist. I do what I want, when I want.”

“—- _with whomever you want_...” Jensen really needs to think about beating a hasty retreat or he'll dig himself into a deeper hole. It feels like Jared is “checking out”of their conversation—-if there ever had been one to have.

“huh?” Jared glances lazily over his shoulder.

Jensen calls out, over the sound of the water spraying. “That's how the saying usually ends.”

“yeah? Well...I don't belong to anyone. I do fine on my own.”

“Do you have to do this...” Jensen gestures to Jared being wet, barefoot in his pack's garden watering it at night. “...for every session you do?”

“No.” Jared's collecting up the loose line of the garden hose to wrap around his arm. “Just the ones that strike a little too close to my own life.”

“Okay...well, I was just worried about you.” Jensen realizes Jared isn't going to come out of the garden soon, not if _he_ sticks around. “I know you're here for Milo and...I wanted you to know how thankful and grateful I am, and that I'm concerned about you. Tell me when this is too much, I'll get them to back off.” He waits for Jared to say something, and when all he gets is more of Jared's backside he says, “Good night, then.”

Jared feels the coolness of the night air, and the sudden loss of Jensen's scent the minute he was at the porch steps. Chad's session opened too many old wounds. It's why he doesn't do many of these with Omegas: Alphas and Betas were fine. Jared lets the hose go, then drops to his ass on the ground. He pulls up is legs to his chest, resting his arms on his knees and then he lowers his head as if to say a prayer or meditate.

==&&==&&==

Jensen isn't able to tear his gaze away from the sight as he walks backward into the kitchen.

“Is he all right?” Sophia moves to stand by Jensen's side, watching Jared with him.

“I think he's trying to be. Or attempting to make us think he is.” Jensen braces his hand on the door frame. “I've never met an Omega like him before.” He hopes he never meets another one, either...Jared will do just fine for him.

“I like him.” Sophia nods her head on a solid bounce. She still wiping away residual tears from her face, with a dishtowel, where her make-up smudged. “I'm liking him more an' more. Tonight assured me he knows his shit—-he knows the pain of an Omega.”

Now Jensen is leaning on the thicker back door, letting Sophia move so she doesn't have to peer over his shoulder. “I don't think we'd've gotten half as deep into Chad's past on our own.”

“I wish he'd let us repay him.”

Jensen snorts out a soft laugh. “He says we are: a bed to sleep in, food to eat and a roof over his head.”

“I'm stunned that he's not found a pack.” Sophia is a little more concerned about this fact than she lets on.

“Or that no Alpha has seen how worthy he is of being theirs.” Jensen stares out at Jared's hunched and still frame on the ground, wishing he could be out there with the Omega. Or at least bring him into the house, where he could give him his own room to settle down in, like he's doing outside.

Sophia frowns a little, her arms fitting around her own body to keep warm. “I've a feeling it has _everything_ to do with Jared.”

Jensen is looking between Jared and Sophia, hoping to share some helpful insight. “An Alpha won't pursue if the Omega shows even the slightest disinterest. But if he sees that the Omega is simply hesitant, reluctant, and still feels the want...he won't crowd but back away to give him space.”

“I'm sure that Omegas know right away if the knotting will happen or not.” Sophia knows it's the same with Betas. Alphas are completely dependent on knowing when or if they can knot their mates. “Tell me a truth... _if_ you could, _if_ he were willing... _would you_?”

“In a fuckin' heartbeat.” There's nothing in Jensen's voice that shows any of the nervous ticks or gives out an ounce of his tendencies for low self-esteem.

Sophia knows she's never heard her lead Alpha speak with such confidence before, his gaze never wavering off the solemn and lonely Omega in the distance.

==&&==&&==

 **TBC...**


	7. Chapter 7

Since that night with Chad, Jensen accommodates Jared in ways some in his pack feel are obvious attempts to show the Omega he's more than a guest in their house. If Jared needs a formal room to talk in, Jensen offers his office. If Jared needs to use his Jacuzzi tub, Jensen leaves his bedroom door wide open. Jensen has even offered a set of keys to Jared, but he declines because he'll do without or simply ask Chad to chauffeur him places, if he's around. Jared's embarrassed to admit he hasn't driven himself anywhere in several years; he knows it's just like getting back on the bicycle and riding again, but he just can't find the energy left to adjust this one detail.

Jared has returned to checking emails and his iPhone, learning that in a few weeks, after the month holiday he requested is over, he'll start back up with his usual appointments. Since he travels a lot to packs' private residences, in great distances, he uses a car or a company jet at his disposal, but for the most part the car is always sent to pick him up, no matter what. He never knows addresses or recalls directions. In fact, the windows inside the car are permanently blacked-out. If a pack needs his services, the most discreet measures are taken. Packs don't want personal business on display.

Jared has begun casual sessions with Chad. He's grateful Jensen makes the offers he does, but he's built a method with the younger Omega that defied the confines of a therapy room or a true “session”. He's learned Chad is most comfortable at home, on the basketball courts or inside the recording studio. They have long talks and frequent frank discussions. Jared has to know exactly what Chad wants, and needs, out of sex with his Alpha, but he has to understand the fears too.

By now, Jared has opened up a line of communication with Steve, hoping to eventually discuss what he will want out of a threesome—if they ever reach that extreme with Chad. If it's going to happen, Steve needs to make his role a solid one in his mind; his body will want more and try to change the moment, but he has to be honest with himself. Was the threesome going to be for Chad, and his recovery, or was it about Steve's own fears?

Eventually, Jared is hoping to reel Christian into discussions. Right now, the Alpha is on a small city tour, because of the radio airplay he has gotten with his new single. Christian thought it would be best he left for the first leg of his road tour, allowing things to settle down, let Chad regroup and give himself time to grips with some hard truths. It's going to be another week before Chad's heat cycles and...Jared's not sure everything will be straightened out by then. He's already asked Chad if he wants him to help get through the approaching heat, but Chad can't give him a straightforward answer. Chad's leaving the possibility open for Christian to finally knot him. He's not even aware of Steve's offer to join his Alpha and Omega in the bedroom...Christian knows, and the next day he was on a non-stop flight with his band, KANE, to Austin.

Jared has still been working with Adrian and Milo. More so with Milo since he is Jared's sole reason for being here with the Ackles pack. He does a morning bath with mother and 'pup' and then an all-over body massage to release toxins and erase built-up day-to-day tensions. Already Milo has encroached suddenly on his sixth month of gestation, and he and the 'pup' couldn't look, or act, healthier...or be any happier.

Jared's spending more time alone, by himself, letting Milo have some much needed quick excursions outside the house, and without his mother-henning. Chad has been a huge help in this area, but Jared knows the younger Omega offered himself as driver and companion for his brother Omega simply because he was trying to build-on or rebuild what he thinks he damaged or lost. Jared's never going to deny the Omegas a chance opportunity to make their bond even tighter, closer...even if he does feel like the third wheel.

On one of Milo's trips outdoors, he bought Jared a bona fide massage table; it's portable and can be easily assembled anywhere in the house. Mostly it stays in Milo's room. Today's bath for Milo was short, for some reason he didn't want to stay too long in the water and Jared could feel the agitation in not only mother, but also the 'pup'. Something was weighing heavy on his brother Omega's mind and Jared was going to open up their usual dialog so he could change the subject to eventually get to Milo's problem.

When Milo comes out of the bathwater, he likes to stay fairly naked; he's still ashamed of how his upper body and belly look. It's a typical reaction, especially for male Omegas in their later trimesters. Their upper chests are swollen—though not as engorged as the female breasts would be—and their stomachs look huge against what once used-to-be washboard abs. Milo's not waify or super-thin, but the mound is prominent on his frame—like he's carrying around a low-seated basketball. So Milo has brought out his Traditionalist old pack robes and gowns. If he's home for the day, he likes the gown because he doesn't have to wear pants that have the bothersome elastic around his waist; he can wear his low-cut boxer briefs and be comfortable. The robe is rather thick and extravagant, but sometimes it's the best thing to use to ward off chills from wearing the below-the-knee-length gown.

Jared finds it odd, that with him, Milo has been a little less embarrassed about his body, so he wonders how it's been with Adrian. Does Milo let his Alpha see him completely naked or does he use the shelter of darkness when in bed to help hide the subtle changes?

Milo's laying on his table, in just his briefs and several hand towels covering parts of his half-naked frame...belly is exposed. Whenever Jared begins the massages, Milo tends to move around and stretch; it's only natural since the mother feels the “good vibes” being given to mother and 'pup'. Milo likes to extend both arms above his head, so his back arcs in a slight curve; he's had such pulsating aches of lower back pain and these massages tend to alleviate those aches. A hand towel covers his upper chest and another is sectioned over his lower limbs, starting from just under the protrusion of his stomach. He's had a thought—a curious questions, really—eating at his mind the last few nights and he's been wanting to ask Jared's opinion, too frightened that his brother Omega might say, “ _oh, hell, no_ ”.

Milo knows this idea never would've struck him unless he had Jared's daily guidance and sessions—his mind always veering toward sex and intimacy. He's been so out of touch with a lot of things lately, he seriously _does_ need the guidance Jared can give. Just like with his nudity during the pregnancy, Milo is embarrassed by what he wants to ask, so he tugs on the hand towel to draw the material halfway up his face.

Jared assumes the overhead room light is too bright, so he goes over to work with the dimmer switch, then returns to place palms around the upper and lower curves of the 'puppy mound'. He lifts one side of his mouth in a small smirk as he catches Milo's attempt at, literally, hiding from him. He thinks that maybe his massages bring too much energy to his brother Omega, so he'll tone it down some.

Milo clears his throat, licking dry lips, then trudges on with what he needs to say, “I wanna have sex with Adrian.”

Jared is startled from the quiet statement. “ ** _Now?!_** ” It's a tease, he's truly not that oblivious.

“ _No, silly!_ ” One hand just comes out to swat Jared—right on the left hip and curve of butt cheek. Milo remains under the guise of the towel. “I want him to want it too. I'm afraid he'll think he'd hurt me. Or the 'pup'.”

“You can't wait 'til after the 'pup' is here?” Jared knows that's a stupid question, but with everything Milo had been through this isn't the direction he thought he'd ever go with his brother Omega. He doesn't want to think about the Alpha possibly pressuring his Omega to want to have sex or to even knot, so he's going to think this is all stemming from Milo.

There's a deep sigh heard, then a smooth clearing of the throat. “I've always been close with him. Not that it's been sexual all the time, but there's a close intimacy we have.” Milo drops the hem of the towel to rest below his dark eyes, directly over his nose. “We've gotten that back with your help. I know it's been a strain on Adrian, all those long hour days at the office to come home utterly drained.” He finally feels like he can tug fully on the material to reveal his face. It's just Jared stands there, not moving, but with his arms crossed at his back, like he's at military parade rest. “I want him to have something _good_ to come out of all of this...” Milo sweeps his hand around like the “this” floated in the air.

Jared seriously doubts this has much to do with Adrian, and if it does, Milo is possibly feeling the same way his Alpha is. “The 'good' is that you and the 'pup' are healthy and safe...” He takes out one hand to swipe down his face. “—and on your way to full-term.”

Milo rises to his elbows, dropping the towel wherever it falls. “But I wanna give him my body— _fully.”_ It's tough to explain to an Omega who doesn't have the same feelings he does for his mated Alpha, or one who is mated, plain and simple. He knows with his brother Omega he has to be open and straightforward, no attempt to beat around the bush. “I want him to be inside me.” Milo sees Jared swallow, avert his head and try to “look busy” down near his legs. “Sometimes it's like...when I'm with him, I can't get close enough.” Maybe these revelations will show Jared how serious he is.

Jared's never known what the feeling is like so he gives his brother Omega the benefit of doubt. “Well...sex during pregnancy isn't taboo or unheard of.” He thinks if he speaks clinically he won't try to give out his personal opinion. He doesn't have an Alpha of his own, nor is he carrying a 'pup' and filled with raging hormones. “It's more rare to want to knot.”

Milo now sits upright, drawing his legs away from Jared's hand to pull one, bent, to his body, then dangle the other down to the floor. “I want it to be Adrian's choice. Seriously...” He softly chuckles as he stares at Jared, wishing he'd look at him and stop avoiding eye contact. He can tell the _real_ Jared is trying to come out, instead of the Omega spiritual guide. “—I'll take _anything_.”

Jared wanders around to the end of the table, arms folding over his chest to flex his biceps. He's wearing just a simple V-neck t-shirt and Khakis shorts, no shoes or socks. “How long have you been feeling like this?” He's curious, because he hadn't picked up on this particular feeling until today. It proved to Jared that there were too many distractions—one in particular—in this house creating a chaotic space he couldn't work in.

“eh...a long-long time, months before I got sick.” Milo drops his gaze to the table, his mind reverting back to the long-ago memory. “We tried, _hehehe_...both of us not sure of anything.” He motions to his chest whenever he mentions himself. “Me scared for him and him frightened for me and the 'pup'.” A wayward hand rolls over the bare belly, arm secure around the mound. “I know he's been... _eager_.” Milo doesn't want Adrian to appear like he's a horny Alpha—because he's not—he's simply so in-tuned with his Omega, that he feels Milo's energy, his wants and needs...then tries to accommodate, even though he knows it might fail or flop. It's what he loves most about Adrian, how willing he is to be there, in any capacity, then not embarrassed at all when it never works out to be the spectacular event it was fantasized as. “I always feel it in him—from his body, his kisses and his touch.” Milo needs to get out of his head, because he'll start to veer off-topic and he knows Jared isn't ready to hear him wax poetic—yet, again—about how good he has it or how in love he is with his Alpha. He connects eyes with Jared, knowing that if he includes it with his in-progress sessions, he might have a better chance of an approval. “I feel so much better than I ever have an' I think it'll be what comes next for he and I to hurdle over. I still think he feels a bit 'left out'.”

Jared sighs, only because it was sneaky of Milo to work it into his sessions, but then again...Milo is still Milo. “I'm not going to say 'no', because you know how I am about an Omega's pleasure and happiness.” He juts his hips out to hit the end of the table, then leans over to let his hands grip the edges of the cushioned portions. It's like he's not trying to avoid those dark eager eyes begging for his approval anymore; he's staring Milo right in the face. “I'll leave this for you to decide. If it's something that _might_ happen, once you open the conversation with him, I'll try to see if there's any cause or reason for me to observe or be involved.”

Milo detects there's a bit of a worried look passing over Jared's features. “If the process will run smoother or...you can share your energy with us to make our coupling...better, in any way...don't feel like you can't be there.” He's a little ashamed of having sunk to such a low to get Jared to even _consider_ the thought of approaching the prospect. “You've taken us this far. I think Adrian will be fine—I already don't mind if you're there.”

Jared pushes off the table, then walks around to pick up all the towels Milo dropped. “—okay, so...talk it over with Adrian, first, then get back to me.”

Milo's smirking broadly as he watches Jared not only gather the towels, but also the bed clothes Milo slept in and a few other things just laying around. “What's that, like...the _second_ scheduled sexually intimate ceremony with my pack?” He already knows about Chad and the possible “first knotting” while in heat, but he's not aware of Steve or Sophia wanting threesomes with their mates.

“Oh, no...” Jared's piling the growing laundry on his arm. He's trying to remember if there's enough to do another load or two today. “...try...the _third_? Possible _fourth_?”

“oh?” Milo raises both eyebrows in curiosity. _Mymymy._..he's got a randier pack than he once thought.

“yeah...” Jared gives a short laugh with the shake of his head. “I don't want to say—well, it's not professional of me to blab, but... _nothing_ has been decided yet. Like yours, it's all tentative—up-in-the-air.”

“It's not you and Jensen, is it?”

“ ** _No! Me and Jen—?!_** ” Jared swivels lightning quick, his eyes flashing outrage toward his brother Omega's assumption. “What in the world makes you think I'd schedule a session for _myself_ with your _lead Alpha_?” He's not prepared for any teases or taunts about Jensen these days.

“oh, I don't know.” Milo shrugs nonchalantly, his tongue pushing into his cheek as he tries not to smile too wide. “I'm fully awake these days. Now that I can walk around a little more, step outside, lurk in the house...in shadowed corners...I see _things_.” He shoots two fingers, like a peace sign, toward his eyes in Jared's direction. “I'm also very much aware that _someone_ is kind of 'hooked on' _someone else_.”

“ ** _I'm not—!_** ” Jared plops down with some frustration to the bench at the end of Milo's bed frame.

“I know it's not you.” Milo almost snorts out a chuckle. “I'm talking about Jensen, man.”

“Jen—? Wha—? I'm not sure what you mean?” Jared knows exactly what Milo means, but he's trying not to let it be anything more than a 'passing fancy'—two unmated pack members caught in a strange circumstance.

Milo's going to throw the thought out there, let Jared take it as he hears the words. “I think our lead Alpha's got a crush on you.”

“ ** _A crush?!_** ” Jared looks mystified, like he's been trying to notice what Jensen _really_ feels for him without the pack or these damn sessions in the way.

“If not...he obviously likes you a helluva lot more than he's ever liked other Omegas, male or female.”

“Where the hell am I? How do you see these things?” They're in the same house, sometimes in the same rooms, spending every hour together...Jared's way-too curious than he should be. “Every time I look at him...all I see is **_him_**.”

“Dummy, it's when you're _not_ looking, when you're least aware _he_ looks.” Milo slowly turns to sit off the side of the table, legs dangling down as he swings them. He puts out his grabby hands for Jared to throw him the traditional gown he's going to dress in for the day. “Even when you're not in the room...stepping out with Chad.” He doesn't know what to think when Jared actually bunches the gown's thick material in his two beefy hands and stands to walk over, like he's going to help Milo put the gown on. “Watching his face when your name's brought up...hell, it looks like my lead Alpha is day dreaming.”

“No, you're the fool...” Jared nearly slams Milo's head through the wide collar, then shakes down the material so the sleeves' holes can be felt underneath. He knows his brother Omega isn't an invalid, but he does know he doesn't like his body to be naked for too long. “... _okayallright_...be lustfully in love with your puppy's Alpha daddy all you want, but don't project false affections where you know there are none.” Jared's back over sitting on the bench, now re-gathering the clothes into his arms, like a protective ball.

“How do I know _this_?” Milo screws up his face in doubt as he tugs the gown over his torso and belly; he'll need to jump down off the table to let the material drape lower, but he's cool how he's seated. “An' how would I know they aren't there already? There's nothing and no one disapproving of you being in this pack, mated to Jensen.”

“ ** _It's different!_** ” Jared doesn't mean to bark at Milo, but he's getting a little shaken by this constant pushing he feels to make a move... _or else_.

Good thing about Milo is, he barks right back, but he doesn't get pissed or angry unless provoked; these are just words being said. “ ** _How fuckin' different can it be!?_** ”

“Right now I'm here to help.” Jared is already feeling that Milo's been trying nothing all these long weeks but to break him down until he cracks open. He's trying to put up a good, professional front, but he's never been that strong when it comes to Milo. “I'm guiding each of them through issues, bringing them close as mated couples, as a pack. It's what I would be doing for any other pack and its members in their same positions.”

“ ** _Bullshit!_** ” Milo hops down off the table, balancing on his feet quite effortlessly, even though Jared nearly sprang off the bench to come toward him.

Jared takes his hands back, seeing that Milo was perfectly fine. “ ** _Gesundheit!_** ”

“Why do you do _this_?” Milo shook his hips a little to let the gown shimmy down his body and cover his legs as he bends forward to pick up the heavy robe. “Why do you keep denying yourself the right to having a life?!”

“I have a life.” Jared murmurs as he averts his head away from Milo, knowing that once he was situated in the robe that his brother Omega would go on the attack—only verbally.

“But it's not even a life of your own.” Milo loosely does the tie so it doesn't cinch his waist, but he does it forcibly in frustration toward Jared. He feels like the parent now, scolding his petulant child. “It's a life living vicariously through other Omegas, being in different packs that will _never_ be yours.”

“Stop it...” Jared puts his hand, then sets down the clothes on the cushions. “... ** _jus' stop!_** don't—” He has to stand and wander off, making his way toward the spot at Milo's window that looks over the backyard, granted it's a good niche away from anyone looking into the room, but Jared needs to not hear this now. Not hear how he may have ruined ten years of his life or wasted them doing something less worthwhile than he once believed. “—I don't mind, Milo.” He should've known Milo would be trailing right behind him, arms crossed and a fierce determination in his face. “Why do you think this isn't the life I want?” Jared looks over at his brother Omega, leaning casually against the back of his chair.

“It's **_her_** , isn't it?” Milo lowers his voice so Jared doesn't flinch like he knows he will with the quick change of subject.

Jared whips his head around again after glancing out the window, crossing arms over his body as his tilts in curiosity to hear what Milo is going to say. “What?”

“Your mother.” Milo walks to the other side of the window casing, leaning against the wall. “Not Sherri, but your mother Omega...the one you thought was really yours...” No one but Milo knows the private pain and torture Jared inflicts on himself because of the guilt, and shame, he's been living with. “—the one who carried you.”

“I don't— ** _no!_**...” Jared isn't sure what Milo's attempting to wheedle out of him, but he knows it's going to hurt. “I don't know what you mean...” It's a hard gulp at the end of that sentence.

Milo leans forward, hand immediately clamping around Jared's bunched forearm. “ _jesus christ_ , man, it's time to forgive yourself.” He finds it weird that Jared keeps trying to back up when he knows there's only more wall behind him. It's clear this is still unresolved for Jared. “Set yourself free. Stop forcing a useless penance for what was out of your—and her—control.”

“I'm not...” Jared swallows, then swivels his head to look out the window again, hoping something moving or shifting in the distance will catch his eye. “I want to be here for _them_. I **_do_**.” He knows Milo doesn't believe him or at least he thinks his brother Omega is aware this job is wearing him down. “It helps me heal.”

“It _used to_ , bro, I know that for a fact. You _used to_ be happy.” Now Milo's got both hands around Jared's arm, pulling closer where their bodies touch—at least Milo's belly manages to brush against Jared's clothing. “You _used to_ shine this light off yourself—like a glow at the idea you could save lives, save Omegas...hell, save packs. Now...” He shakes his head in mild sadness, knowing the exact type of pain Jared must be suffering—the same one he feels in denying who he truly is for the sake of having the life that he does, with the Alpha he loves, the Beta he adores and the pack he can't live without. “...there's a dim light leftover and I can see _you_.” It's taken Milo long enough to realize he's finally seeing the _real_ Jared and not this pseudo-brother Omega attempting to guide his pack members to healthier and happier lives. “I can see _you_ now and...you don't want this _other_ life...you want what ** _I_** have to be **_yours_** someday. You want to be where I am...settled in a pack, warm in the embrace of family and your Alpha's love, your belly ripe with a 'pup'...or 'pups', since twins run in your pack...”

“This life isn't for me, brother.” Jared doesn't like being cornered like this; he's liable to snap. “It was never in my destiny to be like you.” He wonders if Milo can sniff out the lies as they fall out of his mouth. “I was singled out of my own family. I had no one on my side 'til I came into your pack. Even then, it still wasn't mine to have.” Jared's hazel gaze is steady on Milo's wild and darkening one, knowing he's making his brother Omega more furious. “I've never felt what other Omegas feel when they're around their mated Alphas. Sure, I get stirrings...I go into semi-heats, but it's not like it's supposed to be.”

“Since when?” Milo takes away his hands, lifting his chin high as he turns an ear to Jared's voice.

“huh?”

“Since when have you been this way?” Milo is serious about wanting to know this fact, because he can't recall a time Jared's ever come out and told him something of this kind of importance. “I was with you during your first heats, remember? You suffered just like me and you got through the ceremonies the same as me.” He nods his head slowly as the memories of that time period rush back to him. “Yes, I left with Adrian to be his mate, but...you stayed behind another year, able to 'take care of' yourself until they found you a mate.” Milo waits to be told so, because this is what he assumed had happened in the wake of him leaving home—leaving his old pack. “ _please_...don't- _don't_ tell me...” Jared's averted his head completely around, he's now directly facing the window; there's been entirely too long for a better answer than Milo's expecting. “—jesus...what happened, Jared?”

Jared drops his chin to chest, lowering his hands to rest on the sill. “It wasn't my pack, man.” He can't look anywhere but out the window, toward freedom.

“What did they do?” Milo is huddling closer, not crowding, but sidling his body to keep Jared where he stands so he doesn't try to bolt. “The lead Alpha...what did he do?” His hand is poised at Jared's back, ready to touch when it's best to comfort.

Jared stares through the glass, his mind slipping back in time as if he can still hear the dreaded words being uttered in the wake of Milo leaving. “I could stay one more year, my 17th, but then I had to leave or find a mated Alpha.”

“So...they forced you to mate?” Jared won't look at him so Milo thinks the opposite. “Did they force you _to leave_?”

“No. ** _I_** left. Of my own choosing. I went back to my family.”

“ ** _holy shit!”_** Milo bunches his right hand into a fist, Now he's pounding on the casing, shaking his head in stunned shock. **_“_** _nononono_...that can't be.” At the time, he had only an inkling of staying with his old pack—until Jared reached his mating age—or taking Jared with him. But he couldn't; he had been too scared to ruin his relationship with Adrian that soon, but vowed he'd return at some time. Boy, had that vow escaped him or what. “By that time, your second mother Omega was sick, wasn't she?” Milo's fitting all the mixed up pieces together. “An' you stayed to be the new Omega... _jesusfuckingchrist_!” The fist is now against his mouth before he screams more obscenities any louder.

“It's wasn't bad. I wasn't **_the_** Omega.” Jared leans his head on the window casing to the left of him, arms folded on his chest. It's a familiar move of his, where at a certain moment his hands will curl about his body and he mimics hugging himself for inner comfort. “Yeah, she was sickly...a terminal illness she hadn't had a flare-up from since she was a cub. I was 19 when she finally passed away. My father didn't want anymore Omegas.”

“ _sure, because he had one in you!_ ” Milo spits the words into the air, not wanting Jared to feel there's any anger toward him.

“ ** _no!_** **I** ** _never_** **became a carrier!** I just...” Jared turns his head to Milo but he doesn't look at him, only downcasting his eyes. “I took care of the house, my parents, and my two sisters, Megs and...the last child my first mother Omega had, Michelle—but we call her 'Chelle'.”

Milo's shaking his head in exasperation, tucking his fists into his body as he crosses his arms. “Those fuckin' parents of yours, man...I knew they'd attempt to take you back an' hide you again.”

“They didn't, at least...not for a while.” Jared clears his throat, then swivels to look over the backyard into a faraway neighbor's yard. “A good friend of my father's found me local work...this kind of work that I do now, just in a bigger, grander scale.”

Milo's looking out the window, same as Jared, voice as dead and numb. “And when you left these families—these packs—you went right back into your designated cubby hole like a good little obedient Omega.”

Jared flinches at the accusation; he's hurt, but he also knows Milo is right. “I was moved into the basement. Father had it done up like it could be a small apartment for me. I could have my own entrance, come and go as I pleased.”

“ _jesus..._ ” Milo shakes his head to work himself out of this stupid trance, then tries to step away from the window.

“ _nonono-_ ** _no!_**...” Jared catches Milo's biceps, even though Milo doesn't uncross his arms. “...you got it all wrong, Milo, I'm _fine_.” He's attempting to smile beyond the pain he knows is evident on his features, dripping down his body. “Look at me. I'm fine. It's who I am.” Jared lightly rattles Milo as if he truly needs him to “see” how he's doing, though it's not how he really feels inside. “I know that now. It's who I always will be. I've come to accept that fact.” He drops his hands from around Milo's arms, then tucks them into his pockets. “I know—” Jared rubs over his chest, smoothing down his loose t-shirt. “I know it looks like I'm selling a crock of shit since I don't have the same outlook for myself that I have for other Omegas, but I'm not what's important... _they_ are.” He points away from himself with his right hand, toward Milo's doorway.

“Fucking hell...bullshit, is what it is...” Milo moves to gather Jared close in his arms, burying his face in Jared's warm neck. “I'd keep you for myself, if it was legal.” He loves how receptive Jared is to the embrace, the way the arms dangled for a brief time but now encapsulate him and his whole body—even his 'puppy bump'. “But I'm not lead Alpha and...shit, I'd even hire a fuckin' pack lawyer and take this to council so I could legally become your guardian...or some shit like that.”

“ _thanks_...” Jared buries his face in Milo's shoulder, knowing these words do very little to truly help him, but he likes hearing them. “—but I'm too old for guardianship...”

“I know, but you know you need a pack, bro. For anything important or legally binding, you need to have that pack to cover your ass.” Milo draws backward, his hands sliding down and over Jared's wide expanse of chest. He can't look into Jared's face without wanting to bawl his eyes out, so he'll try sarcastic humor to smooth things over. “And I don't mean your damn parents. Shit, I don't trust them anymore than my Alphas can throw them.”

Jared and Milo share in a light laugh, then move to continue holding onto one another.

They never knew that someone, somewhere behind one of the many doors into this bedroom, had been listening in on their whole conversation...and they never would.

==&&==&&==

Jensen is in the back warehouse of Ackles & Company Family Furniture. He's working on a few pieces that have been ordered in the last month. Signature pieces that he's created by his own hands. He likes these days, rather than sitting behind a desk, looking at account books and with the phone super-glued to his ear as he talks to distributors and yells about fucked up orders and missing pieces. He leaves that side to Josh, but sometimes his older brother takes a day off or he goes on family vacations. Josh has his own pack—his own Beta and Omega—and he's now up to three 'pups' of his own. So sometimes Josh has to go home and be Mr. Mom Alpha, which Jensen allows since he hasn't proved his lead Alpha status yet, and his pack is just now working on their first 'pup'. There are days Jensen understands and doesn't mind, other days he downright hates waking up to his alarm and rolling out of bed.

These days, his nights are rough. He hasn't been getting the “itch” again—the need to bed down and just knot until he's empty or utterly drained. Nah, this is more of a _specific_ itch, an itch he has never had to scratch before. A scratch that can only be administered by one person—one Omega...and not just any ole Omega will do.

Jensen has always been told that his parents had been a love-match—a lead Alpha to his mated Beta, who had fallen in love before being truly mated. It had been a different story with his mother Omega. The love had come as the knotting occurred, when their firstborn, Josh, was created—each 'pup' was born of love, because the Omega _did_ love her Alpha when his knot was hers to have, alone. Jensen's never known what to think is best for himself.

Josh and Mackenzie aren't good role models, at least not to Jensen's thinking as each had allowed their father Alpha to arrange their matings—Josh, to his Beta and his Omega, Mackenzie to only her Alpha, leaving them to find an Omega on their own. Jensen's pack brother Alphas are no help in this department, either, because their own matings are just as wild and strange.

Jensen doesn't know what to think is wrong with him. He'll be fine all day, but late at night, the dreams will come. Not just regular dreams, more like sensual fantasies born out of sexual tension he must feel when awake. Weird, because he never seems to feel the tension outright, during his work day or at home with his pack. Business is as usual, except for one thing...there's this tall, beautiful dark-haired Omega that continues to confound and confuse the very fabric of his being.

It's obvious there is an attraction brewing, or at least Jared will act in a docile, submissive manner around Jensen. But...if an Omega gives off _nothing_ —nothing that will hint at a want or a need—then an Alpha will get the hint and move on. Jensen has experienced these types of moments with other male Omegas, feeling those instant sparks, then these dull thuds of “ _mmm, no-on-second-thought-I'm-not-interested_ ”, which is why he's still not mated. But with Jared...it's the same thing, but ass-backwards. Dull sparks of need—sometimes desperate and obvious signs of “ _no-not-me-move-on-please_ ”...he can't help feeling Jared is calling out, clawing and screaming to get unlocked from inside of a self-imposed prison.

He gets it from Jared's stillness, his sudden disquiet in a room. Wherever he goes, wherever he takes his mind causes Jensen some concern because he fears that for a second Jared might not ever come back. There's also moments of such subtle profoundness, where Jared will react to one of Jensen's pack members—a simple ' _thank you_ ', a call of his name to get his attention or the all-encompassing hugs Jared gives after he spends hours in a session with them.

A few times Jensen has caught himself...touching Jared, holding his hip or his waist if they bump in the hall or pass one another in the kitchen...a calming grip of a shoulder joint or a hand to the lower back...every little bit makes Jensen want to seek out more. But he will never invade private space without an outward invite. Friendly caresses don't count as offers of hours of fucking their brains out...no matter how much he fantasizes it happening.

Jensen has never had to work for sex or for simple pleasure. Yet, why does he continue to think _this_ pursuit won't be a waste of his time?

He glances at his watch, checking the time clock on the workshop's wall, then puts the final coat of dark lacquer on a special order he's been working on all week. Whenever he's finished with customer orders, the leftover time between projects he'll work on this special order. A few more days, he'll transport the piece personally to its rightful owner, who has no idea that this furniture will show up in their possession. Jensen has to remind himself to ask Christian if he can borrow his truck next week. He's estimated he'll be completely done and the furniture will be dry and ready for use at least past the weekend.

Right now, he has to leave. He has called Adrian and asked if he could come in during his usual lunch hour. Adrian had told Jensen he was more than welcome, but he was going to be ' _eating in_ ' today, not going out. Jensen had asked if Adrian would want him to pick up the food, but Adrian had told him that his personal assistant will have their food in his office by the time Jensen arrives.

Jensen exits the workshop from the back of the store and climbs into the Escalade. He plugs in his phone into the Bluetooth connection, then scrolls through to check messages. By the time he reaches Adrian's office building, he's received Sophia's text and voice messages, then had tried to call her back once he's parked, to see what was so important they had to talk today before Jensen got home. He had reached her secretary, leaving a message that said he was having lunch with Adrian. If it was truly imperative she talk to him, Sophia could reach him at Adrian's work number or he will try her again once he's back on the road, heading into work.

Jensen always feels conspicuous walking through Adrian's workplace in his faded worn denim and plaid long-sleeved button down. He clomps around in his steel-toed work boots, knowing he has to be tracking dirt and grime into this 3-million dollar day trading company. The lower traders in their squished cubicles often give him hard stares; the co-workers at Adrian's level simply ignore him. Probably didn't even scent his Alpha-ness because Jensen was so frightened of places like this—companies who used cash like empty currency. If he ran his own business, Jensen wanted to feel, smell and taste the greenbacks. He did admire Adrian, but he wasn't envious or jealous in the least. All Jensen needed was the total sheets of his end profits from his portfolio. He didn't even need Adrian to tell him how the money had been made or lost; he would only scream and pull his hair out...probably punch someone in the neck because they were playfully bouncing around his hard-earned cash like it was a beach ball at Spring Break in Miami Beach.

Oddly, the office cubicles are sparsely filled with day traders—a mix of Betas and Omegas. The Alphas are either on this floor, in outer offices that had doors and windows to see outside, or they were one floor up in the executive suites. There isn't the typical heady scent of Alpha on the floor, but enough of one to make Jensen knock only once on Adrian's door, opening the paneling and then slamming it behind him.

“ ** _What.TheFuck, man!?!_** ” Jensen leans back on the wood, his chest heaving quite noticeably. “Did you brokers sacrifice an Omega?”

“mmm...” Adrian actually giggles, then smirks. “Merger with the Japanese. It's finally happening.” He is standing on a rug in the center of his huge office. His suit jacket is off, tie is askew, collar opened by two buttons and he's rolled up his trouser legs to mid-calf. He wears no socks or shoes and has begun flexing his feet on this new rug. “ _hell, whadda know! It works!_ ”

“Dude...” Jensen wants to laugh, but he can't tell what the hell Adrian is doing with his feet...or his dark-haired toes. “—have you lost your ever-lovin' mind?!”

“Decreasing my heart rate. Flexing my little piggies in the carpet fibers.”

“ _Fists with your toes_...it's from 'Die Hard'...we've seen it like a _million_ times.”

“But...” Adrian actually pouts out his bottom lip to have his bubble busted—leave it to Jensen. “—not with this incredible foot cream I'm wearing.”

“Adrian...” Jensen puts his hands up, palms out, to ward of whatever Adrian's inhaling or smoking. “...you can be honest with me. It's okay if you're not _really_ an Alpha.” He's halfway to snickering when he sees how much he's affronted his brother Alpha.

“Fuck you.” It's a typical bark Adrian sends to Jensen—like a shitty “ _I love you, too, bro_ ”. “ _I'm still an Alpha, you shit!_ I just...so I'm a metro-sexual Alpha.” He shrugs and juts his chin toward Jensen as if daring him to bust his balls again. “A bit of grooming for you an' you'll let off all that pent-up tension you've been building.”

Jensen slides out of his coat. “Don't make me come over there an' step on your _perfect wittle piggies_.” As he nears, he can see some wetness on the toenails. “oh, wait... _jesus_ , did you have them painted too?!”

“It's a healthier sheer coat to allow the cuticles to—never mind...your head'll explode.” Adrian waves his hand in the air to shoo Jensen away.

“nah, really...I'm riveted. Please, tell me more.” Jensen throws his coat down to sit on the arm of the couch. He folds his arms over his chest, wanting to change the topic of conversation before his brother Alpha talks him into a colonic or something equally as embarrassing to his Alpha-ness. “hey...you have any idea why Soph wants to talk to me?” Jensen has some idea that maybe she's opened up about that “threesome thing”.

“uh, no...” Adrian lets go of his pant legs. “Unless it's something more about Milo.”

“Has she...” Jensen doesn't quite know how to broach the subject without giving away the punchline. “—in the last week or so, has she opened any new dialog with you? Of, like, a really private nature?”

“No. Wha—? Why? Has she said _something_ to _you_?” Adrian swings his arm out to offer Jensen a seat on the couch cushions. A very manly Alpha lunch of a thick Angus burger with an order of boardwalk fries, a large soda and Jensen's favorite cookies. “I hope you'll be satisfied.” He takes the matching chair across the way, digging back into his Asian noodle salad and sushi rolls as he crosses his left leg over his right knee. He doesn't even care that he's still in bare feet and swinging his leg like a gleeful little cub.

“God...” Jensen almost feels like growling low underbreath. “I didn't realize how famished I was 'til I saw this great food. Thanks, man.” He snatches three fries right away, shoving them into his mouth, wiping his palms together; it's from the heavy sea salt covering the fries. Jensen chuckles lightly as he notices the cloth napkin set out for him to set down on his lap. “I'd hate to overstep my place, because she came to me in confidence—I think.” He furrows his brow, not sure Sophia ever told him a time she'd approach Adrian or if she wanted Jensen to be the one to handle talking to him. “At least she made me _assume_ she was. I'll need to ask her when we chat again. I'd hate to get my fine ass chewed out.”

Adrian doesn't seem worried about what it could be. “Have you talked to Chris yet?”

“No.” Jensen looks around the huge circumference of his burger, trying to find a good spot to start. “Steve told me his flight might land as early as tomorrow. He's going to pick Chris up and then... _shit_ , I don't know.” He takes a small bite to savor the delicious goodness, then pushes the food to the side of his mouth so he can still talk coherently. “I guess we'll have to see from there how well Chad's sessions have been going.”

“From what I can tell—what Milo deems worthy for me to know—is that Jared’s made plenty of progress. He would rather have Chris here at his disposal—at Chad's disposal—so he can integrate Chris into Chad's sessions. Now he has to catch up with Chris, while Chad waits to see if...” Adrian sets down his salad bowl, a little agitated that his brother Alpha beat such a hasty retreat so god-damn far away. “ ** _Christ!_** I don't even wanna think that Chris would return just to reject Chad and send him packing. It's too close to Chad's next heat.” He mumbles that last portion only because he doesn't even know what will go on when Chad hits his heat. They haven't had an Omega heat strike the house in a long time.

“No, man...that's not _who_ Chris is.” Jensen is shaking his head, no doubt in his mind that Christian will not sink _that_ low. “He had to have his space.” He swipes at his mouth with a paper napkin, hoping his face isn't covered in grease because he feels like he's devouring this burger like he hasn't eaten in weeks. “Granted, I wish he hadn't hopped on a plane in order to distance himself, but that's not my business. I'm sure he'll be back with a clearer head.” Jensen sets down the half-eaten burger to slurp more soda and dig out more fries. Everything is hitting his fucking pleasure spot— _food_ pleasure spot, that is. “You and I know what being on the road, touring alone without the pack, can be like.”

“yeah, god...” Adrian rolls his eyes, dunking his Sushi roll before he takes a random bite. “...do you know how long it's been since I've hit the stage?” He swallows the food down with a wide shake of his head. “I gave Milo one of my acoustics, as a mating gift, and, damn if I can't find my other one.”

Jensen frowns in deep thought. “Didn't you store a few things in San Antonio, when you thought you'd be living with Milo's old pack for a while?”

“uh, yes, I did.” Adrian takes a quick swig of his vitamin water, then settles it back down beside his chair, on the floor. “But I know I brought my amps, my electric and acoustic with me. Milo's guitar is always in that cloth case I bought in Houston. Mine was the hard one I've had since forever, with all my bumper stickers and shit.” He snorts out a short laugh, recalling those wild and wondrous days of his youth. Adrian envies Christian, wishing he could have that lush vagabond life of singing and rock-n-roll.

“ _Damn_...maybe it's in the house somewhere.” Jensen's trying to think hard about whether he's seen any other guitars just laying about that could be Adrian's. “We'll check soon when we start to get the nursery ready.”

“mmm...” Adrian wipes at his mouth, chewing slowly. “—'bout the nursery...let's hold off on that?”

“Wha—? Why? I thought...”

“Milo's got this wild idea of keeping the 'pup' with him, in his room. I think he got to talking with Jared.” Adrian sits forward in his chair. “We don't know how the birth will be...an' Milo would love to have the 'pup' naturally...at home...” He shakes his head, scratching at his scalp. “Something about it being good for the 'pup' to be right there with mother...”

“Might be best for Milo too.” Jensen nods his head in understanding. “yeah, uh, okay...I'll stop the plans to empty the little bedroom down the hall. We'll get right on to thinking about how to rearrange Milo's room.”

“eh, you should do that soon. Those two boys...they're liable to move all that shit on their own.”

“Hopefully not.” Jensen raises an eyebrow and looks pensive about something he wants to offer Adrian and Milo.

“ _Hey!_ Before we get to why you're eating lunch with lowly ole me, I wanted you to see that portfolio I arranged for Chad. See how well it's doing.” Adrian stands to wander over to his desk in bare feet, grabbing a file folder with the company's logo on it. “I'm kind of jealous, actually. He's been making mad profits, left and right, while mine took a nice chunky swan dive...” He takes the cushions next to Jensen and opens the file to show out the final total sheet—just how Jensen likes it told to him. “I know you said as few stocks as possible, and to pick ones that he'd choose on his own, companies he'd like to have stock in.”

Jensen's eyes gawk at the huge numbers. “ ** _Jesus!_** I just had a 10% increase. This is, like, _what_...?”

“45-48%...which is good, _really_ good. I hope it stays that way.” Adrian takes the sheet back, leaning back to sit niched in the corner as he relaxes for the first time all morning. He wishes more pack members would do this with him; he gets lonely during lunch, even when eating with his co-workers at fancy restaurants. “So when do you want the checks cut?”

“First one should be on his birthday. Then, uh...” Jensen tries to tabulate numbers in his head. “...make it around the middle of the month for sequential checks.”

“—'kay, I can do that.” Adrian digs into both side of his trouser pockets, trying to find where he put his ink pen. “I'll have it under your name with Chad able to sign without needing your co-sign.” He jots down some quick notes on a sticky note placed on the outside of the file. “You think he'll love or hate us for this?” Adrian smiles wistfully, knowing full well Jensen had only good intentions meant when it came to the pack being able to be self-sufficient and “cared for”, at all times.

“It'll be _my_ blame to take. I did this for every other pack member.” Jensen swallows another bite of burger and fries, both dwindling down as he takes a slow swig of his drink through the plastic straw. “He'll be the last of the pack.”

“Well...until you find your own mates.”

“ ** _Blasphemer!_** _Shush your mouth!_ ” Jensen makes a freaked-out face, then covers his eyes, then his ears like he doesn't want to know anything else Adrian has to do or say to him.

“You _will_ find them, Jen.” Adrian holds the folder to his chest, crossing his right leg over his left knee. Now he's too-damn relaxed, like he's sleepy and about five minutes from a cat-nap. “I don't know why, when I look at you, I just see...lots of 'pups'. It's weird.”

“ _Weird_? Me having my own 'pups' is _weird_?”

“No...” Adrian rolls his eyes at Jensen's obvious mishearing of his words. “See, when I look at other Alphas, it's always prowess and conquering. I can see them well-suited for their Beta or Omega, but you...you're the first Daddy Alpha I can't get out of my head.”

Jensen turns to Adrian with eyes so wide they look like they're bulging out of his head. “You mean ' _family man_ ' Daddy, don't you?”

“ _Of course I do, you jackass!_ ” Adrian swats Jensen with the file folder. “I haven’t been quite clear on _who_ would be perfectly suited for you as a mate—Beta or Omega—but I remember why you and I hit it off so well.” He wonders if Jensen remembers any of this. “You told me you saw yourself with _only_ Omegas. Not in the way your father Alpha was, but that you'd mate once and only...an' it just might be with a male Omega.”

“ _manohman_...you recall all that?” Jensen is a bit embarrassed by his younger self of five years ago—sounding so confident and proud, never knowing just how restrictive that declaration was, or how lonely it would be.

“How can I _not_? It's exactly what I wanted with Milo.” Adrian clears his throat as he uncrosses his legs to sit forward, leaning toward Jensen's side. He rests his elbows on his knees, using the file to keep slapping Jensen once in a while. “ ** _I_** see you at home... ** _I_** see you looking at me and Milo...even at Chris and Chad. You're not pining or desperate, but your face just...” Adrian shapes his hand around his own face, never touching skin. “I can see you _wanting_. I see you _reacting_ like me since we learned Milo was carrying.” Now he's put out a hand to cover the curve of Jensen's huge kneecap. “You've been a rock and as close as my own brothers...you've been there for me like no other Alpha has—you were even why I changed my tune with Chris, which has been quite nice...and, I don't know...” Adrian does a loose shrug of both shoulders, one at a time. “I want to give you what I have. I'd love for you to be totally at bliss and content, with a litter of 'pups' around you.”

Jensen has been packing his trash away, slurping on the soda and munching on the scraps at the bottom of his fry bucket. “Will you be upset if I were to tell you that there **_has been_** _someone_ on my mind?”

==&&==&&==

 **TBC...**


	8. Chapter 8

“An Omega?” Adrian goes quiet, doesn't move, just stares at the floor.

“Yes.”

“And he's...” Adrian furrows his brow in concentration. “—how does _he_ feel toward _you_?”

“He's different, but I like it. And...” Jensen stops fidgeting in hurried movement, then turns his head to rest his chin on his right shoulder to look directly at Adrian who is staring intently at him. “I haven't had a moment alone to really, uh... _gauge_ how he feels, but I know he feels _something_ tangible.”

“And it's good?” Adrian is looking deeply into Jensen's eyes and face, hoping he's not being placated with a bunch of lies.

“It is. It might not sound profound enough or...animalistic, like it's supposed to be for us.” Jensen knows it's foolish to jump ahead of his own pursuit to make assumptions he's already won Jared's favor, or that he's even allowed to claim he's been successful in earning the right to claim the Omega as his own.

Adrian nods his head, averting his gaze then connects his eyes with Jensen again. “Is it an Omega I know?”

Jensen is about to nod his head, but he stops the movement, going silent. It's still too fresh and raw to reveal for his own sanity. “If I say yes...you might know who it is...and I don't want to lift anyone's spirits, even my own.”

“Look...I'm not gonna pick on you to tell me this Omega's name. But let me just say this...” Adrian's going to attempt to speak and not fail at his promise to his Omega. “—there's an unmated Omega ** _I_** know...he's full of such confidence and control...he acts too much like a Beta—hell, sometimes I think he's an Alpha.” He's been roped in Milo's own desire to see his brother Omega mated, even if it is within his own pack. Adrian's unsure if Jensen has the kind of patience for someone as difficult as Jared appears to be.

Jensen laughs because he _knows_ Adrian is talking about Jared. “Everything I see...makes me want to know more and get to know this Omega better...”

“Has this Omega scoffed you? Rejected you in some way?”

“No. That's what's confusing me. I'm near...an' I'll see that I'm being engaged into reacting...I'll see these signs, like sparks of interest and the body goes into a reaction, but...then there's this odd stillness...”

“Like _what_?”

“To me...” Jensen lowers his voice in a near whisper. “...there's such beauty in those moments because I'm not sure there's an awareness that anyone is near. There'll be a response and conversation, but the mind goes elsewhere. By the time everything is back to normal...I'm long gone.”

Adrian hears a bit of wistfulness in Jensen's voice, like he's building Jared to be something he might not end up being in the end. “How do you know there's _that_ kind of reaction?”

“I stay to watch when there's some thought that I've left.” Jensen isn't ashamed to admit he's caught—hook, line and sinker—in whatever secret “trap” Jared's set out for him, though he's sure the Omega isn't even aware he done it.

“mmm...peculiar.” Adrian doesn't know why Jensen seems so enraptured, but it's easy to tell with his words and body language. “An Omega's _never_ reacted to you like this before?”

“There have been ones who were interested...with instant attraction, but then cold, blatant rejection. I can't tell with this Omega, but I see... _things_...reactions to other pack members and ways my touch makes the moment sizzle.” Jensen is starting to do that nervous tick where he talks with his hands in robust ways, like he's trying to distract Adrian with magic. “It's like I can see this Omega wanting, but somehow there's a thought it's not allowed. Or worse...there's a want and need, but there's been lessons taught to lock the self away, never to have what's most desired.”

“Is this what you wanted to speak to me about?”

“Well, that was my opening.” Jensen smooths his hands down his calves to fix the cuffs of his jeans over his boots. He knows he's probably covered in a fine sheen of sawdust. “Find out how you'd feel about me...pursuing, and then...how you'd feel about a new pack member...”

“It's been five years, Jen...” Adrian lifts up a lone eyebrow in curiosity. “...you sure you recall how to woo and romance an Omega?”

Jensen leans back against the couch cushions. “I know I'm kind of rusty, but I was hoping you'd help me there too.” He puts an arm up along the back to swivel his body toward Adrian in the corner. “Tell me how you won Milo's favor.” Jensen crosses an ankle over a knee, then clamps his hand around his leg. He's raising one corner of his mouth in a slight smirk. “Give me some of your sage insight into an Omega's heart and mind.”

“I will...” Adrian hits Jensen with the file again, a little harder this time. “—but only if you bite the bullet, take off your boots and socks and go flex your own wittle piggies on my fabulous new carpeting.”

“aww, Alpha...do hafta?!” Jensen sulks rather eloquently with a prominent pout, like a bratty child, though he's following his brother Alpha's request anyway.

==&&==&&==

Chad is at his computer, on the Internet, trying to be webmaster to the recording studio's website. He has some massive cleaning up to do of older news and mistakes he never touched, then he has some new information to update: a minor mention about KANE and how the band's gotten radio play, a little about the short tour, with the dates set up for two weeks from now. Christian will finish one leg of the tour by the end of the week, take two weeks off to be home, then back on the road.

Chad takes a quick glance over his shoulder, catching a napping Jared in his recliner with the DJ headphones on his ears, listening to music on his old stereo. He wants to make sure no eyes are watching as he checks his email—for, like, the 30th time—to see if Christian posted anything. He finds it rather lame that he has to go to his Alpha's unofficial, and one official, fansite to catch up; he wasn't going to be getting up-to-date information like he knows Steve is getting.

A soft knock sounds on the door and Chad spins in his rolling desk chair to run and stop whomever is there from making any noises in case Jared's not a heavy sleeper. “ _whoa!whoa!_ I'm here...” He finds it's only Steve, so he stands still with head bowed to chest. “...I'm here...Wha's up?”

Steve tries to look into Chad's bedroom. “Watchin' Alpha porn?”

“ **ha-ha!** Funny...no-ah...” Chad backs up to motion over to the corner of his room. “I finally got him sedated.” He snorts a laugh but then takes the joke back. “nah, man...he came in for 'nother chat...saw my old school vinyls an' nearly shit a brick.”

“You let him touch your sacred LP collection?” Steve leans nonchalantly against the door jamb. “It must be love.”

“no, well, wait...yeah, but I love anybody who digs music.” Chad leans over, against his door, voice a hushed whisper. “Wha's up, buttercup?”

“Got a few moments to spare, so I can show you something?” Steve is already making gestures with his head for Chad to come out, if he wants to _not_ wake Jared.

“uh, sure.” Chad looks back at his computer monitor. He grabs the doorknob and walks out; he leans on the door molding, having nudged Steve over to lean on the flat of the wall next to him. “Whatcha got?”

Steve brings out his Android phone and presses the screen to boot up where he'd been last. “I got sent this email...had this link in it.” He presses the arrow button to start “Play”.

Chad notices the website is like YouTube—or maybe it is YouTube—but it's a really crappy, kind of neurotically shaky video of KANE on stage. It's the last few bars of the new single and Chad can hear the way the audience in the bar is already singing along. He smirks a little shyly, trying to hide the spark of excitement he feels. It finally hits him that it's been days since he's been near or scented his Alpha. He sniffles and feels Steve's arm come up and surround him, pulling him under an arm, holding him to bodily warmth.

Suddenly, Chad leans heavily on Steve's shoulder, alternating in watching the video then shutting his eyes to hear that voice he loves, allowing its range to hit him directly in the gut.

As the new song comes to a close, and the fans cheer madly, Christian takes a swig of his water bottle—could be clear alcohol, but his mates and band know differently—and swings his guitar to rest behind him against his back. He snatches the mic and stand, adjusting the height so the top hits right at his lips.

“ ** _I wanna thank all you beautiful people for comin' out to see little ole me, but...I gotta take a few minutes to do somethin' for myself. I'm gonna ask that we take this down another notch an' dim the stage lights._** ” The lights dim and Christian uses a towel to swipe at the sweat on his brow and around his neck. He sticks the material into the back of his jeans. “ ** _...thanks_**.” The band behind Christian starts picking up their individual beats of the next tune to end up blending together as their lead singer tries to gather some courage. “ ** _—damn...I thought I'd be able to do this without—you know—makin' a total pussy outta myself. I got some special people at home, who I'm missin'...._** ” He has to clear his throat before he chokes. “ ** _One in particular..._** ” He gives his signature KANE smirk and the crowd goes wild. “ ** _...gotta say, I wouldn't be here without this special someone an' I mean-RIGHT HERE with all of you, tonight...that said...I'm gonna dedicate this new track—which I wrote on the fuckin' bus between gigs—to my boys at home...I'll be with you soon... love you-miss-you-wish-you-were-here...”_** Christian kisses his hand, sending his fingers into the air, then uses his body to swing the guitar back around. He turns his back to the audience, starting to strum. It's only obvious to those who know Christian that he's trying to control his emotions and sing this damn song.

Steve glances sideways at Chad. “He sent me this link in his last email.”

Chad has been still and way-too quiet. “He hasn't emailed ** _me_** at all.” He lifts his chin to swipe at his left eye.

“Don't get upset...they're not the most eloquent mails. Very brief, to the point.” It's apparently not softening the blow. “He talks ** _at_** me. Doesn't want me to respond back. I didn't think I should tell you, because I wanted him to give the 'okay'. I got it with the link in this email.”

“Tha's sweet of him.” Chad takes one last look at the image of Christian on a small screen. “Despite everything I've done.”

“Chad...you do realize, he was talking to _you_...”

“yeah, I do, but I don't wanna hear this shit from some fangirl's crappy phone video.” Chad points down to the floor underneath him, then right in front of his feet. “I want Chris here, in front of me.”

“Okay, fine, but it's an improvement. He's making a good effort the best he can.”

Chad grabs the doorknob. “I know he is. I still want what I want.”

“Stubborn asses...” Steve shakes his head at how he has to shield and coddle both of these knuckleheads. “— _both_ of you.”

Chad steps into his room, hiding behind the door. “Thanks, man. I know you mean well.”

“Wish I had more to make you know this was a Pro not a Con.”

“I _do_ know. I get it. Let's hope he's willing to record this track as a B-side and not hoard it for his private collection, like the last few times. He's played it live—god knows how many times now—and in front of his fans. The bootleg is prolly out as we speak.”

Steve braces his hand on the door, so Chad won't shut it completely. “You're not just a recording studio and a handy producer, Chad. You _do_ matter to him, more than I think you realize.”

Chad gives out a tiny smile. “Again—thanks, man...” As the door is about to close, it opens again. “uh, can you forward me that video link?”

Steve lets out a smile from the side of his mouth. “I will, Chad. Don't stay up too late on the computer.”

“All right...Dad.”

Steve chuckles, watching the door close and latch. From his phone, he finds his Internet access, then does exactly as Chad asked of him.

Later that night Chad will bring the YouTube clip to over a 1,000 hits. He will gladly sit there the rest of the night into morning and add 500 hits an hour until he gets the ticker to reach 10,000. He vows to stop playing the video on rotation until Christian's actually home and beside him.

==&&==&&==

Jensen hates standing in line. He can't wait until Sophia shows up so they can trade places. He aches in muscles he's forgotten he had. That's what he gets for spending the rest of the day helping the truck drivers load the furniture for delivery. Shit! He's not 21 anymore and spry; when had he gotten _this_ old? He had wondered why his dock workers wore only their jeans and Polo shirts with the company logo, never breaking a sweat...and he had looked like a trussed-up hockey goalie with arms guards, knee pads and a counter-balance weight around his waist with a back-brace built-in. Probably smart to think ahead to prevent injury, but he had felt like he had appeared pretty wussified. Luckily, the two young Betas were sons of ex-workers from the warehouse when Alan Ackles still made furniture. As Jensen had finally watched the truck disappear in the distance, he almost collapsed to the ground, making his gradual fall look suave and graceful as he sat on the dock bay, legs dangling down. He had attempted to reach Sophia again, and caught her at a good stopping point where she agreed to meet up with him.

So Jensen's standing like this, in line at the local watering-hole coffeehouse, hoping what Sophia has to tell him—or ask him—is worth this agony. He catches sight of her, moving out-of-the-way of pedestrian traffic and patrons leaving the coffeehouse. At some point, someone can see her agitation and holds the door open for her. She gives out a frustrated smile, mutters something and then snags a table. She places her briefcase and her purse into two chairs, then unbuttons her waist-length wool jacket to slip out of the material to reveal her V-neck blouse tucked in severely to her knee-length wool skirt. She catches Jensen's short wave to signal where he is in line; she nods her head, goes digging for her wallet.

“Go...sit down.” Sophia's heading toward Jensen. “I'll stand here and give our order. Getting your usual?”

“yeah, but let me pay for it.” Jensen is reaching for his wallet in his back pocket.

Sophia already sticks out a hand to prevent Jensen from completing the motion. “No, absolutely not.”

“ ** _Soph!_** ” Jensen doesn't want it to look like he's a lower pack member or that he can't “take care of” his own pack, but he's too exhausted to argue right now.

“No. You're meeting me here, not at the house.” Sophia is covering her ear on the side that Jensen stands, not willing to hear him argue with her. “I have to be scaring the shit out of you. _My_ treat, since it was under _my_ invite.”

Jensen isn't able to deny her that right, but he's a bit concerned because she looks harried, rode hard and put away wet. “You promise me that things are good with _you_? _Adrian_? _Milo_?”

“Yes, Jen...” Sophia lightly pushes against Jensen's chest. “Now will you go sit down, before you end up falling down.” She shakes her head laughing at his playful antics, though she can read the pure weariness etched on his features.

Jensen fake stumbles away as he takes off his coat. He puts the material over the back of a third chair and then plops down in the seat. As he's situating himself, he takes a look at what lays on the table surface—manila file folders that bear Jared's name on them. Not just his first name, but the full one... **Jared Tristan Padalecki**. He furrows his brow, wondering what the hell Sophia is up to.

A few minutes later of battling within to either peek at the files or leave them be, Jensen smiles when he's served a huge ceramic mug of Hazelnut espresso with foam and chocolate shavings. He notices Sophia's going to drink tea. “What's wrong with you? You _never_ drink tea.” That wrong to say—she doesn't order it when she can have better coffee.

“I've been slurping down Java all _damn_ day.” Sophia jams her wallet back in her purse, shifting her backside into an empty chair. “I need to cleanse my palette.”

“Did you leave these out on purpose?”Jensen looks down at the files, then up at Sophia. “Knowing my interest would already be piqued?”

“Is it?” Sophia lifts both eyebrows in curiosity. “I mean...is it a legit interest?” She folds her arms over the table, pushing her cup and saucer up further to let the tea bag seep longer. Soon she'll break out honey and sugar packets. “Like, do you care about him?”

“Of course I care.” Jensen bends his head to blow on the steam, picking at the chocolate shavings—they're real dark chocolate, too. He relaxes back against the rungs of the chair, body tilting to the right to look at Sophia on his left. “Have you seen what he's done with this pack? The house?”

“I know- _i know_...” Sophia's voice takes on that lusty-husky tone, like she's been talking all day and her vocal chords are sore. She blows at her bangs, closing her eyes on a slow blink. “He's gonna keep doing this 'til every last one of us is healed.” Sophia clears her throat as she stirs her tea, then takes out the bag to squeeze it of liquid and more concentrated spices. “But I wonder what you'd think of him if you knew about his own life—his past, in particular.”

Jensen wrinkles his brow in a serious frown of bewilderment. “I don't shun away pack members because of the way they're brought up.” Sophia knows this about him.

“Do you care how he'd affect the pack? Do you care what he goes through to help us?”

“All right... _whoa_...back up.” Jensen sits upright, putting out his left hand to touch Sophia on her arm. “I feel like you're trying to play devil's advocate with me. I have no idea why you're coming at me from both angles. What have I done, or said, that makes you think I'd react negatively toward Jared?”

“Nothing, Alpha... _nothing_...” Sophia sighs heavily, bowing her head over her mug, letting the steam open her nostrils and facial pores. “I've had a bitch of a day at the office.” She bends her left arm and leans her cheek on her hand so she can look directly at Jensen. “And I thought what I wanted to do for Jared would only take me a few minutes, maybe a half-hour. Instead...I wasted my time—my whole fuckin' morning—” Sophia's eyes close in mild agony. “—feeling like I got absolutely nowhere...could've gotten more done talking to a wall.”

“Soph, come on...” Jensen covers his hand over Sophia's on the table. “...I'm a friend before I'm your Alpha...what's got you so worked up?”

Sophia places her other hand over top Jensen's, rubbing the oddly soft skin—for a man who works with his hands, Jensen has such baby-soft skin that's always warm and comforting. “I thought hearing it out of Jared's mouth was heartbreaking enough—well, he didn't really talk to **_me_**.” She knows she has to be worrying Jensen even more with her riddles. “I stumbled on a conversation, he and Milo...” Sophia suddenly is unable to finish the thought.

“ _What_?” Jensen tightens his fingers around the shape of Sophia's hand.

Sophia grips Jensen's hand back tighter, looking at him with moisture building in her eyes. “Do you know Jared was brought up New-Freedomer?”

“ _yes..._ ” Jensen nods his head, his voice cracking only because he knows this is some serious shit if Sophia's been worn down to tears. “He told me the night he broke through Chad.”

Sophia nods as she turns her eyes back to look into her tea, then toward the files on the table surface. “Well, seems like Jared was...” She brings over her left hand to bite at the thumbnail as she swipes at the corners of her eyes. “— _segregated_ from his siblings—all _six_ of them—made to feel like...being an Omega was—” Sophia is shuffling around in her chair, nervous energy building as she's now able to vent everything toward Jensen, finally able to get her frustrations off her chest and out there in the air. “—look, I hate to make awful assumptions about other packs, but when a parent locks away their 'pup' in their own room, during their heats an' tells them to ' _deal with it_ '...do you assume it's punishment or actual abuse?” She's seen too much in her own work to not think she's never going to be jaded but always every bit as disturbed by the world out there for her kind—for packs and their culture—like the first day starting her new career after college. Sophia hates how they've veered off from tradition and gone too modern where they almost become... _human_.

Jensen fidgets, taking a hard swallow of saliva. Sophia's manners have already unsettled him. But now that she starts off with Jared and this tale of woe...he's growing deeply worried and perturbed. “Well, New-Freedomers are pretty hard on their Omegas. Their mates have to be selected perfectly—it's a one-time deal.” He knows it's not comforting news, but he has to say something to make her feel as if she's done all she can. Jensen knows too well how much he's had to fight for Omegas in Pack Council meetings. “What we think looks harmful or abusive...could just be ' _their way_ '.”

“Doesn't make it right.” Sophia shakes her head as she loosens her hand from Jensen's hold to pick up her cup and try to take a sip.

“I know, Soph, but Pack Council will tell you the same.” Jensen attempts to drink from his own mug. “As long as they follow pack law, they aren't doing a thing wrong.”

Sophia takes a long swallow as she licks her lips to begin what she needs to say, “The Padaleckis still claimed their son, _Jared Tristan_ , up until his 17th year, but he rarely 'lived' there in their home.” She opens the file on the top to point out some information, spreading out some of the papers so Jensen can see. “Milo's pack was in that same neighborhood, a few houses down—like in one of those dead end semi-circles. Jared found refuge within the Traditionalist pack Milo was born into. Milo wasn't of the lead Alpha's litter, but he was one of their treasured Omega births. He and Jared had their first heats together. Milo and Jared learned how to hone their 'talents'...their energies, which is why they can do these...sessions like we've witnessed with Jared. Milo was already promised to Adrian, though arranged by his lead Alpha. Milo and Adrian fell in love and...well, I think Adrian's told you most of that.” As Sophia takes a small breath to spare a glance at Jensen, she notices how closely he's listening and watching her. “At 17, a year older than Jared, Milo left with Adrian; they were a mated couple.” She falls back against her chair, rubbing at her face and eyes. “Jared remained behind, but the lead Alpha put his foot down, saying that Jared could stay...but if he wasn't mated within the year, then he had to leave.”

Jensen now threads his fingers together, holding his hands tight together. “Please don't tell me he was forced into something with a hateful Alpha, just because the lead Alpha was about to throw him out.”

“Worse. For Jared.” Sophia leans forward quickly to dig around for a sheet of paper that will prove her words true. “He goes back home, before he turns 17, and he stays with them in secret as their Omega.”

“ ** _What?!_** ” Jensen doesn't mean to bark loudly, causing people around him to stare, but he's utterly stunned and outraged.

“Yeah, I'm afraid so.” Sophia smiles sadly, her fingernails tapping on the papers sticking out of the file. “Jared had no Alpha mate, no new pack that would take him so he went home out of some weird sense of duty.” There's documentation to prove her next piece of information. “Their second mother Omega had gone ill...Jared helped take care of his parents, this ill Omega and his two little sisters.”

“But they should've found him a pack...an Alpha, at the least.” Jensen can't believe what he's hearing; how terribly Jared's own parents failed him. “It's _their_ duty to see he moves on to lead the life of his birthright—as an Omega.”

“He did, just _not_ legally.” Sophia's not even sure who should take full blame—or who should take responsibility when Jared gets found out to have lived without mates or a pack for so long.

“So _what_? He went off-grid? No record of him even having—?”

“There's nothing in his public record until he's 20.” Sophia is flipping through the bottom half of the papers now to find the one she needs, so she can put it on top. “By then he's working for a, uh...Gary Ronca.” She reads the name she hasn't bothered to memorize, because she's been so damn pissed off. “Ronca takes Jared in and...well, you see what Jared does for Omegas. For Alphas and Betas. For whole packs.”

“His parents _sold_ him?” This is what it sounds like to Jensen and he doesn't like hearing, or knowing this fact one bit. “They sold him for his _abilities_?”

“eh, that's what I'm thinking.” Sophia turns to the right, crossing her leg over her knee as she pulls over her cup. “But by Jared's own admission, he says he still has some kind of residence at his childhood home. A refurbished basement that's similar to a studio apartment where he can have his own entrance.”

Jensen turns his head around in disgust. “Only to make this look legit.” He's very aware how some pack members cheat the system. “As long as it's on record he has a home address, a place of residence...Pack Council won't _red flag_ the file.”

“But shouldn't he be **_in_** a pack?” Sophia isn't sure she understands how Jared's own parents could've let him slip away so casually—like he didn't matter. It's too similar sounding to Chad's own horror story. “Not _still_ in the old pack of his childhood?” She starts to shiver where she sits, like she cold, but she's really just try to shake off this shroud of doom that wants to settle over her. “Why does this feel so icky and underhanded...kind of illegal?”

“Because it is.” Jensen puts both elbows on the table, placing his chin in his hands as he rubs at his stubble in deep thought. “My father Alpha didn't visit many New-Freedomers...” He hates that he's let something this important slip from his years of learning about packs and their mentalities. “I don't have the knowledge to know much about their typical ways. Or if his parents were just ashamed of who he had become. Hopefully, they were just going on bad advice and not making these decisions of their own merit.” Jensen is wishing that last part was truer than he knows it's probably not.

“Well, I've tried to crack their mystery.” Sophia moves to the table, digging out a new file as she closes the first one. “The pack liaisons are wound tighter than a kettle drum. They don't want to hear about anything suspect within their packs.”

“Jared is _still_ without a pack?” Jensen had almost been sure this was just a small oversight, because if Jared had worked for such a large company that shipped him anywhere and everywhere, he would think they'd—at the very least—assign him to a pack just for “show” and legal purposes. But hearing this in conjunction with everything else, it's becoming more of a reality than he thought.

“Yes. He told Milo. Milo made sure he knew that without one...he's...well, let's just say it's not going to be easy for Jared to do much of anything.” Sophia opens a new file, spreading out even more paperwork; some sheets have her squiggly notes on them. “I looked into some cases—ones within the family and pack services and...if he doesn't have a pack, he's considered a, uhm...” Sophia pulls out the paper that she wrote this information on. “— **ward of the state he was born in**.”

“The American government not Pack Council?” Jensen is startled to know this, because he thought everything went to the council.

“Well, here's the thing...US government has referred all Omegas without a pack over to the council and from there—” Sophia is still frustrated by just talking about this as she rubs over the side of her face, not caring if she smudges her make-up. “—fuck, Jen, he's screwed.” She throws her hand up in defeat, slightly shoving the files away from her even though she needs them to keep telling her story. “I don't even want to know scenarios of what could happen to him.”

Jensen is spinning his family crest's ring around his finger, his hands are shaking to touch those papers and every single file laying before him. “Not to mention the turtle pace both the government and the council work at. It could take months or years before he's even assigned a case worker.” He feels that if nobody has taken responsibility for Jared that he may as well step in and do _something_ constructive—it's not to better his chances of winning Jared over, it's just because he hates any and all injustices to Omegas. This one just happens to be an Omega he's starting to consider mating with.

“ _hehehe_...” Sophia's laugh isn't a real one, more sarcastic and cruel. “Try before they even have _a look_ at his file.” She holds up some of the files on the table. “I was able to find all that I needed in Jared's public record. No one from the US government or Pack Council has even bothered to _touch_ his case. He was 'flagged' almost 8yrs ago—slipped through the cracks, I guess.” She shrugs one shoulder as she has no other excuse to give.

“ _jesus christ_...” Jensen soothes a hand over his forehead, sliding the palm down the side of his face. “—this is a certifiable _nightmare_...”

“And sad thing is...Jared's oblivious to all of _this_.” Sophia circles her hand over the files on the table. “He's got no idea how roughly he's been screwed.”

“One infraction and he's—”

Sophia puts a hand on Jensen's forearm on the table, then leans toward him as she knows how exactly to word the scenario. “...even if it's a simple _running a red light_ or _failing to stop at a Stop sign_. He'll find himself jailed because his file has a red flag. But the police department won't be able to see why it's flagged until a case worker makes an appearance in his steed. Or, I don't know...” She moves away, sitting correctly at the table as she drinks more tea, shaking her head as she bows chin to chest. “I started feeling a headache coming on and I had to quit thinking in _What Ifs_. I did some quick research, because Milo said something that struck me as sweet, at first, but then...I wondered if it was even possible.” As she straightens the splayed files, she piles them back in front of her to find a particular file that just her notes on a yellow legal pad papers. “I mean, with Pack Council conforming their laws to all the different pack mentalities.”

“What?” Jensen is more curious and envious than he needs to be. “What did Milo say?”

“Milo wishes he could keep Jared as **_his_** —” Sophia gives a mild snicker, her mind wandering back to when she heard the words come out of her Omega's mouth. “—not _own_ him, but, like...be his legal guardian.”

“Like a fostering or a, uhm...adoption?”

“Well, Jared is too old for 'adoption'.” Sophia is flipping through her own notes, recalling the bits of information she had learned. “There doesn't seem to be an age limit put on 'fostering'. At least not for pack life. But I discovered a few more things that can be done for him.”

“What are they?”Jensen tilts his head, wanting to know anything and everything.

“There's ' _pack by proxy_ '.” Sophia uses her fingernail to point down to the paper where she wrote it, then slides the sheet over to Jensen. “This was developed for those packs who are smaller—like us—and when members die off, with no new members being added...another lead Alpha can be, like, his legal spokesperson.”

“hmm...what else?” Jensen likes the idea but he'd rather hear the rest, so he sets Sophia's notes down.

Sophia hands over two more sheets of notes, only because these are too similar not to group together. “Some have been desperate enough, especially Omegas that aren't treated well—being abused in some format or in a sudden bind they can't get out of—they fall into ' _arranged matings_ ', like the equivalent of the ' _arranged marriage_ '. Most of them do this since it's cheaper and easy to find a willing Alpha to be mated for a few days. However long they're needed.”

“You mean...” Jensen's not sure he likes knowing this—not like he'd consider it for Jared, but that any Omega would see this as a way to legally beat the system. “...these willing Alphas are mating with the Omegas for only a limited time and still...treat them as real mates?”

“yeah- _yes, I know_.” Sophia shakes her head sadly. “And we wonder why Omegas react to us the way they do.”

“Anything more?” Jensen likes it better when Sophia gives him quick overviews because she has the worst chicken-scratch when she takes notes—only _she_ can decipher them.

“Omegas can enter into a ' _mating by contract_ ', much like the arranged mating where it's real enough to outlast an illegal infraction. The Omega can sign away his or her life—for five, ten or more years—they get a pack, a life and, maybe, a 'pup' or two.”

“ ** _Shit!_** ” Jensen's pissed, handing Sophia back her notes. “Why are you trying to make _those_ sound remotely better? So far...I only like the ' _by proxy_ '.” He rubs at his right temple, his mind in serious thought on what exactly he—they—should do for Jared. There's no way he's going to let an Omega slip through the cracks like this again.

“And this is why I've had such a bad day.” Sophia is putting everything back in their proper file folders and stacking them in front of her to store away in her briefcase. “I've only condensed this for you in under 20minutes.”

“What if...” Jensen clears his throat as he stares down at his fingers messing with his pack ring. “—what if there was a possibility that I _did_ care for Jared? That I _actually_ felt like I'd want to explore these... _feelings_ I have?” He's going to try and learn some things of his own, like he did with Adrian a few hours ago.

“Jen...” Sophia covers her hand over his arm, squeezing the shape. “...sweetie, what's going on?”

“This is the very reason I had lunch with Adrian.” Jensen glances down but then shifts his gaze to Sophia, trying not to smile too broadly. “I wanted to know how he managed to successfully 'woo' Milo.”

Sophia put her hands to her face, trying to hide her silly grinning—such a difference from the tears she'd shed almost all morning. “Oh, god...you _do_ have feelings for him, don't you? More than just the crush we're assuming you have?”

“Damn...” Jensen slams his fist down in mock outrage. “What kind of a lead Alpha am I, if I can't hide away my emotions?!”

“oh, _please_...” Sophia shoves at Jensen, her fingers making a tiny fist in his shirt sleeve. “You wear your heart so blatantly on your sleeve. You've never been able to hide a thing from us.”

“I know. **_Shit!_** ” Jensen swipes a hand over his face. “ _god_...this pisses me off to know.” He rubs his hand over his neck and lets it rest there so he can lean on his arm. “To know I'm part of Pack Council and there's an Omega in my county who... ** _christ!_** Could I even make a difference with them if I bring his case _directly_ to the bench when it's in session?”

Sophia shrugs but only because she never thought Jensen would think on this as serious as he seems to be. Pack Council is a huge deal and they're not to be messed with. She wants her lead Alpha to know she will back him 100% if this is what he _truly_ wants to do for Jared. “They're backlogged as we speak. You'd probably need a pack judge to sign a waiver, giving you official status or, uh...plead to another higher council member for leniency.”

Jensen narrows his eyes on Sophia. “Do you think my father would listen?”

“well, it's worth a shot.” Sophia tilts her head to concentrate more closely to Jensen's features. “ _wait-wait_...so you'd put off romancing Jared to clear his public record—first?” She's not sure he isn't doing this backwards. “Couldn't you just...mate with him now, let the chips fall where they may? He'll have **_us_** —the pack—and he'll be **_yours_**.” Sophia knows that's her one worry—that Jared will never be anyone's if he lets this sit for too long. “They couldn't take him away from you.”

“I'm not taking any chances there would be some hoop I didn't jump through when I had the chance.” Jensen shakes his head as if he's answering Sophia last question. “Something tells me if Jared knew _any_ of this—of what's going on—he'd feel much the same.”

“wow, already?” Sophia's impressed that Jensen can “sense” this much about the Omega. “Do you _sense_ or _feel_ him even when he's not around?”

“It's faint, but it's there.” Jensen swishes his hand from side to side. “Kind of like when he's in the room, but quiet and still, then he goes off to do some silly chore...because he knows it _needs_ to get done...”

“—and, well, _he's there_...” Sophia throws her arms up in mock “Jared” explanation.

“ ** _Exactly!_** ” Jensen nods his head, laughing softly. It's odd how they're picking up on Jared's little idiosyncrasies—like he's already part of their family—their pack.

Sophia shakes her head as she swipes both hands over her face to push back her hair. “What a goofball!”

“It's one of the things I like about him.” Jensen bends an arm to rest his chin on to look over at Sophia as he pulls at his mug and takes another long sip. “He makes me wanna help him to appease my old Alpha guilt.”

“ _hehehe_...” Now Sophia is genuinely laughing. “Jared does the task with _no_ complaints and he'll talk while working so it never looks like _actual_ exertion. Like he needs to burn off bottled-up energy.”

Jensen points to the button-down he's wearing. “I wore this shirt two days ago. It was in my laundry basket yesterday morning.”

Sophia can't help but understand exactly what Jensen means. “Things are working much more efficiently at home. I swear I didn't notice until I asked Adrian why our wall didn't look crooked anymore—you know the one across from our bed with all our pictures?—and he tells me he had told Jared about the slant in the wall...or that the pictures weren't leveled correctly...” She talking with her hands and body, animating her words. “—so I'm in bed the other night an' for the first time I'm not tilting my head when I look across at the wall. He's un-freakin'-believable.”

Jensen coughs roughly, clearing his throat as he gives a side-long glance to Sophia. “So, I take it this means you won't mind him being here _permanently_?”

“ ** _uh, no!_** _”_ Sophia swats at Jensen's, grabbing his arm, and the sleeve, to shake him. _“_ ** _Are you kidding me?!_** ” Her smile dissipates a little as she thinks. “There's still that guy...Jared's employer, Gary Ronca. I tried to reach him by the number they list in his file but it's disconnected.”

“To my knowledge, Jared hasn't worked in over a month. He could've quit.”

“yeah, but he could've just taken a break since Milo's like family.”

“That's true...very true.” Jensen sighs heavily as he now gets his mind in gear on what to do for Jared, putting his pursuit slightly “on-hold”. “ ** _Shit!_** Sounds like we need to jump on this quick before Jared starts working again.”

“I'll do what I can on my end. I'll try to get Steve in on what we're doing, if you wanted to mention this to Chris or Adrian...”

“Adrian, sure...but I don't know about Chris. He still has to work with Jared and reconnect with Chad.”

“It's pack, Jen...Chris is gonna _want_ to know.”

“yeah, yeah...what was ** _I_** thinking?”

==&&==&&==

Jared has found some blank paper—in Jensen's office, out of the fax machine—and located a sharpened pencil and a chunky eraser. He's been having these bursts of creative thought on what to build for Chad when he hits his heat next.

There are no rooms in this house that have great energy flow for any of the ceremonies or rituals Jared needs to participate in. That's why he's decided that he'll build an authentic replica—smaller-sized, of course—of an Omega Circle temple, which isn't supposed to be as grandiose as the word “temple” con-notates. It would have the framework of a gazebo, ending up looking much like a modern poolside lounge area. Because Jared will be the actual spiritual guide using the temple for its purposes, it will be best if he designed and built the project—or supervised some of the pieces to be constructed he can't take part in. If he wanted, he can ask Chad to help him, but he can't ask the Alphas or Betas. His own preference, not a true rule.

He's seated on the floor in the informal living room, drawing on the papers he's gathered on the coffee table surface. Jared hears the front door open and close, then Jensen's voice calling out. He feels something stir inside, then that feeling makes him release a smile. He doesn't say a word until he can see Jensen in the open archway.

“...hey...”

“Hi.”

“You the only one home?”

“No. They're scattered about. In their rooms, probably. I needed a quiet place to draw.”

Jensen shrugs out of his coat. “You could've used my office, instead of the coffee table. My desktop is large enough.”

Jared makes a “face”. “There's _better_ energy in here.” It's not the actual room itself, but the way it's designed that gives off a good aura: the fact there's several doorways in, there are high ceilings and the furniture is a bit rustic and worn-down from much use. And Jared likes that he can hear anything and everything from in this room; there's a familial “feel” about the space.

“ _Better energy_? For _what_?”

“To draw.”

“Oh? What?”

Jared has no shame in showing his sketches to Jensen.

Jensen bends slightly, groaning to pick up the sheets as they slide over toward him. “These are—good...” He pauses, flipping through every sheet drawn on that looks like stages of construction as he tries to gather what it could be. “What the hell am I looking at?”

Jared softly chuckles as he pushes to his knees, wobbling over to use his pencil tip to show Jensen and describe to him some details. “This is the 'temple' I wanna build in your backyard. See...there's the raised platform floor with an inlay mattress. I've got space planned out to put chairs so it doesn't look like a place where pack members fuck—although that will be _one_ of its purposes.”

“You're building me a 'temple' to fuck in?” Jensen is...flabbergasted, if not mocking in a manner like he's honored. “Dude...”

Jared tries not to roll his eyes too hard as Jensen's tease. “Well, it's a sacred building. Saying 'church' or anything else would be too overpowering. And it's for you and your pack—not just now, but for, uhm...later, too.”

“Why?” Jensen is confused by this massive gesture.

“It's for letting me stay here.”

“Jared...” Jensen can't believe the things Jared's willing to do for them, without even being a part of their pack. He can't fathom that Jared is this way with all of the packs he guides.

“You won't have to pay for _any_ of it.” Jared knows too many people who can help him and cut him deals, plus he's got so much money stored away and he's never used it for much of anything. “It can be used even once I'm not around. See—like I said, with the better energy in here, I haven't been able to find the 'center' of your home. I need that 'center' to find the perfect room to do these ceremonies and rituals in.”

“My house...” Jensen speaks the words slowly, trying not to look as if he's offended. “...has no 'center'?”

“Tha's not a bad thing.”Jared rises to one knee, then sits down on the coffee table to explain his ways. “I need the spiritual guidances of the sun and the moon...where I plan to place the temple is the best spot for both. To attract the type of energy I need from the outside world.”

“So...” Jensen is using an index finger to point certain instances out in the drawings. “...are these high beams—what, like, larger than a 2x4?...are we talkin' actual poles or columns? And where are the walls? The roof? What if it rains?”

Jared doesn't act frustrated with being bombarded with such questions. He likes to teach Omega culture; he understands Jensen doesn't comprehend a lot of what he speaks about. “The walls will be muslin material tied to hooks on the posts. They can lay secure to the wood, creating a wall-effect or fly free to let in the wind. And, sorry...you came in before I could draw what the roof will look like.” He can detect the heavy concentration, and doubt, from Jensen. “You can always tell me' no' an' I'll stop right now.”

“no-no...” Jensen squeezes Jared's biceps, then the shoulder as he uses him to lower his frame to his knees. Jared turns to offer his other arm at Jensen's back, watching the Alpha sink to the floor with some pain. “—sorry, man...” Jensen spreads out all of Jared's etchings. “I'm just...I'm putting on my carpenter brain.” He lifts an eyebrow but doesn't look at Jared. “Does it matter the type of wood used for the 'temple'?”

“No.”

“Good. 'cuz I know where you can find termite-free, weather-proofed wood for the whole thing.” Jensen tries to think quick on his feet, though he's about ready to crash, and crash hard. “I've also got some boat building friends who can probably get you the muslin for half of what you'd pay on the wholesale market...and enough of it to do with it whatever you feel like.” He squints his eyes to look at the bed area where the “fucking” will take place; he's not sure how to go about making an offer of how to find inch-thick or two-inch thick mattresses. “How exactly does this mattress-y bed contraption work?”

“In some ceremonies, it's just a thin mattress on the floor and the breeding couple lays on their side, conjoined by their sexual organs in knotting...”

“okay, _whoa-whoa_...” Jensen means to grab for Jared's forearm, but instead he clutches a thigh—the meaty part and it feels hot and thick under his palm. “—jus' tell me 'bout the mattresses.”

Jared warmly smiles, not even acknowledging Jensen's hand. It feels too right to mess with as long as it remains on the thigh. “The insets for the mattresses will only have to be an inch thick—at most, two inches. I'm not sure if I want them to pop out a little from the floor or sink into the floor. I'm looking for alternate ways rather than sticking the mattress on a flat surface where it'll move constantly with, uhm...certain motions.”

“Good thinking ahead. Okay...” Jensen attempts to use Jared's thigh as leverage to stand, but his legs are giving out on him, and his back is killing him. “— ** _shit!_** I overdid it at work today. Trying to show my employees I'm not as old as they think I am.”

Jared's brow furrows with sincere concern. “Tell me where it hurts the most.”

“...my legs...then my back— _lower_ back...”

“Liniment.” Jared's been sniffing the air around Jensen. “You had to put on a lot this morning to do your usual work today.” He doesn't know why but he's a little upset by this thought.

“I was in the workshop again all morning, then the warehouse bay loaded the trucks for furniture delivery—they needed the extra hand...”

Jared furrows his brow in perplexity, because he can't imagine why an Alpha would lower himself to working such tasks, especially when he's still hurting. “Did someone call out sick?”

“No. I don't mind working the menial jobs with my employees.”

“You were already in pain, yet you still...” Jared is a little miffed about knowing this fact—that Jensen would do this to himself. He lets his hand inch up Jensen's biceps, across the broad shoulders. He breathes through his nostrils, chest slowly heaving. As he reaches Jensen's neck, Jared's hands can feel the quickening pulsations of the heart beats and the senses that the taut skin tells him Jensen is holding his body with too much tension. “Close your eyes. Take deep breaths for me.” He demonstrates along with Jensen. “Feel my touch. Focus on my hands.”

Jensen does it for affect, but then at a certain point, his body follows the low timbered command and his mind trails behind. He's been wanting Jared to touch him so badly; he's able to focus and can sense the heat and thrum of Jared's skin against him. He becomes a little woozy. “ _whoa!_ ” Jared leans in, his hands steadying Jensen's neck, but then he merges their foreheads to maintain a certain balance. “— _jesus_...what is _this_? What are you doing?” Jensen feels light-headed and cool, like he's transparent.

“... _good_...” Jared exhales with a smile; his own eyes are closed. “You're mind is open and able to focus. You can tune into your own body. Tell it what you want—even if it's just to stand on your feet...let the pain go...”

“ _christ_...you make it sound so easy.”

“It is. You're halfway there already.”

Jensen places his hands on top of Jared's. “You won't let me go?”

“no, _love_...not if you don' want me to.”

“—just until I stand.”

“Of course.”

With such delicate steps, Jensen gets off one knee—Jared rises up slightly—and then they both stand in a crouch next...but they lift as one solid body. Jared sways close to Jensen's chest wall as Jensen smirks and squeezes Jared's hands. Jensen finds he can't help chuckling because, for the moment, he feels absolutely no pain in his back or his legs. He lifts his lids to catch Jared nearer to him than he expected with eyes still shut and lashes fluttering against flushed cheeks. He's so damn tempted to swoop in and kiss Jared senseless—he doesn't know if it'd be a simple lip-lock or something dirty and rough, with tongues dueling and teeth clanging.

Eventually Jared reopens his lids, his hazel eyes staring intently down into wide green; he brings his hands up to soothe over cheeks and along the strong jawline. “If you have to go upstairs, I'd move now. I'd even suggest a hot shower...or a bath if you still feel dizzy, like you're spinning when you stand still.” He lowers his chin to chest, dropping his hands from Jensen's face, then tucks his arms behind his back so he can no longer touch so freely, no matter how much he craves the sensation.

Jensen back-walks out of the room. It's difficult to explain what he's feeling or what exactly was done to him by Jared's own hands. “Tell them to start dinner without me, if I don't make it down again.”

“I will.”

“—thanks, Jared.”

“ _mmm-hmm..._ ” Jared waits until he doesn't scent or feel Jensen anymore before he tries to start moving his own body. He has to deep breathe evenly, feeling the combination of back and leg pain—he lets out a huge hacking cough, where he needs to take a seat and collect his random feelings and emotions tumbling around inside. He has to take a few minutes to pass through the initial pain—that he actually took from Jensen—before he can even deal with the residual remnants left once everything else was cleared...this deep, desperate want of... Jared opens his eyes to realize that despite every effort to stay out of Jensen's way, the lead Alpha is still aroused by him and shows a genuine interest.

 _Christ!_ He doesn't know what to do with that, but he does know that he has to do _something_...either embrace the feelings and encourage or deny and reject the advances.

==&&==&&==

 **TBC...**


	9. Chapter 9

Jensen hates how easily manipulated he was into taking a soak in a drawn bath. He climbs in as the waterline rises and decides to relax and work on his sore muscles. The only thing missing is a companion to join him—one in particular.

He had been so close to kissing Jared; Jensen licks his lips wet to sense how he thought the sensation would feel like. He touches his chest, shaping his hands down to ride his abs and let his fingers fall into the upper curls of his pubic hair. He's semi-hard and beginning to throb. He cups his groin and slides fingers along the inside of his thighs. He caresses them backward to spread his legs wider as he fondles his testicles, letting a lone finger slip into the start of his crack, from the perineum.

That extra feeling of rubbing over his puckered entrance often gets him harder. It's why he's so good with male Omegas; he understands why they love knotting.

He can usually jack himself off on a solo run; it's never a huge orgasm, if his knot isn't full, but he'll release a bodily orgasm that's undeniably pleasurable. This time, no matter how hard or soft he strokes...if he juggles or tugs on his balls...and even circling his anus in a slight tease, just barely sticking the tip of his finger inside...he can't reach that same pinnacle to come down from.

Jensen knows why. He doesn't have the courage enough to take something that isn't being freely given.

And it's soon discovered that the only way Jensen will have _any_ relief tonight, or any of other nights, is going to be from Jared...more importantly—Jared's own hands.

==&&==&&==

Jared's been standing at the kitchen counter, to the left of the stove. He has a mug out with a tea bag in place, watching the tea kettle boil.

Sophia and Steve wander in, engaging Jared in a lively conversation, then start to bring out food and pans to work on making dinner.

Jared responds in kind to every statement or question directed at him, keeping up with their shared laughter, feeling sympathy and nodding his head when he agrees, but his main focus is on listening to the water pipes in the ceiling.

Clearly, Jensen didn't choose to shower; he's taking a long soak in his bathtub. Jared had started boiling the water about ten minutes after. He knew he needed proper time for the tea to seep, but mostly it's to allow Jensen to be by himself—do what he has to do in order to feel relief.

Jared's making the lead Alpha some tea that will help relax his muscles and, hopefully, help him sleep better tonight. And to combat the return of the pain, should that happen before Jensen falls asleep, there will be an offer of a simple back and/or leg massage...nothing more or less.

When Jared hears the pipes sound again—this time being drained—he doesn't want to be rude, but he casually makes his way out of the kitchen, carrying the tea with him like he has a purpose.

Steve and Sophia only assume that the tea was for the Omega and he only wants to be alone to enjoy it. It's not anything different or strange that he hasn't done plenty of other nights before.

Jared carefully balances the ceramic mug with him, reminded of those moments he did this for his mother Omega. He stops mid-step, shyly smiling at the jolt from the memory of her, then rubs two fingers over his heart. At least it's a _good_ memory this time. He walks down the hall to the familiar door, waiting another minute or so before he knocks.

“ ** _Come in!_** ” The words aren't yelled, but they are strongly commanded not simply said.

Jared opens the paneling, standing in the doorway, holding the handle in one hand, while placing his palm under the cup like a protective coaster. “I'm here with reinforcements.”

Jensen crosses the end of his bed frame, halfway to Jared. “What's _that_?” It's jarring to see Jared in front of him, after the thoughts he had during his long soak. He's a little disturbed by the intention of a hot drink, mainly because he's not used to someone “taking care of” him, for once. Jensen is unsettled, if not a bit irritable.

“It's only tea. It'll help your muscles relax and you...to sleep better.” Jared is realizing it's different when he's right in front of Jensen, to feel that draw, or need, to take care of the lead Alpha. He can be downstairs and arrange in his mind exactly how he's going to approach the moment, but being _in_ this moment with Jensen actually there and...only dressed in a towel secured about his waist—it's not going to go the way he wanted or how it played in his mind. The first fact being, he's now nervous and jittery. “Not right away...like out like a light, but you won't be tossing and turning all night.”

Jensen considers in his own thoughts that he won't toss or turn if someone is laying in bed next to him. “uh, sure. Just put it—” He frowns when he sees Jared standing stiff as a board, not crossing the threshold, like there's a force-field preventing entrance. “— ** _what_**?” For a mere minute, Jensen let it slip his mind that this Omega wasn't in his pack and a possible candidate for his mate—it just feels like he's inviting anyone of his other pack members into his bedroom. Weird, he never thought he'd feel that way with Jared or an Omega he was thinking about pursuing.

Like always, Jared's just _there_...even when you know you didn't need him; Jared is always ten steps ahead of everyone else.

“I know I knocked and you said to come in...” Jared demonstrates with his hands how he knocked and Jensen asked him to enter, then he tries not to move too much, going still. “—but you didn't really know who it would be.” He plants his feet like he's standing at attention; the hand he used as a pseudo-coaster goes behind his back. “Will you permit me to enter your bedroom?” It's just wrong of him, as an unmated Omega, to be too lax in his place around this house—even when he's alone with Jensen.

“jesus, man...yes- _yeah_...get the fuck in here...” Jensen isn't tired of all the formality Jared uses because the actions show him how in control the Omega is, and how out of control Jensen has been. Deepening green eyes follow Jared as he wanders in, setting the steaming mug down on the lower dresser top. “...what's up with you?” He's not upset, he's simply wanting to understand how quickly Jared could change his ways toward him. After weeks of keeping distant, it's making Jensen wonder why Jared's even here, in his bedroom, offering him a cup of brewed tea.

“What?” Jared goes back to crossing his arms behind his back. If this were anyone but Jensen—this attractive, half-naked enigmatic lead Alpha—Jared wouldn't be tangling his fingers in knots and playing with balancing his hands on the drawer faces behind him. Instantly—because of the “doorway” he opened between them downstairs—Jared is feeling a wave of intense heat...a powerful jolt of predatory pheromones wafting over to him. It's as if he can scent the sexual tension building between them.

One hand on his hip, the other being used to talk with, Jensen goes on to explain, “For weeks now, I've been...” He scratches the flailing hand over his chest, not knowing why he's caressing himself as he talks to Jared. He's never been vain enough to flaunt his appearance at Betas or Omegas. “—there's been _nothing_ coming off you, giving me _any_ indication you cared about me.” Hand on hip and hand on chest fold over one another to cross at Jensen's mid-sternum. “I show a little sign of pain and weakness...and now...I'm not sure how to take the ' _offer of tea_ '.”

“It's a friendly offer.” Jared's beginning to feel heady from the sensations he's getting from Jensen; it's difficult to split apart his feelings as an Omega, an Omega spiritual guide and this lost-n-lonely cub excited by his first mating reaction. He doesn't know how he's able to talk coherently, because his tongue feels thick and his throat dry. “I see pain, I want to erase it.” Jared is partly sitting down on the low dresser's top, mainly using it to lean on so he doesn't fall down.

“So... _what_?” Jensen isn't sure he should take that as a good enough excuse. “I'm just, like, another client to you? Another pack member to 'mother' over?” This time he's got both hands on his hips, jutting the pelvic bone outward as if to prove his virility.

Jared hangs his head a bit, but doesn't keep it down for long. He understands what Jensen means, why he's agitated, and so frustrated. “You're more than just an Alpha to me...Jensen.” He closes his eyes because he almost slipped and called the lead Alpha “love” again, like he did downstairs. Jared reopens his eyes but doesn't raise his head— _ohlord_...Jensen even has beautiful feet where dark blond hairs trickle up from the ankles to shapely calves. “I don't feel it's necessary to put you into the other pack's problems, the issues I plan to work through with them. I only saw a friend—if I can call you that—in pain, and... _I was there_...”

Jensen can't help but release a wide smile, because Jared's the same way with chores around the house—he's always right where he needs to be and he gets the fucking job done. “—and you saw that I needed to... ** _not_** _be in pain_.”

“Yes.” Jared speaks rather low, like a whisper. “There was nothing more meant. I'm sorry if you—” He never even saw the feet pick up and start to move across the carpet—Jensen was just in front of him...not but a few inches away.

“An'...what if I was feeling...” Slowly, Jensen has prowled closer to Jared. “...lust...or desire? Want...or need?” He lifts his left eyebrow in curiosity, though Jared doesn't see the motion. “Exactly what would you try to do for me then?” Jensen doesn't have to take off the towel around his waist for the Omega to know there was a stiffness growing underneath the material.

“uh, I thought you'd relieve yourself” Jared dips his head even lower, if possible, and his voice goes almost hushed. “... _in your bath_...”

“So did ** _I_** , but...I _couldn't_. I _can't_.” Jensen throws hands up in annoyance of how defenseless he feels. “Apparently, it's because my hands aren't the ones I want, or need, on my body.”

“Jens—” Jared lifts his head as Jensen makes a move toward him, but he stops himself in stunned shock, thinking the lead Alpha means to grab him and possibly kiss him out of frustration.

Jensen considers nearing Jared to only veer off and head to another, taller, dresser, and he's finding clothes to put on. “Why did you bring me this tea... _really_?”

Momentarily startled to quiet, Jared lets his jaw hang open. It's clear to him that Jensen isn't upset with him, but himself. He remains standing where he is, closing his eyes as he gulps his next breath down to talk ,easing his own tension. “I care...an' I worry.” Jared opens his eyes, swiveling his head to look over at Jensen as he digs through several drawers to place clothing over his bare shoulder. “I know I can be further help to you with your, uh...” It's too easy to make it seem like he means something else entirely, especially with his flushed skin and his stammering. But Jared'll try to work out the truth if it takes him all night. “...uhm, if your back and legs...still ache...” He did show up for a purpose and he means to make the same offer like he did with the tea.

Jensen is roughly tugging on drawers and slamming them shut. “They do, but now I'm working on a raging hard-on.”

For the first time in years, Jared releases an outright hearty laugh, then quickly covers half his face and mouth. “shit, man...I'm sorry. That was so rude of me.” He tries to clear his throat and not smile, or laugh again. He's not quite sure why he finds what Jensen said ridiculously laughable. “Not laughing **_at_** you, but **_with_** you— _eh, if you had been laughing_...”

And that's when Jensen busts out with his own wild grinning, and stilted chuckling. “God...I am so fucked up.” He has piled the clothes over his shoulder, a nervous hand sliding over the side of his reddening neck. Jensen knows he has to be deeply crimson by now, since there's no stretch of skin Jared can't see. “— _you have no idea_.”

“No, I think I do.” Jared feels as if something had been torn down between them, or severed from snapping to wound them both. The predatory heat is gone, replaced by a cool warmth and the scent of sex is faint, like a spraying mist. “We're all pretty fucked up in our own ways.” He picks up the mug and walks it over to Jensen; he feels it's safer to approach now while the lead Alpha is at his most vulnerable—sweetly tender and self-effacing. “Honestly...I'm here as a _friend_ , if you want one. Not as an Omega, but as me— _Jared_.” Jared has truly only been close to one person—Milo—and he has friends he works with, but none of them are as close as he'd like them to be. He does have ex-clients he's befriended in the aftermath of him helping them heal and move on in their journeys, but he doesn't consider them as close as best friends or a loving sibling; he tends to think these pack members feel they desperately owe him depths of gratitude so they lay in wait for him to call in favors he needs. Jared scratches at his hairline, dipping his head. “I have a few tricks up my sleeves that could help you work through the pain. This tea...is one; the other...are my hands. I've been told they work on bodies like magic.”

“I know. I've _seen_ their power...and now I've _felt_ it.” Jensen takes the cup by the handle, brushing fingers over Jared's skin. “— _man...what the hell did you do to me_?” He has his chin bowed as he speaks under his throat, shaking his head and closing his eyes as he blows at the hot steam. Jensen can't pinpoint what, or why...but he feels slightly altered, a little different from when he walked through the front door and found Jared in the living room.

“It's more of a mind _trick_.”

“...eh, more like _mind-fuck_...” Jensen mutters a little rudely as he goes to take a tentative sip of the brewed liquid. It doesn't smell too bad—almost like Chai tea, but he's just never been a huge tea drinker.

“uhm, okay, sure.” Jared is a tad uncertain what he does is _exactly_ like that, but... _whatever_. “It's very simple. If I just told you—' _Jen, I want you to close your eyes and focus on the last happy memory you had as a child_ '...you don't know what I exactly want. Your mind simply wanders. Probably not even reaching childhood.” Jared moves around to lean his left shoulder on the tall dresser Jensen stands beside. He's enjoying the fact that Jensen is slurping at the tea as if he actually likes it more than he wants to admit. “Most people lie in their own heads to protect themselves. But, if I'm touching you...” He puts up his arm, bent cross-ways in front of him as he turns his palm out. “— _may I_?”

“uh... _yeah_ -yes...” Jensen is sipping the tea, not even aware that Jared is closer to him, hand out as if to caress him. He'll take anything from the Omega at this point.

Jared merely presses his left palm over Jensen's right pec—the skin is warm, soft but the muscle beneath is harder than he imagined. He's tempted to knead the flesh with his individual fingers, for now he'll keep them still. “If I tell you to close your eyes now, then say...' _focus on where my hand is_ '...then to, uhm...' _feel my touch_ '... the skin's warmth...” While Jensen has his eyes closed, obeying the soft requests, Jared is almost nose-to-nose with him, sharing breathing space. “...an' then I cruelly ask you to find that same happy memory, you're more inclined to be obedient...”

Jensen slowly lifts his lids to find Jared's gaze on his lips and stubble. “You're so cruel. Taking advantage of me like that.” He's too smart to know it's Jared trying to outwit, or out charm, an Alpha. This has more to do with Jensen as a person—a man...not as a lead pack member.

“yeah, I know, but I can't help it.” Jared keeps his hand exactly where it rests, like he's daring Jensen to push him away or pull him forward. “You're kind of easy to manhandle.”

“Careful...”Jensen sips at the cooling tea; he feels too comfortable with the sensation of Jared's skin against his own. “—I'm still lead Alpha...this is my home...my bedroom...” _mineminemine_...is all that can rumble through his mind.

“I can take care of your _problems_.”

Jensen leans his right shoulder on the dresser, mimicking Jared's pose, making no move to knock the hand off his chest. “You mean—?”

“No...perv.” Jared uses his hand to shove at Jensen gently, then places his left arm along the slightly open dresser that's a few inches above a good perching level—like an arm rest. “I know we're both without mates, but you can't have me just 'cuz I'm here...and _available_.” He leans in to say those last two words, unaware that his fingers are brushing very lightly against the skin of Jensen's shoulder joint.

“ _jesus_...” This is a different scenario than plays in his head. Jensen's never had an Omega outright attempt to pursue or “play” with him. “—are you _flirting_ with me?” He wants to be sure before he makes a stupid assumption.

“Maybe...I don't know.” Jared shrugs the shoulder he's leaning on, so the arm shifts, meaning the fingers keep brushing against the bare skin. “I could just be _testing_ you.” He is, kind of, trying to find out exactly how much effort Jensen will use to try to attract him, if he is feeling that there's something building between them. “Don't you know I like to toy with Alphas...chew them up and spit them back out...” Okay... _now_ he's flirting.

“mmm...” Jensen slides around to rest his back on the dresser's shape, letting Jared's fingertips brush against the skin along his spine, between his shoulder blades. He's looking into the murkiness of the tea remnants inside the cup. “...you're kind of _feisty_ when you're aroused.” Jensen likes it, more than he should, but he's too afraid to latch onto it and be a true Alpha stereotype and make an advance

“I'm not—” Jared closes his eyes, then lifts his lashes languidly. He's pulling back his arm so now it bends inside the drawer and he hooks the fingers along the drawer lid. “...sometimes I don't allow myself to be aroused.” He shuts the drawer as he pulls away, knowing he's reacting with his own frustrations with _other_ Alphas, _not_ Jensen. “Just because an Alpha's in the room and his cock grows stiffer for me, weeping for a seeping hole to knot...”

The action Jared has done with the drawer had caused Jensen to fall back on the shape of the dresser, almost losing his balance. Jared puts out a hand to keep Jensen steady, but it shortens the distance they had been standing at previously. Jensen's lids are at half-mast, watching Jared step out in front of him, like he's going to push him against the furniture and kiss him—or maybe it's what Jensen _wishes_ Jared would do.

“ _oh, god_...” Jensen sways toward Jared as the mug of tea is swiftly taken from him, before he breaks the ceramic; he looks like he's about to faint from an overload of horniness. Jared takes the clothes to place them over his own shoulder in the meantime. “ _...I could listen to you talk all night..._ ” He feels a hand shape the side of his neck as if to hold his head upright. Jensen licks his lips as he blinks slowly, almost closing his eyes. “ _...jus' tell me stories about your work, but stick to the heats...the first knottings...and, maybe, the breeding rituals..._ ” He could seriously “get off” on Jared's voice alone—just like Adrian had threatened to him weeks ago.

Jared finds this intimate way of conversing, of light teasing with a tinge of sensuality, rather stimulating. “What do you usually do, Alpha...” He feels like a door has been opened for him to venture through, but he'll enter with some caution. “...when you can't find yourself a willing mate for the evening?” Jared is twisting his head around to catch Jensen's eyes; they keep closing and reopening only part-way. “...do you have... _something_...?”

“Nightstand. Top drawer.” Jensen answers without any shame or hesitation. He feels like he's about to float away, thankful that Jared is grounding him to the floor. What he truly wants to do is lay on that huge chest wall in front of him, cuddle close and go to blissful sleep. The Omega's shoulders are broad enough to be able to withstand Jensen's wide body-frame, maybe even his heavy weight.

Soon, Jared will walk over, curiosity getting the better of him, but he wants Jensen to find a comfortable position before he collapses and goes to sleep against the dresser, or his body. He gestures with his head to sit in the extravagant-looking chair near the small fireplace; Jared's not going to let Jensen walk on his own. With proper guidance by Jared's own frame and his arm around Jensen's shoulders, he walks with the lead Alpha to the soft suede cushion. “Why don't you go sit down on your chair...I'll take the cushioned ottoman.” As he sets the clothes over the top of the chair, Jared stays in the room until he sees that Jensen actually sits down. “We'll work on your legs first.” He hurries into the bathroom, hoping to locate some kind of squirty, oozing liquid he can use as a nice substitute for massage oil.

“ ** _Towel on or off, Jay—_** ” Jensen yells from the other room, realizing he went a step beyond informal. “ ** _—red!?_** ”

Too bad this bathroom looks nothing like Adrian's, who has tons of lotions and oils for the skin. Jared searches through lower cabinets in both the sink and a closet. “ ** _However you're comfortable!!_** ” He hasn't even heard Jensen's slight mis-step in his name. He sees only a simple generic hand lotion—it will have to do on short notice. Jared opens the cap to sniff and finds it a pleasant enough scent. “ _I'll be out in a minute...jus' looking for something to use to massage with..._ ”

When he returns to the bedroom, he notices that Jensen is no longer in the towel as it's being used to cover the soft leathery suede of the cushions; Jensen's donned a pair of tight boxer briefs, but Jared doesn't know whether to be grateful or aroused even more.

The backside is something to be admired and the way the muscled back tapers from nape of neck to the dimpled hollow of the lumbar spine. If the Alpha didn't pay such attention to his body, the boxers might have hung off his frame, instead his skin absorbs the material like it's nothing. The tops of the legs, from the back, billow out with sinewy shapes from the well-formed thighs. Jensen is only pulling the chair out to cover it in better lighting, then fixing the ottoman to sit an inch or more away from the end of the chair...although he doesn't quite know how to arrange the two pieces of furniture for Jared's liking. He isn't sure he's ever sat in this chair on purpose, sometimes he's used it to hold clean or dirty clothes from being left on the floor. Jensen takes a seat again on the cushion as he senses eyes on his back, and the possibility he's been ogled with his near-bare ass in the air.

Jared lets out a tiny smirk because Jensen is back to being that blushing virgin from before, in his office, and now it's become something he likes better the more time he spends alone with this Alpha. “Are you cold? Or chilled?” He'll let Jensen wear some of his clothes—any of the tops—or drape himself with another towel if he so wishes. He can see the pert dusky nipples and that there could be a slight shaking to Jensen's body—not of fear, but of doubt and anticipation. Jensen's been privy to Jared's guidance during sessions and he probably thinks this is going to be similar, not just a typical massage gotten in a spa. Jared wonders if Jensen's ever treated himself to any type of self-grooming techniques or routines—maybe he's just like other Alphas who think going to the barber shop and getting a cut and shave equates “man-scaping” or “taking care of” themselves. If Jared were mated to Jensen, and they belonged to one another...Jared would certainly see that he actually took care of those items for Jensen. _Christ!_ He has no idea why that thought just went through his mind.

“nah...I'm...good...” Or at least Jensen is trying to be as he settles his forearms on the armrests and then lays his head back on the soft suede super-sized throw pillows at his back. It feels weird to be naked on this kind of texture...like velvet silk petting him into taking a quick snooze. He wonders what Jared's own skin will feel like kneading his flesh, over muscles and tendons...there's a soft caress to the light hairs on his left arm. Jensen turns his head toward the side to catch Jared squatting beside him, hazel eyes staring at him, head tilted to accommodate the way Jensen's head lays, with light humor etched in the features. “huh?” He thinks he may have missed something Jared said.

“It's okay. I haven't spoken yet.” Jared's amazed at how well Jensen took to the tea; it's not a knock-out remedy so he can manhandle the lead Alpha without him knowing. Jensen's own body, his chemical make-up and his own tiredness is what's catapulting him into slumber—the tea was only there to make the moment smoother so Jensen didn't fight to stay awake. “I'm just going to explain to you what I'm going to do, so I don't shock you or...stir you into...” Jared nods his head, averting his eyes. He better get on with his explanations. “I'll start with your feet—seems dumb to go right to your legs, which I think are just the specific muscle groups of your thighs, outer and inner, screaming in pain since your over-exerted them. It's all inter-connected. If I start with one, then it flows up toward the next. I might as well start from the bottom, then go on up.” Jared takes a quick look at Jensen, not sure he likes the way he's being stared at with murky green eyes that seem to darken as the Alpha grows a little more weary. He throws down the hand towel and bottle of lotion to the ottoman's cushions. He pulls over a small side table to place near the chair, then goes over to snatch up the cup of hot tea that still manages to steam. He needs to find a coaster to protect the expensive wood on the side table.

Jared walks over to the nightstand, forgetting that Jensen had recommended he check the top drawer to find what object he used to...relieve his “sexual desires”. All he wants is a square or a circle of something he can use to absorb condensation, if the tea makes the ceramic sweat...but when he opens the top drawer, it's his own skin that flushes and begins to heat with a nice sheen of sweat. _God-damn_...was that a—he can't recall the name until the force of opening the drawer makes the huge object roll toward him...it's called an **Omega-light**. It's the sexual aide or toy that's equivalent to the male human **Flesh-light** or **Flesh-jack**. It's supposed to help house the Alpha's knot to simulate the tight hole of his Omega...or _any_ Omega, really. Jared swallows and can't help but lift it out of the drawer, tucking it to his body and carrying the object with him as he does find the “coaster-like” thing he was looking for. He takes a deeper search into the top drawer, thinking he might find oils or different lotions that might be better than what he has, but that's not the case—it's specific lubrication for the cock or the knotted cock. Jared slams the drawer shut, not meaning to be so loud. He swivels in his squatted position to find that Jensen hadn't even been watching him; his head is still in that turned position, when Jared had spoken to him not but five minutes ago.

Jared can't stand to see Jensen utterly knocked out and still not able to get rid of that slight shiver to his bare skin; now there's goosebumps and Jared's off to see if he can find a small throw or blanket to cover Jensen's upper torso. All Jared needs are the bareness of the legs—calves and thighs. He digs through the wooden chest at the end of Jensen's bed, pulling out a fleece blanket depicting the professional football team—the Dallas Cowboys. He snorts out a laugh—typical Alpha who lives and breathes the good ole boy Texas sports, both national and collegic. He wanders back over, opening the sewn hems to lay the throw over Jensen's upper body, tucking the material around the shape. Jared isn't sure why, but he places the Omega-light in the crevice between the Alpha's body and the side cushions of the chair. He's only going to take Jensen so far, then—if it's warranted—Jared will leave the Alpha to finish off what he started or got started.

The way Jensen is situated, he's in a slump off the pillows and his bottom is teetering on the edge of the chair's seat. Jared knows it's so he can have access to the thighs, though they are covered by the tight boxers. He can always lift up the material to get to the skin or tuck his hands up under and massage while they're still covered. Jared won't know what he'll do until he's right there...doing the action. He takes a place on the ottoman, finally, sitting to face Jensen—with the spread of the bowed legs in front of him. He places his own legs inside the wide berth, picking up the right ankle with some delicateness to set the back of the calf on the thick of his left thigh. Jared will work on the right foot first, then travel up the leg, from calf to knee...maybe by then Jensen will waken slightly.

Jensen never even knew he'd fallen asleep; he thought his dream was reality...then when his eyes open a bit, he thought reality was a dream...except in his dream there was a fire in the fireplace, crackling and illuminating the darkened bedroom. And Jared wasn't as fully dressed as he is now. Jensen's able to secretly watch Jared while he's massaging the sole of his foot, starting with the hard heel, then up the back of the ankle, then the thumbs come out to knead along the flat of the foot toward the toes...Jensen flinches, pulling his leg away at the tickling sensation to push back into the hands. “...sorry...did I kick you?” He's a bit fuzzy on his actions transferring from sleep into wakefulness.

“...it's okay...” Jared snorts out a light laugh. “I'm used to worse...and you did just wake up.”

Jensen spots the cup of tea on the side table, then stretches out his right arm to reach for the handle. He doesn't know why he's prevented from extending his body farther until he pulls back to look down at what sits between his body and the chair cushions. _Damn..._ did he actually bring this out in front of Jared? “uh...” Jensen doesn't remember much after that first sip of hot tea. _jesus christ_...he hopes he only took it out of the drawer and didn't use it in front of Jared to demonstrate, because his body vibrates with that potent release one often feels after a truly euphoric climax.

“...don' worry...” Jared can read Jensen's face way-too easily. “I brought it out for you... _for later_.” He's not even going to say much else, because 'later' can mean when he's no longer in the bedroom anymore.

Jensen takes the tea with some embarrassment flowing over his face and body. “...man...I can't believe it still makes me blush. After all these years.”

“I'm curious...” Sadly, Jared is trying to be serious. “...does it—can that thing take your knot? Is it long enough to, uh...when you ejaculate...” The images in his mind, alone, of its use with any Alpha is warping, but to think of Jensen...yeah, not really something he wants to consider with his body between this Alpha's spread thighs.

“Don't know...” Jensen clears his throat as he sets the mug on the thick portion of the armrest. “I don't fuck it to knot. I just use it to get off.” He glances down at it, every so often, hoping it will vanish in the next minute or so. It's shameful to have this out with a perfectly healthy and attractive Omega sitting in front of him. Like it's some type of slight to the Omega's natural ability. Jensen can see that it's even more embarrassing for Jared to see the object, laying so close to his body...his skin...then probably thinking of Jensen putting it to good use.

Jared slowly rolls both hands up from slim ankle, along calf and reaches the thickness of the extended kneecap. “... _oh,_ _love_... _nonono_...” He shakes his head without glancing up at Jensen. “ _...it's built to take all of you...you should treat it for what it was made for—why you purchased it._ ” Jared is “in a zone”, not paying attention to what he's saying or how he sounds to Jensen.

It's really cruel for Jared to slide up Jensen's leg, crawling along his flesh with warm fingertips, while speaking to him in that voice he uses to make his clients follow instructions. The hushed tone makes Jensen feels like giving over both of his legs to Jared's hands—to his keeping...letting him do whatever he wants with them or to them. “I didn't purchase it...it was a gag gift from my Alphas. But, sha...it's handy...excuse the pun...”

Jared softly laughs with the shake of his head as he looks at Jensen with a shy lift of his eyes. “Are you fully knotted now?” He hasn't bothered to look at how aroused Jensen may have become since he entered the bedroom.

“uh, no...” Jensen is safely covered by the throw that lays over his chest. He's warm and toasty by now, though his legs stay uncovered. “... _but I can be_.”

“ ** _Don't._** ” Jared takes a hard swallow, he starts to trade legs now. He'll do the same actions he did on the right to the left leg now, starting at the sole of the foot. “...I'll, uh...I'll help you along, as far as I can, but then I have to leave you by yourself.” There's a frown marring Jared's features and he isn't lifting his head again. “It'll be too much at once if I...take complete control of the moment from you.”

“I already feel like I'm rendered powerless.”

“Why?” Jared blinks then raises his chin to look at Jensen from under his lashes. “Because I'm getting to know all your secrets?” He's not feeling that predatory heat or scenting the sexual arousal _from Jensen_...he's genuinely feeling it pour _from his own body_ , like he could take charge of the moment and overwhelm the Alpha.

“No...well, yeah, but...” Jensen is too sleepy to lift his head, so he talks on while he's at a slant and tucked under the fleece blanket. “—you're here with me...” The tea may have rendered him utterly useless physically but he still has command of his words and thoughts. “...an' you know I need you—that I want you...yet you—” Jensen is finding it a bit difficult to work on a better vocabulary. “—you're not acting like the Omegas I'm used to.”

“Are those the ones you like best?” Jared does look at Jensen as he asks; he goes about massaging the left calf and ankle on down to the sole of the foot. “The ones who get on their knees, sticking their asses high and spreading their wet holes for you...”

“ ** _jesus christ!_** ” Jensen chokes out as he pulls his leg off Jared's lap to sit forward. He rubs a hand over his shorn spikes, feeling like he's about ready to spiral down the drain. “ _...don't_ ** _touch me_** _when you talk like_ ** _that_** _..._ ”

“Sorry...” For a brief time, Jared sits there and lets Jensen lean forward toward him. “I truly am.” He doesn't mean to force the Alpha to feel much of anything. “This is my first session of any type with an Alpha, alone. Normally I guide Omegas and Betas through sexual hang-ups.” Jared scoots the ottoman back a few inches, giving Jensen some space where he's not crowding him. He does lean forward, placing his elbows on his knees so he and Jensen can speak in this weird, hunched-over space. “The Alphas who have issues of this nature...they're given to the Omegas who are unmated and seek out to dominate an Alpha at his most vulnerable. I've seen it done once, but I had to leave the room.” Jared shakes his head as he folds his fingers together to tangle them to drape loosely between his denim-covered knees. “I couldn't stand to see the Alpha forced to his knees and weakened...”

“Look...” Jensen reaches out with one hand to clamp around one of Jared's knees; he's placing his hand in the same spots he did downstairs. “—I don't feel _that_ way—not the 'forced' part. I'm a little wary...maybe a bit scared, but I have the weirdest sense of trust in you. That you'd care, even if I felt vulnerable and powerless.” He wants to say more, but he can't...he's actually staring down at Jared's hands dangling between those huge knees. “ _christ_...” Jensen chokes out the word as he trails his hand along to grip the bond of Jared's hands together. “—do you know how long I've waited to have those hands all over me...” He's trying to undo the tangled formation, to separate the hands so he can hold them in his own. “...caressing me like I see you do for everyone else in this pack...?”

“I'm gonna take a wild guess... _awhile_...” Jared is suddenly left breathless when Jensen takes his hands into his own, then presses a kiss to the tops of each one. “... _oh.my_...” He's not prepared for the sight of a bowed head over his own hands as if they're precious and sacred—or maybe Jared is what's precious and sacred.

Jensen knows he's taking a wild chance with his action, but he has to react quick with what he's feeling in the moment. He hopes he isn't appearing too forward, or desperate with his gesture, though he'd rather be kissing lips instead of hands. But he knows exactly how to grab the Omega's attention—these hands are priceless—and he settles them on the tops of his own hands.

It feels oddly perfect for Jared. Jensen has officially become, by far, one of the most rare, unconventional lead Alphas he's ever met. He's like a lost treasure found—or at least to Jared he's become as such—and Jared can't see tainting him with his problems. Jared flips his hands to mesh palms with Jensen, squeezing in kind, then he lifts his right hand to soothe the skin on the back over Jensen's stubbled cheek. He leans forward more, his dark-brown bangs catching on the short dirty blond spikes. Jensen was right to ask, before, about what Jared had done to him—this “doorway” that Jared had mistakenly opened was some spiritual portal that connected them beyond this realm. Jared had no idea it would be there or that they would have such an instantaneous bond forming.

Jensen closes his eyes, feeling his heart's rate increase and his breathing become labored. He's not fully aroused as much as he's highly stimulated in other ways by Jared's touch...his nearness...his scent...the simple way he breathes. He licks both lips wet, biting down on the bottom one to contain his want to groan out loud as he turns into the caressing of his face.

Jared's voice is right in Jensen's ear canal. “ _...lay back, love...I still have more to do...your thighs..._ ”

Jensen isn't going to claim one single culprit to why he feels this lightheaded and weightless. He had been tired and achy all day, he's nervous and weirdly agitated around Jared...Jared had given him that deliciously comforting tea, making him relaxed and extra-sleepy and then there's the pure magic of Jared's hands keeping him entranced. Jensen shifts backward to lay down, moving his body to settle lower in the chair. Jared's legs—his knees, actually—can reach the end of the cushion Jensen is sitting on and he almost places himself on the lap created by the thick thighs and long legs. The backs of Jensen's thighs rest on the tops of Jared's knees. Jensen's legs are completely splayed open, an over-sized pillow rests under his lower back and there's one cradling his head as he settles into the back cushion of the chair.

He feels Jared tenderly rolling back the short legs of his boxers so his hands can reach the crease at the top. It's an intimate caress that should've made Jensen grow more erect or illicit sounds out of him of a sexual nature. But for now, he's truly focused on ridding his body of the senseless pain. He senses the cooling of the lotion though the warm hands knead and massage out the kinks and tension with each pressure point touched. Jared never becomes inappropriate and Jensen is grateful since he feels like he has no wits or common sense about himself. He's aware of Jared keeping his upper chest covered to stop Jensen from shivering; Jensen has no excuse for the quaking because it's coming from deep within and he's pretty sure he hadn't been suffering all day. It has to have been since he had seen Jared after arriving home or there after.

Jared shakes Jensen to open his eyes fully. “...hey, I need you to stand so we can shift you around and I can get to your back...”

“—how?” A frown mars Jensen's face.

“...give me your hands.” Jared holds out both of his. “I'll stand as you stand.”

Jensen still doesn't know how they'll accomplish the movement, but he fully trusts Jared. “oh-kayyy.”

They manage to do that very thing, like they did downstairs in the living room.

“...now, if you can, move out-of-the-way.” Jared lightly taps Jensen on the waist, over a hip, to move his feet. “I'll push the ottoman to bump against the chair and make you a flatter surface.” He's making wide, sweeping motions with his hands because that seems to be the only thing Jensen's will pay attention to. “Then I'll need you to lay on your stomach.”

“...jus' my back, huh? My lower back?”

“... _yeah_ -yes. Why?” Jared doesn't understand what Jensen is trying to get at, if he's attempting to tease or flirt. “Was there something else—?”

“ _nonono-nah_...back is fine.” Jensen closes his eyes as he shakes his head, then sighs as if feeling despondent or regretful he's not using this time alone with Jared to his advantage. “Don' know what I was thinkin'. I'm, like, out of it.” He swishes his hand in mid-air to swipe away whatever may come out of his mouth in the next few minutes. “Don' mind me.”

Jared moves everything, even Jensen, as he stands there clamping a hand on the lead Alpha's shoulder, then lets his caress trickle down the naked back. Jensen shuffles to brush against Jared's side, like he might want to cuddle standing or lay on Jared's back as he hunches over. “ _I'll make this quick, love...you're more than ready for bed..._ ”

“ _mmm...you should stay the night_.”

“ _huh_?”

“ _What_?”

“What did you say?”

“I'm not— _huh_? Did I, uh...?”

“Jen, it's okay.” Jared softly chuckles, having heard every word Jensen stated. “I know what the tea can do to some people. It's different for everyone. At least you're not stripping.”

“ _You wan' me to_?” Jensen traces his thumbs around the underside of the elastic to his briefs.

“ _What_?”

“ _huh_?”

“Did you just offer... _to strip_?”

“uh, I'm not sure, uh... _what_?” Jensen rubs a hand over the side of his face, finding it strange that he's not blushing as profusely as he usually does. “I don't know what's wrong with me.”

“I do.”

“Yeah?”

Jared nods his head, going on to explain. “Your inhibitions. You're at such a relaxed state that your guard is down. You're saying whatever pops into your head.”

“I _am_? Wow, _really_?...” Jensen is stunned by this fact though he's in the exact moment they're talking about; he had no idea he was that repressed to need to ever let any kind of “guard” down. “I _do_?”

Jared spreads out the towel Jensen had used over the chair and ottoman, watching the Alpha drop to a knee on the cushion to slowly tumble to his hands so he can arrange his body, flattened out. Jared's had removed the extra-large pillows, throwing them to the opposite side onto the floor. Jensen keeps his arms loosely by his sides and his feet are just barely hanging over the edge of the ottoman.

Dropping to his own knees, Jared is at the right side of Jensen's body. He bends low to speak into an ear. “I'm going to do some deep tissue massaging to your back, so tap me if I hit any sore spots, then I'll know what areas to concentrate most on.”

Jensen has some idea Jared will stay on the floor, but he doesn't. He grabs the bottle of lotion and places one knee [ his right ] on the outside of Jensen's right knee, ending up straddling just under the curves of the Alpha's backside. Jensen can feel the soft brushes of rough denim on his bare skin, feeling the heat radiating off of Jared's body, especially from inner thighs and the crotch area. Jared squeezes out a generous amount of lotion into his palm, then warms the liquid between his hands. He rises off his knees, bending over to loom above Jensen; to start, his hands cup the shape of the neck. He manages to balance himself quite precariously as he kneads the shoulders, the shoulder blades and begins trailing down the indentation of the spine using the tender pressures of his thumbs as a counter-action to the over-all massage technique.

Jensen winces at one instance, his hand flinching to tap Jared, but the Omega is off the spot and three steps ahead—the soreness has vanished. He makes tiny grunts under-breath because when Jared said “deep tissue” massaging, he wasn't skimping. Jared is now up to using his whole forearm and the under-curve of his elbow joint. He's been working on Jensen's upper back when the throat sounds began. As Jared leans above Jensen, his face nears Jensen's neck and wherever his head was turning to face out, over the shoulder. Jensen swears he can hear an interesting humming noise, almost like a throaty cooing to ease and calm. Whatever it was, whomever performs the sound, Jensen dives into a semi-trance until Jared goes to start the same motions on his lower back.

The second the elbow joint hits a spot on Jensen's lumbar region...Jensen actually bellows out in serious agony, trying to sit upright, forgetting Jared is above him. Then the next ten seconds play out like a comedy of errors...Jared unbalances on his knees, the ottoman tips...Jared shifts to the other knee to push the ottoman to the floor...Jensen writhes in pain as he attempts to back off of his prone position, only to tangle his feet and part of his leg with Jared's body and long limbs...the ottoman tips again and Jensen almost falls [ rolls ] backwards, but Jared catches him with what he thinks is the Alpha's entire waist, but turns out to only be the elastic waistband of Jensen's briefs as they're pulled halfway down the—now—naked body...Jensen tries to grab for Jared to steady his body and ends up pulling off Jared's t-shirt from the back collar...both men are too far apart to not complete their motions, but as they complete the first ones—where they undress one another, accidentally—they both do second moves to counter-act their fall to the floor anyway...at least the ottoman doesn't topple over on top of them...

Jensen has done a smooth slide to the carpet, somehow managing to drag the towel with him, between his strong thighs as his briefs drop. Jared does a swift flounce where he yanks his head and one arm out of his t-shirt before Jensen strangles him; the cotton material dangles off the other arm, collecting around the bend of an elbow. Jensen goes down first with the side of his head smacking the floor, Jared comes down shortly after, knees braced wide. Although one kneecap ends up landing on Jensen's flat stomach.

“ ** _—unghhhff!!_** ” Jensen grunts out in misery, and pain, as he lets go of Jared.

“ _oh, jesus! christ!_ ” Jared moves his knee as he springs upright to look down at Jensen's crumpled form curled into a fetal position. Briefs are slightly ripped and totally not where they should be, but the material of the towel has fallen at an opportune time. “ ** _Jen!! You okay?!_** ”  


==&&==&&==

 **TBC...**


	10. Chapter 10

Jared is heavily panting, his upper chest clearly showing signs of needing to catch his breath as he tries to make sure that feet and ankles aren't injured, working his hand upward. It slips his mind that his skin is touching Jensen's outer thigh and then the bare butt cheek.

Jensen shivers from the subtle caressing; he's in instant pain and feeling raw, coupled with a glorious sensation of real pleasure. “Don' apologize.” Green eyes try not to drink in the sight of Jared's bare torso hovering, so he averts his gaze. “I's my fault—brought you down wit' me.”

It hasn't even phased Jared that he's half-naked when he situates his body to sit at the bend of Jensen's knees; his right arm is braced on the other side of the Alpha, near Jensen's right hand he had attempted to lift his curled body with. “uh-no, no, don't.” Jared grips the stalk of the limb tight; the muscles of his whole arm are bunching and flexing. “Stay still.”

“Why?” Jensen winches as he straightens his back, still laying half on his left side and partly on the floor.

“Well, fuck, man...” Jared snorts out a stifled laugh. “—tha's not a good sign—you shootin' upright like that from me touching a muscle in your back.” He places the back of his left hand to barely skim the area he has an idea where the pain came from, but doesn't caress—not yet. “It's probably 'pulled'...or 'strained'.”

Jensen rolls his eyes, giving off a frown. “Of course it is, 'cuz it fuckin' hurts like a bitch!” He doesn't mean to snap at the Omega, since it hasn't hurt too bad since it was touched; he's working off fear that it will cause that stinging pain again. Jensen's knows Jared too well; he knows Jared wants to touch him again.

“oh, stop bein' such a baby.” Jared bumps his hip against the back of Jensen's thighs. “Let me check it again.” He scoffs at Jensen slapping his hand away, but manages to laugh it off, dropping his voice to a low timber. “I'll be gentle. I promise.”

“mmm...” Jensen almost lets out a slow-rolled growl, but he flips onto his stomach more, leaving his lower back exposed toward Jared. He also lets his entire bare backside slip into view, except it's covered by Jared's lower body; the Omega isn't here to ogle the Alpha's nudity. Jensen can feel the brush of rough denim against his heated flesh—Jensen's blush goes completely down his entire body.

Jared cups his palm along Jensen's ribcage, from the back, then rides the edge. _Nothing_. It has to be more inward, toward the spine. He palpitates the skin and it doesn't take him long to find the same spot; Jensen starts to flail and swear like a sailor. “Stop! Stop, for christ's sake!” In a matter of seconds, Jared is covering, and pinning, Jensen's chest to the carpet, muffling the Alpha's outcry. “The area is goin' into spasms. You'll hurt yourself more.” He even goes as far as to push his face against the side of Jensen's flushed cheek to keep his head stable. His lips are right next to an available ear. “Jus' breathe with me...” Jared puts out a hand to pet over the top of Jensen's head, then down the back to cup the nape in his warm palm. “...c'mon, _love_...in—an' out...” He inhales and exhales as he speaks. “...in—an' out...”

Jensen is almost laying face-down on the carpet with Jared splayed on top of him. He's a little relieved when Jared removes his head, at least. “How long I hafta stay like this?” Jensen keeps turning his head to lay a cheek on the floor.

“Not long.” Jared begins to fix his body so that he is on his knees, reaching out for his -t-shirt. It's still clutched within three fingers of Jensen's right hand. He yanks the material out, then places his head through the collar, working his arms into the short sleeves. “I'll try not to touch the spot again, until you're more relaxed.” As he pulls the t-shirt down his torso, Jared climbs to his feet, making a hurried dash to the bedroom door. He has just realized the paneling has been wide open to allow anyone to see what's going on, though they are well-hidden—still...the noises they've been making would sound odd enough to make someone curious. There's no need to shame or embarrass the Alpha further.

“mmm—yeah...” Jensen still believes Jared is on top of him, or half on top of him. It's the tea and his own exhaustion weighing him down. “I think I've been there for awhile—jus' kind of woke up...I could get back sleep again—I think.” He turns his head to the right to find Jared laying on the floor, facing him on his left, but quite a distance from his body. So how had he...?

Jared bends his left arm at the elbow to rest his head on. “You do know it's only tea, right? It's over the counter spices, Jen.” He furrows his brow in deep thought, some concern; he needs to catalog this information. “Is your body not used to drugs of any kind?”

Jensen gives a small shake of his head, still afraid to move. “Whatever it is...I'm startin' to feel reeeelllyyy good.” He shuts his lids and lets a smile spill over his lips.

Jared absently reaches out to brush strands of hair back on Jensen's forehead where it's smooshed flat. “A few minutes longer and we'll be able to roll you on your side or your back.” The hand slides down to cup the shoulder joint to reassure.

Jensen has got both arms bent and drawn up to his sides, so his fingers come out to point as he talks as it's the only movement he feels safest with, except for doing things with his face. “I stay here, on the floor?”

“Yes, 'fraid so.” Jared considers this to be the most adorable he's ever seen the Alpha, besides when he's shy and blushing like a virgin. He folds his arms in front of him, on the floor, then rests his head down so he can tilt his head at the same angle as Jensen. One side of his mouth slides up in a smirk. “Jus' a little longer.” Jared wants to reach out and touch more, wants it to be okay that he can freely caress and fondle Jensen—not “fondle” intimately, but just to be close to the Alpha. Well, he could reach over and try to cover the gorgeous bare bottom that's been on display the last few minutes, but he's never dropped his gaze any farther than Jensen's face.

Jensen flips his head again, only momentarily as he's trying to make sure he and the Omega are alone, no one else will see him like this, laying on in the nude on his bedroom floor. Then he flips back around to face Jared, hesitant to look at the laughing hazel gaze staring at him; his right cheek is flat to the ground. “By the way...” Jensen places his left hand near his face, using his index finger as he talks so he can lightly tap Jared on the arm with his fingertip. “... _sore spot_...”

Jared laughs loudly as he throws back his head. “I think I got that. Thanks for the clarification.”

Jensen feels his own face react to Jared's jovial response, fascinated by the long stretch of neck he's able to see. “You're welcome.” He does a roll of his hand, like a gracious bow. “I _do_ follow rules.”

Jared went back to laying on his arms, scooting closer to Jensen. He scrunches up his nose. “eh, I pegged you for something of a rebel.” Jared's teasing, of course, but it's a bit of truth—Jensen is somewhat of a rebel with his inability to be like other Alphas—other lead Alphas—that he's met before. Not everyone's idea of what a “rebel” means, but it suffices for Jared.

“Only when it counts.” Jensen notices Jared's eyes keep flicking over to an area on his body; it's not any lower than his shoulder blades, but it's leaving him curious nonetheless. “ _What_?”

“Nothing.” Jared blinks slow, then shakes his head as he buries his face away. “It's silly.” He speaks in the muffled hollowness of his arms.

“Jared...” Jensen snorts, actually rubbing an itch on his nosetip on the carpet as he returns to laying on his right cheek. “—I'm totally naked here, with a flaccid erection squished underneath me...the last shred of dignity I have is trapped between my thighs...I can take 'silly'.”

Jared chuckles deeply, conceding that it's a fair assumption by Jensen of his predicament. “You make me feel...” He clears his throat as he lifts his head out of hibernation, back to resting his cheek on his left hand. “—you make me wanna do the _weirdest_ things.”

“Like _what_?” Maybe it's the manner of his delivery, but Jared's admission sends the most naughty thoughts into Jensen's various expressions. “ _Kinky shit_?” He wants as many details as the Omega can give him.

“No, not...” Jared pauses to think. “...well, depends if you find it arousing or not.”

“—'kay, I'm curious.” Jensen tests his right arm to see if he can lay his head a little higher off the floor; he doesn't want the carpet to leave marks on his cheek if he's here for the night. “What is it?”

“I dunno.” Jared shrugs one shoulder, lowering his eyes demurely as he softens his voice. “I'd rather _show_ you.”

“uhm...” Before he can even say a solid “yes” or “no”, Jared's face nears, but instead of kissing Jensen—like he'd thought—lips went right for the exposed portion of neck and started... _nibbling?_ That's the only way Jensen can describe the sensation. “oh, god...” He closes his eyes in mild delight—it tickles. “...i's to be a slow torture for me, isn't it?”

“mmm...” Jared pulls back but not away. He can't explain why he wanted to taste Jensen's skin; he doesn't scent anything out of the ordinary. “...you taste like sugar cookies...” He licks only his top lip, wanting to have another bite or more.

“I— _what_?” Jensen seems outraged that even his flesh could taste unlike something of what a true Alpha would taste like—what would that be?...tobacco and leather or scotch and sex?

“Don't worry.” Jared nuzzles his nose into Jensen's neck and shoulder, a smile ghosting over his lips. “I _like_ sugar cookies.” His eyebrows raise as he dives in for more nibbles. “In fact, I like _any_ kind of cookie.”

“Jared...” Before Jensen can say much else—like “Stop”—Jared's back to nibbling at his neck, but then he begins moving over the niche of neck to shoulder, shifting across shoulders until Jared hits the rounded joint as he looks into startled green eyes. He ventures close to Jensen's face, but is still not going in the right direction for a kiss. Jared is at the hairline and temple while he continues to nibble; there has been several nudges added to Jensen's face as he tenderly licks the surface of the skin.

Jensen closes his eyes, scrunching his face up, at first, but after a while it's as if the action takes him back decades, when he was a very young 'cub' and he spent many nights on end with his mother Omega. It's a stark flashback to his past where he actually reacts playfully right back. He'll nuzzle in kind, then try to nip at Jared's jaw or chin, but the licking Jared began with the soft bites, they send him into such sensations of euphoria—a different sense of pleasure. It's as if he's back to being a 'pup' and a young 'cub', when the day-to-day toil of fighting against being sick earned him a special place with his mother Omega; she had always dried his tears and calmed his restlessness. With the effects of the tea and Jared's unusual form of calm, he shuts his eyes and warmly accepts the loving and affectionate gifts Jared wants to bestow on him. Jensen is able to move his body now; his back no longer spastic. He curls onto his left side, moving backward to nudge and wake Jared's front.

As Jared's been slowly nipping away at the Alpha, he's venturing more near to Jensen's naked form. He's still on his left side, his body shaping around the frame laying close to him, and now it's almost under his lower limbs as they tangle feet and legs. But Jensen's sudden movement, of turning to his own left side, then sidling backward...it's not something Jared's used to—an Alpha's submission. It's clear what's wanted as Jensen's bare ass fits perfectly in the concave of Jared's groin. There's nothing going on down there except minor stirrings—nothing is full or erect. Jensen lays still, not sure if Jared's reaction is rejection or if he's simply frightened, not expecting an Alpha to react in this manner. He knows Jared is interested in him but something is out of his control, holding him back.

“I have this reoccurring fantasy.” Jensen sighs heavily, then just rests with Jared behind him. He bends an arm under his head, somehow keeping the towel covering his groin area. “I've had it for years.” Jensen rolls enough to look over his right shoulder, catching Jared's flushed face and heavy breathing. The Omega looks utterly wrecked and in tatters; eyes shut and periodically biting at his mouth to hold back some reaction. “...come here, c'mon...lay down with me.” Jensen settles, half-turned while Jared aligns with his back. “c'mon, come closer...rest against me...keep me warm.” He loves when he feels Jared butt against his backside, then the face buries in his neck and an arm secures around his waist; the hand is rearranging the towel to cover more of Jensen's nudity. He's lying about needing warmth; he only wants Jared close to him.

“What is it?” Jared lays his left cheek between the broad shoulders

Jensen's too invested in how god-damn warm and perfect the Omega feels against him. “huh?”

“— _your fantasy_.” Jared doesn't mean to but he turns into the bare skin and opens his mouth, lightly nipping with teeth, then rolls lips over teeth and gently nibbles. There are too many trails of freckles for Jared not to lose his mind.

Jensen's not sure what Jared's doing behind him, to his back, but it's sending different sensations down his body. “uh, yeah...uhm, wow...okay, here goes.” He wearily leans into Jared, head turning toward him. “I feel it's only fair as you practically keep intending to nibble me to death.”

Jared snickers softly against the skin. “sorry...I _really_ like sugar cookies...”

They share a very subdued, intermittent laugh.

“I think it's no mystery to anyone I have no interest in mating with a Beta.” At least Jensen hopes he's made this point clear in certain instances. “The older I get, the more I just fuckin' want what I want...screw everyone else—tha's not my fantasy... _mating with only an Omega_.” He tightens his arm with Jared's around his chest. “I want to offer myself to him.” This is the first time he's saying this desire out loud, so yeah...it comes out a mumbled-jumbled mess.

“hmm?” Jared picks up “clue words” that signal to him that Jensen is telling him a rather intimate, private fantasy...and it's not a tease. He can feel the Alpha's body heat up like a furnace.

“My Omega.” Jensen takes the intentional marbles out of his mouth, clearing his choked throat. “I want to submit to him, like he will to me.”

Jared is absolutely stunned; he'll repeat the words back just in case he heard wrong. “You want your Omega to _fuck_ you?”

“yes...” Jensen sags his body right in the circle of Jared's arm, bringing up his right arm to tuck under his head as he tries to lay back down on the floor. “...all night, if he wants to.”

Jared's face burrows deeper into Jensen's as he rolls with him, the arm goes stronger. “If your Omega loves you as deeply as you wish him to...” He moves his right leg to curl about Jensen's two and tucks him close. “—he'll never allow you to do that to yourself.”

“ _What_? Take pleasure from his body?”

“No...” Jared bends his left arm, resting his head on his fist. He looks at the back of the dark blond hair as if he can see Jensen's face—he can barely see a profile of the face as it lays on a bunched muscular arm on the floor. “...be willing to see you that open and vulnerable.”

“Not even if I beg him?” It's like he's already asking the right Omega.

Jared bursts out with a forced chuckle at the image. “You'll be wearing your knees out.”

“Who am I, huh?” Jensen is shuffling his body so he can lay on his stomach, then lift to his bent elbows. It's mainly so he can turn to look at Jared on his left. “That I can't find the same pleasure in his body that he finds in mine?” He raises a dark eyebrow in curiosity. He stupidly adjusts his left leg which is caught between Jared's thighs, so his knee is nicely nestled in the apex of Jared's groin. “He's got a cock—it may not knot like mine, but...” Jensen puffs out a breath of frustration as he folds his arms to lay his head down, looking at the individual fibers of the carpet under him. “...what if I want him to fuck me?”

“Jen...” Jared rolls forward to bang his head against Jensen's biceps close to him; he lifts a hand to latch onto the shoulder joint.

“right-right...sorry...lemme me clarify...” As he still balances on his elbows, Jensen bends his face close to Jared's; their eyes are connecting on a whole different level of communication. “...I need _you_ to fuck _me—_ you know...when you find the time to recall I'm here, jus' waiting for you...”

Jared's quiet and a bit dumbfounded that Jensen would request something like that outright. He's not offended, but it's...like how a typical Alpha would talk and...it gets him a little aroused. “ ** _I_** couldn't ask **_you_** to do that.” Jared is mesmerized by the darkening of the green eyes, knowing full well the Alpha could be aroused himself, or getting there.

“Eh, sorry...jus' did.” Jensen flips his head from side-to-side like he's saying “nanny-nanny-boo-boo” in his head—which he is. He lifts his chin high and averts his head so he won't be caught up in hazel depths already driving him crazy. “Not gonna take it back.” Jensen rests his chin on a palm, now pretending like he's prissy and truly Alpha.

Jared slowly draws his leg, then his body, off and away from Jensen, but not before he uprights to give a forceful tug to that darn towel so he can finally cover the nude body respectfully as he rolls onto his back. “There are plenty of Omegas out there who'd be dying to be your mate, if this is truly what you want.”

Jensen is already shaking his head, like he doesn't want another Omega to even try. “nah, I've played that game. I've found _mine_...” He playfully leans into Jared's personal space to whisper quite loudly near an ear. “...an' it's _you_. Can't change my mind.”

“...oh, _love_...” Jared smooths a hand over his face to scratch at his jaw.

“ ** _gah!_**...what is _that_?!” Holding onto the top hem of the towel, using the material like a tiny blanket, Jensen shoves at Jared with his entire right side once he decides to roll onto his back like Jared has done. “It's been driving me insane because I'm just now hearing you say it, but I know you've been calling me that all this time.” He does a feline stretch of his back where he stretches both arms above his head, tentatively, so he can crack his back. “Am I right?” Jensen turns his face into his arm to glance at Jared.

“Yes.” Jared hates that Jensen looks a bit smug, but it's definitely adorable on him, since he isn't like this in his regular life. “It's something my mother—my mother Omega used to call me.” He's not sure Jensen is aware what he looks like with his arms still extended above his head, but he certainly is trying to appear downright sexy and erotic in some kind of fashion—whether it's to just be silly or to actually attract Jared even more. _Whatever_...it's working.

Jensen is keeping his arms raised to the height of his head simply because it makes his back feel good, but if he happens to ignite any reaction from Jared that will be fine too. “Did she call her whole litter that?”

“No...” Jared softens his voice as he averts his eyes, then almost rises to his elbows so he can get up and away from this insane and clearly horny Alpha. “—jus' me.”

Jensen can tell it's an emotional “sore spot” for Jared so he leaves it alone— _for now_. Somehow he manages to notice a small decorative pillow that rolled away from the chair when they were toppling over each other earlier. “Tell me your most secret, deepest _wish_ —not a _need_ or a _want_ , but a **_wish_**.”

The topic is such a deviation from what they had been talking about that Jared lets out tiny giggles around his question. “Why?” It's so random and...typically Jensen.

“Because...” Now Jensen is twisting his body to stretch, like it's normal for him to say such things while working out the “soreness” of his back. “...I'm gonna do everything in my power to make it come true.”

“uh, wha—?” Jared is clueless to Jensen's purpose. “Why—why would _you_ want to do that for _me_?”

“—because _my_ current secret, deepest wish...is to have my chance with you.”

“I don't understand. What are you...?”

On one of his rolls, he places a hand over Jared's mouth, then twists away again as he keeps on talking. “ _shush_ , let me get this out while my inhibitions aren't 'guarded'.”

Jared lifts a lone eyebrow in hilarity. “Letting your Omega fuck you wasn't ** _it_**?”

“No, smart-ass.” Jensen shifts to his right elbow, gazing down and over at Jared. “Pay attention.” He taps the spot near his lips as if he wants Jared to watch. “That was a secret...FAN-TA-SY...”

Jared puts up his hands in his own defense. “ah, sorry...my mistake.”

“Bygones. I want nothing in the way to distract us and I want all your focus to be on me and me alone. I want to...” Jensen moves his body to fold his legs in a specific way so he's sitting with the towel draped over his crotch. “I wanna be able to show you how good it can be with _me_ — _to be my mate_... _my_ Omega.” He still senses that Jared's not taking him too seriously. “I want us to skip over this business about sex and knotting, get to know each other...as Jared and Jensen.” Jensen notices that this has settled the Omega into silence. “At some point, the pack will be all up in our business, but...I need you to know how serious I am you before we do anything with the pack. I can take loss and rejection better than the pack can as a family.”

Jared looks away briefly before turning back to glance at Jensen. “Do I have to answer now?”

“No. Not expecting you to. I just...” Jensen is beginning to talk with his hands; he's over trying to be flirty and “Alpha”...now he just wants to be himself. “I need to know that if what I've been feeling is doable, would you be willing to work together with me to make this a real possibility?” He sees Jared open his mouth to speak but as he trudges on, Jared allows him to continue, “We're both past our primes to mate...now it's such a gamble, but I feel like we're getting through the hard stuff. I don't know, I'm ramblin'. Maybe I'm completely wrong about _this_ — ** _us_**.”

“No, you're not wrong about any of it.” Jared shakes his head as he gradually rises to lean back on his arms, legs stretched out before him. He'll try to be as honest with Jensen as he can be; he needs time away from Jensen to think about what's happening to give a better answer. “I like what I'm hearing, but...there's so much going on, I'm afraid of failing, of hurting everyone and halting progress. I have my job to consider, because—I don't know.” He'll shut up, for now, about his job, because that's a whole can of worms he doesn't want to open quite yet. “I'm at an age where I'm done making sacrifices for others and I'd like to see if it's possible for me to have a mate, to be mated with an Alpha, to be in a pack—to be who I am.” Jared notices Jensen nodding his head as he's listening intensely and taking everything being said. “I'm half-in-love with your pack already. I'm not certain how I feel about _you_...” Jared smiles when he hears Jensen softly chuckle at that comment. “—well, I've tried to behave, treat you like lead Alpha, but your pack is _you_ , and they dearly love you. You're not like any Alpha I've ever...”

“So...” Jensen keeps his head bowed slightly, fingers from the other hand playing with his pack ring. “...you're saying I have a chance?”

“uh, yeah...” Jared nods his head on a solid bounce, then tilts his head a little to the side. “I guess I am.”

“Good.” Jensen releases a tiny grin, looking over at Jared under lowered lashes. “All I need is a chance.” He tucks his fingers together as he sighs. “I'm patient.”

“I'm stubborn.” Jared adds his own characteristic that could turn Jensen off.

“I'm persistent” Jensen one-ups Jared, or tries to.

“I'm pushy.” Jared attempts a second reason not to pursue him.

“I'm Jensen.” Jensen holds out his right hand for Jared to take.

Jared can't deny the offer of a polite handshake, but he does one better...takes the hand but then wraps his other hand over-top of their bond to sandwich Jensen's whole appendage between his palms. “I'm Jared.”

“Nice to meet you.” Jensen swallows hard because that kind of handshake is unsettling and makes him feel like Jared's going to be the one person who always goes one or two steps beyond normality.

“Likewise.”

They sit there, hands still in “shake” mode, silly smiles shared between them.

Jared leans over, right at Jensen's ear; his hands around Jensen's allowed him to yank the Alpha toward him. “If you were mine to have, Alpha...I think I'd fuck you all night long.” At that, he gets off the floor and paces swiftly out of the room.

“ _...I'll get you back, Omega._ ” Jensen couldn't help but watch that backside leave his bedroom, then mutter this promise to himself.

==&&==&&==

It's funny how Jensen is fully aware he's dreaming and he knows that what's about to happen isn't real, but that his mind, and heart, don't seem discouraged in the slightest...

 **There he is, coming out of the shower, towel secure about his waist, steam billowing out as he exits the bathroom—which is impossible since his shower is on the other side of the room, several feet from the door—and moves to stand bedside. And magically—somehow—Jared has made it into bed before him. He's laying on his left side, back facing Jensen. Jensen gets one knee on the mattress and Jared starts rolling to peer over his shoulder.**

 **A long arm extends toward Jensen. “ _...I thought I'd have to wait forever, love..._ ”**

 ** _oh, yeah_...in Jensen's dream, Jared alternates between calling him “ _Jen_ ” and “ _love_ ”. He utters “ _Jensen_ ” at the culmination of pleasure...Jensen loves the sound of his full name upon release of an orgasm, said breathless and nearly inaudible as the throat constricts in ecstasy.**

 **Jensen never says much in these dreams, just watches Jared intensely: his face, his hands, his body. He lets Jared do whatever he wants to him; this time Jared untucks the towel knot and is immediately plastering his form against Jensen's, swiftly tugging and sailing the material of the towel over the bed. It's interesting how, since they've never kissed in real life, Jensen keeps that same instance in his fantasies. It's a thousand times more erotic for him to be tempted by hot breath from parted lips, then feel them nip at his neck, trailing down his body.**

 **Jared straddles him, a knee on either side of his hips. He's slowly moving down Jensen's frame, both hands tracing the lines of his torso to his waist. Jensen expects to feel a warm encasing around his cock or at least a strong hand jerking him, but when he opens his eyes, Jared is still straddling him, but the wrong way—reverse cowgirl [ _cowboy?_ ]—and he's completely nude. Jensen's fully engorged and knotted cock is erect and throbbing as Jared leans forward to grab Jensen's legs, sinking his body down, taking the tip into his well-lubricated hole. Jensen eyes his entire length, plus the knot, disappearing inside Jared as he does a little twist and thrust toward Jensen's pelvis; Jensen begins to counter-thrust each of Jared's movements.**

 **Jensen reaches out to hold onto Jared's hips, helping him ride his cock and he feels Jared's hands cover his to entangle their fingers. Jensen hates the distance of their bodies so he sits upright as Jared settles astride his thighs. Jensen kisses all over Jared's back, biting softly and nipping as he reaches Jared's shoulder; Jared always turns slightly to look behind to his lover, their heads and faces meshing. Jensen allows Jared to guide the bonds of their hands over his body and... _holyshit!_ Jared has a slight 'puppy mound' that sends Jensen spiraling right out of his dream-fantasy, back into real life...**

...where he's alone in his huge King-sized bed with a raging semi-erection, building to a hard-on. He's laying on his stomach, arms akimbo and legs in disarray. He usually sleeps nude, but with Milo needing to leave at the drop of a hat, he'd taken to dressing, sometimes in just briefs or briefs and sleep pants.

Jensen sighs heavy, face-planting off his pillow onto the mattress. His fingers scratch and claw at the fitted sheet below as he forms fists of sexual frustration. He's been so close to release, but his body and mind feel compelled to cockblock him even in dreams. Jensen flips his face back the other direction and, as he blinks to focus in the darkened shadows of his bedroom...he sees the silhouette of a shape at the side of his bed.

Jensen takes a shot in the dark. “... ** _jared_**?” His heart begins to race as he rolls to stretch and turn on a lamp.

“ ** _No! Don't!_** ” Jared clears his throat, having reached out to snatch Jensen's arm. “Leave it off. Sometimes darkness can be comforting.”

Jensen leans back on the pillows where his torso stretches. He watches as the tall frame unbends from the floor to take a seat on the mattress. “Wha—? Uh, sorry...woke myself up from a dead sleep.” Jensen looks around the room for the digital read-out. “Wha' time's it?”

“I dunno.” Time doesn't seem to matter to Jared—not at the moment. “I can't sleep.” He'd gone to bed beside Milo, but since he'd rolled round so much, he had taken a pillow, found a small throw and just climbed into the chaise lounge in the room, under the window. Then he made it a sure thing that he couldn't sleep comfortably, even when he had been able to nap there a few times in the past few weeks.

“mmm...” Jensen mutters as he wipes over his face a few times. “... _obviously_.”

Jared can hear the tone of voice like Jensen couldn't be bothered by his intrusion. Or that he could be upset that Jared's been here for a long time, staring at him like a creepy stalker. “I haven't been sitting here long.”

“no-no...I'm not—” Jensen reaches out to pat the space in front of Jared. “Wha's goin' on?”

“I wasn't fair to you... _earlier_.”

Jensen finds it peculiar that Jared won't lift his head, keeping it bowed like he's done something wrong. “You weren't?”

“You revealed something personal an' I just took it, not giving you something of mine back.” Jared uses his hands to show one hand grabbing from Jensen to then keep it tight to his body and not give it back.

“Tha's not important.” Jensen shakes his head, swiping his hand in the air as he crosses his arms.

“I'm sorry.” Jared fidgets on the bed, backing up a few inches on the mattress. He's feeling that strange predatory heat wafting between them again, but he's not sure if it's him or Jensen. “I tried to be quiet.” He lifts his head but tilts to raise a questioning eyebrow. “Are you sure I didn't wake you?”

Jensen snorts out a light laugh. “I was having too good of a dream, and, of course, my mind doesn't want me to finish it...so, no, I _really_ did wake myself.”

“oh, okay...good.” Jared laughs along with Jensen's smile, feeling a bit better about being here. “Well, not good 'bout losing the dream but good that I...” He stops and closes his eyes to take a hard swallow, trying to find courage. “ _jesus_...I don't know why I'm so nervous.”

“ _heyheyhey_...” Jensen pushes up slightly, reaching out to place whatever he can reach on Jared's bent leg. “...if i's too much to say, let it go. I wasn't looking for a trade-off.” He returns to laying down, arms now circled about his frame. “You don't have to tell me anything.”

“eh, but I think I do. It's important to why I think you feel I'm sending ' _mixed signals_ '...” Jared isn't sure he's using the right terms; he's never been in this predicament, where an Alpha is interested in him, and that he wants to pursue him. “—or ' _crossed signals'_ — ** _whatever_**.”

“You mean...” Jensen detects that Jared's shy in this “relationship” thing, needing a little encouragement along the way. “...I may have been interpreting the things you do... _wrong_?”

“Mainly...I say one thing, but my body betrays what I've said and conveys something different.” Jared clears his throat, then turns his head and stares at some random spot on the tangled sheets. He extends his right arm and leans on it for balance. “I haven't been... _truthful_ to you.” He picks at invisible lint on the blankets and sheets. “Not like you deserve.”

“Sounds— _ominous_.”Jensen pulls his body upright to sit against the pillows and headboard. He's watching Jared nervously pull at his bedding. “Is _this_ why you couldn't sleep?”

“Mostly.” Jared dips his head even further, dark bangs hanging low over his eyes. “The other part of me doesn't want to leave you alone— _lonely_.” His heart actually hurt to leave Jensen and it's one of the other reasons for tossing-and-turning. Like he can sense someone who needs him, someone who needs him to be near. “I know it's weird an' maybe you don't believe half of the shit I spew, but...”

Jensen uses both hands to shuffle over, to the far left, making room in the space next to him. “ _...c'mon...come here...closer..._ ” He recognizes the hesitation. Jensen pulls back the covers to open the empty space next to him. “ _...get over here...please..._ ” He pats the surface just vacated.

Jared can feel moisture forming behind his eyes, like he wants to cry from so much emotional turmoil—and it's only going on in his mind. “Is it okay for me to be here—I mean, in your bed? Your door wasn't locked or shut.” Now the door is shut, but not locked.

“God...” Jensen sits forward, bending knees to hug them to his chest. “I love that you're so fuckin' formal and polite.” He might understand that other Alphas would grow impatient and probably snarl or growl at the Omega. “You make me weep for ancient pack customs—I was still young enough to appreciate the era of my gran'father and his father before him.”

Jared likes this—an attempt to simply have a normal conversation about...stuff...and nonsense. “In our training, we're taught respect and honor, to live by a certain code where we value our selves above true Omega ways inside the pack life.” He leans heavily on his arm, looking directly at Jensen. “If we don't find worth in our own bodies...how are we going to find our mates...our half—the other half that makes us whole?”

“ _christ_...you're kinda deep and philosophical at the ass-crack of dawn.” Even though it's dark and Jared keeps bowing his head, Jensen swears he feels the Omega's shyness, the rush of heat to his already warm skin. “ _...please...get over here, huh_? I promise not to pounce or...touch without your consent.” It's been weird to feel...like something was missing, when the Omega left his bedroom. He had remained on the floor a little longer, just randomly thinking, and then he'd dressed to head on downstairs to find some food to eat; dinner hadn't been over for long, so the leftovers were freshly packed in the fridge. And still, Jensen had been having to stop himself from turning around to head upstairs, to knock on Milo's door and ask [ _or beg and plead_ ] to have Jared come back to his room with him. “I just want you near— _beside me_...” He's pretty sure it's why he dreamed so vividly of he and Jared—together.

The bed creaks as Jared moves at the slowest pace possible. He's seated next to Jensen, perching like he had been against the pillows and headboard. Jared can't help but grin sheepishly and settle his arms in his lap, tangle his fingers to twiddle his thumbs. His legs are extended out and periodically his feet sway to cross and then part.

Jensen has remained in the same position, watching Jared settle; he pushes his face into his right shoulder, liking and hating that the Omega is so far away. He intentionally scoots over, shortening the distance between them; only their arms brush, barely. “I know it may not seem like I believe or that I understand half of what you say, but...” Jensen twists his head around to stare at Jared's profile. “—it's what you believe and have faith in. It's what you've built your whole life around—I believe because you do an'...you're so god-damn patient and willing to teach us knuckleheads some hard truths.”

Jared pretends to jolt from Jensen softly elbowing his arm. “Do you know much about mating rituals and 'true-halves'?”

“Well...my own parents—my father Alpha and mother Beta—were a love-at-first-sight match before mating.” Jensen bends his right leg, locks fingers then slides that bond over his knee. “My mother Omega only knew right at the point of being knotted.” He shrugs each shoulder one at a time on a slow roll. “I guess what I do know, I've vicariously learned, then had some kind of belief in.” Jensen pushes his chin into his arm, glancing over at Jared.

“What _do_ you believe?” Jared wraps one arm around his middle, laying the other's biceps over the hand so it tucks near his armpit. “Is it what you'd want for yourself?”

“I've always been hard to shop for.” Jensen loves that Jared playfully shoves him without needing permission. “nah, seriously...I used to think I'd know once ** _I_** saw _them_. When that didn't pan out, it was once _we_ mated...or were on our way to knotting...” He's unsure he likes talking about his sexual past with Jared listening. “Now I'm back to being uncertain. The more I'm around different mates and with my own pack—I don't know.” He adjusts his head on the headboard, twisting to look over at Jared. “I'd like it to be something extraordinary that only **_we_** — _he and I_ —can feel when we're together.” Jensen clears his throat as Jared goes quiet. “And _you_? Did _you_ ever have an idea of your Mr. Alpha Right?”

Jared raises both eyebrows feeling extremely comfortable talking with Jensen. “Honestly, for a long time, I thought being a guide meant I had to be celibate, sacrifice my sexuality as if somehow that would bring clarity and pureness to everything I did.”

“So you chose to abstain?” Jensen intentionally let his hand slip off his knee; the knee now goes to the right and brushes Jared's outer thigh. “To not want or need anybody?”

“I thought I had a higher calling.” Jared is watching the knee, but only because he wants to touch it, to hold it curved in his palm. He doesn't know if it's wanted or allowed. “I was told we were _special_... _unique_. I'd been singled out to be a 'guide' and protect the others like me—not just Omegas.”

Jensen sees that Jared hasn't retracted from his knee on him, nor has he knocked it away. “You always felt that way?” He tucks his right foot under his other leg, increasing the pressure of his knee on the Omega's body.

“No. During my 'cub' years, when I was with Milo's pack in heat, I had my own wants and needs.” Jared's a bit weary from fighting within himself, so he unbends his left arm and settles it down on top of Jensen's knee, like he's using it as an armrest. “I wasn't allowed to watch his mating with Adrian. The pack didn't want another Omega in heat to be scented by the Alpha, or for me to scent him back.” It's the fact he's talking about his heats...and then mating...this is why he has to touch Jensen. “Adrian and Milo were intended for one another. The pack did everything within their control to give them several opportunities to meet before truly mating.” Jared rolls his head around to look at Jensen, then smiles. “Lucky for them, Adrian was smitten before Milo even knew he existed—well, that he was _one_ of his intended mates.”

Jensen scoots his body upward, then turns fully to his right. “Would you want that for yourself?” He manages to settle both his knees together, essentially trapping Jared's arm.

“A little.” Jared works his arm out, then curls the limb around Jensen's legs, watching as Jensen settles higher beside him, still leaning against the headboard and pillows. “I wasn't too happy to hear that Milo was only allowed to mate from a hand-picked bunch. It was by sheer chance that Adrian's scent and want for Milo overpowered all the others. I did like that he was could meet and check out the Alphas, not that he was handed one to mate with or else.”

“yeah, I see what you're saying.” Jensen rubs over his jawline, staring down at Jared's arm, just realizing what the Omega is wearing. “Doesn't seem fair to the Omega.” He's close enough now he can see the dark hairs on the skin of the forearm and notices the direction the flow.

“Milo knew from the first meeting which one he wanted... _which one would be his_.”

“uhm...what do you—?” Jensen shakes his head out of the trance he's placed his mind in. “I'm not following.”

“Our abilities weren't controlled at that time.” Jared has turned his body slightly toward Jensen, only so he can see him in the dark. “We were told our true halves would settle us or...if we didn't mate—like me—we'd learn how to control ourselves through training and daily lessons.”

“So...you and Milo could do what you've been doing, back then?”

“Milo was a quick learner. He used it to his advantage.” Jared stares off, over Jensen shoulder, to someplace on a distant wall. He smiles mischievously. “Once I thought he'd get himself in such trouble if he didn't tame his outrageousness, then...”

“Then— _what_?” Jensen huddles closer to Jared, like he wants their talking to be more intimate and private.

Jared rolls his head to look straight ahead. “Every Alpha he met with seemed worse than the last, then...he saw Adrian and—in only a few hours, he was this docile and loving creature.” He doesn't even stop to look at Jensen, just keeps on talking, “He didn't gush about which Alpha he had met. He was quiet...told me it was like he ' _knew_ '—like he _knew_ his own destiny lay at _this_ Alpha's feet.” With his right hand, Jared begins to soothe over his cheek. “I kept asking, prodding him—I continued to get these cryptic responses and these looks of deep affection and love. All he told me was one day I would know, because talking about it defied words.”

“ _wow_...so, have you ever fou—?” Although Jensen likes their discussion, loves the sound of Jared's voice in the dark...he really wishes he'd look at him as he speaks.

“I finally understand...” Jared flips his head around, looking directly into Jensen's face, and then his eyes. “... _now_ — ** _with you_**.”

Jensen goes silent, then sits upright off the pillows, unbending his legs and turning toward Jared. “What do you mean?” He knows he's probably looming menacingly over the Omega, but Jared doesn't look half as nervous as he did just minutes ago. Now it's Jensen who feels...frazzled.

“I think your persistence and patience truly paid off for you.” Jared smiles broadly as he drops his eyes when talking, but he'll look at Jensen when it counts. “Had we not been... _forced_ to be together in this circumstance...had you _not_ felt like you needed to help your employees, then hurt your back, your legs...had I _not_ been in the living room when you came home and you...” He's amazed that little circumstances seemed to have thrown them together, time and time again. “I shouldn't have placed my hands on you so freely, but—I _wanted_ to...” Jared lets out a short laugh, then lifts eyes to stare at Jensen. “—it was almost like I _needed_ to.” He sits up higher, leaning his side on the pillows and headboard. “When I did—this might be the part where you think I'm batshit—I opened a 'doorway' that showed me our meeting wasn't just a strange happenstance.” This is where Jared is afraid he'll lose the Alpha; there aren't a lot of pack members who completely accept what a spiritual guide does or says. “ _You_ —you're already vulnerable to Omegas...you have a knowledge and your own insights, you have a spirit in you that burns for them.” He shrugs his shoulders, not sure there's any easier way to explain the situation they find themselves in. “I just happened to be the one who guided you through, safely. Your energy combined with mine and...it's a good thing you don't give up so easily.”

Jensen is, literally, speechless. “It's like...we were...”

“— _meant to be_.” Jared begins to release a genuine smile, because, if he's hearing correctly, Jensen understands far better than he could've hoped.

“I was gonna go with ' _born for each other_ '...” Jensen smiles from one side of his mouth. “Like we weren't supposed to meet until now.”

Jared places a comforting hand on Jensen's knees still bumping against his body. “Ripples in our lives aren't so random. Think of any other time we would've met?”

“The birth of Milo's 'pup'.” Jensen supplies with ease, because he knows it could be true.

“eh, I didn't even know he was carrying.” Jared is slowly shaking his head, in slight disagreement. “It's not a given he would've called me.”

“I probably never would've seen you, not like I _see_ you now.” Jensen knows this to be true, because had it merely been Jared showing up to be with Milo, there would've been other distraction to keep them apart. Here, in this circumstance, they were thrown in one anothers' path, able to view the other quite clearly and openly—to have the kind of time needed to get to know one another, instead of the hurried rush of what could've been

“We were...thrust into each other's life...”

Jensen's spooked by Jared's words, like he's read his mind. “Like someone knew how much we _had_ to be together...or that we _needed_ one another.”

“Milo wouldn't have called me, we never would've met an'...”

“ _jesus_...never has the phrase ' _everything happens for a reason_ ' shouted so loudly in my head.”

Jared swallows hard; he's still unsettled by what Jensen said a few minutes ago. “Do you really see this more as...us being born only for the other? No one else?”

“yeah, kinda.” Jensen frowns deeply, thinking Jared feels it's a wrong assumption. “Why? Wha's wrong with—?”

“no-nothing. Nothing's wrong...it's just...” It's true, because nothing is wrong—it's turning out to be very right and Jared can't be happier. If the Alpha feels this way then it's only a matter of time before this could actually become real. “If we're both willing to accept this an' take a chance on what we could have together...I can't let any more time slip away from us.” This is the whole reason why Jared can't fall asleep. And probably why he might lose Jensen before he even had a shot with him. “I need to be as honest with you as I can't be with myself.”

“oh-kayy...do I, uh—? Do you want me—?” Jensen senses Jared starting to crack and crumble right before him, shoulders shaking as they slump and a hand comes up to cover the side of the face in shame. “ _whoawhoawhoa_... _jesus_... _no-no-no_...don't- _christ_ , man...don't do this to yourself, you'll have me joining you in a few minutes.” He gets to his knees and shuffles over to Jared and immediately the Omega is in his arms, embracing him like a lifeline and burrowing deep into his chest. “ _ohman_...I think I found my weakness...”

==&&==&&==

 **TBC...**


	11. Chapter 11

Jensen lets Jared unravel emotionally as much as he needs, since he knows the Omega has no other outlet to vent—he'll give him the space necessary. But he's not going to leave the bed. While he had held Jared, Jensen had shuffled lower, settling them both down to the mattress. Jensen's head is high on the pillows, while Jared lays slightly below, more against Jensen's chest. Jensen had been resting his cheek on top of the dark brown head, his hand rubbing over the nape, then trickling into the scalp. When Jared had quieted down to sniffles, he had moved his head, so Jensen has to lift his own, now his hand pets over the hair, fingers starting to comb through the brown strands. Jensen had no idea how soft the locks would feel against his skin; he was transfixed, then a little saddened when Jared drew backward to roll away. He didn't go too far, just onto his back.

“ _—'m sorry..._ ” Jared mumbles incoherently as he looks up at the ceiling; he places his left hand flat to Jensen's chest like he's had enough closeness and now he wants to keep the Alpha at bay.

But Jensen's not deterred, nor is he willing to accept the apology. He takes the hand on his body, under-cupping his palm with Jared's; he brings their bond to his cheek, soothing the top. “... _don' be_. If I can't be here for you, support you and comfort you...I won't be good for you, should we make something out of these moments. _god..._ ” Jensen clears his throat, then shifts his body to lay at the exact level Jared is. He bends his right arm then sets his head down to look across at Jared's profile. “I don't wanna diminish your pain or deny you a voice to be heard, but...” He drops his eyes because he's never once admitted this part of his past to anyone, not even Christian. “mmm...” Jensen shakes his head, doubtful this will advance him anywhere but put him on equal-footing to Jared—this is what he wants. He's never been good at being better than anyone, even the different roles in pack life. “I hope you'll take this the way it's meant, from my heart...” Reluctantly he releases Jared's hand, but only because he's about to lay on his own back, exactly like Jared is; he'll be inches off his own pillows and more toward the ones Jared's on. “I never wanted to be a leader of my own pack. Never wanted to be lead Alpha. I've always had this idea that I'd stay in my father Alpha's pack as his secondary, but he saw _something_ in me I don't think I'll ever accomplish.”

Jensen doesn't have to shift his head to know that Jared is perking up, and out, of his misery; he's starting to avert his gaze to glance over at Jensen's face—maybe soon he'll actually look at him for a longer period of time. “I see it more in my brother, Josh.” He tilts his head; dark blond spikes making crinkly noises on Jared's pillow, now their hair strands are merging. “Josh was firstborn male heir...and he was perfect in every way. I was the spare.” The second the words were out of his mouth, Jensen can feel the swift twisting of Jared's body; it starts with his shoulders, then the rest of his body follows until legs are bent and pulled up to skim against Jensen's outer right leg. “I looked up to Josh, admired and respected him; he was exactly how I knew an Alpha should be.” He lowers his right arm, hand sculpting around the legs pushing against him. “I had some, uh...difficulties in my 'cub' years.” It's weird that Jensen is soothing Jared as he admits his own flaws, like he's trying to quell Jared's reaction to tell him he's all right now, but he wasn't then. “I was sickly—severe allergies—and asthmatic...my parents feared I'd probably die in my sleep.” He hears the sharp intake of breath, then a crisp crackle of Jared shifting over more, his head nearly touching Jensen's shoulder as he falls forward. “Don't know how or why...” Instinctively, Jensen leans on Jared's head, the hair tickling his stubbled cheek. “...but I spent nearly most of those 'cub' years with my mother Omega an' the other Omegas in my father's pack.” He smiles at the memory because those moments meant the world to him and make him the better man—not the better Alpha—that he is today. “I swear to this day it was all of their love and support that healed me. My father feared I wasn't Alpha-born; he was ready to give up on me, but the Omegas didn't or they wouldn't.”

Jared wraps both of his arms around Jensen's right arm, pulling the limb to his chest. He's rubbing his cheeks against the rounded shoulder joint and he's relaxing to a sort of calm he's never known outside of spiritual guidance. He tentatively sticks his right leg out, sliding the limb down so he can lock it around Jensen's warm legs, then tucks between the bowed thighs.

Because of the memories of that time spent in the Omegas' care, it's instinctive of Jensen to turn toward the warmth and nurturing ways. “Again, someone saw _something_ in me I didn't dare to believe.” He sinks low enough to cause Jared to have to tilt his head slightly downward. “I was just trying to live...survive...didn't care what I turned out to be when I came of age.” Jensen closes his eyes because Jared's got that nuzzling thing going again, with his mouth parted to tenderly nip at bare skin—it's a typical comforting mechanism Omegas use and Jensen lets the action spurn his story on. “When it was clear I was always to be Alpha, suddenly I couldn't be with the Omegas.” This admission causes Jared to pull Jensen to his chest—well, his heart, so he can feel the steady beats. “I _had_ to follow my destiny...I _had_ a chosen path before, I wasn't allowed to dilly-dally elsewhere. I felt hurt to be deserted and thrown— _hehehe_ —to the wolves, forced to be who I had always been. I'm just... _not_. I've never felt like other Alphas, never felt like I should lead anyone. I'm only a follower, a doer. I can't be...a genuine Alpha, tha's not me. Granted, I've changed over the years of being a leader in my own pack, but...” He gives a self-deprecating laugh. “I think I ' _nurture_ ' and ' _nag_ ' a bit too much and I let my pack members get away with a lot.” Jensen shuffles his head around to look upward at hazel eyes shifting back-n-forth over his features.

“so, after knowing this about me, do you still think I'm worthy of being _your mate_... _your_ Alpha?”

Jensen had expected Jared to hug him tighter, but never imagined he would be swiftly thrown to his back with Jared's strong arm tight across his body, at his lower back as if to brace him on the impact, and pushing down on top of him with a leg tucked between the bowed thighs. “ _...ohmy...ungh..._ ” He exhales a quick breath then arcs his head on the pillow to elongate his neck, which Jared tucks his face into. Other Alphas would've been outraged to being manhandled by their Omegas, but it turns Jensen's crank to feel Jared's strength and muscles over and around him, holding him safe and tight. “ _...mmm...gonna take that as my 'yes'..._ ” Jensen starts moving, reacting to Jared being on top and the heat of his groin rubbing over a thigh. Immediately, he wants to hold and caress, his hands sculpting down Jared's sides to stop at the waist where the pants begin and the t-shirt ends; Jensen takes advantage by running his fingers up under the t-shirt, along bare skin.

Jared lets out a soft grunt, then resettles his body like he wants the hands to go further. “... _god_ , this isn't how I thought this would go.” He's not ashamed of his reactions, but he isn't sure he's in control of his own body. It's strange, because Jared can usually tame himself to never responding. He can't seem to do that with Jensen.

“I's okay...I'm not gonna complain.” Jensen really isn't, not when Jared rubs their faces together as he lifts his head, Jensen pushes against Jared's cheek, one hand trailing along the back to cup the nape and sift through long brown locks. He leans into an ear, nosetip skimming the lobe. “...you feel so damn good in my arms—like I knew you would...”

Jared shuts his lids, nodding his head in complete agreement. “This is not—I'm not normally this forward or— _god_...” He frowns with concern, causing a crease in his brow as he plants both of his hands, palm down, keeping his body poised above the Alpha's so they almost barely touch. “I don't do this an'...I'd never _submit_ to an Alpha just 'cuz he shows an interest.” He drops a single knee—the right—between Jensen's legs.

“I get it.” Jensen's intrigued by Jared's need to draw away, keeping their bodies a few inches apart, but he's not letting it stop him from reaching out to lay his hands on Jared. “I's me. It's what's between us—the connection...our bond.” He can't help but let out a hint of a smile, maybe even a smirk of pride.

“It's so much more than that— _you have no idea_.” Jared grins as if in pain. “I want— _this_... _with you_.” He's able to drop both knees on the bed, but they're spread apart, on either side of Jensen's frame. “If I was like any other Omega, you'd have such an easier time of this...” He eases upright, sitting on his heels as he places hands on his thighs.

“I don't want any other Omega...” Jensen pushes up on his elbows, looking up at Jared looming above him—he's going to get too used to this position, because it excites him to feel the Omega's power overwhelm him. “... _I want_ ** _you_**. I already told you—I don't need to focus on the sex an' knotting right away.”

“ _don't._ ” Jared shakes his head sadly as he softens his voice with a sad smile. “Don't do this to yourself.” He soothes the back of his right hand from the right temple, down around the jaw and cheek to under the chin. His fingers move upward to caress at the ridge at the bottom lip. “Don't tie yourself to me without even knowing the truth.”

“Look...” Jensen nudges and lightly kisses the hand touching him, but then he sits straighter, arms resting on Jared's thighs to curl about his body. “...I've been right here and very aware that you burn hot and cold sexually.” He feels Jared sag within his arms. “It's not going to devastate me.” With a deep sigh, Jared drops to sit on the bed between Jensen's spreading thighs. Jensen pulls on Jared to settle his legs on either side of his body. “Why do you think I'm not pressuring either of us to follow the usual mating path?”

“...oh, _love_...” Jared cups both of Jensen's cheeks in his hands, his thumbs are playing around the bottom portion of the face he's becoming familiar with. “...it goes so much deeper than just ' _burning hot and cold sexually_ '...it has to do with the actual sex act itself.”

“oh-kayyy...what do you mean?” Jensen leans into the hands, nuzzling each warm palm.

Jared starts to draw backward, but Jensen keeps clutching at his arms, switching to latch onto the whole body so he doesn't completely crawl away. Jared drops his hands, bowing his head as he starts to touch the bare upper chest. “Sometimes it's difficult for me to become aroused—like an Omega should.” He calmly pets at the skin, very aware of how erratic Jensen's heartbeat is, how heavily he's breathing. Jared lowers his fingers to cup the sides of the ribcage. He's going to mention some rather personal and openly sexual instances. “If I do, it never reaches...I don't get fully hard—erect.” It's very clear that the Alpha is the one becoming hard. “I can feel stimulated to a certain degree, but then I'm just, uh...soft.” Jensen is dipping his head, looking as if he's watching Jared's hands on his body, but he's actually closing his eyes to let the voice wash over him. “I can, uhm...there's pre-ejaculate, but I don't...there's no final orgasm.” He's almost ashamed or bashful about his admission, but still holds his head high. “I haven't self-lubricated like I'm supposed to either.” Jared gives a stilted laugh at himself. “It's a little embarrassing.”

“ _Ever_?” Jensen mumbles the question between the space of their bodies. He's attempting to control the aroused state of his own body, but he's not doing a quick enough job of it.

“No, not... _never_.” Jared brings his hands back to Jensen's front, around the abdominal area; the backs of his hands brushing over the bare skin in a particular rhythm. “I was healthy sexually at puberty. I became hard with arousal, I self-lubricated and I was able to go through the throes of my heats, before and after I was able to hone my guiding abilities. I was still fine when Milo left and, uh...through my late teens into twenties.”

Jensen finally lifts his head, green eyes connecting with hazel as he touches Jared's cheek.“You're okay... _otherwise_?”

“uh, yeah.” Jared nods his head, letting out a reassuring smile. He goes back to caressing Jensen's face, fascinated by the ways it changes with every word uttered or emotion felt. He smooths out the wrinkles marring the forehead, not liking the Alpha worrying needlessly about him, especially to something he wasn't at fault for.

“Have you been to a doctor or some Omega specialist?” Jensen starts to move his arms, hands now caressing the outer thighs resting on his own.

“No. But with my company, I get a physical every year.” Jared drops his hands, spreading them out along the broad shoulders to loosely lock arms around the neck, draping fingers at the nape. He starts playing with the shorn hair at the low hairline. “I've mentioned this to the physicians and it's pretty much told to me that I must be, uh...blocking _something_ mentally, because I'm healthy.” Jared shrugs nonchalantly, like it happens a dozen or so times and he simply ignores them. “So there's the offer of a consult to a therapist, so I can talk or open myself like an onion.”

“I guess it kind helps with what you do with packs and their members...so you don't always get horny.” Jensen is happy when it makes Jared chuckle softly.

“I do— _somewhat_ , but it's not an out-of-control feeling.”

“And your heats?” Jensen should've known Jared would be this open and honest with him; he's half scared and half enticed by their conversation. He'll keep asking the right questions until Jared makes it clear he can't answer them anymore.

“I do have them, but I've mastered powering through.” Jared watches as Jensen scoots backward, wanting to relax against the pillows and headboard. He allows him to move away, then takes back one leg so he can bend the shape to tuck a foot under his other leg. “Years of practice, but they're manageable...and rather tame.”

Jensen didn't want to drift apart, but it's too damn much to be near Jared, let him touch and caress him—play with his hair, curling and twisting strands around his finger tips—and not feel like his erection keeps on growing. Jared doesn't need that kind of distraction, not when Jensen had already stated sex wasn't going to be important and Jared's talking about his own sexual difficulties. “When did you start thinking of spiritual guiding as your lifework?” He bends the opposite leg so now they kind of notched together by lower limbs on the mattress, neither in the other's way unless they want to be.

“I was 20, around my 21st birthday.”

“You already said that it's not a celibate life so...” Jensen can't believe that an Omega that looks like Jared hasn't been snatched up sooner. But then he's happy that he wasn't or else...they'd really have some issues to deal with. “...no Alphas are ever attracted or sniffed you out? At all?”

Jared shakes his head. “I don't have Alphas scenting after me because, well...I don't give off the normal Omega scent.” He bows his head a little as he talks, “They do try, but mainly because of looks or physical attraction...and with them, I'm kind of over their ' _ways_ '.” Jared raises his eyebrows as he tilts his head to look at Jensen with a genuine show of a smile. “Truthfully, being a guide has fulfilled me in ways that I had been feeling empty. But, in the last few years...”

Jensen understands in ways Jared can't imagine; it's hitting a little too close to home. “It's not doing the job of keeping you satiated.”

“Not for long.” Jared notices how Jensen averts his eyes, looked thoughtful, then smirked. Seems he and the Alpha shared a few more things in common. “And...the emptiness keeps growing bigger...”

“Do you recall when your last heat was?”

“uh, nah...” Jared actually looks up and around as if he's trying to calculate or figure something out from his memories. “...i's been _that_ long.”

“Have you been, uhm...” Jensen can already feel the blush coming over his body. He uses his hand as he speaks, rolling it over, around his own groin area. “...do you spend time with yourself—you know...?”

“Do I _masturbate_?” Jared lightly chuckles as he says the question Jensen can't.

“uh...” Jensen dips his head, scratching at his hairline. “...yeah.”

“I try but it's not an instant release.” Jared decides he's going to return back to laying down next to Jensen, give him a reprieve. “I have to schedule ' _alone time_ ', ** _if_** I think it's imperative.” He relaxes against the headboard, then tucks pillows at his back to get comfortable. He bends his right knee to lay his arm on top of.

“Wha—?” Jensen twists his head in stunned shock, jaw gaping open. “You mean, sometimes you just...don't do _anything_? You go without?”

“I know-I know...” Jared snickers as he leans his head on the wood paneling behind him. “I'm weird and wired differently than you're used to.” He won't look at the Alpha since he's staring him down intently. “It's tough to understand how I could just forget to give my own body the pleasure it deserves, but when my life and work get so busy—and I truly do get a different type of ecstasy out of what I do—it makes everything else pale and become insignificant.”

Jensen's beginning to formulate Jared's reason for telling him this as they get to know one another. “And you're worried that you'll _never_ get better...enough to have sex with me.” He pushes off his spot and sits upright turned toward Jared. He's a bit hurt that Jared would lump him in with other uncaring, selfish Alphas, but he can't fault him because they don't know each other as fully as mates should. “That I'll be waiting forever and...I'll grow frustrated and leave you—abandon you.”

“It's not unheard of.” Jared unbends his knee, pulling his pant leg off his skin to cross his ankles. “I know plenty of Omegas who _never_ mate or knot. Although they do die a lot earlier than most, they still manage to find happiness of some type.”

“Is that what scares you— _dying alone_?” Jensen can see that it is _one_ of the things that concerns the Omega.

“In a very abstract way, I _am_ alone...I've been alone for a while.” Jared detects a twinge in Jensen's features, how this doesn't sit well with him. “I don't...blend well or mesh perfectly with my fellow guides. We do work together sometimes, but I don't have relationships with them like many do. And...I'm okay with death. I'm just...” He stops himself from going on and just comes out with the main reason for his need to tell Jensen his truth. “I'm worried that I've possibly taken a wrong step in my path. I feel—I feel like I'm living someone else's life, while mine either waits for me to wake up and grow some balls...” Jared snickers along with Jensen's softer noise under-breath. “—or it's going on without me, hoping I'll catch up one day.”

“ _jesus_...” Jensen shakes his head, flabbergasted by what Jared's been doing for these last few years. He had thought the not-having-a-pack was the worst. “How can you do that to yourself without anyone knowing? Do the guides...do you have _anyone_ to turn to, for advice or just to talk this shit out with?” Jensen bends his knees to tuck his legs to his chest.

“We can converse with our mentors—our teachers...or the Elders—spiritual guides who've been around for years. But a lot of us don't want to be burdens.” Jared shuffles down to bend his right arm and rest amongst the pillows. “Some do talk amongst one another and I suppose they give each other some form of cheap therapy.”

“Does Milo know _any_ of this?” Jensen lifts one eyebrow in inquiry.

“He knows _enough_.” Jared shakes his head as he picks at the stark white pillowcase. “I can't dump _every_ problem I have on him.”

“So I'm...” Jensen pretends to stunned and outraged. “...you chose _me_ to spill this to?”

“It's only fair.” Jared smirks over at Jensen, folding his arms to set them on the pillow and lay his head down as he laughs lightly. He playfully shoves at Jensen with his foot. “I gotta carry the image of you wanting to fuck your Omega—who is, uh... _me_.” Jared shuts his lids as if he's satisfied with what he's done—fair was fair. “Now you get to think about me—going semi-hard then going quickly flaccid...not able to orgasm.” He quickly opens his eyes, furrowing his brow as he thinks about the way the Alpha's mind might think. “Or, maybe, you could imagine trying to get me aroused _intentionally_...you know, build up these fuck-or-die-trying scenarios where you work your sex magic on me and...” It's Jared's turn to be taken by surprise as Jensen manages to deftly move across the bed in order to turn him onto his back and keep him pinned to the mattress. He has both arms held tight to a pillow beside the Omega's head. “... _what_?” Jared playfully turns his head away, cheek flat to the pillowcase, as if to dodge every advance Jensen wants to make with his face and lips. He smiles and drops his eyes when he feels a forehead bump his temple.

“You amaze me.” Jensen releases the wrists, but Jared keeps his arms raised and as Jensen backs away a few inches, Jared twists his head to look up at him. “Everything with you is so subverted and quiet...” His hands now sculpt and slide down Jared's frame to end up at his waist. “...then you come at me with this _weirdness_ out of left field where I'm struck speechless with how perverted your mind is behind all that calm and peace.” Jensen narrows his eyes on Jared. “I look at you...like right now, even knowing what I now know, and I don't feel a need to grab you and throw you facedown, rip your clothes off and stick my knot in you...” He's loving this give-and-take they do of being intimately playful, just enough to spark an interest in the other's body.

“well, thanks...” Jared pats Jensen's flushed cheek. “...because that would make this moment rather awkward and be kind of rude...”

“ _hehehe_...” Jensen attempts to bite at Jared's hand. “I've never really been _that way_ with mating. I might get a bit rough in bed, while sex is happening, but not when seeking sexual partners...or mates.”

“Wouldn't you want to feel power, knowing you could command your Omega to your will?” Jared is curious to understand why Jensen wouldn't allow his true Alpha character to take over, or maybe it really can be attributed with those years he stayed with his old pack's Omegas. “That _wouldn't_ turn you on?”

Jensen shrugs his shoulders, one at a time, then lolls his head around. To himself, he thinks it'll be a turn-on once he's found his mate, which he has in Jared; to Jared, he'll state a few more articulate words, “It'd be nice, for once, to not have to work so damn hard at mating with that perfect one, but...I've never felt much emotion toward a quick fuck.” His keen green eyes catch Jared biting down on his lips. “I guess I like the slow pace of getting to know someone, then working off that attraction.”

“... _you're_ ** _still_** _attracted to me_?” Jared is amazed by this fact.

“ _shit! Why not!?”_ Jensen can feel a bit of an arousal brewing beneath him, but he won't try to bring notice to it. “Despite your temperate receptions at times and your iffy responses, I'm kind of glad.” He has to nod his head as Jared glances at him with some doubt. “I like that I'm being made to put a serious effort to something I want. It's good for me to _not_ have everything handed to me...simply because I'm Alpha and my pack's leader.”

Jared reaches up, for real this time, and caress Jensen's cheek; he's feeling the tell-tale signs of Jensen's semi-hardness which is creating a swell of his own stiffening. “You've earned the right to know something personal about me, and it's only fair. Earlier, you were blatantly honest with me, telling me something private that can't have been easy to say, that no one else knows.” He loves touching the tip of his thumb to the bottom bow of Jensen's lip. Jared loves staring at the mouth...mind drifting to what can be done to, and with, a mouth like that. “Plus...I know you had said sex and knotting wasn't going to be a concern, but it has to become important for a whole different reason.” He mutters this last portion as he touches Jensen's lower cheeks and jawline with just his fingertips, like he's tracing to memory. “Especially if it happens to turn out I've completely broken myself beyond repair.”

Jensen can't help but smirk as he averts his gaze.

“What?” Jared snickers as he feels Jensen starts to pick up his body and remove himself. “That's a very curious reaction. Should I ask what it means?”

“Ask me later. For now...” Jensen glances at the clock over a shoulder, turning back to smile wide at Jared. “Are you hungry?—'cuz I am.” He wrinkles his brow in curiosity. “Are you still _not_ tired? If so, stay here...” Jensen begins to scramble over to his bedside on hands and knees. “I'll run downstairs an' grab us some food and drinks.”

“No, I'm not tired...” Jared pushes upright, pleased to have a bit of space between he and Jensen to gather his wits and sense. “An' you actually read my mind. I'm a little hungry too—well, I could eat, if there's a plate of food in front of me.” He rolls off the bed to land on both feet at bedside. He stands still, waiting for Jensen to make the next move.

Jensen crawls off the mattress to bend low and pick up his discarded Henley, sleeves cut to the elbows. He's about to dig for his slippers, but Jared has always gone around in bare feet, so Jensen decides to give it a shot, live a bit more reckless and carefree. As he moves, Jared moves, until he swishes his hand for Jared to take the lead. He walks out of his bedroom, trailing behind Jared. Jensen lets the Omega move down a few steps before he jumps onto his back, wanting to be carried down. Jared's “ ** _umph!_** ” is muffled but then he rights Jensen's body to hook under the knees and around the strong calves locking around his waist. Jensen loves hearing Jared lightly chuckle as he swiftly takes the rest of the stairs with the added extra weight. Jared reaches the landing, bounces to the floor and when he pops upright, he snatches both arms around Jensen's legs as if he were a survival knapsack.

Jensen never anticipated Jared being able to carry him all the way down, then to keep holding him without breaking a sweat. “You can put me down if I'm too heavy.” Even though his arms are still embraced around Jared's neck, resting on broad shoulders, he's prepared to loosen them.

“You're not. Heavy.” Jared tilts his head toward Jensen's face near his ear. “What are you thinking?” He takes a sweet, long journey down the short corridor to the kitchen, jostling Jensen from side-to-side like he'll tumble him to the ground—which he won't. “We could do breakfast...like omelets or, uh...” Jared only went with an omelet because it could be a meal they could share and they wouldn't have to cook a bunch of wasted food; he didn't know what kind of eggs Jensen liked so he took his opinion back. “What do you like—scrambled or sunny-side up...?”

“mmm...” With one arm still secure around the thick neck, Jensen smooths the palm of the dangling hand over Jared's upper breastbone. “...lemme cook for you. I don't normally get a chance since Soph and Steve are much better at this than I am.” He doesn't want to admit he's allowed his Betas to take-over the cooking, because it's easier than delegating alternating days of the week. Once they were past the threshold, Jensen jumps down, keeping his hands moving along Jared's back to slap at the perfect ass. He makes sure to grab the cheeks before he shamelessly dashes off to find pans. “If we get the house to ourselves one night, I'd love to make you my lasagna.” Jensen spins around quickly, unsure what foods Jared likes. “Do you like Italian?”

“Hey, _I love food_. _Period_. And I'd rather have lasagna than spaghetti.”

And because Jared preferred _his_ lasagna over stupid, always-by-default spaghetti for “Italian” food, he was going to cook Jared his omelet. It was something they could share together. “Omelet, it is.”

“Let's share one enormous one.”

“Make it so big that we can split it.”

They're ridiculous, because they sound like kids excited over a new toy or a fascinating game. Apparently, without realizing it, they find out they're both “foodies”—yet another thing they share in common.

“Want bacon and toast?”

“Check the freezer...” Jensen is pointing as he takes out fresh peppers and an onion. “...we may have sausage links or patties.”

“ _oh, dude!_ But... _yum_ —bacon...” Jared rolls his eyes at the idea of a nice, heaping plate of golden-crisp bacon. “...wanna do a little of _both_?” He wiggles his eyebrows as he peeks into the freezer drawer.

“ _jesus, man_...” Jensen likes it—he's liking it more and more as he gets to know this Omega. “—you're like a bottomless pit.”

“... _more like a garbage disposal_.” Jared goes “shopping” right at the fridge, as he piles what they'll need in the spread of his huge arms.

“ _hehehe_...” Jensen has to get on tip-toes to reach for a mixing bowl, but once Jared has his arms free, there's this giant of a shadow standing behind him, barely reaching out to pull down what Jensen needs. “...you'd be good at frat parties and food competitions.”

“Cast iron stomach, baby!” Jared lifts his t-shirt to slap then rub his belly.

Jensen turns on a burner, beginning to place pans and a bowl down. “Do you ever fantasize about the kind of mated life you'd want?” What better way to eat up this time together, and it'll help them get a lot of this personal information out-of-the-way.

“ _With my Alpha_?”

“ _yes...with_ ** _me_**.” Jensen winks at Jared.

“Smooth move...” Jared chuckles as he thinks. “I don't know.” He starts to open the boxes for the links and the bacon, taking out several of each to share between them. He throws them in the sprayed pan that has been simmering, making a loud hissing and crackling noise. “When I learned I was Omega—well, no wait, I need to go back to my mother Omega.” Jared scrunches up his face as he talks, not sure Jensen would like knowing some truths about him. “I, uh...had this weird fascination with pregnancies, births and birthing. I watched each of my siblings after me be born. Very clinical and, though crowded at the clinic...kind of cold and solitary.” He goes to pull out a fork from the silverware drawer he can use to turn the strips of bacon, then roll the sausage links. “Then I got to Milo's old pack and... _christ_ , what a difference. So moving and...life-affirming.” Jared completely forgets the toast, so he heads over to the bread-box and takes out a few slices—he knows for himself he won't want more than two since the omelet will be filling. He happens to look up when Jensen is turned toward him and sees the two fingers held up for him to understand; Jared nods the acceptance because that's pretty much what he took out. “When I didn't know I was Omega, I envied _that—_ the sacrifice...the unselfishness of sustaining and giving life, creating it from the moment of fertilization.” As he stands near to Jensen at the stove, he dips his head with a small smile on his lips. “I, uh...lost my first mother Omega and I—I had some tough years of learning the truth about my birth.”

“yeah...” Jensen tries not to stare for too long, or give in to the desire to wander over and hold Jared, so he looks down at his omelet creation. “...you seemed to speak from a raw place about New-Freedomer Omegas.”

“For years, I believed she was my biological mother. I got along with my parents, but my mother Omega was _different_.”

It sounds like an all too familiar story for Jensen. “Sounds like _my_ mother Omega.”

“yes, like _yours._..my mother Omega and I were inseparable.” Jared still can't believe the story Jensen told him about his own past—it's no wonder they connect on such similar levels. “I learned all the ways to behave, take care of the house, the family...care for my siblings.” He turns down his burner, not wanting to singe the meats; he'll cook everything at a lower heat. “She had seven 'pups' with my father Alpha...me, clueless that we weren't hers. She was, literally, a walking womb.”

“ _damn_...” Jensen shakes his head at the oddity of the other pack mentality. He doesn't want to say it's wrong, but it doesn't feel very right—not when he sees what it did to Jared. “It must've killed you to find out.”

“It did. I hated her for a while.” Jared crosses his arms, then pushes away to lean on the breakfast island behind him. “She had left me. She left our pack to return to her old pack life.” He clears his throat, still ashamed by his quick assumptions. He folds his arms at his back then rests on his backside on the lower cabinetry. “It wasn't long before my eyes were opened wide.” Jared wipes at his face, bending low to use his shoulder joint; he can't tell if he's feeling overheated because of being near the stove or being near the Alpha. “Then I turned 13, further devastated by learning I was Omega. I never thought I was suited for Alpha and I didn't _not_ want to be an Omega...I just felt more like a Beta.”

Jensen can only imagine what this had been like for the Omega. “You hit your first heat alone?”

“yup.” Jared nods his head on a solid bounce, his head averted to stare ahead. “The only one of my siblings to be Omega; my parents didn't know what to do and the second mother Omega they brought in didn't mesh well with me.” He swipes at his brow, combing fingers through his long bangs. “I don't know why—like she thought I was taking her status away. It was difficult to stop caring for my old pack—my siblings, my parents.” Jared made a not-so-nice frowny face as he talked more about his “step-mother Omega”. “Then she tattled on me, revealed I had been hiding my heat, trying to lie to them... _I wasn't_.” He needs to make this fact _very_ clear to Jensen. “Not really. I was scared and confused.”

“... _what a bitch_.” Jensen could care less what kind of excuse Jared's second mother Omega had for her treatment of Jared...it didn't sound like the woman was very mature. Or maybe she had no experience with children of her own, not really liking taking over a litter of growing 'cubs' that would never be hers.

“mmm-hmm...” Jared releases a tiny smirk. He likes that Jensen is behind him one-hundred percent, without even knowing much. It's just nice to have someone in his corner that doesn't know him too well. “I should've been honest from the start because I had prevented my parents from working with the New-Freedomer family services, you know, to get me registered and on file. But they did have every opportunity afterward to make up for my mistake.” He's making up a basket, with several layers of paper towels to catch the grease seepage as he dumps out his cooling pan of bacon and links. “Then I'd be arranged to meet with families, and, from there, find my mated Alpha and Beta.”

“wait...” Jensen sticks out a hand, touching Jared's forearm across the way with the barest of caresses. “They mate you right at your first heat?” He starts to turn down his own burner, having flipped the omelet in half and he's now cooking the flip-side.

“ _no-no_...” Jared carries the plate of meats over to two stools at the breakfast bar. As he waits for the toast to pop out, he'll set up their place-settings on the two placemats. “—it's more, like, a—” He reaches up in the cabinets to pull down two dishes, then moves over to another to snag out two short glasses for juice. Coffee is always set-up to percolate at an early time, so the carafe is already brewed and full. “—they find a family the Omega is compatible with.” Jared puts the plates in their spots, then meanders over to the silverware drawer again. He'll use the same fork, but he'll get one for Jensen and then spoons and butterknives. “The Omega lives with them 'til breeding age...16-17 and then start carrying. All the while, the Omega goes to certain doctors at the clinic—an obstetrician and a fertility specialist.”

Jensen turns off the burner, then ventures over to pick out a regular ceramic coffee mug—not his car travel one he normally makes in the mornings for work. “They told you _this_?”

“Nope.” Jared shakes his head to accentuate his word, then looks around to make sure they've got everything. He'll bring out the juice now, so that it will still be chilled as they eat. Jensen is walking over the omelet and is already splitting it in half between their plates. “I learned everything on my own.”

“So what did your parents end up doing?” Jensen walks over to set the pan and wooden spatula in the sink, running hot water over the insides.

Jared isn't thinking about much else but getting down to eating, so he's up on a stool. He takes the place-setting that doesn't have the mug of coffee. “Not proud of it—maybe it wasn't legal for them, but as long as I kept my status a secret—hidden...they had allowed me to stay with Milo's old pack.”

“So, from 13-17...” As Jensen is about to cross to the stove, the toast pops...and as Jared moves to slide down again—knowing he forgot something pretty important—Jensen shoos him back and goes to finish what Jared had started. “...you stayed with Milo's family?”

“uh, no...” Jared takes the plate of toast from jensen. He's about to slide down off the stool, to go to the fridge and get butter and jellies, but Jensen is already there...like he thought of it first, or read Jared's mind.

“Jay, wha—?” Jensen swallows hard because he knows _some_ of this information; he slowly pulls down the butter and the small jelly jars in the door, then bumps the open paneling to shut with his hip. “I'm afraid to ask what _did_ end up happening.”

“Can we, uhm...change the subject?” Jared dips his head in shame. “To _anything_ else?”

“yeah-yes...sure.” As Jensen puts down the items in his arms, one by one, making certain he climbs onto his stool by way of squeezing between he and Jared's stools, making sure to brush and poke at the Omega, using the meaty part of Jared's flattened thigh to balance his ass on the cushion—when he knew it was easier to go around the other side. “You never told me the kind of family you'd want with me.”

“You mean... _my Alpha_...” Jared speaks with his tongue in his cheek, looking at Jensen under lowered lashes.

“Same thing.” Jensen shrugs his shoulders, then spins himself around like it's not a huge issue.

Jared chuckles deeply, shaking his head as he glances sideways at Jensen. “Did you have a huge family?”

“Two siblings: one older brother, one younger sister...” Jensen breaks a sausage link in his hands, then pops one half in his mouth. “...an' me in the middle.”

“Like I said...seven kids: older brother and sister, then me...twin younger brothers, and two baby sisters...”

“ ** _Twins?!_** ” Jensen nearly chokes and has to sip on his coffee to wash down the chewed particles.

“ _yes._ ” Jared gives the Alpha a sympathy pat on his back. He knew it might shock Jensen to know.

“ _whoa_...” Jensen is nearly glowing with the realization of what could be, when Jared carries...eventually. “I never even considered the possibility.” He can't help but smile to himself at the thought.

“I don't want a large litter, because I know how isolating it can be.” Jared lowers his voice to a thoughtful level, showing he's being serious. He wipes his hand on the cloth napkin he had spread over his lap before eating. “But, I'll take whatever comes my way. Even if I'm infertile.” Jared tries not to roll his eyes too far back into his head once he takes the first bite of Jensen's omelet—it's beyond divine, but then he knew the Alpha wouldn't skimp on any food he made from his own hands. “There are a ton of 'pups' and 'cubs' out there without parents, who need good homes.”

“I can tell how you'll be already...” Jensen wants to say more on this fact, because he's been watching Jared closely to be sure of how he'd be once he had his own 'pups'. “...watching you with Milo.”

Jared swipes at the air as if it's truly no big deal. “It's easy to be happy and glow when it's not _you_ carrying the 'pup'.”

“It'll happen for you.” Jensen doesn't want to be swayed from the fact, so he averts his gaze from Jared. “You'll get the family you want.”

“Why? How do you _know_?” Jared isn't raising his voice, but he's looking at Jensen, almost begging him not to joke and to be serious. “Are _you_ gonna make sure I do?”

“Shouldn't I? Shouldn't an Alpha do _everything_ possible to please his mate, especially his Omega?” Jensen reaches over to touch Jared, fingers sliding up the arm nearby. “You hold a key to _my_ future. You're _invaluable_ to me... _precious_ , even.”

“You sincerely believe _that_ , even after what I've told you?” What amazes him most is that Jensen has convinced himself, even before Jared told him the truth, that Jared would soon carry his own 'pups'.

“You _really_ wanna know what ** _I_** think?”

“Yes, I do.” Jared nods his head, looking directly at Jensen.

Jensen wipes his hands, spins the stool around to face Jared, then makes sure Jared is facing him. “I think you're right, but only slightly. Maybe your control of your body and mind has taken it too far. Can't backtrack or erase what's done, can only move forward.” He's leaning forward, no longer holding onto the stool seat but Jared's knees, heading up to the thickness of his thighs. “We met...we clashed a bit...then we merged on friendlier terms and it's nothing but mixed signals. It's weeks later, you've been in the house, working on my pack and...you feel like there's _more_ with me you want to pick at...you touch me and, like you said, we're forever changed.” The green eyes keep dipping to catch hazel as Jared dives around to avoid the intensity of Jensen's gaze. “I can't let you go or deny you anything and you...you've become near-to-Alpha-like, you're in control and...you're starting to think about mating and 'pups' with me.” He furrows his brow as he narrows his eyes on Jared. “Do you _see_ where I'm heading?”

“I think I do.” Jared bows chin to chest, sighing heavily. “I've started _something_ my body wants to finish. I've just got to get my mind to synchronize with the rest of me.”

“It could be just in your head, like they say.” Jensen is rubbing and soothing over the legs, then gives a nice, strong pat to one as he sends Jared spinning back around to face forward, then tries to do so himself. “We just have to be patient enough to weed through things you've built up over the years.”

Jared smiles from one side of his mouth. “Maybe you _are_ the Alpha for me after all.”

“uh, yeah...” There's no mistaking the resounding “ ** _duh_** ” hidden in Jensen's words, even when his mouth is disgustingly stuffed with good food. “...tha's what I keep tellin' you.”

==&&==&&==

 **TBC...**


	12. Chapter 12

They were finishing eating in preferred silence at the breakfast bar. The two of them had huddled together in their own private world. Actually, it was more that Jared sat completely normal on the stool and it was Jensen that had looped his arm around the back of Jared's chair, then had tangled his bare feet in the bottom rungs of the stool. Jared had never been this close to another person while still eating from different plates. After a while, it had gotten a bit crowded with dishes, so they consolidated.

It has neared a time when folks are about to rise, but there was only a blue hue outdoors.

“Come on...” Jensen jumps down, carrying dishes with him to place in the sink. “—le's go to my office. I wanna show you something.” He frowns as he keeps taking dishes from Jared's hands. “No...they'll be here when you get back or maybe you'll be gone long enough someone else with take care of them.” Jensen spins Jared around, shoving him in front.

Jared still feels like he's always in trouble when Jensen wants to do _anything_ in his office, even if it's just to talk. “You promise I'm not in trouble?” He keeps looking behind him, sure that there will be one second of relapse in trust and Jensen will be in some weird “attack mode”. Though the Alpha is pretty vanilla when it comes to being spontaneous, Jared has some idea once he's comfortable and content within a relationship, there won't be much to stop Jensen from being outwardly intimate—not just in the bedroom. “You don't have a wooden paddle hidden to spank me?”

“ _jesus_...why would I—? why are you even—?” Jensen realizes his mistake and who he's with. “ _god_...still not used to how dirty your mouth can be, the way you group words and sentences together.” He scrubs fingers over his scalp as he tries to hide his blushing, not aware how he's spiked his short hair haphazardly on his head—like a little boy with terrible bed-head. “An'...if I was gonna spank you, I'd do like they did at my age and send you outside to find me a proper switch from a tree.” He mumbled this last portion, as if attempting to hide his freakier side so it only can be heard by Jared.

“ ** _ouch!”_** Jared faked needing to cover his backside as Jensen shuts the door on their privacy. “You're _brutal_.” He doesn't know why he hadn't taken the chair flanking Jensen's desk, but went toward the comfortable-looking leather sofa.

Jensen smirks with a ridiculous grin behind the reaction, simply because he sees how contentedly Jared went to sit on the sofa—with leg tucked in as he sits on the limb and settles himself in the far left corner of the cushions. “If it's a spanking while we're having sexy times...” This makes it easier for Jensen to take the hump in the middle as he sits on his own leg, so he can face Jared, while his right arm flounces over the back of the cushions. “...well, my hand is just as good as anything.” Jensen watches Jared close his eyes and take a hard swallow as the fingertips of his left hand creep toward the hand of Jared's right hand. “See, man...” He merely grabs the shape to shake, then pulls away. “...you ain't the only _pretend_ Alpha in this room.”

“ _I_ ** _like_** _your Alpha_...” Jared drops his left arm from the armrest, then settles the limb over his lap so he can play with his clothing, or use it to distract himself as he bows his head, which he does now. “I like him _very_ much.” He glances over at Jensen under lowered lashes, hoping it's not as come-hither a look as it seems for ass-clock in the morning. He assumes they're both barely awake and working off fumes right about now, since neither has had much by way of sleep.

“mmm, _he_ likes _you_ an'...” It's strange how Jensen isn't bothered by playfully reacting to Jared's comments, but feels more embarrassed to say simple words like, “... _thank you_...”

“For _what_?” Jared lifts his head, tilting to the side in wonder.

Jensen bends at the elbow, then rests his cheek on the hand. “Not once have you made me feel like a freak.”

“Jen, no...” Jared shakes his head as if he's disagreeing with anything Jensen might feel makes him out to be a “freak” or a “weirdo”. “...why the hell would I do that?”

Jensen shrugs, then sighs as he drops his gaze. This has been the hardest issue to discuss with his pack, because most don't know his history or how close he was with his old pack's Omegas—why he feels they hold such a dear place in his heart. Most probably wouldn't understand, except Milo and Jared...maybe Adrian. “I think some Omegas expect the virile and rough Alpha. They've imagined their mate _one_ way...they meet me and, at first, I think they're attracted.” Jensen raises his eyes to connect with concerned hazel across the way. He loves that already Jared is on his side no matter what; he could say anything right now and would probably have Jared's support. Best thing of all is that Jared needs no further explanations on any issue pertaining to Alphas, and even other pack members. “They say things, like ' _good looking_ ' or ' _beautiful_ '...they like my body, compliment me on my eyes...my skin...”

Jared nods as he lets a hint of a smile creep out. “... _your freckles_...”

Jensen blushes as he has some sense to shy away from that word. The “freckles” have been the bane of his Alphaness before puberty set in, so he knows they can work in his favor or...be a slight turn-off. “yes...can't forget them.” He rubs at the side of his face, containing a full-on yawn as his hand continues to move and curl about his neck. “It's like they're reacting to surface, don't give a shit about substance.” Jensen absently lays his head down on his arm, looking over at Jared with a serious tilt to his head. “I could be a total jackass cretin, but they just want the knot...or _not_ , you know.” He likes when he gets a similar stilted gruff-laugh out of Jared, like he knows all-too-well what Jensen talks about. “I feel—I've felt so fake being out there for the mating seasons. Never able to be who ** _I_** really am.”

Jared starts to bend his own elbow, resting his head on his hand so he can concentrate his look at Jensen. “You're whole pack is you— _you heard me say_ ** _this_** _earlier_?”

“yeah, I did.” Jensen keeps his head laying on the cushions, removing his left arm to sink down and cross both limbs over his chest. “And you're right. My two Alphas, Chris and Adrian, identify more strongly with their Omegas. They became monogamous once mated. Chris and Steve were fairly mated, until the idea of an Omega came into the picture. They weren't too adverse to the thought...not when they met Chad.” He clears his throat with the shake of his head as his brow wrinkles. “I fear, sometimes, we've let Sophia suffer for too long.” Jensen is shuffling around so he's not sitting on his leg, but it lays bent in front of him and knocks against Jared's knee. “I mean, how can she thrive and _know_ how loved she is, if she's—I worry about her 'cuz it was tough to get her to consider looking twice at Adrian.” He hopes Jared doesn't mind, but he slides his leg against Jared's, almost trying to place it on top of the lap, so Jared can grab the calf or caress the skin that shows now as the bottom hem of the pant leg hitches up. “She's a handful, but...I know Adrian and Milo adore her to pieces.” Jensen doesn't have to wait long before Jared untucks his own leg and is now latching onto his right leg to bring to the available lap, but only to pull down the material of the clothing. Except Jared undercups the calf in his huge palm, holding the shape to his body. “I worry that her desire for this threesome is some kind of outcry to me...to us—the pack.”

“You think she feels unloved?” Jared moves back a little, with his hand, to grab for Jensen's bare foot. It's a bit grubbier and dirty than it had been on the sole, some hardness developing because of going barefoot on the hardwood. He starts to rub at the tips of the toes, then onto the ball of the foot.

Jensen tries not to roll his eyes into the back of his head or bring up his other leg, so Jared can work on his other foot when he's done. “What I think is, if she's mated with one Alpha for life, she wants it to be like what Adrian and Milo have.” He can't help it, he begins to shuffle backward so he's almost laying on the couch, then he can't not bring up his other leg. Jared is the one who dives for it. “Or Chris and Steve.” Jensen reaches above his head for one of those damn decorative pillows Sophia kept filling each room with.

“You have to stop feeling guilty.” While one hand works on the left foot, the other works on the right, simultaneously, which sends Jensen into a minor need to close his eyes. Jared drops his voice a few octaves, in case the Alpha wants to nap for a few minutes; he'll keep talking if Jensen is still awake. “She knew what she was getting into. She's a Beta. She's stronger than you think.” He stares down at the feet and legs over his lap, notices the golden hairs, some so dark they could be brown [ but most likely are dark auburns ] trailing up from the pale ankles. He takes an ankle in each hand, making sure that his thumbs work along the most used portions of the calves when walking or standing; he hears the soft groans coming out of Jensen's mouth. They're not supposed to sound sexy or provocative, but it's because they're from Jensen that it makes Jared's ears perk up and his body tingle. He watches his hands disappear beneath the pant legs on either side. “Just 'cuz she's female, don't assume you have to pamper her and treat her like she's fragile.” Jared looks up as Jensen crosses his arms over his eyes, curving the limbs around his head as if to hide his face. “You're looking too deeply at her idea.” He tilts his head with his own worry for Jensen, hating that the Alpha takes on a bit too much that he doesn't have to. “I think she has a pure heart when it comes to her Alpha and Omega. She's more concerned for them than herself.”

Jensen lifts his arms to peer underneath at Jared, smile growing over his mouth. “ _She_ ** _likes_** _you_.”

“Well... _I_ ** _like_** _her_.” Jared hands have stopped massaging, because Jensen seems about ready to turn into molten Jello, so he just keeps his caresses moving, every so often he'll scratch lightly and pet at the soft hairs growing. “You've found a perfect female Beta for your pack.”

“It's my chance to make a confession—” Jensen hates that he's unraveling the position they're in, but he has to go over to his desk—dammit! That massage felt too fucking good to stop and whatever Jared was doing with his fingers later on...yeah—but he hopes to come back to this position when the air is clear between them, like he wants it to be. “—now that you've mentioned the pack and we're discussing Sophia.”

“Oh?” Jared lifts his arms a little as Jensen pulls his legs away and takes his warmth back, only to sit upright...with that adorable bed-head, now in a severe slant and disarray, and his clothes pulled and twisted off his body. Damn... Jared wants to nibble at this one spot he can see, but he'll hold back because Jensen appears to be getting quiet and the look on his face is turning serious. “What is it?”

Jensen reluctantly gets off the sofa, walks over to his desk to pick up Sophia's compiled paperwork on Jared in a single file. “Please don't take _this_ the wrong way.” He returns to the sofa, but takes the farthest corner from Jared. He doesn't skimp on distance, he's merely being fair if Jared needs to rage or vent once he knows what has been done. “If anything, maybe I should take some blame because of what I've said and done to my pack members.” Jensen places the file folder down on the spaces that separate them and he points an index finger on top as he talks passionately. “We look out for each other, we take care of whomever's suffering or in pain as one single family. No one is left alone.” So then he slides the file folder over to Jared...and takes an inch or two back to wait for the firestorm to erupt.

“What's _this_?” Jared looks down at the closed accordion file. There's a lot more moves he needs to make to get inside; he just wants to know what he'll find once he does all this work.

“It's mostly a _copy_ of your public pack record.” Jensen moves to sit on his left leg again, tucking himself into his corner of the sofa; he brings up his right leg to bend at the knee, then place the foot down on the cushions. He's built himself into a nice ball of an Alpha. “Tells _your_ life story from a _very abstract_ view.”

“And why do you have it?” Jared simply stares down at the file. His hands shakes a little, but not from nerves—from pure fear.

“Sophia gave it to me.” Jensen is willing to take most of the blame for this, leaving none for Sophia, especially if Jared feels she had been nosy and shouldn't have butted in where it wasn't warranted.

“An' why did Sophia—?” Jared swallows hard, not sure what he'll find inside about himself.

“She overheard you talkin' with Milo.” Jensen's worried when he doesn't see Jared become incensed or angry; he looks like he's scared shitless. “She wanted to see if she could help you.”

“ _Help me_? Do _what_?” Jared lifts his eyes momentarily, while his brow crinkles with curiosity.

“I have no idea.” Jensen doesn't know what Sophia thinks she could do for Jared, but Jensen knows what he can do for Jared. “I'm done with _that_ file.” He gestures to the file with a lift to his chin as if he wants nothing more to do with its contents. “It's yours to keep or burn to cinder.”

“Wha—?” Jared wrinkles his face a bit more as he sees the literal frustration building on Jensen's face, those features almost curling into near hatred. “Why?”

“Because ** _I_** want to hear **_Jared Tristan_** 's story from his _own_ mouth.” Jensen almost cannot stop his face from showing a certain anger toward what Jared holds in his hand. “I don't want some 25yr old public record to try and color _my_ Omega any other way than how **_he_** _sees_ ** _himself_**.”

Jared shudders at the word “my” in front of Omega, then he swipes a hand over the lower portion of his face as he sets the file aside. “How _much_ do you know?” Because without opening the file, he's willing to drop all his secrets right here and now. He's never been a “paperwork” kind of employee.

Jensen realizes that he doesn't have to keep away from Jared. No space was needed to give him room to rage or vent. He should've known the Omega would react like this...so calm and collected, and so willing to be as open and honest as Jensen asks of him. “I'll tell you what I got from trying to read it and not getting frustrated...angry and so god-damn pissed for you...” He's worked himself to about as far as he was before he got up, seated on the hump, but dangling his right foot to the carpeting.

“ _What_?” Jared has been sitting forward, elbows on his thighs. He feels like he's about ready to collapse, preferably in the arms of this Alpha in front of him. Jared will try to stay upright as long as he can bear.

“You _need_ a pack.” Green eyes stare hard into hazel.

“I _have_ one.” Jared proclaims but with a slight gulp of his throat.

“No. You _don't_. Not _legally_.” Jensen uses his index finger to point down to the file that sinks into the cushions. “And certainly _not_ on paper.”

“But...” Jared blinks rapidly, his mind working in overtime trying to think of what was told him and his parents so long ago whenever this would've come up—which it never had until now. “I have a place— _my parents_...”

“If a case worker ever got sent out to look over your ' _place of residence_ ',” Jensen does the annoying “air quotes” to show Jared that his proof is flimsy at best and holds no importance in being legal. “...I'm not sure who they'd fine or jail first.”

“They said it was all right...” Jared turns to sit so his feet are placed fully on the floor, soles flat to the carpet. He droops his body, back hunching as he settles his elbows on his knees and hands dangle between his thighs. “...as long as I had...”

“Who?” Jensen tilts his head to show an ear to Jared, wanting to know _what_ was told to him and by _whom_ —because he'd love to give them a piece of his mind right now. “Who's ' _they_ ', Jared?”

“Lots of people.” Jared peers over the rounded joint of his shoulder, then rubs his chin and jaw along the t-shirt. He brings up a hand to sift through his locks and rub hard at his neck and nape. “Practically everyone in the New-Freedomer packs who talked to me and my parents before I started working.”

“Who's Ronca?” Jensen takes the file in his hand, placing his body as close as Jared will allow him. He starts to untie the string so he can open the accordion file. “Gary Ronca?”

“He used to run the company.” Jared watches Jensen open the file in total exhaustion, not ready to put up any kind of fight as if he knows he's done some kind of wrong, or should be held accountable for his own actions in what he's allowed to happen. “He doesn't anymore, but his brother-in-law does...his sister's husband, I think. I don't know where Ronca went—something about retiring with a cash settlement.”

“Well...it's not legal what you're doing...what's been done to you an'...” Jensen can see that Jared is almost cowering away, folding into himself, so he stops opening the file to a certain extent. “I'm not letting _my_ Omega get dragged through the mud because of some scuzzy slimeball's mistake... _when it_ ** _wasn't_** _your fault to begin with_.”

“But, I thought...” Jared brings up his left arm, sets it on the armrest and bites at his thumbnail. “...only if I'm, uh...' _red flagged_ ' or something, _right_?”

“Jared...” Jensen places a hand on Jared's right thigh, clamping around the shape tightly. “...you've been ' _red flagged_ ' since—well, 8yrs ago.” He offers out the file again for him to look over. “They just haven't gotten around to finding your public record to even glance at.”

“ _Seriously_?” _Eight years?_ It's been eight years since he's started working for the company...when he was told everything had been “worked out” and things were “legitimate”. Jared had heard rumors of Gary Ronca doing shady business, but only thought it was toward dealings with the account books and the money coming in and out, but obviously there was some dirty dealings that went far beyond just money woes. The idea that his parents could've known what had been done to him and had some kind of underhanded means of “getting rid of him”—a fear he had for only a few years now—constantly wiggled at his mind, made him feel sick to his stomach.

“No joke.” Jensen removes his hand from the thigh so he can caress over the hunched back, hoping that would soothe Jared, but it doesn't seem to be much help, only makes it worse. “I could've kept this to myself. Been the big dumb hero and saved the day, but...I'd rather have you helping me, help yourself.” He sets the file down on the space on the coffee table in front of Jared, seeing as the Omega can't actually touch the file or he'll be physically ill. Jensen settles his arm completely over the broad shoulders and brings Jared close to his side, almost knocking their bent heads. He wants Jared to stop biting his nails so he takes the hand in his grasp, making a united fist of both their hands. “I want us to work together to make this right, to make sure all the ' ** _i_** 's' are dotted and the ' ** _t_** 's' crossed.”

Jared leans weakly into the curve of Jensen's arm, glad for the strong support. “What can _we_ do?” He's not sure he wants to do this now, because he was just getting used to the idea of Jensen in his life, then opening up to him about his sexuality, now...it's like there's more of an excuse to be together but for all the wrong reasons. Jared doesn't want to have his own Alpha just to have a pack of his own. He wants this to happen naturally, to _not_ be forced.

“First, we have to make an appeal to Pack Council.” Jensen draws back off Jared, but only because he has to become the responsible one here, now that they've decided to mate and be together. He's not scampering away from this moment like a sacred rabbit. “I think I'll have an 'in' with my father being a high official. But we need to know how clean your record is, then how to go about finding you a pack.” He puts his hands up, already in his own defense. “Before we go further, we're doin' this as legal as possible. And I'm not rushing _our mating_ just to give you a pack.”

Jared is a little relieved to hear this, but he's still not okay. “Tha's fine. I'll _earn_ my place.” He clears his throat and starts to sit up straighter. “I'm not so weak-kneed that I can't...”

“No...” Jensen isn't talking about Jared having to prove he's worthy. “...our options to get you legally bound to a pack narrow down to _one_ viable option.” He starts to rifle through the half-open file; he's only going to pull out the needed sheets of paper.

“How many are there?” Jared furrows his brow in worry, thinking that with so many options why does one sound like the best and only?

“Of the plausible ones?” Jensen lifts his eyebrows, catching Jared's slow nod. “Sophia found 3.” He can detect what Jared's next question might be. “None are 'fostering', 'adoption' or 'guardianship'.”

“oh, okay.” Jared quiets down, a little interested in what other options had been available to choose from. “I was just about to ask.”

Jensen pulls the notes out, then tries to place them in order so that Jared can read them with some understanding. “My apologies, Soph's god-awful chicken-scratch notes. Look over those...” Jensen taps Jared's knee twice, then grabs it on a solid clutch. “...I'll clear up anything not legible. I realized I left my laptop near the stairs in the front foyer.” He had spent some time looking over drafts of “pack by proxy” documents, trying to find which one fit their situation. “Back in a jiff.” Jensen hadn't meant to leave Jared in the lurch, making him think he was all alone, but he really needed his laptop for the rest of this discussion.

Jared tries to read the pages, but once Jensen is gone his eyes keep collecting moisture and he has to constantly wipe at his lids. He throws down the notes after attempting to read them through quickly and he stands to pace to the window. _Jesus_...there really was no other options out there for them to choose from. He doesn't want to mate with Jensen on a temporary basis, so the “arrange mating” is out of the question. And he really doesn't want to enter yet another ridiculous contract where his life is put in another's hands where he could be libel for wrongdoing or found guilty of a falsified legality—so he would never agree to a “mating by contract”. He doesn't like the “pack by proxy” because it does _nothing_ toward he and Jensen's growing relationship; Jensen would be his “spokesperson” but does that make it right for him to eventually become his mated Alpha? Maybe Jensen knows something more than what's written in Sophia's notes.

Jensen wanders back in and shuts the door, the laptop is already booted and open in one of his hands. “Sorry 'bout that. Didn't mean to be so long.” He's talking a mile-a-minute, but only because he doesn't want to give Jared a chance to dwell on the negatives, to only think in the positives. “I hate _all_ those options, by the way, but if we have to do one...I'd say ' _pack by proxy_ '...” He turns to find Jared not on the sofa, where he left him, but standing to lean into the large picture window. Jensen puts down his computer on the coffee table, making his way over. “Jay...look...” He wants to know exactly what Jared wants and needs. He steps up and spans his hands over the broad shoulders. “I want you in my pack, Jay— _the right way_.” Jensen is getting used to talking to Jared's back and still knowing his words are getting across. He feels the lungs expanding and contracting from the back; he can even feel the heart beating, but that's more because he lets his hands slip under the armpits to venture toward the front of the upper chest. “I don't want to arrange some quickie mating thingie...or write out some silly contract to bind you to me for a mere five or ten years.” Jensen clears his throat, nearly leaning his cheek on the hunched back. “To me, I think you'd consider that choice like a prison sentence. I choose the ' _by proxy_ ' because we're both taking this slow between us.” He's a bit stunned when Jared takes his left hand between both of his, keeping that limb around his torso, hugging the hand to his front, so Jensen soothes his right hand over Jared's back, working lower to slip under the t-shirt, getting close enough to connect through bare skin. “I'm not gonna do anything foolish to jeopardize your record, sending up more ' _red flags_ ' where there's some— _god_ —some fuckin' chance I could lose you.” Now Jensen feels he can lay his cheek on Jared's back; there's just no other way to convey he can't ever let Jared go.

Jared glances over and down from his shoulder. “...good...'cuz I don' wanna be lost...” He speaks his words through a mist of tears, trying to clear his clogged throat.

“man, c'mon...” Jensen swallows hard as he tries to turn Jared around to face him. He wants him to let him hold him, if he'll let him get close enough. “...you're breakin' my heart here...” Jared does twist around, but he slips down to sit on the sill, back ramrod straight on the window pane as he folds his arms over his chest. Jensen knows he's being intentionally kept distant from Jared, but it's only a matter of time before the Omega is worn down. “You scare me when you take yourself far-away like that.” Jensen only brings out one hand to caress over Jared's flushed cheek, wiping away the tracks of wetness he finds. He hesitates but uses the back of the same hand to brush down the other cheek too.

“There's no need to be scared.” Jared leans into the touch, but not for long, as he gives off a reassuring smile. “I never go far. Or I try not to.”

“You're always so still an' quiet...” Jensen attempts to keep his arms crossed at his back but it's tough. Not when he wants to put both of his arms around Jared and hold on for dear life. “I never want to bother you.”

“I don't mind...” Jared has kept his head lowered, but lifts to look at the concerned green gaze that never wavers off him. It's unsettling how much he's disturbed by Jensen's interest in him. Not that he's attracted but that he cares so deeply so instantly...like he'll always be faithful and loyal. “...hearing your voice, seeing your face...scenting you...” He has to look away as he admits what he likes about the Alpha. “I don't mind in the least.” Jensen is the first Alpha he's ever let this close, or even just to be near him physically.

“So...prove it. Look at me now...and don't drop your gaze.”

“I... _can't_.” Jared starts to turn his head, averting in any other direction but directly at Jensen.

“Why?” Jensen is deeply worried and wants to know why Jared can't focus on him for long.

“I'm so... _sorry_...an' ashamed.” Jared bows his head on a turn to prove how ashamed he is. “I keep fuckin' _this_ up for us.” He shakes his head at his own stupidity. “All that I've done... _to you_ , _to myself_. What I've let—it never occurred to me to keep tabs on _that_ part of my life.” Jared clears his throat as more tears threaten to surface, choking his esophagus. “No one's ever cared enough to even find out why I have no pack, _still_ —no Alpha or Beta.” He does put an effort to lift his head as he speaks, but it keeps going up and down. “Somehow it's excusable because of what I do for a living...the services I provide. I'm like some pack's sign from God, a link to their ideal of Heaven...”

“well, sorry...you're not even close.” Jensen's not poking fun, he's fairly serious because he is now fully aware that through most of Jared's life he's done _everything_ for others and _nothing_ for himself. He's behaved and he's done what he was told was right, he's never harmed anyone or hurt them...but yet he's done that very thing to himself, countless of times. “Or you shouldn't be. Not for your abilities alone.” Jensen is grumbling now, under-breath, like one of the elder Alphas who sit around porches and stare numb-faced and rheumy-eyed at nothing and bark about the “good ole days” of pack life. He's done keeping his hands off Jared, who he's wanted to touch since...feels like forever. Jensen shapes both hands around Jared's face, holding the head upright, if the Omega can't hold the weight. “You deserve to be looked at as a man... _the brother, the best friend, the lover_...who sometimes does human things and makes stupid mistakes.” One hand under chin, he combs back the long, dark strands from the teary-eyed face. “But you've earned more right than anyone else to finally be the Omega you were born to become.” He's gently wiping at the skin, but he's also doing playfully things, like brushing over the nosetip, blowing at moist lashes and nipping tenderly at wet eyelids. “You deserve to be loved and cherished...adored and treated like a King for everything you've done...and will do...” Jensen mutters that last portion so only he knows what he said because he's the one who knows there's going to be so much more to Jared's life than just what he thinks he's good for.

“You speak with such conviction...” Jared finally stares directly into Jensen's face, liking the dark green he sees looking back at him. He knows the Alpha feels passionate about what he speaks of. “...you make me start to believe in myself again.”

“Tha's why I'm here, Jay...” Jensen doesn't care for distance anymore so he hugs Jared to his chest, even if it is just his head and partial upper torso. “... _for you_...” He delicately pets through the hair as it settles against his chest wall.

“Same here, _love_... _for you_.” Jared would never presume to take action above an Alpha, but he will react how he feels to Jensen's actions. He wraps his arms tight about the torso, his hands forming fists at Jensen's back, along the spine. “I'm here... _always_...” Jared's never meant so few words more where he's truly believed them and knows they would be given back to him in kind.

“May I ask you a question?” Jensen bows over Jared's head, nuzzling the soft hair.

“Sure.” Jared feels like he can relax now that Jensen's holding him tight. “What do you want to know?”

“This, uh...' _doorway_ ' you opened between us, is there _any_ chance some _thing_ may have... _rubbed off on me_?” Jensen doesn't mean this to be a tease, but he knows of only one way to prove to Jared that his life has another meaning besides being a spiritual guide and this sexual hang-up he has may just be temporary at best. It's the one thing he had that he knows will put some sparkle back in Jared's eyes.

“Wha—?” Jared draws back a few inches to gaze up at Jensen as he wrinkles his brow in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Earlier, when you were at my bedside as I woke...” Jensen keeps Jared's arm about his body, then leans into his side, like if he could...he'd sit on his lap. Jared's barely seated on that short window sill, so Jensen isn't even going to attempt adding more weight. “...I was having that ' _good dream_ ' I told you about that got interrupted...”

“...we were having sex, weren't we?” Jared can “fill-in-the-blank” by Jensen's wild look to his eyes, and those telling features that wiggle and twist to fit the words being uttered.

“oh _shit_...perceptive, aren't you?” Jensen snaps his fingers in mock frustration. “Well, yeah...of course we did, because in dreams both of us aren't awkward about sex and so needy for one another it's insane...” He rolls his eyes and bends knees at the word “insane” to stress its meaning—or so Jared can know how intense the sex had been between them.

“uh, yeah-yeah... _what else_?” Jared is going to have to steer Jensen away from this kind of teasing dialog, to just get to the meaty portions so he can react.

“But now...” Jensen turns his head to look up, then shakes it, making a concerned face. “...I'm not so sure it was _merely_ a dream.”

“Why do you say _that_?” Jared offers out a thigh—the right one—which Jensen sits down on very lightly, so as not to put too much of his body's weight down on. Strangely enough, Jared can bear more weight than Jensen realizes, which is why he made the offer of his thigh.

Jensen settles his arm curled about Jared's shoulders. “I felt every emotion I'm feeling right now for you, but magnified to an _intensity_...” He leans in to hug the head to his chest, fingers already playing at the back of the head. “—and it didn't feel contrived or weird...it was just a normal early morning fuck to start off our day...”

“ _oh..._ ” To Jared, that really doesn't sound that arousing unless the sex being had was somehow different from the normal position of sex of most couples mated, which would be “missionary” or “doggy-style”. He's not going to embarrass Jensen by asking him what sexual position it was so he'll know why the Alpha is so “turned-on” by the dream.

“...you, of course, couldn't get enough of my body—well, my cock, an' not just my knot...” Jensen leans in to playfully nip at an ear lobe.

Okay, now maybe Jared has some clue to why Jensen feels it was more arousing than any _real_ sex he's ever had. “... _really_?” He lifts one eyebrow in curiosity.

“There was this moment, though...” Jensen uses his left hand over Jared's shoulder to demonstrate the image as best he can. “I was on the bed, you straddled me backwards...” He's back to speaking into an ear, this time softly biting the lobe. “...your self-lubricating hole so dripping wet for me, you slid down my shaft like a glove...you were rolling your hips, working them hard as you leaned forward to use my legs for balance, then you fucked yourself on me, taking my knot into your tight puckered hole...”

“...oh _love_...” Jared's never liked dirty talk unless sex was involved in a millisecond of time, but it sure does get the body heated and semi-hard when it's them alone, still dressed and the Alpha seated on his thigh.

“...I couldn't bear to see you do all the work for our mutual pleasure...” Jensen spins a little so he has to take Jared's head in both of his hands again; this time he uses his own head to push Jared into his right palm, so he can nudge and nuzzle the side of the face and hair, paying close attention to the ear. “...an' I couldn't bear not bein' able to touch you, mold our bodies together as one...” He's thinking about sliding off, getting to the floor so he can actually make the motions of Jared's hands on his body. “...so I sat upright, stretching my arms around you, you took my hands and as we kissed over your right shoulder...”

“... ** _wha-a-a-a-t!?_** ” Jensen is driving Jared absolutely batshit with needs and wants he's never known he could desire for himself.

“...you _really_ wanna know?” This is where Jensen drops, but doesn't realize he's on his knees between the Omega's thighs...like a submissive pose.

“ _Yes!”_ Jared playfully shakes Jensen not even aware what the Alpha looks like on the floor below him...just that he's aggravating him with his slow-telling of this damn dream of his. _“God damn you!_ ” He's never understood the need or want to kiss someone senseless, but he's kind of comprehending where the expression came from.

Jensen takes Jared's hands in his and brings them to settle, placing them around his flat abdominal wall, then rests his own hands over-top. “...you brought the bonds of our hands to surround your waist and we both cradled the mound of our 'pup' inside your belly...”

“ _oh.my.god..._ ” Jared works out one hand to cover nose and mouth, then over his eyes. “ _oh, holy shit..._ ”

“Is it true?” Jensen keeps hold of one of Jared's hands on his stomach, squeezing the shape tight in his grip. “Can I see us _that_ clearly...so _normally_ together? Like it's _our future_?...because if it **_is_** real, then not only are we doing _this_ right, but we're _mated_...an' we're _pregnant_.” He smiles as he clears his throat, feeling his own emotions overload at the sight of Jared's near breakdown. “You wanted to know how I know your problems in the bedroom _aren't_ going to be an issue.” Jensen sidles up, closer between the spread thighs, his arms sliding over and around to loosely hold on to Jared's waist. “I hope— _soon_.” He's looking up at Jared thoughtfully, his own eyes misty as Jared still hasn't removed his hand from over his eyes or face. “I'd love for that dream to be even more real, where it's us...a _year_ — _two years_ from this _very_ moment...”

It's too much for Jared to take. He feels like he's about to suffocate or become so sick to his stomach he'll vomit. “...no...no...I need—air...please...” He doesn't forget to caress Jensen's face nor merge their foreheads as a sign of him listening and understanding, but he can't take it all in with Jensen so close and his heat and his scent...his _everything_ pouring over him to overwhelm and... _love him_? It's just too much right now...he truly _can't_ breathe.

It's that desperate inhale of air and the stilted breathes following that keep Jensen on his knees, and actually loosening his grip of Jared's whole body so he can stand and leave him. It's pure agony to witness and realize what he's done, while thinking it was good news or at least a certain uplifting idea that Jared wouldn't be...he wouldn't have much difficulty in their bed sexually, like he feared. His instincts scream at him to give chase as Jared leaves the office as hurriedly as his long legs can carry him. Jensen has to keep faith that Jared heard every word and truly _did_ understand why he said them since he touched his face and bumped their brows. He just doesn't know why Jared won't let him hang on or hold him while he lets the emotions overtake him. Almost like they did upstairs in his bed.

Or maybe this is Jared's breaking point, meaning it was time to call this time over and to go their separate ways for few hours. This is Jared when he's had... _enough_...and Jensen needs to back off and let him breathe...

==&&==&&==

Jensen is giving Jared a ten minute head-start before he heads outside to follow in the Omega's tracks. _Wait..._ he has to get used to this as soon as possible— ** _HIS_** Omega. He makes sure to stop at the downstairs closet to pull out one of the pack's homemade quilts they use outdoors on the porch. Jared had to be freezing, and if he was taking in fresh air, like he had when he'd broken through Chad...Jared could well be wet and shivering in the cold morning air.

The second Jensen is at the open backdoor, looking through the screen, he sees that Jared hasn't gone far. He's seated on the porch steps, knees bent and leaning forward. Jensen can hear the sniffling from where he stands, watching Jared use wrists and portions of his t-shirt to wipe away signs of moisture. Jensen's isn't sure Jared _wants_ him to follow, but he's not going to leave him alone in misery. If Jared doesn't want him near, Jensen will sit on the porch—the chair or the swing. If the porch is too close, he'll stand behind the screen door. It's a better sign that Jared is still somewhere near the house and not wandering in the vegetable garden in bare feet.

Jensen shakes open the quilt, then wanders over to take one step down and wrap Jared in the thin hand-sewn material. He lets his right hand clench around the thick right biceps, about to remove his hands, letting fingers linger...when Jared reaches out to snag those fingers, catching the feel of the thick pack ring under his palm. He makes a soft noise under his throat as if to silently beg the Alpha _not_ to leave him. Jensen squats where he is, sending his left arm to hook around Jared's neck as Jared leans into Jensen's chest wall. It's an awkward stance for Jensen, one bare foot high, one low and resting his head on top of the soft brown hair that feels chilly against his cheek.

He almost lets out a strangled whimper, as if he can feel the agony of his Omega. Even without mating... _knotting_...their connection is palpable and strong. Jensen finally understands that it's not just the sex itself that worries Jared, but that he couldn't live up to being the Omega he was born to be. He's already resigned in himself he'll never have his own pack...he'll never find a mated Alpha or a Beta, which means he's killed off any chances of having a “pup” of his own. Jared has already crossed each one of these off his pack life list and in one feel swoop...here comes Jensen Ackles and...big dumb hero that he never tries to be, he's giving Jared everything he ever dreamed he'd never have.

Jensen needs to sit or he'll hurt his back; he tries to reassure Jared with small nudges to the side of his face and hair, almost cooing him into calm, telling Jared he's _not_ leaving—Jared can run away as often as he needs, but Jensen will always be right behind him. He sits down on the planked floor of the porch, his right arm solid around Jared as he pulls his Omega backward to use his body as a resting place. Jared keeps his frame tense as he tries to relax backward, slightly turned to the right so he can press his cheek into the rounded curves of the shoulder beneath. Jensen's left hand goes about, keeping the quilt material over every exposed part of Jared.

Once he's satisfied, Jensen rests his own cheek against the back of the dark head, lips skimming the pale nape. “I didn't mean to spring that on you to get some kind of reaction from you.” He brings his left hand up to soothe along Jared's back. “At least not... _this_. I'm beginning to understand why my Alphas can't handle seeing _their_ mates in _any_ kind of pain. Certainly not pain they inflict themselves.” Jensen feels like he just did his first stupid Alpha move, thinking of himself and not of them both. He just knows he screwed up—big time and he has to make amends.

“I'm not. In pain.” Jared clears his clogged throat, wiping his face on Jensen's t-shirt. “Not _hurt_ -pain. This is _heart_ -pain. And not _your_ fault.” He closes his eyes at that heartfelt admission.

“Still... ** _I_** did this to **_you_**.” Jensen wants to smack himself upside the head.

“... _fuck no_.” Jared begins to pet down Jensen's arm, curving a little over the back. “I do this to myself. I'm too sensitive.” He rolls his eyes and sniffles a bit more. “I feel— _too much_. Life is overwhelming enough, yet I find ways to cause more.” Jared's not expecting it but out of nowhere, Jensen provides him with Kleenex, to which he starts to sniffle and tear-up some more. “... _than' you_...” The moment is a silenced by him blowing his nose.

“I think it's impossible not to.” Usually, Jensen would be the blubbering one, but it good to see that they both could do this together, in private...like now. He's feeling a little misty-eyed himself but he's trying to brave and strong for Jared, though he has let a few drops escape, quickly wiping them away with his shoulder. “Now I see why you walk off or you take those quiet moments to send your mind away. I'm jealous. I stay too in-the-moment...” He shakes his head and leans more into Jared's head, almost resting against him. “I almost smoother and I cling.” As if Jensen notices he's doing _exactly that_ to Jared, he pulls away, but feels Jared cling even harder, like he _wants_ to smothered. “Tell me when I'm too much. I'll walk away, but I won't be far.”

“No. Stay. This is good.” Jared clears his throat, almost hugging Jensen's arm and leg. “I haven't had anyone to comfort me like this since—it's been a while.” He softens that last portion, as if embarrassed.

Jensen releases a gentle laugh. “I think we all could use some welcome comfort like this.”

“When you were little...” Jared turns his face so he can kind-of-sort-of see Jensen face at the back of his head. It's such a beautiful face even in simple profile...with the barely-there sunlight shaping its frame, making the green eyes lighter than they should be. “...who held you closest to their heart?”

“mmm...my mother Omega.” Jensen sniffles out a soft snicker from his nostrils, holding Jared tighter. “She was also there when I was in tears or I had fallen and scraped my knees. You?”

“Same.” Jared twists his body to now rest half of his back on Jensen's chest, so now they both can look out over the backyard together. “I think it's why we bond so well. It's the only way we know how to comfort.” He's loving that Jensen finds ways to drape over his body, almost like he's not daring to touch but needs to having their skin in constant contact. But mostly, he likes the way Jensen allows him to lean against him offering constant support.

“I've never—I've not been like _this_ —to _this_ extreme—with _anyone_. I always feel like I _can't_.” Jensen opens his knees to let Jared slip through them and lay fully on his chest. “I have to hold back or...I'll scare my pack.” He feels Jared weaken and lay on him, so he loosely settles his arms on his knees, encasing Jared within the cocoon of his limbs. “I mean, who wants a lead Alpha who acts in _this_ manner, when his pack members are in emotional turmoil.” Jensen lets out an easy smile as he bumps up against the side of Jared's head and hair, nudging gently. “I've slipped with Adrian once or twice, but that's because he feared for Milo's life.”

Jared chuckles lightly as he nudges back. “I've had a few special clients who I've—I don't _ever_ show _this_ emotional, darker side to packs or their members.” He rolls his head around to lay his head down on the right arm. “I've been a better guide that way. I'm already a sad sack of turmoil and grief just being around them. _jesus_...” Jared snorts a laugh as he tucks the quilt more around his body, then watches as Jensen wraps his arms around the shapes of Jared's arms under the material. “...I'd be a complete basketcase if I let them in like they let me in.”

Jensen nuzzles the side of Jared's face, nibbling at the jawline and half the cheek near a side-burn. “Then I guess it's good we found one another.”

Jared heavily sighs, closing his eyes to the feel of Jensen behind him, to the side of him and almost all-around him. It's not as stifling as it had been before, but mostly because he's had some time to process what he's been told. “It's the whole yin and yang theory for 'true halves'... _when I'm weak, you're strong_...” Jared teeters between Jensen's biceps and Jensen's head. “... _when you're weak, I'm strong_...”

“I'm happy to have someone I can finally be real and honest with.” Jensen's soaking in as much of Jared's intense heat as he can; he doesn't need the quilt as long as they can stay perfectly close, like this. “You've seen me at my worst...”

“...and your goofiest...” Jared lifts out a hand from within the quilt and tenderly pets over Jensen's jaw and cheek. “...your shy-est...an' your cute-est...”

Jensen leans into the warm fingers, nipping at them as they try to pull away and go hide again. “You told me you never saw yourself as Alpha, yet...you have more Alpha tendencies than Beta.”

“Maybe it's a Super-Beta.” Jared twists his head to fit into the crevice of neck and shoulder with a light laugh as he wipes at his face with a portion of the quilt, muffling his voice.

“Super-Mega-Ultra Beta...” Jensen snickers into Jared's hair.

“hehehe...” Jared is a little too relaxed now as he's actually using Jensen's thighs like armrests from beneath the material. “...what the fuck are we gonna do, Jen?”

“You mean in the next few minutes, the next hour...this morning...?” Jensen already knows what Jared is asking; he's worried about the same thing.

“Are you worried or concerned about how the pack will feel?” Jared attempts to lean back far enough so he can look up at Jensen's face that looms above him. “And...when do we tell them? Do we tell them at all or...keep this to ourselves until—?”

“Has work called you yet?” Jensen scratches at the side of his nose; he's afraid that a whole other life has begun with him being unaware. A life he's not been a part of. A life he may lose Jared to if he doesn't secure him as best he can to his side.

“uh, no.” Jared brings up a hand to cough into it, then crosses his arms to settle against Jensen's chest. “But I'm anticipating they will, eventually.”

“Well, for now...I want you- ** _us_**...all to myself.” Jensen makes that point clear as he wraps his arms around Jared again, leaning his face on top of the dark hair. “I don't need my pack's permission or their approval.”

“Everyone seems all right with me as a guide to the pack...brother to Milo.” Jared keeps his eyes straightforward, his body beginning to feel the tension that might, or might not, start to flourish if they aren't careful. “It's bit different when I'm lead Alpha's Omega... _christ_...” He goes to cover his head with the portions of the quilt in his grasp. “...maybe it's best we keep quiet—don't rock the boat.”

“Well, we can't do _this_ kind of stuff out in the open.” Jensen snickers softly as he watches Jared hide and then pop his head back out to lay on his torso. Every time he does, Jensen returns to nudging or nuzzling the head or face, whichever is closest. “Lucky for us it's still early enough an' my pack all love _late_ mornings.” He means to enunciate that “late” bit because he also loves to be late, too, but more on his days off...like the weekends. Jensen can't wait to spend those moments with Jared—awake or asleep—caught up and tangled in his arms.

“I should think about heading upstairs.” Though Jared talks about getting up, he's not making one move to get away from Jensen. “Milo will be waking soon and...I need to be where I was when he saw me last.”

Jensen smirks into Jared's face as he goes to nibble at the cheek again. “When can you sleep over in my bed again?”

Jared tucks his shoulder to his face as if it tickles, whatever Jensen is doing, or keeps doing, to his face. “You don't mind _actually_ falling asleep together?”

“mmm...I can scent you now.” Jensen simply means that if he can scent him now and not feel like he needs to pounce or have dirty, raunchy sex with him, then they're probably safe to just sleep together. “I'll feel less lonely if you're near.” He wants this to be known and understood.

“We'll catch a break soon.” Jared reaches up with his left hand to pat Jensen's left cheek.

“ _Oh_? _How so_?” Jensen is assuming Jared's going to wield some kind of magic from his spiritual guide reference in order to gain them time together.

“Milo's been...” Jared isn't sure how Jensen will react to hearing this about his own pack members, so he's treading slowly, hesitatingly so he doesn't just burst out with something that will make Jensen blush. “...asking Adrian to spend a few nights with him.”

Jensen furrows his brow with some concern, but not much. “I thought they were already on an alternating or rotating sleeping schedule with Soph.”

“Not since the incident with Milo an' the 'pup'. Adrian wanted Milo to get better.” Jared is now off Jensen's chest, sitting how he would if he was only seated on the porch step. Every once in a while he'll turn back to say whatever he needs to toward Jensen, so he's not rudely speaking in front of him with his back turned. “Plus, I needed somewhere to sleep and I was right there if Milo relapsed. Now it's—” Jared quickly covers his mouth in a playful manner, then whispers the words into the material.

“ ** _What?!_** ” Jensen begins to let out a laugh, tugging on Jared's arm of the hand covering his mouth. He wants to hear what he's saying. “Are you the one who's suddenly shy now?”

Jared shakes his head in disagreement, then twists around to look directly at Jensen, hand lowered and body straight. “Milo says he _needs_ Adrian—like needs him _intimately_... _sexually_... ** _inside_** _him_...” He can see the blush start to rise already, but at least Jensen isn't looking outraged or embarrassed, he's trying to be brave and take it in. Jared can tell and grabs Jensen's left cheek to caress as he hides his own face away in Jensen's warm neck.

“ahhh, like us in my... _vision_...” Jensen nuzzles the hair that brushes over his face. At least that's what he's gonna call his dreams about them from now on.

“ _ohgod_...I'm such an awful prude.” Jared chuckles deeply against Jensen's upper chest and collarbone. “I didn't tell Milo ' _no_ ' when he asked me if it was okay for him to be with his Alpha. Mainly because I **_really_** _don't know_.”

“ _heyheyhey_...” Jensen knows his Alphas and he knows Adrian even more, knows how much he adores Milo so he is assured this moment won't be a true worry or concern. “...something tells me Adrian and Milo are smart enough to know what's best.” He still can feel what he felt during that dream—vision—and he wishes there were better words to convey to Jared the way it made him feel. The only other way is to _show_ Jared, but...that's for later. Much, much later. “I never even thought it was possible—sex while carrying—but.. _.that shit was so fuckin' hot, Jay_...”

“... _god, it soun's like it was_.” Before Jared could've just written it off as Jensen being pure Alpha, but now...he can sense it throughout Jensen's body that he's more unsettled by the dream than normal. “I wish I could dream _that_ vividly—at least I'd be havin' some form of sex in my life.”

They both share in a mutual laugh. As Jared nudges and nips where he is, Jensen caresses and nuzzles from his position over Jared's head.

“You have enough of the fresh air?” Jensen can feel Jared starting to shiver.

“Yes.” Jared doesn't believe that it's only himself that's almost cold, Jensen has to be near-freezing. He's been wanting to share some of the quilt, but Jensen never made a move to show he was even feeling a slight chill. “I _need_ to get warm.”

“C'mon...” Jensen is up, moving to stand on the planked floor, holding a hand down to Jared, who reluctantly takes the offer up the measly two steps. “...we'll go back to my office.” He keeps his hand there only to take back the quilt, then shuffle Jared ahead of him so they can get behind the door and shut it. “I'll build you a fire...we can talk a bit more about a few things.” Jensen watches Jared keep standing where he is, huddled into himself like he's shaking off the cold air. He keeps gesturing his head for Jared to move further into the house and go into his office where the air is warmer. “Then I'll need to head upstairs to shower, get ready for work.”

“...you're gonna build me a fire...” It sound so... _primitive_...like it's the old way of pack life where the members did stuff to keep each other warm while hunting and gathering about the woods. Jared thinks it's the sweetest...most sexiest thing he's ever heard said to him and being totally earnest.

Jensen has no idea why Jared stares at him like he just gave him a million dollars and a get-out-of-jail-free card, but his Omega is positively, absolutely looking at him with a little bit of “love” in his eyes...if he's not completely insane that's what he can see.

==&&==&&==

 **TBC...**


	13. Chapter 13

As per usual for his morning ritual, Jensen had left the bathroom door open to let steam billow out. He usually has brought all his clothes in, except socks and his boots, then will dress fully in the bathroom. He doesn't know how he knows, but Jared's hanging out in the bedroom; Jensen smiles broadly as he slaps cologne on his face, wiping excess over the material of his t-shirt. He'll wear a plaid long-sleeved button-down over the shirt, but that waits for him in the closet as he hasn't picked one out yet. His boots are beside the bed, positioned to slip his feet right in them once he dons his thick cotton socks.

Jensen wanders out with his gaze already seeking out where Jared might be, not expecting his Omega to be seated on the bed, legs crossed and sitting Indian-style. “Hey...”

“...hi...” Jared's breathless with a rush of scent and heat, not prepared when Jensen takes the empty spot to his left on the bed. “...you smell good.”

Jensen can tell Jared has showered as well; he's dressed differently. He notices that the dark brown hair is still wet, combed back from the handsome features. “I can see you.” Jensen plays with the soft, moist ends, then brushes knuckles along Jared's cheek where he has shaved his stubble. “How do you get such a close shave?”

Jared feels Jensen's jaw; there's still some slight stubble. “Straight razor.”

“ _jesus_...you're brave.” Jensen chokes on a swallow as he's unexpectedly turned on by Jared's heat and scent; he wonders if Jared feels the same.

“I could, uh...tomorrow...if you want, I could—” Jared makes the moves of shaving on his own face, watching as Jensen picks up the socks to untuck them and shake each one out.

Jensen pauses, a little frightened because he better not piss his Omega off in the next 24hrs. “uhm, sure...sure, but lemme think about it.” He starts putting on the left sock before the right, doing everything while seated upright, then drawing his leg to his chest.

“It's okay. Most guys only trust their barbers. I won't be offended.” Jared keeps a hesitant hand in mid-air, at the back, thinking Jensen will fall over or backward. “I'd just...I'd really like to help you get a close shave.”

“oh, man...you're good.” Jensen shakes his head as he rearranges his body to draw up a foot on the edge of the bed frame, then reaches out to pick up his Android phone he had thrown on the mattress to remind him he had meant to show Jared something on the device. He turns back around to lean his right elbow on the thick of Jared's thigh, then scrolls through screens with only his thumbs. “I don't know why I didn't show these to you down in my office. I have 'em on my laptop.”

Jared extends his arms back to brace his body, watching Jensen expertly work his cell phone with one finger. He notices the manufacturer's tag has flipped on the t-shirt and lays on Jensen's bare neck. He tucks it back, then does a light scratch of the bottom scalp at the hairline. “How long have you had this brand of t-shirts?”

“uhm—a few years.” eh, try since Jensen began learning carpentry. “Why?”

“I can find you tagless ones. Doesn't the, uh...does the tag itch your nape sometimes?”

“A little, but not like it makes me wanna claw my skin off.” Jensen looks down at his phone, the glow from the changing screens lights his face and eyes. He gives a side glance to Jared. “You're too damn efficient. Already prepared to take care of me.”

A serious frown mars Jared's forehead. “You don't like it?”

“No...I fuckin' love it.” Jensen nudges his brow into Jared's face, trying to get him to stop wrinkling his forehead so severely. “Just don't mind me acting shocked or stunned all the time.” He shakes his head. “...an' let me do stuff for you too. We're equal partners in this relationship. I need you to know you're not alone anymore.” Jensen places a hand on Jared's thigh, sliding it along the inseam to eventual stop at the rounded end of the kneecap. “Even if I scared you tomorrow an' you left this house screaming for the hills...you always have a place here with me...my pack...” He gently pokes Jared in the side with his elbow.

Jared reaches out a hand to clamp around Jensen's nape, then rubs down his back, scratching lightly on the upswing. “Watcha gotta show me?”

“These.” Jensen hands over his phone. He begins to slip on his boots, the same way he put on his socks; he points over his shoulder as he works on the strings to tighten the soft suede around his foot. “See that big-ass arrow down there...jus' use your fingertip, or thumb, to press and slide to the next pic.”

All Jared sees is an icon of a file folder to show him he'll be viewing photographs; he follows Jensen's instructions and frowns at the first image. “...is that you—in your workshop?” He turns his head to try and figure out what Jensen is doing.

“yup...keep scrolling.” Jensen shoves over a bit, so he won't disturb Jared as Jensen bends over to tie his boots. “It turns out to be like stop-motion animation. You'll eventually recognize what I've made.”

So Jared does, until he comes to the last frame [ _or so he thinks_ ] once he can see the completed object. “Wha's tha—? Is that some kind of raised cradle?”

“It is, but based on the frame work of a bassinet.” Jensen is done the right boot and shuffles back upright, scooting over to use his finger barely touching the LCD screen. “See...I put joints at the top and bottom so it'll rock. But you can roll it around to wherever you wanna sit with the 'pup'.”

“ _ohlove_...did you make this for yourself?” Jensen tilts his head in soft concern.

“nah...i's for Adrian and Milo.” Jensen wants to kill the issue, then rolls his hand around in mid-air. “Keep going. I've been creating quite a few pieces for the nursery. Or, well... _I was_.” He has to stop and correct his words with a minor change.

Jared stops touching the screen to stare at Jensen. “And Milo and I pooped all over your plans.”

“Hey...I'm willing to compromise.” Jensen smiles at Jared and tenderly caress the side of his face to assure he's fine. “I was dreading cleaning out that small bedroom. I haven't been in there in so long, an' it's packed. I'm afraid I'll find a dead body hidden somewhere.”

“hehehe...a pack member you forgot you had. Jen...” Jared doesn't like knowing that Jensen's beautiful work will be cluttered and shoved into a corner of Milo's bedroom. “...have you said _anything_? To Adrian or Milo?”

“No, I wanted it to be a surprise, but...I can work with this new plan.”Jensen makes a face that conveys that he's been thrown into a spin, but he can bounce back. “I just need you to help me.”

“Well, you shouldn't have to work around _us_ —a pregnant Omega has a tendency to wanna 'nest' on occasion.” Jared can see a slight furrow in Jensen's brow. “It's a freak need to move furniture around to make it look different and brand-new.”

Again, Jensen touches Jared's thigh beside him, letting him know that he's willing to adapt. “At least now we can do _something_ with that small bedroom. It could be made into your temporary room...until, well...I know you'll be _here_ , most of the time, but before we no longer have to keep this a secret.” He entwines his fingers then settles the bond between his knees. “You can't stay with Milo forever. You need your own space.”

“It feels like a waste.” Jared shakes his head to decline the offer—mainly because he truly doesn't mind the situation he has now. “I'm sure Milo won't mind and...if he has to have his own time with Adrian...”

“Oh, no...you're not bed-hopping or sleeping on couches.” Jensen pushes off the mattress, not even aware that Jared had been about to wrap an arm across his back. He's got this “parental” index finger poking in his Omega's face; he's getting to know Jared too well. “An' don't even think about loungers and big chairs with huge ottomans. It's my bed or your own.”

“mmm...yes, Alpha...” Jared bites down softly on his tongue, not sure he likes the tone Jensen is taking with him. It's not overly demanding; it's actually kind of adorably emphatic.

“Jus' look at the pictures, _please_...” Jensen swivels around to head to his closet—which had been open when he'd gone in to shower, but is closed now—and twists halfway to look beyond his shoulder to see Jared move a button-down plaid shirt from his right side to the left. Jared had anticipated Jensen needing the top shirt, and he had chosen wisely in matching colors without even realizing. As his Omega looks over each frame, Jensen keeps leaning on or brushing against Jared's legs as he's moved them to dangle to the floor. He has a tight ball of nerves in his gut—where he hates being complimented on his skills. It's why he has snapped at Jared, sounding like he's agitated. Jensen swivels quickly to meander over to the night stand to slide on his watch, pack ring and tuck in his wallet to his back pocket. He spares Jared a short glance. “So...the verdict? Is it too much? All the pieces? Should I only give half to not overwhelm the moment? Because...once I started designing and building, it was tough to stop. I figure...Milo will use it 'til the 'pup' grows out of that stage—by that time, maybe Chad'll... _what_?” Jensen notices too late that he's rambled on beyond any realm of calm; Jared will know how flustered he is about all of this.

Jared shrugs, sliding down off the bed to hand Jensen his phone back. “I dunno. I feel...sad for you.” He folds his forearms over his middle. “I think, in a very minuscule way, you were making this furniture for yourself—wishful thinking, right?” Jared reaches out with one hand to squeeze Jensen's arm. “Because even through each picture, I can tell you put every bit of yourself in the pieces.”

“I'm not...” Jensen has shame enough to bow his head, looking down at his phone. “I wasn't showing you to add to the pressure.”

“I know you weren't. You're doing a great job of keepin' your cool.” Jared smirks off the side of his mouth. “I can detect more with you.” He places a palm to Jensen's chest, fingers clenching at the t-shirt. “I'd love for you to be next in line for a 'pup'. Hell, I'd love to be the Omega who carries for you...” Jared has to stop talking as Jensen has swept him into a tight embrace.

“— _thank you_.” Jensen knew he didn't have to say or do much to convey how much the nursery furniture had meant to him—why it was important his plan go off without a hitch to gift it to Adrian and Milo. He closes his eyes to tuck his face away in the strong, broad shoulder. “While the idea of a 'pup' of my own is nice...I needed to have the perfect mate in order to make this possible.” As he rolls his bunched fists along Jared's back, Jensen draws backward to look at Jared. Being in his boots and Jared in bare feet nearly makes them the same height. “You're not changing my mind about you.”

Jared nods, dipping his head toward Jensen's face, his nose brushing against the rough cheek. “If my issues turn out to be real and manifest into us _not_ being capable of having a 'pup' of our own...I won't object to you finding a willing Beta.” He goes on, though Jensen is fidgety with his want of disagreeing, “I was born into an Omega pack mentality of surrogacy. I can do it, if it's our only option.”

“ _jesus_...it won't be.” Jensen pulls Jared back into his arms, holding tighter, if possible. “I'm not going to consider the thought. You _will_ overcome this...an' we _will_ be carrying in the next year, for _our own_ litter. That dream—vision—didn't make me feel like the life inside you was anything but completely ours.” As he talks, he's been leaning his head against Jared's dark hair, petting over the white V-neck t-shirt and tugging gently on the material.

“ _ssshhh-ssshhh, love_...” Jared cups the side of Jensen head in his right palm, then pushes his face forward, lips permanently glued to the skin as he presses a series of light, tiny kisses to Jensen's cheek. “...i's okay. We're talkin' 'bout a future that hasn't even happened. We're both feeling—” He starts to pull away, his hands coming out to yank on the open lapels of the button-down as he frowns and looks at Jensen gingerly. “—have you been feeling a little like you can't be away from me for too long?”

“Yes...” Jensen snatches Jared's hand that remains on his chest. “It's odd, but comforting.”

“It's gonna get worse over time, the more we don't—”

“— _mate_.” Jensen tries to catch hazel eyes as the dark head bows low. “Or I don't knot you.” He presses a quick kiss to the hand in his grip. “Yeah, had a feeling it might not be as easy of a choice to abstain.”

Jared lifts his chin to speak clearly and precise, like he's assured of what he'll be saying. “I don't think we'll be so bad as to physically be ill or...need to rip one another's clothes off to get inside the other's skin. I'm sure, since we weren't the typical jolt of fireworks and near violent sex-play, this closeness of holding one another, sharing personal space and body warmth...” He drops his head again as he softens his voice. “It'll carry us through until I can figure something out.”

Jensen closes his lids and sighs deeply. “Please don't coerce yourself into sex with me...not just to knot.”

“I won't. We'll just...” Jared takes one of Jensen's hands, then back-walks to the mattress and sits down. “—there's so many things out there—sexual scenarios that are great alternatives to those pack members who either can't or won't have sex—knot.” He's cradles the hand in both of his, the fingers of one petting the top of Jensen's hand. “I'm unaware of much, but I can read some newer texts or, uh...I don't know...” Jared opens his legs to plant his feet apart, then slowly draws Jensen closer. “...use my own imagination to devise a way I can arouse and fully please my Alpha, without skimping on my own pleasure.”

“... _ohgod_...” Jensen is rather intrigued how simple hand-holding can be so arousing, but it's really the way Jared bends over his hand and his fingers trace shapes. “Maybe I should call in—take the day off. Several days, maybe.” Jensen retakes a position beside Jared on the bed. “We'd be doing that anyway if we had mated and knotted, allowing for us to get used to one another or better acquainted.”

“Like you said, we got over the hardest part. We know each other.” Jared places the bond of their hands between their bodies, letting go in slow increments; he won't lift his head to look up at the green eyes gazing intently at him. “We're about to know the other better than we know ourselves. We'd cause suspicion if you took days off—even one. They'd wanna know why—not just your pack, but your job...maybe even your brother.” He softly chuckles as Jensen bends low and bumps his head on the rounded joint of his shoulder.

“ _Christ!_ I haven't considered what to tell my parents...or Josh and Mackenzie.” Jensen raises his head and touches Jared's face, curling fingers around the strong chin. “We need to clear your public record first. See if we can't get rid of the ' _red flag_ ', then find out how we can work this into you actually being in my pack without...mating. Maybe my father Alpha has some ideas.”

“Are you gonna tell him everything? Even about us?”

Jensen averts his head to stare straight ahead. “He and I talk openly, but not as honestly. I'll have to test the waters. I won't divulge much if he's punchy or pissy. I don't want him to get some negative idea 'bout you.”

“Tell him, if you have to, but don't...if it's clear he's not receptive to me.” Jared tugs Jensen's sleeve a little.

“He won't be able to sway me from you.” Jensen leans his chin and jaw on his own shoulder as he watches Jared closely. “I know who I want—need—and it's you. I think it always has been you.”

Jared soothes the back of his hand over Jensen's cheek, watching the long lashes close to brush pale, freckled skin. “Feels that way, doesn't it?”

==&&==&&==

Jensen feels like he should've left for work once stepping off the staircase landing, but he can hear the low rumbling chatter and specific noises from the kitchen. It's near 7:45am, a few of his pack members should be up. He doesn't know who, though, or even if Jared happened to slip into their conversation. All he thinks about is the coffee he scents in the air. He walks down the shorter hall, into the second entrance, grateful to see it's Steve and Chad, startled to notice this Omega up before noon.

“Mornin', Jen.” Steve gives off a warm smile. “Can I interest you in some breakfast?”

Jensen smirks, recalling the meal he had _early_ -early this morning with Jared. “nah, just coffee. I wanna get in a few morning hours at the workshop.” That reminded him, he had meant to check on Milo, since he'd heard Adrian leave a few minutes ago. He wanted to check out the “space” in Milo's room being considered for the 'pup's' nursery. “Who else is around?” Jensen already knew, but he didn't want to give away that he hadn't been to sleep since 3am. Plus, he's curious to where Jared had scampered off to so quickly.

“Sophia left for a staff meeting.” Steve is flittering around the kitchen, moving between the main counters and the breakfast island; he has a moist sponge in his hand to wipe the expensive marble down. “Adrian, as you know, always gets up way-too early for the damn carpool and, uhm...I think I heard Milo shuffling around upstairs. Hasn't come down yet, though.”

Chad's at the breakfast island, feeding his face with Steve's cooking. “You feelin' okay, Jensen?”

“yeah, I'm—better.” Jensen furrows his brow. “Why do you ask?” He makes his way over to the coffee pot, pulling down his travel mug.

Chad shrugs, taking another forkful of food. “Not used to not seeing you at our dinner table. Feels weird.”

“ ** _christ!_** It's one night out of...hundreds.” As he pours out the dark liquid, he's dragging over creamer and picking out sugar packets. “I can't be allowed to feel crappy _one_ time?”

“ _hey-hey_...all right.” Chad holds up one hand, palm out, in his defense. “It's just not the same, man...tha's all.”

Steve turns to say something more. “Oh, an' Jared—apparently, he's been up since _god knows when_.” He gestures with his hand toward the back door.

Chad is closely watchful of his lead Alpha's every move, strangely drawn to him because there's something _different_ about his demeanor, or his appearance, but he can't place what it is exactly. “Do you know anything 'bout what he's doing outside?”

Jensen wanders over to the back door with his coffee travel mug filled, steam rising out of the top. Through the screen he can see Jared in the distance, in his jeans and t-shirt, hammering wooden stakes into the ground. He's mapping out the “temple” on the grass. Then it looks as if he'll use the shovel leaning against the tree nearby to dig out the grass to expose fresh dirt. Oh, yeah...Jensen knows _exactly_ what his Omega is up to. But to protect Jared and all of their collective secrets, Jensen will feign confusion and concern. “No, I don't. The boy barely talks to me.” He turns with a confused look to his face as he shrugs nonchalantly. “Maybe it's for Milo and the 'pup', who knows with this ceremonial stuff. Did anyone _ask_ Jared?”

Chad shakes his head as he waves his hand around in mid-air. “I offered to stay home to help, but was told I'm not ' _allowed_ '. Some weird shit about spirits and energies. I don't know, soun's like he has to do this alone, for the time being... _whatever_ he's doing.” He can't decipher if Jensen knows anything or not.

“ah, well...I'm sure we'll find out soon. Or ** _I_** will—one of them will come to me today. I'll go check on Milo before I leave—maybe _he_ knows.” Jensen spares a glance at Chad. “Where're you off to? Someone schedule the studio this early?”

“Nope.”

Steve leans over the counter-top, bending an arm to rest his cheek on. “He's coming into the music store with me. I don't know why we never thought to offer him an opportunity. See if he likes working there. Just a trial run, nothing serious.”

“Good for you...an' Chad.” Jensen looks between the Beta and Omega, wondering if Chad had to be coerced or if this was a true interest. It could simply be an attempt for the two men to bond closer with Christian being gone. “I suppose it was a joint effort to think of this.”

“yeah, a little.” Steve shifts his head from side-to-side, then untucks one arm to brace it on the counter. “Chris has always wanted to find an employee who knows my job, in case I can't be there for some reason. My employees know Chad, since he comes in to rent equipment and instruments for recordings. It seemed like the perfect choice to make.”

“Cool. Sounds exciting.” Jensen peers at Chad. “How do _you_ feel?”

“huh?” Chad doesn't know how to take the question as he wrinkles his forehead in perplexity.

“You've had a lot going on—with Jared, dealing with some shit that I know you've buried on purpose.” Jensen shakes his head in remembrance of that night. “Hell, you made me ashamed of the lame-ass BS I've kept to myself.” He lowers his tone as he sees his words are clanging into the Omega's ears; he seems to be listening intently as he's quieted. “I know it can't be easy with Chris not around, to be able to work through everything, but...I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I'm proud of you.” Jensen looks to Steve and catches sight of the slow nod of “thanks” for saying the words out loud as lead Alpha of their pack. “I don't know that I agree with the way you went about certain things, but I'm Alpha...an' I won't even pretend to know your life. You're mated to one of my Alphas and a part of my pack, though I do feel some hurt...some betrayal...it's truly none of my fucking business until you make it my business. I just—” He's near enough now to clamp a hand on Chad's bony shoulder once he extends his arm. “—I want you to be okay again, to feel safe and loved within this family. I think you deserve a clean slate. I hope you, Chris and Steve can work together to rebuild your bonds.”

Chad nods his head, keeping his chin bowed, then he slid off the stool, stepping over to engulf Jensen in a tight hug. Jensen keeps his arms akimbo, not sure what the Omega is up to. When Jensen glances at Steve again, the Beta gestures that the Alpha should think about hugging back.

“...thank you, Alpha.” Chad speaks into Jensen's shoulder. “My one fear was letting you down, making you hate me.”

“Never, Chad.” It's weird how one simple word can change a person's emotions, if said in the right light. Jensen settles one arm around the Omega's back and pets tenderly. “You'll never have to think that with me.”

==&&==&&==

Jensen knocks on Milo's bedroom door and thinks he hears a very distant “ ** _Come in!_** ” yelled. When he opens the paneling, crossing the threshold, Milo's not in sight.

“ ** _Milo?! It's Jensen! You okay?!_** ” Jensen stands still, hands on hips.

“ _I'm fine...jus'—I'll be out in a minute._ ” The words are said from inside the bathroom.

Jensen moves so he can lean a hip on a bed post. He's close to the bathroom entrance in case Milo needs assistance. He hears the toilet flush and the sink faucet turn on. Eventually Milo wanders out, standing on his own two feet. He's wearing an unfamiliar robe with what looks to be like a woman's nightgown on.

Jensen has to expel a chuckle or burst. “You look...”

Milo glances down at himself. “— _stupid_? I know.” He does a small spin with some ridiculous posing, like he's in some fashion show. “It's actual ritual clothing that my old pack would wear. I can't believe I still fit into everything.” Milo pulls the thick material off his bare skin. “It's so damn comfortable too. I can't have anything across the belly—it irritates. So no shorts or pants for me, for a while.” He puts out a hand to warn Jensen. “I _am_ wearing low-cut underwear, so don't worry I'm gonna flash you.”

“I wasn't.” Jensen watches as the Omega slips by him to sit down on the bench at the end of the bed. “ _jesus_...is that all handmade stitching?” He turns Milo around to look over the designs on the back of the robe.

“yeah...by the Omegas in my old pack.” Milo sees his lead Alpha touch the gown, then admire the handiwork. “It's family emblems and pack symbols—some ancient, some traditional. A lot of it has to do with the specific ceremony it's worn for.” He takes off the robe to show the intricate stitchings on the gown's arms and along the top sleeves to the bottom hem. “It's mostly spiritual sayings, supposed to be sacred to keep the wearer safe and protected.”

“ ** _shit, man!_** ” Jensen feels terrible to scoff such creative talent. “Then I'm sorry for laughing. I'm just so used to seeing you in your jeans...your leather jacket and motorcycle boots.”

“yeah, well...” Milo chuckles deeply as he takes a seat on the cushioned bench, laying the robe across his lap. “...you prioritize differently when there's another life inside of you.”

Jensen knows he's not close to Milo, but he's certain the Omega won't be offended if he sits down next to him. “You look so much better than you did in the hospital.” He averts his head in mild shame with the shake of his head. “I never would've let you stay there the week. I jus'...”

Milo is the one who surrounds his arm at Jensen's back, then leans into the warm body. “ _heyhey_...me, too, man...me fuckin' too.” He doesn't know why—he's never intimately touched or caressed his lead Alpha, ever—but he starts to lightly scratch over the hunched back in a soothing manner. “I didn't think praying to any Omega gods and spiritual guides would stop the bleeding or the pain. And I was too scared, too ashamed to even let my brain wrap around moving one finger once I was in the clear.”

“I understand the ' _being scared_ ' part, but why feel ashamed?” Jensen frowns in curiosity. “Like it was your fault somehow?”

“The 'pup' reacts to me—what I do, what I feel. I can't remember what I had done or was doing days before to make the 'pup'...I didn't want to believe I wasn't at fault. I forget that he's alive in there, growing every day. By now, he's got a brain, maybe half-functioning but...they say some 'pups' simply form faster.” Now Milo is just leaning on Jensen by way of his arm, not even aware he's closer to his lead Alpha than he's ever been, yet it doesn't feel strange. “Maybe the songs we were singing him improved its brain power and he's ready to crawl out...but my body made me sick or ill to slow me down. I'm glad I was here, at home—with my pack.”

“Me, too.” Jensen reaches out with one hand, placing the palm on the thigh to give a hard squeeze, then he's back to dangling his hands between his knees. “An' I'm glad you're up and around, off full bed-rest, now minimal. But...I have a feeling we have Jared to ' _thank_ ' for swooping in and saving you the way we couldn't.” Even saying his Omega's name, without him in the room, causes his heart to do funny flips.

“yeah...I'm glad this brought he and I back together. I've missed him.” Milo is just talking on, not caring what he's saying, caught up in chatting about his brother Omega. “It's not been easy. I know I sound weird when I talk 'bout him—like I'm infatuated. But Jared's always been one of those people you look at and—I don't know—there's something radiating off him that make you wanna love and hug him...take care of him keep him safe. I'm closer to him than with any of my siblings.” He finally climbs off Jensen's back, watching the Alpha sit upright to lean backward on the foot-board of the bed-frame. “At times, I wish he were my real brother.”

“I do too.” Jensen is resting his elbows on the edge of the wood frame at the end of the bed. “Having him here...watching the way you are with him—I envy that close bond. Alphas don't...well, Alphas shouldn't bond like Betas or Omegas can and often do. Usually it's the old macho bullshit they keep trying to perpetuate.” He shakes his head sadly at how great bonds are missed because of these intentional pack separations. “But I've always believed there shouldn't be anything I can't do that any of my pack can. Excluding specifics...like an Omega being able to carry a 'pup'.”

Milo turns toward Jensen, drawing up a bent leg to rest between their bodies on the cushion. “Strange that you say that 'cuz Jared and I have the same mentality as Omegas. We both thought we'd be Beta—Alpha wasn't as appealing to us. Both devastated by learning we were Omega, but...we accepted the roles and ourselves. Now, I guess, we're trying to live our lives without having to conform who we are as men.” He leans his left elbow on the foot-board, hand is cupped around his forehead, soon he'll comb his fingers through his dark hair. “I was lucky when Adrian found me. I actually thought a Beta was trying to pick me up.” Milo catches Jensen's laugh, then the easy way he smiles when hearing about he and Adrian's fated “lovestory”. He's just happy someone is paying attention to his babbling chatter; he's been suffering some “cabin fever” lately. “I didn't scent Alpha on Adrian at all. Then, I don't know, he blew all my thoughts and assumptions out of the water. I knew the Alphas of my own pack, but I didn't like their—something about them feeling superior over me though they often allowed themselves to be on display during rituals with their Omegas and Betas. I was able to see Alphas out of my pack. My family market places were my first jobs. I hung out with Omegas and Betas—partying—and I was able to watch their Alphas. By the time Adrian came into my life, I just didn't know what I wanted.”

Jensen crosses his ankle over a knee to twist toward Milo so he can look at him directly. “He loves to tell me he ' _courted_ ' you.”

“It was no joke, Jen.” Milo presses a gentle hand on Jensen's arm. “The guy was seriously fucked, but head-over-heels for me. Hey, I liked it, but I also got embarrassed by it.” He covers his face with slight embarrassment, still after all these years. “My pack felt it was a little outlandish...like right out of a historical romance novel.”

“Adrian's cut from a different mold.” Jensen lifts a curious eyebrow to see if Milo will tell him something, or just a small clue. “I never know how to pin his old pack down as.”

“I don't know, either.” Milo shrugs one shoulder then stares down at the floor. “And I'm not sure he wants any of us to know. He's not prejudice or hateful toward other packs, but I do find he likes to march to the beat of his own drum.”

“He's exactly the kind of Alpha I want in my pack.” Jensen leans into Milo's personal space as if to whisper a secret to him, speaking from the side of his mouth. “I have no excuse for Chris. It's was only natural for him to gravitate my way since we'd been friends for so long.”

Milo chuckles with the shake of his head. “I love Christian. I think he and I would've been a cool match, had I not fallen for Adrian.” He's pretty much stayed clear of the other Alpha, especially when Chris and Adrian were butting heads; he hadn't wanted to choose sides, because he'd always go with his own Alpha. “Chris and Adrian are a lot alike. I think that's why they mashed heads so early on, for all those months.”

Jensen nodes his head in agreement, then clears his throat to start talking about why he's really here. “Okay, so...I hear you want to rearrange your bedroom so that you can have the 'pup' stay with you.”

“yeah. I hope tha's all right. It was mainly my idea, at first, but I want to eventually stick to the plans for the nursery because—once Chad gets his shit straight—we are going to need a room for the 'pups'.”

“I hadn't gotten any further than making lists in my head, then waiting for a weekend when Adrian and Chris could help me clear out the smaller bedroom.” Jensen is looking over the open spaces of Milo's bedroom, forgetting that it was one of the nicer, spacious bedrooms. He had intentionally done that for the Omegas of his pack, giving them the better bedrooms with an attached bath in between. “I kind of like the idea of you staying bonded until you feel you can ween him away. Are you sure you want the 'pup' right here?” Jensen folds his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow in question. “Soun's like a ton of sleepless nights.”

“hey, I get lonely when Adrian's not here with me. I'd like the roommate.” Milo chuckles along with Jensen's laugh. “I'd like it even more to be right beside my son, if he should need me. I have no idea what kind of 'pup' he'll be—fussy and loud or sleepy and quiet.” He drops his chin as if he's shy when admitting how much he loves his 'pup' before he's even out of the womb. “I jus' want him healthy and here, in my arms...”

Jensen has to look away or get too emotional with Milo's own feelings overflowing. “Agreed.” He clears his throat again, then gives a quick glance about the room, both sides, then behind him to the bed they've been leaning on. His brain is going to work in overtime to come out with how to redesign Milo's room, with the new furniture included. “When you do finally feel the need to move your furniture, come and get me. Even if I'm at work.” Jensen spares a tiny grin at the Omega, averting his gaze so as to not be found out as he tucks his hands between his thighs. “I'm a little eager to do all that I can for you and the 'pup'. After all, you're my first pack mother Omega...you're kind of special and irreplaceable for me.”

“You're kind of awesome yourself.” Milo's got a soft, and quite fond, look he sends toward his lead Alpha. “And, no...I don't mind that you're interested in Jared.”

Jensen is unsettled as he goes silent, then looks at Milo from the side of his eyes. “You need to stop with that shit. I don't like it when you read my thoughts.”

“ ** _sheesh!_** I wish.” Milo tenderly shoves at Jensen's shoulder, patting his chest lightly. “My life would be so much easier. No, man...where do you think Jared sleeps at night? He and I have been known to ' _pillow talk_ ' on occasion.”

“ _oh, god_...what did he tell you?” Jensen's curious as he peeks from between his fingers of the hand he swipes over his face.

“Enough.” Milo winks, but won't say much else. “What he _wants_ me to know. And I don't need to know much. I already knew you two were practically made for one another.”

“Well...I don't want to scare him away.” Jensen is talking with Milo like he had with Adrian—not admitting anything or even saying specific words, just letting them assume they knew what they wanted to think they knew. “I'm willing to take things slow— _anything_ he's willing to give me.”

Milo turns his head to bite down on his bottom lip. “yeah, I'm stumped to why he's so hesitative.” He brings his steady gaze back to Jensen's face to make sure he knows Jared's actions have nothing to do with the Alpha. “The old Jared—the one I grew up with—would've mated with you had you merely breathed on him. The way he is now...something's happened—mentally or physically to make him force himself to behave and not want a life that I know he's always wanted.” Milo gives a smile of reassurance. “I'm certain with some patience and perseverance...he'll make whatever happens worth your while.

“ _That_...is what I'm hoping for.” Jensen gives away a side smirk, which could mean two things; he'll let Milo decide how to take the reaction.

==&&==&&==

Jensen had found his “zone”. He had been working on one of his signature furniture pieces for the store, hand-sanding the intricate scroll-work he had finished cutting out, when he had glanced up he could swear he had seen through his prescription goggles that Jared was in his workshop.

“ _Jared_?” Jensen swipes a sweaty sawdust-covered forearmarm over his face.

“I hope you don't mind.” Jared launches off the wooden table he'd been leaning on as he watched his Alpha at work. “I know we didn't say anything this morning, but...I, uh...brought you lunch.” He points with his thumb over his shoulder. “I've put it in your office.”

“Come on. Follow me.” Jensen keeps his goggles on, walking ahead of Jared without looking backward.

Jared thinks he's pissed Jensen off because it appears like he's storming away in a fit of mild anger. Once they reach the office, and Jensen holds the door open for Jared, he's instantly apologetic, “...look, I'm sorry if I've...”

Jared doesn't get to finish as he's taken by the hand, spun around to bump chest walls with Jensen, then two strong, very familiar arms tighten around him. “ _god-damn_...I'm glad one of us had sense enough to cave.” Jensen isn't caring what he's covering his Omega with as he embraces Jared hard around the waist. Jared encloses his own arms about Jensen, and they both lean weakly against one another, like they keep each other upright. “I was trying to diligently work on this end table to eventually meet up with my usual lunch hour...call you and tell you I was coming home to eat.”

“mmm...this is a little better.” Jared rubs his face against Jensen's, his fingertips gently scratching over the back. “We won't be scrutinized for this kinda behavior, unless your employees in the workshop are gossip-hounds.”

Jensen buries his face in the side of Jared's neck, wishing they were somewhere else. “eh, don't think they are—hehehe—god, this feels...”

“— _good_?” Jared supplies the word as he moves them around so he can rest his backside on the ledge of the desk, keeping his Alpha in between the spread of his legs.

“— _an' right_. _You_ feel good and right. I'm not feeling like a stranger in my own skin.” Jensen backs away, head nuzzling Jared's cheek and jaw as he pulls upward. “Is it too much to ask if it's okay to kiss?” He extends a hand to caress over Jared's smooth skin; his thumbpad plays over the deepening dimples.

Jared uses an index finger to shape around the place he's denying Jensen. “We should keep it to anywhere on the face and body—except lips. Lips are—”

“ _What_?” Jensen snorts out a laugh as he removes his goggles, then uses the bottom hem of his button-down to wipe at his face. “You look like you're about to explode.”

Jared swallows hard at being shown a smidge of Jensen's bare chest in a flash, then he pouts when the shirt re-covers the torso. “For me...I guess because I've only ever been with myself, and then the other Omegas during my heats as a 'cub'...” When he talks about “kissing”, his gaze automatically goes to Jensen's lips, because the Alpha loves to bite at each one, alternating top and bottom. “...kisses on lips have become an erogenous zone for me.”

“ _damn_...like a facial G-spot?” Jensen can't help but reach out and use his thumb to trace under Jared's bottom lip, playing at the bow, then running down the chin.

“More like...kiss me an' I probably won't stop, then we'll never get me under control and the moment will be lost where we promised that sex and knotting _weren't_ high priorities.” Jared looks at Jensen through a haze of his own instant euphoria—it had been of _not_ being around his Alpha, now he's tamed a bit and slightly heady from being around Jensen. “And it won't matter that I can't get hard, while you're inside me, which means I won't orgasm before, during or after you—I can't let either of us down like that.” He glances behind him to make sure he's not gonna clumsily knock things off Jensen's desk. “Not for our first time together.”

“Have you ever tried, though?” Jensen wanders over to the small half-bath to wash his hands, shake out his button-down. He keeps talking through the open doorway at Jared. “I mean, ever since you knew this about your own body...have you been with anyone else to see if this was truly the case?”

Jared picks up the lengthy name-plate on Jensen's desk—it says “ **Jensen Ross Ackles** ” and he smiles at finding out his Alpha's middle name—such a little thing but it means a helluva lot to him. “I'm not some bitch-in-heat who only wants to be knotted.”

“ _whoawhoa_...” Jensen comes out of the bath with one hand outward as he wipes his face of moisture with a hand towel. “I'm nowhere near saying that.”

“Sex for me isn't about the quick release or the feel of fullness with a knotted cock deep inside me.” Jared puts back the name plate, then starts fiddling with other items on the desktop. “I'm kind of old-fashioned where I need to like or tolerate the Alpha to feel attraction or attractive.”

Jensen wanders around the end of his desk so he can see Jared's averted face. “So you've never...”

“No.” Jared shakes his head, then snorts a snicker. “No time and...no Alpha I'd honor by letting them be my first—and only.”

“ _jesus_...” Jensen leans on his knuckles, splaying his arms. “I've never been into kinks...not sure I wanted to be someone's _first_.”

“I'm not simply talking about sex here, Jen.” Jared moves a few things so he can draw up his leg and not knock everything to the floor. “I mean, even being in bed with an Alpha. Being playfully intimate—everything I've done with you. I've never...”

“I know.” Jensen laughs as he holds out both hands, palms out to calm Jared down. “I'm very aware of that fact. Didn't know I'd love it so much.”

“You don't feel pressured or frustrated?” Jared raises both dark eyebrows.

“No. Why would I? You know a lot about sex and intimacy...you just don't know it _personally_. We have a blank canvas to work with.”

Jared sighs heavily, and then he slowly lifts his gaze to Jensen's face as if he's thought a while about a few things. “I'm gonna know you're highly aroused—bad enough where you need to fuck to release. If you feel it hit early, come and find me.”

Jensen wants to sputter out a laugh, because these feelings between them feel pretty powerful and potent. He furrows his brow as he crosses his arms and leans his pelvis against the edge of his desk. “Why?”

“Because...I'm an Omega who doesn't shirk on his Alpha's needs...wants or desires.” Jared has to look away as he feels a smile slip over his mouth. “I think I might have a way we can cheat this ' _take the knot_ ' theory that it has to be _that exact way_ for us to be truly mated.”

Slowly, Jensen is making his way back around to the front of his desk where Jared sits. His hip trails along the edge of the shape to the wood. “You do realize I'm a typical horny Alpha?” One hand reaches out to grasp the material of Jared's coat in a fist, dragging him close. “There's not a lot of minutes that go by where my mind _doesn't_ take a pervy swan-dive.”

“oh, trust me, _love_.” Jared sweetly taps the hand on his body. “This one will feel extreme and intense. You've staked your claim—you have your Omega who lives in your house and is around you, but you've not mated or knotted in the eyes of pack life or culture.” He's attempting to explain as easily as he can that certain sexual feelings may hit or strike them at any time, and they truly need to be there for the other—or at least he's making it known he'll be there for Jensen. “You'll scent me—even I won't know it until you come to me. Once I'm near you, I'll _know_...then we can take care of you.”

Jensen moves his fist up to now grab at the coat's collar, then pretends to fix the material—really he just wants to touch and caress Jared, play in his hair. “While I love the idea of you—my Omega—taking care of me, I'm not leaving you to seek out my own pleasure.”

“... _ohlove_...I'll find my ecstasy...my rapture within yours.” Jared shuts his eyes at the sensations of Jensen's touch, the fingers fleeting over his scalp. “Our bond is strong. My feelings for you are growing every day—possibly each minute longer we're together.” He's letting his head fall forward to Jensen's chest wall. “I'm gonna feel everything you do...or sense it long enough to have my own reaction to.”

“... _god_...I kinda want it to be here already.” Jensen holds Jared's head to his body, kissing the top of the dark hair. “Are you leaving me alone to eat and heading out?”

“No.” Jared lifts his hands to grasp the material of the t-shirt, his hands crawling up the torso. “I'll stay with you while you enjoy the food, then I want you to take me to the 'pup's' nursery furniture.” He's trying to avert his head as Jensen keeps nibbling hungrily at his neck and around to the back of his nape. “I wanna see it for my own eyes—maybe take some measurements.”

Jensen tips Jared's face up with a soft scrape under his chin, getting hazel eyes to look up at him. “Don't you dare do a thing without any of us. All my Alphas and Steve...hell, even Chad might be useful. Don't do it by yourselves and don't let Milo lift a damn finger.”

“Eat up, Alpha...” Jared snatches a warm fry, holding its limpness out to Jensen's mouth. “...or your food'll grow cold.”

==&&==&&==

 **TBC...**


	14. Chapter 14

Jensen returns to the storage-house to find Jared hanging his larger frame over the handmade crib. He's resting elbows on the ledge and staring into the empty flat-board like he can see a 'pup' already there. Jensen is trying to forget what Jared did back in his office that has intrigued him beyond all comprehension. While he had been eating his lunch, Jared had taken off his coat, then wandered over to the hook along the wall where Jensen kept a collection of plaid button-downs and several different jackets, with one tacky denim jumpsuit for bigger projects that required him to “get messy”. Jared simply traded his own coat for one of Jensen's—he never put the jacket on—and began carrying the jacket around in one hand. Jensen couldn't see complaining or making a huge deal, because Jared had given over his own coat, so it wasn't like Jensen lost his most favoritest jacket ever.

Now the charcoal denim is draped in a corner of the crib.

Jensen sidles in beside Jared, his right hand slipping under Jared's shirt hem and caresses bare skin. Where he would've just placed his chin on Jared's shoulder, now he went in to nudge and nip at the stretch of neck. “...please, don't be sad...I'll end up following you back home.”

“I'm not sad.” Jared leans into Jensen's head. “Not now. I feel like...” He starts to talk with one hand. “I can sense that though this stuff wasn't easy to make, you still did it—fully intending to give the pieces to Milo. Each one is...it's like this gradual acceptance.” Jared doesn't know how to deal with feeling these older emotions of Jensen's, because they mirror his own of so long ago—it's a level of melancholy he's never wanted to revisit. “I only assume it's because you finally came to some conclusion that if mating happened for you, then you'd work on it. But if it didn't, that was okay too.”

“I could've given up.” Jensen nods his head in agreement. He always says he's over those feelings, but in reality, he knows they merely lay under the surface. “I kept hearing these disapproving voices in my head, from my family...my old pack. My parents...from Josh, Mack...my mothers—everybody expecting something out of me I knew I couldn't give right away.” He pokes two fingers into the side of his temple. “Not until I got it right in my head.”

Jared shapes his hands around the crib's design, then separates from Jensen's side to wander around to caress the other objects with a lover's care. “These pieces are gorgeous and it'll be clear what they're intended to convey.” He stops every couple of seconds to twist around and look at his Alpha. “Do you _always_ work like _this_...with your heart wide open and feelings laid bare?”

“I don't know. I guess I do to a point.” It's eerie that someone who had been a complete stranger to Jensen weeks ago talks as if they've known one another for years. “I think about my own memories or I, uhm...the design of the furniture reminds me of something from my past.”

“It's why everything you make sells.” Jared makes it a point to smile with pride. “You put all that you are into each piece.”

“mmm...” Jensen tentatively begins to trail behind Jared, unsure where he plans on going or when he'll stop walking around the storage area. “...sounds exactly like someone else I know.”

“eh...yours is more tangible.” Jared takes a seat on a rocking chair—an item he knows Milo will love more than any of the pieces. He knows because he loves it already, and he wants one of his own someday. “I can be here, touch the crib ledge...or the bassinet-thingie...or _this_...” He caresses the armrests underneath his hands, fingertips are tracing the trademark scroll-work Jensen had created for every piece of furniture to make it cohesive. “—and feel _your_ presence...an essence imprint left behind.” Jared lays back on the headrest, pushing off the floor with his feet. “I have no idea how much of an impact I make. Whether it lingers after I'm gone or I...” He can tell he's irked his Alpha in some manner, now he's curious. “ _What_? Am I wrong?”

With his right foot, Jensen hooks a work-stool on wheels over so he can sit, but also so he can roll closer to Jared. “There is no doubt in my mind a pack is significantly changed by your guidance. I see it in my own. Look at Chad...never thought I'd crack into that kid, get him to tell us about his past, what kept him from...maturing.” He catapults himself across the floor, playfully banging into Jared's huge knees, so he can lean into Jared's personal space. His hands reach to grab for the rounded ends of the armrests, then slide along the sweeping curved shapes. “Now Milo and his 'pup'...you, _literally_ , saved both of their lives. Granted, it was probably because you'd never live with yourself letting a brother Omega die, but...you work tiny miracles and you _do_ change lives.” Each time Jared gently rocks forward, Jensen tries to stop the motion. “You're changing mine as we sit here.”

Jared sits forward, causing the rocker to pitch at an angled tilt to nudge his head into Jensen's, meshing their foreheads. “There's ' _hope_ ' in this room, around these nursery items.” He's latching onto Jensen's outer thighs, attempting to stop him from rolling away. Jared spreads his legs wider to accommodate. “You _will_ be using it one day for your own 'pup', love...no matter how, I'm gonna be the one who makes that come true for you.”

“I must've done something right to deserve you.” Green eyes gaze firmly with sincere affection into hazel.

“I think we both have paid our dues.” Jared lifts his hands to cup both sides of Jensen's face; his thumbs scrape over the rough stubble that's thickened over a few hours. “We've sacrificed and suffered long enough to earn these moments.”

“Stay a little longer.” Jensen leans his cheeks into each palm, alternating the motion. “Watch me work in the shop.”

“I'll stay until I feel you're locked in some ' _zone_ ' again.” Jared would love to stay as long as his Alpha will let him.

Jensen takes one of Jared's hands, doing that motion he always sees Jared do where he sandwiches two hands between one of his own. “I should think about working from home. There's space for me to build a workshop. My father Alpha has one on his property. It's where I learned how to build and repair furniture growing up.”

“Yes. Think 'bout it.” Jared pats his free hand on Jensen's knee. “But I assume your brother still needs you to come into the store for those days he can't be there.”

Jensen leans forward, elbows on his knees, danging their bond between his thighs. “yeah, well...maybe it's time I hung up _that_ ' _hat_ ' for good.”

Jared can now hear a different truth of Jensen's intentions for his future in this carpentry career he's chosen. “...oh, you meant—you actually want to build your own furniture, work out of the house from your own company...”

“Is it stupid to think I'd be all right?” Jensen lifts an eyebrow to look up at Jared with serious doubts and concern on his face. “I'd—I'm their fuckin' lead Alpha. I have to make more money than my pack members so I can keep a roof over their heads and food in the fridge. I know they contribute their shares, but...”

Jared stops Jensen from talking, dropping his other hand on top of Jensen's. “How long have you been wanting _this_?”

“Awhile.” Jensen's never quite sure why he's been afraid to say this goal of his out loud, but it's safe in Jared's keeping—he knows his Omega won't go babbling his secrets to anyone else. “I think I had this idea I'd know for certain once other issues in my life settled and I could clear my head.”

“So... _the pack_ doesn't even know _this_?” Jared inches backward to rest on the curved rungs of the rocking chair. He's gone back to only offering out one of his hands to Jensen.

“They know I'm not a businessman. That I hate doing things as a ' _Boss_ '. They know I love carpentry and that I've built some of the furniture in the house.”

Jared pauses in a half-rocking motion, stunned to have figured out why only one room in that house feels good to him. “The living room?...that's stuff _you_ 've made?”

Jensen slowly nods his head, chin bowed in slight shyness. “Older things. We thought it made the room look ' _homey_ '...' _lived-in_ '...less uptight than the rest of the house.” He gives a small smile at the memory. It's the one room that doesn't mesh well with the opulence of the rest of the home. Jensen lets a few thoughts ramble on in his brain. “ _wait-wait_...you said the house has _no center_ and it felt _suffocating_ in different places. You felt all of that from who's built the house, like, with me and this nursery furniture?”

“Here's the difference...” Jared simply stares directly at Jensen with a tiny grin spreading over his lips. “... _you_ made everything from scratch _with your bare hands_. Your house, though beautiful and freakin' huge, was _designed by one, but manufactured by many_.” In mid-air, he rolls his hand around as if to show an imaginary image of the house to his left. “The house gives off no ' _aura_ '. I know that's dumb to say, because it's not a _living_ entity, but even the _non-living_ can take on the persona or the ' _soul_ ' of a—whomever had a hand in making the object.”

“Is there any way to change that?” Jensen furrows his brow in curiosity. “Make the house—I don't know—gain its soul back?”

Jared tugs his hand back to his lap. “You'd need spiritual guides more powerful than I. They would...invade the house, take over the spaces and disrupt the pack's daily routine. It would be as if you'd have to send everyone away and put a tent over to 'bomb' for termites.”

Jensen lets Jared go, without touching or caressing him for a brief time. He only does it now so they both don't feel the dull aches or the sharp pangs of agony of not being near one another. “This is why you find it easier—less invasive—to build the temple outdoors?”

“uh, yeah...pretty much.” Jared gives off a sad smile, not sure he likes being “figured out” so easily. It's something he's going to have to get accustomed to, with an Alpha who can understand him like no one else has been able to.

“Is it imperative we build the temple _now..._ when Chad's heat is so close?” The minute he's uttered the words, Jensen can detect he's walking on shaky ground—like he's questioning his Omega's choices. “There's no way we could use Milo's room, or my room, and recreate what we'd find in an Omega Circle?”

Jared averts his head in mild frustration. He knew his ideas and thoughts as a spiritual guide would one day be traded in for something he'd have to compromise his usual techniques with; he had no idea it would be with his own Alpha. “You're cutting too many corners, but it can be done.” Jared doesn't turn his head, only twists his gaze back toward Jensen, like he's side-eying him, treading softly as not to offend. “You want the pack to make a decision as a whole? Either about the temple or invading the entire house?”

“I'm not saying ' _no_ ' to the temple.” Jensen isn't, but then again he doesn't know why he's so hesitant about taking this kind of step forward. “I'm just—say we built the temple and then, I don't know, some of them learn we could've doused the house an'...”

Jared narrows his eyes, nodding his head very slowly as he's coming to a genuine understanding that not even Jensen is aware of. “You've never made a decision as lead Alpha without them.”

Jensen glances down, one hand rubbing into the palm of the other. “Never. I don't want to disappoint or anger them or even...make them consider leaving.” He tries to sit up straighter, to show a bit of confidence in what he's saying. He's never sounded more weak to his own ears as he does in stating these words out loud. “If I don't let them know what's going on, I know I'll catch hell for it later.”

“Okay.” Jared holds out a hand to ward off more of an excuse. “I was only taking everyone into consideration. The temple seemed less— _never mind_.” He stands, shoving the rocking chair back, then he takes off to wander over to the crib and grab Jensen's jacket.

“No. Not never mind.” Jensen not only rolls over, on the stool, he spins it around to stop Jared from exiting in a huff. “It sounds like I'm saying ' _no_ ', but I'm not. Trust me. I'd pick the temple too, but...I want their opinions and input.”

“It's okay. I understand.” Jared smiles as he slips arms into the sleeves, adjusting the extra-large jacket over his torso and then walks off in silence.

“ _eh...”_ Jensen curls the fingers of one hand around the wooden bars of the crib. _“...then why do I feel like I jus' took two steps backward?_ ”

==&&==&&==

Milo leans over the lip of the tub in Jensen's bathroom, swirling his hands round in the water. He's trying to check the temperature before he puts one foot in. He stands to slip off his Omega Circle robe, and swing around to dunk his legs in...as his nude body stands in profile, he doesn't realize that he's not alone.

“ _...I think there's very few things in life that take my breath away..._ ”

Milo closes his lids, letting that particular breathy low timber wash over his frame. He bows his head, taking a seat on the porcelain ledge and attempts to hide his nakedness.

“... _you_ -like _this_...being extremely high on my list...” Adrian is making his way over, playing with one of his cuffs to his silk-blend button-down; one is already undone, draped open to flap over a curled hand. He's already slipped out of loafers and silk socks; he stands in bare feet on tiled flooring.

Milo turns to look at his Alpha with a dark eyebrow raised. “How the fuck did you get home so fast?” He had just called Adrian a mere ten minutes ago.

“I was out for my lunch. I had them drop me off.” Adrian wanders close enough where he can yank on Milo's hand to pull him over.

“ _Dri, don't..._ ” Milo is shaking his head, but allowing himself to be tugged upright to his feet—no matter how wobbly his legs might be. He knows what Adrian will do the minute he drops to one knee and two hands come out to span his hips. The dark inky black hair brushes and rubs over the under-curve of the protruding belly, hands are now coming around to shape the pale, dark-haired upper thighs as the face lowers to the hardening cock length emerging from the bed of darker pubes. The lips suck at the middle of the stalk, then lick with tongue extended to the tip; hands are now cupping the well-rounded ass cheeks and pushing Milo closer.

Milo wavers, opening and shutting his eyes as he reaches out to grip broad shoulders. It's been too long since he's been taken in this manner and he's heady with an intense shock of pleasure. Once he steadies himself, he starts soothing down the shape of the shoulders' bones, cupping the nape to slide fingers into the bluntly cut hair. He's tempted to shove the back of the head to increase the chances of a blow-job, but Adrian is thinking ahead, doing a good job of swallowing his dick whole, gagging slightly, then bobbing up and down forcing Milo to suck in his hurried breathes.

Milo's too overstimulated and getting hornier by the second, knowing any minute he'll come quick. “ _...Dri-Dri...babe—stopstop...please..._ ”

Adrian slowly lets the thickness slip out, saliva caking both the sensitive heated skin and the circumference around his swollen mouth. He wipes one of his open cuffs across his lips, standing as he draws hands up his Omega's sides, then down over his curved back. “...you try running every red light in town when your husband calls to request getting home quick to fuck him...” Adrian dives in for the side of Milo's pale throat, loving how the head averts to allow him the room to bite and nibble to his content.

“mmm...you left work to come fuck me...” Milo secures his arms around Adrian's shoulders, leaning into the dark head of hair, silky strands soft against his rough cheek. “I was only expecting you to leave on time, instead of staying your usual 14-16hrs.”

“eh, I could leave an' come back later...” Adrian starts to pretend to pull away, loving how much harder Milo starts to hold onto him, doing his own biting and nipping.

“Don't you fuckin' dare bail on me, Alpha...” One hand forcibly latches on the trouser's waistband. Milo lifts his chin upward, dark eyes looking down into his Alpha's face. “Don' disobey me—you know how moody I can get if I don't get my way.” He shapes a hand around one side of Adrian's head, thumb across the underside of the chin. Adrian has always allowed him every bit of leeway to be as demanding and forceful as an Alpha could be.

“I like it.” Adrian tries to turn his head to bite at, or lick, the hand and fingers on his face. “I like my Omega when he's in control, because I can show him how much he means to me...” He tilts into the caresses, never knowing what he's in for when he's with his Omega. “...how I can't live without him.”

“hehehe...you call'd me ' _husband_ '.” Milo shakes his head as he softly snickers. “You're so adorable when you're being one sexy-ass gentleman...” He yanks Adrian's head close, mouth parted and mere inches from his Alpha's lips. “...so courteous and polite.”

“Well, technically, aren't you? My ' _husband_ '?” Adrian lifts a lone eyebrow in question; it's rhetorical and he knows Milo won't answer him anyway. “In every sense of the word, we _are_ married. But in pack life, we call it ' _mated_ '.” He bows chin to chest in silent fury. “I feel a bit guilty how easy and free we have it than our human brothers do, who still fight for what some of us take for granted tha's always been ours to have.”

“mmm—I love my beautiful gay marriage activist.” Milo sniffs along Adrian's neck and under his collar. “...you had a meeting with humans...” He can get ridiculously jealous when he knows his Alpha had been around other men, especially when they're human and in power.

“yeah...it was a combo lunch-and-meeting.” Adrian can't stop touching Milo's bare skin; he's kept his head bent, watching his fingers play over the delicate paleness he's not seen in months. “I really wasn't supposed to be there, but my boss...he kinda hand-picked a few brokers who help'd secure the Japan deal.” He swallows with some difficulty as he notices the hardness that occasionally brushes against his trousers, leaking precome against the expensive material. He hardly cares his suit is probably being ruined—again. “I was one of them.”

Milo's thumbpad plays over Adrian's parted mouth, fingers now sliding into the dark strands to tug on the scalp and pull the head backward. “—how lucky for you.”

“For _us_.” Adrian gasps out as he looks at Milo under lowered lashes, rolling his eyes in the back of his head. “I don't know how 'luck' factors in—who knows.” He pulls back from the tight grip in his hair, watching his hands slide up the torso to slide over the upper chest. He's tempted to taste the dusky pert nipples popping out at him; he licks his lips, biting his bottom lip. “It could lead to an upgrade in my office or maybe even the salary I make yearly. I'm hoping it's the latter; I'm too attached to my current office.”

Milo feels the waves of affection for his Alpha spiral around in him; he's no longer wanting to be dominant, but equal and...tender and loving. He hooks his left arm around Adrian's neck, hand gripping the column so he can lift a leg as if to want to climb over his Alpha's desirable body—still clothed, but half-undressed. “You're such a sentimental fool.” Milo's other hand grasps the silk-blend material of the shirt, over the upper breast bone, not caring about undoing buttons; he pulls the material to somehow gently rip the shirt off. “I mention the inkling months ago that I thought we got pregnant that afternoon on that oh-so-comfy couch of yours, an' since then—”

Even talking about past sexual couplings sends them into an overdrive of sensations.

Adrian hurriedly goes to unbutton his shirt before Milo mangles another one. They don't come cheap. “We both knew it, didn't we? I'd never come that much or so—hard, so fast and... _gawd_...” Just being near his Omega is spiraling Adrian out of control.

Milo's hands drop to work on undoing the leather belt, then unhinging the trousers to eventually slide the zipper down and expose his Alpha's naked body. “We stayed knotted almost two hours straight— _oh, yeah, I remember_.” He chuckles deeply at Adrian trying to jog his memory—like he could ever forget. “Even after you left and let me lay there...my legs were still unstable when I tried to leave an hour later.”

“ _jesus_...I wish we could do that all over again—keep that feeling an' momentum each time.” With button-down off and under-t-shirt piled onto the floor, Adrian watches his trousers fall to his bare feet on the tile. “I'm—I'm already sure that we _shouldn't_ knot this time...” His Omega is attempting to crouch in order to lower his tight boxer briefs. The second they're off and sliding down his thighs and calves, it's very clear how hard Adrian is and close to being unable to prevent his knot from forming. “...uh, but if it's what you _need_ , I'll think about it. I'm not hurting you, or the 'pup' for my own pleasure.”

Milo is aware of what his Alpha's body is doing. He has a “plan” in place, so there's no need to worry Adrian any further. “I don't even know what I'm ready for. I think I'll know once we start, like I usually do.”

“So...” Adrian swivels his head to look at the steaming water in the bathtub. They've never fucked in water before, nor have they knotted since reconnecting in these last few weeks. “...it'll be better—more comfortable—in the bath for you?”

Milo soothes over Adrian's shoulders and lower back as he stands behind him; he pushes his belly into the curve of the spine to make his Alpha aware he's near. “nah, I was trying to get ready for you, calm the 'pup' 'cuz I know once I get caught up in the moment...I'm not sure I'll think of him, only myself...an' you—us.” He attempts to wrap his arms around Adrian, without squishing their 'pup' between them; it's tough but Milo manages it by turning slightly to the side in one direction. Milo lets his hands trail up and down Adrian's bare chest, tugging and flicking at pert nipples and allowing Adrian to arc himself in a surge of wild pleasure coursing through his body.

“You're too good to me.” Adrian can almost lay his head back on Milo's shoulder, leaning wearily against Milo behind him; he doesn't want to crush the 'pup', so he maintains his steady stance on the floor. He grabs for Milo's hands before they go lower along his body, toward his protruding erection. “Am I simply lucky you always want what I want or do you talk yourself into these situations because you anticipate what I need before I do?”

Milo's back to feeling heat and want, needing to dominate as he tenderly bites at his Alpha's neck, then slides up the side of his face to nuzzle hair. '“I'm good at being an Omega for my Alpha, but...see, I love my Alpha to pieces and I happen to crave his body—his cock—at the oddest time.”

Adrian shakes his head, turns and then helps Milo step into the tub, climbing in after; he takes his usual seat on the small ledge underwater. Milo remains in the center, making sure he stays under the waterline. He floats over, fixing his legs so he arrives straddling his Alpha's lap. The second Milo brushes Adrian's skin he knows he has to make a quick decision. He rises up, reaching behind to gently guide the tip into his slickened hole. “ _...I want you to knot me._ ”

“...Mi'o, no...c'mon...we haven't even—”

“I know what I need. More importantly,” Milo cups his Alpha's face, “it's been more than six months since we've come close to _this_ —I think we both need _this_.”

Adrian has a stronghold of the wide hips. “Take it slow. Don' rush. We have all the time in the world to— _ohgoodgawd...fuuuccckkk me..._ ” He doesn't expect the canal to be extra-tight and near-to-volcanic burning. “...Mi'o, baby...don'...” Adrian should've known better that he couldn't stop his Omega once he's got him right where he's wanted him all along.

Milo growls low then changes into a soft purr as he nudges Adrian's dark hair. “Not only was I wet for you but it—it felt swollen, like I had to be filled and stretched...” He reaches out for leverage, behind Adrian's head, in order to ease his bottom the rest of the way down. He pauses right at the beginning of the bulbous knot. “...gimme a sec...don' wanna cause either of us pain.”

“...take your time...” Adrian brings Milo's face down to his lips. “—love you—so fuckin' much...”

“I do too, Dri—I do too... ** _oh fuck!_** ” Milo drops inch by slow inch as he feels the stretch of his hole spread wider, then it's a slicker slide of the knot fully encased inside him. “ _...ohjesusjesusjesus...unghhh...don'move-pleasedon'move..._ ” His hands shake, fluttering to latch onto Adrian's shoulders, then the flexing upper biceps.

“Not movin'. You set the pace, I'll follow.” Adrian is caught between his own ecstasy and watching Milo's reaction. He notices a slight lift to a corner of Milo's top lip. “What? Wha's going on?” His darkening gaze drops down to Milo's belly.

“... _he's moving_...the 'pup's' none-too-pleased—hehehe...” Milo offers out his neck to Adrian, hooking both of his arms around the strong shoulders to latch onto his Alpha for the ride on the sensation.

“What is he—? Is he kickin'...jus' movin'? _What_?”

“...ju's calm down...close your eyes...” Milo pulls backward to place his hands on Adrian's neck, then merges their brows. “Close your eyes an' concentrate on me... _feel me_... _feel our son_...”

Adrian follows every single one of Milo's directions and...it starts out in his mind where he pictures himself having switched roles with his Omega. He feels heavy and weightless...he feels movement and stillness...he feels warmth and patches of light, then the muffled sounds of a steady heartbeat. He can't tell who it is—Milo, him or their 'pup'. Adrian doesn't know what's going on but he's hitting a euphoric peak he never thought possible. He feels deep love, unending loyalty and genuine respect; he realizes as times passes incrementally that Milo is giving him a rare gift. Milo is allowing him to feel and hear—maybe, eventually to see their 'pup'. It's amazing to him the capacity his Omega has to never stop surpassing how truly wonderful and thoughtful he is.

Adrian grabs the wrists and pulls away from Milo's forehead. “...you fuckin' humble me...you're incredible...” He lifts up the corner of his own mouth in a smirk. “How long have you been planning _this_?” It's tough to realize that there's always going to be someone there for him, always willing to satisfy and fulfill his needs, to take care of him, to love him...he'll never be alone as long as Milo is here.

Milo shakes his head; he's not going to admit he can be that sickeningly sweet for anyone—especially not his Alpha. “I got to thinking—'cuz I have nothin' but time to think—I knew right when I met you, you were my Alpha.” But for Adrian, every once in a while, he lets a sweetness slip through the cracks. “Touching you, like this, allowed me to ' _see_ ' I was right and kissing you confirmed it even more.”

Adrian closes his eyes, embracing Milo tighter to his chest and merging their heartbeats. “Can't believe I almost didn't choose the right mate.”

Milo loves it when they share their story together, letting the other know what was going on when they weren't aware. “My father Alpha chewed our lead Alpha a new asshole for luring you poor unmated prospects in with false hope. I was so difficult to match, uncooperative, stubborn—you name it.” It stutters Milo's heart and his breathing to have some idea of being with any other Alpha that had been hand-picked for him. “It would've taken something as sneaky as using a poor unsuspecting Omega as a decoy—just to make me seem more appealing.”

“I saw a couple of your heats on my own, so I knew your scent. I wasn't fooled for long.”

Milo buries his flushed face away in the side of Adrian's throat. “I'm pleased it was you that figured it all out. I'm lucky you didn't despise me once you found who I really was.”

“I could tell you didn't know what had gone on behind your back. You were innocent.” There is a glorious weightless heaviness that Adrian feels with Milo laying on top of him in this position, with his cock deeply embedding inside his Omega. If he was quiet and not-moving, he could probably hear and feel that third heartbeat. “I think I began to fall for you when you nearly went to attack your lead Alpha. Not so much your actions, but your words. How you stood up for yourself—and for me, defending me—always.”

“yes, _always_.” Milo trails his nailbeds down the bare skin on Adrian's chest, then down his ribcage to almost reach the hips. “You got me outta that pack an' on to having a good life I could only dream about. I wasn't oppressed as much as smothered and babied. I wanted to be left alone—allowed to mate when I god-damn felt like it.”

“Have any regrets?” Adrian fidgets his one shoulder where Milo lays to get him to lift his head.

Milo does, but then he's pushing his cheek and jawline against Adrian's brow, then the dark hairline to sift fingers over the scalp to grip the strands. “Only that we never tell _this_ side of our mating to the pack—not even Jensen.”

“I don't think it's important, just confuses things.” After soothing his hands up and down Milo's curved back, he sends his fingers down and around the spread ass cheeks, slipping along the crease to play at the tight, immovable connection of their bodies. “Our story already sounds unreal. I know you weren't the happiest Omega before we mated and we had our knotting ceremony.”

“No.” Milo doesn't shake his head because he thinks that will add some unnecessary motion rather than stating the words in a genuine voice of love, steady and strong as he holds onto his Alpha. “I have absolutely no regrets. Well, maybe I feel like we shoulda carried sooner—not waited when I was older. Younger mothers tend to have healthier 'pups'.”

Adrian's trying to tilt his back far enough to look into Milo's eyes. “Don't you dare shoulder any blame for what happened. You're still young, and healthy. We can't predict the future or control the world around us...” He slides a hand upward to caress the side of Milo's stomach laying against his abdomen. “...or the micro-world within you.”

“Do you wanna feel him som'more?” Milo goes to sit upright, but he also shifts and moves slightly along the engorged cock and squeezes the knot a bit.

“No, Mi'o...” Adrian catches his breath, then releases on a slow exhale as he grabs onto his Omega's wide hips, prepared to guide him. “...though I am ready to feel more of _you_.”

“mmm...” As he slides their faces together, Milo finally reaches the open mouth, licking at top and bottom lip, desperate for a kiss. “...I think I can do that for you, Alpha...”

==&&==&&==

Jared doesn't need to be told to know when the lead Alpha finally arrives home. He has managed to find himself some busywork in the kitchen, helping Sophia with her portion of dinner. And it's not as if Jared feels compelled to change his manners when Jensen enters the kitchen to bid everyone “hello”. He's not going to lift his head, though he does join in the mutual 'welcomes' and properly smiles. It's not until Jensen crosses Jared's eye-line to get a drink out of the fridge, then stands where his Omega is seated to make his announcement of obvious intentions.

“Well...I'm excited. The food smells delicious. I'll be back down after I've showered and changed.” Jensen nods toward Sophia and Steve, then places a hand flat to Jared's back. “ _Jared..._ ”

There was nothing else stated. The uttered name was for no one paying attention to Jensen's hand, how it delved lower and then started kneading the lumbar spine at the top upper curves of Jared's backside. It's not a possessive touch as much as it's one that tells the Omega his Alpha _needs_ him—or just to follow behind once he takes the stairs, heading to _their_ bedroom.

Jensen does leave with no curious concern from either Beats. Jared hurriedly finishes his tasks, then walks over to wash his hands, rinse off a few dishes and exits the kitchen without suspicion. When he reaches the staircase there's no sign of Jensen waiting for him so he keeps going. When he reaches the top of the stairs, he can see the master suite's door open, but Jensen isn't standing there. Jared still advances after glancing down both ways of the hall to make sure no one will see him quickly step into, then shut the paneling.

As Jared leans on the wood, Jensen pops from around the open bathroom doorway. “Get in here.”

Jared nods his head, hearing the curtness in Jensen's tone. He doesn't want to anger the Alpha more. As he wanders in, smooth as he pleases, an apology is coming off his tongue, “—look, I should've called you once I got home an' told you—” Jared catches sight of Jensen undressing—he's working out of the t-shirt, throwing it to the floor with the plaid button-down. Jared spins around, head bowed as he contemplates walking out.

“I'm glad you didn't, because once you left, I couldn't help, but— _what the hell are you doing_?” Jensen manages to contain his voice a bit from sounding beyond frustrated. He almost wants to laugh outright because of the way Jared looks shy and embarrassed.

“You're undressing. It's rude of me to stand here an'...try to talk to you. I should—” Jared is halfway out the doorway when Jensen snags his arm.

“I was more undressed when you brought me my knock-out tea. Stay. I want you in here so we can talk an' I can see your face.” Jensen goes to undo his jeans, then lowers them which makes it tough to chase after Jared when he bolts again. He hops on one foot to pull off a leg of his jeans to kick them to the growing pile of dirty clothing. Jensen paces out into his bedroom, thinking Jared would be part-way across the room—maybe even on the other side of the bed. He wasn't; he stands right near the pile of clean clothes on the bed Jensen had set out for himself to change into. “I'm not upset with you, Jay. I never was.”

“I was out of line.” Jared dodges his Alpha's touch—the out-reaching hand falling through mid-air. “I'm—I told you I can be 'pushy'. I let a bit of power go to my head.” He shakes his head at his own stupidity with a small smile on his face. “You know your pack better than I do. And I'm not your Omega in a _true_ sense, and I tried to dominate.”

“ _all right-all right_...would you fuckin' stop already!” Jensen puts up that same hand he had tried to caress Jared with to ease the weird tension in the room. “If anyone needs to apologize here, it's me.” He brings his hand to touch his own chest, palm turning to lay flat to his bare skin. “I'm—I haven't ever made a single move for my pack without their opinions heard and consents given.” Jensen snorts a loud snicker at himself, how pathetic he's been. “It's almost laughable how I still dare to call myself, Alpha. _Lead_ Alpha. I fear the wrath of my pack members too much.”

Jared swivels but doesn't expect to see Jensen in only a pair of tighter briefs than last nights, and it's rather obvious the semi-stiffness is hidden beneath. He has to sit down or faint, even though he really wants to pounce.

“ ** _christ!_** I knew it.” Now it sinks into Jensen's head what exactly Jared was reacting to. “My scent is—I'm sweaty and covered in sawdust. Not to mention I couldn't stop thinking 'bout how to come crawling back to you to say I was so—”

Jensen doesn't expect to be instantly embrace in one of Jared's all-encompassing hugs, not to mention he's being lifted off the floor a few inches, which makes him instinctively jump to latch legs around his Omega's waist as Jared goes to sit down on the mattress again and purposefully tumbles onto his back. Jensen playfully pins each forearm to the bed, beside Jared's head, staring down into the humor-filled features. “This is becoming tougher than we thought.”

Jared doesn't struggle to be released; he wants to grab Jensen's wrist or take his fingers to entwine them with his. “Why do you think I turned my back and tried to leave the bathroom. I don't need any more incentive to be attracted or become aroused...or want you. Unless you're...” He gradually pushes upright, watching Jensen's hands remove from his forearms to shuffle onto his torso. Jared extends his arms backward to brace his body as Jensen moves along with his movements.

“What?” Jensen raises an eyebrow in bewilderment. “Do you think I did _this_ intentionally to see if I could get your dick to work an' stay hard for me?”

Jared sighs as he averts his head, looking down at the rumpled bedsheets. “It's not—you have every right as my Alpha to do what you feel is necessary, but...at least be honest with me if _this_ was your plan all along.”

“It's not my ' _plan_ ', Jared.” Straddling his Omega's hips, Jensen traces his hands down the sides to latch onto the belt loops of the jeans. “I can't—we don't have much time tonight and I need a shower. I had to let you know you were right, back at my workshop, and that I'm going to let you build your 'temple' in my backyard.” His gaze is intent on Jared's face, wanting to convey truth even though Jared refuses to look at him. “I'm not a guy who likes to command or talk to people to their backs or in the air when they're not in the room with me. It's a piss-poor choice to have important conversations during, but it was our only option at the moment.” Jensen bends forward to merge their foreheads, lips grazing skin on the side of the face to the hairline.

“I should've known better. I'm sorry, _love_.” Jared pushes his face into Jensen's, a little ashamed of his words and upset with himself for lumping Jensen will every other Alpha he's met. “It takes me a while to work out that sometimes there are no underlaying ulterior motives.”

Jensen grabs Jared's face to press his mouth to a temple in acceptance of the apology. “I suppose it's bad form of me to ask you to sit in the bathroom while I take my shower?”

“You really need to apologize more?” Jared deeply chuckles as he wonders what else Jensen needs to say on the matter in question.

“No...I've miss'd you.” Jensen playfully shoves at Jared's chest, then tries to climb off with some care so he doesn't rub their bodies together to further their arousals. “Kinda crave you—need you near...an' I don't care how.”

Jared does feel a bit colder as Jensen draws away, and the odd ache is beginning to churn again. “You feel better when I'm in the vicinity?”

“Don't you feel it too?” Jensen settles to sit beside Jared on the mattress, despite only being in his underwear.

“It's an ache but it's not crumbling.” Jared takes a hard swallow, because it will eventually turn into exactly what he described.

“I should've call'd you.” Jensen bumps his side against Jared. “Maybe the sound of our voices would relieve us a bit.”

“We'll have to try it.”

“Tomorrow. Whomever feels the pain first— _calls_.” Jensen slaps a hand on the thickness of Jared's left thigh, sliding along the inseam then cups a knee. “No matter what.”

Jared leans behind Jensen, hand planted flat to the mattress. “That'll be one serious phone bill—land-line or cell.” He's dipping his head to the back of the nape, sniffing at the hair, catching an odor of male Alpha sweat, sawdust of the particular wood Jensen had been working with [ it's scents like honey ], skin musk and leftover cologne from this morning. He's tempted to taste, but keeps his tongue in his cheek.

“I have a pack plan—so many minutes I can waste. I got phones for everyone an' it's only one set price.”

“My cell phone belongs to the company I work for. I don't have one of my own.”

“We'll get you one.” Jensen turns a little, curious to what Jared could be contemplating behind his back in that position. “Lemme check my office. I might have an old cell we can reactivate.” He reluctantly climbs off the bed, yanking on Jared's hand. “C'mon...come with. We need to make up for lost time an' for what we'll have to suffer downstairs during dinner.”

Jared waits as long as he can before the weird sensation resurfaces again. As he shoots off the mattress, making his way into the bathroom, he catches sight of Jensen's bare ass cheeks shifting as he walks to the shower stall. He's reaching in to turn on the faucet and starts the shower spray. The Alpha has no shame in his nudity, but also never turns around. Jared leans on the sink ledge, crossing his arms over his abdomen; he's very tempted to strip naked and follow his Alpha as fas as he'll let him, but both of them being wet and just out-of-the-shower would definitely appear suspicious. Jensen takes out another extra-large body towel and drapes it over the metal bar across the shower door. The glass of the shower stall is crushed or beveled in such a way that leaves the naked form behind it blurred. Yet having to watch Jensen wash himself—upper and lower portions, then scrub at his short hair...Jared can't take anymore and sits on the closed toilet lid so he can turn away or stare down at the tiled flooring. He doesn't dare to leave the room or cause either of them unneeded pain.

Jensen helms most of their discussions, talking about work, the shop, the warehouse...some of the furniture pieces Jensen has yet to work on. He opens the door to grab for the towel, the dries off as best he can inside the stall. He wraps the material around his waist, leaving the panel open to let steam out; he walks over to the sink by way of Jared on the toilet lid. Jensen sits on his Omega's lap, hugging him to his chest. “Wish I could cancel out on another meal, but two nights in a row might cause worry.”

“I'm okay, despite...feeling a slight unease when you leave the room.” Jared reaches out for a random hand-towel and covers Jensen's hair to sop-up more moisture, wiping at the bare nape and broad shoulders. “Your hair grows so damn fast. It's already two inches longer since your last cut.”

Jensen closes his lids, wanting to feel Jared's fingers massaging his scalp. “I like it shorter—sometimes I like a little length in the colder months.” Shivers roll down his spine as he recalls the dreams he's had of his Omega's fingers all over his body again—like the other night, but...now tripping over fully naked flesh...

Jared presses a light kiss to a rounded shoulder joint, then keeps his cheek against the heated skin. “If you buy a hair-trimmer, I know how to use it.”

“Of course you do.” Jensen softly elbows Jared in the side. “You're bound and determined not to see my waste more money frivolously.”

“Once a week to see the barber has to be a lot of upkeep. Jus' savin' time and bother if we can do this stuff at home.”

“mmm...” Jensen leans backward against Jared's chest, liking the feel of having someone stronger, bigger than him to relax on when he's ready to stop being Alpha and leader of his pack. “...already thinking of this place as ' _home_ '...”

“Well, I think it's more of a— _wherever you are, that's my home_.” Jared rubs his brow and temple against Jensen's shoulder blades.

“ _god_ —I like that better.” Jensen is about to turn in Jared's lap, but he's being unceremoniously pushed off—denied a moment of schmoopy intimacy.

“C'mon, get up.” Jared finds he has to physically shape his hands around his Alpha's hips, over the material of the towel about his waist, then sent airborne to stand as he gently pats the rounded backside. “Go get dress'd. I'll clean up in here, then we'll try to make our way downstairs.”

Jensen hates leaving without doing something constructive, but Jared's too quick, or he had already picked up the pile of his dirty clothing from the floor while he had been in the shower, oblivious. “I'll need to stop in my office to see if I have those old cell phones, then I'll make sure I can reactivate one for you.”

“One more day's not gonna hurt.” Jared hugs the clothing to his chest, placing the pile somewhere around the region of his groin. “I wouldn't wanna rush your poor cell phone agent.”

“sheesh, he lives for this.” Jensen has to be delicately jostled out of the bathroom as he keeps twisting to talk with Jared. “I'm kinda the customer he creams his Chinos for—a lead Alpha in need of a 'family' plan.”

“It's a 'pack' plan, right?” Jared has to pause at the word “family” being used in conjunction with something being done for him. “Haven't they started implementing those yet?”

“uh-huh...but it's still ' _family_ ', but yeah...it's pack family.” Jensen had seen the hazel eyes go wide and darken at the mention of the word “family”. It touches him deeply that Jared reacts to even the tiniest mention of the most mundane things.

==&&==&&==

 **TBC...**


	15. Chapter 15

  


[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v163/sonnygrl/spn-samdean/?action=view&current=thesesilenthearts3TitleName3.jpg) [ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v163/sonnygrl/spn-samdean/?action=view&current=thesesilentheartsAcklesPackEditionTitleName2.jpg)

  


Jensen is in his office, at the safe lock-box above the fireplace. He's pulling out everything inside in order to see if what he's searching for is there. If not, he has another lock-box in one of his desk drawers. He should've looked there first; never fails that it's always the last place you look in.

There's a light knock on his open door. “ ** _Alpha!?!_** ”

“Come in, Chad.” Jensen smiles over his shoulder as he watches the Omega wander in; he has a thick 8x10 envelope under one arm. Jensen puts everything back where he found it, then spins the combination padlock as he sets the leaning picture frame over the top. “What's up?”

“I got this in the mail today.” Chad holds out the envelope to Jensen. “I thought it best to have you open it for me, since Chris isn't here.”

“Oh?” Jensen flips it to read whom the sender had been.

“It's from pack council,” Chad tells Jensen as he catches those keen green eyes discovering the information on his own.

“oh...” Jensen furrows his brow with concern. He hasn't gotten a call from anyone, nor has his father Alpha tried to reach him as a warning, if this were something extremely dire. “Have they called or tried to reach you in any other fashion?”

“No.” Chad frowns heavily as he reaches for his cell phone to double-check his incoming messages and the calls he's had over the past few days. “Unless I've been ignoring a different number and it's not what I have them filed under.”

Jensen rubs his temple. “Well, sometimes...if you're coming from another pack an', uhm...” He doesn't want to bring up Chad's old pack past, if he can help it. “...there were special circumstances in your record, they may have assigned you a counselor back in school or maybe a case worker—someone who works for pack life and family services.”

“Like what Soph does?” Chad nods his head as he asks.

“Kind of.” Jensen lifts one eyebrow in inquiry. “Do you recall ever talking with anyone like that?”

Chad furrows his brow as he folds his arms over his chest, cell phone still clutched in his hand. “I talk'd to a lot of people, not all of them pack. But no one who gave me a number or even a business card.”

“ _heyhey_...don't worry.” Jensen means to ease Chad's worry, because he's not in trouble. “It's pack council. They rarely do things fair-n-square.” He explains to the Omega why he's given out this detail. “They could have two agencies inside the same building, but they never know what the other is doing.” Jensen takes a chair, directing Chad to sit beside him. “You certain you want me to open this?”

“Please.” Chad plops down in a slouch. “My hands are sweaty and shaking.” He holds out his hands to show proof, then tucks them back under his biceps. “That looks fuckin' ' _official_ ' to me.”

“It does, doesn't it?” Jensen gets up to reach over for one of his letter openers as he wrinkles his brow in perplexed curiosity. “I haven't gotten a call or been notified of anything pertaining to you guys, so...I'm just as nervous as you have to be.”

“Shit.” Chad sits up straight, like he's secretly being watched on hidden camera; one knee starts bouncing up and down in a nervous twitch as he bites a thumbnail. “Now I'm more freak'd than ever. I wish Chris was here.” He mutters that last part under breath.

Jensen zeros his green eyes on Chad. “He _will_ be. And, if it's anything that's against your will or want, he's _your_ Alpha.” He cuts into the top flap, then tugs on the thickest portion to pull out the papers, which is more like a letter, a newsletter and then some folder packet.

“Well...am I in deep shit or _what_?” Chad had been squeezing his eyes shut, but opens one lid at a time to see the frown that mars Jensen's forehead is now a clear look of deep interest. “Did my school credits not transfer? I got college loans I still gotta pay off, huh?”

“Dude, chill out.” Jensen lightly snickers with the shake of his head. “I don't know what this is—yet.” He narrows his gaze as he attempts to scan the words professionally typed in an official format. “It does appear to be good news. It could be great news if I actually understood what this was...” Jensen can't help frowning deeply as he keeps flipping through each slip of paper. “...and why only _you_? Not that it's a slight to you.”

“oh, man...none taken.” Chad swipes his hand in mid-air. “As long as I'm _not_ in trouble with pack council, I'm aces.”

Jensen points to the stack in his hands. “Can I keep _this_?” As he looks back down at the letter at the top, he bites into his bottom lip in concentration. “I think I should make a call to my father.”

“He's one of the high officials, isn't he?” Chad looks on in slight wonderment, pretty certain his lead Alpha will get to the bottom of this issue.

“yeah, but this seems more a, uh...pack _committee_ kind-of-thing.” Even though it has everything to do with pack committee, it does have to be voted on by the officials in pack council. Or at least the plan to formulate and then implement starts there. “Like something to do with an old pack way of life.”

“uh, yeah, keep it, then tell me what the fuck I gotta do.” Chad scoots forward in his chair, knowing he's almost being dismissed to leave. “If anything.”

“It doesn't look too bad, Chad, so I'd stop worrying.” Jensen has settled the pile of paperwork on his lap, and is now fiddling with certain sheets that spark his interest more to check out. “But, it does seem like _something_ I might have to bring up to the pack.” He glances up at Chad as the Omega begins to rise off the cushion. “Would that be okay with you?”

“uhm...not sure, but I trust you, Alpha.” Chad smiles wide as he notices Jensen is swiftly exiting his own chair. He keeps talking as Jensen moves over the floor. “Just...make sure it's something I won't get in trouble for if I refuse.”

“I'm sure it's not, but we'll see.” Jensen is already behind his desk, picking up his land-line phone. Before he even dials numbers, he starts using his hand as he speaks directly to Chad, “If I'm late for dinner, let them know I'll be there once I'm done.”

“—'kay, but I can get them to hold back a few minutes, 'case you wanna talk before we eat.”

“Five, nor more than ten, then start serving the food.” Jensen punches in the numbers he's all too familiar using, then keeps looking over at Chad as he's backing out the office doorway. “My father might get... _chatty_.”

“ah...” Chad lifts up one side of his mouth in a smirk, then grabs his biceps as he stops and stands right at the open door. “...you're one of those sons that won't call home 'less you have to.”

Jensen rolls his eyes, but for knowing what's in store for himself once he's reached his father, not for Chad. “If you knew my father, you'd understand why.”

“eh, sometimes I wish'd I had a Pops that cared enough to talk with me.” Chad looks off at a random spot along the book-lined wall. “Hell, even call me to let me know he ain't dead yet.”

“Want mine?” Jensen isn't going to be browbeaten into caving with his father Alpha. He settles down in the chair, sitting forward as he places everything spread-out on his desktop.

“uh, no.” Chad snorts out a loud laugh, then tucks his hands into his front pockets. “I said ' _sometimes_ _I_ _wish_ '...laters, gator...” He salutes from his left temple as he shuffles quickly out of the room, hurrying down the hall like he hears his name being bellowed.

Jensen deeply chuckles, then spins his chair around when the other line picks up. “ ** _Hey,_** ** _'Milla...it's_** ** _Jensen._** ** _Is_** ** _my_** ** _father_** ** _free_** ** _to_** ** _speak_** ** _with_** ** _me?...mmm-hmm...okay,_** ** _uhm...put_** ** _me_** ** _on_** ** _hold_** ** _an'_** ** _I'll_** ** _wait_** ** _as_** ** _long_** ** _as_** ** _I_** ** _can...oh,_** ** _no-no-no...I'll_** ** _put_** ** _it_** ** _on_** ** _speaker_** ** _an'_** ** _keep_** ** _doin'_** ** _what_** ** _I_** ** _was_** ** _doin'...huh?—Oh,_** ** _I'm_** ** _good._** ** _An'_** ** _you?...oh,_** ** _another_** ** _gran'child?_** ** _A_** ** _girl?...A_** ** _boy?!?_** ** _awww,_** ** _weren't_** ** _you_** ** _looking_** ** _forward_** ** _to_** ** _a_** ** _'girl'?_** ** _Hehehe...yeah,_** ** _well,_** ** _as_** ** _long_** ** _as_** ** _the_** ** _'pup's'_** ** _healthy_** ** _an'_** ** _squealing_** ** _so_** ** _loud_** ** _you_** ** _almost_** ** _wanna_** ** _put_** ** _'em_** ** _back_** ** _in,_** ** _huh?...oh,_** ** _yeah—the_** ** _first_** ** _one,_** ** _uhm,_** ** _in_** ** _two-n-a-half_** ** _months_** ** _or_** ** _less...huh?_** ** _Oh,_** ** _yes,_** ** _we_** ** _had_** ** _a_** ** _bad_** ** _touch-n-go_** ** _for_** ** _a_** ** _bit._** ** _Mother_** ** _an'_** ** _'pup'_** ** _are_** ** _better_** ** _than_** ** _ever._** ** _Even_** ** _considering_** ** _a_** ** _home_** ** _birth,_** ** _which_** ** _scares_** ** _the_** ** _hell_** ** _outta_** ** _us_** ** _Alphas...oh,_** ** _yeah,_** ** _we're_** ** _all_** ** _pussies_** ** _when_** ** _it_** ** _comes_** ** _to_** ** _you_** ** _Omegas...hehehe,_** ** _all_** ** _right,_** ** _'Milla._** ** _You_** ** _give_** ** _that_** ** _mother_** ** _an'_** ** _pup'_** ** _of_** ** _yours_** ** _my_** ** _well-wishes...uh-huh...miss_** ** _you_** ** _all_** ** _too...bye..._** ** _”_** Jensen presses the button, then hangs up the handset. He goes into his middle drawer to take out the duplicate set of keys to open the larger, deeper drawer on his left. He hears the faint muzak of his father's office phone line at the pack council building. He hates the sleep-inducing crap, so he turns down the volume in order to function. Jensen unlocks the drawer, open it to look down at the metal lock-box fitted into the back. He knows the combination is different than his wall safe, but not by much. He's just managed to hear the “click” of the safe unlatching when he can hear his father's voice on the line. Lucky for Jensen, Alan is still catting to whomever is in his office.

“ ** _...son?_** ** _Jen?_** ** _You_** ** _still_** ** _there?_** ”

Jensen presses the speakerphone button as he picks up the extension. “ _heyyyy_ , Dad...I'm here.” He softens his tone, like he's back to being Alan Ackles' younger son.

“ ** _sorry_** ** _'bout_** ** _that._** ** _Camilla_** ** _didn't_** ** _tell_** ** _me_** ** _it_** ** _was_** ** _you._** ** _Sometimes_** ** _I_** ** _think_** ** _she_** ** _likes_** ** _to_** ** _get_** ** _me_** ** _immersed_** ** _in_** ** _hot_** ** _water._** _”_

“I wasn't waiting long.” Jensen rubs at one eye socket, feeling a tender ache behind his forehead. “I just turned down the snooze-muzak.”

“ ** _hey,_** ** _it_** ** _was_** ** _the_** ** _better_** ** _choice—some_** ** _wanted_** ** _new_** ** _age-y_** ** _sounding_** ** _crap...like_** ** _babbling_** ** _brooks_** ** _an'_** ** _woodland_** ** _creatures._** ”

“oh, god...” Jensen hates when he has to fake-laugh with his father, but he does it to keep the peace. “That soun's even worse. I won't complain then.”

“ ** _I_** ** _guess_** ** _it's_** ** _too_** ** _much_** ** _to_** ** _assume_** ** _you're_** ** _calling_** ** _to_** ** _just_** ** _say_** ** _'hi'._** ** _See_** ** _how_** ** _the_** ** _ol'_** ** _pack's_** ** _doing?_** ”

Jensen makes his face go numb, not wanting to give away any true feelings with facial expressions his father couldn't see. “You know me too well.”

“ ** _Your_** ** _brother_** ** _lets_** ** _me_** ** _know_** ** _enough._** ** _Why_** ** _didn't_** ** _you_** ** _call_** ** _to_** ** _tell_** ** _us_** ** _about_** ** _your_** ** _Omega_** ** _being_** ** _in_** ** _the_** ** _hospital?_** ”

“Because...” Jensen clears his throat, sitting more upright in his chair. “...it was better we dealt with it as a pack, on our own.”

“ ** _We_** ** _coulda_** ** _done_** ** _something,_** ** _boy._** ** _Let_** ** _them_** ** _know_** ** _we're_** ** _here_** ** _to_** ** _support_** ** _you_** ** _all_** ** _an'_** ** _they_** ** _won't_** ** _be_** ** _alone._** ”

“...I know, I know.” oh, boy...does Jensen know and there was a reason he kept this all to himself and his pack, because Alan Ackles would've sent over his usual “spies” to check up on his youngest son, making sure things were up to the Ackles' code—the right standards. “We're okay an'...Milo and the 'pup' are great.”

“ ** _Took_** ** _you_** ** _long_** ** _enough_** ** _to_** ** _call._** ** _I_** ** _would_** ** _guess_** ** _things_** ** _were_** ** _back_** ** _to_** ** _normal_** ** _since_** ** _I_** ** _hadn't_** ** _heard_** ** _anything_** ** _else._** ”

“Sorry.” Jensen can hear this crushing disappointment in the tone, but he's used to it. “I wasn't thinking.” He's never tried to be the most perfect of sons to his father.

“ ** _I_** ** _know_** ** _it's_** ** _your_** ** _pack,_** ** _Jensen,_** ** _but_** ** _we're_** ** _all_** ** _one_** ** _big_** ** _family._** ** _You_** ** _only_** ** _got_** ** _that_** ** _one_** ** _other_** ** _Omega_** ** _an'...you_** ** _know_** ** _your_** ** _mothers_** ** _would_** ** _love_** ** _to_** ** _have_** ** _them_** ** _over._** ”

“We work'd it out, Dad. It couldn't have resolved itself any better.” Jensen wants to kill the subject before he lets it slip about Jared. “Look, the reason I'm calling is because my other Omega—Chad—just got this official pack council envelope in the mail.” He pushes his chair to fit his legs beneath his desk as he messes around with the papers on his desktop's surface. He picks up each item as he mentions it over the phone. “A letter from the president of council and some long-ass newsletter thing from pack committee, dealing with some type of pack life and family services retreat.” Jensen flips the thicker folder packet in his hands, not sure what to make of it and what's inside. “There's an equally puzzling packet containing some information on what looks like some summer camp for my Omega. And why did only one of them get an envelope? I have two an'...” He almost shoves the whole deal across his desk as he leans back in his chair in a huff. “—what the fuck am I reading about?” Jensen can hear his father's soft chuckling over the line.

“ ** _oh,_** ** _son...if_** ** _you'd_** ** _bother_** ** _to_** ** _show_** ** _up_** ** _more_** ** _council_** ** _meetings_** ** _than_** ** _just_** ** _once_** ** _a_** ** _month,_** ** _maybe_** ** _you'd_** ** _know._** ”

Jensen rubs loosely over his brow, combing back his front spikes. “Tell me—did I vote on this an' not even know it?”

“ ** _No,_** ** _this_** ** _was_** ** _voted_** ** _on_** ** _before_** ** _you_** ** _came_** ** _on_** ** _board._** ** _Almost_** ** _four_** ** _years_** ** _in_** ** _the_** ** _making._** ** _Everyone_** ** _has_** ** _finally_** ** _gotten_** ** _together,_** ** _pulling_** ** _every_** ** _resource_** ** _they_** ** _could_** ** _to_** ** _get_** ** _it_** ** _started_** ** _before_** ** _we_** ** _hit_** ** _the_** ** _five_** ** _year_** ** _mark_** ** _with_** ** _nothing_** ** _to_** ** _show_** ** _for_** ** _our_** ** _decision._** ** _We've_** ** _got_** ** _the_** ** _facility,_** ** _the_** ** _funding_** ** _and_** ** _the_** ** _complete_** ** _backing_** ** _from_** ** _all_** ** _the_** ** _packs._** ”

“I still don't get it.” Jensen shrugs both shoulders, then leans weakly to one side, his elbow resting on the left armrest. “What are they asking my Omega to volunteer for?”

“ ** _Remember_** ** _when_** ** _you_** ** _were_** ** _between_** ** _20-22yrs_** ** _old_** ** _and_** ** _me,_** ** _you_** ** _an'_** ** _your_** ** _uncles,_** ** _with_** ** _quite_** ** _a_** ** _few_** ** _of_** ** _my_** ** _Alphas_** ** _would_** ** _always_** ** _try_** ** _to_** ** _go_** ** _'camping_** ** _and_** ** _hunting'_** ** _at_** ** _least_** ** _two_** ** _weeks_** ** _out_** ** _of_** ** _the_** ** _year,_** ** _preferably_** ** _in_** ** _the_** ** _summer_** ** _months?_** ”

Jensen covers his eyes in mild shame and embarrassment as the memories came rushing back in a split second of time. “yeah, I seem to recall fondly it was more fun for you _older_ Alphas than it was for me—the one left to take care of the camp as you all shifted an' went, uh...' _hunting_ '.” With only one hand available, he could only make half-air quotes.

“ ** _We_** ** _told_** ** _you_** ** _that_** ** _whenever_** ** _you_** ** _felt_** ** _like_** ** _it,_** ** _you_** ** _were_** ** _more_** ** _than_** ** _welcome_** ** _to_** ** _join_** ** _us._** ”

Jensen snorts hard at the words his father stated, like it was an actual choice he had made for himself, not like he was led astray then forced into making a snap decision that would make or break his reputation as Alan Ackles' Alpha son. “I hadn't shifted since puberty, Dad, and I wasn't too keen on ' _hunting_ ' at 13.” His snarky tone makes it sound as if he's still bitter, and he is, very much so. “It didn't improve with age at 21 or 22.”

“ ** _And_** ** _I_** ** _said_** ** _to_** ** _you_** ** _that_** ** _it_** ** _was_** ** _fine._** ** _It_** ** _never_** ** _made_** ** _you_** ** _less_** ** _of_** ** _an_** ** _Alpha_** ** _or_** ** _stopped_** ** _you_** ** _from_** ** _being_** ** _a_** ** _pack_** ** _member_** ** _that_** ** _you_** ** _chose_** ** _not_** ** _to_** ** _shift_** ** _to_** ** _your_** ** _wolf_** ** _form._** ”

“Josh did, didn't he?” Jensen doesn't have to hear it, because he knows. Josh always did everything their father asked of him, right down to who he'd finally mate with. “When you'd take him before he left to be with his own pack?”

“ ** _Josh_** ** _is_** ** _Josh,_** ** _Jensen._** ** _He's_** ** _his_** ** _own_** ** _man,_** ** _his_** ** _own_** ** _Alpha._** ** _I_** ** _don't_** ** _compare_** ** _you_** ** _two._** ”

Jensen doesn't even hear what his father says, because it's been drilled into his head that he can _never_ measure up to his wonderful, perfect older brother. “I shouldn't even bother asking, but...he does the same with his own pack, huh? Or did, at one time?” Josh's pack is almost ten years older than Jensen's pack.

“ ** _That's_** ** _up_** ** _to_** ** _your_** ** _brother_** ** _to_** ** _reveal._** ** _He_** ** _runs_** ** _his_** ** _pack_** ** _by_** ** _his_** ** _own_** ** _standards._** ** _Same_** ** _as_** ** _your_** ** _sister's_** ** _lead_** ** _Alpha._** ** _This_** ** _way_** ** _—_** ** _-that_** ** _envelope_** ** _you_** ** _hold—the_** ** _pack_** ** _members_** ** _have_** ** _a_** ** _safe_** ** _escape,_** ** _more_** ** _of_** ** _an_** ** _experience_** ** _with_** ** _trained_** ** _pack_** ** _members._** ** _It's_** ** _not_** ** _important_** ** _that_** ** _they_** ** _show_** ** _up,_** ** _but_** ** _it's_** ** _encouraged_** ** _if_** ** _they've_** ** _never_** ** _shifted_** ** _since_** ** _birth_** ** _or_** ** _puberty._** ”

“Exactly how was the data collected?” Jensen is a little weirded out how they discovered how to reach Chad so out-of-the-blue, with no other mode of contact. “It's not something you'd get from a pack public record.”

“ ** _Well,_** ** _they_** ** _would_** ** _need_** ** _to_** ** _contact_** ** _family._** ** _The_** ** _old_** ** _pack—parents,_** ** _aunts_** ** _or_** ** _uncles,_** ** _siblings,_** ** _if_** ** _there_** ** _are_** ** _any._** ** _If_** ** _this_** ** _Omega_** ** _of_** ** _yours_** ** _is_** ** _being_** ** _offered_** ** _this_** ** _packet,_** ** _it_** ** _means_** ** _whomever_** ** _is_** ** _from_** ** _his_** ** _old_** ** _pack_** ** _knows_** ** _he's_** ** _never_** ** _shifted_** ** _since_** ** _puberty_** ** _an'_** ** _didn't_** ** _have_** ** _the,_** ** _uh...rite_** ** _of_** ** _passage_** ** _moment_** ** _you_** ** _did_** ** _in_** ** _his_** ** _early_** ** _20s._** ”

Right away, Jensen is in protective mode, maybe because all he can hear in his father's voice in how his pack members “lack” experience and the right kind of character to be of a true Ackles' pack. “He's 22...almost 23. He's not quite 25 yet, Dad.” Though it sounds like Jensen is sticking up for Chad, he's really sticking up for his younger self who never felt like he got noticed by his own father.

“ ** _Well,_** ** _then...he'll_** ** _keep_** ** _getting_** ** _one_** ** _until_** ** _his_** ** _25_** ** _th_** ** _year._** ** _A_** ** _packet_** ** _every_** ** _six_** ** _months._** ** _It's_** ** _his_** ** _right_** ** _to_** ** _refuse._** ** _His_** ** _choice_** ** _to_** ** _stay_** ** _as_** ** _human_** ** _as_** ** _he_** ** _likes._** ** _There's_** ** _not_** ** _any_** ** _law_** ** _being_** ** _signed_** ** _into_** ** _existence_** ** _that_** ** _denies_** ** _him_** ** _that_** ** _civil_** ** _right._** ”

“So why now? And why like this?” Jensen is still beyond confused why this has to be happening now, right when they could use Chad at home. He doesn't even care if Christian is upset by this news, because he's going to be upset for him.

“ ** _It's_** ** _nostalgia_** ** _oriented,_** ** _I_** ** _suppose._** ** _A_** ** _kickback_** ** _when_** ** _packs_** ** _used_** ** _to_** ** _shift_** ** _nonstop._** ** _We've_** ** _all—all_** ** _of_** ** _us_** ** _have_** ** _become_** ** _such_** ** _modernists_** ** _and_** ** _stuck_** ** _in_** ** _our_** ** _tendencies_** ** _to_** ** _be_** ** _more_** ** _human,_** ** _so_** ** _we're_** ** _not_** ** _seen_** ** _as_** ** _freaks_** ** _and_** ** _we_** ** _blend_** ** _in_** ** _more._** ** _I_** ** _believe_** ** _the_** ** _Purists_** ** _are_** ** _the_** ** _last_** ** _of_** ** _the_** ** _packs_** ** _who_** ** _still_** ** _shift_** ** _the_** ** _most,_** ** _though_** ** _they_** ** _tend_** ** _to_** ** _live_** ** _far_** ** _out_** ** _of_** ** _council's_** ** _reach._** ** _They_** ** _could_** ** _be_** ** _more_** ** _wolf_** ** _than_** ** _we_** ** _realize._** ** _It's_** ** _being_** ** _kept_** ** _in_** ** _a_** ** _sacred_** ** _portion_** ** _of_** ** _forestry_** ** _because_** ** _of_** ** _the_** ** _high_** ** _rates_** ** _of_** ** _deaths_** ** _in_** ** _packs,_** ** _when_** ** _wolfing_** ** _can_** ** _tend_** ** _to_** ** _get_** ** _out_** ** _of_** ** _control._** ** _Not_** ** _because_** ** _of_** ** _the_** ** _packs_** ** _themselves._** ”

For the first time, Jensen drops his wall and he actually pays attention to what his father says. “I hear they feel safest in the wolf sanctuaries. We have quite a few around here, in Dallas or...is it closer to Richmond? Near you?”

“ ** _It's_** ** _up_** ** _there,_** ** _son._** ** _Where_** ** _mankind_** ** _ain't_** ** _got_** ** _a_** ** _finger_** ** _to_** ** _lay_** ** _on_** ** _it._** ** _The,_** ** _uh...Omega_** ** _spiritualists_** ** _got_** ** _themselves_** ** _a_** ** _place,_** ** _or_** ** _two,_** ** _out_** ** _there._** ** _They_** ** _volunteer_** ** _to_** ** _run_** ** _the_** ** _sanctuary._** ** _It_** ** _doesn't_** ** _take_** ** _much_** ** _to_** ** _run_** ** _it._** ** _The_** ** _wolves_** ** _take_** ** _care_** ** _of_** ** _their_** ** _own,_** ** _but...sometimes_** ** _the_** ** _damn_** ** _campers_** ** _an'_** ** _hikers...the_** ** _curiosity_** ** _of_** ** _humans...the_** ** _need_** ** _to_** ** _be_** ** _'one'_** ** _with_** ** _Mother_** ** _Earth_** ** _and_** ** _how_** ** _they_** ** _can_** ** _sometimes_** ** _turn_** ** _us_** ** _into_** ** _touristy_** ** _freak_** ** _shows._** ** _Others...are_** ** _intentionally_** ** _being_** ** _hunted._** ** _We_** ** _need_** ** _to_** ** _protect_** ** _those_** ** _who_** ** _shift_** ** _during_** ** _the_** ** _later_** ** _parts_** ** _of_** ** _the_** ** _year_** ** _when_** ** _hunting_** ** _season_** ** _comes_** ** _around._** ”

Jensen is done being polite to his father. “So, it's okay if he says ' _no_ '?”

“ ** _Jensen,_** ** _now_** ** _don't_** ** _go_** ** _serving_** ** _it_** ** _to_** ** _him_** ** _already_** ** _warm_** ** _an'_** ** _piping_** ** _hot_** ** _like_** ** _that!_** ** _It's_** ** _a_** ** _short_** ** _time_** ** _out_** ** _of_** ** _his_** ** _life_** ** _to_** ** _get_** ** _in_** ** _touch_** ** _with_** ** _his_** ** _wolf._** ** _You_** ** _didn't_** ** _hate_** ** _all_** ** _of_** ** _it_** ** _when_** ** _you_** ** _were_** ** _13._** ”

“I made you think I was all right, Dad.” Jensen has no idea where this truth bullet is coming from. “I made sure you didn't know a lot of things about me.”

“ ** _oh,_** ** _christ,_** ** _boy...I_** ** _don't_** ** _have_** ** _time_** ** _to_** ** _get_** ** _into_** ** _this_** ** _with_** ** _you,_** ** _but,_** ** _please...don't_** ** _go_** ** _at_** ** _this_** ** _Omega_** ** _with_** ** _that_** ** _negative_** ** _attitude_** ** _toward_** ** _'shifting'._** ** _Some_** ** _of_** ** _us_** ** _still_** ** _like_** ** _to_** ** _touch_** ** _that_** ** _side_** ** _of_** ** _ourselves_** ** _on_** ** _occasion._** ** _Why_** ** _do_** ** _you_** ** _think_** ** _I_** ** _have_** ** _the_** ** _best_** ** _hunting_** ** _record_** ** _in_** ** _these_** ** _parts?_** ”

“ _all_ _right-all_ _right_...” Jensen is waving his hand in the air, hoping to be off the phone in the next few seconds. “I'll be fair. I'm bringing the whole pack up to speed, so maybe I'll get shot down for being a naysayer to ' _wolfing_ ' right from the start of me opening my big mouth.”

“ ** _Don't_** ** _let_** ** _it_** ** _scare_** ** _the_** ** _boy,_** ** _Jensen._** ** _Don't_** ** _make_** ** _his_** ** _fears_** ** _be_** ** _yours._** ”

“yeah—okay, Dad. Thanks. I'll, uhm...” Jensen scoots his chair in order to have the extension closer to the phone, so he can hang up as soon as possible. But he feels he has to be the obedient, all-forgiving son, so he rambles on with a bunch of nonsense. “I'll try to be at the next pack council meeting or, uhm...I'll stop by the house. I have something I'll need to discuss with you. Better it be face-to-face.”

“ ** _Okay._** ** _You_** ** _sure_** ** _you_** ** _don't_** ** _wanna_** ** _talk_** ** _now?_** ** _I_** ** _can_** ** _make_** ** _time_** ** _for_** ** _you._** ”

“I would, but they probably have dinner on hold for me.” Jensen could almost pat himself on the back for having a great excuse to end the call to his father. “I don't wanna keep them waiting longer.”

“ ** _All_** ** _right,_** ** _son._** ** _Good_** ** _to_** ** _hear_** ** _from_** ** _you._** ** _And_** ** _call_** ** _your_** ** _mothers._** ”

“hehehe...” It's only because it's a typical send-off for Alan Ackles to remind his son that his mothers still love him, miss him and want to know how he's doing. Jensen doesn't mind at all when they're mentioned. “I will. Bye, Dad.”

“ ** _...'night,_** ** _Jensen._** ”

Jensen hangs up the phone right at the “-sen” in his name. He doesn't even care if it was rude or not. He's got a pack to take care of and talk to, then an Omega to flirt with.

==&&==&&==

Jared is still in Milo's room, giving him an extra massage as the 'pup' has moved more today than he has before. Of course Jared knows _exactly_ why as Milo wasn't too secretive about what he and his Alpha had done this afternoon, but he plays like he knows absolutely nothing. “Were you stressed about _something_ all day?” He tucks his tongue into his cheek.

“Maybe.” Milo dips his head as he closes his eyes once he lets Jared's touch sink in. “I don't know. Could be because for the first time in a long while, my Alpha will be sleeping in bed next to me.”

“Tonight?” Jared's merely asking because he never thought he'd be able to stay with Jensen this soon.

“oh, yeah...sorry.” Milo turns a bit to glance over his shoulder; he's sitting on the massage table, not laying down. “Soph already said you can bunk with her. I even checked with Chad.” He sticks up a finger in the air to stress this next point. “Although, fair warning, he's a cuddler. I don't know how you are with a strange, clinging Omega attaching himself to you in weird, way-too-familiar ways while you sleep.”

Jared makes a frowny face, unsure if he wants to deal with Chad. “I'll find out what Sophia's up to.”

“Cool.” Milo wants so badly to tell Jared exactly what transpired this afternoon, with Adrian, but he's a little hesitant. He's trying to bring up a million-and-one subjects in order to avoid one. “Would do you two good to get to know one another. She likes you.”

“Tha's what I hear, but not from her own mouth.” Jared almost displays a pout as he wishes he wasn't hearing all this positive energy second-hand.

Milo should've known, but he never knows how Jared does it—he has this way with every pack member where they accept him outright, and he never has to work too hard to win them over. He never imagined Sophia being the one who caved in first. “sheesh, that woman is such a closed book. It won't be long before she loves you adoringly.” Milo sounds a little envious, mainly because he and Adrian had busted their asses to get her to want to be their mated Beta.

“So...” Jared is ready for another subject change to something he wants to talk about; he knows Milo's been avoiding the real issue. “...will you do ' ** _it_** ' tonight or...is this just— ** _ow-ch!_** ” He wasn't expecting to be stealthily pinched so unfairly. Jared rubs at his sore side. “You're the one who came at me with ' _I_ _want_ _my_ _Alpha_ _inside_ _me_ '-blah-blah-blah...what else can I assume?”

Milo begins to avert his gaze, then his whole head, trying not to smile broadly with the knowledge of what would be in store for himself tonight since he'd already broken the ice with knotting this afternoon. “Tonight will be us finding out how we are now, just sleeping together.” He raises his chin with pride. “If anything happens, I'm not opposed to it happening the first night.” Milo's pretty damn sure it's going to happen again.

“Oh...” Jared is absently asking as he pours out more body oil in his hands. He's only wanting to know so he can tell Jensen. “...so you plan on this going on for several nights—more than one?”

“Jared...”

“Two? Four?”

“Jay, I don't know.” Milo swears Jared sounds a bit too eager to be asking out of interest in he and his Alpha sexual relations. It might be because there's another reason entirely. “It all depends on how we are tonight and—whenever we fuck.”

“So you're not gonna knot—” Jared pauses as he hears the words coming out of his mouth and turns his head. “—wow, tha's a tongue twister... ** _ow-ch!_** ** _Stop_** ** _pinching_** ** _me!_** ” How in the world was Milo able to catch him unawares—twice!

“ ** _You_** ** _quit!_** I'm already nervous. Like I was with my first knotting.” Milo rolls his shoulders to knock off Jared's hands, then jumps down from the table. He wanders over to pick up his shirts.

“You need to stop worrying.” Jared tries to rub the oil into his hands, but it feels a little odd; it smells incredible, though. He walks over to Milo's bathroom to wash his hands, leaving the door wide open. “Go into it like it's a simple sleepover. Take the sex out of the equation.”

Milo is slipping the rest of his Omega Circle gown off in order to fit himself into the lounge-wear pants to go with the shirts he's already got on. “How can I when I'm in a constant influx of horniness when I'm around him?” Everything he's got on is extremely baggy and loose, hiding his seven month 'pup bump'.

Jared wanders out, drying his hands between each palm as he shrugs. “Then—I don't know, man, but you need to quit 'cuz you're gonna agitate your son, or he'll start to fret like you are.” He slowly approaches Milo at his back, then simply lays hands on the shoulders to work over the clothing; he's about ready to work a set of knuckles down Milo's spine to his tailbone.

“Stop.” Milo fidgeted to knock Jared completely off his body. “God, I hate saying this, but stop touching me.” It's truly not Jared's fault, it's both Adrian and Milo's. Anyone touching him seems to send him into orbit. “Le's see if I don't rile myself into a huge ball of hormonal imbalance on my own.”

Jared doesn't take offense to his brother Omega flinching away from him in mild frustration; he's been able to read off on the highly-sensitized feelings since Milo requested he enter his room to give him a back rub—off schedule. “I think it's the higher levels of estrogen battling your poor weakening testosterone.” Jared tucks one hand under his biceps, settling across his chest, then uses the other hand to rub down the biceps of his tucked-in arm. “You're getting close to month seven—you could birth as early as then an' still have a healthy 'pup'. He'll need incubation and intensive care for a week or so, but he'll make it. He's a fighter.” He knows what to start talking about to calm Milo down.

Milo sits down and tries to put on socks, and then will attempt to get into his shoes. “How much do you think he weighs?”

“Well, if we weighed you, comparing your numbers before and now, I'm sure we'd be more accurate.” Jared hates to watch Milo struggle, so he drops down to one knee and finishes with the socks, then loosens the laces of both shoes to eventually place them on the swollen feet. “Except that placenta and fluids, the chords...whatever's there to sustain his life. But...I'm gonna go with him being around 6.5 to 7lbs. By the seventh month, he'll be near 7 and a few ounces.”

“ _jesus..._ ” Milo reaches out to place a calm hand on Jared's broad shoulder. _“_ He's not gonna keep growin' month by month?”

“No.” Jared chuckles softly under his breath, then takes Milo's hand to help him rise. “You won't have a 9lb 'pup', silly.” He lightly brushes a finger over Milo's nosetip, watching him squirm. “He'll stop growing, then the gestation maintains as he takes time to cope until birth. Late eighth to ninth month, then he decides when he wants to come out an' see the world.”

Milo's starting to feel that influx of emotions, where one minute he's a raging bitchy monster, then the next when all he wants to do is cuddle and snuggle. “You're gonna stay for the birth, aren't you?” He moves closer to his brother Omega, the belly skimming Jared's body first, before Milo can take an arm and hug it to him.

Jared had been about to dismantle the massage table, but Milo seems to be more interested in intimate contact; he chooses Milo as he squeezes his hand around the one latched onto his for dear life. “Yes, if I don't get called out for a job. Here is where I'll be.”

“Good. So glad.” Milo leans his head on Jared's shoulder. “I don't think I can do this without you now. I'll close my legs an' hold my breath until you get back, if you have to leave.”

“ _christ_...you don't have to say that.” Jared turns a bit to cup Milo's dark head and press a soft kiss to his brow. “I'll let work know you're still my top priority.”

“Excellent.” Milo lifts up his head, a wide sly smile creeping out over his lips as he goes to try and pinch one of Jared's nipples. “That gives me time to tell you more 'bout Jensen.” Jared is too fast and spry for Milo, who has to turn his pinchers into his whole hand smoothing over the upper chest. “Have I mentioned he's made over half the furniture in this house?”

“You don't say...” Jared pretends he knows nothing of the kind.

==&&==&&==

Jared wanders into the dining room behind Milo, not wanting to rise suspicion if he happens to catch Jensen's eye, but he notices that he's absent and Jared's a bit crestfallen. He doesn't expect _not_ to see his Alpha, but he recalls the mention of something concerning finding an old cell phone in his office, then possibly calling out to activate it. Jared tries to hide his sadness by helping out with putting food on the table once he has Milo seated in his usual spot between Adrian and Sophia's chairs. Neither was there, but will be eventually.

Sophia is in the kitchen while Adrian has just returned home, making a quick run upstairs to change out of his monkey suit. Jared had passed Adrian and Milo in the hall, hanging back to watch Alpha kiss Omega “hello” quite thoroughly, which had proved to Jared that both mates were in on a very intimate secret, trying to play it off about being unable to wait for tonight. This will be an interesting meal if neither man can keep their hands off the other since they already had a taste of what would be headed their way the next few nights.

Jared chuckles to himself before he feels a warm body purposefully bumping into him from behind. He turns, thinking it'll be Chad, but it's Jensen. “Wha—?” He's working a tiny cell phone with one thumb. “No, you didn't. You almost miss'd dinner.” Jared can't believe Jensen would do that for him.

“Don't bitch.” Jensen has one hand on Jared's waist. “I had somethin' else to do, but I found you a good phone. I'm sure you'll like it. It was my old one before I went to my Android. I haven't activated it yet, but I did clean it out. I may have left you a cool pic for your wallpaper.” He hands the phone over to show Jared it's a photograph of himself.

Jared's eyes bulge to notice that he's been 'gifted' with a Blackberry, then he's able to see that Jensen took a photo of himself, rigging it as Jared's background pic. “Figures. Typical Alpha.”

“Seriously?” Jensen puffs out his chest, only pushing against Jared's dangling arm. “You wanna go there, Omega?” He makes certain his voice is low as he smiles a fake-grin.

“I think I do.” Jared stares down with dead eyes into green. “Meet me on the porch...if you still think you're Alpha enough.” He's about ready to twist away when his arm is grabbed.

“Gladly.” Jensen doesn't pull or yank the arm but caresses down in a swirl so that he can hang onto the free hand. He holds up the envelope Chad had given him. “Jus' lemme drop this shit off an' I'll be out there.”

Jared dips low enough to speak into an ear as he gives Jensen's fingers a death-like grip. “...don't make me wait on your ass.”

“I'd never dream of it.” Jensen closes his eyes as he feels the cool, yet warm breath pelt his skin, then opens his eyes to watch his Omega's ass disappear from view. He turns to walk around the empty head of the table, coming up the side. He gives Milo a smirk, then notices a flinch when he barely touches the Omega's shoulder. “ ** _whoa!_** You okay, man?”

“uh, yeah...sorry.” Milo tries to smile, but it looks like it hurts to even move facial features. “I was in my own headspace.”

Jensen sets down the envelope, then shakes his head. “You Omegas like to do that a lot.”

“yeah, well...” Milo feels safest in sarcastic wittiness. “...you Alphas put us through enough where we need the time alone.”

Jensen frowns as he sees the slight sheen to Milo's forehead, right at the dark hairline. “Are you sure you're all right?”

“yes. I'm just... _edgy_.”

“ _On_ _the_ _edge?_ ” Jensen thinks the Omega used the wrong word, but it's still appropriate nonetheless.

Milo gives a slow nod as his eyes dart around the room as if to find someone else. “yes, if that makes it sound better.”

Jensen knows when he's been “dismissed”, so he calls out to his other Omega. “Hey, Chad...”

“ ** _Yo?!_** ” Chad walks through the archway.

“You're okay.” Jensen gestures down to the envelope he placed on the table. “But we'll talk about what this means after dinner. Cool?”

“ ** _Awesome!_** ” Chad gives two thumbs up. “As long as it's somethin' I don't have to do, we can chat 'bout it 'til whenever.”

Jensen laughs at Chad's excitement at not having to do something just to not do something that at one time seemed important. “Well, we'll stop at some point, but I'd like to get more opinions than simply my own.” He makes his way around his own chair so he can head outside to where Jared is waiting on him.

“No sweat, man.” Chad tries to stop his lead Alpha, thinking he might give him a hug, but then he can't help but feel like they're done. He simply pats Jensen's shoulder. “Thanks, Jen.”

“Anytime. Excuse me.” Jensen squeezes his way out of the dining room and goes into the kitchen without being spotted by his Betas. He's outdoors in a matter of seconds with the soft, partial movement of shutting the back-door. Jared is leaning against a porch post like he's been holding it upright. “...you look— _predatory_.” That's the Alpha's—Jensen's—job. “Wha's up with you?”

“I can sleep over tonight.” Jared oozes out with a devious smirk, then slowly makes his way over.

Jensen stops Jared with a five-finger spread on his chest. “Don't joke 'bout that stuff.”

“I'm not.” Jared thinks it's sweet that Jensen would look that distressed for the news not to be a joke. “I swear...Milo jus' told me upstairs that they'll be staying together tonight—even after fucking for a mid-afternoon tryst.”

“ _Holy_ _christ..._ ” Jensen has to back away from Jared as he begins to understand why the atmosphere of the whole house felt... _different_ and Milo had acted strange just minutes ago. “No wonder Milo jumped when I touched him.”

“Horny enough to saw through wood.”

“Nice image. Thanks.” Jensen looks at Jared and the way he keeps flipping the phone, practicing taking a picture with the built-in camera. “Where do you want me?”

“Sit where I was this morning.” Jared gestures with his head. “I'll be...' _you_ '.”

Jensen is already moving down the steps. “An' that's _it_? Just that _one_ picture?”

“I dunno.” Jared shrugs his shoulders as he takes a look at Jensen through his viewfinder, then smiles. His Alpha is way-too photogenic, even with piss-poor porch lighting and early evening darkness where the sun is barely disappearing. “I may want one or two more.”

“Of _me_? Doing _what_?” Jensen sits on the step, his voice cracking as he cricks his neck back to look at Jared standing above him.

“Don't worry. It'll be us.” Jared takes a seat on the planked flooring, spreading out his knees so Jensen can fit between them. “Clean— _maybe_.”

“ _ohjesus..._ ” Jensen pretends like it's a chore to pose one step below Jared.

Jared gently tugs on Jensen's shirt for him to move backward against his chest. He doesn't have to lay on him, but it would be nice. “No funny business, Alpha.” Jared nips and nuzzles Jensen's neck.

“But you...” Jensen just felt lips on his skin; it doesn't seem fair.

“ _hush..._ ” Jared secures a loose arm around Jensen to pull him back, with very little force needed.

And at an opportune moment, Jared takes a shot of them together—it's quite a serious pose, yet somewhat striking. Then he pats the space beside him on the floorboards, wanting Jensen to be his equal, which Jensen gladly moves to pose for. But while he thinks it's going to be them with their faces mushed together, Jared extends his arm out, then sneakily makes a stealthy action to take a nibble or a soft bite out of Jensen's jaw—maybe his neck. Jared cracks up at Jensen's reaction in, and out, of the picture he takes.

“You are the dirtiest...” **_Damn!_** It's the same spot Jared nipped at before, with their first picture. He cradles his neck and jaw in his hand. “...underhanded— _warn_ _me_ _when_ _you're_ _gonna_ _take_ _a_ _shot_ _like_ _that_ _at_ _me!_ ”

“ ** _oh,_** ** _chill!_** ” Jared blows off Jensen's whine with a roll of his eyes. “I barely got my teeth in you.” He's setting up for the next picture.

“ ** _Now_** ** _what?!_** ** _You_** ** _want_** ** _me_** ** _on_** ** _the_** ** _floor?!_** ** _You_** ** _on_** ** _top?!_** ” Jensen doesn't know why he's acting outraged because he actually likes what Jared's doing; he's getting a bit turned-on, maybe that's why he's so frustrated.

“No...” Jared settles down one more step and then another. He pats the floor behind him because Jensen only needs to slide on over to the exact spot. “I want something to remember this morning.” He holds out the cell for Jensen to take. “You control the camera lens, and the moment.” Jared pretends he has “blinders” on both side of his eyes. “I'll look straight ahead.”

“Well...” Jensen does manage to follow Jared's request, with a slight grumpiness to his actions and tone. “...smile if you feel like it. Don't be stone-faced.”

“I won't.” Jared tries to not bust out laughing or break out in a wide silly grin. This is fun—playful and somewhat intimately sexy. “I'll react. I promise.” He adds a flutter of lashes for good measure.

“Great.” Jensen mumbles out as he opens his bowed legs wider to accommodate Jared's height even when sitting. “I feel another intentional screw-up coming my way.”

Jared turns so his back is facing Jensen. He's looking down to see how exactly he should sit to be photographed well, in frame with his Alpha. “I'm not gonna screw this up. An'...I love those other two shots.”

“I know.” Jensen is a little impressed that Jared is quite photogenic, and that he's willing to drop that “spiritual guide” stiffness to be playful and kind of delightfully sexy. “Once you learn how to work your phone, send them to me.”

“Find me the instruction booklet.” Jared spits out over his shoulder.

“ _oh,_ _god._ ” Jensen snorts out a laugh through his nostrils, liking as he hears Jared join in slightly. “That's like requesting me to locate the Holy Grail. I can't find my keys on most days.”

“Don't worry then.” Jared waves away the concern, then looks down. “I'll find it on the Internet. They do that now. You've worked hard enough for me.” He lets out a high yelp as Jensen yanks him backward so he has to lean far into the chest he's on and Jensen rests his cheek as pleased as any Alpha could be when he has his Omega trapped—well and good—within his arms. He snaps the picture, then flips the phone around so they both can look at the image. “ _ecch..._ ” Jensen is never pleased with any image of himself, no matter how many compliments he gets.

Jared scrambles up to get a better view. “ _awww..._ I _love_ it.” He does; it's one of his favorites—beside the one where he snuck a bite to his Alpha's jaw. “You look like...”

“ _A_ _dork?_ ” Jensen supplies how he thinks he looks on camera.

“No. Never.” Jared reaches out to pat Jensen's kneecap, keeping his hand there to rub and soothe. “But you look like you're in love with me.” He never meant for it to be said so quietly and matter-of-fact.

“ _jesus..._ don't tell me that.” Jensen rubs at his eyes, then comes around to smooth along his neck and nape. “Please don't say things like that when I haven't had time to process what I actually do feel.” He's upright and standing to move out of position, giving Jared back the phone.

“Sorry.” Because of Jensen's outright reaction, Jared is extremely interested in knowing. “I didn' mean—well, what _do_ you feel?”

“I don't know.” Jensen lifts up his foot from the step behind Jared, then crosses his arms to start pacing the porch floor. “I'm starting to think I'm crazy 'cuz I don't have any idea how I've lived without you for this long.” He turns his head to scratch at the back of his head, along the scalp, then the hairline. “I'm not sure if that's what we call ' _love_ ' or do we...” Jensen moves to twist and lean back on a porch post on the opposite side where Jared is still sitting. “Can we only claim the feelings once we've been—you know, closer than we have already been? But, physically, with our bodies?” Green eyes twist in an almost silent plea toward hazel. “...tell me I'm not alone here.”

“You aren't.” Jared gives out a groan as he climbs from his bent position, then walks methodically up the two steps. He puts away the cell phone, for now, because it's more important to ease his Alpha's worry and...fear? “It's only going to get worse, if we don't...uh, change up the pace a little.”

“ _...kick_ _it_ _up_ _a_ _notch_ _or_ _two?_ ” Jensen gives out his own interpretation.

Jared lifts one lone eyebrow as he approaches Jensen's tilted frame. “A comfortable notch where we won't be—”

“ _—_ _freaking_ _out_ _like_ _two_ _messed-up_ _virgins?_ ” Jensen has to keep his head at a low level because the closer Jared walks, the more he'll need to crane his neck to look directly at him. He's not ready for that—to see Jared's own true feelings pouring out of those hazel eyes.

Jared turns, glancing out over the huge backyard, like he's giving Jensen details about the 'temple' being built. “Nothin' says we can't _try_ sex, but...” He keeps his body facing out, but averts his eyes to look down at Jensen's face. “I'm not ready to disappoint you yet again.”

“You haven't and you won't— _ever_.” Jensen finally lifts his head, his eyes connecting with Jared's as he pushes off to stand straight. “I'm not even sure I'm ready to amp it up to _that_ level.” He's situating his body to stand close-by his Omega's, where their bodies and clothing brush. “I just learned you can sleep over. I need to work myself into _that_ frame of mind, then I'll tell you what I'll need next.” This is when Jensen twists his head to look at Jared, not even caring about what else could be going on around them.

Jared gives off a small snort-laugh with a burst of air through his nostrils, then bumps Jensen with his shoulder and biceps. “C'mon, we should get back inside.” He arcs his head to motion behind them. “We're gonna cause _them_ to think we're carrying on out here.”

Jensen can't help staring at Jared's face and eyes; it's too mesmerizing to look away now. “Tell _them_ we're only talking about the Omega Circle 'temple'—you're showing me where it'll go.” He's reaching out his right arm, hidden by both of their bodies and he's latching onto one of Jared's belt loops to drag him nearer.

Jared lets himself be tugged-on, then bumps hips with his Alpha. “eh, I would, but we haven't even told them it's going up.”

“If they ask, that'll be your answer...” Jensen hasn't looked away once, keeps intently gazing on Jared's face as the Omega has to avert his eyes. He shrugs as if he could care less; he does, but not right now he doesn't. “...then I suppose we'll _have_ to tell them.”

Jared bows his head, scraping teeth over his top lip to hold back a laugh or a smile. “ _—'bout_ _us_?”

“ ** _About_** ** _the_** ** _temple!_** ” Jensen should've known his Omega's only teasing him. He'll have to get better at noticing the “signs” or else he'll die of an early heart attack. “ _j_ _esus_... ** _stop_** ** _messin'_** ** _with_** ** _me,_** ** _Jay!_** ” He softly punches Jared's biceps, then gives him a gentle shove toward the back door into the kitchen.

“But I love to mess with you, Jen.” Jared likes making Jensen have to push him when he turns himself into an immovable object in his path. Sometimes, it's the only time they can touch in public. “Keeps you on your toes.”

==&&==&&==

 **TBC...**


	16. Chapter 16

The dinner went rather smoothly...no sign of flubs from Milo, though Adrian kept scooting his chair closer; his arm would go up and around the top rungs of his Omega's chair. Jared and Jensen had kept lifting brows and widening their eyes as their gazes would meet, both knowing where the mated couple were headed tonight. It had been easy to not think of themselves in the same boat; as if they were the seasoned old mated couple, who ho-hummed the idea of the young kids...scheduling to “getting their freak on”, fornicating like rabbits. Jared had disliked some of Jensen's facial movements because a few times he'd almost completed “spit-takes”, but then he would just swallow harder, making Jensen snicker, having to turn his head away.

It's weird when the meal is ending, dishes being cleared away as Jensen requests everyone remain behind for dessert and coffee—hot cocoa or tea, if preferred. Milo takes the option of hot tea, but not the specific blend Jared had given Jensen the other night. This is decaf and will settle his stomach from gurgling.

As everyone returns to their seats with mugs and plates in hand, Jensen adjust himself in his captain's chair, beginning with an opening to his speech. “Well...I'm thinking what I'm about to tell all of you is good news, for younger pack members, but—apparently, it's been decided that the ' _rites of passage_ ' many of us have taken with our old packs, when we were at puberty and again at 20-21 yrs of age, are now being arranged by pack committee on a volunteer basis until the ripe old age of 25.”

A few snickers flitter around the table, since most of the pack members are 25 or older, but they feel far from “old”.

“What is it, Jensen?” Adrian gestures with his chin to the packet Jensen keeps moving around with his fingers.

“Pack council, in conjunction with pack committee...” Jensen supplies with what he thinks might be the answer. His father was never clear on which one it had come from, simply that it had been voted on. “... _whichever_ , has developed a, uh...retreat to take in young pack members who wish to shift to their wolf forms without the fear of being hunted or maimed...maybe even killed.”

“But I thought all packs were to do this anyway.” Steve comments as he glances about at his fellow pack members, then stops on Jensen's face.

“Maybe they don't or they're not doing it safely, where every wolf returns to the pack home.” Jensen clears his throat, sitting back and resting his arm on one of the armrest. “Just like everybody else, I shifted at birth, but that's because a 'pup' can't control the transformation much beyond that first year.” He scrunches his brow in thought. “I think my mother Omega said I stayed a 'wolf pup' nearly my entire first year.”

Sophia snorts out a laugh as she nods her head. “So did I.” She takes a sip of her coffee, lips poised at the rim of her mug. “I hated shifting when I came of age as a Beta.” She drinks, then stares down at her hands. “It... _hurt_.” Sophia's eyes flutter up to connect with Steve's intent gaze, across from her. His dark eyebrows frown—like he's never known this about her—then he tilts his head to the side, sympathizing with her pain. She gives a small smile, then turns her head away to look at everyone else.

Milo shakes his head as he reaches out to lay a gentle hand on his Beta. “It hurt more because most likely you had been raised ' _human_ '.” He knows about her old traditionalist mentality and how strict her parents had been inside of the whole pack. Sophia pets over Milo's hand on her arm, giving a soft squeeze at his care and concern.

Chad is way-too interested in hearing about everyone's pack history, but more importantly, just their memories about doing this “shifting” thing or what some were calling “wolfing”. “How often did you shift, Mi'o?”

“Like everyone else, at birth and then again at puberty. The Omegas in my old pack led me through, letting me decide what form I'd take. I didn't mind ' _wolfing_ ', but I had the constant support.” Milo shrugs one shoulder, leaning his body toward Adrian. “I simply didn't feel like transitioning like some of my pack did. I was too busy moving on in my life once I mated with my Alpha.” He reaches out to take Adrian's hand in his, then keeps it on his thigh in a protective manner.

Steve clears his throat, sparing a small glance toward Sophia. “I did it all. Birth, puberty and then again at 21. I had just turned 21...” He sits back in his chair, shoving around his spoon on the table. “I tried to hunt...” Steve feels different pairs of eyes watching him, so he talks with his head bowed to chest. “—caught a squirrel, maybe some small insignificant bird.” He spares Chad a hard glare as he hears his Omega lightly snickering. “I'm just not made to be a ' _hunter_ '.”

“Well...” Adrian speaks up next. “...I ain't no killer, either. Same as everybody, too, but I refused to go out at 21. I know some of my kin still go ' _wolfing_ ' to this day. Annual trips I'm glad not to be a part of.” His words sound like they drip with some level of anger on them. Not that Adrian's ashamed of his backwoods old pack, but he has tried to keep himself separate from that old life as much as possible, because it does nothing for him anymore.

Jensen has been noticing Jared has been silent throughout the conversation, not even lifting his head. “What's your story, Jay— _red_.” _Christ!_ He had almost slipped and used the shorter version of his Omega's name.

“I can tell you half of it.” Milo smirks as he slides an arm across his Alpha's back. “He didn't shift right away, but...he did once he worked within my old pack. I don't know if he did anything at 21.”

“ _Jared?_ ” Chad gently elbows the quiet Omega next to him.

Jared glances up, looks around the table and his eyes eventually land on the only one he really wants to reveal his history to—the truth, not the lie he's about to utter, “uh, yeah...pretty much what Milo said. But when I came into the company I work for, at 20-21, I was too busy training to think 'bout ' _shifting_ '.” He scratches a thumbnail over his brow. “Some packs don't want it mentioned ever again, others want the extra support for loved ones in puberty. Some guides assist with expectant mothers that first year, ones who fear their 'pup' might go rabid or bite them. It's encouraged for the mothers to shift, if the 'pup' is a wolf for longer than a few hours once coming out of the womb. Tha's why it's better to have packs with more than one Omega—should the 'wolf pup' need that permanent wolf mother.”

Chad's gaze moves about the table. “Anyone know what Chris' story is?”

Jensen and Steve look to one another, shrug, then Steve speaks first, “Chris started performing from an early age. I'm certain he shifted at birth, but not for how long he lasted. Jen?”

“I met Chris at 14.” Jensen starts to tell his history with Christina, but he can only go so far. “He didn't shift then, but I know he mentioned he had at the on-set of puberty. I'm with Steve, in that I'm most definite he never shifted at 20-21.”

“So...” Chad sighs as he seems to have the answer he needs to make his own decision. “...it sounds like everyone's on the negative 'bout this ' _shifting_ ' or _'wolfing_ ' thing.”

 **_“ No. ”  
“Well...”   
“I wouldn't say negative at all.”_ **

Sophia coughs and takes a sip of her drink. “We're too watered-down, Chad. We've modernized to such a fault, we can all pass as humans. It's just us and our other pack members who know our truths. Shifting adds another step to our lives that—I don't know—for me, I think we do enough to stay traditionalists, which is where I've always been most comfortable.”

“Look, man...” Steve clasps a hand on Chad's shoulder. “I hear a lot of them say that ' _wolfing_ ' at this stage, when you're just at the cusp of finding out who you are—to know where you stand as Omega—it can center you even more to know purpose and transcend your mind from thinking too human-like.” He shakes his head as if he's refusing to conform his old ways, like he's pretty satisfied and happy with who he is. “I'm terribly stubborn and set in my ways. Like Soph, I think ' _wolfing_ ', right now, at my age...gives me nothing but a second alternate life I don't really wanna deal with. This one is tough enough.”

 **_“Amen.”  
“Preach on, brother Beta.”_ **

Chad glances down at Jensen. “Then, it's okay if I say ' _no_ '?”

“Yes, it is.” Jensen feels a bit guilty now, because no one spoke out in full support of the “wolfing” retreat. Like his whole pack had this one thing in common with him he never even knew about. “It won't be a strike on your pack public record. But every six months, 'til you're past 25, you'll be getting this same envelope.” Jensen points down to the envelope in question, then slides it back across the table toward Chad. He sits forward and entangles his hands and fingers on the table surface. “You won't know when it shows, but maybe it'll come when you least expect it and you need that kind of reassurance in understanding who you truly are.”

“And, uh...if I'm carrying by then— _whatever_ , uhm...” Chad is only wondering this because Milo seems to have slipped under the wire by a mere hair—either 25 is when they stop or they leave expectant mother Omegas alone. “I'll still get the packet?”

The whole table doesn't look at Chad, but at each other, then toward their lead Alpha who seems a bit startled by the question.

“Probably.” Jensen is only guessing. “I don't think it matters that you had, or will be having, a 'pup'.”

“But...” Chad shucks his thumb over toward his left side. “...Jared jus' said if the 'pup' shifts and needs a wolf mother, whether it be Milo's or my own...do I hafta have gone to _that place_ to shift or something?” If the whole deal came to him with official documents and letters from important people in pack council, he simply wondered how they'd keep track if he changed into wolf form or not—if ever.

Jared takes this answer on, placing a comforting hand on Chad's forearm. “You can shift at any time, Chad. You _don't_ need a special retreat or the safety of the big redwoods in some forest to transform.” He hadn't known that pack council would attempt to interfere inside the sanctuaries; hopefully they weren't going to both with the spiritual guide centers. “You can even do it now, if you wanted.” Jared glances at the table, then back to Chad with a reassuring smile. “But we won't because I'm done putting you on display for your pack.”

Chad sniffles out a snicker, then tilts his head in a mock-thanks. But now he's got a new curiosity. “ _You_ can help me shift? You an' Milo?” He points and then glances between both of his brother Omegas.

“Well, Milo probably never mentioned it to you, but...” Jared looks across at his brother Omega. “—when he hit his heat, that time at the studio when you got him through, did he shift at all?”

Milo doesn't mind revealing what had occurred. “He tried to, but he was too into his human pain to even feel much like a wolf.” He notices that Chad averts his eyes as he bows his head. “If it's any consolation, Chad...your fur's really soft...”

The whole table erupts in chuckles, everybody feeling relaxed and at ease.

The only one _not_ feeling too at ease—Jared—rises to pick up the dirty dishes, asking if anyone wants refills or if they need anything else from the kitchen. The pack members are standing to disperse and it already looks as if Adrian and Milo are heading upstairs for an early night—it's only a little after 7:30pm.

Jared notices that Jensen says “good night” to them with a slight smirk to his mouth. Jared wanders back to the sink, feeling two thick, strong arms hug him awkwardly from behind. “ _What_ , Chad?” He doesn't need to look to know who this is. It's the ridiculous way Chad embraces and drapes his body over Jared's huge back.

“Mi'o's so teeny-tiny and waify...” Chad lays his cheek down flat, then brings up his right hand to use his fingers to begin to draw patterns over the shirt material on the warm skin. “...I practically drown him.”

“You're _extra_ -clingy tonight? Wha's up?” Jared looks over his left shoulder, then moves to his right where Chad's face is laying.

“I hear you might be my bed-mate.” The fingers stop drawing and now intimately caress in a way that would frighten most pack members, but not Jared. “I don't think I've ever just slept platonically with another person...ever. _m_ _mm_...you're so warm an' cuddle-worthy—you'll drive me batty all night.” Chad gives the large torso another hard squeeze. “I won't get enough of you.”

Jared can't help but snicker low as he shakes his head. “Is this your way of politely refusing my company?”

“eh, I've been without my Alpha, bro...” Chad pats the hunched back, then drops his hand to smooth over the backside. “...you're the one choosing your own fate in my bed.”

“Sophia is looking like the better prospect every second.” Jared teases as he tries to shove Chad off of his body.

Chad ruffles Jared's hair. “I love ya like kin, man, but I likes me my sleepy-space more.”

“Understood, bro.”

“No offense.”

“None taken.” Jared does a final hard shove to get Chad off, then takes a wet dishcloth with a dry one thrown over his shoulder, thinking the dining room was completely empty. “ _ohshit_...sorry, Jensen...”

“ _nono_...I'm glad it's you.” Jensen pinches the bridge of his nose, looking behind Jared into the kitchen, then at other entrances into the dining hall. “Did you see how eager the lovebirds were to make a hasty retreat?”

“ _oh, yeah..._ ” Jared chuckles softly as he begins to wipe down the other end of the table, away from his Alpha.

Jensen sighs heavily as he crosses an ankle over a knee and leans back. “Although, to be fair, it's probably going to be them _talking_ all night, catching up and sharing their day until they both pass out from being totally exhausted.”

“ _Really_?” Jared stands to fold the cloth over to find a cleaner square to wash the table with. “Even after all of that sexual tension has been built-up?” He can't believe that they would simply sleep and not have sex; he imagined most mated couples went to bed, had sex, then would go to sleep.

“They're _mated_. It's _their_ bed. They have all the time in the world to be intimate.” Jensen narrows his eyes on Jared's features as he lets the information sink in.

Jared dries the half he's just cleaned. “How are _you_ doing?” He watches as his Alpha puts down both feet, then sits forward in his chair, leaning on the surface Jared's about ready to wash down.

“What do you mean?” Jensen simply moves his elbows, and arms, out of Jared's way. “Like, will I jump your bones or let you actually sleep tonight?”

“Jensen...” Jared makes quick work of washing the edge where Jensen leans, then dries it even faster.

“ _all right-all right_...sorry. I'm still stuck on this ' _wolfing_ ' thing an' wondering why you chose to lie to my pack.” Jensen pushes to stand, then wanders over to the side where Jared is to sit his backside on the table, hitching a hip up so he can turn to face him as they converse.

“oh, you caught _that_?” Jared stands there, folding and re-folding the wet washcloth; he gives off a light chuckle from the side of his mouth.

“Is it sacred to guiding?” Jensen swishes his hands from side-to-side, hoping for some type of explanation. “Do you still shift even as we're here in this room?”

“Only when I have to.” Jared turns a chair around, then takes a seat. “For packs. And—” This is the portion of his explanation that keeps him quiet.

“And— _what_?”

Jared places both the wet and dry cloths on the table, crossing an ankle over his knee as he webs his fingers together and settles the bond over his stomach. “Spiritual guides, when they train, are assigned mentors—one who tends to us in human form, the other in wolf. Some are special enough to have chosen to remain permanently transitioned. They're wolf guides and they, uh...” He scratches at the back of his scalp, keeping his eyes lowered. “...act as companions to us when we're human. But they also watch over when we shift.”

Jensen furrows his brow in deep thought. “You don't walk with your wolf guide all the time?” If Jared has a wolf as a companion, he wondered why he didn't have the animal with him.

Jared shakes his head as he lifts up his eyes before he raises his head. “No. I would, if she were allowed to leave the sanctuary.” He catches the way Jensen's eyes bulk at the mention of the wolf being a “she”.

“The ' _wolf_ ' sanctuary?” Jensen adds the descriptive detail so he's not mistaken.

“yeah...sorry.” Jared keeps lowering and lifting his eyes as he plays with the fingers of one hand. “Are you mad at me?” He had known the closer he and Jensen became, he would one day have to start to talk about what he actually did at the spiritual center, and at the wolf sanctuaries.

“No. Why would I be?” Jensen puts down his foot to slide along further to stand in front of Jared. “It's not something you have to do all the time, is it?” He crosses his hands at his back, then sits down on the edge of the table.

“No. Only when I'm working, at the sanctuary or at the spiritual guide center, which is near the sanctuary.” Jared finds it intriguing that Jensen doesn't seem turned-off by the notion he transitions to his wolf form still to this day.

“So...” Jensen smirks from one side of his mouth, then folds his arms over his chest as he tucks his hands under his biceps. “...what do you look like when you're a wolf?” It's pretty enticing to know more about his Omega, the more time they spend together and talk.

“I don't know. I'm not really aware.” Jared wrinkles his forehead, then grins as if he's a little embarrassed. “Probably dark browns, like my own hair—-maybe blacks and darker reds.”

“If I asked nicely, would you shift for me one night?” Jensen smiles when he sees Jared hesitate. “I'll do it with you.” He motions with his chin to the back of the house, where the yard is too huge and still remains devoid of anything remotely useful or exciting. “We'll shift in the backyard, then go terrorize my neighborhood.”

“ _oh, god..._ ” Jared covers both hands over his face, but then combs all his fingers through his bangs as he looks over at his Alpha. “...you're so bad...” He sits up fast, then leans forward a little to shift closer to Jensen. “—there's that rebellious Alpha again.” Jared glances over Jensen's body in a hurried up-and-down fashion as if he's giving him a once-over. “You haven't even shifted since you were 13, Jen.”

Jensen understands what Jared is trying to say to him, but he still wants to attempt it. “I tried when I was 21 with my father...” He shakes his head as he rubs at his eyes. “...and his damn rouse of a hunting trip.”

Jared now knows why Jensen feels the way he does about ' _wolfing_ '. “You thought it would be a father/son bonding moment?” He nods and gives a small smile of acceptance.

Jensen keeps his chin bowed, staring at his shoe tips. “Instead, he made it a grand spectacle where I felt like I was performing my Alpha abilities. It scared me to ' _wolfing_ ' for years. But...” He tilts his head, giving Jared a side-glance with a half-smile. “I'm sure with the right mate by my side I could learn to appreciate it more.”

“Steve's right.” Jared stands, reaching out to pick up the two cloths, but he remains still near Jensen's side, inhaling him and sharing their combined warmth. He twists his head to stare down at Jensen. “It truly does allow one to see deeper into the self—-beyond human, past wolf and into this weird combination of both.” Jared barely skims a hand down the side of Jensen's cheek, then settles his palm over a broad shoulder. “Where two become one.”

“ _jesus_...” Jensen keeps his head averted, but he turns his face toward Jared, like he's searching for more than just the simple touch. “...is that where the phrase ' _embrace your wolf_ ' comes from?”

“Sort of.” Jared laughs, then twists to sit down next to his Alpha, making sure their arms brush. “It's not an embrace as much as you merge or meld into one whole being.” Every time he says “one whole being”, he likes to state the words near Jensen's ear.

“Is it trippy?” Jensen can only imagine what a massive change in emotions and feelings it must be. He can only see himself doing this with someone he trusts and respects, possibly loves and cares for.

“Eh, pretty trippy.” Jared looks away, staring off into the distance at the wall, then drops down to look at Jensen. “I feel...enlightened when I return to me—to being Jared.”

“Your wolf has a separate name?” Jensen lifts up one eyebrow in curiosity.

Jared keeps watch on Jensen's face, making sure these are bits of information he really wants to know. “uh, yes, but it's difficult to pronounce in English.”

Jensen hasn't heard any of that stuff since he was a little 'pup', when his elders would come visit. “It's the old wolf language, isn't it?”

“Yeah. It looks like gibberish, if I spelled it out or tried to.” Jared grips the table ledge at the side of his knees. He leans his right cheek on his shoulder, gazing intently at Jensen. “It's mostly throat sounds.”

“ _mmm..._ ” Jensen shifts his left hand over to cover Jared's on the table's edge. “...I am so damned turned on right now.” He lets his fingers play over a few digits before he pulls away, then pushes off to stand. “Finish the table, then follow me into my office.”

“uh, sure-sure...what— _ever_...” Jared wasn't expecting for Jensen to run away from him that fast, but before he could finish his words Jensen was already gone.

==&&==&&==

They didn't do much else but work on getting Jared's phone set up. Jensen hadn't been lying when he had mentioned the cell phone agent who would handle his account lived for a new addition to the plan. Jared thinks things are fairly lackluster until they look in on Chad, Steve and Sophia in the entertainment room, watching television; they bid them a collective “goodnight” and leave to go upstairs together, without anyone aware they would be entering the same bedroom.

“... _god_...” As they climb the staircase, nearly side-by-side, Jared speaks on their way to Jensen's bedroom. “...why do I feel bad leading poor Sophia astray?”

“Soph wouldn't mind that you were with me.” Jensen takes the lead in front of Jared. “In fact, I think she already believes there's _something_ between us. Just not how far we've taken this.” He leaves his bedroom door wide open for Jared to walk through and shut, but he notices Jared's not following. “Not again. _Dammit, Jay..._ ”

“ _no, no_...this is _something_ else.” Jared sticks out his hand, palm forward to defend his reasons. “I feel different and things are changing between us. I'm just...afraid of squandering these kind of ' _firsts_ ' and treating them like mundane moments.” He wants Jensen to know how much he appreciates the littlest things he does or him. “I've never been allowed the freedoms to walk inside of a home like I can here.”

Jensen is utterly floored that some packs can be so regimental and close-minded. “You really _did_ have to ask permission for almost everything? Even just to be inside of a room?” It explains a lot in why Jared always stops at thresholds and asks to be allowed inside.

“Some packs, and pack members, are sensitive to outsiders. It's all fear of the unknown, nothing more.” Jared grabs the knob and closes the door on his own. He looks giddy like a little kid. “Should I lock it?”

Jensen can't help smiling in kind, absorbing every bit of Jared's wonderment at such new experiences. “I don't, usually, but maybe we should as a precaution.”

Jared still lays on the paneling, then twists the lock behind his back to hear the click. “ _...god...this feels decadent and kinda naughty._ ”

Jensen smirks appropriately, wandering in further, passing the chair and ottoman from the night before. “What's _this_ stuff?” He's halfway to unbuttoning his shirt when he notices the unfamiliar objects in the cushions.

There were sleep clothes for Jared strewn over the soft suede and leather, and a pile of Jared's possession he's willing to part with to keep Jensen company—to have his scent with him or the need to feel him near handy. “uh, the clothing on the chair is my sleepwear, but, uh...the things on the ottoman are, uhm...for you.”

“For _me_? Wha—? Why?”

“You saw me take your jacket at work?”

“I did, but you traded it for a coat you were wearing.” Jensen shrugs one shoulder in nonchalance. “No big deal.”

“Very. Big. Deal, _love_...see, 'cuz after tonight, depending on how this goes, whether it's just sleep or we have sex— _whatever occurs_...both of us will feel the draw toward the other.” Jared stops talking so fast when he catches how stiff Jensen becomes. He wanders close, a hand extended so he can place a calming touch to the back. “You saw what it did when we just felt the other was lonely. We wanted to keep one another company, be beside or with the other.” He soothes across the broad shoulders to then drop down and trace along the curved spine. “It'll get worse before it gets, uh...tempered.”

Jensen glances to the side at Jared. “Like the pull I've felt for you all day?”

“yes...” Jared nods his head as he brings up his hand again to now curl about the opposite shoulder. “...we'll be laying together. Our scent will be shared and all over the other, whether we truly place claim or— _whatever happens_.” He notices how awkward Jensen begins to look when it sounds like Jared's about to say “sex or knotting”. “It won't go away. The feelings. The scents.” Jared tries to step in front of Jensen so he can grab both of his shoulders and sit him down somewhere to catch a breath; he looks like he's about to faint or throw-up. “It'll be with us 'til the next time we can be together.”

“ _jesus_...” Jensen rubs a shaking hand over his brow, combing through his spikes. “...we seriously never thought this through.”

Jared keeps his arm around Jensen's shoulders to hold him to his chest. “I think we'll be all right, as long as we stay two steps ahead. It's why I took your jacket and gave you my coat.” He releases his Alpha once he sees him trying to push away. Jared gestures toward the chair as Jensen can't seem to take his eyes off the area. “Now, uhm...this is a pile of a few possessions of mine I'm not gonna mind parting with.”

Jensen has to swallow hard because he's a little nervous. It's starting to become more real than any moment he's ever been in with an Omega, and he's about to cry. “I, uh...lemme collect my own clothes to sleep in and I'll, uhm...change in the bathroom— _yeah...tha's what I'll do..._ ” He states the last part under his breath.

“Jensen...” Jared attempts to grab Jensen, but he's too spry.

“... ** _no_**...not now....” Jensen is at his dresser, hands shaking and he's yanking out a t-shirt and thin sweat pants. “... _please, not now_...”

“ _...jen, wait..._ ” Jared had no idea the moment would be _that_ overwhelming. He can tell the tears rising in Jensen's eyes, his face reddening in splotches.

Jared gives Jensen the breathing space, using the bedroom to quickly change out of his clothes into his sleep ones. He places his dirty laundry over the chair's armrest, then walks over to the open bathroom door. He knocks on the molding, leaning on the wall. “May I come in?”

“uh, yeah...sure...c'mon...” Jensen is making room at the sink for Jared to join him. “Need to brush your teeth?”

“no, you idiot...” Jared passes through the doorway, leaning on the edge of the door to cross his arms in a V-formation over his front. “I was worried about you. Thought you might need—I don't know...a reassuring hug.” He's going to try and explain himself to make sure Jensen knows they're in this moment together. “I'm not—I've got no set expectations, nothing for you to live up to. It's just...I didn't mean to frighten you back there. I'd rather we be prepared then caught unawares and having to reveal ourselves too soon. Before we have a chance to work out our selves together.”

“I know. I'm...” Jensen stops brushing to spit, then stands back upright. “...this feels more real, and so close to what I've always wanted. I'm a little on edge.”

“I'm right here too, _love_.” Jared's wrapping his left arm around his Alpha's shoulders, then squeezing, but gets no reaction; Jensen makes his whole body go limp. “I promise.” He nudges his face into the side of Jensen's head, then stays against the soft skin and hair. Gradually, he feels Jensen loosening his tense body. “This isn't as easy for me as I make it seem. Maybe I've been guiding for too long when I do it so naturally in real life, I don't realize it.”

Jensen goes into his medicine cabinet to pull out an unopened toothbrush. “Here. It's yours, when you're here.”

“What?” Jared drops his arm with a small pout to his bottom lip. He's looking at Jensen's reflection in the mirror. “No hug?”

“ _jesus, Jay..._ ” Jensen squirms out of Jared's reach.

“ _hehehe_ , never mind.” Jared intentionally bumps his hip against Jensen's body. “Still too much right now— _got it_. I'll behave an' brush my teeth.” He takes the brush out of the packaging, then wets the bristles to then cover them with toothpaste.

Jensen shakes his head at how stupid he's being, then looks at Jared under lowered lashes into the mirror. “Now I seem like a lunatic 'cuz I'm flipping out over a fuckin' hug.”

“eh, my hugs are pretty **_ah_** _-mazing_.” Jared starts to brush and talk. “Go out. Look at my stuff I'm giving you. I'll explain everything to you when I'm done.”

“Should I start...” Jensen feels like he has to catch up to Jared's speed; his mind is going a mile a minute in what to offer Jared along with his jacket. “Do you want more than the jacket?...'cuz I got a lotta plaid shirts I can spare—and t-shirts to go with them.” He puts away his brush, then walks around Jared's back to head through the open doorway, but stops to hang off the door molding. “Well, whatever's in my closet you like—shirtwise...you can take. Some things in there I don't even wear or know that I still have.”

“—'kay.” Jared speaks around the brush in his mouth, nodding his head as he stares at Jensen and how quickly he bounced back. “We can decide that later. No rush.”

“All right...” Jensen leaves the bathroom, but not before he goes around and picks up his own dirty clothes. No way is he going to make Jared clean up after him.

Jared only takes five more minutes, rinses, gargles and places his new toothbrush next to Jensen's in the stainless steel dispenser; he shuts the clear lid to sanitize them and keep them from getting covered in germs. The image makes him tingle a bit, like he's really becoming a part of a pack...a true family, and he has a real home to call his own. _oh, yeah..._ Jensen isn't the only one feeling overwhelmed tonight. Not by a long shot. He shuts off the light and steps out, noticing that Jensen is seated on the bed—his side of the mattress—with all of Jared's “gifts” piled on his lap; the covers are pushed to some formation at the end of the bed-frame.

Jared can't help noticing that the same spot from last night is ready for him. “I like to wear a hoodie on over any of my shirts.” He climbs on to settle down as if he's always been here. He knocks shoulders with his Alpha. “I put them under a jacket in winter—adds headgear. In summer or spring, I jus' throw the hoodie on over my clothes. It's kind of my ' _signature_ ' piece.”

Jensen drapes the chocolate brown hoodie, which is thick like some of his plaid shirts when he's outside doing manual labor, over his left shoulder as he touches the next piece of clothing that looks exactly like the gown he saw Milo wearing this morning—handmade and extremely extravagant. “ _...an' this?_ ” It appears to be smaller and slightly different than what Milo had on.

“It's one of my first, and oldest, Omega Circle ceremonial gowns—Milo may have one or two of his own. We would get new ones every year on our birthdays or whenever we stepped up in ranks as spiritual guides once we're out of our old packs.” Jared reaches out to touch the same material his Alpha is caressing; their fingers meet and entwine. “This is when I was starting out...I was away from home—far away—an' no idea I'd ever return. I was a newcomer to my own spiritual path.” He clears his throat as he leans against the headboard and holds onto Jensen's fingers. “I don't even know if I fit the gown anymore, but I know I don't need it. I carry some of them in my bags, so this one has been with me the longest. You don't have to wear it— _as is_. It doesn't have any bearing on your life except in sentimental value for your Omega— _me_.” Jared goes back to touching the gown's texture. “The material is beautiful; the hand stitching is gorgeous. If you wanted, you could make a few smaller projects out of this gown.”

Jensen quietly shakes his head, chin bowed to chest as he's way-too emotional over these old possessions of Jared's. “ _This?_ ” He holds up a piece of thick curved leather, two-inches in length. There are leather strings dangling off the backside in a criss-cross fashion, like it could be “tied” to something or someone.

“Now, this...this is gonna feel odd to you, but this is my wolf name carved in leather, along with my wolf profile...” Jared has to turn the elongated leather bracelet to show Jensen the delicate etchings in the low lighting from the bedside lamps. “It's not a true representation of what I'd look like, but...it's what I wear at times, like a, uh...I.D. badge when I'm at the guide center or the sanctuary. Don't worry, I have more of these. The leather will wear down and the strings often break off.”

“Put it on me.” Jensen holds out his right arm with a slight sniffle to his breathing pattern.

“ _huh?_ ”

“The band. Put it on me.”

“Now? It's kinda thick an' uncomfortable. You might not be able to sleep with it on.”

“It's a part of you. It's one thing you've given me I can wear in front of you, to show you respect.”

Jared touches a few fingers to Jensen's flushed cheek, then takes the leather bracelet into his hands. “Which one is your predominant hand?”

Jensen shakes his right in the air, then watches Jared take his left arm. “But...”

“You don't want it on the wrist of the hand you use most; it'll annoy you. Trust me.” Jared's own hands shake a little when he laces the rest of the way up the underside of the forearm, then ties the strings. “It'll feel tight at first, but wearing it often lets the leather conform to your own skin. Try not to wear it a lot or you'll get burns or sometimes rashes where the leather edges chafe.” Jared keeps caressing Jensen's sensitive, pale skin. “Looks good on you.”

“I'll keep the gown— _as is_.” There's no way Jensen is going to defile a piece of his Omega's personal history. “The hoodie...I'll have use for, but not right now.”

“Obviously.” Jared bites tenderly at his thumb and thumbnail as he watches Jensen roll over to his own nightstand and how delicately he treats the gown and the hoodie as he piles them in one stack; he'll put them away later.

“I mean it, Jay.” Jensen scoots back over, he's settling his body lower on the mattress, his head fitting in a niche in the plush pillowcase. “Raid my closet anytime from now until... _whenever_.” He lifts his left arm and curves the limb above his head.

Jared slinks down in the bed too, still turned to face his Alpha. “oh, I will. I do your laundry, you know.”

“Oh, **_I_** know. Too efficiently at times.” Jensen slowly blinks, then glances over at Jared. “I have enough clothes that I used to be able to go weeks without washing.”

Jared curls his left arm under his head as he lays down high along the piled pillows. “I can get you on a better, more flexible schedule. I don't have to do your laundry with the rest of the packs.”

“I don't really want you to do it at all—or the dishes. Or...” Jensen realizes he's about to put his foot down and tell his Omega _not_ to do something that obviously gives him peace. “...well, it's not such a big deal if it makes you feel happy.”

“Not happy, jus' purposeful.” Jared rolls over so now he's resting on his elbows and his stomach; he kicks up his feet at the end of the bed, sometimes crossing his ankles. “Like I'm needed.”

“You _are_. By _me_.” Jensen intentionally stares at Jared to let him know how serious he is.

“Of course...now I'm needed elsewhere, but...” Jared bends his left elbow to rest his head on the hand. “...if you had already been mated, and I was simply here as Milo's family, I'd do it 'cuz it...”

 **_“...needs to get done.”_ **

**_“—needs to 'get done'.”_ **

“ _oh, boy._ ” Jared snickers as he drops face-first into the mattress, feeling fingers rustle through the back of his head in a playful manner. “Do I say that a lot?”

“You do.” Jensen pulls back his hand before Jared lifts his head, giving his Omega a broad smile. “It's our famous ' _Jared catchphrase_ ' around the house.”

Jared lifts both eyebrows and rolls his eyes. “Well, at least I'm keeping you all entertained.”

Jensen tugs on Jared to show him that he should roll or flip again to lay on his back, settle himself on a pillow. “We should lay down and try to get some sleep.”

“Should we?” Jared does the difficult action of rolling toward Jensen to almost push him over to his side of the mattress more.

“I think so.” Jensen pops right back upright. “Covers?” He motions down with one hand toward the end of the bed.

“You cold?” Jared raises an eyebrow in curiosity, because he's pretty warm already.

“Not now, but I might be later tonight.”

“So... _halfway_?” Jared offers out another option.

“Sure.” Jensen moves to reach over and shut off his bedside lamp, then sees that Jared is doing the same. He lays back down. Their arms brush and he fits his hand inside Jared's. “Feels less frightening if I can hold your hand.”

Their vocal tones are low in the semi-darkness; it's quite soothing.

Jared squeezes the shape, his head turning toward Jensen. “I'm glad I'm here, _love_.”

“Me too.” Jensen connects eyes and smiles. “It's strange, but...I'm starting to get tired.” He yawns wide to prove his point, trying to cover his mouth with his other hand.

“How do you normally sleep?” Jared notices Jensen's confusion. “What position do you sleep in?”

“On my stomach or my side.”

Jared rises to his elbows. “Which side you wanna try?”

“Right.” Jensen has slightly risen to his forearms as well. “That way I can lay behind you.”

“oh, okay...'cuz we can lay facing one another too.”

“nah, I like it better— _spooning_.”

Jared turns on to his right side, not expecting Jensen to extend his right arm for him to rest his head on. “It'll go numb, _love_.” He's hesitant to placing his head on the thick biceps, but it's so damn tempting.

“I don't care, jus' lay down on it.” Jensen doesn't want to grumble or growl. He's attempting to make a notch for himself in his pillow before he has Jared nestled within his arms. “We'll move in sleep.”

Jared stops talking, able to see those lids shut in dire need of some rest for his utter exhaustion. In the shadowed darkness, he can now see how tired his Alpha looks, so he rests his head on the arm, while Jensen locks an arm about his middle to pull him into his chest as they align their bodies in a slight curve.

==&&==&&==

Jared doesn't know what stirs him awake, but he lays still, letting his eyes drift open, feeling the glorious warmth around, though he's only covered by the layers of blankets to below his waist. He reaches up with his left hand to tuck under his cheek, almost forgetting he was resting on Jensen's extended right arm—it had to be painfully numb by now. Jared lifts up on his elbows and starts to kiss the pale skin, massaging blood-flow along the way.

Jensen's face is buried deep in the pillows; he doesn't stir with Jared's movements. Jared takes that as an opportunity where he can watch his Alpha sleep—undisturbed. He gives Jensen back his arm, safely tucking the limb to the body, then he folds a pillow under his head to turn and look at the beautiful slumbering features. He can't help but, every so often, reach out to lightly caress a fingertip over the soft flesh, skimming lips and brushing over long lashes and darker eyebrows.

A few times Jensen opens and closes his mouth, with nostrils flaring, but for the most part, he remains asleep as Jared lays like he is, eyes eventually shutting as he watches. He throws an arm around Jensen and settles back into slumber.

Jensen wakens next, some feeling coming back to his right arm; he finds himself pinned to Jared's side within the confines of one single, muscular arm. His own limbs trapped to his frame, Jensen lifts up to caress over the biceps across his chest. He shifts to his back, staring at the ceiling. He closes his eyes, soaks up the sensations of Jared beside him—around him, then slowly rolls to his left, back facing his Omega. He holds onto the arm, tenderly sliding down to the hand as he falls back asleep.

When Jared wakes up next, it's to find the space next to him empty and the sheets a little chilled. He must've been laying on Jensen's body because he's been left in the same position—half of his front is flat to the mattress. He rises to his left elbow, then rubs his face to stifle a yawn. He moves to sit upright and listens closely to the sounds of the house. Jensen isn't in the bathroom, so he must be downstairs. Jared decides to sit back against the headboard to wait for his Alpha's return. He pulls the covers up to his stomach.

The bedroom door opens. Jensen tip toes inside, then re-closes the paneling with the quietest of actions. He re-locks the door as he turns back around to find Jared sitting up in bed, laying on the pillows. “Sorry. How long you been awake?”

==&&==&&==

 **TBC...**


	17. Chapter 17

“Not long.” Jared bends his knees beneath the comforter and sheets, then leans forward to wrap his arms around his legs; he's got one arm almost completely around while the other hangs onto the forearm. “You?” He lifts up one side of his mouth in a slight grin.

Slowly pacing across the carpet, Jensen scratches at his scalp. “Got up to take a piss, then I needed to go downstairs to get something from my office.” He slides along the edge of the bed-frame, standing in front of the nightstand as he unbinds the bracelet Jared gave him earlier tonight; Jensen's going to need more time to adjust to wearing it, but not while sleeping. He climbs back in, handing Jared a water bottle. “In case you're thirsty.” Jensen settles back down in his spot.

“Are you?” Jared twists the cap off, willing to share.

“A little.” Jensen quickly tucks his freezing legs under the blankets, then leans back against the pillows to swipe an arm over his brow. “God... had no idea I was that exhausted.” He makes quite a vocal sound with his yawn.

Jared hands Jensen the bottle, letting their fingers brush. “We stayed up _late_ last night.”

“I feel...good. Better.” Jensen turns to look at Jared. He knows he's acting strange enough for Jared to become curious.

“I'm rested, so I feel _really_ good.” Jared wipes at the corners of his mouth, then looks at the way Jensen fidgets and peels at the water bottle's label. “Is everything okay?” He's only curious because it looks like whatever item Jensen had been in search of was important; Jensen seems preoccupied and slightly jittery.

“What? Oh, yeah...yes, things are good.” Jensen sits off the pillowcase, setting the bottle between his legs. He's pulled off pieces of the paper label and rolls them around in between his fingers. “When I was searching for the cell phone, I started looking for something else.” Jensen glances at Jared once, then turns away to look straight forward. “I had thought I kept it in either of the lock-box safes in my office—couldn't find it.”

Jared squeezes his arms around his legs, laying his head on his biceps to keep looking over at his Alpha. “...so you let some time pass to think harder.”

“Yeah.” Jensen nods his head, bowing chin to chest. “I'd forgotten I had taken the item out with a bunch of other family heirlooms to store away, outside the house. Some of the more valuable family possessions.” He gives off a relieved smile, but he keeps staring ahead as he releases a soft chuckle. “Thank God I have such a frenetic mind when I'm nervous, otherwise I'd have been looking for this thing, fearful I'd lost it for good.”

“Good. I'm glad.” Jared tilts his head, to and fro, to crack his neck, then unbends his legs to stretch out. “Did you put it back in the safe?”

“No...” Finally, Jensen feels calm and centered enough to look directly toward his Omega. “...because the item I was looking for will belong to you.”

“ _...t-t-to-me? I'm not..._ ” Jared is a little spooked, pushing off the headboard to glance down as he sees Jensen take out a small box he had tucked away in the pocket of his sleep pants with a well-known jeweler's name embossed on the lid. “ _ohmy..._ ” Now it's Jared's turn to not be able to lift his head as he stares at the little box.

Jensen holds out his hand, palm up where the box sits precariously. “I was given two pack rings of the Ackles lineage to give to my Beta and my Omega, but once I decided that I'd never seek out a Beta, I returned one of them to my father. He wasn't pleased, but I felt less pressure.” He clears his throat to go on, “then, uh...my mother Beta and Omega gave me a second ring—I think it's from a long line of Ackles Betas and Omegas who've mated with my elders...my great gran'father or my gran' father.” Jensen is nervous since Jared simply keeps staring and not reaching out to grab or touch, so he rearranges the box in his hand to soothe a thumbpad over the suede lid. “It's a special _mating_ ring. Neither of my siblings have one, but **_I_** do.” He snorts out a snicker from his nostrils with bursts of air. “Somehow I think my mothers knew I'd meet my perfect mate one day and it would be a match made without the old trappings of pack life. That we'd meet, get to know one another then fall in love.”

Jared watches closely as Jensen opens the lid and displays the two gorgeous rings—one tucked in above, the other below. “ _oh, love..._ ” He wants to place a hand to his frantically beating heart, but the back of that hand moves to cover his mouth to keep it from hanging open.

“It's not—” Jensen frowns as he realizes it can seem like a type of pressure toward his Omega to bend to his will. “—there's _no_ requirement for you to wear either right now. Mostly because I think we're struck dumb with what to do and neither of us wants to screw what we have up. I feel like I need you to know how serious I am about us and how genuine my feelings are starting to become.” He shuts the box, then places it on the blankets covering Jared's legs. “Put the box on the nightstand, for now.” Jensen starts to shuffle around like he's going to go back to sleep. “We should get more rest.” He wants to make it not feel like a huge deal, but then also not make Jared think he's just being flippant.

Jared is struck speechless and immovable; he _does_ place the ring box on the surface of the nightstand, facing out toward him, in a robotic-like movement. He senses moisture gathering behind his eyes as he frantically wipes at his lids to not blubber while in bed as he turns to settle down on his right side.

As if Jensen can feel how disquieted Jared is, he gathers his Omega into his arms, pulling him backward to lay aligned with his body; their hands are wrapping around each other and their legs are entangling.

Jensen tucks his face into Jared's neck. “ _ssshhh-sshhh...you're okay...we're okay...I'm here..._ ” He pets back the dark bangs. “You're not alone anymore...an' you'll always have a home. Not just a pack, but a _real_ home.”

Jared hugs Jensen's hands, and limbs, to his chest. “ _...thank_ _you..._ ” He states the words in an almost breathless tone.

“no— _thank_ **_you_**...” Jensen can't help but soothe his face along Jared's cheek and hair, cooing softly in an ear. “...for so much more than you'll ever know.”

==&&==&&==

Jensen is the one who shifts first, an hour or so later, rolling away from Jared, but he is soon back over, snuggling into his Omega's body, burying his face in the nape as he lays his cheek down. Jared stretches and wiggles backward, feeling the telling signs of latent arousal. He closes his eyes, peering up at the ring box looming down at him, and he flips onto his back within his Alpha's arms.

Jensen rises to his right elbow, staring down into Jared's face as he touches it tenderly in the dark. “It's mornin', but i's still early yet.” He smiles broadly, like he has plenty of ideas of _what_ to do floating in his head.

“ _mmm..._ mornin'...” Jared reaches up to cup the sides of Jensen's neck, then leans in to press a soft kiss to parted lips.

As unexpected as the move is, Jensen dives in and deepens their lip lock; his left hand shapes Jared's ribcage, stopping at the waist. He pulls backward before they go too far. “I thought...”

“Old, stupid rules...” Jared smooths a hand over Jensen's upper chest. “That was before, when I was hopeful and looking, then resigned in my rut in life. Life is different...ever-changing...with you.”

“Do you mean—?”

Jared snags Jensen around the hips, rolling him onto his back. “I mean—tell me what you need from me and it's yours.” He rises to the flat of his palms, one finger trailing down Jensen's chest. “I _mean_ —let's throw caution to the wind and jus'...live in _this_ moment.” Jared reaches, with one hand, behind his collar to take off his own t-shirt.

Jensen sits upright—making Jared rise to his knees—and he not only pulls off his own shirt, but his sleep pants as well. They both work on ridding Jared of his own pants until they're back in their same positions, clad only in their underwear.

Jared rolls them to where he's on the bottom, Jensen looming above. As Jensen goes to kiss Jared's chest, Jared flips to his stomach, gently pushing his backside into Jensen's groin. With each thrust back, he makes Jensen push into him until they both elevate to their knees. Jared slips to fall to his elbows and forearms; Jensen kisses the back of a shoulder.

“Is it okay to—?” Jensen is tucking his head beside Jared's to speak as tenderly as he can into an ear.

“ _yes...please..._ ” Jared almost moans out his agony as he bumps his bottom against Jensen's groin. “I need to feel you.” He tilts his head into Jensen's face.

“ _...christ!_ You're burnin' up like a furnace...” Jensen doesn't need to touch Jared, he can feel the intense heat below him.

“...it jus' overcame me...I don' know why...”

“I got you...” Jensen is pressing slow, long kisses to Jared's flushed left cheek. “...we'll get through this...”

Jensen slides the waistband over the ample backside, then down Jared's thighs until he sees the bare ass completely. He cups the mounds and splits the cheeks, bending low to plant kisses to the upper curves as he slips down the meatier portions. “...you wet?”

“...no...” Jared is rolling around, about to hump the mattress as he buries his face away in his forearm. “...you'd know if I was...”

“...I can make you wet or...” Thumbs are tracing the inside of the crease as Jensen pushes back against Jared's motions. “...I could jus'...”

“I-I-I don' know...think it'll hurt more if I'm dry an' not ready for you to fit inside...”

“ _...yeah-yeah..._ shit—of course... _'m_ _sorry,_ _jay_...” Jensen kisses up along the spine until he reaches a shoulder joint, then nuzzles the hair. “I think I got a way we can do this with the same sensations...”

“ _...yes, do it...please...I trus' you..._ ”

“I'll still need to use the lube. That okay?”

“ _yeah-yes..._ I'll get it.” Jared manages to crawl to the nightstand, opening the drawer—the ring box stares at him as he digs for the tube of lubrication. He shuts the drawer and hands Jensen the tube over his shoulder. “ _...here..._ ” Jared chokes out as he lays flatter to the mattress, hearing Jensen squeeze out the liquid, then feels the coolness being spread between his ass cheeks. He shivers with a light laugh at how cold the lube feels. He's given a small peck of the lips to the bottom of his spine at the tailbone.

Jensen's slickened the length of his cock—unknotted—and slowly strokes to a manageable hardness he can control. He spreads open the cheeks, then slides his shaft along the crack. As the mounds close around him, he sucks in a deep breath. “ _...jesus..._ ” He's getting the sensation of being able to thrust against Jared, but not “into” him...it has to be enough, for now.

“...is it— _tight_?” Jared strangles out the last word as he allows the force of Jensen's slamming into him shake his whole body.

“It's enough...” Jensen tries to steady his knees on the mattress, spreading wider to accommodate how high Jared's bent-over frame sits, but then Jared shuffles low and he's at the exact perfect height. Jensen almost cries out at the ability of his Omega to conform to his wants, and needs, without him needing to say a thing. “...enough to get me off as we move together.”

“—wha' should I do?”

“...thrust back when I thrust forward.” Jensen keeps a sturdy hand on one hip to show Jared how _not_ to react in a frenzied fashion or he'll shoot his load all over him. “Slowly, though. We'll speed up gradually.”

“I'll follow _your_ lead.” Jared calls out under his arm as he pushes his head into the bed, dislodging his pillows.

“ _...thanks..._ ” Jensen squeezes his eyes shut tight as he senses that he may not last as long as he would hope for a “first time”; he doesn't want the reputation in his bed to be one of a premature ejaculator. But he can't help noticing that Jared's not doing too good either, probably won't hold out with his own release, if anything, in the next few minutes.

It works better than imagined because Jared has such control over his backside he can actually clench increasingly while counter-thrusting. There's a gentle sway, back and forth, and then Jensen feels the culmination of weeks of being around Jared and finding sub-par satisfaction. He begins to quicken his thrusts, almost not caring how rapidly he's moving; he holds down Jared's arms and pistons his hips until he senses his orgasm rise inside. He doesn't want to come on Jared's back, but Jared's moving in his own frenzy until they both tense at the same exact time—Jared jolting first as Jensen follows; the ass cheeks milking him dry that surround his cock like a glove.

Jensen reaches for his own shirt, grumbling as he wipes his sperm off Jared's skin. “... god...m' sorry...that was—” He's attempting to send apologetic kisses along the moistened back with a sheen of perspiration, but then Jared bumps him to draw backward and rise.

Jared needs room to flip over, grabbing Jensen around the torso to pull him in for a rough and deep kiss where he keeps twisting his head to catch every angle and dip of Jensen's mouth. “ _...beautiful..._ ” _Kiss._ “ _...wonderful..._ ” _Kiss._ _Lick._ “ _...jus' like my Alpha..._ ” He breathes the words against the wet parted mouth.

“Jay— _what_?” Jensen is utterly flabbergasted, then glances down as it's clear to both men now that there's a small dollop of ejaculate, having seeped out to coat Jared's own belly and cocktip. “ _ohjesus, jay..._ ” He is ecstatic, unable to stop kissing Jared, caressing his face and holding it captive between his two palms. “Why didn't you stop me? I wanted us to face one another.”

“Next time, huh?” Jared mock-nods his head as if they've both agreed as he skims his nose along Jensen's face, kissing a corner of his mouth, along a rough cheek.

Jensen's only stunned because this one didn't really feel all that impressive to him, but he's always run on a lowered expectations level. “You really want a ' _next time_ '?”

“I do... _IdoIdoIdoIdo_...” Jared reigns sloppy kisses on Jensen's face, hugging him around the neck, hard.

Jensen makes his body go limp, letting Jared roll them a few times until they settle in a niche on their sides, facing one another. “I really should think about a ' _sick day_ '.” He grunts out a shock of sharp pain, feeling the force of strength in Jared's embrace; he's almost losing important oxygen to breathe. “We can't stop now.”

“...hey, I had to work my body up to _this_ point.” Jared slinks lower on the mattress, tucking his face away into Jensen's warm neck so he can inhale the scent of their sex and feel their combined body heat. “It might be another long while for me to get the same reaction.”

“Well, we broke through a hurdle—some _where_ , some _how_.” Jensen tangles his fingers into the back of Jared's hair, tugging him a little so he can look down into his Omega's ecstatic face. “ ** _God!_** ” He yanks the head back further so he can dip in and take control of a lengthy, juicy kiss. He rests about an inch, no more, away from Jared's face and lips. Jensen reaches up to rub curled knuckles over the parted mouth. “I wanna stay here with you—celebrate...see if we can try again. I jus' know we can.” He's not thinking it was his best performance, but it was one of his quick, hottest in a very long time—spontaneous and very unlike him. “That was pretty fuckin' hot, Jay.”

“mmm...it was, but...it'll do us good to be apart for the day.” Jared taps a finger on Jensen's chin, cupping under his jaw. “Tonight... _okay_? I promise. It'll be jus' as amazing as five minutes ago.”

“...oh, I have no doubts on that.” Jensen doesn't get another chance to breathe as Jared swoops in to take his own shot at a long, drawn-out kiss.

==&&==&&==

It's finally early morning, several hours before Jensen's alarm sounds. Jared wakes and rolls to his right elbow the minute he feels a draft of cold air. He glances over his shoulder, sees the shadow of a body seated where Jensen should be laying. He flips and stretches, reaching for his Alpha. “ _...love, please...come back to bed...so cold..._ ” He tucks under the covers, senses a warm kiss to his brow, fingers combing through his long locks, but then no _body_ pushes him to slide over or slips under. Jared hears the bathroom light turn on, the door hinges creak closed and then the sink faucet runs. There's a long stretch of quiet, a cough and then it sounds like the shower comes on.

That perks Jared up to throw back the blankets as he fast-walks to the door to peer through the crack left open. A naked Jensen stands at the shower door, tentatively sticking his bare arm under the water. There's no steam; it's going to be a cold, quick shower for the aroused Alpha. Jared can't bear to leave Jensen in silent agony—god knows how long he's been awake, seated on the bedside. “ ** _Jen, I—!_** ” He busts through the doorway, noticing Jensen has his arm up, hand out to ward off an approach. “ _ohlove...don't..._ ”

“ _...don't look at me...don't come closer..._ ”

Jared hates to see Jensen cower like this, attempting to hide his body shamefully—hiding the obvious aroused knotted cock that can't seem to dissipate. Freezing cold shower seems to be the last approach...but not if Jared has his way. He slides his body behind Jensen's, reaching above to turn off the cold knob. He tries to grab for Jensen's arm, but hands push him away. So he resorts to the one tactic left and lifts Jensen off the tile floor to carry him over his forearm, clutched to his chest.

The Alpha does everything to wrestle and shove as they leave the bathroom and Jared nearly has Jensen dangling over a shoulder until he reaches the bed and, literally, throws him down. Jared can only find a second to clutch a thick calf muscle and then Jensen rolls himself inside the thick covers, crawling over to his side of the mattress. Jared realizes he'll have to physically pin Jensen down, so he climbs on the bed with a knee and straddles the buried shape of his Alpha and sits down— _hard_.

“ ** _omph!—ow-ch!_** ” Jensen releases a muffled cry.

Jared cups his hands around the blanketed form, then trails upward until he can yank back the comforter to find the dark blond head. They're both pretty out of breath, but Jensen is more than Jared.

“What...the fuck...was _that_?”

Jensen sighs, closing his eyes. He's trapped—caught, well and good. “I dunno. I can't seem to—it's not even a matter of being near you. It's your scent and the feel of you. I move away...yet I still hear you breathe and...see you sleeping...and I can, literally, hear your heart beating...feel your presence. It's all over me.”

“ _jesus, Jen_...I told you to...” Jared looks down into Jensen's face, now able to see, and feel, the true agony he's been in. “ _...oh, love..._ ” He cups the side of the face trying to turn away from him, avoiding eye contact. “...you don't have to hide from me or feel you have to ' _get rid_ ' of your knot, killing your own pleasure just 'cuz of me. I told you I have _ways_ of getting you through this.”

“...sorry, but now it's a matter of...” Jensen shakes his head as if denying Jared knows anything of the kind. “I can't see any other way for me to find the same release I would if we knotted.” He tries to climb to his elbows, wanting to scoot out from under his Omega and back away. “I'd just rather try to calm my body down.”

“By giving it shock therapy? Your body is five-to-ten degrees hotter than it normally is.” Jared wrinkles his brow in silent fury. “You'll be under water until your skin prunes.”

Jensen is resolved to suffer alone. “So be it.”

“...no, fuck no. Not ' _so be it_ '.” Jared traps Jensen below him, squeezing knees on the sides of his Alpha's body. “Look into my face...” He's pointing to his own eyes with two spread fingers like a “peace sign”. “See my eyes and trust in me that I'll get you through.” Jared wants to grab Jensen's shoulders, or biceps, and shake him until he's rattled some sense into the stubborn head. “ ** _I_** 'm to blame for you having to act this way.” He places a five-finger span of one hand over his upper chest, admitting guilt and willing to suffer the consequences. “It'll be my sole duty, in the next few minutes, to show you exactly how much more pleasurable I can make this for you than actual knotting.”

“If I tell you something, do you promise not to laugh?” As he offers out each question, Jensen alternates each eyebrow. “Or get mad?”

“Wha—?” Jared slightly confused by the massive spread of the emotional rainbow. “Yes, I do.”

“I'm...scared.” Jensen takes out his arms bending them so he can shrug shoulders and put up hands to defend himself. “You scare me. I'm an Alpha who has a fear of his own Omega.”

Jared shifts a bit back, hands planted flat to the mattress beside Jensen's frame. “...well, you're in good company 'cuz you scare me.” He can detect the doubt going through his Alphas mind. “I swear you're not real. I mean—an Alpha who would do the things you've done, say the words you've said, would never last in a pack as a second or third Alpha. You've cleverly hidden all this time under the guise of lead Alpha and...you're my perfect ' _fit_ '.” He pinches Jensen on the shoulder.

Jensen covers the wounded shoulder joint. “ ** _ow!_** Why'd you do _that_?”

“Make sure I'm not dreaming.” Jared moves backward, straddling the lower half of the body he's above, so Jensen can sit upright.

Jensen wearily tries to pull himself to sit, forgetting that he's naked underneath. “I'm such a coward.” He's shaking his head sadly at himself.

“No. You're real and honest...” Jared's hands grasp around the thick bulk of his upper thighs, then soothes up and down as he begins to smirk. “...an' you're all kinds of sexy-adorable, which is a type of manly Alpha I've not seen in years. I'm very attracted...and aroused...” He's not too shy about showing that fact to Jensen; Jared's been noticing green eyes darting down to his groin. “You can touch me, if you want.”

Jensen averts his head to avoid staring at his Omega's impressive length and girth, even when semi-flaccid. “I do, but I don't an' it's not what you think.”

“What _do_ I think?” Jared crosses his arms, waiting to hear what Jensen has to say.

“I'm extremely attracted and highly aroused.” Jensen braces both arms behind him to lean back as he looks up at Jared's curious face. “I would very much like to _not_ care so much about hurting you or degrading your worth by convincing you into lubing your hole— _both_ of us lubing up generously—and letting me knot you.”

Jared snorts out an airy-snicker, then tumbles his frame forward as he hand-crawls toward Jensen to get in his face. “...an' that's why I'm so god-damn attracted...and turned on.” Hazel glares dead-on into wide green. “I think my fantasy fulfills _one_ aspect of my arousal.” Jared means that his satisfaction depends solely on fulfilling his Alpha. Now he wants to know how Jensen would solve the problem in reality, while he here, willing and awake. “So what do _you_ do once you're in the physical realm, no longer in the fantasy?”

“huh?” Jensen swallows hard, his Adam's apple bobbing along the stretch of his throat.

“We work like a team, our bodies work in tandem.” Jared gestures one hand toward himself as he goes on to explain. “I go into heat, you scent me and immediately you want me—need me. I scent you...want and need you, because I feel what I do to you. Yin and yang...the ' _true_ halves' of one whole.”

“So...” Jensen looks away, his mind finally functioning in order to slowly discover what Jared means. “...you're saying, finding my own pleasure will end up pleasing you?” He points at Jared's bare chest with an index finger, nearly touching naked skin. “Then we're _both_ satisfied?”

Jared tilts his head as he stares intently at Jensen. “Well, I don't know how good I am with helping an Alpha through sexual issues, but since I have a good bond with you already...I can probably get you off with a few stimulation exercises, then I help you ride out the sensation I've, uh...cultivated.” He narrows his gaze, hoping Jensen will understand.

“Is it more massaging?”

Jared nods his head, his eyes flittering off to the side. “It can be seen that way, but I'd be working on the _inside_ of your body.”

“uhm, help me here...” Jensen is suddenly realizing how shadowy his Omega's large figure looms above him; it would be a bit menacing, if it wasn't so evocative. His hand flutters over his chest as if to shy away from bodily contact the closer Jared hovers. “I'm a little lost and mostly confused.”

“no, you're not.” Jared snatches Jensen's hand, then places a tender kiss to warm skin. “Not really. You're scared—-we've established that—and you're unfocused.”

All Jensen's focus has shifted to what Jared plans on doing with his one hand, and it seems to be getting the intimate attention his Omega will bestow on him, if he's ready.

“You're unsure and you're wary of me.” Jared lays the hand on his chest, petting down the palm and along the underside of the wrist and forearm; he even starts to massage the individual fingers in a loving manner. It's only a rouse to show how manic Jensen's mind has become; he always focuses on the wrong thing which is a product of his inherent shyness. “You think too much about what goes on outside this bedroom—how you'll be looked at. No one's ever allowed you to be who _you_ are...who you _know_ you are, but try to conform for everyone else.” Green eyes reluctantly latch onto hazel as Jared gives out an encouraging smile. “I think you had a hard time connecting with other mates because they all refused to ' _see_ ' you. And I...” Jared finally curls his hand into Jensen's, holding it deeper to his chest wall, near his heart. “I can ' _see_ ' you quite clearly.”

“ _oh?_ who am I?” Both eyebrow lifts as Jensen awaits an answer he's desperately wanted to hear.

“ _...my Alpha...you're my...love..._ ” Jared adjust his body to walk on bended knees over Jensen's torso, to push him to crane head and body backward over the mattress and comforter he's entangled inside of. “ _...my perfect lover...perfect Alpha...you're... **mine**_ _..._ ”

And Jensen's never wanted this badly to be someone's “mine”. “...an' this is why you scare the shit outta me.”

Jared points to the covers he's sitting on as he settles the hand back to Jensen's chest. “Can I look... _please_?...lemme see _my_ Alpha in true form...”

Jensen shifts to rest low on his elbows, his eyes motioning for Jared to make his move. His Omega doesn't go straight for the cock to see the impressive knot—Jensen's never seen himself get this huge. Instead, Jared leans up to kiss and nip at an ear, the side of the jaw and then the back of the right hand begins to caress over stubbled cheek. As lips move down neck, shoulder and collarbone, the hand follows and Jensen lets only his head fall backward. He sticks a leg out to hit Jared's bare legs; the Omega moves to take the wayward limb between his thighs. Jensen falls to the mattress, feeling the five-finger spread of the hand and moist lips with wet tongue heading downward as the covers are slowly lowered.

Jared reaches the stomach, near the belly button and he starts to cup Jensen's sides, his mouth now taking soft bites of pale skin. His Alpha stutters his breathing, the lungs expanding while the abdomen quivers. Jared's hand finally throws off the rest of the linens and as hands move to grasp hips, then shuffle to the ample backside, Jared heads back up the chest, lips kissing up the center until he grazes the Adam's apple and nips at the chin. Hazel eyes stare deeply into darkening, hazy green. “Learn this, Alpha...you're not just a cock to me, or a knot...an' you never will be...” As he speaks with conviction from his heart, his hands have moved to split open the crease and fingers flitter along the crack over the puckered hole.

“ _ohgawd..._ ” Jensen uses one forearm to push against Jared's chest. After a while, he realizes Jared's there only to pet around and near the entrance. He won't go “in” without his Alpha's permission. That arm used to push, now rises to slide up and around Jared's neck as if to hold on. “...god-damn, you found my _second_ weakness...”

“Have you played with your hole before?” Jared is reassuring Jensen as he talks, pushing his face against the sweating brow and temple.

“Only with my own fingers while I jerked off. I don'—I bought dildos...” It's tempting for Jensen to lower his bottom as he feels those fingers press around the sensitive area. “...even knotted ones... _ohgawdohgawd_...intending to one day find the courage, but I haven't.”

Jared twists his face into Jensen's hair. “How far did you get inside?”

“Not very.” Jensen takes a nervous swallow, adding a stilted laugh. “It was a new, exciting sensation, but sometimes I just got off by rubbing over it.”

Jared does that very action to see how Jensen reacts.

“ ** _yes! gawdyes!_** _Yesyesyesss..._ ” It's tough to not move and shift his body, so Jensen just lets himself go, doing whatever it feels like doing.

“...feels good?” Jared grins down into Jensen's face as he cranes his head back.

“... _bet-ter_.” Jensen struggles to speak as he keeps warring within to not show too much weakness.

Jared lets out a light laugh as Jensen simply uses Jared's head to balance himself. “I'm gonna ask, but I think I know the answer...”

“ _...mmm-what_?”

“You ever come from working your prostate?” Jared feels his Alpha go still, the frown marring the smooth forehead.

“uh...where's it? Inside?” Jensen motions down to his lower body, where Jared's caressing him. “There?”

“yeah.” Jared shakes his head as he lightly snickers. “The fact you ask means you aren't even aware it's there for you to enjoy.”

“I thought stroking my cock was enough.” Jensen clears his throat, a lone eyebrow raises in wild wonder. “So...there's _more_?”

“oh, so much more, _love_. I can show you.” Jared has to move his head along Jensen's quick gyrations, hoping to catch those slowly blinking green eyes. “Will you trust me...an' let me show you?”

“ _...ohgawd..._ you mean to kill me, don' you?”

“ _...mmm_ —only with love an' kindness...”

“ _christ..._ I feel like such a freak.”

Jared hates the fact that his Alpha thinks he's a “freak” for wanting his own pleasure sought; it seems a damn shame. “I can't promise you a full-on Omega sexual experience, but I can take you to a high you've never felt before.”

“oh, you probably can.” Jensen gives his Omega a side-long glance, then closes his lids. “I jus' don't like going there alone.”

“You won't be, love. I'll be right here with you, holding on while I keep you safe in my arms.” Jared gives Jensen's cheek a kiss and his face a nudge, but he scoots down the bed to the nightstand. He opens the drawer to take what he'll need, he spares a tiny glance over his shoulder only to find two arms are curved over Jensen's blushing face, blocking out his view. Jared smiles because he adores his Alpha more than ever at this moment. As he turns to climb back into position at Jensen's side—placing the lube and toy out of eyesight, so not to scare Jensen—he does look down at the knotted cock laying on the soft bed of dark blond curls. As he sets his left elbow and forearm down on the bed, Jared trails his right hand up the inseam of one leg, then draws up the apex, then down the inseam of the other leg. He keeps doing the motion, but spends more time at the base of the cock. He applies very little pressure. “...you're magnificent.” And that's no lie. Jared's not an expert on Alpha cocks, or knots, but from what he's witnessed over the years, Jensen's is pretty spectacular.

Jensen drops his right arm, sending the hand over dark hair to cup the nape, then slides over the shoulder blades. He needs to touch and caress while Jared touches and caresses him intimately. “I'm...passable.”

Jared slips his arms under Jensen's neck in a mock-cradle position as he barely skims his palm over the underside of the throbbing length. He hears Jensen breathe in through clenched teeth, then watches as the head turns into the biceps of the one arm covering Jensen's face. Lips part and teeth gnash pale skin. Once he soothes his right hand up and over the bare chest, Jared removes the arm to place the limb curved above the dark blond spikes. His left hand comes out to hold onto the wrist; Jensen keeps his head twisted, allowing Jared to kiss and nuzzle over the side of face and neck.

“I need you to start taking deeper breaths—long on inhales and exhales. I'm going to talk while I do everything. I don't need you to verbally respond, but a little eye contact and a nod or shake of your head would be appreciated.” Jared is a little startled when Jensen does swivel his head around and he's finally able to see the fear and self-doubt deeply immersed in the shy green eyes. There's an all-over body blush as Jared sends his right leg over to slide in between Jensen's legs; it's more to keep them spread than to add more stimulation. Jared pets down Jensen's chest, dancing fingers over the quivering belly. “A lover's touch is much different from a mother's but the concept is the same—a sense of unconditional affection and safety. I bring you back to that moment in your 'pup' years in order to create a familiar sensation and surrounding for you I won't have to force you to take these steps, your body will naturally want to go there. Give in to what your body wants—you can't be more honest or real than that. Don't deny yourself certain pleasures. It's okay to be frightened or a bit embarrassed, but that's why I'm here...to protect you as I guide you through.”

Jensen closes his eyes, rolling his head in Jared's left shoulder and he adjusts his right hand so Jared no longer grasps his wrist, but tangles with his fingers.

Jared takes that as a sign of trust, so he finally sends his hand down further, barely skimming the thickening blood-red cock. “I'm not going to stroke you as much as you think. It's too much over-stimulation and you'll come too soon. I'm going to first, let you get familiar with my hands, my touch...by using the lube. It's only body oil, nothing special and it's good for your skin.” He reaches out to open the bottle, then pours out the liquid over his fingers. He leans the bottle on Jensen's thigh, then presses against the perineum, making sure he rubs deep enough so the sphincter is massaged. Jared does this a few times before he starts sliding oiled fingers into the split of the crack. As Jensen deepens his breaths, his legs widen and he offers out his bottom more. “ _...tha's it, love...ssshhh...you're doin' so good..._ ” Jared pours out more oil onto his hand then soothes over testicles, the knot and then along the shaft. Jensen arcs off the bed and holds onto Jared tighter. “see...jus' needed you to understand what I meant before.” He nudges Jensen's face off his body. “...you okay?”

Jensen nods, then blinks slowly to keep his eyes closed. His hand on Jared's back goes to play in the dark brown hair.

“...'kay, now I'm gonna try to penetrate you with my thumb. Your body will try to push me out. If it does, I'll stop, but I won't pull out. There's too many nerve endings down there, you'll feel five different sensations at once. I need you to try and focus with your breathing.” Jared holds up his hand to show Jensen; his middle and ring fingers form a V and he shows how his thumb goes under to fit once he's there at the apex of his legs. “These two fingers will go around the base of the shaft, right under your testicles, then my thumb has the perfect angle to slip inside.” He lowers his hand, but his eyes look into Jensen's—always. “I need you to take a deep breath when you feel me, then exhale. You ready?”

Jensen nods his head, simply out of curiosity. He's only ever felt his own fingers and they aren't as long and flexible as Jared's are. He inhales at the feel of the fingers fitting below his sac, then he exhales as the thumbpad rides the crease, slowly sliding past the first sphincter. He mumbles out a cry, rolling his head around to squeeze Jared's fingers.

“Take another deep breath, _love_.”

Jensen does then feels the sensation of the blunt digit going deeper. There's a gentle back and forth flick of the thumb inside, then Jared starts to scissor his fingers in tandem. Jensen arcs a little off the mattress, trying to move his legs, he can only bend one—which he does as he butterflies the limb out with the roll of his hips. Jared hadn't been lying, even with the arousal and the pleasure he's feeling, there are pin-pricks of tingles behind his groin he's never felt before. It's grounded in his gut and trying to crawl up his body. “W'a's'at?...what're you doin'?”

“My thumb is skimming your prostate.” Jared's attempting to watch Jensen's face. “How does it feel?”

“I dunno. I never felt it before. Feels... _tingly_.”

“The longer I massage it, the more that sensation will build.”

“...you're gonna touch it more, right?”

Jared deeply chuckles, hearing the deep want hidden in Jensen's tone. “I can. Right now, if that's what you want.”

“I do...I _do_... _please_...”

“ _...mmm_ —now you're getting the hang of this.” Jared slowly draws out his thumb, liking the sight of Jensen's lower body trying to chase his hand. It's a normal reaction of detachment from mind and body. “I'm gonna start with one finger, then work up to two. You're probably wide open by now, but I'm not gonna take that chance.” He oils index and middle fingers. Jared does a tender motion of cupping the base of the backside in his whole palm, he presses in with the heel, the he plays his finger along the well-slicked cheeks until one of the two fingers he plans on using slips into the crack. He bends and curls the digit, hesitating the insertion because he wants Jensen to look at him as he does the action. Jared needs to build that trust with his Alpha, if they're ever going to get anywhere. Jensen refuses to look at him, head averted to try and kiss or nuzzle over Jared's kin, Jared realizes he's gonna have to use some wile technique to get those gorgeous green eyes glancing his way. As his fingers teases, so do his lips; they trail from short sideburn, across stubbled cheek to reach the corner of the delectable mouth. He nips once at the top lip, but takes a soft bite out of the plump bottom one.

Jensen is used to dual sensations, of kissing sensually while being given a handjob, but he's never felt the overload of the current motion coupled with emotions churning inside his body, making his heart flutter and his gut clench. As Jared pulls back, his nailbed is right at the pin-hole of Jensen's anus, green eyes finally catch hazel...and Jensen oddly understands to take in a breath. He tilts up to mash mouths with Jared as the long finger slowly enters his body and he undulates with a wail and a moan under his throat. The finger isn't large, but so long and a perfect circumference that fills the canal as he squeezes the walls of inner muscles.

The harder they kiss, the deeper that finger moves until it easily slips past another ring. Jensen feels the need to shy away and loop his free leg around Jared's lower limbs to wrap his body around his Omega. Jared grunts at his arm being awkwardly trapped between their bodies, but he manages to kick off Jensen's leg. As he trails his mouth down chin to chest, his fingers start to pet at the walnut-sized nub he palpates. Jensen cries out and arcs almost into the air as he feels like curling into a fetal position, but all he can do is trust in Jared and hang on as they ride out the sensations...just like he promised.

Jared has to think quickly, because his second finger has gone dry and he doesn't want to shock Jensen's body by pulling out. He doesn't want to retract his left arm because he needs to keep reinforcing to Jensen he's safe and loved in this cradled position. So thinking fast, he moves to drop his head, mouth wetting his own finger in a precarious manner. Jensen sucks in air at the feel of soft, silky hair and warm, rough skin over his sensitized cock, knot and balls. He's not sure what his Omega has planned but he braces his body for it, with another deep intake of air.

As Jared trips the second finger along the crease, he lets it join the first one. He traces lips in tender kisses up a thigh and along the belly until he hits a pert nipple to suckle, then lightly bites. Jensen's moaning louder and jostling around. He can't help moving his hips and sliding to-and-fro. He wants to move quick and hard at the feel of the two fingers widening his hole.

“ _...ohmygawd...never knew—I jus'...never knew..._ ” Jensen is quieted by Jared's face rubbing against his, soothing words told in his ear and being called “love” in that wonderful, breathy tone. He's forgetting about his knot...letting go of needing to ejaculate any semen, which almost makes his body switch priorities. The cock stays hard, but the shaft isn't one burning throb and the knot has shrunken some. All feeling has gone to his anus and inside the rectum. Full concentration on the glorious sensation coming off of his prostate being massaged.

But he's also feeling his heart expand, his body letting him discover exactly what he feels for Jared...what he's been denying himself for too long. It's on his tongue to utter but he keeps being choked with pleasure or silenced with tender kisses...he can't decide which one he desires more, likes it when they happen together.

“How do you feel, _love_?”

Jared's voice sounds like it's coming at him from far away. “ _mmm_...better. And stupid.”

Jared chuckles, brushing noses with Jensen. “Stupid? How so?”

“Foolishly being scared of you.” Jensen blinks his eyes to remain open, staring up into hazel. “Not trusting you, which I should do— _always_.”

“yes, always.” Jared swoops in to breathe the single word against Jensen's lips. “I don't say I serve my Alpha to the best of my ability, or that I do everything I can to take care of you...with intentions of failing. It's a responsibility I never take lightly.”

“Obviously. You waited this long for me. I've never been so thankful...or grateful.”

“ _hmm..._ I'm gonna slowly pull my fingers out. I'll do them one at a time...don't stop breathing, 'kay?”

“yeah...go ahead.” Jensen shifts about as Jared draws out one finger, then the other. He has to admit he's a bit of a puddle of goop right now, not wanting to move, just content in the sensations and breathing evenly. He feels Jared moving his body above him, smile on his face. “What? Sorry? Did you ask me something?”

“Not yet, no. I was just watching you.” Jared caresses the side of Jensen's face. “I was caught in the beauty of you blissed out and relaxed.”

Jensen reaches up to cup the side of Jared's throat. “I wish I could show you what I'm feeling right now.”

“We'll get there—soon—I promise. You wanna sit up or are you resting?”

“Why? Is there something else—?” Jensen notices that Jared has reached into the tangled folds of the bed sheets and is pulling out his **Omegalight**. “ _...ohgod..._ ”

==&&==&&==

 **TBC...**


	18. Chapter 18

“If you're willing and ready...” Jared notices the precarious lift to Jensen's eyebrows. “...I can help you reach that orgasm your body is looking for.”

“ _...jesus..._ ” Jensen is simply amazed the coherency Jared is able to keep in the middle of this sexual intimacy and arousal, and _he_ can't help thinking beyond the thought of the single moment that he's in with his bed partner. “How did it fuckin' slip my mind that I even had _that_?”

“It's all right.” Jared smirks from one side of his mouth, glancing down at the toy engulfed in his palm. “I like that you forgot because it means you never considered it in replacement of when you finally did find your mated Omega.” He looks down at Jensen under lowered lashes, playing coy.

Jensen lifts his upper body, unaware of his hair in disarray. He closes his eyes as Jared combs his shorn locks back into place. “ _...thanks..._ ” He clears his throat and stares down at the sex toy in Jared's hands. “You really don't mind me using it—watching me knot while you're here?”

“For now it's what we have that'll give you the release you need.” Jared shrugs, flipping the object around in his grasp rather nonchalantly. “I can participate as much as I want.” He can't keep his eyes from looking closer or staring at the toy because he's damn curious to what it'll do and how it will look. “Or I can be voyeur and discover the ways my Alpha finds his pleasure.”

“ _...christ..._ ” Jensen shakes his head in amazement, with a slight lift to one side of his mouth. “...you're too forgiving and accommodating.”

Jared bows his chin as he states these words clearly. “It's my fault we're here, having to do this.”

“no, it's not your fault.” Jensen reaches out to clamp a hand over Jared's forearm, where the toy is held in the large hand. “I don't know _how_ I do know, but...I just do.” He uses two fingers to gently lift up Jared's chin with some pride. “You're too...ready and ripe for the experience, but things aren't clicking together for you.”

“I've never been able to watch an Alpha get off by himself.” Jared is staring deeply into wide green eyes, able to put down the toy in between Jensen's thighs. The cock twitches in its own curiosity to be able to feel a certain needed tightness around itself for release. “I'm curious to how this works and how good of an Omega hole it represents.”

“Did you want to—?” Jensen is trying to ask if Jared wants to lubricate his cock. He holds out the bottle of body oil to his Omega. “Why don't we continue _you_ being in control of the moment and _me_ letting go of my inhibitions...”

Jared slowly nods his head as he takes the bottle of oil in his hand. “I won't stroke you unless you want me to.”

“Do what you feel's best?” Jensen is startled by the words actually being exactly what he felt; his Omega has done nothing to disprove he _can't_ trust him. “I put my full trust in you.”

“I think the inside of this is slick enough, I won't need much.” Jared rubs a generous amount over one hand, then warms them both together.

Already, Jensen's erection is lowering off the bed of pubic hair and sticking straight out from his body. Jared gives a quick swipe under, then above, hearing Jensen suck in his hurried breaths through clenched teeth.

“Feel you're gonna ' _pop_ ' soon?” Jared doesn't want to break out in a foolish grin, like he's laughing at Jensen's eagerness, so it comes out as a tempered smirk.

“I just might.” Jensen watches as Jared unscrews the cover to display the soft silicone padding that forms the puckered hole. It's an impressive hole that does appear to be “life-like” but the real test is going to be how it feels on his cock. “It depends on how tight that thing can get around my knot.”

“oh...I think it'll be as realistic one might imagine.” Jared hates that he's ignoring his Alpha's gorgeous knotted cock, so he cups the underside in one hand, sliding down to the base of the shaft. He dips in to take Jensen's parted lips, munching as he gives a slight squeeze to the bulbous knot then jiggles the sac of the testicles over his fingers. “You're spasming at my _every_ touch...you won't last much longer.”

“ _...uh-huh..._ ” Jensen wants to lay back down, but he attempts to stay upright. He watches as Jared brings over his hand that holds the **Omegalight** , then inch by slow inch he pushes the entire length inside. Jensen can't handle the overwhelming sensation of being gripped too tightly so he falls backward and growls out as he thrusts against Jared's swift movements. He starts to fuck the **Omegalight** but stops because he's certain he won't fit.

Except Jared had figured out the “switch” on the plastic cannister prior to this use. It opens and closes the initial opening like a real sphincter and as he slides the “switch” square over a little at a time, the cock sinks deeper and deeper until the full knot disappears and all that's left are the dangling oval testicles.

“ ** _...oh_** ** _fuck!..._** ” Jensen sends out both arms from his sides, fingers curling as they grapple for leverage on the sheets and comforter. “ ** _...what_** ** _did_** ** _you_** ** _do?!?_** ”

“There was a button—” Jared abandons the toy to reach out and take hold of Jensen's hands; he wants to feel as much of his Alpha's pleasure as he can so that he knows what works and what doesn't. “—a mechanism to open the fake hole wider, then I just closed it after your knot was inside.” He shuffles a bent knee to rest along Jensen's left thigh to hold the drooping toy in place and higher in the air

“ _oh,_ _mygod...this_ _is—fuckin'_ _unreal...unghhhghhh..._ ** _jesushcrist!_** ”

“...does it hurt?” Jared inquires only because he's pretty sure most of Jensen's painful expressions are from holding back his release and tampering down his need to thrust.

“ _...nonono...mmm-no...jus'_ _pressure...I'm_ _trying_ _not_ _to_ _explode..._ ”

“...go ahead and thrust—as quick as you feel you need to...”

So that's just what Jensen does as Jared squeezes his fingers, placing Jensen's own hands along his body. Jensen slides his hands down his own torso, slipping over his hips and then his fingers almost try to rip into his flesh over pelvis and hips as he bucks frantically at a frenzied pace, and he arcs so high in mid-air that he's nearly rising off the bed. “ _ohfuckme-fuckme...I'm_ _coming...coming_ _so_ _fuckin'_ _hard._ ”

Jared can tell as he watches the testicles contract into the body, the tendons and muscles under the pale skin pull and strain with every jolt of semen expunged. He pets the insides of Jensen's thighs then notices Jensen's hands sliding around to shape his groin. Jared takes each of Jensen's wrists in his grip fearing that Jensen is trying to take off the **Omegalight**. “...ride it out, _love_...let it all go...”

Jensen's writhing around on the mattress, then shoots upright and he's latching on to Jared's forearms, then onto his shoulders until he can secure both arms around neck and shoulders. “ _...fuck,_ _Jay...jus'_ _fuck...gawd..._ ”

Jared's never truly held someone in the throes of orgasm, especially a knotting Alpha...and, certainly no one like Jensen. He can't stop touching Jensen once he's in his arms. He massages the back, letting hands trail up and tangle in the back of the head of hair. He leans against Jensen as he sends hands down to shape hips, then curves about the rounded ass cheeks. He pulls apart the mounds and feels Jensen softly bite his ear, tugging at his hair.

“ _...finger_ _me..._ ”

“...you sure?”

“ _...gimme_ _two...try_ _to_ _work_ _in_ _more..._ ”

That's what Jared does as Jensen keeps thrusting his hips to give friction to his cock and knot still embedded inside the toy. The **Omegalight** is squished between their bodies and Jensen could swear he feels the throbbing heat of Jared's own shaft poking him, cocktip sliding moist along his bare skin. Jared was so focused on Jensen, he completely stopped paying attention to his own pleasure. As Jensen thrusts back onto the fingers inside him, he starts cupping the sides of Jared's neck, then his head as he moves lips across exposed skin to eventually reach Jared's lips. His fingers sifting in long brown strands, he kisses the mouth deep and quick, then rests his brow on Jared's face. His hands shake as he touches the cheeks and then he's pistoning his hips in rapid fire motions as he shoots more come inside the silicone tubing. “ _...oh_ _fuck,_ _Jay..._ _fuck_ _me..._ ” He's slowing down his thrusts and he feels the fingers exit his rectum as hands crawl up his back to cradle him again. Jared adjusts to lay Jensen down as if he'll shatter like glass.

As Jared rolls over the broad shoulder, he massages the upper chest, over nipples and down the torso. He glances down at the **Omegalight** on the cock and works the same “switch” button, but moves it in the opposite direction. There's a sucking sound, like a vacuum-packed release and Jensen is heavily breathing. “Better?” He jiggles the toy to see the kind of “give” he has to remove it.

“ _...god..._ I've never felt something that tight 'round my knot or my cock. That was...”

Jared smiles despite feeling a little twinge of jealousy. “— _heaven_?”

Jensen keeps pushing his head as far back as he can get it as tingles and twitches roam up and down his whole body. He keeps blinking for longer increments of time in order to set his system back to rights; he knows he's got his Omega to hopefully seek out his own release. “well, you did swear you could take me to a high I've never felt an', uh...that was pretty much a spot-on description.”

Jared lets the toy simply lay against upper thigh and left hip. “Do you want me to wait until you go down more or...do you want it off now?”

“Let it alone for a bit.” Jensen pats the space on his right. “ _...come_ _here..._ ”

Jared hops on over, settling down along Jensen's side, but lower than he lays on the mattress. He's using the right biceps already there as his pillow. He extends a hand to soothe across Jensen's chest. “How do you feel now?”

Jensen keeps staring at Jared which is unnerving the Omega. “Right now, you're my most favorite person in the world.”

Jared has sense enough to go flush and avert his head to tuck into Jensen's throat. “It's only the first night of many. We don't have to have sex, or knot, to feel mutual pleasure.”

“Speaking of ' _mutual_ _pleasure_ '...” Jensen hauls Jared off the side of his frame to sit along his body, his right leg working in between Jared's thighs. He bends his knee to slide under and over Jared's hard cock. “...you wanna take care of me so damn bad, you almost missed the fact that you've gone hard again.” A few hairs have caught on Jared's stubble, so Jensen's moves them back and tucks them behind an ear, then holds onto the ends as if he needs traction. “Do you think you can come?”

Jared slowly rides Jensen's thigh, nudging and nuzzling the face and neck below. “I might be able to, but it most likely won't be much. Something like earlier.”

“I wanna watch you come. I wanna watch you rub against me.” Jensen rises a bit to an elbow, reaching down and popping off the **Omegalight**. He switches the “switch” button to close the tube, then puts the cap on to contain the soupy liquid inside. “ _...fuckin'_ _gross,_ _man..._ ” He makes a “face” as he lays back down, throwing the toy aside.

“ ** _hey!_** ” Jared playfully shoves against his Alpha's chest. “That ' _gross-ness_ ' will be inside me, making a 'pup'.” He pretends like he's going to get up, but Jensen snatches him right back, tighter to his body than before.

“mmm...” Jensen nudges with his nose then laps with his tongue along the rough skin to bury his face in the soft dark hair. “...an' I can't wait to be inside you, feeling you tight around me as I pound into you like I did that poor toy.” He loves that as he speaks into the ear he's near, his Omega can't help but make tiny, gentle thrusts toward his body.

“I'm jealous of that toy.” Jared shifts his head around, feeling slightly faint and heady. “It got to have you deep inside...was bred twice by your seed...if I wasn't such a fuck-up, I bet we'd've gotten pregnant tonight.”

Jensen readjusts his body so Jared is more centered on him and their cocks brush and meld together. “I'd love it if we got pregnant the first time.” He shapes his hands along the muscular chest, then sweeps fingers over the flat stomach. “I wanna feel our 'pup' growing inside you, knowing we created a little life that'll be both of us— _ours_.”

“... _oh,_ _love_... _want_ _that_ _too...want_ _you—so_ _much..._ ”

“ _...want_ _you_ _too...need_ _you_ _more..._ ”

Jared makes a little mournful wailing noise as he quickens his hips and gyrates into Jensen's pelvis. He stops moving to lay on top of Jensen, hugging both arms about the frame and then he increases his thrusts until he feels a rise in his own pleasure. Jensen rolls him over, pinning him down as he rubs and thrusts against Jared's cock and body.

“You feel it?'

“ _...yeah..._ ”

“I'm feelin' it too.” Jensen leans on Jared's face. “...we'll come together...”

“ _...uh-huh..._ ”

As their bodies move in perfect tandem, cocks stroked and strained, each man arcs away from the other at their initial ejaculations. But then they roll to fit evenly together on their sides, facing one another, to slowly ride out the final stages of their mutual release. They're both deep breathing and smiling across at the other, arms fitting around each man's chest to trace down naked backs, following sweat trails. Jensen dives in and takes Jared's mouth in hard, rough kisses.

“ _...love_ _you..._ ”

“ _mmm..._ ” Jared has to bury his face away in a pillow. “ _...me_ _too..._ ” He can't say the word “love” yet, though he knows he feels its power.

Jensen combs through the dark hair, giving a side-smile of complete understanding of not being able to say the words back. He's patient and he knows he has a lifetime with Jared to look forward to hearing the word pass his lips.

==&&==&&==

Jensen fills his coffee travel mug with every intention of leaving for work, but once he takes a glance outside the back door, looking over the yard, he's mesmerized, held transfixed. He thinks Jared is upstairs with Milo, never imagining that once he steps outdoors onto the porch he'll find Jared wrapped up in a quilt, just sitting on the porch swing, staring off in his usual trance-mode. Jensen walks over, sets his mug down to scoot Jared aside so he can settle behind his Omega, letting Jared lean on him.

Jared simply rests on Jensen's shoulder, cheek pressing to the button-down plaid shirt. “Fair warning—Chad's wandering around on his cell phone, trying to eat a bowl of cereal and talk to his caller.”

Jensen speaks against Jared's dark hair. “I need more snuggle-time with my Omega before I leave.” He tightens his left arm around Jared's body. “I should've worn your hoodie today. I'm too stuck in my ways.” Jensen stares down at his usual “uniform” of t-shirt, matching plaid shirt.

“Is it bad?” Jared pets along the limb over his chest, tucking the hand and wrist under the quilt with him as he slides fingers underneath the buttoned cuff.

“Dull ache. I almost cried at the screen door back there, like a puppy wanting to go outside.” Jensen closes his eyes to inhale deeply. “What is this even about—you know?” He adjusts his hand to take Jared's fingers in his grip, threading them together. “I think we're both aware we need each other...want to be together...why does it have to hurt to be separated?”

“I'll never know why—truly.” Jared moves his head up higher so he can fall back into the side of Jensen's neck. “The Elders like to claim it's our souls finally back together after being split apart. It's why knotting can be so powerful and life-changing...and why mates should spend a day or so together after knotting. It's the familiar—getting to know one another again.”

Jensen averts his eyes, even though Jared's not facing him. “Does it feel the same when it's a ceremonial or ritual knotting—like what Adrian and Milo had?”

“oh, yeah...” Jared nods against the thick button-down, closing his eyes. “It's almost an all day affair—which can sometimes pour into the next day. I've known some Alphas to stay knotted for hours on end an' just as their knot decreases, they feel the draw to thrust again and fill back up to spill their seed.”

“ _jesus...sorry._ ” Jensen mutters then almost chokes on a swallow. “I don't think I have _that_ kind of stamina.” He brings up his arm to curl about the underside of Jared's head, hand playing over the face, mostly the cheek that's been newly shaved and feels soft to his touch. He playfully tugs on an ear lobe.

Jared rubs his cheek on Jensen's shirt, wanting to turn his face completely from view. “Once you're in the moment, you never realize the time passing—caught up and tangled in feelings and emotions with your life-mate.”

“You mean like the time we spent together last night, into this morning?” Jensen is burying his face deeper into the dark brown strands, disappearing down the nape of the neck.

“oh, _love_...” Jared blinks slowly on a heavy sigh. “...we've barely touched what we can do together an' to each other.”

“After this weekend...” Jensen pushes off the back of the porch swing, twisting his body to face Jared's curved back. “...we'll think about where to take ' _us_ ' next. No pressure.”

“Jen, no one can predict the future.” Jared likes that he doesn't have to watch Jensen as he talks to him; he still feels a little unhinged from what they did last night, if not, a bit embarrassed. “Life shouldn't be filled with ' _plans_ '. Take each day as it comes.” He tries to quietly laugh off his next comment, but doesn't hear Jensen joining him. “You see what happens when we try to have ' _no sex_ '.”

Jensen tucks his face into the side of Jared's, lips skimming the square-line of the sloped jaw. “I don't want you, or your body, to feel pressured into ' _performing_ '.” He presses a soft kiss, or two, to the bare skin scented like sandalwood and musk. “I'm good with what we had, and I'm not trying to be the good boyfriend. I want you relaxed and content in our bed.”

Jared nods his head as if he agrees with what Jensen states, then he turns his head to lean on Jensen. “I feel it now—here, with you. I'm finding I always will.”

“Good.” Jensen lifts up his head as he hears Chad's speedy chatter. “ ** _shit!_** We've got company.” He kisses the back of Jared's neck, then gives an awkward one-armed embrace before they're spotted. “I need to get to work.” Jensen makes a grunting sound as he stands. He's not expecting Jared to unfold his curled body and climb to his bare feet. “ _nonono_...sit down...stay...” Jensen grabs onto thick biceps to settle his Omega back down. “I was the one who disturbed you.”

“ _What_?” Jared reaches out from under the quilt material to pat the warm skin, then soothe along the top of the wrists and hands. “I can't walk my Alpha to his car?”

“Is it worse on you? I mean—well, I don't know how long it's been since you've orgasmed, so I thought—” Jensen is silenced by a hard, solid kiss to his mouth—like he's been told to shut up, his Omega is fine.

“You're sweet to ask, but I'm fine.” Jared caresses down and around the cheeks that already feel slight stubbly, even after a good shave. “A little weary, which is expected.” He crosses his arms over his chest, wrapping the quilt around himself. “I think I throw my system off when I don't go into heat the way I'm supposed to. I get one or the other, never both at the same time.”

“You do look a little flushed.” Jensen gestures with his chin toward Jared's face, wishing he could touch the rosiness, but he can hear Chad walking in the distance behind him. “Maybe you should go back in, climb into bed— _my_ bed... _our_ bed and sleep the morning away.” He clears his throat as he has leaned more into Jared's breathing space to talk with him privately. “I can walk to the car on my own.” Jensen feels Jared grab the front of his waistband, tugging him in so they bang foreheads.

“I want to spend _every damn second_ I can with you, before you go an' you're only a scent in the air or a voice in my ear.”

Jensen peeks over his shoulder as he holds onto Jared's biceps under the quilt and settles him away from his body. “ _...oh-kay, oh-kay..._ le's go through the house, out the front door.”

Jared latches onto Jensen's belt-loops. “Lead the way, Alpha.”

Jensen twists to pick up his mug then tries to snag Jared's fingers in his grasp. “ ** _Hey, Chad!_** ”

“Mornin', Alpha...” Chad pauses from his call, then nods toward his lead Alpha and the Omega, looking as if he needed Jensen to stand upright. “...Jared...”

“Chad...” Jared begins to call out toward the Omega. “Steve wants you to get off the phone soon or he'll leave you to drive yourself in today.”

“yeah, oh-kay...” Chad is part-way up the steps to the porch, when he goes back to his phone caller; he's using his hands as he talks, almost like he's unaware it still holds a ceramic bowl. “ ** _Lil', look...I'll set up some studio time for you, but I can't promise I'll be there._** ” He gives an odd look to Jensen and Jared who seem to be stuck to the porch flooring, until he realizes he's blocking the path they want to take through the back screendoor into the kitchen. “ ** _Markess'll let you in, if I'm not in studio. I gotta go, sweetie. You better not squelch on me this time. Tha's precious time wastin'..._** ” He lifts his chin toward Jared as he shuffles out of their way. “...thanks, man...”

“ _uh-huh..._ ” Jared takes the soggy cereal bowl out of the Omega's hand; he's only been waving it around, no longer eating out of it.

“Jared...” Jensen walks through the doorway with a reprimand on his lips for Jared to put the damn bowl down, for once.

Jared breaks away to quickly pad over to across the tiled floor to the stainless steel sink. “Just dartin' to the sink, dumpin' an' quick rinse...I swear.”

Jensen folds his arms, rolling his eyes as he keeps a close watch to make sure Jared won't also wash off the rest of those breakfast dishes as he waits for him.

==&&==&&==

They're at the front door, Jensen is putting on the coat Jared gave him, letting Jared help with fixing the collar that won't unravel and sit right when he refuses to move one more muscle. “You better put something on your bare feet or we say ' _g'bye_ ' here.” He looks at his Omega under lowered lashes. “I'm not kiddin', Jay. This is the small detail people forget when they're inexplicably stricken by a nasty-ass cold.”

Jared takes the command in stride and looks near the coat rack at the row of shoes he is able to choose from. Not many would fit his big boats. He's frowning down at them, attempting to figure size with only his eyes.

“Go with these old sneakers of Chad's. Should fit just about—” Jensen is impressed when Jared's left foot slides right in, then he holds onto Jared's elbow as the right sneaker goes on with ease as well.

“I'm _not_ tying them.” The shapes barely squeezes the life out of his feet. If he wore them for real, Jared knows he would be in literal pain.

“As long as something protects you from cold, wet pavement, I'm happy.” Jensen does a quick look around before he gives a soft peck to Jared's brow for not yelling and just complying with his request. He loves the slight blush with Jared dipping his head at the show of such mild affection. It's obvious Jared hasn't had these kind of reinforcements in his life that let him know he's loved and cared for.

Now it's not about caring if they're seen. Jensen takes hold of Jared's fingers, threading them through his and drags his Omega past the threshold and out the front door.

“I could get used to this.” Jared mumbles out as he shyly hides his face into Jensen's shoulder. The sneakers don't give him much of a lift in height over his Alpha.

They knock bodies as they walk side by side. Jared uses his other hand to shape the whole arm of the hand he's holding. Weird how such a simple action arouses and grounds him at the same time. It has to be because Jensen's grip is so strong and confident, like they were always supposed to fit this perfectly together.

Jensen is taking out his keys, one-handed, and liking how Jared clings to his arm and hand like he isn't about to let go. They round the side of the SUV blocked from the house and Jensen backs himself against the shiny black bodywork. He's using their bonded hands to grab onto Jared's hip beneath the quilt he wears like a jacket. Lips trail along a cheek to pause over an open mouth, forcing Jared to be the one to seek out the desired pressure to munch hard and deep as he puts out his other hand to brace on the SUV. He breaks away to suck in a breath once their groins brush and then he's locking his arm around Jensen's neck and trying to climb him like a tree.

Jared whimpers as he feels wet lips and tongue along his neck, nibbling and licking skin. “This isn't helping us one bit.”

“Beg to differ.” Jensen mutters as he keeps going for this one spot on Jared's throat that seems to thrum with his frantic heart beats. “I have to do something to sustain me at work today.”

Jared's fingers crawl down from shoulders to upper chest and, beneath the coat Jensen wears, he makes fists in the soft material of the button-down plaid. “I wish I could be there with you, bring you lunch like yesterday. Sophia sounded like she really wanted to talk to me.” They had met the Beta on her way back up the stairs as Jensen had come up with the brilliant idea to “walk” Jared back to Milo's room, where the door was wide open. Sophia had pulled Jared aside to talk in private, away from Jensen.

“ _heyhey_...stop apologizing.” Jensen had thought Sophia would've caught them with her inquiry into where Jared had been all night, since she had expected him to sleep in her bedroom. “You already know I worry about her.” He was pulling and tugging the quilt around Jared's body as if it were a coat or a shirt. “If you can crack through the wall like you did for Chad...I'll be yours forever.” Jensen winks as he smiles broadly. “I trust your judgment, that you understand how I feel, what I wish I could do for her.”

“I'm an extension of my Alpha.” Jared stares at and lightly skims Jensen's lips with one finger. “I'll try not to fuck this up too much.”

“...mmm, kiss me again...” Jensen feels himself go weak and his butterflies flutter as he feels hands shape the sides of his head as his Omega leans in for one last solid melding of their mouths. “ _...god-damn..._ you weren't lying about kissing for you.”

Jared brushes nosetips with Jensen, smirking an inch away from parted lips. “Plenty of lonely nights to practice my technique.”

“I'll gladly become your new ' _practice toy_ '.” Jensen reaches up to brush fingers through then grip onto the brown strands. “Even the bad ones might feel good.”

“ _hehehe..._ go on...” Jared pulls his Alpha off the bodywork of the SUV then gently pushes him to keep moving toward the driver's side door. “Get inside before I sneak in another one.”

Jensen reluctantly climbs in and fumbles to put the key in the ignition. He's flustered by Jared at his side, touching his thigh and leaning on his shoulder. As he lets the engine warm idle, Jensen slips his left arm around Jared's waist, under the quilt and tucks his Omega close, burying his face in dark hair and sweet-smelling neck. He's trying to even his heavy breathing while inhaling as much of Jared's spicy odor as he can. “I'm gonna be so unproductive at work.”

“Don't worry, _love_.” Jared sends a limp arm around to smooth over Jensen's back. “It's one day out of hundreds, where you always give of yourself.” He lifts his chin in confidence then watches Jensen staring at him, then needs to avert his head. “It's time to take back all you've sacrificed. Time to find your happiness and inner peace.” Jared starts to move like he's backing away but Jensen slides his left hand around to cup Jared's neck, thumb playing along the jawline.

“I'm leavin' it here, with you.” Jensen feels Jared scramble a hand out to touch his left wrist.

Jared lets out fast breaths as he feels a hardness beneath the sleeve. Situating their hands to hold Jensen's in his, he unbuttons the cuff to reveal the leather. “You're wearing my bracelet.”

“It's holding some of the cravings at bay, but not by much.” Jensen tingles where he senses Jared's fingers touching as he caresses skin and hard leather.

Jared swipes at an eye then under his nose as he buttons the cuff back up the way it was before he tore it open. “We need to get one made about you, so I can wear you on my wrist.”

Jensen refuses to let go of Jared's hand, not letting him slip away too soon before he's prepared. “I used to snicker at those mated couples I saw being _this_ sentimental and sickeningly sweet.” Green eyes look at hazel under shy lowered lashes. “Now I understand why they simply did it without a care to my teasings.”

“It's merely how we survive—no matter how human we attempt to be.” With his free hand, Jared reaches out to delicately pat on Jensen's chest, almost over his heart. “We'll always know best what lies beneath.”

“Damn...” Jensen flashes eyes to his wristwatch and the LCD clock on his dashboard. “I gotta go.”

“I know.” Jared pretends to “fix” Jensen's button-down collar and the coat lapels.

Jensen places a hand to Jared's cheek, watching the face turn into his palm, then kiss lightly. “I'll call when I get in my office.”

Jared takes the hand off his face, sandwiching the shape between his palms as he backs away slowly, twisting to grab with one hand onto the door. “Work on at least _one piece_ that makes you smile today in the workshop.”

Jensen allows Jared to let go of his hand, reaching out for the framework of the door. “I've got two special orders I'm working with to ship out on Monday of next week.” He finally inserts the key to start the engine as the door slams with both of their hands on the open window ledge.

“I'm having that foundation expert come in and bring me that special blend he makes with crushed glass.” Jared's got both hands clamped around the ledge, on either side of Jensen's fingers briefly, before his Alpha pulls away to fidget the driving controls to work toward him. Jared goes on talking as Jensen situates himself in the seat. “He's going to help me pour and set the cement for the temple, filling that section of ground I dug. Then we'll have to wait 24-48hrs to dry, but Phase 2 will happen once the main flooring structure is completed. We'll place it down on somewhat moist cement.”

“ _wow..._ efficient.” Jensen watches Jared remove one hand so he can set down his left elbow, then his Omega settles one hand on his coat sleeve. “Like everything else my Omega touches.”

“I've seen three temples built.” Jared has sense enough to look a little embarrassed by the sound of pride in Jensen's voice. “This is the first one on my own. Hope I don't disappoint.”

One hand, his right, at one o'clock on the leather wheel cover, Jensen leans back against the soft headrest. “I had this wild idea that you'd be doing every single damn thing by your own hand. Since you refused Chad's help.”

Jared smiles while shaking his head. “It was sweet of him to offer, but temples have to be constructed in a specific way.” He gives a final hard squeeze to Jensen's forearm, then draws backward along the paved driveway. He's still in range to be heard conversing. “Once the drawing concept is fully actualized, there's a set of steps already pre-set and arranged to follow and it all falls into place fairly quickly once started.”

Jensen shifts gears into “drive”, then turns to look at Jared directly. “Call me if you need an extra hand or...if you need _anything_. Promise?”

“yeah, I promise.” Jared gives another strong pat to the ledge of the car door's window. “Have a good day.”

“I'll try.” Jensen mouths as he's pressed the electronic lever to raise the glass back up to keep the heat inside the cab.

Jared doesn't even know how long he stands there until he sees red taillights, then watches them make a right turn. With his head down, biting on a thumbnail, he wanders back up the sidewalk and heads into the house through the front door.

==&&==&&==

Chad was on the computer in Steve's upstairs office. He had actually been looking over the music store's website and catalogs. He has been curious to discover just how Steve has gotten this place so well-known amongst so many popular musicians. He's engrossed in focusing on the computer monitor that he never hears the door open and close, then lock. Chad does feel a bit hotter, thinking the air scents different for a split second, but he doesn't imagine it's because Christian is right behind him and it's his hands massaging his shoulders.

“ ** _...mother-fuck!..._** ” Chad scrambles away in the desk chair, spinning to face his Alpha. “ _jesus christ..._ you scared me.” He tries to kick Christian away, but his trademark Chucks don't make a dent in keeping Christian back.

Not only does he get near, but Christian tumbles to his knees, between Chad's spread legs; his hands soothe up and down the Khaki trousers over the flattened thighs. “ _...god...I miss'd you..._ you look—good.” He tilts his head, eyes narrowing. “You seem at peace...happier.”

Chad can sense his arousal rising, but it doesn't feel right. His heat should be here in only a few days, that's when he had expected Christian to return. “Did Steve know you'd land today?”

“Yup.” Christian nods his head, a smirk building on his lips. “He's the one who picked me up and brought me to my truck in the terminal parking lot, then I drove here to see you.”

Chad shoves at Christian's shoulders. “Why didn't you talk to me? Email? Text?! **_Some_** _-thing!?!_ ”

“I needed my space.” Christian keeps his head bowed as he speaks softly, almost muffled.

“...but you emailed Steve.” Chad closes his eyes because even _he_ heard his tone sound a little whine-y.

Christian lifts up one side of his mouth, the same side of the dark eyebrow lifting. “You jealous?” He hopes Chad is as jealous as he often fantasies him being.

“ ** _No!_** ”

“ ** _Liar!_** ” Christian lets his fingers play along the buttons of Chad's shirt. “I also _needed_ you to miss me...wanted you to think about me so that when I did return, maybe you'd want me badly enough that we could finally ' _be_ ' together—like I know we're meant to be.”

Chad attempts to being a big ole meanie, crossing his arms and looking a bit frowny-faced. “I _hate_ you.” It's the way his voice cracks that proves there's no truth in that statement.

“You _love_ me. You never stopped.” Christian leans forward to kiss up Chad's chest, starting from the waistband of his suspender-ed trousers. “We have the office to ourselves. The couch is a good place to...” He doesn't expect Chad to smack him across the face. It isn't hard or hurtful, but the move is unexpected and stirs an arousal in Christian. He distances himself, adjusting on his knees as he goes unbalanced, holding his jaw.

“In a few days, I'll be in heat.” Chad spins the chair to avoid Christian's body on the floor, still kneeling. “Catch me then. I'll be fertile enough, so you'll get what you want.” He shoots off the chair, slowly walking away so he can tame his want to just grab onto his Alpha, yank him toward his quivering body and rip every single one of his clothes off.

Christian snickers, using the chair' structure to rise off the floor. “I get it. I deserve it.” He swivels to face Chad, soothing along his stung jawline. “You get this _one_ chance to give it to me good, Omega, but after...” One index finger juts in the air as Christian swallows down his need to be aggressive and stake his rightful claim. “I'll only say this _one_ time, so you better fuckin' listen.” He blinks slowly and purposeful—like he's practiced this speech about a million times on the flight over—as he sets his hands to cup his hips. “I'm sorry...” Christian touches his own chest, smoothing a hand down the flat torso. “You have no idea to the depths of my apologies for you in the life you had before we met. And I'm sorry for making you remember the past, making you think a _kid_ is more important than you.” He can see Chad rub the side of his face, hears the sniffles of holding back tears. “You knew when you met me, Omegas were not on my radar and havin' 'pups' was so far away from my end-goal...you came into my life in a time when I was part of my own pack. I was secondary Alpha and the only one besides Jensen.” Christian begins to moves across the room, along the carpeted floor to approach Chad. “You won me over, beat down all my misgivings of why I didn't want an Omega. Pack life taught me that I could have everything I wanted. I'd always thought I could only have enough, not excess.” He detects Chad continually glancing over a shoulder, like he's still interested in hearing what his Alpha has to say. Christian stops in the middle of the floor, arms folding over his chest as he sniffles out a laugh and shakes his head. “In walked perfectly coiffed and pretty Adrian...an' I saw the way he doted on Milo...the way it caused Milo to give more to his Alpha. I envied that, got a little jealous. I challenged and battled myself. Thought it'd be a passing thing. Surely I couldn't have my career, a Beta, an Omega and my pack. That would only set me up to failure.”

Chad twists around slightly, his own arms crossed over his body as he side-glances at Christian with a sad smile. “I knew you didn't _want_ to want me, _want_ our mating.” He turns back to face straight ahead, then raises his chin high. “It wasn't easy to be with you when it was clear you were disgusted with either me or yourself.”

“I'm sorry it came out like that.” Christian truly is; he's had enough time alone to do an overview of everything he may have done wrong to Chad when they first met. “I had you, you were mine.” He chuckles softly as he hopes Chad is genuinely hearing him. “I really didn't know what to do with you, which is why I didn't mind your skittishness. This slow build-up to us having sex...just the sex, not the knotting. I was scared to eventually knot you because I'd be...you'd be _real_ — ** _my_** _responsibility_.” Christian keeps gently punching a bunched fist to his own chest. “I'd _have_ to care. You'd be my mated Omega in every single way.”

Chad folds his arms, keeping his head bowed but a smirk plays off his mouth. “God. I knew all of this, but I was so fucked-in-the-head, I turned it into my own guilt.” He soothes a hand along his cheek, then curls around his jaw. “I knew ways to _play_ you, _con_ you...make you believe every word out of my mouth as truth.” Chad is willing to admit and accept that they both have gone about their whole entire relationship the wrong way, and that they both feel ready to make it right.

“Learning about your past, I was ashamed of myself. I haven't been much of an Alpha. I hadn't been the kind of Alpha you needed.” Christian gradually nears Chad, arms still folded over his body. “—but I _want_ to be. I want us to start from a beginning. Even if it's getting to know each other—and we just hang out. I've got these next two weeks free and we can—”

“No.” Chad states quite plain and simple.

Christian stops in his steps, startled look to his features. “huh?”

“I don't want to go back to a ' _beginning_ '.” Chad finally turns his head to look directly at his Alpha as he tucks his fingers in the front pockets of his trousers. “I like where we are...all broken and awkward...wanting our old ways, but needing more.” He tilts his head to the side with a sly lift to his eyebrow and a smirk on his lips. “You didn't lock this door to ' _hang out_ ', Chris...you want to fuck me— _so fuck me_...”

“Actually, Chad...I want to knot you.” Christian picks up the pace again, almost close to Chad where he can take hold of an arm or a portion of his body. “I want you to take my knot when you aren't in heat...possibly fertile, because us getting back on track isn't us having our own 'pup'. Not even for the pack.”

“ _jesus...you want me because you want me..._ ” Chad stares ahead into Christian's genuine smiling face, stunned and a little breathless.

Christian pauses as he's now barely an inch or two apart from Chad. “Is that so hard to believe?”

“uh, yeah.” Chad backs up a few steps, bouncing off his feet in a small sense of excitement. “I was, like, geeky fanboy when you first saw me. **_I_** wouldn't've wanted to fuck me.”

“I thought you were cute.” Christian says the word with a bow to his head, looking toward Chad from the side. He's remembering just how attracted he had been right at the second his Omega had spoken. “Such an encyclopedia in that beautiful mind for music. I could've talk to you for hours that night.”

Chad nods his head, but has to avert his gaze as Christian slowly approaches. Now he's simply going to spatter out nonsense. “I like watching you on stage. That's the Alpha I _admire_ — _this_ you... _here_...laying yourself open for me, tha's the Alpha I _love_.”

“mmm...” Christian unfolds his arms, hands reaching out to playfully snatch each one of the suspenders dangling down Chad's shirt. “...told you...can't help but love me.”

==&&==&&==

Sophia is buttoning her thin thigh-length wool jacket over her three-piece pant-suit. She would walk a few steps then pause to balance on a post to adjust one of her heels, then attempt to scurry-walk down the long awning-ed walkway leading to the employee parking lots. She has her Bluetooth clip perched in, and on, her ear as she carries on a conversation with her personal secretary.

“ ** _Tell Dr. Brennan I'll have to reschedule our appointment. huh?...nono—I'm not joking. Well, 'cuz this is more important than us—an' I mean 'pack'—conforming to his every whim._** ” Sophia clutches her purse and her array of bags in her arms, slung over her shoulders. “ ** _I don't care if he thinks imma bitch._** ” She has to stop at some point along the covered sidewalk because she can swear she sees Jared sitting on one of the pedestrian benches along the walk. “ ** _huh? No, I'm still here, uh...gotta cut this short, like, now, huh?...uh, well, seems like my lunch date came to meet me. uh...an' I'm putting my phone to voicemail. Don't send any calls to me. Yeah...I'll be coming back, but it won't be right away. Uh-huh...bye..._** ” She taps her ear, then pushes off the thick brick column to make her way toward Jared who looks deeply immersed in a conversation with some elderly lady, seemingly quite enamored of the young male Omega. Sophia quirks up one side of her mouth once she catches those striking laughing hazel eyes staring at her. “What are you doing here? I was leavin' early to go pick you up at home.” She makes it appear as if she's irked by having her plans thwarted; she's not, she's extremely relieved.

Jared goes to open his mouth to speak as he leans his left arm on the lady's wicker basket, probably full of knitting and crochet items. “Work is so close to the house. It's a nice walk. I don't mind.”

The older woman smiles as her head bobs between the two young people. “Is this ' _the wife_ ', dear?”

Sophia snorts out a very unladylike laugh. She's about ready to let the stranger know a few truths when Jared bends in and whispers...

“She's my Alpha.” Jared teases with a wink to Sophia.

The old lady seems stunned that she's been sitting with a “wolf” this whole time. He has appeared so tame, sweet-natured and kind...so human, so normal. “Are you one o'them, uh...Betas?”

“No...I'm Omega.” Then Jared does the meanest thing ever and rubs his belly. “I jus' found out we're carryin'. We're goin' out to celebrate.” He stands, kisses the stranger's hand like a true gentleman and takes the wicker basket in his grip. “Nice to meet you. Bless you an' keep you safe.” Jared wanders over to take some of Sophia's bags like they weigh nothing as he slings them over one broad shoulder. He's able to wrap his free arm around Sophia's shoulders, nuzzling her pinned up raven hair. “ _...please...get me outta here before I physically harm her..._ ”

Sophia gives a tiny grin to the startled elderly lady, then hangs onto Jared's arm with a soft slap to his backside. “...you're such a bad, bad boy...” She peers around Jared's torso and gives a paltry air-wave. “Bye now.”

“ _...g'bye..._ ” The mumbled response from the bench is never heard by either pack member.

Sophia attempts to keep her calm and cool as they wander away across the first parking lot. “Jesus, what the hell was _that_?” She's caught between a laugh and a snort as she attempts to stroll side by side with the taller Omega.

“Now I know why her husband left her there to sit while he went inside. I'm used to nonsensical chatter, but she was trying to get all up in my personal business.” Jared watches Sophia draw away to pull out the car keys as they approach her Lexus. At the far distance that they're at she pops the trunk lid for him, then unlocks all four doors. Jared sees the blinking taillights and keeps on moving alongside the Beta. “Busy day so far?”

“eh, end of the week bullshit.” Sophia tries not to let out too many deep sighs she's been holding in. “People scrambling 'round to get crap done they've been neglecting for a week, so they have a less frantic weekend.” She stands at the open trunk, hand on the raised lid. “You didn't have to walk here. I invited you out.” Sophia watches, amazed, as Jared sets all of her bags inside the bed lining, then drops the wicker basket down—every action is done like he'd performed the routine numerous times. “I was willing to go pick you up.” She unbuttons her jacket in order to take it off before she sits behind the wheel.

Jared keeps Sophia's purse out as he organizes the inside of the trunk so nothing slides or shifts during their drive. “I had a full morning once the foundation guy showed. It was an easier job than we thought.”

Sophia is barely even interested in the new project Jared had begun this week. She's been way-too curious about what he had brought with him. “What's in your basket, Red Riding Hood?”

“A picnic.” Jared chuckles as he shuts the trunk lid. “...so, food, drinks...an' stuff.”

“A picnic?” A slow shoulder roll at a time, Sophia inches the wool material off her body. It's been too long since she's heard the word. “Are you fuckin' serious?”

“ _What?_ ” Jared laughs outright as he plops the purse on top of the lid.

Sophia spreads out her arms to show Jared how business-like she's attired. “I'm not exactly dressed to sit on the ground and eat with my fingers.”

Jared's slipping out of his own coat—the one that belongs to Jensen. His brow frowns deeply in mock-worry as he happens to mention exactly what this picnic means. “Not even if it's from your favorite gourmet restaurant...prepared by **_the_** Chef Russette?”

“ _waitwait_...” Sophia steps over to Jared, placing a hand flat to his chest in shock. “You got Chef **_Ero_** **_Russette_** to cater **_our_** picnic?”

Jared shrugs one shoulder as if it meant nothing. “Ero's a frequent client of the spiritual center.”

“ _uh-huh...oh-kayyy..._ ” If Sophia didn't already think Jared was wonderful and pretty fucking amazing, she'd certainly be changing her tune right about now. _“..._ but he's the best Beta chef and pack restaurateur in the Dallas area. He doesn't just... _stop_ his daily routine for any ole person.”

“I know.” Jared nods his head once, then looks down as he goes on to speak. “I brought him an ' _offering_ ' from the leftovers from Tuesday night—when you made that pan-seared beef dish.” He leans his right arm on the trunk, cupping Sophia's purse to his body. “I think he got inspired, but I won't swear on it.”

“... ** _holy christ!_** You fed _my food_ to Russette?” Sophia's beginning to feel fidgety and wanting to pace, but every time she moves one way, she keeps turning back around to head toward Jared. “An' he made _us_ food because of it?”

“He's a cool guy.” Jared talks in a low timber, hoping to calm Sophia down. “He'd love to meet you...and Steve. I told him about all the meals you guys make for the pack every night.”

“ _...you gotta be shittin' me..._ ” Sophia playfully shoves at Jared, chuckling lightly with him as they both dissolve into laughter. “ ** _I hate you!_** I _really_ do. Stop bein' so fuckin' amazing an' making me like you so fuckin' much.” She huffs off to the driver's side door, while Jared climbs into the passenger seat.

As he buckles in, Jared reaches out to clutch her arm, giving a gentle squeeze as he tilts his head to cause their eyes to connect. “I'm sorry if I make you feel like I'm taking over and switching plans on you, making you feel overwhelmed. I didn't like the idea of us going out to a public place.” He sits back into his seat, setting the purse down on the floormat at his feet. Jared sends his fingers up and down the pant-suit jacket sleeve to soothe. “You just sounded like you really needed to talk and not just to anyone, but to me. I don't like to publicly air people's honesty, not when I can get so much more from being alone in their favorite place that makes them feel content and calm.” Jared removes his hand and clears his throat. “Milo mentioned you like a nearby local park that sits beside a lake...the one with the hiking trails and, uhm...a ' _fish pond_ '...he said.”

“A _koi_ pond.” Sophia tries to fit the key in the ignition, but her hand shakes. “In the summertime, I like to relax an' eat by the koi pond.”

Jared cups a comforting hand on Sophia's shoulder, then takes the key ring out of her grasp to start the ignition from where he's seated. “Can you drive?”

“yeah. I'll be all right.” Sophia gives off a reassuring smile, though her eyes are misting with wetness. “I should've done _this_ sooner.”

“What? Left work early?”

“No...” Sophia places her arm up on the window ledge, against the glass and starts to scratch at her scalp. “...asked you out to lunch. I feel like I got a shit-ton of things to get off my chest.” She takes hesitant glances at Jared, feeling a little bashful.

“Don't force yourself to tell me anything you don't want to.” Jared reaches out to softly scrape a curled finger over the flushed cheek, prepared to catch any tears that fell, but they never do. “I'm only a guide, not your priest or confessor.”

Sophia takes a huge deep breath, then turns to give another, stronger, smile toward the Omega. “Most of what I have to say involves you, then...I'll think 'bout asking your advice on a pretty sensitive subject. I'm going to have to become more comfortable telling it.”

Jared shifts to put his hand on the seat-back, right over Sophia's shoulder. “Is it your deepest, darkest secret?”

“eh, depends on if you view me not telling anyone as me lying.” Sophia leans backward to look over at Jared. “Or if I can carry it off as a massive oversight.”

“Does it affect the present?”

“Sometimes.” Sophia shakes her head at being confused herself, knowing that once she gets alone with Jared and they're comfortable together, she'll be capable of focusing better and speaking coherently. “It's why I need your advice.”

“Well, then...” Jared sweeps his hand toward the windshield. “...let's get on the road and find this awesome and fabulous park so we can eat.” He nods his head on a solid bounce, positioning himself to stare out the glass in front of him. He wants to memorize the directions by pure eyesight to be able to have this park as a good reference in his mind. “Then we'll talk for whatever time we have left.”

Sophia shifts the gears to look behind and then back the car slowly out of the parking space.

==&&==&&==

 **TBC...**


	19. Chapter 19

Chad starts walking backward, unbuttoning his trousers, sliding off the thin suspenders to eventually take off his shirt.

Christian side-eyes his movements to the flat surface of a wall. “Where you goin', Chad?”

“I dunno.” Chad puffs out a quick breath as he lands hard on the surface. He pauses in his actions to look at his Alpha. “Wall sex is pretty hot. Think you can lift me an' hold on while you—?”

“ _whoawhoawhoa_...what is _this_?” Christian gestures toward Chad, then between their bodies. “Did we _just_ meet? Why you actin' like we don't know each other? Like we haven't already had sex and we've never...”

Chad relaxes on the wall surface, bottom hem of his shirt rucked up by his own eager hands. “You want me, right? Want to knot me here...now?”

Christian is taking cautious steps toward his Omega. “yeah, I do.” He glances over at the one piece of furniture in the room he has been eyeballing. “Why can't we start over here, on the couch, where it's comfortable and I won't drop you or break my fuckin' back tryin' to carry you for, like, an hour.”

“ ** _shit! You'll last an hour?!?_** ” Chad is stunned by the sheer optimism in Christian's tone.

Christian furrows his brow as he tilts his head in curiosity. “Chad, exactly what do you know 'bout knotting?”

“—a few things.” Chad speaks with a bit of a stutter, because he's only aware in this exact moment that he's never actually read up on this kind of information; he's only gathered what he thinks he knows and compiled it with a bunch of crap he's collected over the years. He's never been confident enough to admit he's naïve about a lot to do with knotting, which probably is why he's scared to do it. “It's not the kind of ice breaker that makes friends.”

“It works like the sex we've already had, but this time...” Christian folds his arms over his chest, his hands grappling for the sides of his ribcage as he zeros in, concentrating hard on Chad's reactions. “...I go all the way in—my knot pushes through the stretch of your—”

“uh, duh...” Chad pushes off the wall, thumbs sliding the suspenders back up his shoulders as he fixes his shirt hem and then loosely pulls his open trousers together. “I'm not utterly stupid. I know that much. Wha's so different that it take so long we might...”

“Chad, when my knotted cock is inside you, both—growing larger and thicker...”

“yeah, okay...” Chad nods his head, his eyes blinking fast as he takes in what he's being told, which is stuff he already knows. “Still not seein' why...” He's interrupted by Christian's hand demonstration as he speaks.

“Dude, my knot—” Christian forms an “O” with thumb and index finger of one hand, while the fist of the other tries to go into the circle formation; the mock-hole does open for the mock-knot, but then it locks around the end of Christian's wrist to show how it'll remain in place. “—it locks inside your body, like so much that you can't roll away from me like you usually do.”

“So we stay, uhm...” Chad has to look away, briefly, as he swallows hard and scratches at his cheek. “... _joined_ for a few extra minutes?”

Christian crosses his arms, raising one eyebrow as his memory rewinds. “eh, I've had some where I've stayed hard for _two_ hours.”

“oh, fuck! C'mon, man!” Chad throws his arms up in mock-defeat. He pulls back his long sleeve to reveal his nice, expensive wristwatch, tapping the glass face. “I don't really have that kind of time jus' layin' around. I's rude to take Steve's office over like this.”

Christian smirks, swiping a hand over his rough cheek as he tucks one of his hands into his front pocket. “Steve knows—an' Steve doesn't mind. He wants _this_ to happen for us.” He motions his free hand between their bodies to mean the “this”, unspoken.

“Seriously, can we jus'...uhm” Chad stumbles a bit, almost landing back on the wall, but he starts to swipe at the corners of his brow at his hairline, right under where his front bangs lay sprawled over pale skin. “...can I, uh...?”

“Wha's wrong?” Christian grows concerned because Chad's never been this nervous over sex before.

“Everything.” Chad lowers his hands to rub over his vocal stomach—more like the fluttering in his belly is about to retreat. He shouldn't have scarfed down his lunch so fast, thinking he could somehow hoodwink Steve into letting him leave early so he could go hibernate at the studio for a few hours before he crawled back home.

Christian crosses his arms again, but this time he wraps his arms around his own ribcage, holding on because he doesn't know what to do with his hands—other than reach out and grab for his Omega. “man, that narrows it down.”

Chad holds up a hand toward his Alpha. “Look...I think it's awesome that you're ready and raving to go. I mean, you've had several hours ahead of me to sit this right in your head.” He places his palm flat to his upper chest, soothing over his rapidly beating heart. “I, uh...I've had five minutes.”

It's the manner in which Chad reacts to him coming closer and, maybe, the low timber of his voice, Christian knows Chad's keeping more secrets from him. “...you're wet for me, aren't you?”

Chad hides his hands at his backside. “No-ah...” He slides away from the wall, but won't turn around to reveal his what could, or couldn't be, going on behind him.

“Chad, I know you.” Christian lifts his chin up, eyes narrowing on Chad's face and his curious body language. “You've probably been wet since my plane landed and I was on my way up the staircase.”

“So what if I am?” Chad shrugs one shoulder, moving to shift closer to a corner of the room where he can lean on office furniture or equipment, getting as far away from the couch as possible. “Doesn't mean I'm ready to go for you... _wham-bam-thank-you-man_...”

“You're hard too...” Christian doesn't have to look directly at Chad's groin to know this for a fact. “—or getting there.”

“Stop.” Chad screws his face up to look at Christian with a semi-sneer, like he hates how smug his Alpha can be about his blatant attraction to him. “Stop painting obvious shit out. Alls it does is boost _your_ fucking ego.”

Christian has never understood why Chad hasn't just given-in to him, knowing that once he does those aches and pains inside go away—not for good, but they dissipate and he can function throughout the day. “I can help you feel better, Chad. Trust me. I've been knotting Omegas for years—”

Chad gives a deathly glare toward Christian, really not prepared to hear about past bullshit that never involved him. “...tha's not comforting at all. I don't give a shit 'bout all your other Omega bitches.”

“Good. I'm glad.” Christian bites his inner cheek because he knows how to goad his Omega into reacting the way he likes—possessive and focused on him, alone.

“Well, I'm fuckin' glad you're glad.”

“Are you playin' hard to get?” Christian raises an eyebrow in perplexity. He shoves a thumb over his shoulder, like the previous moments in the room are standing behind him. “About three minutes ago you told me to fuck you.”

“I can change my mind.” Chad averts his head away, rubbing over his nape as he relaxes to sit on the surface of a low file cabinet.

“yeah, you can.” Christian nods his head, then rubs his chin to wander closer to Chad. “Look, I'm not here to pressure you or force you into something that _clearly_...frightens you.” But as he walks near, he turns to leave, talking slow deliberate step to the locked door—it's a threat that he'll go, for good. “Maybe it's best if I just go...”

“ ** _wait!_** Don't...go.” Chad sighs heavy, pounding a clenched fist down on the surface next to his leg as he shakes his head in mild disgust. “ ** _christ!_**...you fuckin' Alphas an' your scents an' your arousals and your poorly-timed hotness...” He folds his own arms over his chest, almost puffing out his lungs with pride. “You love getting us this broken down and quaking for you...have us where you want us, where you can keep us under your thumb, under your control.”

Christian feels his whole body deflating, simply because sometimes he wonders where the line is for Chad's joking and teasing, when to take him seriously. “Is _that_ what you think? That I only want to dominate you an' ' _win_ ' some kind of Alpha merit badge?”

“I dunno.” Chad shrugs both shoulder, looking off to the side to them come back and stare at Christian with some slight tension in his frame. It's tougher for him to not always sound like he's teasing, because he keeps a lot of his own opinions way down deep.“You guys whisper a lot around us lesser mortals, like you're perfect and invincible, like you don't crack or lose control.” It's times like these, when he's alone and can be his real self that he loves digging out these gems so he can throw curveballs when everyone expects him to always be the clown.

“Is that what you want?” Christian has been curious to how Chad really wants him to be with him in their bedroom, when they're having sex or...trying to knot. Sometimes he just wonders if Chad would ever tell him an honest truth. “Me—breaking down and losing control in your presence? If I somehow show you we're no different and that we're equal in value—worth...will you finally let me knot you?”

“I don't know.” Chad can hear the sincerity in Christian's questions, but it's the whole complete dynamic of body and facial features that throw him off; he can't trust his Alpha not to turn out like all the rest of them. He has to put up that barrier before Christian finds a way over. “Wha's the stakes?”

“ _jesus, Chad_...” Christian growls out as he spins, grabbing for the doorknob. He turns it, forgetting that it's been locked; it seems that Chad has forgotten as well. “...I'll see you at home...”

“ ** _HEY!!_** ” Chad calls out with a quiver to his tone.

Christian pauses, slowly swiveling back around. “I'm not here to play games, Chad, or be your long con.” He points down to the floor between their feet. “You either want _this_ or you don't.” Christian is halfway to giving up altogether, which he'll never show to Chad, but his Omega will eventually figure out.

“so...” Chad roughly pushes off the surface he's been seated on to stroll loosely across the room, but not toward Christian. “...I say ' _yes_ ' now, we fuck, I take your knot— _we're all good_.” He swishes his head to an opposite side as if in deep thought, not even looking at his Alpha. “I say ' _no_ ' and almost freak out, you leave, I come home after work an'... _what? We're no longer any good_?” Chad stops, giving Christian a view of his profile with a side glance. “I don't have a _second_ chance?”

Christian sighs heavy as he leans weakly on the wall, partly on the door paneling. “I really don't know how many chances I have left to offer. I mean—what do you think all those time we only fucked were? And at every opportunity was yet another ' _no_ ' to knotting.”

“ _oh..._ I didn't know my chance had limits.” Chad softens his voice to the lowest tone possible, barely a whisper. He's close to feeling defeat, and it's possible he's ready to give up if he thinks Christian is genuine in his want to leave. “You shoulda told me.”

Christian shakes his head in earnest sadness. “And I'm hurt that as close as I thought we'd become, you still managed to leave out your whole truth.”

“I've stated my peace.” Chad sticks out his hands in his defense. “I'm done apologizing for not being honest. But you can't punish me...”

“Punish you? Chad...” Christian chokes on a small laugh, but then tilts his head. “I'm not talking about your past or your issues with your old pack, how you grew up.” He pushes off the wall, holding up two fingers like a “peace” sign. “For two years now, I thought I'd gotten somewhere with you, anywhere except stuck in neutral. I'm talking about these years I've been patient and given you _exactly_ what _you_ wanted, despite _my_ wants, _my_ needs.” Christian juts his chin out in an attempt to prove how dedicated he'd been to helping Chad any way he could. “I even went out and started reading those asinine Omega self-help books.”

“... _Omegas For Dummies_ is a great one...” Chad lightly teases, but doesn't add his usual stilted laughter.

Christian hangs his head, smoothing a hand over his brow. “Chad, no more jokes.”

“ _...sorry..._ ” Chad dips chin to chest, mumbling as he gives out a small sad smile, “they're aren't enough ' _sorries_ ' in this world to say how sorry I am— _especially to you_.”

“I'm tired, Chad.” Christian places his hands, bunched like fists, on his hips. “This is becoming, like, actual work and I don't even know what work is, having always sung to pay my bills.”

“Maybe, uh...maybe we shouldn't, uhm...be mates.” Chad keeps staring at the floor when he says these words, “I see, uh...I know there's Omegas out there you'd have an easier time with, maybe they...” It's when he looks up at his Alpha that he takes a long pause.

“Is that _really_ what you want?” Christian lifts one lone eyebrow. “To leave me?”

“No.” Chad knows he sounds like a little kid, which he stills feels like sometimes.

“So why did you...?” Christian is a bit stunned by Chad's confusing antics; they're more baffling than usual.

“Because man...look at you.” Chad throws his hands up in defeat, letting his arms loosely dangle by his sides once he's made a weak motion toward Christian standing across from him. “I mean—look at you with your long flowing Fabio-hair an' your chiseled good looks...your sweet, tight ass and that compact, muscular body that jus' won't quit...”

“ _...chad..._ ” Christian feels a little unsettled by the way Chad talks about his appearance, like he's equating him to some kind of “hunk” or “hottie” material. But just when he thought it was over, his Omega kept on going.

Chad starts to take a stroll around the room, still keeping a distance from Christian. “Look at you—Christian Kane...lead singer of an awesome band, KANE. You got talent pouring out your ears and when you play, strumming your six-strings...god, I swear it's like angels in heaven. You're about to become ' _someone_ '. You're gonna matter to more people than you'll be able to fathom, playing to 50,000-seat arenas, headlining with Billboard chart artists...” He stops in the center of the office, and he crosses arms over his chest as he stares his Alpha down. “Dude, compare **_me_** to **_that_**...I'm simply a cog in the wheel...”

“ _jesus_...your thought process astounds me.” Christian tucks his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “It's what makes you the brilliant producer you are—the magic behind the sad balladeer. You're gonna go places beyond me. Already you're getting artists to love the music they've been working with for years. You change lives, Chad. You're changing mine as we speak. I'd fuckin' hate for you not to be here, right beside me, as I try to live out my dream. It'd be a dud without you.”

“...I am so fuckin' sorry, Chris...” Chad bows his head, unable to look at Christian. “...so damn-fuckin' sorry, you have no idea...”

“no-no...I think I do.” Christian comes back to the center of the room, nearing Chad. “I don't like making you this upset.”

“I'm in a fragile place.” Chad peers at his Alpha from the side, giving him a tiny grin from one end of his mouth. “It's not your fault.”

Christian nods his head, looking Chad up and down as if seeing into him deeper. “You still pretty raw and open?”

“I think I always will be, you know...” Chad lifts his head a little, the smile growing a bit wider as he shrugs lightly. “...'til I'm not.”

“ _mmm...jesus_ , do I hear you.” Christian takes out one hand to soothe over his chin, then along his jawline. “I'm sure we're all like that an' don't even know it.”

“...sorry I ruined your, uh...' _love scene_ '...” Chad stifles a soft laugh as he makes a small gesture around the room.

Christian gives out a weak shrug of nonchalance. “eh, I'm happy we talked an' got this surface shit out.”

“Me too.”

Christian keeps walking toward Chad as he talks, “Think it'd be okay if I got to hold you for a little while?”

“ _...yeah..._ I think I'd kinda like that actually.” Chad wraps himself tight around Christian, both of them holding on like they'd drown without the other.

Between their bodies, Christian fixes Chad's trousers, adjusts the suspenders and pulls down the shirt a bit further. Chad watches this with a subtle lift to an eyebrow, then connects gazes with his Alpha. Christian draws him close, swooping in to steal a kiss while Chad stands so still, arms dangling and body tense. He shuts his eyes, leaning and pushing in, but then Christian pulls back and Chad falters, his head bent over Christian's shoulder, almost nuzzling his neck. Chad feels the usual thrum of his body—his want, his need...toward his mated Alpha.

But this catches him differently in a way that leaves him speechless, unable to breathe without aching to know Christian will be leaving the office soon and...he has every chance he's been given flash back to him, realizing he's been slowly killing Christian's resolve, wearing him down to a point where he's become apathetic to knotting Chad. He hasn't truly seen the situation from his Alpha's viewpoint, too stuck on his own and too chickenshit to let someone else in, closer than anyone has ever been. He would imagine the fucking's enough because at least it's not being alone in your bed or the shower jacking off to a faked memory of some fantasy lover, but he's reaching an understanding that not many Alphas would be as patient or try with such effort to learn what he's done wrong to figure out what to do right.

Christian still has him by the front of his waistband, working on playing with the elasticity of his suspenders...then Chad leans in and kisses Christian's neck. There's a soft snicker with a flinch as it kind of tickles, but then Chad's scenting and now he's tasted his Alpha; his head is swimming with witty repartee but all he really wants to let out are growls and grunts.

Christian believes it's simply Chad reacting playful with him until Chad begins to move off the neck, his nose nudging the shirt collar aside to nip at bare flesh. “ _...oh fuck, man...please don' let this be another cocktease._ ”

Chad shakes his head, keeping chin bowed as he uses both hands to unbutton Christian's shirt. When he's close to the bottom, he pulls the material out of the denim and leaves it to drape open, showing off the tapered torso and the beautiful naked skin. There's a spattering of dark chest hair that nails lightly scratch through, but Chad dips low to tongue and lap at the dusky pert nipples. His hands settle along the ribcage, then yank Christian to mesh with his front. He wants to be clear that he's still hard and growing stiffer by the minute.

“ _...ohgod...chad..._ ” Christian latches onto the back of the blond head, holding steady as curious hands drop to his waist and unzip to tug down the jeans. “Are we jus' gonna fuck or are we—?” He can't say more because Chad kisses him silent, then licks along stubbled jaw to head down the throat. Christian watches Chad ease down to his knees, working both his briefs and jeans off his thighs. “ _...jesus, baby...I don' expect..._ ”

A cool breeze falls on wet bare skin, clenched teeth inhale a long stretch of air.

His Alpha's aroused state is obvious and directly in front of him. As he holds the shape of the hips, Chad mouths just the tip, sucking on the end of the bulbous head to lick along the stalk to catch the ring of knot close to the body, hidden by curls of pubic hair. He suckles on the knot, feeling hands clench fists in his hair. He'll give a blowjob and give it good, if that's what his Alpha wants...but it isn't. While he's on the floor, Chad slips the suspenders off his shoulders, drawing the shirt over his head and off his body by grabbing the bottom hem as he rises to crouching level. He unsnaps his trousers, then unzips to lower them with his underwear. He's felt the dripping of his drenched hole for a while, a little relieved now to have it filled shortly. Chad wanders over to climb onto the nearby couch cushions, knees on the edge as he faces the back, legs are spread wide. He shuts his eyes, stroking himself a she uses one hand on the back of the couch to balance.

Christian has to stare for several minutes before actually moving to stand behind Chad. He sees the wet puckered hole, catches the secretions that have slipped over skin, down inner thighs. He's tempted to penetrate with his cock but feels bad for nearly guilting his Omega into finally fulfilling his greatest wish. Christian plays at the entrance with his thumb while jerking on his length. As he pushes in, Chad pushes backward; there's always been an equal give and take. Christian bites his bottom lip as he notices Chad arch and roll his back with a hushed mewl at the pleasure he's feeling. He nears to lean over, kissing up the naked back along the spine. Chad drops his hand off his own cock to reach around and touch Christian, then slides down so he can cup an ass cheek or hip to show where he wants his Alpha to stand. Christian licks up the right shoulder blade, then bites gently along the shoulder bone. Chad's hand plays with the back of Christian's head, entwining with the long dark strands.

Christian is poised at the gape of the anus, then easily slides his length in to stop right at the point he's used to—right under his knot. He doesn't know why he hesitates, maybe because getting what he's most wanted has meant stripping his Omega almost to the rawest nerve...like kicking a man when he's already down.

“ _...chris..._ ”

Christian doesn't even hear his name.

“Christian...” Chad tries again but pushes off of the couch to merge his back with Christian's front and...suddenly Chad is sucking in an elongated breath as his hole is stretched to some ungodly limit once his Alpha is completely sheathed inside him—knot and all. At the initial burst of pain, Chad pitches forward and drags Christian with him to fall on top of him. Chad's knees slide to the floor and both men are thrown into a precarious, and quite exhilarating doggy-style position where Christian's inner thighs actually shape around Chad's outer thighs. Christian has even lifted off the floor; Chad face-planting into the cushions. They both go still, feeling out the sensations, knowing this hadn't been their intention, but why deny it since it won't help further things along.

Christian tests his first thrust; Chad muffles a whimper. Christian pumps twice more, quickening the jolts, which makes Chad mewl louder, rolling his head around. Christian pulls Chad slightly upright so he can at least plant the front of his feet on the floor, then is able to get proper balance as he begins to jut in a piston-pace, his hip-bones smacking loudly against Chad's bare ass. He wishes he could pull out easily so he can watch his cock sink in and out of the hole, but they're knotting and he's in there good and tight. Chad starts writhing underneath him, pushing off with his forehead and using the knuckles of his fists to hold himself off the cushions; he starts to roll and jiggle his pelvis, pushing backward to work that growing knot over his prostate.

Chad reaches down to keep stroking himself to an orgasm, but then Christian does a series of slow thrusts that rock his body and make him shiver from the inside out. He comes fast and heavy, crying out with each jolt as he clenches his anal walls around his Alpha's cock and knot...until a long stream of semen pours out of Christian as he screams out his release. He falls forward onto Chad's back as he keeps moving his hips while ejaculating. Chad feels the first spurts of warmth inside his rectum, but then it's immediately followed by the seepage leaking out of his hole, around the knot and dripping between his legs. God this should be gross to him but he's turned-on even more by the idea that he's so full of his Alpha's seed he's near to bursting. Of course now it's not so bad with the knot acting like a “plug”, but it's powerful and sexy, making him overheat and pant.

“ ** _...again..._** ”

Christian is rolling his brow over Chad's upper back. “ _jesus..._ give me a minute to catch my breath...”

Chad's fingernails can actually be heard trying to dig deeper into the micro-suede cushions under him. “You've got five, then we're going again.”

“ _all right-all right_...” Christian hides a secret smile against his Omega's bare skin. “...no need to be a pushy bottom...”

==&&==&&==

“C'mon...” Sophia knows Jared a little more now, he usually scarfs down several servings of food before he totally calls it quits. “...are you sure you don't wanna have the rest?”

“ _mmm..._ I would, but I haven't wanted to eat much today.” Jared entangles his fingers, laying his head on the bond on the portion of grass where the blanket covered.

“You feelin' sick?” Sophia presses her hand on different spots on Jared's face, then his neck. “You're not too warm—like a fever.” She sits forward a little more, dangling her bare feet in the cool water that reaches the bottom step into the koi pond.

“I feel...fine.” Jared twists his neck around as if to crack the bones, then lays his cheek against bunched biceps as he peers at Sophia's actions. “Jus' tired and not too hungry.”

Sophia pops another appetizer into her mouth. “Good. More of this delicious food for me.” She swallows and takes a sip of wine, tilting her head back to feel the sunlight on her face. “I can't thank you enough— _for all of this_.” Sophia flourishes her hand over the whole of the layout on their blanket. “You're the perfect best friend or...if we were mated...a perfect ' _boyfriend_ '.”

Jared soft chuckles, then turns to look up above him at the clear sky where a few clouds drift on by. “Do modern pack cultures even use those words?” He squints his eyes, but then closes lids to block out the sun.

Sophia starts talking with her glass hand. “Some do, to appear more human, less of a freak.”

“What do you think of Adrian and Milo?” Jared asks the question with his lids still closed.

“Adrian...” Sophia sets her wine glass down, popping some fruit pieces in her mouth to chomp down on. “hmm, well, at first, I had this grand idea we'd be like soulmates—husband and wife, and I got by with thinking of Milo as my cool gay BFF.”

Jared sniffles out a laugh, unbinding one hand to lay on his chest. “And now?” He cracks open one eye to peek at Sophia. He's struck a bit by her striking profile, even with her hair pulled taut and pinned so severely to her head.

“I've gotten so used to them and their ' _ways_ '.” Sophia dips her head, a small smile spreading over her mouth. “I almost don't realize how often I'm left alone.” She draws her feet out to bend her knees and wraps her arms around them, loosely. Even when Adrian's in bed, sleeping right next to me.”

Jared sits up, but braces an arm backward to lean on. He snags two purple grapes, then chews on them slowly. “Have you two stopped having sex altogether?”

“Boy, you ain't shy.” Sophia averts her head, a little bashful as she scratches at the tight up-do of her dark locks. “You get right down to nitty-gritty.” She sighs heavy, then bends an elbow to lean her head on as she looks directly at Jared. “uh...for 'bout a year now—so that was a few months before the pack was told they were carrying. Adrian and I were still intimate, but...it _hurt_ to have intercourse.”

“Physically, it hurt?” Jared uncorks the wine to pour out more for Sophia because he knows she's going to need this kind of liquid courage as the conversation goes further.

Sophia shakes her head an averts her gaze; she's thinking deeply about what to say next. “No. More mentally and emotionally. I was going through my own shit—my old pack coming back to haunt me, then I just—I think I shut down.” She reaches for her wine glass again, then sips slowly as she stares ahead to the other side of the koi pond. “Any time Adrian tried to hold me, console me, love me...I broke down in tears until I stopped crying. I turned him away a few times, which made him think he'd done something wrong and I, uh...pushed him back into Milo's arms, his bed.” Sophia laughs at herself, then bows her head. “When Adrian returned, we tried. It wasn't going too well for me. I was _not_ nice to him, needing him to get off me, stop touching me.” She makes motions in mid-air to show how she would “shoo” her Alpha away, shove him off her. “Slowly, like every couple of nights, Adrian would try to give me pleasure in other ways.” Sophia took a long swallow of wine. “It worked, 'cuz I was horny and I was exhausted from bein' so sad and angry all the time. He kept that up when we could've been having sex or knotting...until we simply got each other off with whatever felt nice at the time—fingers, mouths...each other's bodies...” She tapers off into a soft voice, twisting her wrist around to watch the play of wine inside her glass with the sunlight above them.

“And then Milo got pregnant...” Jared interjects with a concise assumption.

“ _yeah..._ ” Sophia has already taken off her wool jacket, just in her blouse and wool pants that reach her ankles. Even with the coolness of the breeze, the less clothes she wears, she still feels like she's overheating; she undoes two top buttons to expose her throat and collar. “And I was even more depressed and frustrated, but more with myself. I'd put my mind in this ' _fog_ ' and I couldn't get out of it.”

Jared has lowered himself to his side on the blanket, resting on his elbow and forearm. “Is this when you and Steve became closer?” He periodically flashes his eyes up to Sophia's face to catch her expressions.

“huh?” Sophia's been staring ahead again, and she turns her head to glance at the Omega.

Jared drops his gaze, popping in more grapes, but this time he pulls over a bundle of them to pick from. “I think you heard me, Soph.”

“Yes, I did, but I'm not sure exactly when he and I... _bonded_.” Sophia hasn't been able to figure out a perfect word to describe what her and Steve's relationship has become. “Both he and Chris have always thought I was a cool chick.” She gives off a little smile with a high, short laugh. “The kind of woman who went to Chris' gigs and fawned all over him.” Sophia furrows her brow with another smile, but this time it appears a bit more authentic with the memory that passes through her mind. “I think Steve feared competition, but...I'm loyal to my mates. He had no reason to be threatened by me.”

Jared gives one nod to his head as he raises his eyes to look at Sophia, wishing she wouldn't act as if she's already done something wrong. “He opened to you when you needed that human connection.” Somehow he already is aware that they haven't gone as far as they both might want to take things between them, so he working her out of the discussion gently.

Sophia shakes her head, then stops as if her head is going a mile a minute. “He understood what I was going through with Milo's 'pup'. Steve knows one day it'll be him when Chad carries.” She takes a final gulp of wine, then tosses the rest into the water as if she knows this won't harm the koi as she's done it dozens of times before.

“How intimate has it become between you two?” Jared doesn't move an inch, even though it looks as if Sophia's going to stretch out next to him, probably laying on her own stomach to maybe at some point be on her stomach.

“ _What_?” Sophia does relax onto her right side, elbow bent so her head rests on the bunched fist as she peers over at Jared. The moment is starting to feel intimate and close, though the park is crowded as it typically is around lunch time.

“ _...please_...” Jared shifts down to Sophia's level, bending his left arm to rest his head on his own fist. “I do everyone's laundry. I stopped counting the times I kept finding women's clothing in Steve's hamper.”

“oh, jesus...” Sophia covers her hand over her face. “It's so not what you think.”

Jared reaches out to lay a tender touch to Sophia's arm, to get her to lower the limb. “I know it isn't because you two _never_ would've wanted to think about threesomes with your Alphas and Omegas.” He wants her to know he understands the situation almost without her telling him a thing. He turns his simple touch into a soft caress that disappears quickly yet leaves a reminder that she's safe with him. “You envy their abilities to connect on a whole other level from a Beta standpoint.”

Sophia hasn't felt this willing to be open, and honest, since she was a 'cub'. It reminds her a lot of her youth, when she and her little brother were closer than usual siblings; she had to be a trio of roles to him—best friend, sister and often a mother. It nice to have someone she can talk this way with, relieving some of her stresses. “Steve's been a really great friend and he, uh...he actually listens to me and, for now...he gives me what I didn't know I needed.”

“What?”

“Attention. Like he _really_ cares.” Sophia shakes her head and laughs softly. “He is soooo not my type.” She smiles shyly which causes Jared to sniffle out a laugh. “I didn't—I've never known two like-statuses to have the kind of symbiotic relationship we do.” Sophia stares at Jared as if wanting him to tell her how it's possible that she may have found her true mate in another Beta. She stares at a spot over Jared across the park as she goes on to describe what had started it all. “We simply got to talkin' late one night...Adrian off in Milo's bed...Chris away for some gigs for a few days. I couldn't sleep, went downstairs and Steve was there...unable to sleep too, cooking and drinking a whole bottle of wine on his own.” Sophia drops her eyes but then lifts them to gaze at Jared. “I felt for him 'cuz I knew the head-space he was at, then...we took everything upstairs to his bedroom—kind of having an impromptu picnic, like this one, on his bed.” She finally flips a bit to lay on her front, elbows bent on the blanket. She starts snatching bits of fruit to munch on. “I've _never_ been so full and tipsy in my life. I'd also never laughed _that_ hard, _ever_...or felt...safe with a guy.”

Jared rolls to his stomach as well, but her folds his arms to use as a pillow and lay his head down. He's purposefully showing his lower status to Sophia so she fully aware he means her no harm; he's as weak as she is, maybe even more vulnerable because he's sharing in every emotions and feeling she's having. “Did anything happen?”

“ _oh, yeah_...” Sophia snorts with the sad shake of her at her own antics. “In my typical, fucked-up way, I took it too far. I read signals wrong, kissed him, started undressing, begging him to put his hands on me and then I...” She stops, only because she's becoming aware that she retelling a moment in her life that could very well become the same tale of woe she tells in the future about how she met her “one”.

“What?” Jared can tell that Sophia keeps drifting away inside her own mind.

Sophia grabs for the wine bottle in its wicker carrier, then begins to pick at the wicker pieces. She avoids eye contact at all costs. “I brought myself to orgasm in his presence—without him, or me, doing much of anything. I'd never been that way...or done something that risqué or dirty.” She pauses and waits a few seconds to start again as she turns the bottle in between her hands. “Not only was I embarrassed, I was ashamed. I thought I'd be right back to my own little corner, but...” Sophia blinks slow, looking over at Jared with a smirk on her lips. “...this is _Steve_ we're talking about. I think he knew what had happened. He wasn't angry or disgusted. We talked it out and tha's when the threesome thing came up.”

It's clear to Jared that there's one thing that remains the same. “He still lets you stay in his bed?”

“Yes. It's where I was last night.” Sophia extends a hand to clamp over Jared's biceps, having no idea where he had slept last night. “If you had worried 'bout me, I'm sorry. I just...it's gotten to become something I do instinctively when I know Adrian's with Milo.” She clears her throat as she goes about pouring herself a little sip or two of wine, even thinking about drinking straight from the bottle. “We just sleep together, nothing hinky or perverted. We seem to need one another to end a crappy day, then to alleviate whatever emptiness we feel when we're left alone.”

“How do you feel about Steve?” This is the clincher question that will help Jared immensely; he hopes Sophia can be truthful with him.

“eh, I'm pretty close to falling— _hard_ , like I never have before.” Sophia pauses as if she's amazed how easily the answer slips from her lips, without hesitation. “I love Adrian, but I'm not ' _in_ ' love. I think that's why I push he and Milo together, imagining I can horn in on what makes them inseparable.”

“And Steve? Has he—do you know how _he_ feels?” Jared lowers his tone as if he wants Sophia to know their conversation is extremely private, only being kept between them.

“He's torn.” Sophia gives an occasional glance or two to Jared as she reveals more information she's been collecting over the past few weeks. “Not sure he _loves_ me, but he _likes_ me...likes my company.” She shrugs one shoulder after the other, then decides she's going to rest her head down like Jared had done. “But I don't know, he's a little more willing to sacrifice his need to find pleasure with Chris, not truly minding the bond between Chris and Chad.” Sophia lowers her eyes in shame. “I don't know...maybe Steve feels like he has to suffer punishments for even _thinking_ about being with someone else.”

“Does that upset you?” Jared scoots closer, a whispery voice being used now to converse. “That he'd still have sex and let his Alpha knot him, despite how you _both_ might feel?”

“I may not like it, but I understand.” Sophia blinks slow a few times as she looks at Jared, taking what he's asked seriously. “Betas **_do_** _want_ to please their Alphas and we have a right to our mates when we have our carnal wants and needs.” She looks away, closing her eyes tight as she sighs. “I've simply found that **_I_** can't change that easily—switch my emotions on and off like Steve can. He's known Chris longer than I've known Adrian.” Sophia smiles with a roll of her eyes to how terrible she knows some of her characteristics can be, which has made her such a battle-ax of a female co-worker—not just because she's Beta. “I'm too set in my ways.”

“So, I take it the threesome idea is being set aside.” Jared isn't even going to mention how relieved he feels, still a bit saddened that the mated couples are willing to attempt some type of closeness in a ceremonial setting.

“ _yeah_.” Sophia feels bad, like she's led Jared astray. “It might even be completely scraped. I don't know. This is where I need the advice.”

Jared lets a wide smile creep out, from one side to the other. “You don't like waiting around, do you? You need to know _now_ and resolve the issue?”

“I certainly don't wanna put Steve in a bind to make a snap decision or to choose, but I have to know that what I'm doing will have a viable outcome.” Sophia keeps her arms folded, but lifts her head. “I'm not wasting my time if I pursue this with another Beta and it's what gets me kicked out or puts me in the, uh...' _doghouse_ '.”

Jared raises his head, too, then rest his cheek on a hand; his other hand reaches out to pick at invisible lint from the material they lay on. “I don't think you'll have any problems with Jensen. He seems like a fairly decent Alpha who'll sit down with you and listen.” He stretches his arm across the way to lay three fingers on Sophia's biceps; he's going back to simple touches again, making her feel like he's listening and he's willing to do whatever he can for her. “Now...Adrian and Christian...I'm not sure they'd react the same. Adrian may support you because, like Jensen, he only wants to see you happy.” He pauses to think, then shakes his head as he says, “Steve or Jensen would know better how Chris will react.”

“Has Jensen said... _something_ to you?” This is what's been worrying Sophia, that she's been foolish enough to forget how full the house is, even though they all have separate lives.

Jared is the only one who knows that Jensen's attention—his sole focus—has been in other places. “Like _what_?”

“Suspecting **_any_** _thing_?” She doesn't know why she assumes Jared would know, but he's been so damn intuitive thus far.

“No.” Jared shakes his head to assure Sophia her secret is protected. “Not what you just told me. Though, he _is_ concerned about you and he wants to know if he can help.” He's pretty certain this isn't breaking any kind of privacy with Jensen.

Sophia shakes her head to bury her face away in mild shame. “He does enough already. I always hate to burden him.” She peeks up at Jared from under an arm.

“Trust me.” Jared leans in to invade Sophia's breathing face, giving her an encouraging smile. “He _wants_ to know. He'll want you to be as honest as you feel you can be.”

“I know.” Sophia blinks slowly, dropping her gaze in shyness as she goes quiet. “He's been a huge supporter of open and honest conversation. I feel terrible that I haven't take that to heart often enough.”

Jared shifts his touches to soothe over Sophia's back, caressing over the silk of the blouse. “Well, he's always ready for you, when you want to talk. This doesn't feel too weird to counsel a pack member under the guise of being Omega to lead Alpha—if Jared wanted things to be _that_ way. “And it's not unusual for like-minds to form an unnatural bond in a pack. They're seen as anomalies, yes, but most pack embrace the uniqueness because it brings everyone together _cohesively_.” He sits upright, dragging his legs under him to bend them as he fully straightens his back. “Plus, I'm a firm believer in never denying a pack member, or members, the right to explore or experiment outside of a comfort zone.”

Sophia squints up at Jared. “Even when it doesn't involve their own mates?”

“In true pack life, you're all one complete family...” Jared bends one knee to wrap an arm about the shape to tuck to his body. He tilts his head to stare down into Sophia's wide-open face. “Alphas bond with Alphas, Betas with Betas and so forth. Don't see it any different, if say...Adrian bonded with Chad...or Steve bonded with Milo. You all have to be there for each other.”

“Like we were a few weeks ago.” Sophia means when the shit hit the fan about Milo and the 'pup'.

“Packs suffer profound losses and grief in tragedies—mostly in death of other pack members. The more packs modernize, the more the human traumas affect them.”

Sophia nods her head in agreement, giving off a small grin. “yeah, I really believe that having a pack is fundamental to how _I_ cope with my life in the outside world.” She starts to pull her body upright so she can gather all their things and pack the basket away.

Jared doesn't want to forget the most important thing he's wanted to say to Sophia. “...thank you, by the way.”

“oh? For _what_?” Sophia is on her knees, stuffing items back inside the open lid. They have to carry the win bottle out separately in its wicker carrier.

Jared intently watches Sophia as he speaks, “You found out a truth to my own pack issue I never would've known until too late.”

“ _eh..._ I think my instincts kicked in.” Sophia waves away the comment as if it was in her nature to do. She sits on her bare heels, hands planted on her flattened thighs as she bends toward the curious Omega. “ _I like you_ —I like you even more now an' I wanted to see if there was anything I, with my expertise, could do for you.” Sophia is moving around the blanket to pick up the other things—like her jacket and her heels, but finds them taken from her hands by Jared. She gladly let him treat her like a Queen for the rest of the time they're here; he's done perfectly since she saw him at the hospital entrance. “Never thought I'd open that big-ass can of worms.” In a very tiny way, she's trying to apologize.

“Well, you helped me out more than you know.” Jared gets to his own knees, willing to help Sophia balance herself while she puts her heels back on, then dons her jacket.

“Oh?” Sophia quirks up one side of her mouth. “Dare I say, our young and handsome lead Alpha has a plan up his sleeve?”

Jared dips his head, chin to chest, then leaks out a smirk. “He's working on something. I'd say more but I don't wanna jinx myself.”

“ _heyhey_ , I get it.” Sophia is working the material of her jacket back over her blouse. “As long as Jensen willing to help and, uh...you two get to spend some quality time together.” She gives Jared a wink and a light fist-bump to his arm. “You know, I love me my Mi'o something fierce, but...you are fairly god-damn amazing, wonderful yourself.”

Jared feels a bit shy by the compliment. “If it works out for the best, I'd be honored to be a small part of this branch of the Ackles pack.”

“Small? Hmm...not very likely. But, I feel much the same and...I want you to have all that you've dreamed once your pack status becomes _official_.”

Jared looks off to the side, then down as he eventually stares into Sophia's face with the broadest smile. “Thanks, Sophia, that means a lot.”

“Anytime, Jared...anytime.”

==&&==&&==

Sophia had dropped Jared back at the house, called in to her office to cancel the rest of her afternoon. She was using the “pack emergency” as an excuse, but that was only code to her assistant to cover Sophia's ass should her bosses come looking for her. Sophia was seizing the day—well, actually, the moment and she'd take the sage advice Jared had given her...and go ' _get her man_ '. She would basically confess her truth to Steve and let him know where she stood, then fucking hope for the best.

It had been quite a few years since Sophia had felt this kind of nervous angst. Not since she was a Beta “cub” had she'd been so unlike her typical self—so calm, cool and reserved. Telling her secret to someone she could trust not only opened her mind, but it had taken some of the pressure off to know she was all right, that it was okay she had deep feelings for another Beta. She was glad it was Steve—another calm and cool-headed Beta whom she called her best friend. Never like a brother, which had been odd. Mainly because she had some idea that's how she would finally know she'd given her heart away—if she could fill the empty void her own brother had left.

Adrian, Milo, Jensen, Chad and Christian all felt like different pieces of her brother making her always feel safe and protected. Even with Jared there was a deep brotherly vibe because almost everything about the Omega reminded her of her sibling.

But with Steve, she'd found a true soulmate...someone she could genuinely call a friend. She never once had a “brother vibe” from him and, thankfully, Steve had never claimed he thought of her “like a little sister”. Her moment of embarrassment would've been one of deep shame and guilt. She still had guilt, but it was manageable. She could comfortably allow herself to suffer as punishment. But now she could see that Steve was suffering and she wanted to be more to comfort him; she wasn't sure if she'd be rejected outright. Certain times she's caught him staring, watching her, almost drinking her in and then he'd hide behind being a good friend to make sure she was fine. Sophia had an inkling Steve had mixed feelings for her, having some fears and not wanting to ruin the status they both had in the pack.

She parks out front, near Steve's Jeep and walks in wearing only her thin wool coat. Back at the house, she had raced upstairs to change out of her business attire, then had donned a slimming pair of jeans, a soft, flattering sweater with an overlaying puffy vest coat. She debated on wearing her shit-kicking cowboy boots or just to go with a casual shoe with a thick sole. In the end, practicality won out rather than being so cute and irresistible that no man would deny her. She had kept her hair up, but had done away with the sever bun to, instead, pull her locks back in a simple huge hair clamp.

Sophia doesn't know why but she always gets this cheap thrill with a spark of pride once she approaches the music store and walks through the front door. The bells jangle overhead and she looks around the crammed yet homey space. She loves the smells, even though there is a crisp musty basement odor. The scents that followed are definitively telling her Steve is here, probably in the back somewhere.

The only other employee, Troy “Groove” Stroud, was helping someone at the wall of electric guitars.

Sophia lifts her chin toward the sweet, familiar face. “ ** _Hey, Groove!_** ”

“ ** _What up, Sophie?!_** ” Groove raises his chin in kind, but adds the lift of a few fingers toward her in greeting.

“Not much. _He_ in the office?” Sophia doesn't ever have to say Steve's name to specifying who she means.

“nah...” This time Groove gestures with the shift of his head as hands go to surround his thin hips and waistline. He looks a bit perturbed by the customer he's helping. “He's in the piano section, in the back. Fine-tuning the new upright we got in.”

“Thanks.”

Over his shoulder, Groove attempts what he always does whenever Sophia enters his establishment. “When you gonna let me take you out to dinner, pretty lady?”

“Oh, Groove...” Sophia turns to walk backwards for a bit as she draws both hands from her mouth, like she's sending him an “air kiss”, then refusing his advances. “...you're too much ' _man_ ' for me. I'd only bring you down.”

“yeah, okay.” And just like usual, Groove is bored with her and back to staring at the high wall of guitars. “Maybe _next_ time.” He knows he's never going to get a shot, but it's not hurting anyone to try.

Sophia tucks her hands in her pockets, almost skipping hurriedly to hide behind the wall so she could shock Steve by pouncing on him. But when she peeked around the corner she had to pause and gulp. Always a turn-on to watch a true artist with their talent oozing out, but it drives her crazy-nuts to sit and watch Steve do the most mundane thing...like tuning an old upright piano with an acoustic guitar and his own vocal chords. He has stretched out one leg across the padded bench, the curve of the guitar resting on a flattened thigh, one hand's fingers pressing on the neck-strings while the other strums and jumps to hit piano keys; on top of the piano's lid sits a scary-looking tool used to tighten the piano wires.

Sophia simply rests her hip on the edge of the high wall; half of the music room is soundproof. At a moment when there's silence, she speaks up, “I've been trying to call you on your cell.”

Steve looks up, smiles weakly as he sighs, then completely stops what he's doing to gaze directly at Sophia. “Sorry. I got this baby in about three hours ago.” He looks to the “baby” in question, briefly, then back to Sophia as he slowly caresses the woodgrain. “Haven't stopped once.”

Sophia watches Steve's hand caress the dark black cherry wood like a lover. She crosses her arms, bowing her head. “You haven't eaten, have you?”

“I was gonna run next door once I was done here.”

Sophia gingerly wanders over, sitting down as Steve drops his leg. She twists around to face him. “I can go get you your usual, then you can keep on working. What do you get?”

“You know me too well, Soph.” Steve reaches up with his strumming hand to touch a flushed cheek. “I'll eat whatever you get me.”

Before Sophia can cover her hand over Steve's, and push her face into his palm, he's going for his wallet to give her money. “ _nonono...my_ treat.” She holds off a hand to ward off the passing of a few bills.

“C'mon, no...” Steve playfully swats at Sophia to shove the money into the tight squeeze of her hand; he doesn't care what she does with it, use it now or later.

“Yes, let me.” Sophia pockets the cash inside the vest, but she won't be spending it. “I'm playing ' _hooky_ ' from work.” She raises her chin with some pride, trying to hide her silly grin. “Indulge me.”

“You?” Steve is smirking like crazy because he's got to hear why Miss Sophia doesn't want to work today; he knows how much she _lives_ to do her job. “Playing ' _hooky_ '?”

“yeah...” Sophia draws up her left leg, turns to Steve directly. She keeps her head bowed as she traces her hands up his denim-covered thighs, then—-despite the guitar between them—-she swallows some courage, closes her eyes, brushes her nose along Steve's face then gently nibbles at his lips.

They eventually part for her, allowing her to deepen the connection. One hand rises to cup the back of Steve's nape, turning her head at an angle. She tugs on the dirty blond lengthy curls he's pulled back and she rests her face against his cheek to catch her breath. “I'll be back...we'll talk...” She never once lifts her head, simply gets to her feet, then swivels around and walks away without another word or a look back.

==&&==&&==  
 **TBC...**


	20. Chapter 20

Jared leans into the washing machine, shaking out the crumpled, yet clean wet clothes; he tosses them into the open door of the dryer. He hears the door open behind him, then feels the warmth approach his side.

“How did I know I'd find you here.” Milo grumbles out as he paces past Jared to sidle up to the opposite side of the huge machine.

Jared smiles from one corner of his lips as he continues his swift moves. “If I stopped the momentum I've built all this month, everyone would go apeshit.” He brushes his hand, loosely, through the air. “...'sides, this kind of stuff is meditative for me.”

“god, you always were the weird one,” Milo snorts out a laugh as he shakes his head, leaning across the top of the dryer. “...but I embrace this part of you 'cuz both Chad and I totally lack it.” He bends his elbows to rest his chin on his hands; he's bored and he wants to feel useful, so now he's bothering Jared since he's come home. “I really should step up my domestic game for when the 'pup' gets here.”

Jared gives a quick look to his brother Omega, doubtful there's any sincerity behind it. “I don't want you helping unless you're genuinely serious.”

“I _can_ be.” Milo stretches, scratching over his protruding belly as he smooshes against the side to feel the dryer warmth against his body. He shoves off to move about the laundry room; he knows it looks different since Jared arrived—more organized and cleaner, with less piles of dirty laundry.

“ _jesus..._ ” Jared throws in dryer sheets, slamming the door and setting the dial to begin the next load. He bends down to pick up the next basket and as he stands he feels his vision go double; he sways on his feet. Luckily, he catches himself before Milo notices, continuing to toss in dirty colors into the open lid of the washer. “Not until a few weeks after the birth. Depending on what happens, you'll be too drained and you should focus more on the 'pup'.” As he leans against the shape of the washer, Jared pours in all the liquids, then switches on the dial popping the machine “on”. He places the empty basket on the floor, in front of the dryer's closed door, then picks up a basket of towels he needs to fold. “If you feel like helping, help me fold _these_.”

“Where you going?” Milo crosses his arms, looking at the towels, then Jared's face.

“Dining hall. Use the table's flat surface.” Jared holds the door for Milo, but when Jared follows to take the two steps up, basket under his arm, he feels a sharp pang to his gut that causes him to go unfocused, needing to lean on the doorjamb. He walks up the two steps, then tests his balance and tries to make sure the pain isn't returning—there's only a small wave of nausea he has to swallow down. “Want anything? I'm getting something fizzy to drink.” He trails behind Milo into the dining hall, catching the slight nod of the dark head, but keeps on walking into the kitchen. He had set down the basket in a chair.

Milo furrows his brow slightly as he groans in taking a seat in Jensen's vacant captain's chair. “You feeling sick?” He does a mild lean to look through the archway into the kitchen.

“I dunno.” Jared slams the door with his backside as he walks out with a soda for each of them. He hands a can to Milo, making sure to have stopped and gotten a small glass. “Been unusually warm since this morning.” Jared opens his own can, drinking right from the open lip. “Haven't got a fever, but I don't have much of an appetite.”

Milo thinks nothing of it because he's had to deal with his own nauseous days, and Jared doesn't seem to be spooked into reacting strangely. “How did lunch with Soph go?” After he pours himself a little soda, he folds his hands to wait for Jared to pass him over some “work”. Milo lets out a tiny smirk, knowing how Sophia didn't like her perfect daily routines to be messed with, unless she knew about the changes beforehand. “Did she freak out 'bout the change in plans?”

“No. Not really.” Jared doesn't go into more detail; he's taken out whatever was in the basket and placed everything on the table.

Milo watches as Jared simply leaves the array of towels on the surface of the table, expecting him to choose if he wants to help or not. “Did she say anything to you?”

“ _About_?”

“I don't know...” Milo shrugs one shoulder. “...me...the 'pup'...Adrian...me and Adrian.” He narrows his eyes when Jared quietly takes a sip out of the can again, sitting down to commence with the folding. “ah, how silly of me.” When Jared still hasn't said a word to him, Milo nods his head, waving his hand in the air. “I should've known your spiritual guide code comes before being an Omega.”

“ _Why_?” Jared pauses in his folding to glance over at Milo with a slight wrinkle to his brow. “Do you think she has issues with you or Adrian? Or the two of you as a couple?” He won't be revealing any of his conversation with Sophia to Milo; he will only talk about things that pertain to Milo and Adrian, directly.

“It can't be easy—now. Not with Adrian on constant ' _bump watch_ ' with me.” Milo rubs over his protruding belly as he does another stretch then tries to roll shoulders and crack his neck, arching his back. “He tells me what he _thinks_ I ought to know 'bout he and Sophia, but I know there's more.” He sits upright, more forward on the cushion, reaching for some material to fold, which turns out to be some of the kitchen dishtowels. “So... _is there_?”

==&&==&&==

When Sophia returns, Steve is watching the front. He wasn't at the sales counter but seated in the tiny alcove situated behind the counter that's serves as a downstairs second office. She walks the plastic bag over, delving inside to pull out the clear plastic containers, handing over forks, condiment packets and napkins. She takes the single step up to move down the elongated counter to head toward the mini-fridge and grab both of them something to drink.

Steve is cradling the old landline phone extension between ear and shoulder. “ ** _uh-huh...so when do you need them by?...what?...oh, nonono—I've got, like, four other versions of the same line...yeah, yeah...well, tha's why they don't go as fast as guitarists think...huh?...no, it's not that they're cheapskates. It's not worth the aggravation of buying, if they don't sound like they're used to...uhm, not necessarily a design flaw, just a bad guess at what to improve on...huh? Yup-yeah. By at least Tuesday of next week...uh-huh. Cool. Sure-sure...anytime, man. Tha's why we're still here...hehehe, yeah...talk again soon. Bye._** ” Steve hangs up as he sighs heavy. He leans back in the old wooden chair on wheels, crossing an ankle over a knee as he rolls a pencil between both hands. “...another guitar crisis averted.”

Sophia smirks, resting her hip against the counter. “And you seriously considered closing this place last year... _idiot_.” She mutters as she shakes her head. She managed to snag herself some food as well, but only something very light as her lunch with Jared had filled her up plenty. “You're the _only_ game in town of real musicians owning a decent and legit music store.”

“It helps that KANE has wide-spread notoriety and Chad...” Steve leans forward, chair creaking with his every move. “...well, the recording studio is what's truly been the godsend.” He throws the pencil down as he digs out an ink pen so he can officially document the information he has on an order form. Once he's filled out every line he possibly can, without the customer being there, he tucks the sheet in with all the other old papers and closes the manila file to put it away in the order bin for the next day.

Sophia takes a small bite of her sandwich as she pulls out the bits of shredded lettuce that won't stay under the bread. “You're all so evenly matched, working together like a well-oiled machine.” She's often been slightly envious of how perfectly Christian, Steve and Chad seem to “fit”.

“ _mmm..._ ” Steve seems to grumble loud as he tosses the pen, then drags over the food cartons. “ _...thanks, Soph..._ ”

Sophia holds her hand over her chin as she talks with her mouth full, then juts her head toward Steve and his reach for the food. “Eat up before you hit ' _bitch-mode_ '.”

Steve laughs as he clears his desktop in order to set the cartons in a row, in front of him, then opens each lid. “Am I _that_ easily read?”

“No. Like you said, I _know_ you.” Sophia feels a bit weird as she eats standing up. She picks up her own carton, then walks a step down to put what's in her hands on a stack of important files and guitar chord books, wiping her hands on a paper napkin. “Chad ain't here...” She motions with her thumb to the back of the store where the door is to head upstairs to the main office. “...an' you must've sent Groove home...now you're here all by your lonesome.” It's in Sophia's voice to make it plain that she knows they're alone now too.

Steve never lifts his head, but he keeps talking, “It's been a slow sales day. Most of it happening over the phones.” He points to the extension on his desk.

Sophia tucks her thumbs in the front pockets of her jeans, walking a bit beyond the counter barrier to the sales floor. “When's Chris coming back?” She wipes over her mouth to palm the napkin.

“Today.” Steve had recovered his own sandwich and now swipes the entire stack to think about where, and how, to take a first bite. “I picked him up early this afternoon.”

“Seriously? And you're still—” Sophia takes the single step forward, looking down the long sales counter, then twists to sit down on the flooring. “Damn...it's why Chad's not here, isn't it?” She looking over at him as he's half turned away from her sight. Her lashes are lowered and she keeps glancing his way as she maintains her composure.

Steve ignores her question. “You did great.” He swivels a little to hold up the sandwich. “ _This_ is delicious and hitting the spot.” He drops the food in order to reach out and open the can of soda.

“You're brooding.” Sophia lifts her chin, now staring at Steve's back, then his slight profile.

“I'm not—I don't ' _brood_ '.” Steve swipes his hands over his jeans on his thighs. “I'm old school classic heavy cockrock, not melodramatic emo electrofied pussy-rock.”

Sophia snickers out a laugh. “oh, sorry... _my_ bad.” She covers a hand over her chest as she side-glances Steve under her curled lashes. “Still doesn't change the fact that your Alpha and Omega are together, while you sit here all by yourself.” Sophia can read her brother Beta fairly well; he's not a happy camper, in the least.

“I'm _not_.” Steve smiles as he mumbles and wipes over his mouth. “You're here.”

Sophia slaps her hands on her knees as she stands to her small height, wandering back over to pick up the eaten half of her sandwich. “Which is exactly your problem, sweetie. I shouldn't be.” She shoves him lightly on the shoulder, watching him jiggle his body with the barely-there force of her meager strength. “I just add a shitload of colored sprinkles to your already crap sundae.”

They both deeply chuckle at her synopsis of what she brings to their relationship.

“I _like_ colored sprinkles.” Steve takes another bite as he refuses to look over at Sophia who stands a few inches away from him to his right. He can feel her warmth and scent her quite profoundly, but what he loves most about her is how safe and real she feels to him, that she won't prejudge him or make him do something he doesn't want to do.

“ _christ..._ ” In defeat, Sophia throws down the last bite of her sandwich, then turns to rest her bottom on the desk ledge as she folds her arms over her middle. “...wha's wrong with us?”

“We're the glue...” Steve notices how easily Sophia creeps closer to him—she's not trying to be seductive, it's simply how they've come to be with one another. But now, for some odd reason, what's “typical” between them seems to carry a heavy burden of truth. “...an' the ass-kickers.”

“Bullshit. ' _Glue_ ', my ass.” Sophia barks out into the air of an empty store. She looks down at Steve's bowed head. “An' I doubt we kick anyone's ass.” She pretends like one of their mates is in front of her as she “shoves” their imaginary frames together. “We more, like, shove them really- _really_ hard until they bump into one another an' fuckin' buy a fuckin' clue.”

Steve releases a hearty chuckle, never more grateful than this very minute to have Sophia to turn to. He shakes his head as he swallows another bite of food. “I can't help washing off the fact that I feel like a pimp for my Alpha, except this time it's our mated Omega.” It sounds weird to Steve's ears even as he states the fact out loud.

“Well, you were concerned Chris and Chad wouldn't reconnect...” Sophia is trying to lessen the blow to Steve's pride. She hates how it seems like he crawls around in muck for his Alpha, so Christian never has to dirty his own hands.

Steve knows what he has to say will probably shock Sophia, but he'll say it anyway. “I'm fairly certain they knotted in my office.”

“ _oh?_ _awww..._ ” Sophia is momentarily bewildered than she's kind of sentimentally touched. Good for Chad, bad for Christian....and even worse for Steve. A lot of lonely nights to look forward to, but then it hits her that she could score herself a rather temp-permanent slot in Steve's huge bed.

“ _...on my couch..._ ” Steve adds with a soft laugh at the tail end.

“ _really? ewww..._ ” Sophia shakes her shoulders like chills went down her spine. “An' you _allowed_ Chad to leave with Chris?” She had been listening to Steve's idea in how to bring the young Omega into the music store business a few days a week. She had hopes that it would benefit Steve, but not unless Chad was actually here to “work”.

Steve shrugs his shoulders like he doesn't care and he's used to this type of outcome. “Who am I to stand in the way of their right to mate, even if it is—kind of—flaunting it in my face.” He sits back in the chair, rocking and swinging as he plants his feet down to steady himself. “This isn't only important for them, but for the pack. Future generations of Ackles Pack.”

“It's okay to admit it hurts...” Sophia turns to face Steve, leaning heavy on her right arm as she bends toward hims. “...that you feel a slight twinge of jealousy.”

“I do, and I don't.” Steve reaches for the soda can, taking a long sip with a tilt backward of his head. “It's simply because I've had those ' _honeymoon_ ' years with Chris.” He does a fine three-point shot into the garbage bin, then reaches down to open one of the bottom drawers to his desk. He pulls out two short glasses, then the half-empty bottle of alcohol he's stored away for moments like this. “Chad's barely touched the surface.”

“I see it as _one_ of two ways...” Sophia hitches her right hip onto the desk surface, swinging her foot to softly kick at Steve's knee and thigh.

“uh-huh...” Steve pours and divides the alcohol between them, handing Sophia her own glass as he clinks against the side in a quiet ceremony.

Sophia lifts her glass to do a better silent “cheer” with Steve, then talks with her glass hand. “Either we're both in the wrong pack, and we want that same kind of bond with our Alphas the Omegas seem to have.” She takes a huge gulp to down the entire drink, licking her lips as she can hear Steve's laughter at her unadulterated ability to hold heavy liquor like a man. She bats her glass back over to Steve as if to ask for more of a “sip”. “We go out an' find a pack, or packs, where Alphas feel drawn to _both_ mates.”

“or?” Steve has barely downed his own glass, so he puts the bottle on the other side for Sophia to pour how much she thinks she'll need. He knows she'll reimburse him—probably with a better brand of whiskey.

“or...” Sophia tips the bottle to give herself a heaping sample of alcohol, then refills Steve for the sips he's taken. “...we be satisfied where we are, in a pack where Alphas mate with Betas and Omegas but feel more drawn to their Omegas...” Sophia drops her leg, back to sitting on the edge of the desk, her hand still holding the glass as she stares straight ahead, not focusing on a thing. “...thus leaving their Betas to pursue other interests. That is, if the ' _other_ _interests_ ' want the pursuit.” She's talking into the air now, not really aware Steve is closely listening and wishing to speak out.

“Soph...I...”

“ **I love you.** ” There. She said it. The words were out in the open.

“I love you too...” Steve is a bit embarrassed, hand covering the side of his face. “...you know that.”

“yeah, I do, but listen to me closely...” Sophia lets her glass go to place that hand on Steve's shoulder joint, sliding toward the niche of neck and shoulder to lean closer to an ear. “...' _I_ **_love_** _you_ ', as in ' _I'm_ **_in_** _love with you_ '.” She uses her grasp of Steve to push herself upright, then swipes her fingers in the air. “Not that _other_ thing.”

“ _jesus, Sophia..._ ” Steve bows his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“ _hey_ , I didn't say it to push buttons and get you to parrot it back to me like some fuckin' obligation. I think a lot has happened to us, _between us_...” Sophia rolls her hands around and around in front of her. “...an' it's gonna keep on keeping on until one of us _chooses_ to find the courage to actually come right out and _say_ what we feel.” She wanders off again, this time a little lightheaded, tucking her hands away in the vest coat's pockets. “I know you've been—I don't know, maybe your curious, wondering where my head's at to know which way you can go...where to take _this_. Before anything happens we start to regret, I wanted you to know... _you know_?” Sophia takes a walk to head to another, separate, sales counter area. She looks over the top, down into the clear glass cases, until she reaches her favorite section. She folds her arms and smiles into the shelves of rings, bracelets and necklaces—everything a classic hard rock-n-roll chick would kill to own and wear. Sophia doesn't expect Steve to be hot-on-her-trail, but he's right there with the key to the cabinets. He sidles to her back left, a hand is placed in a steady position on her right hip.

“See anything you wanna look at closer?”

Any other time, before the admission of her true feelings, Sophia would've joked around, leaned back into the burly chest behind her and, maybe, covered a hand over her body in mock-flirtation. Now she feels overheated and nervous, scared of fucking up more, chasing away the one good thing she has left in her life. Sophia's taking too long to answer, and she can't seem to get her vocal chords, or her legs, to move.

Steve senses her discomfort, so he uses the hand on her hip to gently bring her closer to his body where he can bury his face in the sweet-smelling hair. He reaches up to un-pin the dark length from the up-do, spreading the inky-black and smoky-brown strands over her shoulders and back. He trails a hand over to climb up her spine and tangle his fingers in her hair; he eventually clamps the back of her nape, cupping the shape in his palm.

“You can't say something like that an' not expect me to respond.”

==&&==&&==

Jared continues to pull over towels and folds, periodically taking a sip of his drink, hoping his symptoms are only another sign of being apart from his Alpha or...he truly _has_ become sick.

“Fine. I get it.” Milo huffs out a sigh as he realizes Jared won't utter a single word about what they may have talked about. “I suppose you wouldn't be the you I love an' adore. Not if you suddenly became a raging, catty blabbermouth of gossip, even if it has to be juicy or forbidden.”

“Milo...” Jared shakes his head as he smirks.

“Whatever.” Milo grabs washcloths and handtowels, folding them into matching styles. “I want you to know something.”

“What?” Jared glances at his brother Omega with a lift to an eyebrow.

“It works...” Milo rolls his hand over and over. “uh, that ' _connection_ '-thing you read about. You know, when the Alpha knots the carrying Omega.”

“Seriously?” Jared can't help but grin wide with a light glint to his eyes.

“Yes, seriously.” Milo sniffles out a laugh, then frowns with confusion. “Why would I wanna lie 'bout giving my Alpha an' experience he never expected?”

“Well, you've never used you abilities on Adrian before.” Jared starts to fold again as he glances at Milo. “Not even with knotting before the 'pup'.”

Milo sits back in the chair as he relaxes from the effort he put forth to help Jared. “I think I may have, unbeknownst to myself, the day we got pregnant...but it wasn't on purpose.”

Jared is a little stunned by Milo's admission. “You accidentally let him in deeper?” He's never known his brother Omega to admit when he may have lost or given-up control.

“I was... _gawd_...” Milo laughs at himself in memory then swipes over one half of his face in exhaustion. “I was unbe-freakin'-lieveably horny for him.” He balls his fist and holds it to the side curve of his belly. “Like a pain I'd never felt, no paltry dull aches when we were first mated.” Milo inches forward to lean over the table surface, pushing the stacks of laundry out of his way. “I could scent him... _feel him_...literally taste him in my mouth— _which was very weird_.” He works his mouth as if it's dry again, so he takes a sip of his drink. “I showed to his office—this was when he had just been promoted. I brought lunch with me, smelled power-hungry human males all over him and I was on Adrian like a cheap floozy.”

Jared quickly snorts out a snicker, but he shakes his head in disagreement. “You weren't in control, for once.” He knows exactly what happened to Milo in Adrian's presence. “You let a _negative_ emotion overrule you an' it allowed Adrian to catch you when you were at your most raw...most vulnerable.” Jared grin to himself at the mere idea of knowing that Milo isn't as strong as he likes to boast.

Milo goes on to talk like he hasn't heard a word Jared's said to him, “I'm always jealous of everyone he's around in that damn office.” He looks over at Jared with a tilt to his head, curious to his past actions. “But I'd never taken it to an extreme until _that_ day...using myself and my skanky moist hole to keep my Alpha attracted to me—only me.” Milo spits out that last portion as if he's ashamed of what he had become in front of his mate.

Jared softly chuckles with the shake of his head. “Your Alpha doesn't see it as ' _skanky_ '...” He clears his throat, starting to pile towels that are alike with each other. “It's okay to feel _that_ intensity 'bout your own Alpha, Milo. He probably appreciated the interest, though heavy and ripe with passionate jealousy.” Jared pushes back to stand and goes off to carry the decorative towels to the downstairs half-bath.

Milo rises to carry the stack of dishtowels into the kitchen. He's too lazy to actually put them away so he sets them on the counter for Steve or Sophia to handle when they come home. He retreats to go in search of Jared, then leans on the bare wall opposite the open doorway as he sees Jared in the small bath. Not only are the clean towels being put away on metal racks, but Jared reorganizes the tiny cabinetry unit, above the toilet, that holds the rest of the supply.

“Problem is...” Milo coughs into his hand, then crosses arms behind his body, resting his bottom on his hands along the wall. “...Adrian won't mind that feeling again.”

“ _What_?” Jared squats on the floor to open the cabinet doors to recheck if there needs to be a refill on toilet paper. “The knotting while carrying?”

“No...well, yeah, but the day we conceived...I think he and I both know it had been different from all those other times.” Milo notices Jared shaking his head. “Tell me what you're thinking.”

“I don't know...” Jared shrugs both shoulders at the same time, then eases back up to stand; he's using the small sink to balance himself in front of Milo. “...it's tough to watch a brother Omega with my same abilities be so damn clueless.”

“ ** _Clueless?! Why would you even...?!_** ” Before Milo can finish, he tilts his head in curiosity. “Someone's home.” He's always been able to hear when a car pulls into the driveway or the garage, especially if the whole house is quiet. Milo heads down to turn the corner, keeping a close eye on the front door.

“Who is it?” Jared asks in slight curiosity. He's turned on the faucet to dip his hand in cold water to use to splash on his face, then he pats his face, and neck, dry.

“Don't know.” Milo calls out in a loud whisper as he keeps twisting his head back and forth. “They haven't...” He immediately shifts to hide around the corner of the wall where he can't be seen.

The paneling opens to a duo of bodies unable to keep their hands off each other. Once the wool cap is off one's head, Milo knows it's Chad and the slightly shorter man tugging on hands and body, seemingly roughly kissing...has to be Christian. They throw off their coats and anything else. There are attempts made to hook everything—possibly—on the wall rack as they scramble up the staircase to the second floor.

Milo can hear laughter and near growling, several rounds of shoes thumping then the creak of the floorboards as they head toward Chad's bedroom. Like most of the pack, Milo had no idea Christian would return this exact day—maybe by the end of the week/or by the weekend. The 'temple' Jared's building for Chad's upcoming heat would never be ready. So...were they only having sex, to reconcile? Or were they—?

Milo shuts his eyes, hoping Chad's not jumping too far ahead that he would allow his first knotting to take place without—well, there's no point in speculation when he doesn't know much. Jared hadn't mentioned he had gotten Chad to promise to wait; it was always assumed that there was time with Chad's Alpha being gone. Especially in lieu of prior sessions Chad had with Jared. Milo knows what type of Alpha Christian is, but he also knows what's been done to accommodate Chad's peculiar distaste of knotting, and of being bred.

God, Milo wonders if Chad knows what he's doing.

Jared wanders out of the half bath, stepping closer to Milo. “If you need to talk to me, at any time today...” He places a hand on Milo's shoulder. “—jus' pull me aside an' we'll go somewhere private.”

“I'm not—” Milo is slightly offended that Jared would think he's attempting to talk to him about sexual problems. “—I don't have an issue with sex, Jared.”

“Okay.” Jared nods his head then spins around to go back into the dining hall.

Milo has always hated being dismissed that easily—like Jared isn't going to poke or prod at him like usual. He follows Jared into the huge room, watching him take a drink as he puts the washcloths and handtowels in the basket, making like he'll walk off with the object attached to his hip as he brings everything to the hall closet they keep the towel sets in for each bathroom. “ _waitwait_...what's your point? What do you think I have a hang-up with?”

“Giving your Alpha full control in the bedroom. I understand not wanting to be weak, but you know he wants to be with you _for_ **_you._** ” Jared shrugs one shoulder not sure he understands why Milo wouldn't want to be closer to Adrian as much as he adores and loves him. “So why be so frightened to show him who you know you truly are.”

“You mean ' _full disclosure_ '? Like...I just cut myself open and bleed all over him?”

“You asked, I answered.” Jared rolls his eyes at Milo's sad attempt at drama. “I can't make you see what you refuse to acknowledge.” He begins to walk away with Milo hot on his trail, trying not to get angry.

“oh, that's nice... _coming from you_...” Milo doesn't like saying the words out loud. Taking jabs at Jared's personal secrets out in the open was not going to solve his own issues.

Jared climbs a few steps to the landing, feeling a combination of queasiness and dizziness. “I'm _not_ gonna engage you, brother. It's pointless.”

“ _...m'sorry..._ ” Milo mutters out as he feels a rush of guilt.

“ _christ_ , no you're not.” Jared nearly snorts out a laugh. “I know you too well. It's been in your head and you've wanted to say it. End of discussion.”

Milo eyes Jared taking the stairs with one hand on the railing and an arm secure about the laundry basket. It's tough to stay in his anger when his opponent refuses to fight and only seems to become calmer, with a bit of disinterest. It ticks him off more to think his brother Omega would give in so easily, almost letting him feel like he won whatever they'd been about to argue over. Feeling slightly frustrated, Milo stomps off to enter the kitchen, maybe even catch a brief moment of fresh air and think about what Jared had said. As he steps outdoors, one foot on the porch flooring, he hears the hard slam—like a door shutting...or even a bed frame hitting a weak wall, echoing the house. Whatever it was, Milo ignores it; he doesn't want to deal with either Chad or Jared right now, sticking with his own misery.

He attempts to remain on the porch, but decides it too cool and breezy of an afternoon to simply waste away not exploring around the backyard. As he begins to distance himself from the house, he can hear the faint shrill of a phone ringing; it could be from any of the houses in the neighborhood as far as he's been strolling away to reach the old tree near the 'temple' structure being built. Somehow, being able to look at the beginning of construction for the Omega Circle temple puts Milo in a better, calmer frame of mind. Jared hadn't been trying to hurt him with his honesty; Milo knew better than that. It was different when Milo was being put under the microscope and found to have glaring faults he chose to hide behind.

Jared had hit upon a solid truth—Milo hated being lost and out of control. It stemmed from being surrounded all his life by Alphas he could never trust in his old pack, certainly his lead Alpha. There were levels of strength in each Omega, still fighting and battling to stay relevant and grounded in their own packs. To go from the seventeen years he had with his old pack, then into Adrian's world to eventually land in one of the most understanding and open packs he could ever imagine being a part of...he had it too good here. He had a top position because the pack gave him control, then he...he'd done exactly what he would imagine Alphas having done for centuries—letting power go to their heads.

He feels the vibrations in his pocket, his cell phone going off with an incoming call. Milo thinks it might be Adrian, but when he glances down at the viewscreen, he notices that it's the warehouse phone at Ackles Family Furniture. So it has to be Jensen.

“Jensen, what can I do for you?”

“ ** _Where are you?_** ”

“Home. Outside. Backyard.” Milo does a slow circle where he stands as he turns to face the house, brow wrinkling in slight confusion. “Why?”

“ ** _Is Jared with you?_** ”

“uh, no...he's, uhm...inside, putting away laundry upstairs.” Milo has a thousand things flying through his head. “Why? What's going on?” He's already fast-pace walking over the grass, up the steps and across the porch floorboards to enter the house by the kitchen back door.

“ ** _Well...I, uh...gave my old Blackberry to Jared last night and reactivated it. He's calling me, but...he won't talk. I can't hear much...jus' some muffled—” Jensen takes a short pause. “wait, wait...I hear buttons being pressed. I think he's trying to make a call out, but it's—tha's strange. Only the prefix—three numbers._** ”

Immediately, Milo's cranes his neck on alert. “Jen...does it sound like _this_...?” He presses three numbers in succession.

“ ** _...yeah-yeah...tha's it._** ” It's almost audible how hard Jensen swallows. “ ** _What did you dial?_** ”

“ **9-1-1**...”

For, maybe, a whole minute, both men go dead silent and still where they stand.

“ _ohmygod..._ ” Milo widens his eyes, but then shuts them tight; he's not prepared for what he may face later on. He covers his mouth in slight shock.

“ ** _Don't Don't panic._** ” Jensen tries to speak calmly, easing Milo's instant worry. “ ** _Who's there with you?_** ”

“uh...” Milo isn't sure he should tell Jensen about Chad and Christian because it's moot that they could actually be of any help. For now, he'll lie to cover Chad's ass. “It's only Jared an' I.”

“ ** _I'm on my way home.” Jensen makes some noises over the connection as he's putting away his things in order to close out his area so he can leave and head on home for the day. “I'm switching to my Bluetooth ear piece. When you manage to reach Jared, put the cell on speaker._** ”

“I'll take the stairs as best I can.” Milo offers out in a weak voice, his courage waning fast as he wanders down the halls and approaches the first two steps of the main staircase.

“ ** _Stay with me, Milo._** ” Jensen can only imagine what Milo must be going through, his mind a crazed picture of what might have happened to Jared. “ ** _An' don't rush up the steps. Walk normally. I don't need two Omegas in peril._** ”

“... _please-please_...don't say _that_.” Milo pleads quietly, shutting his eyes momentarily as he grabs onto the bottom post. “Jared's all right...he _has_ to be...”

“ ** _...keep talkin' to me, Mi'o..._** ”

“...'bout what?” Milo swallows the huge lump lodged in his throat.

“ ** _Anything. Just don't stop talking..._** ” Jensen keeps trying to listen closely to how the Omega sounds over the phone, what background sounds he can pick up. “... ** _then you can stop when you've reached Jared's side._** ”

“...m'prolly gonna babble a bunch of crap. Is that okay?”

“ ** _Do it._** ” Jensen gives out a tiny grin, picturing how Milo must look; he's never seen the Omega flustered or nervous. “ ** _Babbling's good._** ”

“...'kay...I'm at the bottom of the stairs...” Milo lifted up one foot to the first step. “uhm, here I go...”

“ ** _oh?! Call out to him on your way up...see if he responds._** ” Jensen can hear Milo calling out hesitantly, but getting no response, or at least Jared doesn't shout something back loud enough for him to overhear.

“hey, have I ever tol' you the real true story of how I met my Alpha?”

“ ** _...tha's great, Mi'o..._** ” Jensen attempts to assure and encourage Milo over the phone, the only way he can, for right now. “... ** _you're doin' really-really good..._** ”

==&&==&&==

Sophia remains right where she is, leaning forward against the counter. Steve sidles up to surround her, from behind, gently pushing her more forward into the structure; she can feel his apparent arousal at her backside. She drops one hand to reach out to hang onto his hip to press him closer.

Steve plants his hand on the counter surface, trapping Sophia with his body. He budges her hair aside so he can lean on her head and speak into an ear. “Soph...”

“I take it, this means you _do_ feel _something_?” Sophia tries to peer over her shoulder where Steve's head rests.

Steve softly chuckles, closing his eyes. “I've been dangerously close, for a while, of probably making the hugest, most selfish choice in my life. I'm a helluva lot braver when you're not around. Once you're here, I'm right back to spiraling out of control with want...and need.” He dips his head to kiss Sophia's shoulder. “Also doesn't help that I aide in the sexual exploits of my Alpha...thus reinforcing the very reason I'm forced to choose my own happiness or my pack's.”

“Is there a chance you feel the same as me?” Sophia leans her head into Steve's face. “Or am I just completely reading the signals wrong?”

Steve brings in his arms to place his hands at Sophia's sides, sliding down to shape her waist. “You're hoping I take this seriously, and I'm not simply looking for sexual release 'cuz I can't get it from my Alpha?”

Sophia draws in her own arms, securing them about her own body. “The only reason I'd tell you how I feel would be to make sure I'm not alone in this, because it's a pretty big deal if we want what's here between us to be real.” She shifts her hands to reach out and touch the tips of Steve's fingers, then slides over the tops of the hands to caress them. “We have the potential to hurt both our mates, our lead Alphas and the entire pack.”

“So, essentially...” Steve can't help but smile because he knows how sarcastic Sophia is being. “...no pressure?”

They share in a mutual soft laugh that slowly dissipates as they lean heavily on one another, closing their eyes tight.

Sophia slips her hands around and tucks them under Steve's to entangle their fingers. “For right now, let's just forget about everything else, except us.”

“Play hooky from our pack life?” Steve nuzzles close, his nose tip skimming over bare skin.

“yeah, we can do that.” Sophia sucks in a breath, barely letting out a soft giggle as the touch tickles. “I just—I feel the pressure too, when I think about what a decision like this will mean.” She's able to lean back into Steve's embrace and release a breath she's been holding. “We're defying pack life an' wolf logic here. We're almost acting—”

“— _human_?” Steve takes Sophia's hands in his grip, then spins her around to look her in the eye.

Sophia leans back on the counter ledge, tightening her hold on Steve's hands. “I'm not at a level of want that I typically am with my Alpha,” She's close enough to Steve to see the flecks of colors in his eyes, but her gaze drops to his mouth as she bites down on her bottom lip. “...but I'm sure that if we dared to try to be intimate—physically—any subsequent days after, if it were as real as our hearts and minds feel, then our bodies would follow.”

A dark blond eyebrow raises in curiosity. “Is the question that we have sex in order to find out?”

“If there's attraction, we as Betas...can we really have _normal_ sex?” Sophia has partaken of a typical sexual relationship before, with a male human, before mating, but it was never quite as satisfying.

Steve furrows his brow deeply. “You mean run the whole gamut of scent and heat—the want and need of our true mate?” He wants to know if they'd feel much the same as they had, once, for their Alphas, for one another.

“We want who we want.” Sophia softly pounds her bunched fists along Steve's arms, trailing them up the limbs until they gently hit the dips of his shoulders, then she clamps her hands around the joints to fit over the shoulder blades. “We can't be the _only_ pack members in the history of—oh, _ever_...to think outside the box.” She drapes her wrists and forearms on Steve's shoulders and takes one hand in the clasp of the other, locking her arms loosely around him.

Steve slides his hands up and down Sophia's sides, then over the expanse of her back. “oh, I'm pretty certain they're out there, but they either stay unhappy and keep their secret or...they choose to be happy and live in exile.”

“We've always been an open and honest pack.” Sophia bows her head, her eyes staring at Steve's throat and collarbone. She slowly lifts her lashes to blink at him as their gazes connect. “Is this even viable to discuss with the rest of them in addition to our mates?”

“ _What? christ_...” Steve has always liked the way Sophia feels in his arms; this time is no different. “...like getting on our knees and asking permission to have sex?”

“We're _not_ human, we're pack.”

“yeah, an' I'm also a grown fuckin' adult who's never _once_ pursued something on his own that he didn't seek another's approval of.”

“damn...” Sophia's smiling from one side of her mouth. “...tha's exactly how I feel.”

Steve lifts Sophia and plops her down on the glass counter. He looks at his wristwatch. “It's still early yet. Why don't I close the shop and we can—?”

Sophia grabs portions of Steve's shirt like their lapels and drags him closer, her mouth an inch from his as she talks right over them. “—get a hotel room and see where the moment takes us?” Her eyes dart around his face, her lips unable to stop the silly grinning.

Steve starts chuckling deeply. “uh, I was only gonna say ' _spend the rest of the day together_ ' to avoid going home as long as possible, but now that I think 'bout it...” He reaches out to slide a finger under her chin, then across her flushed cheek. “...I like your idea best.”

Sophia tilts her head to the side, desperately wanting that hand to go other places over her body—not necessarily over naked skin unless it's what _he_ wants too. “Just 'cuz it's a hotel room with a big-ass bed—a nice comfy big-ass bed, if we can find one—doesn't mean we _have_ to have sex.”

“So... _no expectations_?”

“And _no pressure_.” Sophia lifts her chin up with pride. She unlocks her fingers to simply let her hands cover the broad shoulders, fingers sliding up playfully along the neck. “We take a vacation from our lives and we indulge...pamper ourselves.”

“One more hour...” Steve glances down at his watch again. “...then we bail.”

“Deal.” Sophia gives a solid bounce to her head, then leans her forehead against Steve's, unable to take her eyes off his mouth after having tasted him earlier and feeling him kiss her back, finally.

They shake hands on it, but then they both pull the other near for a deeper, long-ass kiss to complete the seal.

 

==&&==&&==  
 **TBC...**


	21. Chapter 21

When Milo had finally reached Jared, the Omega had somehow crawled his way—in some kind of pain—down the hall from the closet and appeared to be on an intentional path into Jensen's bedroom. He had gotten halfway over the threshold before passing out, cell phone clutched in a hand.

Milo drops to one knee, despite the awkwardness. He takes the phone, putting his own to his ear. “Jen?”

“ ** _I'm here. Can you see him? How is he?_** ”

“I'm gonna hang up his cell and put you on speaker on mine.” Milo goes ahead and does it, not needing Jensen's approval. He places the phone down, on the carpeting, somewhere near Jared. “Jen, from what I can tell, he's fine—just passed out or...resting his eyes, asleep.” He begins from the top of Jared's head, where he can see a small cut and bump, then runs his eyes down Jared's front, soothing a hand at the back to the waist and hip. He's too excitable to be aware he completely misses the collecting moisture soaking Jared's jeans, and leaking up the back bottom hem of his shirts. “ _jesus_...I don't know, Jen...” What worries Milo now is how exactly he's supposed to wake Jared up. “He seems fine to me...I can't—”

Jared flinches awake and curls into himself, holding his stomach. “ _...oh-mygod..._ ” It's quite clear he's contracting in severe pain.

“...Jay...Jay...” Milo gently pats a flushed cheek, then grabs for Jared's strong chin to force him to lift off the floor. “...look at me...bro, talk to me...tell me wha's wrong—what _the hell_ happened?” He mutters that last bit so Jensen doesn't hear.

“ _...mi'o?..._ ” Jared mumbles out as he tries to twist and turn around while laying almost face-down on the carpet.

“Hey, man...” Milo's sending his hand to rub over the upper back. “...whatcha doin' on the floor, huh?”

Jared's glancing around for his cell phone. “...where's my— ** _Jen!_**...I tried callin' Jensen...where—?!” He notices his phone is gone, but Milo's lays close-by.

Milo wrinkles his brow in bewilderment as he hands Jared his cell phone. “You _did_ call him, but never said a word.” He puts out a hand, palm out, hoping Jared knows not to try to pick up the phone to put to his ear or he'll blow out the ear drum. “He was worried an' called me to check on you.”

“ _Jen?!?_ ” Jared calls out, squeezing his eyes shut as the energy it takes to yell wipes him out. He drops his head again, forehead on the fibers of the carpet.

“ ** _holy christ!_** ” Jensen releases the heaviest sigh over the two lines. “ ** _You fuckin' scared me. What the hell's going on?_** ”

“Don't know...” Jared makes a frowny face, his hand instinctively moving outward to take hold of the phone to bring it near. He doesn't think he can yell anymore. “...haven't felt good since this mornin'...thought it was me jus' getting' sick... _Jen_?”

“ ** _What is it?_** ”

Jared doesn't care who hears him, he has to say this now for Jensen to know. “I _need_ you... _pretty badly_...” He feels pathetic for knowing just _how_ badly he seems to sense that he needs his Alpha. It's not even a “wanting”, but a viable need to bring him relief from aches and pains.

“ ** _well, I'm on my way—fast as I can—promise. I'm on the Bluetooth link in the SUV, so keep talkin' to me 'til you see the green of my eyes._** ”

“ _Jen_?” Jared attempts to breath evenly through another wave of pain.

“ ** _yeah?_** ”

Feeling the hand over his back sink lower to keep soothing in circles, then over his hair, Jared drags over the cell to sit under his face as he presses his brow into the carpeting. “I think—I think this is my body...tryin' to play catch-up...” It's like he's letting it settle into his head that he can't keep his relationship with Jensen a secret from Milo anymore.

“ ** _What do you mean? Mi'o...what's he goin' on about?_** ”

“uh, I don't know...” Milo's still working on Jared's soft pleas that he “needed” Jensen, because it sounded like the desperation of an Omega who “needed” his Alpha. He bends low to Jared's head, peeking at the dark lashes on flushed skin. “...wha's wrong, man? I'm right here...lemme help you... _please_.”

Jared doesn't speak, he simply rolls onto his stomach to show his wet backside.

“ ** _Milo? C'mon, man...what's he saying...or doing?_** ”

Milo's eyes widen at the sight before him. “Gimme a minute, Jen.” He's not sure if Jared wants his personal hygiene openly discussed over phone lines. “I have to put you on hold...Jared wants to attempt to stand.”

“ ** _wait!_** ” Jensen barks out over the connection.

“... _what_?” Milo bites the inside of his cheek as he almost yelled right into Jared's ear as he keeps turning his head around.

“ ** _Where are you?_** ”

“We're right at your door, to your bedroom.” Milo rolls his eyes as if he feels stupid for adding too many words—like there's _another_ door that belongs to Jensen in the house.

“ ** _Get him undressed and in bed—my bed_**.” Jensen is scrolling through his phone's contact list. “ ** _If I don't hear back from you in five minutes, I'm sending someone over...got it?_** ”

“uh, yeah...loud and clear.” Milo reaches out with a shaking index finger to put the phone on hold. “What do you need me to do, Jay? Well, first...what do you want me to tell Jensen?”

“The truth. It's okay. He understands about my... _predicament_.” Jared rises to his elbows, and forearms, on shaky limbs. “An' help me stand...” He puts out his arm for Milo to take; he hopes his joints have enough strength to move and shift so he doesn't bear any weight on Milo. “I gotta walk to the bathroom...”

It's a slow process to stand—Milo with his big belly and already awkward in his regular motions, then having to offer out some strength he hasn't used in a while to his brother Omega who's extremely tall, willowy and who could be 200+pounds of dead weight at any minute if he passes out again. Jared's always been the one carrying him, not the other way around.

“Want me to bring you a change of clothes? I, uh...” Milo walks Jared over to the cushioned bench, so he can try to situate himself to an upright position without standing. “...I also have some Omega hygiene products I use when self-lubrication is heavy some months.”

Jared swiftly goes to stand, relaxing heavily on the bed frame, but he's hunched over with an arm across his belly. “My abdominal cramping isn't _ever_ this bad.”

Milo can tell it's a pain Jared's not felt before; there's added levels of worry on that furrowed brow and Jared actually seems a bit scared. “Are you cycling?”

“huh?” Jared shoots his head up, eyes narrowing on Milo's face.

“Ovulating?” Milo latches onto Jared's forearm across his chest, then cups the large biceps in his other hand. “Sometimes that means a heavier flow, uh...outside of actually going into heat.” He's stunned he's retained some information he's been told, or had to find out on his own during these long months of carrying the 'pup'.

“dammit...I don't know.” Jared swipes a hand over his face, then rubs over neck and nape. “...won't know until I get into the bathroom and see for myself.” He's about to push off the woodframe, but Milo prevents him from moving to twist him around to check his backside again.

Milo knows a thing or two about this stuff. “I'd suggest sitting on the toilet, then just work the muscles back there to see what comes out.” He's turned Jared around so he can look closer at the soaked denim and shirt; he tentatively presses his hand over the material, but he's also able to see with his own eyes there's nothing to worry about. “It's not sticky fluid or cloudy—like mucus.” He knows the more frightening would've been any kind of blood seepage.

“Can you—” Jared realizes he's been clutching Milo's phone, so he hands it back. “I don't want Jensen to send anyone else. Get back on the phone. I think I can talk to him before my next wave of cramping.” He starts making a slow foot-shuffle over the carpet, like he's waiting for Milo to fit under his left arm as it curls in mid-air.

Milo holds the phone to his chest, then moves under Jared's arm, wrapping his right about the waist and gripping the side of the massive torso. “You wanna speak in private?” He's got his thumb poised over the release button for the “hold”.

“ _...please..._ do you mind?” Jared doubles over in pain once again.

“no, no...I don't mind.” Milo has paused in their trek as he allows Jared to try to cope with the pain so they can make it to the bathroom. He needs to fill the silence with some type of conversation. “Is he your—?”

“I simply need him, Milo...” Jared's able to straighten his back, then leans his head on the side of Milo's dark head. “...le's leave it at that.”

“...okay...fine.” Milo fits himself closer to Jared's side and walks with him into Jensen's bathroom. Cell phone goes quickly to his ear. “Jen?...we're still here...making it into the bathroom now, but I need to get him seated somewhere he won't fall, so hold on...” He puts the phone back in Jared's palm. He's going to keep silent and only listen as he helps Jared undress once he has him seated on the closed toilet lid.

Jared raises his left arm to place his elbow on the sink ledge close-by, phone to his ear as he's now pressed it to go off “speaker”. “ _Jen?_ ”

“ ** _Jay, wha—?_** ”

“It's just me, lo—” Jared is about to use his endearment, but he stops. “Milo's still with me, but I'm off speaker phone.”

“ ** _jesus, jay..._** ” Jensen rubs over his brow, then combs back his front spikes. “ ** _...you're fuckin' scaring me._** ”

“I know; I'm scaring myself.” Jared starts to unbutton his top shirt, then slides out of one sleeve with the roll of a shoulder; Milo helps him out with the other sleeve when he switches hands. “I'm so sorry, but I _do_ need you.” He mumbles out as he lifts one arm so Milo can work the V-neck t-shirt off his torso. They're piling everything on the floor beside the toilet. “I'm not lying about that.”

“ ** _Is it—did you feel pain, at this intense of a level, because we're apart?_** ”

“No, like I told you...” Jared lets Milo help him rise as they both work on peeling off his jeans and underwear. At some point, they separate the two pieces of clothing because this is the area where there's the most absorption. “...my body's all kinds of fucked-up.” He sits back down as Milo is yanking on each of the jean legs from the point of the bottom hem at his ankles. “I'm, uh...self-lubricating...with some fairly intense cramping.”

Jensen pauses and frowns with some concern. “ ** _And this is normal for you?_** ”

Jared can hear his Alpha's worry so he speaks with a laugh laced in-between his words. “No, not _this_ way, but it can come damn close. I think it has everything to do with what...” He waves Milo away, saying that he can handle his own underwear.

“ ** _—what we did, together...last night._** ” Jensen nods his head as he begins to understand. “ ** _You were dry both times you came._** ”

Jared closes his eyes, a smile of relief spreading over his lips as he stands. “I _knew_ you'd understand.” He tugs over the towel that hangs off the metal rack. It naturally unfolds, so he attempts to tuck the material around his waist, one-handed, as he lifts the bottom hem to take off the drenched briefs. If Milo should return, Jared doesn't want to flash his brother Omega with the sight of his naked body.

“ ** _I guess I'm about to know more, huh?_** ” Jensen laughs lightly with a shake of his head.

Jared goes to sit back down, hoping to catch some of the wetness coating his skin; it's a little embarrassing at the moment when Milo wanders back in after taking away the dirty clothing. “A little more than any Alpha bargains for.” He's dropped the soiled underwear in the sink; Jared silently motions for Milo to turn on the hottest water and pull the plunger in the sink so the cotton can soak for awhile—like a pre-wash.

“ ** _I don't mind, Jay._** ” Jensen smiles secretly to himself as he gazes out the windshield. “ ** _You know I've wanted to call off work, so tha's what I'm doing._** ” He checks his side-view mirrors before he makes a lane change to head off-ramp to an exit. “ ** _I should've done it anyway, all joking aside._** ”

“It's not anyone's fault.” Jared soothes over his flattened thigh as he's placed his arm back on the sink ledge again. He keeps watching Milo's back that faces him, unsure about the disinterest being shown to him. He knows Milo has to be listening. “I've never had a typical laid-back Omega life.”

“ ** _I don't like..._** ” Jensen doesn't want to get into too deep of a discussion over the phone. “ ** _...promise me that you're fine, you'll let Milo help you 'til I get there and...please climb into bed an' don't do one more damn thing._** ”

“I promise...and swear.” Jared rests his head on his raised arm, feeling another round of pain influx, but not as bad since he can hear his Alpha talking and breathing. “I'm okay, Jen.” He feels the slight sheen of perspiration on his skin, so he tries to swipe it away before it collects into larger droplets.

“ ** _All right._** ” Jensen sends out a huge sigh, willing to give up some control until he arrives home. “ ** _I'll stop mother-henning you an' concentrate on the road._** ”

“You want me to hang up?” Jared has no idea where Jensen is in traffic or how close to the house he might be.

“ ** _Is it helping to hear my voice in your ear?_** ”

“uh, yeah...actually, I think it is.” Jared switches hands again so he can comb fingers through his hair and massage over his scalp where his head smarts from the fall. “I know I'll be even better once you're here.” He watches Milo walk over to him, a small first aid kit in his hands as he opens it up to take out what he'll need to patch up Jared's cut.

“ ** _Won't that..._** ” Jensen lowers his voice to a whisper over the line. “— ** _won't that make you more wet?_** ”

“No, not if I'm in pain.” Jared holds back the dangling brown strands from over the bruised and bloodied area of his brow. “Tha's only if I'm aroused.”

“ ** _yeah, okay...like that won't be happening._** ” Jensen mumbles that last portion with a shift of his phone chord so Jared won't hear his words.

Too late.

Jared closes his eyes as pain shoots into his head as Milo cleans off the blood, coats anti-bacterial ointment on it and then uses smaller-sized butterfly tape to hold the cut skin together. “...I won't dignify that with an answer.” He doesn't expect Milo to shoo away his hand then for his brother Omega to press a soft kiss to the hurt skin; he gives Milo a small grin of gratefulness, his cheek being smoothed over.

“ ** _I'm not expecting you to. Is Milo still there?_** ”

“Yes.” Jared gazes directly at Milo as he's putting everything back into the first aid kit.

“ ** _Has he_** —?” Jensen can only assume that Milo isn't freaking out because he sounds fairly calm, but Jensen knows the Omega must be in a world of hurt inside. “— ** _how's he look?_** ”

“Okay, I suppose. Pretty quiet.” Jared watches Milo wander away to place the box back where he found it in the closet. “Maybe it's not sunk in.”

“ ** _Think he's aware I'm your Alpha, you're my Omega?_** ”

“...not sure.” Jared leans forward a bit, feeling a dull roar of pain in his belly, but he isn't nauseous or faint. “I guess I don't mind at this point. I jus' wanna get cleaned and sleep some of this pain off.” He turns to lay his head down again on his arm, but this time he spins on the toilet lid to face the sink. “Hopefully, it'll be like my usual cycles.”

Jensen is momentarily startled by what Jared says. “ ** _Cycles? What? Like entering your heats and, uh...ovulation?_** ”

“hehehe...” Jared closes his eyes, rolling his head around as he imagines that Jensen is here with him and not on the other side of the phone. “...you're such a smart man.”

“ ** _No. I think I'm sick in the head._** ” Jensen clears his throat to begin to fill their conversation with informative dialog in hopes to change the subject soon. “ ** _I tried at one time, in my desperate search for mates, to learn about the heats and cycles of Betas and Omegas._** ” He gives off a tiny laugh. “ ** _You Omegas fascinated me. I couldn't put the clinical textbook down...it was a little arousing._** ”

“yeah, well...” Jared softly laughs as he also frowns. “I'm afraid the reality of it can be a little different and less mesmerizing, unless you like _that_ stuff.”

“ ** _I do, and I will._** ” Jensen is realizing that his Omega could be flirting with him, but he can't be certain unless he bites back. “ ** _You're finding out I'm curious and rather...hands-on._** ”

“I like it, because I like to teach...” Jared rolls his head away from Milo and almost mumbles these words into the phone. “...and I'm pretty hands-on as well.”

Milo speaks up with a soft tone as he stands in the bathroom doorway. “...'kay, I'm gonna go find you some of that Omega stuff I have.”

To be kind, Jared lifts his head to smile briefly toward Milo. “ _...thanks..._ ” He waits a few minutes to make sure that his brother Omega is far away.

“ ** _Jay?_** ” Jensen raises one eyebrow as he's heard nothing but quiet breathing from Jared for the last few minutes.

Jared smiles broadly into the phone. “We're alone, _love_.”

“ ** _ahhh...there it is._** ” Jensen chuckles heartily, letting out a small sigh of relief. “ ** _Now I know you're truly okay._** ”

“I'm ashamed I let it go this far.” Jared stands to lower the towel, then opens the toilet lid to retake the seat. He's pretty sure he's leaked as much lubrication as his body's willing to produce, but he'll do as Milo suggested. “I should've paid closer attention to the signs.” He still keeps the towel stretched across his bare legs in case Milo returns. It's an interesting moment of him working his back anal muscles, in secret, as he talks with Jensen, creating an oddity of intimacy that borders on somewhat disgusting.

Jensen clicks his tongue in the back of his throat, hoping Jared knows that he should take his own advice and not feel guilt or take blame. “ ** _I think you're simply knocked off your game. This is a new experience for you...and your depraved body._** ”

Jared smirks as he hears how defensive Jensen gets when Jared tries to talk bad about himself. “These are the embarrassing moment of being an Omega, where dignity gets tossed out the window.” He stares down at where he's sitting, shaking his head. “If you knew where I was...I think you'd be turned off.”

“ ** _Give it a try. Tell me where you are?_** ”

Jared wrinkles his brow in deep thought because it's too quiet on Jensen's end; he's pretty sure they've been on the phone a lot longer than he imagines. “Are you home yet?”

“ ** _Jay...c'mon..._** ” Jensen scoffs at Jared's attempt to change the subject. “ ** _...i's only me..._** ”

Jared sighs with the shake of his head. “I'm on your toilet, looking like I'm taking a shit...”

“ ** _...see, that wasn't so bad._** ” Jensen lets a soft chuckle eek out, but he's not laughing at his Omega. Now he'll add a story tidbit to relate his own life to Jared's predicament. “ ** _I should tell you 'bout those sad, pathetic nights I got so drunk out of my mind I didn't quite make it into the bowl..._** ”

“ _...awww..._ ” Jared's own shame, and embarrassment, slowly disappears with each word uttered. “...the golden years of a rebellious Alpha's youth...”

“ ** _Try—me...in my early 20s, only a few years prior to me being given my own pack._** ”

Jared stands to wobbly legs, leans on the front of the sink to turn and flush as he glances into the bowl water. “Well, I'm dry for the time being.” If Jensen won't act disgusted, Jared will for him. “I'm gonna shower now. Want me to call you back or will you hang on?”

“ ** _Call me back....but I'm almost home anyway._** ”

Jared looks at his reflection in the mirror, pulling back his hair to check the cut on his head, the darkening bruise with the small lump nearby. “I hope you're not running red lights for me.”

“ ** _Nope. Obeying traffic laws and driving the posted speed limit._** ”

“ahhh...” Jared playfully pouts as he tries to sweep the few strands to dangle over the injury. “...I thought you loved me.”

“ ** _oh, I do, Jay...so much..._** ”

“I know you do.” Jared carries the towel in his other hand, making his way to the shower cubicle completely naked. “Call you soon.”

“ ** _Not if I'm home first._** ”

Jared hangs up once he hears the “click”, then he's under the shower's spray.

==&&==&&==

Jensen doesn't even bother setting the SUV in its usual parking space. He doesn't unhook the connections of his cell phone and bring in anything he had taken with him; it all remains on the inside of the cab. His only priority is getting upstairs to his Omega—to Jared. He does happen to notice Christian's truck parked in the driveway and when he enters the foyer he sees piles of coats and accessories that never made it to the hall rack. Jensen snorts and shakes his head as he takes the stairs two at a time.

Once he's on the second floor, Jensen pauses to listen if he can hear any sound from either closed bedroom door; he's shocked how the thick walls self-contain private noises. He shucks out of Jared's coat—which fits him perfectly—and he knocks before turning the knob to enter. “ _...hey, i's only me._ ” His gaze goes directly to the bed, finding only Milo seated on the side where he usually sleeps.

Milo tries to give a reassuring smile toward Jensen. “I thought Jay was kiddin' when he said you'd run every red light for him.”

Jensen scoffs at Jared's blatant lie. “I didn't. He knows I— _never mind_.” He swipes his hand in the air for Milo to ignore what he was about to say. “It's him goading me into reacting, trying to get me to act more... ** _grrr_** -Alpha.” What Jensen thought was only tangled sheets is his Omega in deep slumber; he notices that the covers have been pulled all the way up, obscuring Jared's form, his face and head. There's only a smattering of brown rumpled hair peeking out on the stark white pillowcase.

“He's asleep, finally.” Milo gives a glance down to Jared.

Jensen sees the cup of tea placed on his own night stand as he heads to the end of the bed frame. “You gave him the knock-out tea?”

“No.” Milo shakes his head as he motions toward Jared with a lift to one corner of his mouth. “This is _him_ falling asleep on his own. I've got some aspirin and two **Tamasol** —the, uh...Omega equivalent of female human Midol—for him to take when he's fully awake.”

Jensen works himself out of his plaid shirt, then bypasses the bed with a somber, desperate glance toward Jared as he enters the bathroom to wash his arms and face. He doesn't want to touch or be near Jared without cleaning off some of the sawdust. He comes back out with the handtowel he's drying with to give a good swipe to his t-shirt and the front of his jeans. For now, Jensen keeps his boots on, but they'll stay on the floor. He sits on the side of the mattress, tugging back the blankets. “So...how's our guy _really_ doing?” Jensen's now able to see that Jared—possibly—is completely naked under the covers. He catches the bare broad shoulders and the beautiful back sloped to the upper curves of the rounded backside. Jensen stops there as he looms above, planting his right hand, palm flat, to the bed.

Milo can't seem to look at his lead Alpha, so he stares down at Jared's dark brown head of hair. Jared is laying on his stomach; his face is smooshed into the pillow as those huge muscular arms are flexed and tucked into his chest. Milo won't be telling Jensen that Jared is hugging the Alpha's pillow tight, unless asked outright. “He's doing better.” He brushes fingers through the silky locks. “Once we got him, uhm...off the floor and cleaned up.”

Jensen looks down, wondering exactly the state Jared's hole is in with the self-lubricating out of control. “Is he dry?” He hates how much that single thought has been on his mind the most.

“For now.” Milo adjusts to stretch his legs out from under his body. “But with his system not being...well, with it all out of whack and...that stuff he's been having problems with.”

Jensen nods his head to show he comprehends more than Milo thinks. “Which I know about. It's okay to mention everything in front of me.”

Milo turns his head away in mild agitation, because he's becoming aware that Jared and Jensen may have already tried to mate...or knot. He wipes at his eyes, putting a stop to those pesky tears of fear and anger wanting to build and fall. “I have some hygiene products they put out for Omegas around this time of heavier flow.” Milo shifts to draw back the sheets to show Jensen what he's ready to talk about. He goes further than the low waistline to the actual bottom and right hip. “They're these really unattractive underwear—elastic here and here,” As he speaks, Milo gestures with his pointing finger on both sides of the briefs and toward the front where it fits over the lower abdomen. “...then a thicker pad-strip going down the backside to absorb any wetness.” Milo points down the crease of the bottom where a white cotton line can be seen. “The briefs are reusable, so he can change out the pads...or, uh...you can help him, if he's unable to.”

Jensen realizes Milo isn't looking at him and his tone is hurried and pitchy, like he's pissed. “You know you can ask me anything you're curious about.” He blinks slowly as if he's waiting for Milo to go off on him. He expects the Omega to chew him out for making advances to his brother Omega. “Unless Jared has said something to you.”

“No. He hasn't said a thing and I'm a little too— _upset_ to ask... _excuse me_...” Milo rushes off the bed, wobbling away as fast as he can.

“ ** _whoa!whoa!_**...hold on here...” Jensen quickly re-covers Jared with the blankets. He hurries over to Milo, snatching his arm and gently pushing the emotional Omega just outside the bedroom doorway. “...please, don't tell me _these_ are because of Jared.” He's swiping at the quickly falling tears. “...you said he'd be fine.”

“...he will be... _sorry, Alpha_...it's not—” Milo attempts to clear his throat without his voice wanting to crack at the start. He shakes his head as he bows chin to chest in shame. “It was something that happened, something **_I_** said before Jared, uh—almost right before he collapsed, we fought...argued.” Milo isn't even sure if Jared raised his tone at all because he only recalls his own voice yelling. “No, **_I_** tried to argue, but Jared—being Jared—just wouldn't.” He alternately bites down on his lips, trying to prevent himself from overreacting. “I snapped back with something cruel and he let it go without a fight. Now I, uhm...” Milo swipes over his face to attempt to compose his emotions. “I'm feeling a little guilty and...some sadness...”

“You know Jared...he could care less.” Jensen slips his hand under Milo's chin to lift. “You needed to vent and he was there.” He gives out a smile of assurance. “If he had argued back that would've meant a whole different set of issues existed and we both know that's not who he is.”

“I know. He's just—I don't know,” Milo pauses as he averts his gaze to stare at a distant spot on the wall. “You realize how stupid your own problems are when you see your loved one laid out like that...” He's momentarily thrown off his train of thought as another image hits him square in the gut, which may have been why he starts back to feeling tears welling in his eyes again. “...well, it scared me...” Milo's voice quiets as he drops his head. “...thought I'd lost him...”

“ _awww, jesus..._ ” Jensen pulls Milo in for a sideways, awkward hug. It's strange to find that he's never quite been this close or intimate with Milo before Jared's arrival and now that he is, there's a bond he senses developing between them. He hates that he could've missed this opportunity without Jared's presence. “You said so yourself, he's fine.” Jensen soothes up and down Milo's side, his fingers barely skimming the roundness of the tummy, but he does feel movement of some kind that turns his caressing tender. “And I, as your lead Alpha...” He leans against the side of Milo's head, pressed close to an ear. “... _and your good friend_ , promise you Jared will only improve as the day wears on.” Jensen knows Milo is aware of what he truly means; Milo's suffered these same kind of aches and pains but felt better once his Alpha had come home.

“Thank you.” Milo pats Jensen's arm around him. He leans his head into Jensen's face, closing his eyes to absorb the gentleness he never expected to witness from a lead Alpha. “I'm glad you're here. I can't—I don't mind helping, but I can't bear to see him in pain.” He shakes his head as he's finally willing to admit he has a weakness he can't control.

“Then let that be _my_ burden now.” Jensen kisses the pale temple as he sends out another reassuring squeeze. “I may not like it either, but at least I know my presence gives him _some_ comfort.” He holds the Omega away from him, then reaches up to grab the chin again so he can look into those dark eyes. “Give us an hour or two to get him to rights. I might be able to convince him to let you come in, give him one of those soothing baths you Omegas are famous for...” Jensen begins to notice that a moment of silent shock is settling over the Omega's features. He tries to smile to show he's going to do no harm to Jared once they're alone behind his bedroom door. “...an' maybe you can teach this old Alpha wolf how to give a halfway decent body massage. Think that'll help Jared a little?”

“ _yeah..._ ” Milo tilts his head as he starts to realize that Jensen had been sharper and more swift to be on the ball to make a move toward his brother Omega in pursuit of mating. He wonders why he's not more upset with Jensen, only frustrated with himself. “I can't tell if it's you knowing Omegas too well or just knowing Jared, but...I like it on you.” Milo narrows his gaze deeper into Jensen's face as he watches his lead Alpha dip his head and a slight blush spread over his skin. It's rather endearing to watch this kind of shyness infiltrate a pack status well above his own, but it's something that has made it nearly impossible not to adore Jensen.

“Thanks.” Jensen sniffles out a soft snicker as he shakes his head. He can't help reacting to being “found out” to who he really is deep inside that separates him from other Alphas.

“I'll get out of your way...” Milo's able to switch gears rather quickly, now that he knows his efforts don't have to focus on helping his two favorite people mate, but now he can be their champion, and support them along their journey together. He dips low toward Jensen's face to whisper. “... _an'_ _leave you two alone_.” He clamps a hand on the rounded shoulder joint, then slowly drops his hand in a slight caress over Jensen's biceps and stops at the elbow joint. “Come find me when you're ready.”

Jensen watches the Omega waddle off as he nods, smiling as he twists to head back inside to disappear behind the bedroom door; he hurriedly moves to sit on the cushioned bench and take off work boots and socks. He pads barefoot to his side of the bed, crawling over to pull back the sheets as he kisses up Jared's bunched arm, over the soft shoulder joint to the warm neck. Jensen keeps his face there, left hand rubbing over the back as he inhales deeply, then turns his head to rest his cheek on the soft plait of dark hair.

“oh...would that I could always be woken in such a lovely fashion...” Jared murmurs into his pillow; when Jensen lifts his head, Jared untucks his arm, securing the limb about the torso beside him. He seems to be trying to tuck Jensen underneath him, along with the poor squished-beyond-belief pillow he stole from the other side of the bed—it had scented like Jensen and had given him slight comfort.

Jensen dramatically rests his head backward, off-set from the piles of pillows, allowing Jared free reign over his neck and collar. “ _...god..._ ” He lifts and wraps his right arm around Jared to get his fingers to tenderly slope the curved trail down the dip of the spine. “ _..._ didn't take long for you to be aroused.”

“ _...'m not._ ” Jared nuzzles, then nudges Jensen's face, burying away in the heated line of the neck. He murmurs against the skin, “ _...not yet._ ” He raises his head, resting the weight on a hand. “I miss'd you, _love_.”

Jensen looks at Jared above him. “Miss'd you too.” He reaches out to smooth a hand over the flushed cheeks. “You almost gave me a heart attack...” Jensen mock-pouts, which makes Jared react in kind with his own mock-pout, then they smirk at one another. “...and I was powerless to help you.” His Omega attempts to kiss away the feelings he suffered, which cause Jensen to shut his lids and soak up the tender attention being given. He's missed _this—_ the unconditional affection Omegas give out when there's no question or doubt that you're loved, needed and wanted by them _._

“ _mmm..._ ” Jared squeezes Jensen closer, gliding up the jawline and sideburns to press lips to the temple and brow. “You don't know how sorry, and ashamed, I am.”

Jensen releases an unintentional heavy sigh, wishing he could have better insight into Jared—the type Jared seems to have naturally. “ _All day_? You said you hadn't been feeling good?” He blinks his lids to open, green eyes intently watchful of the face above him as he frowns with worry. “After I left?”

“No.” Jared shakes his head, then leans his brow on Jensen's face. “It was kind of as I showered and changed clothes. Thought it was one of those nasty flu bugs you're so assured I'll get.” He takes in the light laugh that emits from Jensen's lips, loving the way it vibrates his whole body, right down to his belly. “These heavy cycles tend to give blatant signs and symptoms, not just...” Jared goes to lay his burning cheek on Jensen's shoulder, huddling away under the chin. “...tail-spinning me out with one jolt of pain.”

Jensen kisses the hair and edge of the brow to reassure Jared he's going to be all right, and Jensen isn't angry with him. “It's because we did what we did, thinking nothing else would come from it.” He shuts his lids, finding he's easily content at this very moment, with being held by Jared and feeling his weight and warmth on half of his body. “Dammit...I should've stayed home.”

“please...don't be angry, or feel guilt.” Jared drops his hand to caress over the t-shirt material on Jensen's wide chest; he slips his hand down the ribcage to stop at the waist of the rough denim. “Don't even try to place blame. It happened.” He closes his eyes as he now feels less need to contract his body with another round of gut-wrenching pain. “We now know I'm not completely broken.” Jared smiles and laughs softly as he turns his face into Jensen's chest. “My body's...slowly adjusting to a _sexual_ side of life.” He's never been more grateful than this very second that he has Jensen in his life. “Hopefully, soon...we'll get the two to match up an' maybe we can actually knot.”

Jensen could care less about sex right now; he's more concerned with Jared and doing anything, and everything, to make his pain and suffering better. “How do you feel?”

“Okay...” Jared adjusted himself to bring up his arm and tuck his hand under his cheek; he so tired and weary that he could shut his eyes and in the next few minute be completely asleep. While he's awake, though, he worries he'll be struck by more pain. “...but the cramps still come in waves. My belly's a little tender, but...hey, at least I'm ovulating, huh?”

“ _oh, man..._ ” Jensen tries to bite away his smile as he scratches at his stubbled jaw. “I feel kind of terrible, hoping for something we've both only been fantasizing about.” He drops his head to rub his chin over Jared's hair. “Do you care what the sex would be?” Jensen is able to fit his hand around Jared's right flank and starts soothing over the bare skin, fingers playing along the edge of the flat abdomen.

“No, not really.” Jared picks his head up to draw his right arm along so his fingers can trace Jensen's face, then his lips. “I jus' want a healthy 'pup', with an easy birth.” He can tell Jensen is side-eying him. “ _What_?” Jared smirks from one side of his mouth. “Is there something you've always dreamed about?” He's curious to what Jensen's been dreaming lately, if he's thought more about them and the chances of their own litter.

Jensen smiles as he clears his throat to begin explaining, “...when it was only me, doing my searching during the mating seasons...I always wanted a girl.” He shrugs his shoulder, unable to excuse the reason why, but he's had time to think so he'll go with what he's come up with. “Maybe it was in my quest to defy my father Alpha. I don't need that firstborn son—my heir—to put the pressure on.” Jensen also doesn't want Jared to feel the pressure to be the kind of Omega who worries about the sex of a 'pup' and disappointing the pack and his Alpha. “That he has to be an Alpha like his father.” He wraps his arm tighter about Jared's waist. “Plus, I just get along better with girls. I think a girl pup would be easy.” Jensen hates how foolish he sounds with his dumb Alpha logic that “girls are better than boys” crap, but he can't help but feel this way.

“ _mmm..._ ” Jared laughs, then hides his face away.

“ _What_?” This reaction is nothing new for Jensen; he's used to be laughed at. “Am I acting totally clueless?”

“No...” Jared lifts his hand again to let his fingers play along the strong jaw as his eyes stare. “...no, you're just adorably bewildering 'cuz you keep saying things that don't give any indication of being Alpha.” He shifts his whole body to lay a little higher than Jensen so he can look down into those sharp, darkening green eyes. “Yet, I feel like you're redefining the definition. You, Adrian...Christian—every single one of you barely fit the typical mold.”

Jensen nods his head in understanding, then twists away to stare at the ceiling above them. “My father is outraged, by the way.”

“yeah?” Jared rolls his eyes, then flips his body within Jensen's hold to lay against his Alpha and partly on his own back; his head now fits beside Jensen's as they lean into one another. “Well, the way I get to 'see' packs, it's refreshing to witness this kind of change in Alpha status.” He leans his left arm backward to soothe his hand down Jensen's chest.

Jensen clears his throat as he readjusts his right arm to curl about Jared's neck and collar; his hand shapes around the upper biceps and shoulder joint on Jared's left side.

Jared twists his head a bit more toward Jensen. “...you were saying you wanted a girl when you had been searching—have you changed your mind?”

“Only slightly.” Jensen lets out soft moans and groans as Jared is now cuddling his body into his side as he lowers his head to fit perfectly against him. It's odd that such a big guy is able to compact his body the way Jared can to seem smaller, so tiny and fragile. “Now I'm greedy, I want one of each—girl for me, a boy for you.” He shapes his arm down Jared's back again.

Jared loves hearing talk about a future together; it's something he's never known he's missed all these years. “ahhh, you think I deserve a son?”

“I think you deserve an entire litter who love an' adore you...” Jensen brings up his arm so his fingers can play with the dark brown strands as he talks. “...who look like you...with your luscious locks an' your killer hazel eyes that chameleon with different moods and clothes you wear.”

“ _mmm..._ ” Jared closes his eyes as if he can already imagine what their 'pups' will look like, or how he fantasizes they will. “I want them to look like their Dad...” He tilts his head as he raises his arm and uses his index finger to point out each of his thoughts. “...drop-dead sexy green eyes...pale, freckled peachy skin—I can tell them angel's kiss'd them to keep them safe and forever loved...” Jared hibernates his face away in Jensen's chest when his wandering hand is taken, the fingers tangling with Jensen's. “...the girl'll have longer blond locks and the boy'll have light blond spikes—jus' like you...maybe both'll have a tinge of red in their hair.”

Jensen wonders how lucky he was to find a fellow pack member who does this kind of stupid stuff. “...god...we're sick...”

Jared bumps his body into Jensen's as he lightly giggles. “...ill an' twisted...”

“Who does _this_?” Jensen is asking no one in particular, just throwing it into the air around them. “Who etches out how their 'pups' will look?”

“Weirdos— _like us_.” Jared lifts up to drop in to bite and nibble on Jensen's ear lobe. The way he moves his lower body, there's a _crinkle-crackle_ under the sheets. “ _christ...there goes my adult diaper again..._ ”

Jensen is so unprepared for that type of muttered comment, he outright laughs so loud he snortles until tears are in his eyes. He watches as once he's risen to sit upright, Jared pushes down the pile of linens to mock run-in-place, causing the most ridiculous noises that sound exactly like a baby's diaper. “ _...oh man..._ ” Jensen uses his t-shirt to wipe at his eyes. “...I'm actually a little turned-on...” He uses his thumb and index finger to slope down his nose to wipe away excess moisture from the corners of his eyes. “...does that make me a pervert?”

“I don't know.” Jared already misses Jensen's closeness, so he instinctively rolls toward him. “It might be, if we both hadn't found it totally hilarious.”

Jensen places his hand on the backside of the elastic briefs, tucking a finger under the trace the spread of the flexible waistband. “Should I peek back here?” He bites down on his bottom lip, lifting an eyebrow in keen curiosity. He wiggles the dark brown eyebrows in mock-seduction. “See if you're... _wet_?”

Jared looks up at his Alpha from under lowered lashes, then curls his arms under his head to lay his cheek down and push into his right biceps as he bites down on the skin over his shoulder joint. He's willing to “play” back with Jensen. “I'm not, but you're free to look.” It's when he feels the fingers slope over his bare backside that his stomach begins to flutter with nerves, and needing to explain what Jensen might find. “I may have been wetter if I had moved around more.” Jared glances over his shoulder and down his body to where the dirty blond head dips, like he's tempting Jared that he'll peek without a care. “I jus' don't wanna fall again...and I'm tired.”

Jensen doesn't look, but he does soothe over the bottom, kissing his way up the back to force Jared to remain laying down, then he straddles the waist by throwing his left leg over. He finds Jared has some ticklish areas between his shoulder blades and along his nape. When he brushes the dark hair away from the forehead, he sees the small cut and discolored skin with the slight bump. “ _oh...my poor baby._ ” He presses kisses to the injuries, then rubs his nose over the side of Jared's face. “Should I undress?” Jensen senses Jared go tense and tight. He's not looking for sex, but intimacy and closeness. He's pretty sure if they have skin on skin contact, it'll help stop Jared's pain. “I'm gonna take off my shirt.” He's already sitting upright, knees braced on the mattress as he reaches down, crossing his arms to lift up the bottom hem of the t-shirt. “I still feel like I'm covered in dust chips from the shop.” Jensen eyes Jared turning his face completely into the pillow, then tugging on Jensen's pillow, pulling it out from under his chest to lay flatter to the mattress. Now Jared hugs his own pillow under his head, twisting his face to the left. Jensen scoots down, fitting his upper chest to push into Jared's upper back. He notices Jared's eyes closing, right before those beautiful eyes roll back into his head. “Am I too heavy?” He shapes his hands down the sides of the elongated torso, starting from under Jared's arm pits.

“no, no...you're good...” Jared chokes out and tries to swallow. “ _...you feel good on me, love..._ ” He deepens his voice, unintentionally. “ _..._ am' I—I might get hot—I'll feel... _warmer_ than usual, but I don't have a fever.”

“I know, I know.” Jensen needs no more explanation as he tucks his own arms under Jared's to curl along with their shapes. He skims his lips over bare skin and over soft hair. “You get hotter when you're aroused. I like it.” Jensen kisses a cheek, then nips at the scrunched neck to slide over the bare nape.

“I don' think it's all me.” Jared is aware he's babbling, at the moment. “I really do believe I don't have much control of my, uh...abilities when I'm sexually aroused.” He tries to close his eyes, remain still and to simply enjoy the affection being given to him—it's tough for him to not want to reciprocate, even when he's in pain. “...especially when I was intimate with myself.”

Jensen is imagining Jared—alone—being “intimate” with himself and it's driving him a little batty. “Did you do something like what we did last night, but... _what_? With knotted dildos?” He finds he needs details, so he can picture this for his dreams later. “Like the ones I have?”

“yeah...” Sadly, Jared is taking the conversation seriously, unaware his Alpha is storing away information about him for his own jollies. “...sometimes it's just a plug. The first sphincter is swollen right at the opening. The Omega can take the knot then, once inside, it stretches perfectly and holds on, closing around the entire...” He can hear the deep breathes, feeling Jensen's heart frantically beating against his body; he also feels the slowly growing aroused state gently grinding against his bottom. “I'll stop now before I get us in trouble.”

Jensen chuckles deeply, sliding the side of his cheek against Jared's, lips parted to wet as he goes on to speak in a hushed tone into an ear, “...half of why I got off last night was _you_ —your touch, the way you held an' caressed me...hearin' your voice in my ear, your warm breath on my skin...” It sounds tantalizing even to him as he repeats what went on. “ _...jesus_ , it's amazing how so little with you can get me off. I'm not gonna last a second longer once I enter you, will I?” Jensen softly chuckles at himself, knowing how he can be—a little too eager at times when it came to sex.

“No. I don't think you will. But...” Jared slowly rolls onto his back within the span of his Alpha's body above him. “...that won't matter since I'm already ovulating when I self-lubricate.” He brings over his arms, fingers dancing alone Jensen's biceps and shoulders. “If you wanted us to get pregnant our first knot, this would be a great time to try.” Jared's shaping his limbs around the shoulders and neck, locking his fingers together.

Jensen can't help but smirk as he unbends his legs and slides them down the outside of Jared's thighs. Jared does a mild roll of closing his eyes as he shuffles his body. Jared reaches up to latch onto the body above as the thick forearms lay beside Jared's head, fingers are constantly brushing back the soft hair. Jensen is becoming enamored of _that_ face, loving every single feature in his view. He's fascinated by the serene beauty and the chiseled looks that appear like half-man, half-little-boy-lost. “What do you need me to do? Is _this_...okay?”

“This” is him laying hip to hip, pelvis to pelvis, and bare skin to rough denim.

“I's good, _love_...” Jared shuts his eyes tight as another wave of cramping thrums through him. “ _...ohgod..._ ” He twists his head away, body instinctively curling into a semi-fetal position.

“ _...jesus..._ I _almost_ felt that.” Jensen kisses and nudges Jared's cheek as, immediately, he lowers his hands to shape the hips, fingers massaging over the contracting muscles beneath him. “Is it better if you lay on your side or your stomach?”

Through a high-pitched straining pain-filled voice, Jared says, “...le's try the side, but... _don' leave me_...” His tone is partially breathless, all desperation, sucking in and out with quick intakes of air. Jared's truly never had anyone with him when he's suffered a cycle this intensely.

“ _waitwait..._ ” Jensen is scrambling off Jared, then moves across the bed to pick up the cup and saucer of lukewarm tea with the array of pills Milo had put aside. He's on his knees, balancing each item in both hands as he brings everything over to hold, until Jared gets upright. “It's only some of your famous knock-out tea an, uh... **Tama** —” He attempts to recall the exact brand name he was told.

“ **Tamasol**?” Jared manages to barely raise himself to his left elbow, his body twisted toward Jensen's side of the bed. He takes the cup by the handle, then extends the flat of his empty palm for the pills.

“yeah, that...” Jensen drops down the blue capsules, then waits to hand over the white pills of a brand name pain reliever. “...I think these are the aspirin. I don't know what kind.”

Jared takes each mild dose, then drinks the tea gingerly as he's afraid he might feel some nausea. He returns the empty cup to Jensen, then curls onto his side as he pulls up the pile of blankets to re-cover his body. A hand extends toward his Alpha. “ _...please...c'mere, love...I_ ** _need_** _to hold you._ ” The fingers fluttering in mid-air as if to wave Jensen over, like he'd ever refuse.

Jensen can't be any happier to follow a whispered request. He settles on his right side, laying a bit higher than Jared, then drags over the huge lump of an Omega and cuddles him tight to his chest. Jared does feel like he's burning up, but at least Jensen knows why. He presses a series of kisses to the high brow as it furrows in deep pain and those long arms try hard to _not_ hold onto Jensen too tightly. Jensen feels the balled fists at his back pushing hard against him.

Jensen pets through the soft hair, laying his cheek down. “You know I'd do anything to take away this pain for you.”

“I know.” Jared buries his face away in Jensen's chest. He's gnawing at his lips from inside his mouth to not scream out in pain. “I don't mind—really.” He understands this is all toward preparation in being the 'carrier' of a 'pup' for his Alpha, for the pack he now belongs to; there's no other way to deal with this situation than to simply bear it. “This'll all go away eventually, the longer you're here with me.” Jared keeps his eyes shut, softening his voice to mean he's about ready to try dozing off. **Tamasol** is widely known over-the-counter drug that has some type of a sleeping aide in its make-up, along with other effects, that result in making an Omega's cycle more bearable; that capsule coupled with the tea will help Jared sleep quicker and deeper. “I jus' need to shut my eyes for a good hour or two an'...I'll be right as rain.”

“Take all the time you need.” Jensen gently tugs on the ends of Jared's hair, playing along the nape and hairline. “I'm not leaving from this spot unless I have to.”

“ _...thank you for coming home._ ” Jared states his final words, before dozing off, into Jensen's bare skin.

“ _jesus...I wouldn't want to be anywhere else._ ” Jensen wasn't too startled to feel that one truth resonate strongly through his body and mind, settling right in his heart.

Nothing, and no one, mattered except Jared, not even his own pack. Jensen never thought he would ever be saying words like that and genuinely meaning them with no qualms if he hurt other pack members or not.

 

==&&==&&==  
 **TBC...**


	22. Chapter 22

Milo isn't thinking he's interrupting anything as too much time has passed after having watched Christian and Chad climb the stairs and lock themselves behind the bedroom door, so he knocks on the door on Chad's side of their shared bathroom; he casually strolls in without one more thought. What he isn't expecting is to still find the two naked bodies laying connected on the carpet near Chad's bed. It's clear that they're knotted—probably able to separate if they weren't passed out in exhaustion. Milo tries not to waste time checking if they're still knotted...he walks over to pick up clothes and starts pelting him with every single piece until Chad sputters awake.

When he does, Chad forgets Christian's knot is still tight inside him, so the hurried attempt to sit upright is jarring and painful. But he realizes the knot has shrunken enough that if he gradually guides Christian out it doesn't hurt. “ ** _whoa!whoa!_** ” He whispers quite loudly as he puts a forearm in the air to hold back more things being thrown at him. It seems Milo has stopped at the moment, so Chad lowers his arm, peeking over the limb up at his brother Omega.

Milo doesn't care. He's beyond pissed. “ ** _Get dressed! Meet me in our bathroom!_** ” He doesn’t know why he would suddenly turn into his mother Omega right at a moment when he feels more like himself than he has in months.

“ ** _Dude! A little rude, huh!?_** ” Chad yells at Milo's retreating back, then looks down behind him to see that Christian hasn't woken up. As he attempts to stand, he feels the slosh inside his rectum. “ _ahhh, c'mon...grossss..._ ” Without full control after being frightened awake, some semen seeps out of his loosened hole. “ ** _Christ!_** ” Chad uses the clothing at both his front and backside, managing to shoulder his bathroom door closed. “I need to fuckin' shower, man. I'm oozin' like a broken water pipe.”

Milo is seated on their closed toilet seat as he crosses his arms and looks defiant. “How many times?” He lifts his chin in the air, not sure he wants to hear any of this information.

Chad bounces around to hang inside the shower stall, dropping the shirt at his front so he can reach out to turn on the faucet knob to start the spray. He doesn't give a shit if Milo sees his semi-erect cock. “What? Why's _that_ any business of yours?” He shuffles over the bottom lip of the raised tile so he can stand on the cool flooring inside of the shower. Chad pulls the jeans away from his bottom to throw them outside the plastic curtain as he slides the barrier to block the view.

“Jus' tell me a ballpark.” Milo rests his arm on the sink ledge, running fingers through his lengthy inky black locks.

“Why's it matter?” Chad shrugs one shoulder at a time, letting the warming water spray pelt his front. “I fuckin' broke through, man.” As he grabs for the soap bar and wash cloth, he lets a smile slip out over his mouth. “An' it wasn't as awful as I had thought it would be.”

“Tickled for you,” Milo barks out a response as he turns his head away in mild disgust. “You gonna tell Jared?” He hopes Chad will do it before Jared has to find out some other way where he can't prepare himself.

“Wha's Jared gotta do with _this_?” Chad's now speaking above the sound of the water.

“ _jesus christ..._ ** _I fuckin' knew it!_** ” Milo pushes off the toilet lid to storm over and yank back the plastic curtain. Chad lets out a girlish shriek, trying to cover his naked body with his arms. “ ** _Stop freakin' out! You've got nothin' that'd attract me!_** ”

“ ** _Wha's your fuckin' problem, Milo!?_** ” Chad snatches the curtain out of Milo's grip and places it over his naked form. “I thought you'd be one of the people ecstatic I took my Alpha's knot.”

Milo simply stares at Chad as if he just said the most idiotic thing ever. “Finish your shower, then get your ass in my room.” He glances over his shoulder to look at the door to Chad's bedroom; he lowers his tone to a hushed timber. “I don't want Christ to hear what I have to say to you.” Milo is going to try to keep this a problem for the Omegas to deal with.

As the curtain is yanked back in place, Chad is scared and confused by Milo's heated reaction. He knows he better obey his brother Omega because it sounds like he's done something bad or that he might be in some kind of trouble. Like he broke a code in the Omega rulebook. He finishes his shower, with a quick shampoo of his hair, then fast scrubs his ass with a full cleansing of his hole. Chad assumes that the massive amounts of semen he senses inside—that he has pushed out mere minutes ago—does some good during his heat in order to breed, because during regular knotting sex it was fucking nasty. He's not even comfortable with his own semen spraying over his bare skin when he ejaculates.

Chad wanders back into his bedroom in a quiet and concentrated effort, his mind in rapid turmoil; he dresses in sweatpants and nothing else, bringing a towel with him to scrub at his drying hair. He drags a pillow or two and the comforter off the bed and attempts to make Christian comfortable as possible because Chad knows he's in for a good, extensive chewing out by Milo. Chad might not make it out of Milo's bedroom in the next hour or so.

...self-righteous Omega prick!

==&&==&&==

Milo is seated in a high-back chair, his laptop resting on his upper thighs as he barely looks up when Chad finally enters his room. “Close the door.” He taps his mouse then scrapes a finger over the smooth rubberized pad to scroll on the screen.

Chad does and softly pads over to where Milo sits near the window.

Milo takes a minute to glance over at his brother Omega. He can't believe they're close in age; he feels like the elderly one of this oddball relationship. Chad has always acted like he's still in his 'cub' years—his teens. “Come here. Stand by my side...” Milo motions to his far right, near the back of his chair. “...look out the window for me. Tell me what you see.”

Chad strolls over, grabbing for the top of Milo's chair, placing the folded towel over the cushion as he squints to see out the glass to the backyard. “uh...the huge yard and, uhm...a couple of trees...” He moves around to look out the different cuts of the main window. “...an' somethin' being built off in the corner, near the fence.”

“Jared's been working on that ' _something_ ' a lot.” Milo snaps out with a harsh tone. “I know it doesn't look like much right now, but he's worked really hard to get it right—you know, centered, just how it should feel for ceremonial purposes.”

“uh-huh...” Chad's not clear about what this should mean to him. “Was I right? Was I suppos'd to see somethin' else?”

Milo rubs at the side of his face, shaking his head. “No. Sit down, Chad.” He wearily gestures toward any area to his front, preferably on his left as his body has naturally niched itself on the cushions that way.

Chad doesn't see a chair nearby and he doesn't want to take the stool, in case Milo wants to put his feet up. He simply shifts to his knees, waddles over and sits on the floor so he can look up at Milo. “What'd I do now?”

“I don't know, but it's _not_ good.” Milo's gaze is focused on the monitor as he keeps scrolling while talking. He wishes Jared had been awake so they could've talked about this, but he's had to go into specialized websites that carry discussions on what does and doesn't pertain to Omegas. Milo's willing to admit he's a little rusty on this information—stuff a spiritual guide would know best.

“Why?” Chad untucks one leg to bend at the knee to pull to his chest as he fits the other limb tighter to his body. “I thought I worked through all my problems and then I was to get over my fear of knotting.”

Milo sits forward to drop his laptop on the stool cushions, closing the lid partway. “That _is_ good, Chad, but...you forgot that you made arrangements with Jared. Do you remember _those_?” He rests his arms on the space left on his thighs as he dangles hands between his knees. “Your heat's to hit soon, right? You were gonna wait until then, once Chris got back.”

“...c'mon, man...” Chad reaches out an arm to pat the cushion in front of him, wishing Milo was more easy to allow him to touch. “He came home earlier than I thought.” He shrugs one shoulder as he tilts his head, hoping for some sympathy credit coming his way. “Steve...an' maybe even Jen knew—I don't know...”

Milo isn't certain Chad is being completely obtuse of if he really doesn't understand his own Omega body. “But you planned to have your next breakthrough during your heat.” He's slowly realizing he's going to have to take it step-by-step to explain to his brother Omega exactly what's wrong. “You even told Jared you'd _consider_ knotting—if Chris was still talking to you.”

Chad puts up one hand, palm out to defend himself; he's always found it easier to use his blatant stupidity as an excuse for when he truly fucks-up. “Look, I'm sorry, but I didn't know.” He isn't sure how he's supposed to apologize for doing what comes naturally to him when he's around his Alpha. “He just sprang his visit on me. I even think Steve was in on it. What was I supposed to do when my Alpha was all over me?”

“I get it, I do, but you gotta understand something...” Milo clears his throat and tangles his fingers together as he sighs before he starts, “...you _knew_ —you knew what you had planned for your next session with Jared.” Dark eyes stare intently at Chad, a lone eyebrow raised in perplexity. “You've been able to control yourself with Chris for 2yrs, you couldn't wait 2-3 more days?”

“He's waited long enough an’...” Chad shrugs as he drops his eyes from the intense way Milo's gazing at him; he hates seeing the discouragement and the disappointment simmering in their depths. “... ** _I_** wanted him. **_I_** wanted his knot.” He's decided to take some of the main blame for what happened. “I could feel my hole leaking an'...contracting—expanding.” Chad lowers his chin, bowing his head in shame. “I wasn't thinking of anyone else right then.”

Milo swipes both hands over his face, then rubs over his neck. “I don't claim to know exactly what's supposed to happen when you start these ' _sessions_ ' with an Omega spiritual guide, but I _do_ know it's not good form to fuck with all the hard work already done to get to _this very place_ , Chad.” He points down hard, in the air, as he's driving his point home.

“So...I'll hit my heat in a day or so.” Chad crosses his arms around his bent leg, scratching at his scalp as he keeps talking with his head lowered, looking at the carpet under him. “Jared can swish his voodoo over me an' I'll be all nice and dandy—like how you did me that one time, in the studio.” He eventually lifts his head to let a small grin leak out, but Milo's still looking fiercely upset with him. Chad ends up averting his head again, mumbling incoherently, “I think it's better Chris and I work on _us_ , not work on gettin' a 'pup' made.”

“You have to talk with Jared.” Milo leans closer to catch Chad's downcasted eyes, hoping the severity of his actions are hitting home. “And you have to let him know you've been knotted.” He sighs and scoots back in the chair to lower himself onto the cushions as he drapes forearms on the armrests. “I don't know...maybe he'll have a better answer.” What frustrates Milo even more is that an inexperienced Omega trusted in his mated Alpha and compromised everything they had worked hard on to make Chad better. “I just—” He rubs a hand over his dark stubble, scratching at a cheek as he stares at some spot on the stool in front of him; he should put his feet up soon, always plagued by swollen ankles if he sits for too long. “I'm afraid you've probably messed with _something_ —something that was once in alignment for you, by Jared, and...you breaking away could have done damage.”

“ _Damage?_ ” Chad lifts his head to find that Milo won't even look at him; his brother Omega appears to be in deep thought. “It was a fuckin'...' _plan_ ' that was tentative, at best.” He's becoming pissed off because he feels like he's been getting conflicting signals around him; Omegas telling him to think for himself, but obey his Alpha, and an Alpha who he's hurt too many times, wishing to reconnect. Chad doesn't know who to trust or believe in. “Hell, I didn't know if Chris would _ever_ return.” He won't apologize for being an Omega and making sure his mate, his Alpha, was happy and content. He's done it this long, so Chad is willing to suffer consequences if that's what it takes. “I had to think of my Alpha and our relationship. I'm not gonna apologize for finally cleaning up a mess I've made.”

“Well, congratulations...” Milo bites back with harsh sarcasm. “...you may have made an even _bigger_ mess.” He does realize now that he's reacting on pure emotion—hurt for Jared and for Chad, but not for the obvious reasons one would think. Unfortunately, Milo is used to taking his grievances out on his brother Omega, simply because Chad knows no better and he's never aware of just how subtle Milo can be.

“Explain this fact to me, because I'm lost.” Chad might be slow on the uptake sometimes, but if things are explained to him plainly, uncluttered in a bunch of innuendos and hidden agendas, then he can comprehend. He knows how smart and brilliant Milo is with words and dialog, so he's unsure if this anger is real or if it's another ploy to jerk him around—being the newbie Omega and still so innocent and naïve. “Why's this so important that I let Jared in on what I did with my Alpha?”

“Do you _know_ what he's doing out there?” Milo gestures toward his window to the backyard.

“uh, somewhat.” Chad looks down, his brow furrowing as he tries to recall what the shape looked like to him. “Is it a gazebo or somethin'?”

“It's an Omega Circle 'temple'.” Milo raises his chin high, looking down at Chad. “It's being built outside of the house, _by Jared_ , because this place isn't spiritually sound.” He shapes his index finger around the room, in mid-air, to mean the whole house. “He's creating this 'temple' for the day you hit your heat.”

“ ** _WHAT?!?_** ” Chad is flabbergasted and speechless. He gets off the carpet and climbs to his knees to sit on his heels. “uh...I thought he'd just do what you did to me, but, like...on the floor in a room or somethin'.” He starts rubbing over his upper chest, feeling some tightness in his chest, like he can't breathe. “Why the fuck is he building **_me_** a whole temple? ** _I didn't ask him to build me a temple! I know I didn't!_** ”

If this hadn't been a serious topic of conversation then Milo would've cracked up laughing at Chad. “I know you didn't tell him to.” He pushes to sit forward again, his eyes almost peering into Chad's own soul, unwavering their intensity. “But I told you to be careful with him. I told you to tread lightly and not to make him any promises you know you couldn't follow through on.” Milo knew the character of both men, and he had hoped that he had been able to curb Chad's willingness to agree to anything and everything as he roped-in Jared's need to care for and comfort those in desperate need of attention. “Jared's...a pretty complex and straightforward Omega.” He twists his head away in mild disgust, fingers brought up to pinch the bridge of his nose like he feels a headache coming on. “I knew this would happen.” He flits his hand in the air like he's dismissing not just Chad, but all other pack members. “You... Steve...Sophia—I don't know...you all say you like tradition, the old way of pack life...” Milo makes a fist with his hand to rest his chin on, his elbow placed on his thigh to stare Chad down. He's using his brother Omega as a scapegoat, and as he talks he's already feeling guilty. “...but every one of you are such modernists, it's not even funny anymore.”

“C'mon...help me.” Chad quickly stands to his feet, swiftly making his way to the window sill and trying to pry open the wood and glass. “We gotta tell him to stop.” He's become frantic as he paces in short steps in front of the window, behind Milo's chair. “I don't _deserve_ a temple. I'm jus' an Omega. I'm not—”

Milo speaks with a dull tone, not even bothering to turn his head around. “Don't. Just stop it. That window is nailed shut. And Jared's not out there.” He inches his butt forward so he can push out of the chair easier. “You should talk to him face to face and tell him what you've done.” Milo feels exhausted, drained and so far beyond angry he's numb to the feeling. He swipes up his laptop, intent on leaving his bedroom and heading downstairs. “Maybe something can be saved out of all this.”

“ _wait-wait..._ ” Chad spastically reaches out to snatch Milo's biceps, loosening his grip once he notices he might be hurting his brother Omega. “...what do you mean?” He lets go in order to swing around and block Milo's exit; he folds his arms to then hold onto his long torso. “Why do you make it seem like I've hurt myself yet again?” Chad zeros in on Milo's face, tilting his head as his eyes plead for mercy, and maybe forgiveness. “I thought knotting was a _good_ thing.”

“It is...” Milo swallows hard, feeling the lump in his throat jump around and mess with his voice. It's an odd place to be standing; wanting to both embrace and choke his brother Omega. “...when you've let your cycle run its course.” He lowers his tone to a weird softness. “You had your first knot without having your heat first...you're body is probably about to go into a spiral.” It's a lot tougher to explain an Omega body make-up and the ways of proper spiritual guidance around this time in an Omega's life. “There's no telling when you'll realign your cycling back to rights.” Milo wishes he could use Jared's previous collapse as a prime example, but he knows this is to be kept secret.

“So...” Chad quiets as it suddenly pelts him what may happen. “...my heat won't show?” He lifts up his chin to look directly into wide black eyes. “ _At all?_ ” _jesus..._ he truly is the world's worst [ _or best_ ] fuck-up.

“No.” Milo's nearing a point where he almost wants to pull Chad close and act like his teacher or mentor, but he can't do that right now. “Not until your body is—” He waves his hand in the air, skipping over the lesson for the day; he'll get right down to cold hard facts. “—look...what you need to know is you've not only messed with your own body, you've royally screwed with the spiritual side of things.” Milo is near enough to Chad that he can use his index finger to point at a spot on Chad's body, which turns out to be his shoulder. “An' that is some serious shit you don't wanna be messin' around with.” He shakes his head slowly, gaze concentrated on Chad's face. “Jared's no joke, man. He's not a pack spiritual guide for shits-and-giggles. He's not a promise to break...or a ' _plan_ ' to renege on just 'cuz you don't have time to bother to wait.” Milo tucks the laptop under an arm, his other arm reaching across to grab onto the elbow joint, locking into position. “He's studied intensely for years for what everyone tends to find as bunk and totally freakish.” He should've left when he had the chance, because he's starting to boil and simmer in anger again. The “you” he’s about to speak of is not Chad specifically, but of everyone who has always picked on or teased Omegas like he and Jared. “You chuckle and squirm...I don't know, maybe you secretly laugh at him, find him an oddball weirdo...but it's his _life_ , not _just_ his career.”

“ _...fuck..._ ” Chad dips his head, hand scraping over the back of his head, causing blond hairs to spike and go in disarray. The hand settles to cupping around the nape and neck, dangling down the bare chest.

“Look...I could be completely bullshitting you...” Milo takes a few steps toward Chad, lowering his head to catch those eyes. “...but I'm telling you, there's a good reason I don't use my abilities with _any_ of you...an' this is one of them.” Then he steps back to watch Chad lift his head as they stare at one another. “Once a guide gets deeply involved, it's traumatic to back out of it.” Milo doesn't know any other way to explain the severity of what Chad's done, how careless he's been in trying to please his Alpha, but forgetting that he made promises elsewhere with other pack members. “It's not an easy road. It's serious business.” He sighs heavy, holding his chin high. “See, I have Adrian to balance me. I don't need to work my spiritual mojo, because my life is complete...” Milo smooths a hand over his protruding belly. “...or it's about to be. My focus is toward other places. But with Jared...” He shakes his head again, deeply saddened by such selfishness. “...man, this stuff is _everything_ to him, and, technically, you kind of just spit in his face.” Milo gives out a tiny grin, not really sounding very happy, but he stretches out a hand to pat Chad's biceps, then gives it a hard squeeze as he moves around his brother Omega and leaves his own bedroom with the solid shut of the door.

Chad really doesn't know how to respond. It's clear Milo is beyond frustrated with him—well, honestly, Milo never seems pleased with _anything_ Chad does. But now he's wronged another Omega Milo considers like a real brother. He has no apology set, not even a witty barb to lighten the darkening mood. He's still reeling from learning Jared had been constructing a 'temple' for him—there had to be some catch. He doesn't know what else to do or say and Milo had left the room as if there was no more to say, no more to discuss.

Chad leaves the room, by way of their joined bathroom. He goes right through to his own bedroom to find Christian no longer on the floor, but up on the bed. In case he disrupts his Alpha's sleep, Chad slips onto the mattress with ease and then folds both arms behind his head as he solemnly stares up at the ceiling. No matter how hard he tries, he can't see the “bad” he's done to Jared, or that mumbo-jumbo about screwing up his heat or his cycles.

He had been certain the one person who would've been pleased with him would've been Milo. He actually does dread telling Jared because it would've been too weird to have that second person observing or standing next to him and touching or caressing while his Alpha tried to mate with him. It was shameful enough on his own, the many times he had already given his whole body over to his Alpha. There was no way Chad could've “performed” with Jared and then any of his pack members who would've wanted to—god forbid—share their energy with him. Whatever that spiritual guide shit meant.

He had been laying there quietly for almost ten minutes before Christian began to jostle himself, then rolled over to notice he had company. “shit, babe...” He does a feline stretch and maneuvers to sidle up to Chad's side rather quickly as if to grab his Omega before he flees. “...what're you doin' jus' layin' here?” Christian slips his hand along Chad's flat abs to his hip, then down under the sweats to cup an ass cheek to caress the crease to the puckered hole.

Chad makes some grunting noises, closing his eyes as he feels his body stir again. Christian was growing stiffer against his thigh. “Is it cool if we jus' lay here for a bit?” He brings down a hand to put pressure on one of Christian's shoulders to hold him away.

“uh, yeah...” Christian finally rises a little to look down into Chad's face to catch the wide-eyed gaze. “...somethin' wrong? Somethin' on your mind?”

“Maybe. I don't know.” Chad shrug one shoulder then the other as he tightens his hand on Christian to a solid grip of the shoulder bone. “I'll have to get back to you.” He then pats the warm flesh as he spins to lay on his right side, back to his Alpha's front. He tucks his hands under his head as he closes his lids tight.

“Is it—?” Christian softens his voice as he slides over to fit himself against Chad's back and bottom; he tucks his face away at the nape, nuzzling the soft blond hairs. “It's not anything I did, is it?” He hesitates, but soon he's able to wrap an arm around his Omega's waist.

“nah, man...you're cool—we're cool.” Chad gives Christian a reassuring smile that seems to appease his Alpha as he soothes a hand over the dark-haired forearm over his mid-section.

==&&==&&==

At some point during Jared's restless two-and-a-half-hour nap, he ends up moving away from Jensen to lay on his stomach. Through hazy, weary eyes of his own, Jensen keeps watch of Jared, periodically scratching his back, then rubbing at the lumbar region. When Jared has fully awoken, he remains as still as he can and just soaks in the moment, with the feel of his strong, warm Alpha curled beside him, nestled close and hand constantly touching, soothing and caressing away pain.

Even in sleep Jared's body had convulsed, but less so as the medicines finally had kicked in and Jared had slipped into a deeper unconscious state. Jensen had been continually aware of Jared and he would often lower the blankets to make certain Jared hadn't had anymore heavy leakage. There had been spots of moisture on the pad but that was a given since Jared had fidgeted in slumber, but it wasn't anything that had needed changing. Jensen had promised Milo he could return and give Jared a massage and a warm bath, but he hadn't mentioned it to Jared yet. He wasn't even sure if the prior “argument” Milo had told him about had bothered Jared as much as it had Milo.

“How do you feel?” Jensen shifts his head along the pillowcase, a few of his fingers brushing through the dark brown hair covering Jared's face.

“mmm...okay.” Jared mumbles as he moves his head around on the pillow and his arms. “I still think a cramp'll hit if I stand... _god_ , I'd love to wile away another day or so in bed, but bein' lazy isn't gonna help me one bit.” He attempts to lift his upper body to his forearms, only managing to find a new spot on the mattress to crumble—right next to Jensen's chest. He bumps his head against the solid wall. “It's the tea and the pain meds. I shoulda spaced them out... _so stupid_...” Jared mumbles into the fitted bed sheet underneath him.

“...no, I think this is good.” Jensen softly chuckles as he stares down at Jared's limp head and body. “Gives me a good opportunity to make you an offer.” He tucks his right hand beneath his cheek.

“Of what?” Jared grapples for Jensen's waist, like he'll fall off the bed.

“... _a nice, warm soothing bath_... _maybe a massage_.” Jensen tone softens at each offer. “—you know...like you do for Milo.” He wraps his left hand around the shoulder joint then slides down to soothe over the back.

Jared cranes his head back, looking up at Jensen as he blinks slowly. “Who's gonna do _that_ for me?”

“I don't know.” Jensen shrugs his shoulders, a smile growing over his lips. “Mind if **_I_** try? If Milo can show me what to do for you.” He starts chuckling because Jared's, literally, crawling up his body, staring at him with a glint to his eyes. “... _jesus_ , will you stop lookin' at me with those sad, watery eyes” His left hand goes to cover those moistening hazel eyes, spreading the fingers so he can see them through the slits. “—man, you're gonna make me tear-up.” Jensen cups Jared's chin to raise his head so he can gently kiss the parting lips, then leans his head against Jared's face. “I think you deserve a bit of pampering with the fucked-up day you've had.” He rubs two fingers over the plump wet mouth. “Maybe it'll revive you...spring you back to half-functioning.”

“ _oh, god..._ ” Jared groans out as he huddles into Jensen's neck and settles on top of the bare chest. “...you two are gonna have your work cut out, 'cuz I have no spine or bones to speak of right now.”

Jensen laughs as he scoots around to lay on his back, dragging his right arm out to surround Jared's torso, holding him close. “eh, we're both tinier than you, but we'll manage.” He lets his fingers dance up and along the trail of the curved spine, nails tenderly scratching the bare skin. “Is it okay if I go get Milo? He might be anxious to see you.”

“Why would he be anxious?” Jared wrinkles his brow, his head moving around to tilt in order to glance up, off and on, to Jensen's face. “Wha's wrong?” He brings his right hand up to trace fingers along Jensen's jaw, caressing the length of neck and over collarbone.

“Not sure.” Jensen swallows, his voice clearing as he starts, “While you were sleeping, he left me alone with you as he looked like he was starting to sob. I thought he was overwrought about you, but then...” He draws his hand up to tug and wind his fingers around the ends of the dark brown strands. “—he mentioned something about an exchange of heated words you two had. He attempted not to call it a ' _fight_ ', or an ' _argument_ ', but...he felt so much guilt that he left your relationship at that point an' then he came up here to find you were—”

“...halfway to heaven...” Jared rests his hand on Jensen's upper chest, then lowers his eyes to close the lids as he sighs heavy. “ _jesus christ_...”

“yeah, so...” Jensen leans his cheek on the top of Jared's head. “...our little Mi'o is a bit shaken.” He slides his hand over so his fingers can curl about the shape of shoulder and shoulder joint. “I offered him a chance to come back later, give you a massage and a bath—under the guise of showing me the tricks to comforting my Omega in his time of need.”

“Did you put it to him like _that_?” Jared places his left arm down, hand flat to the mattress as he playfully bops Jensen’s chest.

“No. Chill out.” Jensen moves around to ward off anymore punches, even though they don't hurt, and grabs for Jared's hand. “He's kind of unsure, but he's aware of something. I told him he and I could talk later.”

Jared nods his head as if he agrees with that last statement. “I'd like to be part of that conversation, if I may.”

“Of course...” Jensen nods his own head as he watches Jared flips over to sit up, relaxing back on the pile of pillows. “yeah, of course. I didn't know if you'd be awake or feeling up to talkin' in length, if that's what it came to.”

Jared leans his head back on the headboard as he closes his eyes to recall the memory prior to his fall. “Milo was being his stubborn self, as usual.” He shifts his head around, drawing his left arm up to tuck under and around Jensen's neck and shoulders. Jared pulls himself closer, resting heavily on the pillow Jensen is laying on. “He wanted me to fight back, but I refused to engage him. If he doesn't want to address the issue, I can't force him. I've never done it to other pack members in my work, and I won't break for my own brother.”

“hey, I completely understand and sympathize.” Jensen reaches over to pat Jared's chest; he reluctantly pulls back. “I'm stunned by the things this pack has agreed on. Even more so by the pairs of pack members who've become close.”

“Me too.” Jared keeps his arm around his Alpha, but slides his head backward to lay on the wood frame behind him. “Your pack is a fine example of what _should be_ the norm.” He curls his arm, his hand shaping to let his fingers play over the strands of dirty blond spikes. “Not saying the _exact_ way, but in that the lead Alpha is open and honest, they feel free to be who they want to be.” Immediately, Jared thinks of Sophia and Steve, but he has a code he lives by that he sticks to religiously. “You know...I remember this one pack— _god_ , it's been so long since I've seen them. These two pack members stuck with me 'cuz they were the type of Alphas, like you and yours—the ones I don't see anymore.” He clears his throat, wondering how he should word this story in order not to reveal too many secrets; he doesn't think it's saying too much to say what pack status they were so it fits the same situation as the two Betas in love. “They, uhm...were part of this huge pack in Forth Worth. A third and fourth Alpha in status under their lead Alpha. Both had been long-term bachelors until one day...the third Alpha had to find his mates, one after the other. It drove the fourth Alpha batshit crazy.”

“Why?” Jensen isn't sure why but this tale is of interest to him. He likes it when Jared talks about these kinds of things, relating them to the present day, makes him feel closer to his Omega.

“Well, he didn't know it at the time, but...” Jared twists his head watching his fingers pet over Jensen's head as the green eyes blink up at him, somewhat adoringly entranced. “...he had been in love with his brother Alpha.” He looks at Jensen closely for a reaction.

“How did he _not_ know?” Since Jensen has experience now with “falling in love”, he wonders how someone—a pack wolf going on pure instinct—just denies whatever he's feeling.

“Being pigheaded and stubborn.” Jared tries not to let too much frustration lace his plain explanation of most Alphas. “Also...his chosen career left him no room to come out of the closet.” He pauses, because he now remembers that the other Alpha had the more prestigious, public career where not only “coming out” was frowned upon, but making it known that he had feelings for another Alpha in his pack. “Well, _both_ of them, actually.”

Jensen lets that information settle in his brain, trying to wrap his head around an Alpha attracted to another Alpha—he could see its plausibility, but not understanding how it could be managed. “ _He_ couldn't find mates in Beta or Omega?”

“no...” Jared shakes his head as he turns away to stare at a spot across the room. “...not once he realized he couldn't rightfully have his brother Alpha at his beck-and-call.”

“What did the third Alpha feel?”

“Tired. Confused. Hurt. Alone. And deeply in love with his brother Alpha.” Jared became quiet and somber, his mind racing back to that moment in time. “He had waited long enough, and he knew that if something changed in their dynamic that it would cause the other to take action—make a sudden move.”

“ _And? Did it?_ ”

“oh, yeah.” Jared quirks up one corner of his mouth, then snortles out a rough laugh. “In a very mixed up peculiar way.”

Jensen smirks as he peeks up at his Omega. “You sound like it ended happily—Alpha mating with Alpha.” He shakes his head at how amazing that very idea is, but he's thinking along with the Alphas he's known over the years, even to his own two Alphas in Christian and Adrian. He just can't “see” it ending very well.

“The reason I had been called into the pack was because of the peculiarity.” Jared crosses his arms over his chest, one arm shaping down to soothe his ribcage. “I am happy to say...they are _still_ mated, to this day, with two beautiful 'pups' of their own.” His face breaks out in a massive smile as he recalls the adorable family photos he has been sent over the years.

“Wha—?” This is a fact that makes Jensen go still. “Alphas having 'pups'?” He squints his eyes as he peers over at Jared. “You're teasing me, aren't you?”

“I'm not.” Jared shakes his head as he laughs lightly, sitting upright off the pillows. “I never tell too much of my client's personal issues, only the relevant stuff.”

“ _wow—whoa_...Alpha _mating_ with Alpha...” Jensen isn't able to wrap his mind around this possibility. “mmm, that would be one fucked-in-the-head bedroom.” He does notice that Jared hasn't broken down the hint of a grin that remains, so there's something else his Omega isn't telling him that might make this story more plausible. He slides off the pillow to rest on his right elbow. “You know...I actually do think there were some Omegas in my old pack who were in love, mating in secret right under my father Alpha's nose.” Jensen wipes a hand over his face, rubbing at his lower jaw with a small grin on his lips; he recalls how ticked off his father Alpha had been too.

Jared nods his head as he covers a hand over his mouth to stifle a yawn. “As spiritual guides, we do a lot of reintegration—if the pack doesn't vote to exile one or both pack members.” He smirks broadly, one arm stretching out then the other as he yawns yet again. He wipes at both corners of his eyes to clean the gunk in them. “I like it best when the packs are open-minded, allowing their brothers and sisters to be who they are.” Jared shakes his head as he bows chin to chest in sadness. “It's more tragic to follow-up with a pack member who has been kicked out of one pack to be sent away.”

Jensen pushes up, off the mattress, then bends a leg to curl an arm around. “Where do they go if they get sent away?”

“Don't know.” Jared shrugs one shoulder, then gives a tiny grin to his Alpha. “That's up to Pack Council and the lead Alpha—sometimes the mates get involved, if they feel they've been wronged and need vindication of some kind.” He nods his head to quietly tell a shocked, and stunned, Jensen that what he said is very true.

“ _What? Seriously?_ ** _Pack_** _Council?_ ” Jensen is a bit disturbed by the information. “I would think that's up to the pack itself, not Pack Council hanging over them like judge and jury.” He frowns, hoping his tone doesn't sound too biting and harsh. He juts his chin out to point into the air, as if the very thing he talks about is in the room. “Especially not with those old pack mentalities on the board.”

“Is your father Alpha like _that_?” Jared knows this is a sore subject with his Alpha, but he knows not to go too far and when to stop the conversation.

“eh, he's tolerant, but he's also pretty set in his ways.” Jensen averts his head, hand smoothing over his stubbled cheek. “I think that's why I'm polar opposite of him.”

“How did he handle his mated Omega situation?”

Jensen has to laugh, hard and strong, with the shake of his head. “Very discretely. He allowed them to stay as long as they—you know—” He rolls his eyes at the silly, and sometimes idiotic, tendencies of older wolf pack members. “—didn't go spreading their _weirdness_ around, start recruiting other pack members to revolt against pack life.” Jensen shakes his upper body as if a chill ran down his spine. “ _...ugh..._ jus' mentioning my father more than once makes me nervous and self-conscious.” He scoots across the bed to slide down to place his feet on the floor, then helps Jared to sit on the side of the mattress.

Jared pretends he's too weakened to be pulled off the bed as his gaze narrows on Jensen. “How does he _really_ feel 'bout you only choosing to mate with an Omega?”

“Don't know, don't care.” Jensen snaps back gently, with a solid nod of his head. “I no longer need his support in how to run my own pack.”

“Would he—” Jared does allow himself to be slid to the edge of the bed, but he sits there still as a rock. He dips his head to lower his voice. “...do you think if he knew ** _I_** was _your_ Omega, it'd make it tougher, or easier, to clean my pack record?”

Jensen sighs, getting to his knees on the floor. “Nothing he can say or do will change my mind.” He pats then shapes his hands around Jared's bare thighs. “It's too late. I've found my ' _one_ '.” A lone green eye winks up at Jared with a smile.

Jared grins goofily down at Jensen, caressing his face. “I never saw myself as possessive, never even knew I'd be fine being my Alpha's only mate.” He shakes his head, amazed at how rabidly obsessive he feels himself becoming at even the mere idea to the prospect of a Beta in their life. “I don't want anyone else to be yours— _is that awful of me_?” Jared's never known himself to feel this passionately about belonging to an Alpha and having that Alpha belong to him.

“No. It's damn sexy, is what it is.” Jensen tilts upward to take Jared's mouth, biting hard as he massages the thick thighs under his arms.

Every few seconds Jared twists his head away to speak, but Jensen always snatches his lips back under his own. “I love that you're all mine— _forever_.”

“ _mmm, always...times infinity...forever an' beyond._ ” Jensen tenderly pushes Jared to lay back, then raises the legs to surround his waist. Jensen's hardening cock beneath the denim scrapes over the pad covering the underside of the crotch and top of the backside. He does tiny rolls of his hips to soothe over the spread of the cheeks. “ _...god..._ you're getting wet an' already hot...” Jensen loves how malleable Jared has become, that he can throw the big Omega around and he'll fall anywhere he places him. “...is it bad of me to wanna rip these briefs off and just fuckin' knot you right now?” He starts trailing down Jared's face, along the stretch of the neck and onto the broad shoulder to the collar.

“No.” Jared reaches up, his arms sliding around Jensen's neck to curl around his head as he tugs and yanks on the spikes under his fingers to arc Jensen's head so he can see his face. “In my body, I want it too.” He leans upward to snap his mouth directly in front of the pouty lips. “It would probably take away the last of my pain, but...I wanna do this right for you—for me, for us.” Jared eases back down, pulling Jensen along with his barely-there strength. “Just like with what we did for you last night.” He tucks Jensen's head to his chest, petting the back of the hair. “There's a higher level of connection and pleasure we can reach. It'll possibly secure we succeed in getting pregnant.”

Jensen closes his eyes, rubbing his cheek over Jared's bare skin. “Even if we don't, I do want you to reach a level of release I had. Mostly because it'll be mutual and I'll be providing the pleasure _this_ time.” He yanks Jared back upright, smiling lop-sided as he notices how limp Jared's gone. “It's only fair.” With one last tug, Jared bounces against Jensen's chest, then stays there.

Jared's hands flitter along Jensen's torso, then along the denim waistband to work at undoing the button and zipper. “ _...lemme touch you..._ ” Head turns so lips can nibble and tongue can lick over warm skin. “... _I wanna touch you..._ ”

Jensen closes his eyes to feel those long, nimble fingers over his cotton-covered erection, then tucking under to soothe over his own crease and hole. “I think you're gonna help me fulfill my wish sooner than I hoped.” He holds on tighter to Jared, kneading his broad shoulders as he thrusts into the expert hands.

“ _mmm..._ ” Jared loves tasting his Alpha as he takes long-drawn out kisses over the pale, freckled flesh. “...it never crossed my mind an Alpha would want _this_ for himself.” He slides to the neck and nuzzles, nudging the face to twist away so he can bite and lap at more bare skin. “I wanna serve your _every_ desire in bed. _A happy bed makes a well-adjusted Alpha_.” After he says it the first time, Jared mumbles it against Jensen's body as if it has become a mantra in his head.

Jensen clamps hands on Jared to hold him away, his head tilting as he stares down into unfocused hazel eyes. “You still haven't told me your deepest wish, so I can fulfill it.” He chucks under the strong chin, petting along the rough cheek to tuck back strands of dark brown hair behind an ear.

“ _I haven't?_ ” Jared pretends like he's forgotten this most important answer to one of the first questions Jensen's ever asked of him. It seems so long ago that it was asked; he wishes his Alpha would drop the issue, he doesn't need anything but Jensen.

“No, but there's no pressure. We have a whole lifetime to make up your mind.” Reluctantly, Jensen starts to pull away and loosely does up his jeans, then dons his discarded t-shirt. “Lemme go get Milo before he implodes.”

“ _awww...Alpha..._ ” Jared pouts and makes a grumpy face as he folds his arms in petulance.

“I'll be back, Omega... _promise_.” There's a light spring in Jensen's retreating steps as he wanders out of the bedroom, wanders down the hall and stops at Milo's door to knock sharply. “ ** _Mi'o, it's Jensen!_** ” He hopes he's not too late in reconnecting with Milo.

Milo's door opens as he stands there leaning on the edge of the frame. “hmm...” He looks his lead Alpha up and down as if he suspects he'll see some massive change in Jensen. “I thought it'd take a lot longer for you to come get me.” Milo raises his chin to inquire, “How's he doing?”

“Getting better.” Jensen cups his hands around his hips. “Made him take the meds and drink the tea.” He scratches at a spot on his cheek, then at the back of his head. “He slept for a solid two hours and then some.”

“Good.” Milo lifts both eyebrows in mild shock, then lowers one eyebrow to ask another question. “Any wetness?” It's still mind-boggling to him that an Alpha would tend to his Omega in this fashion. Of course, Adrian was one of those rarities, simply because he loved Milo, but to have found another Alpha so willing to cater to his Omega's needs was astounding.

“Jus' the usual from moving around.” Jensen folds his arms, fingers clasping his biceps in each hand. “He slept on his stomach and sides.” He clears his throat to go on to describe an instance Milo might want to know about. “He had some bad cramping right before he took everything and went to sleep. But even in sleep, he kept twitching and wincing.”

Milo stares at Jensen but doesn't say a word, then just nods slowly in acceptance. He leaves his door open as he's still kind of numb from yelling at Chad earlier. Milo goes into his closet and takes out his Omega Circle gown, no robe. “I'll change and follow you into your bedroom. Take _this_...” He pulls out the folded massage table, passing it across the floor toward Jensen. “Set the table up and get Jared comfortable. It's up to him if he wants to keep that pad on but we'll need some towels and wet washcloths, preferably hot-to-warm.” Milo takes the hanger off the gown, then furrows his brow. “Do you have any body-oils in your room?”

“uh, yeah.” Jensen will not be admitting where exactly to find the body-oils so he keeps mum. “I'll bring out the bottle.”

“Actually...” Milo stops himself from moving as he realizes an easier way to warm the oil. “...microwave the bottle for a few seconds. The other way you can do this is put the bottle in hot water to soak to temperature.”

Jensen frowns, making a curious face of wonder. “Should I be writing this down?”

Milo deeply chuckles, shaking his head. “No. It's okay if we don't follow _all_ the steps. I'll lead or guide the situation, but Jared will be the one in control. We cater to his needs.”

“Of course we do. I'll see you soon.” Jensen strolls out, carrying the folded table like it's no burden. When he re-enters the bedroom, he doesn't notice Jared seated on the bed; the bathroom door is partway open. Jensen leaves his Omega alone as he unfolds and sets the massage table up. He considers getting a draw sheet or maybe one of the extra-large towels so Jared can lay on something softer than the leather cushions. He knocks on the bathroom paneling, managing to catch Jared at the sink; he's only wrapped in a towel around his waist. “You wearing anything under that?”

“No. Why?” Jared sticks out his arms to look down at himself. “Do you want me to? I can put on another pair of those, uh... _briefs_.” He makes a “face” as that seems to be the last thing he feels like doing.

They share a light chuckle as both of them are reminded of the _crinkle-crackle_ diaper sound it makes.

“No-no...” Jensen waves his hand in the air, a smile resting on his lips like he's about to laugh outright. “...this is about what makes _you_ comfortable.” He makes a wide sweeping gesture toward his Omega, then points his thumb over his shoulder to the room behind him. “I got the table set out here, and Milo will be on his way.” Jensen shakes his head with another soft chuckle as he goes to lean on the wood paneling. “I got a grocery list of tasks to prepare for your massage.”

“ _What?_ ” Jared wants to laugh but he doesn't understand what Jensen means.

Jensen starts tabulating the growing list off his right hand. “Wet cloths—hot or warm...plenty of towels and, uh...heating the oil.”

“ _The body oil_? oh, yeah...” Jared nods his head in complete agreement; it's exactly what he uses when he massages Milo some mornings. “...take it downstairs to the microwave—a few seconds of heat.” He jerks to move about the room and collect washcloths, while also looking for a bowl big enough to hold them. “I'll get the cloths ready.”

“You sure?”

“Go.” Jared waves Jensen away to work on the oil, while he takes care of the rest. “I'll be fine.”

Jensen nods, then heads out to the night stand and grabs the bottle out of the drawer—the **Omegalight** rolls into his view and he shudders, feeling his cock swell. He slams the drawer and catches Milo on his way in with a draw sheet; the Omega wears his ceremonial gown and seems... _different_ , like he's calm and found his “center”. “I'll be back. Jared's in the bath, getting the cloths and dry towels.”

Milo nods his head as he shakes out the sheet, folds the material in half to drape it over the table. He had brought the head pillow, in case Jared wanted to rest higher on the surface. He doesn't see Jensen leave as his eyes keep darting to the open bathroom door. He isn't sure whether to go over or just wait for Jared to come out. As he's about to round the shape of the table, Jared exits in only a towel. He has a bowl of sudsy water with cloths swimming inside and two hand towels thrown over his bare shoulder. Jared looks refreshed, less pale, though he does seem a little alert to pain fluctuating. What Milo notices more than anything is how familiar his brother Omega appears to be about his place in Jensen's bedroom, like he truly belongs and has lived here for years.

Jared scoots over the low ottoman to place it beside the table, placing the bowl and towels down. He keeps the one around his waist, resting a hip on the edge of the table. “I was gonna go nude, if tha's okay with you.”

“yeah-yeah...sure...” Milo flits his hand in mid-air, not caring what Jared feels like doing. “...whatever makes you _most_ comfortable. I can still, uh...” He feels a little self conscious in the presence of a professional Omega spiritual guide like Jared. “I won't put you on full display at the onset.” Milo scratches at his scalp. “What we can do is...take the towel off, fold it to drape the material over your lower half, from the waist down. It's up to you if the towel stays or goes.”

“eh, we know how that can be.” Jared nods his head in agreement, then braces his right arm on the leather cushions as he leans. “Massages during cycling tend to make us... _fidgety_.” He knows there's a better, more precise word to use but this one suffices to drive home the point.

“Even more so than usual.” Milo lifts an eyebrow in curiosity because he knows how he reacts, but not how other Omegas would, not even Jared. He gestures to the bowls as he speaks, “I wanted the wet cloths in case you secrete anything or, uhm...we happen to bring you to a release.” Milo glances over his shoulder as he feels a bit conspicuous being left alone with Jared, not knowing where they stand. “Does Jensen know what _might_ happen?” Since it seems like they're dancing around the truth of the moment, he won't come outright and say that his brother Omega could, or couldn't, spontaneously orgasm on-the-spot.

“No, but he'll be fine.” Jared dips his head to loosen the tucked in material of the extra-large towel around his waist. He's leaning his bottom heavily on the massage table surface. “Don't worry about him.” He keeps the towel material in place, hiding his nudity by dangling his arms down his thighs. “He hasn't been disgusted, or turned away, so far.”

Milo feels an unusual awkward silence, then is stunned when he hears Jared sigh with some relief at the sight of Jensen returning through the doorway. There's a light laugh with a faint flush to his cheeks.

“ _What did you do?_ ” Jared's too curious by the mischievous look to Jensen's features.

Jensen holds up two plastic squeeze bottles. “One for me, one for Milo. An' both are warm and toasty.” He wanders around the table to hand one bottle to Milo. “So hop on, Jay...” He pats the leather cushions with one hand. “Le's see if we can get you back to feeling like your old self.”

Jared hitches a hip onto the cushions, swinging his leg first, then shifts his butt over as he brings his second leg to align. He settles onto his back, then relaxes as he holds his body in a single straight line, with the towel still over his body.

“I have the head extension.” Milo holds the piece up in the air. “You want it?”

“nah... _this_ is good for now.” Jared begins to fold the material down, again and again until it ends at his waistline.

Jensen brings over an over-sized pillow from the chair. “Here.” He shows he wants to place the plushness under Jared's head. Once the head is on the pillowcase, he combs back the dark brown hair, pressing a kiss dead center of the brow.

Jared snatches one wrist and kisses the skin as he nudges the hand. “ _...thanks._ ”

“Anytime, Jay...” Jensen playfully bats at the tip of Jared's nose, then slides over the softness of a cheek. “...you know that.”

The tiny exchange makes Milo find it tough to swallow the lump lodged in his throat as he watches his lead Alpha scratch along the underside of his brother Omega's jawline. It seems that the two men don't need much help in the “getting to know your mate” phase; they appear to be far beyond that point. Milo oils his hands first, then sprinkles a strip down the center of Jared's chest. “I'm just gonna get him familiar with my touch.” He points over to the bottle that Jensen has leaned on Jared's body as he waits to be told what to do. “If you want, Jen, oil your hands and join me.”

Jensen picks up the bottle, but hesitates, tossing the item from one hand to the other. “Don't wanna over-stimulate him.”

Milo smirks with the sharp shake of his head as he works on one half of Jared's torso. “You won't. Though I'm here, after a while, Jared won't be paying **_me_** any attention.” He gestures with his whole head toward his lead Alpha. “He'll gravitate toward **_you_**.”

“Because he scents me?” Jensen smiles with a quirky lift to his eyebrow.

“That, and he's sensitive to your touch.” Milo pulls a hand out from the area of his own gut. “He'll _crave_ it, the more we go along.” When he notices Jensen doing perfectly well in the chest region, working on the limp arms, he lifts the towel hem so he can move down to the upper thighs.

Jensen startles like he wants to cover his Omega, but Jared stops him.

“It's okay, _love_.” Jared pets Jensen to get him to stop the low growling sound building under his breathing. “He has _no_ intentions toward me.”

“I know—I just... _sorry_...” Jensen bows his head, looking into Jared's face. “I'm not used to another's hands on you—not while you're completely naked.” He motions down to where Milo is working on Jared's bare leg

“Do you wanna leave?” Jared tugs Jensen to face him, his gaze intent and serious about what he asks. “It'll only get worse before it doesn't look like he's manhandling me.”

“No.” Jensen chuckles at his silliness and shakes his head adamantly. “You _need_ me.” He licks his lips, then mutters quite coherently, “... _not leaving you—_ ** _ever_**.”

The two Omegas share a “look” that the poor Alpha never becomes aware of...

==&&==&&==  
 **TBC...**


	23. Chapter 23

Milo is now at the calf and foot of the right leg, about to shift over and work up the left side, but he pauses to glance at Jensen. “Would you like to do _this_ , Jen?” He doesn't want to cause a collision of their bodies if his lead Alpha wants to stick with the whole of Jared's left portion of his body.

“oh, I'm not—you can keep going.” Jensen waves away Milo's offer. He's trying to cover up the embarrassment of his growling. “I'm just bein' my typical Alpha self.”

“No...” Milo lightly snickers because he knows typical Alphas and Jensen ain't even close. “...no, you're not.” He winks up at Jared as half-lidded hazel ones look down at him with a half smirk.

Jensen stops massaging, hands placed flat to his Omega's bare skin. “What's _that_ mean?”

“Jared knows better than I, since he's had more experiences.” Milo swishes a hand toward his brother Omega. “I'm sure he's seen _all_ sides of violence.” His response is so flippant he doesn't even realize the word he's used.

Jensen snaps his head to stare down at Jared. “Is this true? Is there _violence_ done to you by Alphas?” There's a lump caught in his throat at the mere thought of Jared's life in danger, and Jensen not being around to have kept him safe.

Jared blinks slow, trying to focus as he feels the sensation of two pairs of hands working over his body; he's turning into complete mush about now. “ _uh, yeah..._ ” He brings up his right hand to swipe across his brow. “...but it doesn't escalate too far.” Jared coughs into the hand he forms into a fist, then curls the arm to arc it over his head as he twists to look at Jensen. “It's why we work in pairs, and we've trained in different fighting techniques and self-defense.” He swallows as he scratches at his throat. “I've been shot at once...had a knife pulled on me...”

“ _jesus_ , Jay...” Jensen cranes his head around on his neck, not sure he likes how dull Jared's tone sounds as he says this stuff like it's no big deal. “How can you be so blasé about _that_ kind of danger?”

Jared moves his left arm to bend as his hand goes to settle on Jensen's hip. “Because it's never escalated to an injury or hospitalization. Not saying I haven't take a good punch or two, but...” He furrows his brow as Milo kneads up along his right leg, over kneecap onto the meaty thigh. As pressure is applied, he winces in mild pain, which looks like the throes of agonized ecstasy. Jared reaches out to latch onto Jensen's jean belt loop. “...mmm...tha's a tender area.” He glances down at Milo. “Where were you? Seconds ago?”

“About mid-thigh.” Milo's oiled hands dangle in mid-air as he points out where he's been and where he's going. “I'm going up inseam and outer-edge at the same time.”

“... _hmm—weird_.” Jared murmurs, but then shrugs off the sudden concern.

“What?” Milo is curious because Jared usually has a high tolerance for pain, and his reaction was quite active and vocal.

“I didn't feel this on my right thigh.” Jared shuts his eyes briefly. “Never mind. Only an observation.”

“Still can't stop being a ' _guide_ ', can you?” Milo smiles as he teases his brother Omega lightly.

“It's ingrained in me.” Jared manages to gain some strength to softly butt his leg against Milo's body. “I'll probably _always_ try to ' _guide_ ' in my life.”

“Wha's wrong with that? Makes you a better Omega. Especially for your, uh... _mate_.” Milo's not going to try and get Jared, or Jensen, to break their shared silence. They would reveal their truth on their own time. He glances at Jared as he situates back around to the other side of the table. “All right...I may be a bit rusty on the dialog, but I'll do my best to get these words right.” Milo's hands barely touch, only hover over Jared's abdomen, where the cramps originated; he closes his eyes and begins to sing-chant in a lyrical form of an old Omega Circle prayer above the area.

Jensen's never heard this kind of blessing or prayer uttered; it's as if Milo is humming as he talks with a heavy throat contraction. That's when he realizes it's the old wolf language put to song, or some inner medley.

Milo levitates his hands over the stomach, then folds down the towel to display pelvic and hip bones...there's a dark brown triangle of pubic hair with a bare cocktip poking out. Milo continues to remove the towel, from the groin area until it has completely vanished into a single strip of material resting across the dark-haired upper thighs, right around the crease of the legs into the genital area. Jared's nudity is partly on display, but doesn't cause much interest as the length is flaccid.

Jensen licks his lips, but moves around to hover at the head of the table; he leans forearms on the top of the pillow, shaping Jared's dark head. He's fascinated by what's happening, because it appears as if the closer Milo's hands are to the spread of Jared's legs, the more Jared begins to jostle around on the table. It seems like Jared is searching for Jensen—his Alpha. As he stands above Jared, Jensen settles his arms down, for his Omega to grab, and then Jared turns and twists his head to rub over Jensen's skin.

Jared savors close contact and he'd rather not have to rip off Jensen's trusty old t-shirt. Jensen detaches briefly, hearing the hushed whimpering coming out of Jared's throat as he tries to evenly breathe, but he takes off his t-shirt and sidles up to the side of the table, on Jared's left. He notices that Milo hasn't even _touched_ Jared yet, so everything Jared is reacting to is all from him opening his mind and letting whatever is around him to enter his body, or his spirit. It's a rather powerful rush to feel that kind of control, to know that his Omega is weak enough for him to do what he pleases. But for now, Jensen is agreeable to be a mere observer, only here to help, if needed. He trusts in Jared enough to know he'll show him exactly what he wants or needs.

Milo's hands stop hovering; he returns to the start with well-oiled hands palpating the lower torso, then kneading toward the belly button. “Come here.” He waves his lead Alpha over, peering at Jared writhing around in mild ecstasy. “Jus' press down, gently...” Milo demonstrates for Jensen what to do as he pushes tenderly against the flat of the abdominal wall. “You'll feel what's happening inside.”

Jensen does as Milo asks, his palm at the low abdominal region under the belly button. “ _...whoa..._ what is _that_?” It feels like a quick staccato of hurried muscle movements, almost like a flutter or a burst of laughter.

“Anal contractions.” Milo doesn't bother looking at Jensen, his mind is focusing on Jared. He softens his voice, talking in low tones because Jared's gone into a certain headspace where he can't be reached, nor can either of them speak too loud to disturb him. “He's got great control. I don't even think he's aware he does them.”

Jensen follows Milo's use of a whisper as he speaks, “What does that mean?”

“Well, a few things.” Milo drops his hands to rest in loose fists on the table. “Right now, it mean he's about to have an orgasm—through the rectum.” He clears his throat with a solid cough, then scratches a thumbnail at his dark eyebrow. “He'll probably secrete lubricant, laced with some ovum...” Milo turns his head to become aware that Jensen appears to be clueless. “... _gamete_?” He sees his lead Alpha is unaware of some of the Omega medical wording. “In the female, we'd call it...' _eggs_ '.” Milo stares down at Jared, then trails his gaze along the long, lean body to stop at the groin area; he calmly places a hand on the right thigh, cupping the meaty portion. “Since he's ovulating, along with the self-lubrication, chances are he'll drop a few unfertilized ovums.”

“How will you know?” Jensen watches the tilt of Milo's head as he tries to peek down between the spread thighs.

“The secretion'll be a little more milky, in content...like sperm. He feels...” Milo twists his body to lean a hip against the table ledge, his hand still touching Jared's thigh, but not caressing; he's simply trying to ground his brother Omega to this plane of reality. “...well, _I_ 've been feeling—from him—that's he's been blocked.” He gestures to his own chest. “I don't know the extent of what occurs when he masturbates or gets off alone, what he ejaculates.” Milo's not trying to dig for information, but it seems like Jensen is going to answer him anyway.

Jensen averts his head to stare down at Jared's face as it arcs back and swivels away, dark brown strands fan over a flushed cheek. “He's come _both_ times with me, but we've...” He drops his chin to chest, lowering his voice even more as he reveals what's gone on between them. It's time to tell someone, to stop lying. “...we haven't knotted.” Jensen crosses his arms, his hands balled into fists to prevent himself from caressing Jared unless he's “invited” to touch.

Milo nods slowly with a stone face; he's intently watchful of the tightening of Jensen's body and those large fists he hides away. “Because he was dry?” It's clear to him his lead Alpha wants to reach out and touch his Omega, but respects the distance needed until he's approached. The amount of control Jensen has amazes Milo.

“ _yeah...sorry._ ” Jensen has sense enough to bow his head in shame as he looks toward Milo. “I know this has been...awkward, and it's shitty to tell you like this.”

“Jensen, look...” Milo adjusts his body to face Jensen directly across the way, his hand moving along Jared with his movements. “Both of you are grown men—unmated.” He lifts up one side of his mouth in a quirky smile. “It doesn't matter that my fantasy for you two actually happened before I even got to play matchmaker.” Milo tries to catch Jensen’s gaze and hold it steady. “I'm just glad he has someone, and that it's you.”

Jensen nods his head in acceptance, then clears his throat. “We wanted to take this slow—get to know one another—to take sex and knotting out of the equation. But...” He turns to look down at Jared as the dark brown head swivels again in his direction. “...no one can deny when mating is inevitable and the two involved are drawn together.”

Milo can hear the natural tenderness in Jensen's tone. “... _jesus_ , you think this is _your_ fault, don't you?”

“yes, I do...but so does Jared.” Jensen reaches out to caress Jared's face, then his hair, but the touch is light and barely-there to disrupt. “He keeps warning me how fucked-up his body is sexually, but, so far, in my presence...he's come and...” He throws his hand up in the air to motion toward his Omega's lower body. “...well, he's self-lubricating again.”

“I think you know _this_ is cycling, usually in conjunction with being in heat...” Not only does Milo want Jensen to know what his Omega's going through, but he wants him to be aware that this is the right time to consider the possibility of knotting. “... _and_ he's ovulating.”

Jensen gives out a small smile with some shyness. “yeah, I _do_ know, but thanks for being willing to make it clearer.”

As Jared makes another guttural noise that eeks out of his throat—like he's saying something in another language that only another Omega would comprehend—Milo shifts down to gently part Jared's legs wider. “He's seeping a bit.” He goes over to the bowl to wring out a cloth. “It's why I needed these.”

“Smart.” Jensen praises Milo as he's sending rapt attention to what Milo's doing to Jared.

Milo smirks as he shakes his head at how much he _is_ remembering about spiritual guiding; he assumes it's because his brother Omega is beyond being a willing sacrifice. It's almost as if Jared has been waiting for this very moment of release. “There are a few things coming back to me about this.”

Both men shift down to Jared's lower body. Milo pulls on Jared's right leg; the limb is pliable and bends at will to spread out from the body. Jensen pets down the dark-haired left thigh, then does the same maneuver, watching as the limb does exactly the same move without fail. It helps Milo clean the insides of the thighs better, but he doesn't dare touch the perineum or the bottom of the crease of the backside. The towel draped over Jared's upper thighs still remains and shadows the area.

Jensen feels them entering another round of awkward silence, needing to fill it with light chatter. “That, uh...prayer was beautiful.” He blinks and looks over at Milo. “I've never heard that before, in the old language.”

Milo talks in a flow of words as he concentrates at watching for more lubricant, and possible an ovum or two, leaving the rectum to seep down the legs. “It's a blessing to say over the sacred womb, then on to the loins where the seeds flourish and gestate.” He motions in the air to the areas of Jared's body. “But I also threw in a smaller blessing to wash away the past...” This time he turns his gaze onto Jensen's keen green eyes. “...like erasing all sins, and to clear the body of toxins or harmful germs.” Milo shrugs nonchalantly because it's not a typical thing for some guides to do unless they know their patient well. “It's kind of a throwaway but good for the Omega—or any pack member who's had sexual difficulties or inadequacies.” He takes another moment or two to wipe down Jared's inner thighs, then over the perineum and bottom as he notices that Jared has calmed down to a certain point. “Get him to turn over.”

Jensen nods his head, twisting to return to the area where Jared rests his head. He bends over to invade Jared's personal space, his hand brushing back the long bangs, eyes trying to catch the half-lidded hazel ones wanting to close. “ _hey, Jay..._ ” He rubs the back of his hand over the left cheek as the head tries to avoid connection and shifts on the pillow.

“...huh?” It's the touch to Jared's upper chest, over his heart, that causes him to swish his whole head around, trying to pry his lids open for good while as he looks up into wide green eyes—the familiar ones of his Alpha. He smiles weakly, his head now tilting toward Jensen.

Jensen moves his hand to press a palm over Jared's forehead to keep him steady so he can be heard. “We need you to lay on your stomach.”

“ _—'kay..._ ” Jared yawns, stretches as if he's just woken and flips, making sure to “tuck” himself in properly as he rolls and huddles into himself.

The towel that had once covered the nakedness falls to the floor in a heap; Milo kicks it out-of-the-way. Someone will pick it up later. Milo does another quick swipe over the bare ass to get rid of excess that he hadn't been able to catch before, then dries with the hand towel.

“What do you do now?” Jensen notices that Jared might be slipping off into slumber if they don't do something quickly.

Milo lifts an index finger in the air. “Same as I did for the front, but this time, you'll be able to see his contractions quite easily.” He presses lightly on the rounded ass, showing Jensen that the mounds react involuntary, separate from Jared's own concentration. “He'll clench each cheek in, maybe both at the same time.” Milo raises an eyebrow as he caressing over the bare skin to start familiarizing his touch to his brother Omega so he doesn't startle him. “If you want, I can also show you what his hole looks like in the throes of an inner orgasm.” He wants Jensen to know how lucky he is to have found an Omega like Jared. “Normally, an Omega isn't this free with their body, especially in the nude.”

Jensen is quite aware he has a rare Omega in his midst. “yeah, Jared has _no_ inhibitions.” He slices his hand in the air as he laughs heartily, pointing to himself. “I'm the one who's shy and blushes.” Of course he does the very action he mentions because Jared is neither of these things and Jensen feels secondhand bashfulness for his Omega.

Milo stops for a minute, smirking. “That's quite a shift in dynamics. Almost like Adrian and I.”

“I really don't mind. I've always been attracted to Omegas.” Jensen glances between Jared and Milo. “Jared's no different, but he _is_ different.” He wrinkles his brow as the words he just uttered made him pause. “Was that as confusing as it sounded?”

“I understood.” Milo chuckles as he shrugs one shoulder. “Not confusing in the least. He's a great guy...” He pets up the line of the curved spine then settles his palm against the huge shoulder blade. His voice softens as he looks down at his brother Omega. “...an _awesome_ brother and a _true_ friend.” Milo is still reeling from how he treated Jared prior to his collapse.

“He still is, Mi'o.” Jensen reaches across the way to grab onto Milo's wrist. Earlier, he had only been working on an assumption, now he knows for sure this is how Jared feels. “You didn't piss him off or anger him, like you thought.”

“I know.” Milo squeezes Jensen's fingers then quickly releases them. “I just...I _hate_ myself for how I left it.” He shakes his head at how stupid and stubborn he had been. “That's not like me. Not with Jared.” Milo ends his comment by suddenly going into the chanting, levitating his hands over Jared's lower back and the lumbar region.

Jensen pours oil into one hand, rubbing palms together, then plants himself at the head of the table so he can do a dual massage of Jared's back, starting at the broad shoulders, as Milo does the spiritual guiding at the same time.

Jared begins to make guttural sounds, his body moving in a wave-like formation at the sensations flowing through, but mostly because Jensen, his Alpha, is touching him, caressing him.

Milo is finishing up the blessing and—again—the muscles in the backside have begun to indent and clench; the Omega ' _guiding_ ' shakes his head, amazed that his brother Omega is able to release another internal orgasm. The control and the all-or-nothing sense of vulnerability on display is flooring Milo. He hurriedly moves backward, but this time he waves Jensen over. Milo is no longer going to touch or caress Jared; he's not even going to make one single sound. It's starting to come to a point where Omega will need his Alpha and Milo is not going to be relevant.

“I want you to take over at this point.” Milo gets Jensen to return to stand on his side of the table. “It's moot that I'm here. He wants _you_. He's gonna need _you_.”

Jensen knows Milo isn't leaving the room, but not having him there to guide makes him a little fearful he'll flub something and ruin Jared's perfect moment. “Is he coming again?”

“ _yes..._ ” Milo can't recall a moment like this in his past, so this situation is new to him as well. “He's—I've never seen anything like it, but that's not saying much as I haven't done this since I was 17.” He tries to give Jensen a reassuring smile that he'll still be here but in the background. It's time for the Alpha to step up and take his rightful place.

“I wouldn't know.” Jensen smiles back with a bit of nervousness displayed. He puts his arms out, hands over Jared's naked back, palms down as he demonstrates how willing he is to be told what to do. “Show me what to do for him.”

“Okay, uh...” Milo ventures back to the table, his hands on top of Jensen's as he slowly lowers them to the exact area on Jared's body. “...put your hands here, sculpt back with both hands, running your thumbs down his spine.” He makes each motion in the air as his lead Alpha's hands lay still on Jared's back, then starts to shift his body to show how his brother Omega may respond. “He'll move, more than likely, not adjust, but try to change positions...like his side or even lay on his back. He's gonna want to brush against you— _don't be frightened_.” Milo’s bit a more encouraged as Jensen nods his head, looking at him intently as if he's soaking up every piece of information. “It's Omega instinct. He scents you, feels you near, so his body will bend toward you.”

Jensen massages down Jared's back and, just as Milo said, Jared wakes to face-plant into the pillow, curling into himself as he draws his left leg up and turns to his right side; he's sidling backward to butt up against Jensen's body. Right at the waistband and top of the denim-covered zipper.

Green eyes move to catch wide inky black across the way. “What now?”

Milo wants to watch Jared re-act to Jensen's ministrations, but has to keep on guiding for a little longer. “uhm, you want to comfort— _soothe him_.” Though he's stepped away from the table, he does walk down to Jared's lower body to gesture in the air what Jensen should do. “If you're not easily disgusted, take your palm and cup his bottom. Play along the crease and let him guide you.” Milo crosses his arms loosely over his chest, only able to rest them above his protruding belly. “If he's in need of you, he'll invite you into his body. Jared's not shy, so I'm sure you'll know right away. Some Omegas like to tease.”

“Should I be...” As he stands at the mid-section, massaging over the lower back, almost to the high curves of the bottom, Jensen points to Jared's upper body. “I feel like I should be reinforcing the touch. If I'm down _here_ , can I be up _there_...touching, kissing or, uh... _whatever_.”

Milo smiles out of the side of his mouth, his gaze narrowing as he closely watches Jensen’s entire reaction to everything happening. “Instinct, Jen. Do what you feel Jared would want. Usually it'll be whatever you like.”

“ _yeah...figured that._ ” Jensen is a little self-conscious about displaying his feelings so openly with Milo here, but he has some idea the Omega knows how to keep a secret and protect privacy. He twists to head up to the top of the table, and just like what Jared had done for him, Jensen tucks his arm beneath the neck, cradling his Omega into his body as he palms the widening crease.

Milo is flabbergasted by the step Jensen has taken—which is an advanced move most never know about—in cradling Jared's naked, writhing frame to his half-clothed body. He keeps his distance, even though he should continue touching Jared, sharing his own energy. He can't, not with the beautiful sight before him of watching an Omega surrender to his Alpha, and an Alpha willingly accepting his Omega.

Jensen continues to soothe over the mounds, while nuzzling the neck and hair. Jared finally arches back, lifting his head and face as he draws his left leg up even further, almost flattening the limb to the table. Jensen feels the wetness before he caresses the puckered skin, but at an influx of muscle control, the anus opens and he slides inside. He groans along with Jared's muffled cry, feeling the tight grip on his finger and hand. “ _...m'here, Jay... i's me..._ ” His middle finger touches molten lava and is being squeezed of all feeling. “ _...ease up-ease up, Jay, or you'll break my finger..._ ”

They share a soft laugh as Jared lets go, but still moves.

“sorry, _love_...” Jared shifts his head around to look up at Jensen with such affection and deep love.

“...don' apologize.” Jensen clears his throat, not sure he could take another round of that earnest glow of emotion about his Omega's face. It's difficult for him to swallow and focus. “...how's it feel?”

“ _...mmm—good...so good._ ” Jared looks over his shoulder, then down his own body. “ _...you're inside me._ ” He sounds both shocked and touched by the very idea even though he's moving against the finger.

“I am.”Jensen smiles and winks, though he still manages to blush. “You feel— _incredible_...” He leans his head against Jared's face, trying to even out his own breathing. “I think you're right, I won't last through the first knot.”

Jared keeps constantly moving against Jensen, then thrusts down on the single digit filling him. “ _...gimme more...I wan' more of you inside me._ ” He reaches back with his left arm to almost grapple for the skin on Jensen's chest; his fingernails don't leave scratches but they do softly mar the pale hue of the flesh to a dark red.

At this exact moment, Jensen doesn't care who is in the room or who hears him. “...how many do you think you can take?” He's feeling every bit the Alpha wolf that's in him to be, and he wants to please his Omega in every way he wishes.

“ _...three..._ ” Jared smiles at Jensen's stuttering breathes. “I saw how big you get, Alpha.” The arm is now used to barricade Jensen, to keep him away in a playful manner, like he doesn't want to give in quite yet until he gets what he needs. “Always a firm believer in ' _practice makes perfect_ '.”

At this point, Jensen doesn't really care if Milo is here or he wants to invite Chad and whomever else is home now. He's scenting Jared's arousal and feeling _it_ , literally, moisten and sear his flesh. He tentatively adds the second digit, and right away he knows it's not going to be enough. But he owes his Omega for the gentleness and respect he was shown last night. Jared's body is gyrating faster than Jensen's hand can move; once he graduates to three, the motions slow and Jared is turning fully toward Jensen, like he wants to burrow within his chest.

“ _...I got you, Jay...m'not lettin' you go..._ ” Jensen feels Jared have to arc his back so he stands a little more upright so his Omega can allow his body to release its pleasure. As he nips and kisses Jared's perspiring brow, he notices that the cock is hardening, but not fully erect; it's leaking pre-come as it jostles from side to side in the bed of dark curls. Jared squeezes his thighs together to trap Jensen's hand and then he starts moving in spastic jolts, trying to hang onto Jensen like he'll fall off the Earth. There's strangled cries stuck in Jared's throat, Jensen looks down into half-lidded hazel. “ _...come for me, Jay...let go for me..._ ”

As if that simple permission granted does the trick, Jared is releasing a full-on anal orgasm, riding out each wave of sensation quite violently. His head cranes so far backward, he's almost off the table ledge. He feels fingers still filling him; he knows he's oozed lubrication laced with ovum to an intense level. Jared has nearly drenched Jensen's whole hand to the wrist.

Jensen keeps his fingers in place, but also his arm because he wants to keep holding Jared as he comes down from his high. There's still a slight quiver to Jared's body; he's sensitized in certain places. Jensen waits for Jared to open his eyes and look at him, but first Jared has to slide his head back onto the table.

When he finally glances up at Jensen, Jared reaches up, with only his right hand, and cups the stubbled cheek. He plays his thumb along that bowed bottom lip, then they both lean in to kiss hard and succinctly, merging foreheads once they tear apart their mouths. They heavily breathe, then awkwardly laugh as Jared reaches between his thighs and feels Jensen's wrist.

“ _...good god..._ ” Jared closes his lids in silent shame at his slutty Omega ways. “...are you thoroughly disgusted and turned off?”

“No, not in the least.” Jensen presses a soft peck to Jared's face. “ _It_ was beautiful...you were—” It's tough to find words to describe what he just witnessed. “I need a wider vocabulary to describe you.” Jensen bends in to nuzzle the side of Jared's head.

Jared dries off fingers before he touches Jensen's face again. “...jus' havin' you look at me like that is good enough.” He crosses arms loosely over his chest. “You can pull out each at a time, but pause before you do. I'm wide open, but still sensitive.” Even as each digit is taken away, Jared still rolls his body at the sensation left behind by the absence. “ _mmm...god..._ ” He trails fingers over Jensen's chest, blinking slow. “I'm looking forward to that warm soak, then another nap.”

Milo pushes off the dresser he's been leaning on to bring the bowl of water over with another pre-moistened cloth; they must be lukewarm at best. He hands one to Jensen, for his hand, reaching out to give Jared his own. Except Jensen starts using his own cloth to clean Jared, taking the second one as a spare.

Once Jared lets go of Jensen, he shifts down a little to situate himself at the spot where Milo had cleaned Jared before. This time, Jared is awake, and hyper-aware, of his Alpha, so his legs part naturally. The inner thighs are cleaned first, each limb being lifted off the cushion to be wiped underneath. Jared clears his throat, then bends his right leg at the knee as he fans the limb outward, opening the apex of his legs for his Alpha's perusal. Jared arcs and drapes both arms over his head, willing to give his body over to the delicate washing; next to be cleaned are his perineum, the bottom of the crease of his bottom and over his anus. With a slight tap to his backside, Jared flips over to offer out his entire bottom so that the skin can be wiped down as well; he hides his face away in the pillow to hush his need to giggle at the tickling sensation. As he completes the entire round of a cloth bath, Jensen hands off the dirty material into Milo's hand. With the clean cloth, he does a deeper cleaning, making sure he's gotten every last smudge and smear of liquid, even around the pelvic area where the cock had leaked pre-come.

It's an unbelievably intimate cleansing that Milo has to keep turning away from staring directly at, but he continues to hand Jensen whatever he needs. What stuns Milo is witnessing his lead Alpha worship his brother Omega's blissed-out naked body. He knows it's exactly how he and Adrian must look, but he's never seen it from this point-of-view and participated as a “guide”.

“ _...Mi'o..._ ”

Milo glances over, thinking it had been Jensen who called him, but it had been Jared. And immediately, when black eyes widen to meet hazel, the water-works begin. “ _...ohfuck!..._ ” He attempts to cover his eyes fast, but doesn't expect Jared to have strength enough to rise to his elbow and drag him over. Milo plops down hard on the table's cushions.

“ _nononono..._ don't do this, Mi'o.. _.please..._ ” Too late. Jared's eyes go misty as he shifts to curve around his brother Omega's body. “Stop torturing yourself for my sake. I's a wonderful ' _gift_ ' you've given me...an' Jen, without a care. You haven't done this since...well, technically since Chad, but I'm sure that was rushed and you felt inadequate.” Now that he truly is coming fully awake he recognizes what Milo has on and makes a happy sound, like a squeal. “Mi'o...you wore your ceremonial gown for me.” Jared kisses the round of the shoulder joint, then leans upward to the side of the face. “No other brother knows he's loved more than I do.” He tries to wrap Milo up in both of his arms to drag him down to lay with him.

Jensen has begun to take over the clean-up of the bedroom as he feels a bit emotional for the two Omegas. Now that he sees the open intimacy they share, it's easier to understand how deeply they love and share affection between them. And it's also clear why when one feels negative energy [ _like a human_ ] the other counter-balances with a calm and level head.  
As the two men playfully struggle on the table—Jared being mushy and wanting to snuggle with Milo and Milo just unable to lower himself to Jared's level in front of his lead Alpha—Jensen leaves the bedroom to start drawing the water in the tub for his Omega's bath.

Milo swats Jared— _hard_. There's even a loud _snap_ noise that echoes.

“ ** _ow! Wha's that for?!_** ” Jared soothes over his bare skin that starts to redden.

“Why didn't you tell me you already ' _hooked up_ ' with Jensen?” Milo folds his arms and twists away in mock-irritation. “Here I am, utterly oblivious.” He side-eyes his brother Omega, catching that sly, sneaky smirk. He shakes his head as he bends low to Jared. “ _jesus, man..._ that shit between you two— _fuckme..._ was seriously hot-like-melted-butter.”

Jared can't help but smirk with some pride; he doesn't want to boast, but he'll preen for a while. “It's because of my issues an' me not sure I'd be the Omega he needs—we did this mating courtship backwards.” He shrugs weakly, letting his head lop to the side over his right shoulder as he braces on his right elbow and forearm. “It's worked so far, but neither of us knew how perfectly mated we'd be. The draw we'd have to the other once we become closer.”

“ _christ, man,_ I've never seen Jensen in this light.” Milo peeks over at the bathroom door, not seeing Jensen; he keeps his voice low and private. “I always pegged him as kinda weakened under other pack members, but...I don't know, bro...” He's still stunned by how Jensen looked in full command and control as Jared made himself completely open and vulnerable. “I was able to see an ' _Alpha_ ' in him I can certainly respect. If he can bring my brother Omega to ecstasy like that in bed _...holy christ..._ ” Milo wasn't as jealous as he sounded, but he was envious to an extent.

“ _mmm..._ ” Jared leans far back to land on the table again as he shifts his body around this way and that way. “I feel incredible, kind of indescribable...” He motions his hand around the area of his upper chest and throat, like he's trying to say how choked with too many words he has become. “Both of you came through for me like I never imagined.” Jared looks up at the ceiling as he smiles secretly to himself, blinking slowly

“bro...Jen _cradled_ you...” Milo whispers this shocker into Jared's ear. “Like a mother Omega does to her 'pup'...” He softly jostles Jared's body. “Tha's shit you almost _never_ see an Alpha do.” He knows Adrian has never done it for him, but now wishes he had been showing Adrian his spiritual guiding abilities all this time they had been mated, if only to get the same results as Jared had gotten from Jensen.

Jared bends his right arm, his balled hand gently pounding on Milo's thigh. “My Alpha's a quick learner an' a firm believer of treating me as I treat him.”

“You taught him _that_?” This amazes Milo even more, because Jared and Jensen hadn't been in their own mating ritual for very long.

“yeah...” Jared rubs over his chin then slides up his face to swipe over his tired eyes. “...but I never thought he'd use it _this_ soon.”

Milo plops both feet back down to the floor, holding out his hand to Jared. “Le's sit you up, stud, then we'll see how your sea legs are.”

Jared only rolls his head toward Milo at his side, his whole body remaining stiff. “Eh, I can tell you now, I won't need to be carried, but I _will_ need someone's shoulder.”

“I think Jensen will do fine.” Milo mutters out the comment, not suspecting Jensen would make a sudden appearance right at that moment.

Jensen hears his name, looking at Jared still laying flat to the table. “huh?”

Milo lifts his chin high, looking toward Jensen approaching them as Jared begins to ease to sitting upright. “Jared's gonna need your shoulder to help walk him to the bathroom.”

Jensen shuts the drawer on the body oil bottles he has stored away. He never gives a second glance to the **Omegalight** —pretty sure he has a better Omega hole to look forward to knotting. He's by Jared's side, securing an arm about the broad shoulders before he helps Jared slide to the floor, testing his bare feet.

Milo wants Jared to have some dignity so he wraps the large towel around Jared's waist again. “I'll meet you guys in there. I'm gonna finish up out here.”

“Don't even attempt to lift that table.” Jensen shakes a parental index finger in Milo's face. “Just leave it alone, an' I'll undo it to fold away.”

“Okay.” Milo isn't in the mood to argue. He does fold away the draw sheet to pile with the other dirty laundry, then he puts the ottoman back with the chair. As he hears splashing and shared laughter, he can't help smiling as he takes off his Omega Circle gown. He could be a total prude and immerse in the water in full regalia, but muslin is tough to clean. He's self-conscious about his bare chest and protruding belly, but he can almost guarantee that neither Jared nor Jensen will care what he looks like. He does keep his briefs on, no way will he go _completely_ naked—that was for the mated couple.

Milo strolls into the bathroom to watch Jared squat and float in the middle of the massive tub as he witnesses Jensen takes a seat on the underwater ledge.

“Want me back to your front?” Jared swiftly spins to show his back, but then twists to face forward again.

“However you want to lay, Jay...” Jensen stretches his legs out, reaching backward to hook his arms around the porcelain ledge of the tub. “...I'll agree to.”

“If tha's the case, then...put your leg— _this one_...” Under the water, Jared takes the leg in hand and shows how he wants the limb to be. “I wanna lay on your chest, but lower, so that my head's on your left shoulder.” He turns to Milo seated on the porcelain rim, waiting to drop into the water. “Tha's a good position, right?” Jared scratches at the side of his nose as if to stem a sneeze.

Milo shrugs one shoulder, then the other as he swirls his calves and feet in the heated sudsy water. “If you wanna feel him against your groin, rather than your bottom.”

“Bottom's a bit sore.” Jared soothes the body part in question as he peers at his Alpha. “I like the chest-to-chest position, but laying over his thighs—like I could float above him.” He starts to move as Milo climbs in to sit on the other side; Milo watches intently until Jared settles himself over Jensen's left, nestled again the bare chest. Jensen's leg shifts and locks between Jared's thighs, and Jared feels Jensen's semi-erect cock at his right ass cheek. “ _yeah..._ ” He pats a wet hand over the middle of Jensen's upper chest, then drops below the water-line. “I like this one 'cuz I can hear an' feel his heart.” Jared is still holding a conversation with Milo.

Jensen glances at Milo and rolls his eyes, which makes the Omega smile wide. “Tha's not my heart your hand is on... ** _ow-ch!_** ” He gets a proper tug of a nipple for that crack.

Milo floats over to kneel in the center. He can't get over what a striking couple Jared and Jensen make. In his fantasy, he had pushed them together simply because they were both unattached and ripe for mating. Looking at them with Jared's hulking frame cradled in Jensen's arms, they look as if they've been together for years—like they had been made for one another.

“Jared'll probably fall asleep through half of this, but I'll still give the spiel.” Milo can't help but smile wide as he talks. “Show you what you can do to make him contented, and comfortable.”

“Don't worry...” Jensen swipes at the water droplets on Jared's face, brushing back wet hair. “...as long as he doesn't butt in to correct you, I'm willing to be the student here.” He loves that Jared had dunked his head prior to fitting himself in his arms, and now he can see every gorgeous feature.

“Won't hear a peep outta me.” Jared closes his eyes in bliss, a permanent smile etched on his face. “I'm gonna enjoy my well-deserved soak in my Alpha's arms.” He says the words easily and honestly, not a care if he's admitted a truth they still hadn't talk about with Milo.

Jensen glances at Milo, giving him a weak grin. “He found out all to soon how I like catering to my Omega's whims.”

“Nothing wrong with that.” Milo smirks with a twinge of jealousy, missing his own Alpha.

“Problem is...”Jensen swipes at another droplet at Jared's temple. “...my Omega does more for others than he does for himself. It's tough to keep up.”

Jared looks at green eyes peering down at him. “That'll change often enough where it'll equal out.” He shifts around to lay his cheek on Jensen's shoulder and upper left breast. “It's much different to guide for _several_ packs than to just be lead Alpha's Omega for _one_ pack.”

Milo reaches out to pet Jared's matted hair away from his brow. “You still wanna guide or quit?”

Jared is silent. “I won't guide once I'm carrying.” He tucks an arm over his stomach. “It's not fair for my pack or Jensen...even the 'pup'.” Jared clears his throat, fidgeting to cuddle closer. “I need to preserve all my energy for my own life an' the life I'll carry...not others.”

Jensen adjusts to hold Jared tighter to his frame. He picks Jared's hand up, toying with the fingers. “Thank you.” Jensen kisses them with some graciousness and deep respect to know that Jared cares so unselfishly. “I know I don't have to demand it of you, so I'm glad it's a priority already.”

“I'll see what they offer me.” Jared pushes his brow against Jensen's neck, he dances his fingertips over the bare skin of the collar and right shoulder. “A sabbatical or a, uh...temporary discharge until the 'pup' is sufficiently weened. If not, I'll certainly turn in my resignation.”

Milo snaps his head up to look directly at Jensen with a frown, but Jensen shakes his head—he doesn't want to discuss a heavy subject when they seem to be losing Jared to slumber. Milo is a little stunned Jared won't give up his career once he's mated and becoming a 'mother'. It's not natural. “Tha's good...what you were doing.” He turns his attention to Jensen. “Keep touching, reassuring him you're here...an' he's safe.”

Jared yawns and turns deeper into Jensen's body. After a few minutes of quiet and soft splashes, it's clear Jared is asleep or just hitting the cusp of unconsciousness.

Milo cups the top of Jared's head. “He's so god-damn peaceful when he sleeps. Don' like waking him.” He notices Jensen adjusting again. “Is he too heavy?”

“No. Muscle cramp. Need to wiggle my fingers and flex.” Jensen stares down into Jared's slumbering features. “He's fine.”

Milo stares at Jensen since his lead Alpha can't seem to tear his gaze away from Jared. “This isn't like you thought it would be, huh?”

Jensen darts his eyes quickly to Milo, then lowers them again. “What do you mean?”

“Your Omega.” Milo gestures to his brother Omega. “The one you decided to spend a lifetime with. You were actually willing to ' _settle_ ', weren't you?” It's going to take him a while but the more he gets to know Jensen, the better he'll come to understand how he “ticks”.

“Well, not wanting my father to pick for me, I knew I wouldn't have it easy.” Jensen leans his head on Jared's brow and hairline. He blinks slow and deliberate, finally lifting his gaze to look at Milo. “I've always been free to do my own thing. Still, though, I do feel obligated to some extent to fulfill my Ackles family duties as a son. I just want to do it _my_ way.” Jensen presses his lips to the moist skin but doesn't purse them to kiss. “When I couldn't find a compatible Beta and Omega, I just focused on Omegas. I get along better with them, but I could never find that ' _one_ ' that would compliment me in _every_ way—be my partner-in-crime.”

Milo nods his head, letting the information sink in. “Then you dropped that idea altogether?”

“Pretty much.” Jensen moves his leg, letting Jared's lower limbs bend and float up so he can _truly_ cradle Jared across his lap. He hugs Jared to his chest, leaning his head on the dark brown hair. “I just always knew I'd only need to mate once, and with an Omega, but that he'd have to be unmatched with all others.”

“... _jesus_ , you just described Jared.” Milo mutters with a soft snicker.

“ _yeah..._ ” Jensen is no longer shy about how hard or intensely he stares at Jared. “ _..._ he's pretty fuckin' amazing.”

Milo smiles wide as he inches closer to Jared and happens to come upon Jensen's left leg, so he respects its position, getting out-of-the-way. “...an' you love him...”

“huh?” Jensen whips his head around to directly look at Milo.

Milo is stunned that Jensen could be confused by his wording. “I just spent an incredible hour with you two an' it's so damn clear to me that you genuinely love him—Jared.” He reaches out a hand to gently touch Jared's floating biceps.

Jensen smiles, blushes and then closes his eyes. “I do _...yeah, I do..._ ” He seems to embrace Jared tighter as if to gain strength from his Omega.

Milo reaches out to caress Jensen's face. “Trust me, he feels the same even though he has a tough time saying the words.” He drops his hand, narrowing his gaze on his lead Alpha. “He wouldn't be doing all this to himself if he didn't feel something. He's not the kind of Omega who bows down to his Alpha and does his bidding to fulfill a duty.”

“I know.” Jensen bows his head, having picked up Jared's hand that had fallen underwater; the other arm is pinned between their joined bodies. “I just need him to know he's safe here...” He stares at the hand, looking at the beautiful nailbeds and the elongated shapes of fingers to then place the palm to his chest. “...safe enough to finally admit he _does_ love me.”

“You're giving him a pack, Jen, something he's wanted since... _god_ , since I fuckin' met him.” Milo gently shoves at Jensen as if he should've known this already. “You've given him back his ability to be an Omega proper.” He doesn't think he has to remind Jensen what just happened back in the bedroom. “And now you've allowed him into your heart and mind...even your body...tha's huge for Jared...huger than the pack-thing.” Milo drops his own gaze, his voice growing soft. “Pretty soon, you'll give him yet another dream of his he only thought fantastical—a 'pup'.” He looks up to catch Jensen's gaze and watch the wide smile spread over the handsome features. “You're like Santa, Valentine’s, every anniversary and his Birthday all rolled into one.”

Jensen deeply chuckles with the shake of his head. He clears his throat as he momentarily peeks at Jared to then lower his tone and say, “...a while back, you wanted to say something about his career as a guide. What exactly is going on there?”

Milo shakes his head, sighing heavily. “Well, I had thought if he had everything he ever wanted in life, he would _finally_ quit.” He shrugs his shoulders, unsure of how to get Jared to let go of the incessant need to work for the spiritual center as their top guide. “But I guess he's still holding out hope of finding her...”

“ _Her? Who—_ ** _her_** _?_ ” Jensen furrows his brow in confusion, and mild curiosity.

Milo thinks he may have stepped over a boundary he shouldn't have, so he is hesitant when he speaks, “He's told you about his mother Omega?”

“uh, yeah...once or twice.” Jensen shrugs the shoulder Jared isn't laying on. It's never been something he's paid too much attention to, exept to realize it's a touchy topic for Jared. “Second time he told me a little more, but he always changes the subject.”

Milo nods his head, then lifts his chin as he peers at his brother Omega. “He probably told you enough so you'd think you knew everything.”

“I didn't want to push.” Jensen darts his eyes to Jared but then stares directly at Milo. “It seems to be a real sensitive subject with him.”

“It is, for a reason.” Milo floats over to the side of the tub, where the steps are, and hooks an arm along the tub ledge. “Normally, I would never overstep this type of line, but I really don't think he's aware he's been doing it all this time.”

“ _It? What?_ ”

“Staying a spiritual guide.” Milo understands why Jared hasn't said a word of this to Jensen; his brother Omega is, and isn't, aware he does it because he’s always assumed he’s let the “idea” of her go. “It's why he won't ever leave.”

“Why?” Jensen frowns, a deep crease down the center of his forehead a she lifts an eyebrow.

“Two things...” Milo holds up two fingers above the water. “He feels enormous guilt for assuming the worst of her after she left...” He's counting off each number on each finger. “...and second, I think, in a very small way, he keeps trying to ' _find_ ' her. Every pack family he goes into, he hopes he'll accidentally bump into her...leaving it all up to Fate—chance.” If it were anyone else, Milo knows he'd be laughed at, but he sees the comprehension spread over Jensen's face.

“ _jesus..._ ” Jensen shuts his lids, arcing his head back as he clears his throat as if he's feeling emotional at the very idea of what Jared's been doing to himself all these years.

Milo nods his head, staring at a spot over Jensen's shoulder as he goes on to explain, “He's punishing himself by never leaving and using a skill-set she taught him before he honed his abilities. He's convinced himself that staying a guide will suddenly bring her back into his life again.” He rolls his hands over and over in the air. “One perpetuates the other in this vicious cycle; he'll never stop doing either.” Milo puts the hand over his own chest, then rests the arm at the top curve of his stomach. “In my heart, I truly believe it's his greatest wish to see her again.”

At those very words, Jensen almost chokes. “ _...god-damn..._ ” He readjusts Jared in his arms to cradle the dark head over his biceps and forearm. “...no wonder he won't tell me when I ask.”

“huh?” It's time for Milo to be confused.

Jensen shakes his head with a sweet, shy smile over his lips as he gazes at Jared. “Something silly we did one night—an exchange of our deepest, darkest wishes. I told him mine, but he wouldn't tell me his.”

“I'm sure he feels he's alone in this, but...I have this terrible feeling he's only heading for imminent heartbreak. Like she's disappeared for a reason, not wanting to see any of her litter again or, worse...” Milo shakes his head in sadness, hoping Jensen is listening closely. “...that she's dead.”

“ _christ..._ ” Jensen caresses a hand over Jared's brow and down his cheek; he cups the side of the face. “Why does he feel he has to be alone to go through everything?” He glances at Milo with a lift to an eyebrow, curious to why Jared won't ask for help. “There are so many ways now that we can track her.”

Milo smiles with some reassurance that Jensen's ready and willing to do whatever he can for Jared. “Sounds like your mind's already at work.”

“Do we know much about her past to even start?” Jensen rest his face on Jared's head.

“man, I'm not even sure if he has a name— _a full name_.” As Milo shapes a hand over his belly to soothe his “pup”, he reaches back to lock his elbows on the ledge. “Or if he knows the old pack she went back to.” He tilts his head to the right to look over at Jensen. “More than likely, you'll get further if you talk to his parents.”

“ _ungh..._ ” Jensen rubs fingers of his left hand up and down the slope of his nose, then over his forehead. “...not a conversation I'm looking forward to having.” He has a hard enough time confronting his own issues with his father Alpha, who knows how he'd handle Jared's issues with his own parents. “I'd like to show them a thing or two about how to be _real_ parents to their 'pups'.”

Milo smiles secretly to himself, then lifts his head to say, “New-Freedomers are a strange brew. They feel rather closed off and stuck in solitude.” He notices how rapt Jensen's attention is on his every word. “They rely heavily on their church and other older pack members who act as mentors. I say ' _pack members_ ' in a different sense as the lone family is one single pack under a conglomerate group of other single packs like them.”

“So they're heavily influenced?” Jensen thinks he understands what Milo means to say.

“oh, big time. Won't make a move without consulting others or waiting for their church mentor to hand out sage advice.” Milo frowns with some concern. “Why do you ask?”

“Clearing Jared's pack record.” Jensen hasn't talked about this with anyone but Sophia, so it feels a bit strange to open up to Milo. “I'm pretty sure he was coerced into a lot of these decisions. Especially since the adults around him abandoned him when they're supposed to take care of him.” He glances at his Omega with a bit of sorrow to his eyes.

Milo nods his head in agreement, pleased that he has another person on his side to help Jared. “yeah, Jared has a few strange inexplicable years where he needed his own guidance. The only ones he could rely on kept hiding him until they could get rid of him.”

Jensen shakes his head, feeling his body grow tense and frustrated the more he thought about Jared's past. “Still pisses me off, but I can't blame any of it on Jared.”

“I should've kept better tabs on him.” Milo's never told this to anyone, not even Adrian. “I had considered bringing him with me, as a packaged deal, but...Adrian and I were just starting out.” He sighs with a sudden drop of his chin to chest in shame. “I'm not exactly sure if I could've taken better care of him. That young of a 'cub' in the middle of a newly mated couple?”

“Stop, Mi'o.” Jensen holds out a hand to get Milo to quit shaming himself for things he can't undo. “You did what you thought best, and you had trust in your old pack.”

“My old pack— _yes_.” Milo nods his head, then begins to frown as he shakes his head for the emphasis on his next comment. “My lead Alpha of my old pack— _no_.”

Jensen smirks with a quiet laugh. “yeah, I think I got the gist of that with what you told me about you and Adrian.”

“ _god..._ ” Milo quickly covers his face with both hands in embarrassment. “...you actually _listened_ to me prattle on— ramblin' nonsense.” He's stunned that Jensen's focus at the time could have been split so perfectly, and he still retained the information.

“I did.” Jensen nods his head as he winks over at Milo with a tender grin. “You can tell me—or Jared— _anything_ and it will never leave private conversation.” He stresses that last sentence to hold true.

Milo starts itching at his scalp, feeling unsettled, like he has to keep explaining why he and Adrian had let a different story fulfill their “how we met and mated” tale. “We didn't lie on purpose, our real story is too outlandish to believe.” He lifts his chin in a weird sense of knowing who's to blame and where to place it. “I think it's mostly 'cuz Adrian doesn't want the pack to know how awful I was to bring out during mating season.”

“No. I'm not sure that's it.” Jensen shakes his head as he wholeheartedly disagrees. “At least that wouldn't be it, if I were in his shoes.”

Milo wrinkles his forehead in bewilderment. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I know with me, concerning Jared...” Jensen moves his left hand from his chest to Jared's body. “...anything ** _I_** would find out about **_him_** is sacred and protected between us.” He shakes his head as if he's telling Milo that no-way-no-how is anyone getting him to tell Jared's secrets. “It's ours alone and no one else's. He's my mate and we deal with our own shit together, unless it _directly_ harms the pack.” Jensen gestures toward Milo as if to offer the same thought to he and Adrian. “Those are _your_ memories—you and Adrian's, not the whole pack's.”

Milo hangs his head, taking a hard swallow. “I've always been able to count on Adrian to be there for me. Even when I'm at my most vulnerable.” He shakes his head at how subtly Jared has worked his “magic” on his own Alpha. “ _...damn..._ ”

“ _What?_ ” Jensen is curious to why Milo is so humble.

Milo reaches out to comb back Jared's hair, caressing the backs of fingers over the brow. “Even when he's dead to the world, he's got you as some serious heavy duty back-up.” He tilts his head to narrow his gaze on his lead Alpha. “Did he tell you what we almost fought about?”

“No.” Jensen smiles as he shakes his head once. “He only let me know he wouldn't engage you to argue.”

“ _...dammit..._ ” Milo turns his head away as if he's upset with himself.

“What now?” Jensen chuckles as he widens his eyes, watching Milo place hands on his hips below the water as if he's about to stomp his foot.

“I'm just realizing how many deep dark secrets are buried in that thick skull of his.” Milo rubs a knuckle tenderly over a temple. “Not a single one ever leaks out. It's the number one rule of spiritual guiding...” He throws one hand up in the air as if he's given up being as professional a guide as his brother Omega has been for years. Clearly, he needs a refresher course. “...an' I just told you about Jared's mother Omega.”

“It's different.” Jensen shrugs a shoulder as if he thinks it's not important. “You're not being vindictive, you're being helpful.” He adjusts Jared to rest a little lower so the whole right side of the face rests against his upper body. “I think Jared would've told me on his own, but now that I _do_ know...maybe I can put out some contacts, get things rolling.” Jensen glances at Milo to reassure him he won't let it slip who told. “He won't know it was you, Mi'o.”

Milo stares hard, shaking his head at how much of an idiot he's been concerning Jared. “He _might_ , if you say anything about using the job as a penance or, uh...sticking around so he can one day randomly bump into her, or someone who may know of her.”

“He's _not_ going to know.” Jensen hardens his tone to let Milo know he can trust him, then gently gives Jared a bodily shake. “ _...jay...hey, jay..._ ” The body goes even more limp and a soft snore is expelled, tucking deeper into Jensen's niche of neck and shoulder. “ _...god..._ he is out for the count.”

Milo looks around, then down at the palms of his hands. “We should get him—and us—out of here before we prune. I, uhm...” Before he hefts himself up and over the lip of the tub, he twists to look at Jensen. “...I'll get him a change of clothes with underwear...or...” Since he's not the only one here to care for Jared, he leaves it up to Jensen to decide. “...should we just put him in those same elastic briefs—nothing else?”

“The latter is good.” Jensen is only thinking about his Omega's total comfort, and this thing he has about keeping everything less of a mess to have to clean later. He manages to float, while carrying Jared, to the same side Milo is climbing out of, then waits for Milo to dry off so he can swivel back around and offer a helping hand. “We should dry him off and attempt to get those briefs on without waking him.”

“Between you an' me, I hate those briefs.” Milo brackets a hand to one side of his mouth, like he's speaking only to Jensen as he lowers his voice. “ _...they sound like a baby's diaper._ ”

“ _...nooo..._ you don't say...” Jensen can't help but force himself to contain his want of bursting out laughing, simply because he and Jared had come up with that comical moment hours ago. He does smile at Milo, but, for the most part, just concentrates on doing more of the heavy lifting of Jared out of the tub so they can get him dried off and properly dressed how they want him.  


==&&==&&==  
 **TBC...**


	24. Chapter 24

Jensen had brought out his laptop to work on while he watched over Jared sleeping the rest of the late afternoon. While the house moved and shook like any typical day of the week, Jensen was pleased to waste the hours away with his sleepy, tuckered-out Omega.

The pains and aches were no longer agonizing or dull when Jensen could scent and feel Jared next to him. Every intimate moment bringing them closer was ridding them of that dangerous need for the other. Jensen was on high alert with Jared since his collapse and Milo didn't mind being errand boy for his lead Alpha; he was merely a phone text away. No one thought it weird that there was no sign of Jensen.

Jensen wasn't just glued to his laptop. He had put it aside once or twice to curl under the blankets whenever he heard Jared whimpering under his throat. Jensen didn't mind because he was able to catch up on his own sleep. He wasn't in his bed clothes, but a pair of softer blue jeans, a worn older t-shirt and Jared's extra-large chocolate hoodie, which was so damn comfortable and fluffy, with that incredible wool lining. He had taken it off a few times to not overheat.

But now Jensen is wide awake, laying propped on pillows above the blankets, his eyes focusing through his glasses as he works on a few Auto-CAD designs in his hard drive files. He never notices Jared waking to slip onto his back, the _crinkle-crackle_ of those briefs as he stretches and blinks eyes to un-haze from blurriness.

Jensen's bedside lamp is the only illumination from his half of the room, the other comes from the late evening glow from the vanishing sunlight.

Jared twists his head to stare up at Jensen, noticing those wire-frames sitting atop the slope of the nose. “...you need to stop looking so god-damn sexy, Ackles.”

Jensen gently shoves Jared when one of his Omegas feline stretches causes him to lay diagonally and bump their legs. “Stop...'m tryin' to make a _straight_ line.”

Jared pouts, fixing his legs and then flips to his front to crawl across the mattress at a low position so he can rest his head on Jensen's upper thigh. Hugging the whole limb to his body, he yawns wide as he speaks, “—have I been out long?”

“Hours.” Jensen slides his hand over the soft plait of dark brown strands, grabs a tuft of hair and scratches at the nape. “It's almost time for dinner.”

“mmm...” Jared closes his eyes, letting the feel of Jensen's light touch take over him as he tries to relax deeper into his Alpha's lap. “—'m not bein' a spoiled bitch, but I probably won't show to the table tonight.”

Jared being on his right thigh forces Jensen to move his laptop to his left leg as he bends and curls the limb flat. “Good. I'm putting you on bed-rest for the next few days, or until you feel...well, ' _human_ ', or as normal and human as we wolf packs can be.” He soothes across the broad bare shoulders, between the scrunched shoulder blades and slides up and down the line of the spinal column with a light scratch of his fingernails. “How do you feel—seriously?” Jensen peers down at Jared's head laying on his thigh; he admires the elongated shape of the naked back, up to the hem of the sheets and down to the shadowed backside beneath them. He takes off his glasses to fold the arms and reach over to set them on his nightstand.

“I'm great, actually.” Jared yawns again despite what he claims to feel. “I feel refreshed, but—don't know—I think I scared myself with that fall.” He stretches his right arm over Jensen's legs, curling his hand around to cup the left thigh. “I don't do that sort of damsel-in-distress bit.”

“You weren't the only one who was scared.” Jensen comments offhandedly, not sure he should bring up the fact of how concerned he had been; it's a moot point by now and doesn't need to be driven into his Omega's brain how much he _does_ care.

Jared moves his head backward to look into Jensen's face. “I know, _love_...m'sorry.” He lets his right hand start grappling at clothing as he slides up Jensen's body. He scents along the way and pauses as he recognizes his old hoodie. Jared's eyes mist as he turns to lay his right cheek flat, right arm tucking about his Alpha's waist.

Jensen settles the laptop off the side on the bed; he pets over, and through, the dark brown hair. “I liked being here with you— _like this_.” He wants to change the subject so badly after seeing Jared's eyes glaze over so quickly. Jensen leans close to say everything into an ear. “It's motivated me even more into considering quitting Ackles Family Furniture an' branching out on my own.”

“'oh, yeah?” Jared flips his face over because he can recognize scale furniture designs on the computer monitor. “Is that what you're working on?”

“No.” Jensen motions toward the screen to his left. “What I'm doing is designing new furniture pieces, actually. I'm thinking of doing a complete set—you know, like for a bedroom or a, uh, living or dining room.” He moves the mouse around with one finger. “...but _here_...is a very rough drawing of the backyard outside.”

Jared gets up to lean on his left elbow, rising off Jensen's body. “awww...look...you even mapped out the 'temple'.”

“Course I did.” As Jensen bends forward more, he turns to press a soft kiss to the injury on the brow; he skims his thumb over the tiny butterfly tape holding the cut closed. The arrow on-screen jostles around, but then he adds his fingers to make sure Jared can see what he's talking about. “Now, see how much room is left over, once I take out these four pine trees?”

“ _jesus_...” Jared had never realized how big of a backyard this house had. “...it's like half the size of a football field.”

“Just about.” Jensen doesn't use the mouse anymore, just his index finger. “I'll need two steel barns put up—here and there: one for my workshop, the other will be the display room, or more like the storage house where customers can peruse.”

Jared folds his right arm to rest his chin on, placing the limb on Jensen's upper thigh. “ahhh, tha's kind of cool.”

“Isn't it?” Jensen scrolls down further on the self-drawn map of his whole property, pointing out what else he plans on doing. “I can also branch off from the semi-circle driveway at _this_ point of the pavement, pave a back roadway so there's easier access for trucks and delivery vehicles.”

“ _god...y_ ou really have put some thought into this.” Jared can't help but dart his eyes over Jensen's face as he recognizes how the work makes his Alpha feel. “I'm excited for you.”

“Years in the making.” Jensen rolls his eyes on a heavy sigh as if he's toiled for too long over this idea. It used to feel like a goal, but lately he's been feeling more like it's could be an actual possibility. “Right before my father retired and put Josh and I in charge.”

“Will anyone be upset to lose you?”

“Only the customers, I think.” Jensen relaxes back against the pillows, crossing his arms over his chest. “There are plenty of other master carpenters working alongside me.” He shrugs one shoulder, making it seem like it won't matter to him at all. “It's not going to be a huge loss 'cuz those classic Ackles creations will still get made.”

Jared turns his head away as he moves with each word he says, “...but not the _Jensen Ackles_ ones.” He already sounds like he holds great pride in his Alpha's talents and skills.

“No.” Jensen deeply chuckles with a small smirk. “Like I said...only random loyal customers who know my work and trust in my abilities.” He glances down into Jared's silly grinning face. “oh, god...what now?”

“You're so modest.” Jared shakes his head at how innocent Jensen acts sometimes, like he isn't even aware of his own looks, nor how totally brilliant he is at what he loves to do. “You don't realize how absolutely breathtaking you are.” He sweeps his hand in the air down his Alpha's body. “Yet you have this confidence and conviction stemming from somewhere to find your own personal best. The last of it is to no longer have your career linked with your father or bother.”

Jensen dips his head, feeling quite modest. He doesn't like to talk about himself for too long; Jared's said enough about him. “Neither are bad men or terrible Alphas. They're just alike and it's... _scary_.” He sighs as he rubs at his left temple. “I thought I was free of Alan Ackles when he left, but no, Josh is—” Jensen isn't able to find the right words to describe his brother. “Josh can be as bad, but not worse.” He shakes his head as if a shiver rolls down his spine. “I can't see myself surviving _three_ decades with him over me...nagging, pushing me to take business classes so I can do what he does.”

“well, you need to know _something_ to run your own company, Jen” Jared drops his eyes only because he knows what he  
might anger his Alpha.

“I do.” Jensen closes his eyes as he nods his head in agreement. “It's been mostly on-the-job training and tons of shit forced into my head to learn.” He grows a little quiet, thinking back over the years and into his future. “I don't need to be perfect. I don't mind failing or falling on my ass a few times to get it right.”

Jared rolls to push his upper body backward, laying on the pillows next to Jensen. “It's a good way to learn, but not the best.” He bends his legs under to pull to his body, twisting toward his Alpha's side.

“I know.” Jensen lowers his right arm, his hand patting over Jared's knee below the blankets. He keeps his arm right where it lays, on top of the bend of his Omega's legs. “If I need business classes, I'll do them on my own, on my own dime.” Jensen has a bit of a proud lift to his chin.

Jared nods in acceptance, leaning against the headboard as he looks over at Jensen, his hand sliding down the arm that lays on him.“You gonna run this by your pack or... _not_?”

“... ** _our_** pack.” Jensen stresses, resting his head back as he turns to face Jared gazing at him. “Get fuckin' used to sayin' that.” He sweeps his left arm in mid-air just so he can skim a spot over Jared's nosetip, making him blink really fast and snortle a laugh.

Jared pretends like he's going to bite off the offending finger. “—'kay. I'll try.” It's as he feels Jensen slide toward him, willing to rest against him, that he secretly smiles to himself as he tucks his left arm around the broad shoulders to pull his Alpha closer to his body.

“Don't try...' _do_ ',” Jensen remarks as he drags the laptop back over his thighs as he bends both knees, feet planting flat to the mattress so he can show Jared some other files of interest—like his other drawings of furniture that had already been completed, with their matching photographic proof that they existed.

==&&==&&==

Jensen knocks on his own door to alert Jared he was on his way in, but he doesn't expect the wood paneling to swing wide open. Or for his tall, magnificent dark-haired Omega to be standing half-hidden by the edge of the frame. Green eyes gave the robed, semi-naked form a once-over, eyes narrowing as he walks in carrying two plates and a bottle of wine he has tucked under an arm.

“Where in the hell did you find that ' _old thing_ '?” Jensen is amazed Jared was able to find that old corduroy robe of his he used to wear as a joke, when he needed to feel like a King, or just a lead Alpha to his pack. What stuns him is that it's not moth-eaten or torn in places; the dark green material looks sultry over Jared's healthy flushed bare skin. The bottom hem respectably reaches below the knees, showing the dark hairs on the defined calves, but it's the cape-like hood draped down Jared's back and the way the wide collar sits, exposing naked flesh and upper chest that makes Jensen tingle with sudden want for his Omega. He had thought a bit of space—some distance—would've squelched that errant need churning inside him.

Jared is about to shut the door when he notices two glasses on the floor just outside the doorway. He bends to pick them up, shutting the paneling as he strolls over to where Jensen has set the huge ottoman up as their make-shift dinner table. “...you really didn't have to do this, Jen.” Jared shakes his head, holding a glass in each hand, between two fingers.

“Don't worry.” Jensen swipes the air to show Jared he should stop complaining, go with the flow. “Seems we're not the only ones who bowed out of tonight's meal.” He looks up at a spot on the ceiling, trying to remember who he had seen and passed on by while on their way out of the house. “Milo and Adrian...Chris and Chad—all of them seem to have gone out to dinner on their own, but not on a double date.” Jensen furrows his brow as he recalls one instance he learned of that has made him quite curious. “And, oddly, Steve and Sophia came home, past the usual cooking time, with take-out food of their own, but brought us desserts to munch on later.” He motions over their plates to display the food he had discovered for them. “These were leftovers I managed to scrounge together for us.” Jensen goes to take the wine goblets from Jared, but not before Jared smirks, dipping in to sneak in a quick smooch—a rather wet messy one.

Jensen wrinkles his forehead in bewilderment, licking at his lips as he bites down on the bottom one. “What was _that_ for?”

Jared shrugs, smiling shyly. “Nothin'...” With Jensen near, he reaches out to “fix” the lapels of the chocolate hoodie his Alpha still wears. “...except I love it when my Alpha takes care of us... ** _grrrr_**...” He makes claw-like hands in the air. “...foraging for food in the wilds of the Ackles Pack's huge-ass kitchen and stainless-steel fridge.”

Jensen cracks up laughing with the slow shake of his head. “You're nutty. I'm not sure you should have _any_ of the wine.” He tips one of the glasses toward Jared as he twists to walk back to the chair and ottoman.

Jared crosses his arms at his back; his eyes focus on the backside of his Alpha as he strolls away. “...an' you're cute when you're all bossy and ' _tough guy_ '.” He follows Jensen like a well-trained puppy and a bit of playfulness attached to his body language.

Jensen rolls his eyes as he plops the two over-sized pillows from the chair on the floor. “Sit down, Jay, before you fall down.”

So Jared obeys gladly as he sits Indian-style on the pillow's plushness, sighing at the softness under his backside. He watches Jensen uncork the bottle to pour out the dark red liquid. “Not too much for me.” He's impressed with how deftly his Alpha doles out the alcohol, while holding both glasses by the stems between one hand's fingers; each time he pours the wine, he rolls the bottle so the innards of the glass catches each drop. “I'm not sure what kind of ' _hit_ ' my system'll take with too much alcohol.”

Jensen goes still, eyes darting to Jared. “You _don't_ have to drink this.” Even though both glasses have been poured, he places the bottle on the floor, making a move as if he will head downstairs and get something else for Jared to drink. “I can go back down—get you a soda or some water.”

Jared smiles broadly, putting his hand up, palm out, for Jensen to stop with his keen attention to taking care of their meal. “You're sweet, but I _want_ to share the wine with you. But not _all_ of it.”

“Okay. Fair.” Jensen nods his head with acceptance. “No pressure. Just take small sips.”

Jared smiles, staring at his plate as Jensen drops down in front of him, handing over a wine glass. “I wish we woulda known we'd be on our own tonight.” He starts to dig into the food with his knife and fork. “I could've watched you make us lasagna.”

Jensen looks off to the side in thought. “I don't think we have all the ingredients.” He lifts his chin as he stares at Jared across the way. As soon as his Omega said the comment, he was making plans in his mind to arrange in the next few days. “Next week. We make a ' _date_ ', an all day affair.”

Jared snorts out a harsh laugh, not expecting Jensen to plan for their night so fast. He supposes he should get used to this happening quite often—his Alpha wishing to please him even outside of their bed. “You don't have to go _that_ far.”

“I want to. _For you_.” Jensen wipes a cloth napkin over his mouth. “And...I'm eager to cook again.” He can't help but smile with a feeling of excitement trailing behind his words. “Breakfast the other night lit a fire under me to do that again. And this...” Jensen swishes a hand over their plates. “...doesn't take a Master Chef to reheat leftover meals.”

“Still...” Jared uses his utensils to point from his plate to his wine glass. “...you knew that red wine went with what we're both eating.”

“Lucky guess.” Jensen shrugs both shoulders, not caring if that kind of thing made him look prissy or just an expert in food and wine.

Jared tilts his head to stare at a spot on the wall, like he's reading off a written list of attributes. “Smart and brilliant...” He lifts a hand, momentarily, to start counting off each one. “...kind and gentle...considerate and loving...” Jared smirks with a wink as he looks across at Jensen. “...tha's _my Alpha_.”

Jensen concedes that Jared might be correct, but then he rolls his hand to gesture across from him. “You also described _my Omega_ to a fault.”

Jared averts his gaze as he goes uncomfortably quiet, then his head shifts downward. “ _...sorry..._ I don't mean to get all... _verklempt_ on you. I'm just not used to _this_.” He twirls an index finger in the air to mean the moment they're in right now.

“It's all new to me too, Jay.” Jensen narrows his gaze on Jared, lifting an eyebrow as he looks down the glass of wine he sips from. After a swallow, he begins, “and...if someone needs to start reinforcing to you how amazing and incredible you are—not to mention stunning to look at in my old robe—I'd like to be that designated ' _someone_ '.” As he slowly chews at the food, he lets a small grin appear on his lips.

“ _...thanks._ ” Jared softens his tone, still unable to look up from his lap or his plate of food. He does a haphazard shake of his head as he's unsure exactly why he gets a little nervous around comments like that. “I think I've become numb to most compliments because they've always been in lieu of something I've done.” He takes a tiny bite of food; his jaw intentionally at a pace that's unbearably slow. Jared doesn't want to talk and have food spew all over the place. “Not just because I'm here in a person's presence, doing nothing but sitting here looking and feeling pretty slutty.” He expected Jensen to laugh along with his quiet snicker, but his Alpha went still, then silent.

“Are you wet?” Jensen pauses before he takes a sip of wine, eyes not willing to meet his Omega's.

Jared isn't sure if he should fabricate a semi-truth or just keep being honest. Honesty has worked in his favor so far. “While you were gone, I was ' _raiding_ ' your closet.” After he makes “air quotes”, he flicks the floppy collar of the robe. It's done to point to what he had found inside the large closet and had chosen to wear, so he's unaware that his small move has placed the material off-center of his broad shoulders. “If I ever needed a ' _Jensen_ ' fix, I'll just lock myself in your closet.”

Jensen blinks as his mind wanders into different images caught in his head. “You sniffed the clothes you pulled out?”

Jared nods his head, lifting his chin to tilt as he peers across the way. “yeah, like you said...you have a lot of clothing. It all smells like _you_...” He stresses that last word for his Alpha's benefit as he downcasts his eyes. “... _you_ an' a fresh-laundered scent and whatever air freshener is in there warding off mothballs.” Jared means to tease, and taunt; it seems to have worked because he catches the squirming his Alpha does as he tries to sit calmly on the pillow.

“ _whoa..._ ” Jensen smiles from the side of his mouth as his fragile mind slips into the gutter. “ _—_ so just my clothes got you hot-and-bothered?”

“well, sort of.” Jared shrugs one shoulder; he's already set down his utensils as he has kept his hands near the sides of his plate. “Your scent and, uh...whatever catalog of memories I've built up about you.” He circles a finger around his head to mean his brain. “Mostly—like right now—I'm getting moist at the _thought_ of you...” Jared intentionally blinks slow to then lift his eyes to stare intensely at Jensen. “...in this robe...” He juts his chin down to gesture to the robe he wears, then licks his top lip, taking a hard swallow as green eyes watch him. “...it's spread out on _this_ floor, uh...probably right over there where there's room...” Jared motions with the flick of his head to the empty floorspace behind him. He squints with one eye, gazing at his Alpha as he goes on with his description, “...an' you're on your back, legs spread and cock hard, knot growing and...you're steadily stroking...teasing me as you tease yourself, your middle and ring fingers pressing over your hole and then—”

Jensen tries to swallow down food and _not_ choke. “...then— _what_?”

Jared shrugs both shoulders with a forced sigh. “I don't know, what _should_ I do with you?”

Jensen gives the start of a shake to his head, but then realizes he's being cruelly teased. He'll gladly play along as long as Jared keeps going. “If I was any other Alpha and I heard you say, ' _my cock was hard, my knot growing_ '...I'd probably tell you to straddle my body and ride me like a bucking Bronco.” He takes a quick slurp of the last of his wine, then pours himself some more.

Jared nearly spits out his own sip of wine. “—but you're _not_ like other Alphas.”

“ _Exactly_.” Jensen makes a silly move of throwing his hands up in exasperation. “I'm _not_ like any Alpha you've ever known. I'm _me_ —I'm _Jensen_...” He points a thumb hard into his own chest. “...an' Jensen may act shy and demure when his Omega looks at him with those hungry eyes, but he _likes_ it.” Jensen detects that Jared hadn't expected him to turn the tables and “play” right back into his hand. “He likes watching his Omega crawl on the floor— _you know, right over there where there's plenty of room—_ on hands and knees as he makes his way to loom over Jensen.” As he keeps talking about himself in the third person, Jensen intently watches as Jared drops his eyes with some embarrassment or a bout of shyness. “He can see that beautiful cock dangling, see the wetness dripping between the spread of the massive thighs. As his Omega kisses up one leg until he reaches the pubic bone, but never touches the erect cock in his line of vision, he, uh... _hmm, what_ ** _does_** _his Omega do next_?”

“well...” Without missing a beat, once he's gathered his senses, Jared picks up his knife and fork again. “...I think it's rather obvious.”

Jensen dances his eyebrows up and down in curiosity; he can't wait to hear _this_ answer. “oh, you do, do you?”

Jared takes a comical bite of his next morsel of food, which sends them both into spurts of stuttered laughter. Before Jared chokes on the food, he picks up his glass of wine to help him swallow down the chewed pieces.

“ ** _Holy!Shit!_** ”

Jared's unsure what has startled Jensen, so he follows the eyeline to the hand around the stem of his glass. How the green eyes are widening every second more when they notice the dual set of rings on Jared's fingers. He self-consciously pulls back, fiddling with both as he spins the mating ring as it's a simple flat band, much like a real wedding band. “ _oh...yeah._ ” Jared spreads out his fingers in mid-air. He had meant to mention to Jensen that he had chosen to wear both rings while he had been inside his closet. “Thought it was about time I killed the suspense for you. I put them on the same hand...” Jared smiles, giving a small sniffle of a laugh through his nostrils as he looks over at his Alpha. “...hope that's okay.”

Jensen nods slowly, then has to cover his mouth with the back of a hand or he'll break his face in two with the widest smile he can't stop forming. But the thing is, though he's happy, he isn't able to stop the moisture from building behind his eyes. He attempts to hide the blubbering by reaching for his own wine glass.

Even with Jensen twisting his head away, Jared still catches the wetness teetering on the brink of those long lashes. “ _...oh, nononono...love..._ ” He's immediately coming around the ottoman, securing his arm around Jensen's shoulders and tucking the warm body into his own. Jared can't stop petting over the hair and presses light kisses to the skin near his lips. “ _...oh, jen..._ did you want me to wait? I can always take them off, let you out them on me properly. I know we don't have an 'exchange of rings' ceremony, but...” Jared goes quiet once Jensen has a hold of his ring hand—his left—and cradles it to his chest, like he doesn't believe what he sees so he has to touch to know it's real.

Jensen buries his face in Jared's neck, trying not to sob uncontrollably, keeping his face hidden away in embarrassment. “I'm jus—” He clears his clogging throat, fluttering a hand over his collarbone. Jensen actually can hear the beating of his heart in his ears, it's way-too intense. “...finding it a little overwhelming, that we're actually doing _this_...it's happening an'...that you haven't found me lacking.”

“ _Lacking_? In _what_?” Jared is confused by what Jensen could mean.

“The qualities of a real Alpha.” Jensen points to his quietly falling tears. “Prime example.”

Jared exhales a long sigh, then shakes his head as he pulls Jensen away while cupping the back of his head, fingers sliding down the nape. He wants to look into those green eyes as he speaks these words, “I don't want any other Alpha except you.” He brings up his free hand, formed into a loosely clenched fist, and soothes the shape on Jensen's flushed cheek. His Alpha has worked his system into a nice “fit”. “And now that I have you, I don't want to change you—at all.” Jared lifts up one side of his mouth in a quirky grin. “I want you to be exactly like _this—_ always.” The fist drops to softly pound on the upper chest. “If you happen to change on your own, I'll adapt and willingly accept...” Jared opens his clenched hand to take his Alpha's chin into his grasp. “...an' love you jus' as much as I do right this moment.”

Jensen closes his eyes at the sweet declaration. He takes hold of the hand on his face—Jared's ring hand—and turns his face into the wide palm. “so, you _do_?”

“huh?” Jared is momentarily entranced by this reaction from Jensen; it breaks his heart to witness.

“ _...love me_?” Jensen shakes his head, trying to sit up straighter. “God, I sound pathetic.”

“No. No you don't.” Jared allows Jensen to draw back a few inches; he rests his arm up on the chair cushions behind Jensen's head. “I didn't say it to you when you did, even though I felt it—overwhelmingly.” He averts his head, staring across the room. “It's not a word I throw around easily.” Jared clears his throat, then dips his head to look down at the floor as he goes on, “If I ever questioned how much you **_do_** love me...I only have to rewind back to the image of your fingers inside me, getting me off as you held me close to your heart.” He bends his left leg to drape his left arm over-top his kneecap. “Most Alphas would be disgusted to be debased to such a...subservient level. Omegas should please the Alpha, not the other way around.”

“It's crap.” Jensen shakes his head at how stupid Alphas can be; he's been coerced a few times to act in much the same manner, never feeling good about reacting in that manner to potential mates. “And its old school pack bravado that I've always hated.” He glances over at how close his Omega is, yet he had kept his distance once Jensen had pulled away in shame. He hates them not touching if they remain this near to one another. Jensen reaches for Jared's hand—the right one and begins to play with the fingers on his lap; they're truly beautiful hands. “I've never understood how Alphas want to know why they never feel fulfilled, always needing to stray.”

“I like how unafraid you are to give back.” Jared twists his head to lay on the rounded shape of his shoulder joint so he can look at Jensen. He wants to caress his Alpha on his own, but he'll let Jensen steer this moment until he knows exactly what direction they are heading. “You really _do_ understand the concept of how our bodies work in tandem.”

Again, Jensen holds the whole of Jared's hand and forearm to his chest, his neck craning back as the head bounces on the cushion. “I love seeing you so free in your body and sexuality.” He lifts his right hand to touch Jared's face, skimming a single finger down the side. “You're the most experienced virgin I've ever known...I find it kind of _hot_.”

Jared quietly laughs, fluttering his lashes like he's a demure and naïve female 'cub'. It gets his Alpha to share in a chuckle, then Jared gets a bit serious. “You don't mind?”

“ _What_? That you're a ' _virgin_ '?” Jensen's stunned Jared is even asking him this question.

“It makes more sense if I'm 17 and ready to mate.” Jared lifts his eyebrows at the same time, rolling his eyes as he sighs. “Hell, even in my early 20s, but...I'm 25 an'...untouched, in so many ways.”

Jensen releases Jared's hand, and arm, to twist around so he can draw up his legs and face his Omega directly. “I didn't hurt you, did I? This afternoon?”

“No.” Jared softly chuckles as he reaches out to take a small sip of Jensen's wine. He bends his right elbow to settle on the cushions and rest his head on the hand. “When aroused, the hole swells—a large enough gape to fit over an Alpha's knot.”

Jensen takes a nervous swallow of saliva, his head twisting away to look at their place settings and how their plates still have food on them. “You still hungry?”

“Yes...” Jared peeks at the same view, then turns back to look at Jensen's fidgeting. He reaches out to grab his Alpha's arm. “... but now I'm hungry for something a bit more tasty and delectable.” Jared dips forward, going for Jensen's neck and nape.

“ _god..._ ” Jensen lets out a shaking breath as he closes his eyes at the feel of warm skin, and wet tongue, over his own skin. He squeezes his head against Jared's to keep him in place, turning to whisper into an ear, _“_ I'm not sure we can make it to the bed...”

“ _...when you are weakened, I'll be your strength..._ ”

At those words spoken against his skin, Jensen never expects to be jerked to his feet and have his hulking Omega bend low to lift him into his arms. “ _...jesus christ..._ ” He knows he should refuse this kind of treatment, but he finds he likes this “in control” horny Omega routine—kind of part caveman, part gentleman. Jensen locks arms around Jared's thick neck. “I'm not heavy, am I?”

“Light as a feather. Could carry two of you?”

“ ** _Hey!_** ”

“ _What?_ ”

“I don't hear your diap— _those briefs_...” The arm Jensen places across Jared's shoulders, now dangles down the back.

“I know...” Jared gently tosses Jensen to bounce on his side of the mattress. “—'cuz I'm not wearing them.”

Jensen looks down to his Omega's groin area, swallowing hard. “You're naked under the robe?”

“Yes.” Jared's hands go to the long tie that's bowed at his waistline. “Would you like to see, Alpha?”

Jensen quickly sits upright. “ _No! Don't!_ Let me... _please_...” He tucks his tongue into the inside of his cheek. “...it'll help with the fantasies in my mind.”

“ _oh—all right._ ” Jared attempts to simply let his arms dangle by his side as he watches his Alpha's hands untie the belt.

The material of the robe is so thick and heavy that it remains stuck in position for a few seconds longer as Jensen lays palms to the bulk of the upper chest and pushes everything in his way aside. The robe precariously dangles off broad shoulders and, as Jensen places lips in tandem with hands, the material falls to pool at Jared's bare feet. Jensen's fingers chase down ribcage and torso to land on wide hips as his tongue licks and nibbles on warm, bare flesh to stop at a dusky pink nipple.

Jared only bends his head forward, trying to feel his Alpha's front against his body. But Jared's too curious to see what Jensen does next to him. When he feels himself being pushed back a few inches, Jensen falling to one knee to then get to a second knee, Jared only has to use the strength of one hand to tuck under Jensen's arm, lifting him upright. He wraps the single limb around the waist, yanking Jensen to him, then uses the force of his body to hurl both of them onto the bed, on top of the tangled sheets.

Jensen reaches out and fumbles to catch flexing biceps, but he grunts softly to feel the weight of his Omega on top of him, pushing in and making him feel like he can only help more by spreading his thighs wider. “...this is _your_ day...” He flutters his hands to cup Jared's face, holding him steady. “I wanna keep pleasuring you until I drive you completely insane for me.”

Jared is a mere inch from Jensen's face, eyes unable to look away from that moist, plump mouth, but he tempts with his own lips, then draws backward. “You have all the time in the world to give me as much pleasure as you desire. I'm not done showing you how much I worship your body...” He keeps threatening to drop lower on the body, but then comes back to the face to tease. “...how making _you_ satisfied gives me the pleasure _I_ want most.”

Jensen arcs back, feeling the squeeze of the strong arm around him, then the shove of the pelvis. “ _...god..._ you're maddening.” He locks legs around Jared's thighs; Jensen keeps speaking against the skin of the cheek into an ear, counter-thrusting the slow roll of hips against him. “You're probably wet for me an' all I can think about is feeling you deep inside...” He chokes a little before he can say more, “...not your fingers, but your _huge_ cock...”

Jared reaches up with his free hand to shape Jensen's face, loving that the Alpha twists into his palm like the very touch is a salve. “You're a bit overdressed...an' there's plenty of time to do that later.” He slips-slides their faces together, mouth parting to taste skin. “I was thinking, since we're here an' I'm more than ready...we should do what we've both been wanting for a while.” Jared plants his hands on the mattress, arm held straight out from his body as Jensen lowers himself down.

Jensen slowly leans his head backward to look up at Jared. “I'm totally missing all the signals, aren't I?” His hands and wrists have curved about the long limbs Jared uses to brace himself above him.

“No. You're perfect.” Jared dips forward so they can smack lips and brush noses. “I can feel how hard you are hard for me.” He smirks down at his Alpha, lifting an eyebrow as he feels how much Jensen's body wants to take him inside, but the mind isn't as willing—Jensen speaks volumes more with the looks on his face. “But you're knot...it's—” Jared isn't serving a buzzkill, he's just redirecting their shared passion; he brings up a hand to play at the dip in Jensen's throat and collarbone, around the clavicle. “—your body still wants what it needs and I'm willing to get you to _that_ place, any way I can.” He bends over to hover his mouth above Jensen's parting lips; he keeps biting at the air, like he's going to take a chunk or two or leave a harsh reminder of how violently he feels his own arousal. “Only this time instead of the toy...it'll be **_me_**.”

“It's okay if we just fuck...” Jensen sounds a bit desperate to offer out alternatives to finally knotting. “I won't be—”

“oh, but I know you are, so don't try to lie to me... _please_ , not now.” Jared leans his head on Jensen's face. “You're scared for me, but I'll be fine. My body's built to take you with little to no pain.” He begins to nudge the side of his Alpha's face, then nibbles lightly against the neck and shoulder. “I love that you love me enough to protect me, but Alphas and Omegas have been doing this for centuries. I'm more than prepared...mentally and emotionally, I'm ready for you, for us to start mating.”

“No more obstacles.” It's more of a statement, not a question. Jensen slides his hand from the top of Jared's head, then down the back to gently yank him away so he can look at those hazel eyes; he nudges and nuzzles at the same time his Omegas does.

Jared whispers the words against Jensen's skin, “...an' no more issues or hang-ups.”

Jensen caresses Jared's face tenderly. “I've never been so conflicted in my life as I am now.”

“I know you, Jensen.” Jared nods his head as if he accepts and understands. “...you'll be gentle at first, then...you're _real_ self...your ' _true wolf_ '...” He rubs under Jensen's chin to get him to lift his head so Jensen can see the smile spreading across his face. “...your Alpha will finally come through and you'll want to claim your Omega. I know...an' I'm ready...this is what I was born for.”

“ _What_?” Not sure if he's being cornered into giving in, Jensen will keep struggling to comply until he knows for certain that his Omega isn't consenting for any other reason than it being what he _truly_ wants. “To be at the beck-and-call of your Alpha?”

“No...” Grabbing his Alpha under the chin to stop him from lowering his head again, Jared holds him steady so they look into one another's eyes. “...to be the bearer of your seed...to carry the very future of Ackles Pack into further generations.” He releases the chin to the brush the back of his hand down the side of Jensen's rough cheek. “...give you daughters and sons...give you the purpose you've been searching for—the love and inner solace you've been craving...”

Tears pooling his eyes, Jensen leans in and smashes his lips against Jared's. “ _...shutup-shutup..._ ” He can't stop touching that face or the parting lips. “...stop speaking like you're my every fantasy come to life...”

“well, I _did_ tell you I knew you...” Jared smirks against Jensen's mouth; his eyes alight with humor. “...I ' _see_ ' who you are...”

“ _...you did_...” Breathless in agreement, Jensen shuts his eyes to attempt to take over control of the moment. “... _yes, you god-damn did..._ ”

==&&==&&==

Jared relaxes back on the bed, dead center, blankets pulled up and tucked between his legs as he folds and crosses his arms behind his head. He's alone...not by choice. They had come so close and Jensen luckily had escaped from under Jared, picking up the dirty dishes and the half empty wine bottle, giving some excuse that he didn't want Jared cleaning after the mess, then he had bolted.

As he lay there quietly, Jared stares at the ceiling above the bed, patiently waiting as he draws up a bent knee and periodically glances toward the closed door that will eventually open with his Alpha walking through. He's becoming slightly nervous after five minutes became ten, ten became fifteen. He's starting a habit of folding his thumb into his palm to spin the mating band around and around. Sighing heavily, Jared rolls to his stomach, dislodging some of the material of the sheets and comforter, displaying part of a bare ass cheek as he now rests his head on folded arms. He turns, just so, able to view the top of his ring hand, staring at his pack ring insignia. Jared keeps having to swallow down the hard lump catching in his esophagus.

That's how Jensen finds his Omega, with head turned away, glaring at a hand. He silently shuts the paneling, working out of the chocolate brown hoodie. As Jensen crosses his arms to grab the bottom hem of his t-shirt, Jared has shuffled his legs, causing the bottom mounds to shift and alternate positions, the more he moves to lay flat on the mattress, then draws up his leg bent. Gone was Jensen's t-shirt, hands grappling to unbutton, then lower his zipper. He has to pause again, thumbs under the waistband of briefs and denim as his Omega start to shuffle more sensually.

Keeping one arm bent and curled under his head to hide away his face in shame, Jared slides his right arm down to tuck under his body, lost in the sheets as the huge hand grabs hold of the equally large cock and begins to stroke. Jensen is breathless with wonder as he continues to step out of his jeans and pads around the bed frame to slide along the mattress. Jared is laying slightly diagonal on the bed, so Jensen circles an ankle and tugs. It spooks Jared who spins onto an elbow, dropping his length as he stares over at his Alpha.

Jared happily crawls across the comforter and sheets to reach Jensen. “I knew you'd come back. I knew you wouldn't leave me.” He is on his knees, but then he scrambles to sit, spreading his legs around Jensen's body to pull him in. Jared fumbles to shape Jensen's face, fingers dancing merrily as if seeing the handsome features for the first time. “ _...promise never to leave me..._ ”

“ _...I do._ ” Jensen chuckles lightly as he cups both of Jared's shoulder joints.

“...no, ' _promise_ ' me...” Hands flat to his Alpha's upper chest, Jared gently shakes Jensen. “...say the word like you _mean_ it.”

Jensen knows Jared is aware he _does_ mean it, but he also realizes his bashfulness and embarrassment tendencies had become a trigger for his Omega's abandonment issues. He drapes both arms over Jared's shoulders, locking fingers at the back of the nape. Jensen leans in to press a kiss or two to the brow and hairline, then he rests his face there. “I promise with all I have, and everything in me, to never leave you.”

“Good.” Jared sighs, quietly patting broad shoulders and bare upper chest.

Jensen is a little distressed by his Omega's reaction, but more-so because of how he's casually treated Jared's instant fear. “I'm an idiot.”

Jared blinks slow to shake his head, telling Jensen to forget his frenetic reaction. “...an' I'm finding I'm a latent neurotic.” He drops his gaze to pet over his Alpha's warm skin. “I get comfortable wherever I am, get along too well with people I'm around. I make myself never want to leave, then when I do...I have to take time off.” Jared lifts his lashes to look up at Jensen with a half-smile at his own self-torture. “It's truly an emotional let down.”

Jensen wishes Jared wouldn't treat this stuff with such lightheartedness as if it's a silly neurosis. “Can't have been beneficial to you, not having a pack to speak of.”

Jared gives out a sad smile, keeping silent.

“Got it.” Jensen nods his head on one bounce as he understands he's hit a boundary line. “Keeping my mouth shut.” He mimics the action against his mouth, twisting fingers at the end as if he “locks” his lips closed, then “throws” away the imaginary key.

“No.” Jared clears his throat, head bowing to brush dark brown strands against the chest as he touches Jensen. “We'll talk later. I'm predicting we'll spend a lot of hours together.” One eyebrow lifts in a tease.

Jensen chuckles, sliding his hands along the limbs, holding Jared around the waist. “Scoot back. I'm _not_ gonna take you off the side of this bed.”

“I don't mind.” Jared sweeps a hand in the air offhandedly.

Jensen sighs with some exasperation. “I know _you_ don't, Jay...but ** _I_** do.”

“—'kay...” Jared shuffles backward, keeping his legs spread a decent width apart.

Jensen places left knee down, then hops up to settle the other knee on the mattress. His hand keeps soothing over the dark hair coating the muscular ankle and calf; he's hoping the slight caress is a reassurance and not an unwelcome aggression. “I can see now, the appeal of a ceremony for knotting. It'd be something like what we did this afternoon.”

“yeah...” Jared tries to settle his arms by his sides, but finds he can't prevent his fingers from sliding over his bare flesh and soothing over the softness. “...but we'd try to include all Omegas and any other pack members who wanted to participate or just observe. Sometimes their presence, the potent energies given off in the room, helps the ceremony become much more powerful. Even with all those eyes watching, or hands, touching, it's still quite intimate for the mating couple.”

“Do you—” Jensen pauses only for a minute, raising an eyebrow in query. “—did you want _that_ for yourself?”

“ _What_? _A knotting ceremony_?” Jared stops caressing himself as he stares at Jensen with another wounded reaction, then attempts not to smirk.

“Yes.” Jensen frowns because of the strange way Jared reacts. “ _What_? What did I say?”

“No, no...it's not _you_ , it's _me_.” Jared touches his chest with a curled hand. He finds it funny that Jensen would even think a formal ceremony or ritual is what he most wanted. “I'm way-past my prime for _that_ type of celebration to be life-changing for me.”

“You're 25, not 65.” Jensen bites with sarcasm.

“I know, _love_ , but it's...dumb.” Jared shakes his head as if he doesn't even want to explain why it's “dumb”.

Jensen can't help but let out a forced laugh. “ **It's '** ** _dumb_** **'?!** That's your _professional_ opinion?”

Jared rises to his elbows to stare down at his Alpha. “It's better to have a ceremony like Milo—right out of 'cub' years. Better even for a young Omega, like Chad, in his early 20s.”

“Well, I don't care how fuddy-duddy you think you are, you deserve your first time to be special.” Jensen knows he's making it sound like he's upset that Jared doesn't want a ceremonial knotting for his first time, but it's more for his Omega than his own well-being.

“ _jesus_...” It's almost immediate that Jared reacts with an idea that Jensen is still afraid of what might happen. “...you're not bowing out on me, are you?” He hates to think they've come this far and they won't actually knot.

“No.” Jensen lightly shoves at Jared with a grin, liking that there's a hint of a return smile on Jared's face. “Quit thinkin' bad about me. I may be an idiot, but I'm not a complete imbecile.”

Jensen moves his left hand so he can cup the entire calf muscle in his palm, then with his gaze locking with Jared's, he leans in to kiss a trail up the bare skin. As he moves upward, so do where his hands fit, until he's grasping the back of the meaty thigh, shifting his kisses along the hip and pubic bone. Jensen brings out his other hand to palm the other thigh to spread the legs wider and lifts them to set his knees under. He rests Jared's limbs on the tops of his thighs, hands sliding further along the elongated torso. He kisses across the belly—his mouth opening as kisses become wetter with the lick of his tongue and gnash of his teeth.

Jared reaches out to cover Jensen's hands, like he's guiding him over his naked body. As Jensen's lips meet up with his hands, at one of Jared's nipples, Jared keeps stretching and lifting his arms as he bends them beside his head to curl about the top; he starts to undulate the harder he feels his nipple being suckled and nipped at. Below, Jensen's cock is fully erect, the knot beginning to expand. The leaking tip pokes and rubs at the apex of Jared's legs, alternating from squishing to sliding along the underneath of the crease. Every time the cocktip or length passes over Jared's bottom, the skin moistens with his secretions and, even when Jensen has total control of upper body, his lower seems to have a mind of its own as his hips start to thrust, though he's not inside the rectum.

Jared pushes a little off the bed, offering out his collar and throat as he reacts to what he can sense below, what is present in front of him and the deeper feelings churning within his body. He knows if he doesn't grab Jensen's attention while he has it, forcing him to focus and concentrate, the intimacy will be over and it'll simply be another knotted breeding. “ _...love..._ ” Jared slides his hand from shoulder to neck, but is silenced by a pair of lips taking his mouth. “ _...mmm...love, please..._ ”

Neither man can prevent their lower bodies from seeking out pleasure and release. It's a weird combination of hands grasping and eyes connecting, while pelvises thrust, a cock seeks out a hole and a hole moistens with every move to be filled.

“ _...what?_ ” Jensen sighs heavy as he leans against Jared's brow.

Jared hurriedly takes Jensen's hands, placing them on his shoulders, right at the niche into the neck. “Right when our bodies merge, I need you to shift your hands and hold onto my neck.”

“ _...why?_ ” Jensen furrows his brow in a sense of bewilderment, unsure what this will do for their knotting.

Jared nudges against his Alpha's face, his tone softening to a hushed timber. “ _...you'll see._ ”

As Jensen's half-lidded haze watches his hands move, it clicks into his frenzied brain this is almost like when Jared first touched him and all his pain went away from his lower back and upper thighs. He tried to recall exactly what Jared had done to bring about that moment of “connection”. Before he knew it, Jared had widened his legs more, then has fitted a hand between their bodies to guide Jensen's cock into his body. Green eyes snap down to look as his length starts disappearing, but his lids begin squeezing shut as not only is he feeling his own arousal and agony, but a second one, hazy and distant in his mind.

Jensen chokes on a swallow. “ _...ohgod..._ ”

Jared sinks his body down, taking the full length of the shaft, but no knot and brings his hands up to cover Jensen's. “...i's me...” He breathes against Jensen's lips, barely an inch away as their faces merge and he slides his hands up and down Jensen's arms. “...that sensation you feel trying to push your feelings aside, is only me, _love_...” He kisses tenderly, breaking apart to catch a few gulps of air, letting his hand curve about shoulder joints to slide down the sides of the ribcage, then over the back. “...the more I let you in, the deeper we'll bond until you won't know where you end and I begin...”

“ _...my god, this is..._ ” Jensen frowns hard, squeezing his eyes closed so tight as if in agonized pain.

“...tell me to stop an' I will.” Jared kisses the pale moist skin around the face until he reaches an ear to nip, and nibble, at the lobe. He keeps his hands steady at his Alpha's hips. “Or you can drop your hands and lemme go, simple as that.” He tilts his face to the side, mouth searching out Jensen's parted lips. “ _...you're not alone...I feel you too._ ” Jared smirks from one side of his mouth as he quickly re-covers Jensen's hands. “ _...you feel good...both ways..._ now we just have to thrust together.”

“...I am _really_ not gonna last at all, am I?” Jensen sounds half-scared and half-self deprecating; his fingers lock and entangle at the back of Jared's nape, under the hair.

Jared caresses the side of Jensen's face, the other arm slipping up the chest to curl about the neck and dangle down the back. “mmm—why do you think I grabbed your attention before I lost it.”

“well, this does stop me from going full Alpha...” Jensen twists his cheek into Jared's touch, never wanting to open his eyes again. “...able to sense what I do to you.”

“I won't feel true pain until the initial knot passes through. Once it nestles in position, it won't be as bad.”

“But it'll still hurt?”

“You're in my ass, Jen...” Jared is only stating a fact, not trying to be funny, yet his Alpha still finds the hilarity. “No amount of lubing can erase the pain.”

Jensen softly snickers, fingers playing along skin. “Good. I need you to be blunt with me. Don't sugarcoat anything.”

“Don't lose focus on yourself, _love_...” Jared rises to his elbows, kissing each of Jensen's wrists as he counter-thrusts toward him. “...or you'll be coming sooner than you'd like.”

“I've never learned how to control my body.” Jensen leans forward, feeling the soft strands of hair brush over his skin. “Guess I never thought it would be part of why I failed sometimes as a lover—you know, giving satisfaction to my partner in bed.” He begins to swing his hips toward his Omega's, seeming to know just what his actions are doing to both of them.

Jared throws his head back, another rush of sensation shooting up his body as his prostate gets a massage when Jensen pulls in and out in a rocking motion. “...most Omegas— _unghhh_ —would only see it— _ohgod...ye-ye-yessss...more, more_ —as you bein'...Alpha.” Propped up on one elbow, Jared reaches down, palm flat to Jensen's lower abdomen. “ _...ease up, love...ease up...you almost knotted me..._ ”

Jensen is barely about to speak, “...my body feel it's close.”

“...but...your mind is nowhere near there.” Jared can actually sense where Jensen's thoughts lie. “...don't let your feelings toward me—the need to protect me, keep me safe—mess with finding your own pleasure.”

“...can't help it.” Jensen smiles lop-sided as he opens his lids to near-slits to peek. “I've never mixed sex and love so perfectly together.”

Jared pushes fully upright so he can look at his Alpha's face, arms reaching out to hold on. “You're doing wonderful.” He presses a solid kiss to lips. “...you're everything I've dreamed an' more.” As Jared pulls his body more straight, he wraps arms around Jensen's waist to pull him closer. “...'m ready...anytime you are...”

Jensen expects to hold onto Jared around the neck with at least one hand, but Jared dislodges his arms swiftly and directs him to hold onto waist and hips. Jared surrounds his hands about Jensen's neck, taking any and all from his Alpha as he rolls his body in a firm wave that opens his gaping hole to slowly slide over the pulsing knot. Jensen recognizes the initial pain Jared had talked about so he slides his palms around to cup each mound of ass cheek to part them as far as they'd go.

Jared lets out a muffled scream as his body properly adjusts to take the full knot, settling right at the first sphincter. He bends and curls an arm around Jensen's neck with one hand still cupping the area of the throat where the carotid artery pulsates. Jensen's hand release the backside, sliding up the lower back as his hips begin to piston hard; Jared has gone still in his embrace as if catching a breath to regroup. As the hand of the arm replaces the right hand, Jared sends his hand down Jensen's body, fingers playing over the left breast, then traces down the clenching abdominals. Jared's one hand reaches out to clasp half of his Alpha's hips.

“ _...steady, love...steady..._ ” Jared manages to slow Jensen's movements so his own body can catch up.

That's when Jensen feels the inner walls clench around his length. This interesting rocking of Jared's mid-section was the strong control he had of his anal muscles; a weird push-out-pull-in of not only his cock but the knot as well. It was as tight as the toy's silicone tubing had been, but there' so many other advantages: the counter-movements with his thrusts, the intense heat around his own cock and the manner he was being touched and caressed while moving: lips sometimes kissing, wet tongue darting out and the hurried frenzy to meet Jensen's own lips.

There's heavy breathing in his ear, almost panting and then a warm burst of air over sweaty skin asks, “ _...are you close?_ ”

Jensen nods, but then licks his lips to moisten. “ _...yeh-yeh-yesss...you?_ ”

“...when you come, I'll come... _I swear_.”

“You don't need to. We've got all night to get our bodies to match up.”

“I think I can do this.” Jared starts to uncurl his arm, going back to just hands around the neck. “ _...fuckme, Alpha...breed me—I know how badly you've been wanting to..._ ” He pushes off and away from Jensen to drop his upper body onto the mattress, and Jensen moves to adjust his frame between the spread thighs as he bends the legs to gain traction. He speeds the jack-hammering motions into Jared's body and starts coming like he's never come before. He's actually fearful he won't stop ejaculating as he feels the rectum filling up with hot liquid around him.

“ _...ohmy god...ohmygod...dammit..._ ” Jensen feels Jared moving under him, and around him, sensing his Omega's own release, just like he said. Even as his hands latch around Jared's neck as he writhes, Jensen closes his eyes to feel the aftermath of Jared's pleasure, how there's so much love and light inside of him it's unbearable not to smile or laugh at the pure joy and bliss he's feeling. Jensen tries to grab onto the dark locks, keeping Jared's head steady.

Is that what it's supposed to be like? Is every Omega truly that drenched in ecstasy after each knot and breeding? Or is this simply because they went the unusual route and shared feelings first?

“ _What?_ ” Jared looks up at Jensen from an odd tilt of his head, reaching up to touch the face above him with one finger. “You look...pensive and thoughtful?”

“I'm curious, is all. I know Omegas embrace their lot in life. I don't know how may comply out of a sense of duty...like they know their place so they just obey their Alpha.” Jensen smiles weakly as he notices Jared's fixing his head on the sheets. “I feel— _I felt you_ —right at the end of your own orgasm and you...” He bit unsettled by what he actually did feel from his Omega. “I felt you wanting to smile or, uh...laugh from how ecstatic you were.” Jensen shakes his head, with how this both gives him a duo feeling of happiness and sadness. “I'm not sure it's that way for every Omega.”

Jared shakes his head, feeling touched that Jensen has seemed to have acquired his sense of angst for the world. “I'm afraid it isn't.” He gives off a small grin, catching the curious green eyes. “It's entered into—the mating process—just how you think, and some Omegas do manage to love their Alpha—not sure if it's true or only obligation. A few fall in love after they mate.” Jared realizes how rare their type of bond and connection is to other Alphas and Omegas.

Jensen moves to look down, then pets the underside of Jared's hard cock. “Is it normal for your dual orgasms not to sync?”

“They can, but it's not important for fertilization.” Jared arcs and thrusts into Jensen's touch. “ _...stroke me...please..._ ” Jared's fingers dance through Jensen's hair, then tickle his nape.

Jensen simply complies with the breathless request. He rubs the back of his fingers over the long, crooked vein, them circles a thumbpad over the wet, sticky top. He doesn't take the length in hand just keeps brushing fingers over a spot toward the middle and domed tip. Jensen intensifies his short caresses as Jared begins to cant his hips, rolling his body. He forgets that would mean movement inside of his Omega's body, especially whatever still remains in the canal as his inner muscles clench and unclench, Jared moaning out his second release as thick, pure white semen oozes out of his cock onto his own stomach. Jensen thrusts as Jared milks him more and he shoots another smaller load of come, but just as powerful to cause him to jolt and shudder with a quick release.

Jensen collapses on top of Jared, head lower on the damp chest. He can feel hands all over him, soothing and caressing. Kisses are placed to skin and hair with massages to his back and scalp. He really doesn't know how most Alphas had the kind of stamina he knows he doesn't. Jensen is close to being ready to sleep. He lifts to shift over but Jared pins him down to his chest with one arm.

“Where you going?” Jared snorts out a laugh as his fingers clamp hard into the back muscles to hold on tight.

“Nowhere.” Jensen willing sinks down into his Omega's chest. “We're both sweaty...an' hot...I'm probably weighing a ton on you.”

“oh, _love_...” Jared twists to kiss, then press his face into the soft plait of dirty-blond hair. “...don'-don' freak out on me now. It's who we are as Alpha and Omega, part of pack.” He shakes Jensen lightly to rattle some common sense into the puddle his brain must be in now. “Stop being so _human_.”

“Sorry.” Jensen contains a yawn, then curls his arms about Jared's torso to tuck under the body. “I guess I'm more comfortable with what I know. Last thing I wanna do is chase you away.”

“You're not, so stay...” Jared doesn't want to smother so soon, but he can't help but hold his Alpha as close as he possibly can, or is allowed to embrace him. “...lay on me or beside me—close...your weight and warmth are comforts and I like the way you smell, especially after sex—your scent is...” He trails fingers up Jensen's spine, feeling the shiver course through. “...animalistic...”

Jensen leans his head into Jared's face. “You make me ashamed of how little ' _wolf_ ' remains inside of me.”

“It's still there, Jen. It's always in you to be, you just haven't been shown where to find it.” Jared kisses brow and temple. “If you'll let me, I'll be more than happy to guide you.”

“Not now.” Jensen shakes his head, closing his eyes as he's ready to settle down to sleep.

“No, but soon, _love_.” Jared caresses over the back of the head, cupping the nape. “You have no idea how deeper our connection could be if we found _other_ ways to communicate.”

In a weary voice, Jensen only lifts his eyebrows, but doesn't open his eyes as he responds, “...you'd do that for me?”

“I'd do _anything_ for you, Alpha.” Jared says the words as quietly as he can so as not to disturb his quickly-slipping-into-slumber Alpha; he knew Jensen wouldn't last too much longer in remaining awake. “It's about time you knew how far I'd go.” He's not even sure if Jensen had picked up every word he had uttered; it's okay if he isn't aware in the slightest.

==&&==&&==  
 **TBC...**


	25. Chapter 25

When Jensen had first woken, he had found Jared laying turned away to the left, partly on his stomach. Jensen had been draped over his back, front of his legs aligned with the backs of Jared's as his cock still lay inside. As time had passed while sleeping, the knot had gradually slipped out. Taking some precaution, Jensen eases backward, hand delving down to guide his length out fully. He rolls to fall out on his own back, the right arm he had shaped above Jared's head was now curling and draping over his own face. He tries to slowly wake so he can climb out of bed and run to the bathroom; he doesn't want to move too suddenly or make too much noise to disturb Jared from deep sleep.

With a quick glance to his Omega, Jensen rolls off the mattress without causing a disturbance. He thinks about redressing but never sees the point. He will only be returning to bed shortly and the only person in the room was Jared; no one would care if he wandered about in the nude. Jensen stands to pace around the bed frame, heading toward the bathroom; he turns on the light switch on the wall as he closes the door. Stepping to the toilet, he drains his bladder, shakes off access and then flushes to shift over to stand in front of the sink. He can feel the unusual amount of stickiness between his thigh and over his whole genital area. He takes a quick sink-bath with a washcloth and a hand towel to dry. Throwing the towel over a bare shoulder and tossing the cloth into the dirty laundry bin, Jensen wets another washcloth and exits the bath, turning out the light. He walks back around to his side of the bed, but when he climbs onto the mattress he makes sure to pull down the comforter and sheets.

He sits down, faces the direction of the headboard and, with the bare ass the one thing he is shown first, he decides he'll wash the skin first. With a delicate touch, Jensen uses one hand's fingers to part the spread of the cheeks, wiping down the center, making sure to clean over the puckered skin. He had known there'd be stickiness down both thighs' inseams, but he has better access to the right inner thigh. It's while Jensen cleans the front, inseam and back of the meaty thigh that Jared shifts in half-sleep. Jared lowers his raised left leg, flipping onto his back, butting against Jensen's warm, body. He barely opens his eyes to slits, catching the smiling green gaze darting toward him, then he's right back to slumbering peacefully as if he's safe in someone's keeping, being tended to.

The left thigh is now brushing over Jensen's own thigh, so he goes on to gently wash the front, inseam and then the back like he had done before with the other leg. In full view of the flaccid cock laying on the bed of dark curls, he imagines that the area may need a cleaning, but doesn't touch for too long; the flesh and body parts are too sensitive to caress for long, and Jensen's not looking to arouse his Omega, just make him less messy and gross. He swipes over the pelvic bone above the pubic line, then cups the entire cloth around the groin, presses softly and pulls down; there's a final swipe around the scrotal sac, with another light brush over the perineum. Jensen wraps the washcloth inside of the towel, after drying, and he throws both over Jared's side of the bed.

Reaching down to yank on the pile of linen to re-cover both of their bodies, Jensen considers laying on his back, like Jared, but he would miss the closeness and heat, the feral scent of their combined body odors after knotting; he simply wants to be near or hold his peacefully slumbering Omega. He thinks about laying higher, tugging Jared over to huddle into his bare chest, but Jensen keeps having these strange sensations of only wanting to show a quiet submissiveness to his mate as he demonstrates how grateful he is to have Jared grace his life, share in his love and be willing to offer him complete balance in his once chaotic world.

Jensen starts by lifting the limp left arm, slipping his body under, while placing the limb around his frame. He brushes his brow, his face, then his lips against the left side of Jared's chest and ribcage to rest his head, cheek down, in the crook of the open arm pit. At first, he places his hand, palm flat to the skin, but then he lightly traces fingertips over naked flesh, sending his hand over to curl about, then cup the right flank. Immediately following, Jensen's whole body drapes itself over Jared's left side once he twists to throw his own left leg between his Omega's thighs. He slides the limb upwards to bend, tucking the foot under the back of the right knee.

Jensen closes his eyes, attempting to even his labored breathing, quelling a natural Alpha need to shift into a simple human need. Jared's tapering heartbeats, under his right cheek, hypnotize Jensen into drifting off into a light sleep.

Jared has been in and out of consciousness, after rolling onto his back. He had fallen back into a deeper sleep as Jensen had tenderly bathed him. The very minute he had felt his Alpha go limp and relax on him, Jared had opened his eyes, instantly aware of the sweetness of Jensen's vulnerability. He brings up his left arm, trailing fingertips along Jensen's spine to settle low on the nape. He pets over the soft hair, turning his head to bury his face away in the shorter locks.

Jared wishes he felt like moving, but this is a precious moment to savor. It's truly amazing how often in little ways “wolf” tendencies seem to come out of Jensen, even the other pack members, but because they have chosen human form, they appear like human ways. As Jensen had been washing him, Jared has imagined the cloth would've been a rough wolf tongue, lapping at a furcoat, and Jensen butting his head, his face and then his mouth against his chest would've been a wet nose at the end of a snout, brushing against the thick fur of a torso. It was weird, but quite thrilling how easily he can imagine the both of them in their wolf forms; Jared had never done this with anyone in his life. He has no doubt that this is only another sign how perfectly mated they are to one another.

As he fidgets his legs, Jared settles down and brings up his right hand. He had meant to caress over Jared's forearm, but he's feeling the weariness of needing sleep. His hand drops to lay on his stomach, then he turns the wrist so the five-fingers span over the flat area of his belly. All he feels is hard muscles, but he wonders how long it'll be until he senses a slight flutter, the movement of life inside; his abdomen does flinch a little from feeling ticklish, but then goes still.

Jared twists his body more toward his Alpha, clutching his hand on the arm as he holds on as tight as possible to Jensen before he gives over his mind to dreamland.

==&&==&&==

The second time Jensen wakes, the bed is empty.

Minutes before he had been laying on his left side, Jared's right arm had been loosely draped over him and the warmth of his Omega's body stayed at his back. He had blankets covering his body, but feels the rush of a chill pelt his spine as if he's missing a piece of himself. He rises to an elbow, peering over his shoulder. He squints his eyes in the semi-darkness, calling out to his mate, but gets no response. He turns over to plop on both elbow joints, looking around the room and stopping at the window. This is where he finds Jared.

Jensen's immediate want is to throw off the sheets and comforter, padding his way over to his Omega, wrapping his arms around his waist from behind and pulling him close. He keeps still, and remains covered, his mouth open to speak since Jared hadn't moved once, but then he does and Jensen is suddenly unable to utter one word. Before they had been mates, he had gotten a quick thrill just being able to stare longingly at Jared, without him being aware. Jensen hadn't meant to be a bother nor had he wanted to pry into Jared's privacy—his best kept secrets. But now that their situation was changed, being in love, being a couple, Jensen still didn't want to bother Jared, but he wanted to pry as much as he could so his Omega knew he was no longer alone. Jared's problems were _his_ problems, his secrets were _Jensen_ 's secrets. He wants Jared to know he has someone close to confide in, and he doesn't have to burden himself with useless pain and suffering.

Leaning against the window casing, dressed in that farcical robe of his Alpha's, Jared sighs and rests his temple on a portion of the glass. He can finally see all of the moon as his head tilts, and he smiles as he bends forward to fog up the pane of glass. He moves in to steam up the rest of the perfect square, taking the index finger of his left hand, leaving his right hand tucked across his chest, as he begins to write in “code” to the person he's been missing nearly half his life—his mother Omega. He writes to her about the past several months, catching her up to everything that has gone on with him since the last time he'd done this foolishness. He swipes away what he's written, then lets the fog of his hot breath settle so he can keep talking. The “code” he uses is an ancient text taken from old Neanderthal cave drawings, but has passed through various wolf cultures to become their own written word.

He tells her about each pack member, going into some details, but not all, and then assumes whether or not she'd get along with them. Jared intentionally skips over Jensen, basically using the symbol for “lead Alpha”. He can't explain why he doesn't say anything about Jensen, because this is a silly childish thing he's been doing to keep a fantasy conversation going as if this were a real letter or an actual phone call—correspondence by moon. Wolves are tied to the lunar phases and the moon is seen by everyone, no matter where they might be. Other spiritual guides had tended to find this method of his way-too eccentric; they were already freakish enough. Only a few of his fellow guides at the center thought the act quite touching and sweet. Jared cares neither way; this type of nonsense simply keeps him sane and functioning.

Jared seems to forget he isn't alone as he shifts further over, more toward the center of the window as he presses his brow to the slat of wood in the square design. He closes his eyes, apologizing to no one, then pushes off the glass to fog up two sections of glass. He clears his throat, not one peek at the moon as he writes in a quick flourish of his hand. He tells every bit of his story about meeting his lifemate—his Alpha...how they waited to knot, the way he fell hard at first and not admitting to his feelings until tonight before he allowed his Alpha to take him to his body, and to eventually end with the news that he now has his own pack and a mate who will never leave him—he has rings to prove this fact. He waits until the very end to say that his Alpha is Jensen Ackles, but once he does, he feels instant relief. He doesn't swipe over the glass, only fogs the surfaces more so he can turn a little to face the phase of the moon as if to say, “ ** _...so there, and don't try to change my mind._** ”

Jared laughs softly, then drops to another square, steaming the glass with a spray of hot breath and, clear as day, he writes as if he's practicing for his future: “I [ _heart_ ] my Alpha” and then, “I [ _heart_ ] Jensen”. He giggles with an airy snort and chokes on saliva at the back of his throat to cough hard as he wipes over the glass to then write his feelings out in several different ways: a heart with both of their names and an ampersand, Jensen's name with a heart and an attached apostrophe ending with his own name. He finishes out his doodling with testing his new name out— **Jared**  
 **Ackles-Padalecki** , and then he drops his own last name to sound shorter— **Jared Ackles**.

He steps backward to admire his work, leaning an elbow on the back of the huge stuffed chair. He thinks enough time has passed being on his own, feeling like he should head back to bed. It's as he twists around that he spots Jensen seated on the side of the bed—Jared's side—covering himself with the single sheet as he props his feet on the box structure of the bed frame.

Jensen lowers his gaze once Jared notices him; he folds his arms over the tops of his bent knees. “I didn't see a thing.”

Jared smirks, pausing to narrow his gaze on his Alpha. There's a hint of a blush over the pale skin. “Liar.”

Jensen shrugs as if he doesn't care what his Omega thinks. “I don't disagree with a single word written.” He's trying not to preen too much like a boastful Alpha who knows his Omega is under his spell, and completely in love with him.

Jared twists to look over his shoulder to the window which has faded to clear glass; no more writing is visible. “You only understood that last part.” He finds he doesn't even mind that Jensen may have seen a little too much of what he had just done.

“I know, but I understand _you_.” The only thing Jensen had gathered from all that romantic gibberish was that Jared was utterly, and totally, head over heels in love with him. “I don't think you could ever tell or write a lie—you're unashamedly honest.” He bends one arm to lift and rest his cheek on.

“There's no sense in holding onto a lie.” Jared wanders over to the bed, leaning the side of his body against the framework. “It hurts me, while keeping someone else in the dark.”

“You don't have to tell me everything.” Jensen peeks from the side of his eyes at his Omega, reaching out his other hand to play with the folds of the robe.

Jared nods his head, accepting what he's being told, the space he's being given. It's the kind of thing he's always wanted from a mate—his Alpha—but never knew he could actually have. “What if I _want_ to?” He shoves off the bed, wandering partly to the center of the floor, where he had stood before. Jared has his back turned, but then swivels around. “What if I'm _ready_ to let go?” His mother Omega was forefront on his mind, the more he spent time in Jensen's company. What he had done at the window casing was more cathartic than anything, so he could wash away his past and move on.

Jensen swallows hard—this was _it_. This was Jared willing to come clean to reveal what he'd been holding back about his mother Omega. He extends one hand, wiggling his fingers as he gestures with his head, crawling backwards, for his Omega to join him on the mattress. “...come here...”

Jared hesitates, but on his approach to Jensen he speaks, “You'll do me _no_ good, Alpha. You're nothing but a distraction I _can't_ deny.”

Jensen shrugs one shoulder. “—then _don't_ deny yourself. _Stop_ denying yourself.” His hands go to grab each hip, holding strong to his Omega's body. “Let your body have what it wants...what it _most_ craves.” Jensen pauses as if he isn't sure what that might be, lone eyebrow lifting in question. “What _does_ your body want?”

Jared reaches out to rub a clenched hand over the left side of Jensen's face. “ _...you..._ ” Then he quickly dips his head to take the lips he never wants to stop tasting. His alpha twists his head, forcing Jared's lips to trail over rough stubble, along the jawline and down the slope of the neck. “ _...lock ourselves away in here...not caring if we're missed or not..._ ”

Jensen makes a move as if to stand so he can obey his Omega and lock the bedroom door, but Jared's hands are on his shoulders, keeping him on the mattress.

“Don't bother. It's locked already.” Jared states the information with a hard, curt tone.

Jensen arcs an eyebrow, quirking one side of his mouth in amusement. “Thinking ahead?”

“What **I** want— _what_ ** _I_** _crave_ —is usually what my Alpha wants...craves...” Jared tilts his head, his voice rising a few octaves to ask, “...am I wrong?”

“No.” Jensen drops his gaze, unable to deny that his Omega is rarely wrong about a lot of things.

Jared gives off a broad smile. “I also know what else _we_ want...”

“ _oh? Wa's that?_ ” Jensen chuckles deeply at the use of the word to put them together.

Jared slides a hand under Jensen's chin, getting him to raise his head. “...to give you endless pleasure.”

“...we already did that...” Jensen watches Jared shake his head in disagreement. “ _No? We didn't?_ ” He makes a stunned face of disbelief.

“Not the pleasure you _most_ desire—” Jared stares intensely into those passion-filled green eyes, a hint of a smile stuck on his lips. It's not that his Alpha is an easy read, but Jensen is shamelessly open to his keen spiritual guiding abilities. “—the one you want most but are afraid to ask for.”

Jensen begins to shake his head as if to deny right at the get-go before Jared has a chance to speak for him. “Jared, we don't have to—”

Jared stops Jensen from talking with a hand to his chest. “...you won't ask outright because it scares you. Not the asking, but the action itself.”

“It's best if we concentrate on the knotting, and you.”

“But there is no ' _me_ ' and ' _knotting me_ ' without you.” Jared slides his hand up to clutch at a strong, bare shoulder. “I think the saddest thing I see consistently in the mated couples of most Alphas is this sense of pride—stubborn pride.” He forms a fist and holds it at the mid-sternum of his Alpha's chest, then he opens that hand to lay, palm, flat against the deeply breathing lungs. “Like Alphas don't matter, _only_ the Omega does. I get it...it's in our natures. I can't deny it's been one of those moments I've looked forward to having because then I can't ignore my rightful place or my role in pack life. But...” Jared removes his hand to then make a similar fist to hold to his own chest. “...it's never supposed to only be about me...there's never going to be life inside me—or other Omegas...without our Alphas. Why can't I service _your_ needs the way you take care of mine?” He smirks when Jensen averts his head. “It's rhetorical. You don't have to answer, because I think you agree with me.”

“I've always been like this.” Jensen shakes his head at how much he's failed in the past when it's come to relationship with potential mates. No wonder he hadn't succeeded. “When I want something badly, but the fear eats away inside me...it chews every last bit of my courage and confidence until I forget it or I've managed to bring out something else I can focus on until I feel the fear rise again.”

Jared drops to his knees, joints crackling on the way down as he settles his arms on the flat of Jensen's thighs. “I'm not grading on performance—it doesn't have to be the bottom line...or nothing.” He cranes his head backward to peer up at his Alpha as those heartsick eyes gaze down at him. “I'm all about the pleasure and making sure my mate feels safe... knows he's loved and that I'm not sizing him up for a better Alpha.”

“Good...” Jensen teases, throwing an extremely slow, and soft, punch to Jared's shoulder. “...you better not be.”

Jared lowers his head, his gaze now transfixed to a spot on Jensen's torso, where the single sheet covers naked flesh, shadowing the paleness to leave a mystery hidden beneath. “I won't pressure you if it's _really_ putting the fear of God in our bed.” He blinks to shake himself out of his trance to then look up at his Alpha with a tiny grin. “But I'd never just throw you down, barely get you prepared and then coldly stick my cock in your ass.”

“I know.” Almost immediately, Jensen has grabbed Jared around the face, dipping low so he can kiss him quick, and on a solid move. He keeps his brow on Jared's face, deep breathing to calm himself down. “I know tha's not who you are. I can't help thinking about you, the other night, showing me other ways to pleasure myself...” Jensen swallows with some difficulty, pulling away slow as he keeps his eyes downcast, unable to look at his Omega. “...but, I see the size of you and I wonder about what it feel like to fuck you, then knot you...all while your body can prepare itself to accept my body. It won't happen for me, not that easily.”

“Do you have somewhere to be?” Jared snortles out a laugh, giving his Alpha a shake to his whole body where his hands rest on the waistline. “Under a time constraint I'm not aware of?”

Jensen deeply chuckles, looking away in shame. “ _hehehe...no...of course not..._ ” He softens his voice, one hand going to caress Jared's cheek, then settling to cup the side of the neck to rest there.

“I can tell you that most Omegas wish there was more attention given to foreplay—the slow build-up to knotting.” Jared leans into the forearm that's beside his head as he goes on to talk in length, “The act of knotting is short, then you have the lengthy periods of whenever-the-hell the knot decides to shrink back. That's a shit-ton of wasted time, before and after. Omegas understand they carry the 'pups' and give life to a pack, but... _god-damn_ , the monotony of it all often causes them to wonder if they _truly_ ** _do_** matter. They want to reciprocate with their Alphas, only getting the cold shoulder or...some are knotted again as it's turned into the default mode for their mate to perform.”

“Tha's not me.” Jensen removes his hand to send his fingers through the long dark brown locks of hair covering his Omega's head.

“I know it's not you, but don't let yourself slip into being one.” Jared snickers, then peeks up at his Alpha to concentrate his gaze on that beautiful face above him. “I love you for being _Jensen_ , not being _Alpha_.”

“ _...jesus..._ ” Jensen is speechless by the sentiment, because it's probably the most perfect comment his Omega could have stated to get him to feel more at ease and content.

“ _...c'mon..._ ” Jared pats a thick thigh on the side, then stands to draw back from Jensen reluctantly, waving his hand for his Alpha to slide more onto the mattress. “...get back on that bed...lay on your stomach...”

“Jay, I...”

“Trust me, _love_...I'm only looking out for you.” Jared is determined to work as hard as he can to make this deep, dark wish of his Alpha a near-possibility, but he's not going to take without permission. “I don't want your own pleasure to be synonymous with _any_ pain.”

Jensen sighs with the heavy hang of his head and a droop to his shoulders as he crawls over the tangle of bed linens. At first, he relaxes on stomach with every intention of lifting his head to turn and watch Jared. But once he settles his body comfortably, twisting his head to the right, Jensen shuts his eyes and puts trust in his Omega. He had seen Jared do it, _how difficult can it be?_ His arms had been limp by his sides, but once he knows he can't keep his lids shut for too long, Jensen draws up his right arm, using his biceps to cover his face so that his forearm will be forced to curl about his head. Fingers clutching at his hair strands keep his head trapped in one position.

Jared takes his time, not on purpose to keep suspense building but because he truly isn't in a rush. He opens the infamous night stand drawer, pulling out a few items he may or may not use with Jensen; the main thing is body oil and better lubricant. He takes off the robe before he climbs back onto the bed. His immediate want is to touch Jensen's ankle, shaping the back to slide up the clenching calf muscles; it's his “ ** _I'm here_** ” reassurance but also to ground his Alpha to reality. With body oil in hand, he shuffles on knees to place himself below the bare feet, centering between the legs. Jared does a short massage over the soles of the feet, and as he scoots up the body, his hands knead and rub in tandem.

He pauses when he reaches the backs of the thighs because he's about to direct this moment into another realm, closer to intimacy, close to pseudo-sex with arousal. He doesn't want to keep scaring Jensen. On his bent knee position, Jared turns to focus on _one_ thigh—the left—and he pours more oil into his hand. As he's thorough in his massage of the thigh, he slowly makes his way up the left butt cheek; the mounds involuntarily clench in dormant fear. _There_ is the tension Jared expected to be present.

As he presses hard into every nodule of tension below the skin, Jared does slip-slide his hand along the crease. It's a ghostly caress, using only the sides of both hands; he never touches the flesh inside nor does he jump onto the right cheek. What Jared does is turn to the right, beginning to massage the back meaty portions, and as he kneads, he peeks at Jensen to see the arm, once across the dirty-blond head, is now held away from the face, simply laying in a bent shape close to Jensen's head, tucking under a pillow. As he softly draws his thumbs to the underside of the right butt cheek, Jared places his left hand over the left mound. He completes a different massage of the right, one-handed, but adds the same pressure to release tension.

Once he's done, Jared now loosely sets his hand over his Alpha's hips, and he jostles the body from side-to-side. Jensen isn't completely a puddle of ooze, but he's getting there. Pouring more oil in his palm, then a bit at the dip of the lower back to the upper curves of the ample backside, Jared skips over the bottom to start the massage on the lumbar area. This is where his Alpha carries most of his pain and tension because as he kneads, and works his heels and thumbs over muscles and tendons, muffled moans and groans bubble and exit out of Jensen's throat. Jared concentrates here until he can no longer see that brow furrow so deeply on his Alpha's face.

But Jensen does him one better, he lifts his head finally to face-plant then tries to adjust off his face, keeping his forehead to the mattress. Jensen brings both arms up to fold and use as a resting place for his weary head. Jared pauses, does his “test” of shaking Jensen from the point of his hips and, finally, it appears as if the lower body has become flimsy, pliable, almost. He does a quick pass over the bottom, curious when he stops touching that the legs shift to spread as the bottom pushes backward, seeking more attention. _Good_ — _this is what Jared wants, what he's been looking for_ , but he's not done yet. Body is willing, but the mind has reached a fuzzy haze, caught on the fence and not sure which way to fall.

Jared squeezes lots of oil over the back muscles, then dips his forearms in the soupy pools. He works his hands on a deep slide upward to the armpits, letting Jensen mumble out a cry at how good and intense that was to feel. He quickly slides down, stopping at the lower back, where his thumbs press at the tailbone, and there's a faint quiver to the mounds, then a roll of hips to push into Jared, who isn't there; there's only air. The more the crack widens, exposing the puckered hole—maybe opening the hole a bit, too—Jensen lets out short breathes from clenching teeth.

Jensen adjusts himself, drawing up his left leg a little to bend at the knee. Jared knows it's a subtle move that keeps the anus visible and vulnerable—it's a move Jared does all the time when he's aroused and his hole needs attention. Jared still isn't done yet, so he does another slide of both hands along the torso. This time he rises off his knees and looms his own naked form above his Alpha's. It's not in his control where his shaft or the tip of his cock pokes, but he steers his own hands and body. With slick fingers and palms, and arms to match, Jared uses the whole of them to massage a larger area of Jensen's back; he even includes the bulk of Jensen's arms along the way. He doesn't care that he has to crawl higher than his Alpha's body to rub biceps and forearms, nor that he has to tuck hands in, off the shoulders, to massage the side of the neck, then over the nape.

By now he's passed the front of his body over the back of Jensen several times, his cock semi-erect as he's brushed against the warm, slicked skin beneath him. Jensen feels the hardness, and the heat, of the shaft too; his leg has lifted higher and he's nearly whimpering to find a different mode of release. There's no tension in his body and...body _and_ mind appear to be working together. Jared does a final, drawn-out slide down Jensen's arms and back, completely pulling away his own scent...his every touch and then his entire heat. Now he can focus on the bare bottom that has remained open and exposed on its own, starting at the under-curves of the cheeks, he pushes in and slides up and over the ample mounds, stopping at the hips. From the tailbone, he begins to knead with clenched fists, thumbs sticking out. Jensen adjusts his body again, left leg lower, but widening the spread of his legs as he lifts his head, balancing off his elbows. He drags over a pillow and scrunches down to rest, needing the plushness to muffle the sounds coming out of him. The bottom pushes back into Jared's hand the more he reaches the crease. He finally uses the sides of his hands to make a chopping motion down the crack, over the sensitive skin; he doesn't touch the hole, but does soothe around it.

Soft pleading noises emit out of Jensen's mouth as he tries to thrust back and catch fingers on Jared's hands. Jared's not denying, only delaying. There's never a need to rush pleasure in bed. He won't teach his Alpha that he'll be satisfied with complacency. Jared switches body oil for the tube of lubrication. He eyes the other two objects he brought out with him, but quickly decides those will be more like “goals”. Jensen is exactly where he wants him and he's not messing this up to jump over hurdles to escape fears. He wants Jensen to face them—head on, even if they take weeks or months to resolve.

Palming the tube, Jared tenderly parts the cheeks, spreading them out. He kisses the top curves, skimming his nose along the quivering skin. His face gets close to the crack, and he can see the hole push out to open, then shuts again. He kisses the thin flesh, hearing Jensen intake a deep breath, but Jared focuses on body language. He sticks the tip of his tongue out to tentatively touch, maybe lick, but he feels the tightness building as there is an instant need to pull away. A quick kiss to one cheek, Jared retreats to pour out lube over two fingers; he reaches down, one hand pulling back a mound as he rubs the liquid over the puckered skin. A bit hesitant at the start, the body begins to react positively, seeking out the fingers whenever they go missing.

Jared hops over Jensen, keeping his left leg aligned with Jensen's right leg when he moves to lay his body off to the side. He's higher than his Alpha so he can look down and catch those darkening green eyes. He rests his right arm on the pillow, bending low; he brushes the back of his left hand down Jensen's back, turning to rub and squeeze a butt cheek, the fingers playing over the slick hole. “ _...tell me what you want, I'll give it to you..._ ”

Jensen blinks his eyes to open, a little startled to have Jared close. As he feels the hand over his backside and fingertips over his hole, he brings up his own hand to cup Jared's cheek. “ _...just you...like that night..._ ” He scoots as if he wants to roll over onto his back, be cradled to his Omega like he had been before. But Jared shifts to tuck his arm under Jensen's upper chest, now Jensen can't move.

“...same action, but...le's try a different position.” Jared dips close to Jensen's face, brow to temple. “I can still hold you to my body—I know tha's what you really want...I do too—but this position will give you a different sensation...maybe a more intense orgasm...” He doesn't want to promise too much, not truly certain how welcoming his Alpha will be o this change.

Jensen wrinkles his brow in bewilderment and leans heavy on Jared. “...why are you so concerned for me?...” It tears at his heart to be thought of so much when it should be him taking care of Jared. “I don't know that I deserve this kinda—undivided attention...”

“I beg to differ, Alpha.”

“...I almost can't take my next breath with how much you do care...” As Jensen talks, his body moves into Jared's hand, wanting more. “...one single Alpha shouldn't have this much affection...” He smiles shyly, wanting to hide his face away. “...you're gonna spoil me...”

“...nonsense...we'll find a balance. Neither of us will let pride go to our heads...” Jared combs fingers through the shorn dirty-blond locks. “...we'd body-check the other if we ever hurt each other...” He's dipping in low to speak into an ear, “...we know how traumatic loneliness can be...we'd never let this kind of good slip through our fingers. I can promise you now, _I_ won't.” Jared is going to try to stop talking about them as a pair and let Jensen have a thought of his own. “I won't even take what we have for granted.”

“ _...god-damn...neither will I..._ ** _neither.will.I._** ” Jensen seals that promise with a rough kiss as he shapes both hands around Jared's head. “ _...go slow, please..._ I wanna savor every minute in your presence...”

“ _...way ahead of you, Alpha..._ ” Using his thickest and longest digit, Jared slides the tip along the crack then gradually inserts to fill.

Though Jensen sucks in a sharp breath, his body wants, his body accepts and his body moves. “ _...ohgod...this_ does _feel different..._ ” He turns his head, a bit embarrassed by how wantonly his body betrays him. “ _...hate to say I like it better..._ ”

“—'m gonna keep my hand still, right at your backside.” Jared keeps his face on the right biceps, resting his chin against the flexed muscles. “ _You_ move...show me what _you_ need.”

“... you took three, right?...” Jensen tries to lift his head as he asks, then continues with a choked breath, “ _...add the second after a minute..._ ”

“Three is a lot, two might suffice.” Jared is shocked that Jensen still carries a fear but yet tries to overcome the emotion with a sense of courage. “Don't overdo this to try and match me, finger for finger.”

“I wanna feel what you feel.” Jensen swings his head back over to nudge against Jared's head. “I wanna learn everything you go through so I know better how to take care of you. Be the best Alpha I can.” He lifts his head at a level where he can connect their eyes. “Equal partners, right?”

“ _...right..._ ” Jared feels the lump lodging in his throat how touched he is by what his Alpha would do for him. “ _..._ but I draw the line at carrying a 'pup' for you. Tha's solely the one thing I do for you.”

“ _hehehe...agree..._ ” Jensen sniffles out a short laugh, his green eyes intently searching out hazel. “ _...I love you..._ ” There's a strong conviction in his voice, though his body is coursing through erotic pleasure.

“ _I love you._ ” Jared doesn't add the “too” because he wants his own emotions not to be tallied off of his Alpha. He almost wants to add a “more”, instead.

Jensen lifts, then shuffles over, planting his arms down around his Omega's head; Jared half-twists like he might roll on his back but he stays strong, pushing onto his right elbow. Jensen lays crossways over his chest as his legs pull up; Jared's left arm holds the line of his body while he rides on the two fingers inside of him. He starts kissing, talking in spurts, “ _...do it..._ ” Kiss. Nudge. “ _...give me more..._ ” Nibble. Kiss. “ _...please...don't make me beg..._ ”

Jared can see the frown wrinkling Jensen's forehead, trying to figure out what's going on with his body and why—when he looks down at his cock—it's only half-hard.

“Wha-?”

“You're all right. It's okay—normal.”

“...I don' even know wha's goin' on. I feel ** _it_**. I'm aroused. I want—I feel need.”

“...you're stimulated anally...your pleasure's right where it _should_ be.”

“This is what you had today...isn't it?”

“...yes...not many Alphas tap into _this_ pleasure. It's another option to help you find release.”

“But you—” The more he tries to talk, the more he has difficulty breathing at the same time. “—you feel this all the time.”

“...yes, _love_...” Slowly, with gradual steps, Jared adds the third finger, forming the digits into a make-shift round shape as he feels the walls tighten, the heat intensify as the motion stutters to a near stand-still.

“ _...ohmygod—_ ** _fuck!_** _...mygod-mygod..._ ” Jensen arcs backward as his legs start to shake, the reaction crawls along his upper body and he emits a strangled cry as his hips keep thrusting back onto Jared's hand.

“ _ssshhh-ssshhh...you're all right, love...I got you..._ ”

“ _...I don' think i's over..._ ”

“ _...no, you're not done._ ” Jared sits upright to drag both of them to recline on the pillows. He puts his right palm flat to Jensen's pelvis; he can feel the quickening inside. “...you're probably 'bout to have another one...how do my fingers feel?”

“ _...great..._ any cramps in your hand?”

“...no, _love_...is _this_ enough?”

“...I dunno...you're hittin' my prostate pretty good...”

“...then I'll keep going...you tell me when to stop.” With a kiss to the side of Jensen's face, Jared deepens the penetration, then curls his fingers to massage over the small bump he can feel.

In a matter of minutes, Jensen is shaking again, hips at a frenzied pace as he holds his breath and throws his whole upper body backward and out. He whimpers his muffled cries and starts to shiver and...in seconds flat, Jared has pulled his fingers away, cradling his Alpha against his chest and wraps both arms around him. Jensen isn't shivering from cold, just from reacting to an explosive anal orgasm. With his right hand, Jared directly wipes off the sticky pre-come that has leaked, then he throws the linens in the air to toss away everything on the bed. He yanks on the blankets and comforter, letting Jensen sink down against his body, laying on the massive bare chest; his Alpha tucks both legs between his thighs and that is how they lay for the next half-hour.

Jensen wants to speak, to say anything to let Jared know he's fine, but his body is still reeling in a state of shock, choking every breath he needs to talk. Jared understands, though, and he quietly suggests Jensen close his eyes and try to sleep. And Jensen shuts his lids and obeys in silence.

==&&==&&==

Even an hour later, Jensen finds it difficult to say a word. He finds himself laying on his back on Jared's side of the bed a bit of a distance away. He glances to his left, sees Jared asleep against pillows and headboard with his arms crossed over his chest. It seems as if once Jensen had escaped his clutches, rolling away in sleep, his Omega had remained on guard over him until the dark brown head had leaned forward, chin to chest, then had passed out from exhaustion.

Jensen tries to lay there, unmoving, not tempting to slide over, roll and explore his Omega's nude body. He can't, not with the euphoria still quaking inside from those intense inner orgasms. God, he had never realized how naïve he had been to not only what to do in bed, but to finally discover about his own body—what felt good and how to please himself to a satiation point. He twists his head, gazing intently at Jared and knows right away that his Omega deserves something special.

So keeping his frame low and tucked under sheets, he flips and shifts over toward Jared. As if he senses his Alpha nearing, Jared lifts his head, but doesn't gauge how close he is to the wooden headboard.

There's a sharp crack of head meeting wood.

“ ** _ow-ch!_** ” Jared reaches one hand to hold the spot on the back of his head he had hit.

“ _...awww..._ Jay...” Jensen lets the sheets fall as he quite blatantly moves to straddle Jared's hips. He removes Jared's hand, combing back the dark brown locks, then palpates over the sore area. “. _..damn, man..._ no luck at all _not_ hitting your head...”

“I'm fine.” Jared releases an airy chuckle as he tries to evade Jensen's need to coddle him. He's back to touching the older wound on his brow, right at the hairline. It's sore now, and the bump has shrunken some; there is a faint purplish tinge to the skin. “You should only be worried if I'm too drowsy or if I'm sleeping, and I don't wake easily.”

Jensen pulls Jared's face toward him to kiss the brow, right at the hairline. “—'m sorry. I wasn't trying to startle you.”

Jared removes the arm from across his body, then places both hands on Jensen's thighs on either side of his hips. “ _mmm..._ but you did mean to ' _sneak attack_ ' me...” He knows exactly what his Alpha wanted to do for him.

Jensen holds his chin high. “...so what if I was?”

“You thought I deserved some type of ' _payment_ ' for before?” Jared lifts a single eyebrow in curiosity.

“Jay...I'm not playin' a game...” Jensen sighs deeply, the relaxes back on his heels as he contemplates his Omega's reaction. “...an' I'm not keepin' score. I jus'—I don't mind using other parts of me to bring you pleasure.”

“So—a _blow-job_ for me, then _what_?” Jared folds his arms over his middle in mock-defiance.

“You _don't_ like blow-jobs?” Jensen doesn't think this is true; every male wolf pack member loved attention, whatever it might be, given to their cock.

“I like them, if that's what you want me to have.” Jared wiggles his ass back more, squeezing the pillows against his body on the headboard so he sitting straighter. “Would it give you pleasure as well to wrap your lips around my cock and suck on the tip 'til I come?” He tilts his head in wild wonder, not sure Jensen knows the reason for his mild frustration. “Do you wanna feel me slide in and out of your mouth, hitting the back of your throat? How 'bout when I ejaculate, you wanna eat every last drop?”

Jensen a bit miffed and confused by Jared's heated reaction. “What if I slide down right now, under these sheets and jus' took you between my lips?”

“ _...hmm_ —I'd like to see you try...”

An arm around Jensen's waist, Jared throws his Alpha down onto his back and pins the forearms to the mattress. Jensen struggles, they wrestle a bit, legs tangling, then Jared releases a strangled laugh as he finds himself rolled and imprisoned to the bed. He's not sure how his Alpha got away from him, but he takes a knee and rubs between Jensen's legs, managing to flip them over again where he's on top.

It's as they struggle and wrestle that they both weaken, even as their breathing patterns grow more labored.

Jared lowers both hands to shape Jensen's hips, Jensen lifts his arms to use his hands to cup the sides of Jared's head. They both lean in, brows merging as their lips meet...rough and supple, sharing breathes as Jensen spreads his thighs wider, raising legs to lock around Jared's body. Their cocks are trapped between them as they begin to rock at different paces. Their attempt at suave romantic moves is sloppy and chaotic. They pause, laughing at themselves as they try to collect their breathes and control of their bodies.

Jared rolls them slowly onto his back, bringing Jensen upright. He smiles at his Alpha, kissing the arm and soothing up the limb. Jensen can't bear to appear menacing above his Omega. He drops down to mesh his face against Jared's, pressing light kisses over the skin as he thrusts his hips into Jared's pelvis; Jared's answer is to gently push back, a wayward hand sliding down Jensen's back. They both seem to adjust and shift Jensen's body so that the length of Jared's shaft rubs the underside of Jensen's scrotal sack.

Jared lifts his arms, letting Jensen pretend to pin them to the bed as he rides his body against his Omega. Jensen begins to frown as the sensation is a heady feeling...the heat against him, the familiar scent telling him he has no more need to bring fear into their bed. It isn't too much longer before they start matching tempos and Jensen drops hands to hold onto the fitted sheet under Jared, desperate for traction; Jared reaches down to surround the hips, slipping over the backside to open the crease.

Like a domino effect, Jensen tumbles to Jared's chest, burying his face in the neck and hair. Jared lovingly accepts Jensen into his arms as he starts to increase his thrusts until he comes; Jared isn't too far behind.

They don't pause in their movements even after they've orgasmed. Jared rolls them, one last time, to lay on their sides, facing one another. And that's how they fall back asleep.

==&&==&&==

For the third, and last, time, Jensen wakes that evening to find the bed empty again, and he's wrapped and tangled within the bed sheets. He's nice and toasty in his blanket cocoon; he rises to an elbow to catch a fire going in the fireplace that has warmed the room entirely. His sleeping Omega sits in the comfy over-sized chair, with the matching ottoman near the fire; the ottoman butts right at the end of the cushion of the chair to create an elongated seat that even a tall frame like Jared's can fit on.

He wears the robe and is covered in a small throw; there are slippers on his bare feet. When Jensen rolls to climb out of bed, he surrounds his naked body in the goose-down comforter. As he drops off the side of the frame, he strolls around to approach the chair Jared occupies. Jensen tilts his head in curiosity as he can now detect that Jared's curling his body toward warmth, head lays on the thick armrest as he has pulled the hem of the knitted throw to settle over half his face. The floppy hood of the robe is covering the dark brown head, obscuring the top of the head, and face, from view. All Jensen can see is a small strip of skin peeking out.

Moving over to the fireplace, Jensen takes out the metal poker and stokes the flames to re-spark. Then he makes his way over to the armrest Jared uses as a pillow, and he pulls back the corduroy hood to expose the mussed locks and the eyes with pale lids closed. Jensen starts to comb fingers through the strands, suddenly realizing they're wet, probably from a shower. It amazes him to think Jared had been awake long enough to be out of bed, taking a shower and then deciding to not return—all while Jensen slept on. He tries not to take offense or be slightly hurt as he bends to give Jared a soft kiss with a tender scratch to the scalp and a parting caress off a cheek as he wanders across the room to head into the bathroom, about to take his own quick shower.

He drops the comforter back on the mattress, then walks naked through the doorway; he shuts the paneling after turning on the light, then makes his way to the shower stall. Jensen can still feel some leftover heat and see the beading of vanishing vapor on the glass from what he'll assume was a hot shower Jared had taken. The second he encloses himself in the glass cube, he feels a warmth; he leans over to turn on knobs, mixing more hot water than cold. He doesn't need an intense temperature, simply wanting the shower spray to be hot enough to wash away all the bodily fluids that have dried and caked on his skin over the last— _oh, wow..._

Taking a glance at the digital readout on the shower radio display off the shower nozzle, informs Jensen that he and Jared have been cloistered in this bedroom for almost seven hours—maybe even eight. He shampoos his hair first, then soaps a washcloth to start cleaning the flesh over his entire body, from shoulders to ankles. It's a bit precarious to wash his back, then his bottom and crack to then scrub over his testicles and along his length; he barely touches his knot even though it has shrunken to flaccidity. He finishes off his shower with a thorough wash of his face and neck. Jensen knows it seems ridiculous, but because of the amounts of come they had released together, those sheets they rolled around on were pretty suspect. He reminds himself that once he's back in the bedroom, he should change the sheets.

Jensen turns off the shower, reaching for his over-sized towel to dry off, then walk out of the stall with the material tucking about his waist. He steps to the sink, peering at his thick stubble, then only brushes his teeth. It's a short task with a quick gargle of mouthwash; Jensen exits back into the bedroom to find the bed has been stripped already and stacks of new linens are piled on the mattress _...jesus christ..._

As he looks to the chair, Jensen notices that Jared is now fully awake, but he still niches in the corner of the cushions with his legs extended, huddled under the throw as he stares into the orange flames. Jensen smiles to himself, saying nothing as he strolls across the floor to reach the dresser where his briefs are stored; he takes out a pair, throwing off the towel to pool at his feet as he quietly dresses. He snaps the elastic waistband to his body, opening the bottom drawer to yank out a threadbare, old t-shirt that's faded over several washings. Jensen moves about the room to find the jeans he had on earlier. They're stacked with the rest of the dirty laundry they've collected, along with the soiled bed linens. He ventures over to his closet, pulling out a similar pair of jeans, but these are a rusted black texture and ride low off his hips because of his fluctuating weight loss over the years.

He pads barefoot to the empty side of the chair, perching on the armrest, then sliding his bottom over so he lands on the leftover cushion to turn and fit in the crevice he perfectly lodges into. He tucks his arm around his Omega's shoulders tugging him close to kiss, then rest his face on. “...you look like a man with plenty on his mind.” He bites his lips to keep from grinning like a child as Jared begins to scoot up, giving him more room, then untucks the throw to place Jensen underneath the warmth too.

“A lot can happen in one day.”

“Today is almost over.” Jensen isn't sure he likes how monotone his Omega's voice sounds. He'll add some lightheartedness to change the mood. “I almost freaked in the shower, saw that we'd been here, like, 8hrs...or pushing toward it.”

Jared turns to bury his face away into the side of Jensen's neck. “I wish it could be longer.' He stretches an arm across his Alpha's chest, hand curling about the left ribcage. “Feels like no time has passed for me.”

“ _mmm..._ tha's sweet of you.” Jensen rests his chin on Jared's hair. “I won't be offended if you wanna go downstairs an—”

“ _no-no...not now._ ” Jared brings his hand back to pat Jensen's chest, hand soothing over the softness of the t-shirt. “I'm not done with you yet.”

“uh...” Jensen has no idea what more use Jared could have of him, without nearly killing him dead of pure pleasure. “I jus' showered.”

Jared playfully pushes Jensen, sliding his arm back around the chest. “Not what I meant, Ackles.”

Jensen furrows his brow in deep thought, attempting another crack at humor. “I don't know which is more intimidating, when you say Alpha...or Ackles.”

Though Jared laughs with a roll of his eyes, he begins to move, getting upright, easing out of the chair as he wanders to the fireplace, removes the protective gate and palms the section of cut wood to throw one piece in; it ignites and re-lights to intensify the orange glow in the darkness.

Jensen is concerned as he notices the way Jared holds his shoulders and stares directly into the fire. “Is everything okay?”

Jared slowly nods his head then twists to face Jensen as if he realizes he's being too quiet and cryptic. “I'm about to be.” He unbends his knees to stand, hand to the mantle as he contemplates where he should go next. The warmth of the flames is rather inviting but the need to be near his Alpha—touching, scenting, sharing heat—is what he most craves. But Jared doesn't want coddling, or kisses, or any kind of temptation that will arouse him, so he takes a seat on the ottoman's cushion. He settles facing the wall, offering Jensen his profile to look at as he starts to speak, “Earlier, when Milo was here, he made it clear to me that if I want to gain any kind of trust with you, so we can grow closer, I should share a bit more about some things that can be seen as negative concerning my life, or things that lay behind me, in my past.”

“...Jay, I...” Jensen shakes his head, fairly certain he knows what Jared's about to do.

Jared clamps a hand over Jensen's leg under the throw; he draws up a bent left, placing it flat as he faces his Alpha. “He's right, but he's also wrong.” Jared gives off a hint of a smile. “I've had plenty of time to think about this, before and after, we decided to mate. I've kept things from you, giving you some idea that I never wanted to address the issue or even bring it up as a topic of conversation.” He bows chin to chest as if deeply ashamed. “I'm sorry for that. It was _not_ my intention.”

Jensen knows this isn't a time for him to keep interrupting; he should keep quiet and listen. What he does do is offer out his hand—his right—so he can hold Jared's hand. As he learns more and more about spiritual guiding from his Omega, he understands that simple touch—the hand holding he wants—is a way to ground both of them, letting Jared know he's _here_ and he's _present_ in the moment.

“The more time that passes with you here...and we share in our bodies and we—we step beyond the typical Alpha and Omega relationship, the more I'm convinced I need nothing ' _extraneous_ ' in my life that takes me away from you, from the life we'll build together, and to the life we create...or from this less-than-perfect pack life you've now made me a part of.” Jared smiles to himself, with a soft snort of a laugh. “I've never had that...not the pack life, but something of my own tha's good, that makes me...wanna wake up the next morning and go on with the day.” He shakes his head at his own foolishness over the past few years. “I can see now, for the last several years, I haven't been in my own life to my full capacity, focused on other—things and unaware that I'd just, literally, given up of having a life separate from guiding.” Jared gives a small smirk, but doesn't lift his head. “I remember in my 'cub' years, after leaving Milo's pack...I didn't want my entire life to be about my weird abilities. I only wanted what all my siblings had found.” He shrugs one shoulder weakly, making a sad frown. “ But there wasn't anything I was truly spectacular at except these skills I'd acquired through no fault of mine. When I didn't register as Omega to be available to another New-Freedomer pack, I think other packs' members around us learned what a 'cash cow' I could be, how I had marketable value, so it was easy to toss me away or hand me over to whomever could utilize my abilities. My parents never bothered to understand me or what my pack status meant. In their eyes, Omegas were simply ' _carriers_ '. They had received my mother Omega when she had already been prepared to be their mate, but I'm not sure she even knew _what_ she'd agreed to.” Briefly, Jared lifts his gaze to look at his Alpha. “I notice that in myself, once I began spiritual guiding as a career, not just a natural way about a daily routine.

“For some Omegas, like Milo, it's difficult to hone their skills. It comes out forced and trite. But with me...and very few others—one being my mother Omega—the guiding is like breathing for us, not something we can easily turn off. When she left, I immediately became sure that she ran away without caring about me, that she left me to fend for myself on my own.” Jared tilts his head as if he hears a strange sound, but he's actually slowly recalling how easy it is now to talk about this with Jensen. And he feels stupid for ever holding back. “But years later, I discovered she had been teaching me all along. I had been barely old enough to notice how subtly she had been leaving little lessons, nuggets of information, inside my head. Granted she wasn't there for the moment I knew I was _truly_ Omega, but that mattered less than the bigger picture—how to deal, and cope, with these strange inexplicable abilities of mine. I don't know, though I miss her, she did me a huge favor I can't ever repay her for. She toughened me, made me think for myself and not blatantly trust in the word of others. She helped me be independent, but she also taught me about what real love should feel like. She never wanted me to ' _settle_ ' like she knew she had.

Jared clears his throat, licking his lips as he trudges on,“I know I said, in the tub during my bath, that I'd go back to the center, but I said it as more of a filler, just to assert myself so nobody can tell me what I can or cannot do. Sometimes I feel it's all I am, all I'll be good at, but..” He finally lifts his head, his hazel eyes connecting deeply with the green gaze unwavering from his face. “...being with you, watching you at work, doing what you love most despite when it brings you face-to-face with someone you'd rather not be near.” He shakes his head in fascination as he smiles a little to show how better he feels about everything in his past, and how much he's looking forward to his future. “And now you're brave enough to consider leaving all that safety and comfort—the guarantee of success...to try this business from the ground-up, all on your own, even if you fall on your ass...” Jared hand motions toward Jensen, clamping on a thigh, then lifts to gesture to himself, hand catching in the corduroy folds of the robe. “...it's not any different for me, guiding at the center. I think it's time for me to move on, to let go. It's somewhat true that I do hope my career will help me meet back up with my mother Omega, but I haven't been using that as an excuse to stay for a very long time. Before—yes...but not in the last four years. I simply found myself stuck in a rut, unable to find a way out because I had no other escape route to fall back on. With no sign of a mate in my near future, I didn't think I could leave... ** _ever_**.”

Jensen pulls on Jared's hand. “ _c'mere..._ ” He's unsure if his voice can speak clearly or not, he's rather choked up at the moment.

Jared smiles wide as he allows himself to be manhandled to lay cuddled to Jensen side. “What I felt from, and feel for, my mother Omega has been my only reference to deep love and affection. Resigned to being a guide all my life was my final acceptance to being as much of a freak as I'd always felt. I'd be on the outside looking in, living off other pack members' lives and secretly wishing they were my own.”

“ _—but not now._ ” Jensen nods his head, then rests on top of Jared's head, brushing through the dark locks to entangle them around fingertips.

“no, not now.” Finally, Jared is able to rest, and relax, contentedly against his Alpha's chest. “You don't realize it, but you're saving my life, giving me a new purpose to wanna wake each morning.” He extends both arms around Jensen's frame, holding on tight. “Preferably in your arms an' forever in your heart.”

“ _...always, Jay..._ ” Jensen is glad that Jared can't see the wetness building behind his eyes. “ _...always..._ ”

“I do expect to see her again—some day. But I wouldn't mind.” Jared sighs, closing his eyes as he's feeling a massive burden leaving his shoulders. “Perhaps when I, myself, find out I'm carrying a 'pup'...about to be a mother Omega. But for now, I just want to be here, with you...our pack...in this house as one piece to this whole family.”

“ _...you're welcome..._ ” Jensen simply throws out in a random moment of attempting to be a step ahead of his Omega, except it came a really awkward response to a heartfelt comment.

Jared stutters, tilts his head backward to peek up at Jensen, then they both dissolve into laughter, bodies shaking in tandem.

They don't move for another hour or more, not really caring that it's practically reaching midnight...

 

==&&==&&==  
 **TBC...**


	26. Chapter 26

Jared sits on the side of the bed. He's dressed in normal clothing, putting on cotton socks with slippers as Jensen passes him by with a weird look as he walks out of the bathroom.

Jensen is putting on the chocolate hoodie, periodically playing with the zipper in an up-and-down motion. “Socks... _and_ slippers?” He raises an eyebrow as he leans on the door-jamb. “Isn't that overkill?”

“m'not taking any chances with getting sick.” Jared shrugs one shoulder as he works the heel of the last hard-soled slipper onto his right foot. He purses his lips with some concern and a bit of worry, lowering his voice as he goes on, “Not now. Not when I could be carrying.” Jared doesn't expect his Alpha to walk up and kiss him, but he likes that it happened. “Who's down there?” He watches Jensen stand in front of him, then keeps his head averted as he feels the mattress next to him sink down when Jensen sits.

While Jared had changed into his clothes, Jensen had stepped out into the hall, leaned over the railing to secretly listen to the goings-on down on the first floor. He'd come back with a partial report to appease his Omega's curiosity.

“Sounds like the whole pack.” Jensen glances at Jared with wide eyes, a gradual smile appearing on his lips. He twists to face Jared, drawing up a bent right leg. “Are you sure you wanna do _this_?” He reaches out to grab Jared's arm, first, then slides his hand down to take the hand, tangling their fingers. “Not, like, stay in bed and do this _tomorrow_ night?” Jensen brings the curled fingers to his mouth and presses a light kiss to them.

Jared keeps his head bent, his eyes going to watch the delicate way his Alpha is simply holding and caressing his hand. He knows his nervousness is showing, even as his stomach churns with a deeper sense of dread of what will, or what might, come their way after what transpired tonight between them.

Jensen nods his head in complete understanding of Jared's fear, not just the obvious one but the inner struggle of knowing that not many packs, or pack members, are very welcoming to an Omega spiritual guide. He wants to boost some of his Omega's lost confidence. “I don't know any of them who'd object to you, Jay.” He holds Jared's hand to his chest. “Already you have Milo and Sophia on your side, waiting for me to make a move.” Jensen smirks as he sees Jared react to that last portion. “I'm sure Chad's warming to you...” He moves his hand in the air to count off the rest of the pack names. “...Adrian, Steve...I'm sure Chris isn't far behind, the things you've done for Chad and Steve.”

“I don't know.” Jared shrugs one shoulder then the other in a slow roll. “I'd like it to be smooth sailing, an easy process...but I'm going from _guest_ in Ackles Pack home to lead Alpha's _lifemate_... _his Omega_...”

“yeah? And?” Jensen lifts both eyebrows as if waiting for Jared tot ell him what the big deal is. He soothes over Jared's back to reassure him. “You're worrying for nothing.”

Jared folds his arms over his front, tucking his hand into his arms so only the thumbs peek out. “If I don't worry 'bout _something_ then I won't be prepared if the _nothing_ become _everything_.”

“Well, it's too late.” Jensen pats Jared's flattened thigh, squeezing the shape. “I know I shouldn't have gone around their backs with you, but it's truly none of their business.”

“Don't...” Jared thinks about what word would fit here. “... _threaten_ them, if someone disputes my new status. I'd rather deal with it, if it happens. Up front and with everyone aware.”

“It won't, so stop making yourself ill...—'kay?” Jensen is hating the way Jared looks absolutely petrified to be going downstairs.

“For you, for now.” Jared motions his head toward Jensen, giving out an encouraging smile. “I'll tamp it down.”

“Good. Come on...” Jensen bounces up to stand, then holds out a hand. “...before I chicken out an' lock you in this bedroom.” He catches the way Jared's movements to shift upright are slow and purposeful. “You all right. Are you sore or in pain?”

“A little sore, no pain.” Jared keeps his head bowed as he stares down at the tips of his feet in the slippers. “I think I'm just afraid of collapsing again.” They both begin to walk across the carpeting, side by side, to almost reach the doorway out. “This is the farthest I've wandered from the bed.”

Jensen offers the crook of his elbow of the arm closest to Jared. “Hold onto me. We'll stroll down together.”

==&&==&&==

Jared allows Jensen to lead their duo-parade toward the voices they can hear coming from the dining room. There's a _cling-clang_ of ceramic and silverware as if there's an impromptu meal going on without lead Alpha present. The conversation is lively and it's apparent that one active and booming voice is forefront as he goes about telling his tales of woe on his travels—-it's Christian.

Jensen eagerly beats Jared down to the first floor, waiting for him at the bottom of the landing. He's watching Jared closely, liking the healthy glow about the once deathly pale skin and the doe eyes no longer hold any sign of pain or agony.  
Once Jared reaches Jensen, he playfully shoves him down the last two steps, then loosely wraps his arm around the broad shoulders to tug Jensen closer, placing a quick kiss to his head, over hair. He leans a little heavy, showing he needs some support because the walk down the stairs had been a big jostle; he's a bit light-headed.

Unafraid to show true feelings, Jensen secures a strong, solid arm about Jared's waist. He's excited that Jared quietly succumbed to a personal need without making it a huge deal of a power-play. Like he's willing to be the Omega to an Alpha in front of the pack. Jensen feels Jared nudge his cheek onto his head as they bypass the dining hall entrance and go directly into the second doorway into the kitchen. He drops Jared by a stool, expecting him to sit, but he simply leans against the counter watching Jensen gather their own drinks with the fancy desserts that looked like they'd been brought home from a very trendy, expensive restaurant.

Jensen has the serving utensil poised. “Which one you want?”

Jared glances over. “How 'bout a small sliver of both?”

Jensen pauses, looking down at his huge slice. “Damn, tha's actually a good idea.” So he cuts his own piece, giving one half to Jared's plate, then does the same for the other. He wipes off the remnants from the serving utensil with a finger, tasting the delicacy. “...wow...that is rich...fatty, but damn good.” Jensen takes a final slide over the metal, offering his thumb to Jared who behaves and only tastes with a skimming nibble from his front teeth.

“mmm...the mix of them is good.” Jared reaches over to pick up both plates with the forks. “I got these.”

“I'll be in once the hot water boils.”

Jared turns a bit to back-walk a few steps. “Any particular seat you wanna take?”

“Wha—? I...” Jensen is able to take a peek into the dining hall to see that his captain's chair has been pushed out-of-the-way; this is where Christian stands to command the room's attention. The Alpha has been in and out of his suitcases and primary duffel, handing out “gifts” to some of the pack as he converses.

A few heads turn as Jared enters, but he ignores them as he concentrates on making a beeline to his usual chair beside Chad. Chad seems refreshed and happy that his Alpha is back home. He does spare Jared a smile with a lift of his chin, but then he's right back to being mesmerized by Christian's animated storytelling.

Jared simply waits patiently for Jensen to show because he wants to have the hot beverage to go with his desserts. He does glance up to catch Sophia's eye, then looks to the fact that Steve is beside her, arm around the top of her chair. It's obvious now that Milo and Adrian have switched to Chad's side of the table for this conversation.

The room goes a bit more quiet and electric once it's noticed that Jensen strolls in, but he pays them no mind—-not even seeing Christian's quick shuffle to move the captain's chair back, stepping from the front of the table. Jensen only has attention and intent toward Jared; he's actually pushing the empty chair beside his Omega backward with his hip, then foot, so he can have room to put down their saucers and cups. There's a sudden dash of swiping fingers over Jared's left cheek, clamping his shoulder with a small squeeze, and once Jensen's seated, he sips at his coffee and snickers when Jared leans in to tell him something funny.

It's not mandatory that Jensen _always_ sits at the head of the long dining table, but it _is_ strange for him to step back from the center and not command the room once he's entered the area. Then what stuns everyone is his utter disinterest in Christian's tales, with this sole focus on Jared that makes heads turn and stare wide-eyed and slack-jawed.

A few seconds more pass and then Sophia let's out a girlish squeal that silences all the men. She jumps out of her chair, slipping behind Steve to come around the other end of the table. Sophia rounds the two chairs that Jared and Jensen sit on, fitting in between them momentarily, then she hugs Jared from the back, unable to quell her giggling and her want to smoosh-smooch Jared's face.

With one arm still around Jared, Sophia wraps the other around Jensen. “I'm so god-damn fuckin' happy for you...” She nuzzles and kisses Jensen's blushing cheek, then goes back to almost nibbling off Jared's face. “ ** _—-an' you!!_** Mi'o was jus' goin' on 'bout you two _not_ comin' down an' then **_this_**!” It's pretty clear that Sophia has been drinking for a while; she's a lot more friendly and less tight-assed than usual in public. She grabs for Jared's hand where the two rings are. “Ackles Pack an'—?” Sophia's brow wrinkles in confusion. “Wha's _this_?”

“It's an Ackles Omega tradition...” Jared twists away from the rest of the table to watch Sophia, then spare a glance at his Alpha. “...a mating band.”

“It's gorgeous.” Sophia's tone has a tinge of jealousy tacked on, though she's in no way trying to compete with Jared.

Jensen lifts up his chin with some pride. “It's an _antique_ heirloom.”

“Your moms gave it to you?” Sophia tilts her head toward Jensen, then side-glances at the fascinating combination of the two rings as a pair. Maybe it's just that Jared has such huge hands with long fingers that make the symbolism of the rings seem more prominent.

“yeah.” Jensen looks goofily at Jared. “It's like they knew I'd only mate _once_...” He reaches out to snag Jared's hand and gives him a hard squeeze before he lets the fingers go. “...and find my lifemate.”

“Soulmate.” Sophia corrects as she leans into Jared's chair and then into Jared himself. Only a few minutes longer for her to try standing on her own, before it's clear she needs to sit down.

“Same thing.” Jared mumbles as he feels like hundreds of eyes on him as he holds Sophia in his lap. He sighs heavy as he senses Sophia's fingers sifting through his hair; she won't get off him, just hugs him like her favorite stuffed teddy bear.

The whole of the table rises, chair legs scraping quite loudly on the hardwood floor as voices pick up in congratulations. The pack members are coming around to wish their lead Alpha the best, only able to pat Jared's free shoulder as Sophia has draped herself over half of his body.

Jared looks up at Steve. “I'm sorry.” He mumbles out as he rubs over Sophia's back.

Steve shrugs nonchalantly, then moves to lean his backside on the edge of the table. He's feeling a bit tipsy himself. “She's a little drunk on fine wine at the moment.”

Jared allows Sophia to huddle into him, resting his cheek on top of her soft plait of hair. “Did she eat?”

“yes, I fed her.” Steve smirks as he catches Sophia lifting her head from Jared's neck to look into her dilated eyes. “Ingrate.” Steve mumbles as he lightly shoves at Jared with his knee. “You got her started at lunch. We made a late evening kitchen stop at Eros.”

“ _aww..._ ” Jared gives Sophia a squeeze. “How cool?” He catches Sophia's wide smile, but he knows he's not going to get any coherent answers from her so he starts asking Steve the questions. “Russette showed you the kitchen?”

Steve rolls his eyes, looking a little more soused than he's used to. “Yes. We ate _right_ at his station...” He rubs at the corner of his eyes, then strokes along his nose. He still can't believe where they've been for the past four hours. Steve is on a natural high as well. “...also got to trade food tips and tricks. It was like a culinary orgasm.”

“oh, my...” Milo puts a hand to his chest. “I need to hear this story, like, pronto.” Then he swats Jared. “Idiot. You went to Eros without me an' brought me nothin'.” He crosses his arms above his protruding belly, then pouts like the child he's acting like.

“Ero gave us _these_ desserts.” Sophia finally lifts her head as she picks up Jared's fork to scoot around the tasty treat. “We'll make a reservation next month for Chad's birthday.” She states the comment a bit louder so everyone can hear—-even the birthday boy himself.

Chad plugs his ears. “ _Lalalala_...I didn't hear a thing.” Everyone laughs as he lightly punches Jared's arm. “Dude!...you snagged lead Alpha...” He's damn impressed by his brother Omega's sneaky ways and tactics. “... _our_ lead Alpha...Jensen, the elusive bachelor Alpha...” It's amazing to him because he always thought Jensen would just stay a bachelor for as long as his father was still alive, refusing to succumb to traditional mating just to appease Ackles' pack life.

Sophia tsks. “Tha's not fair, Chad. I don't blame Jen. Frankly, I'd be picky too, if I were him.” She looks down at Jared, smirking. “I knew if he waited long enough he'd find his perfect one.” Sophia gets misty-eyed and serious. “I'm really happy for you, Jared.”

“Thanks, _love_...means a lot to me.” Jared soaks up more of Sophia's snuggling and kisses. He glances over his shoulder to notice no Alphas were there. “Did I miss something?”

Steve had watched Christian wave to Adrian and then grabbed Jensen to make a head gesture they should go into Jensen's office to discuss something in private. He didn't know what, but it seemed to have been irking Christian something fierce. “Impromptu Alpha pow-wow, I assume.”

“oh, god.” Milo rolls his eyes.

Chad elbows Steve, snortling out a chuckle. “I bet you, ten-to-one...they're ribbin' Jen, 'bout not tellin' them a thing. Not bein' in the loop.”

Sophia shakes her head, patting the flat of her palm against Jared's chest. “Jensen owes them _no_ explanation until he knows for sure himself.” She sniffs out her disappointment in the Alphas—-mainly Christian—-taking away the special moment of Jared and Jensen finally mating. “He's a big boy. He doesn't need their hand-holding.”

Milo bites inside his cheek to keep from saying something a bit more upsetting. “Don't tell Chris that.”

“ ** _Mi'o!!_** ” Sophia acts outraged.

“What? He's lead fuckin' Alpha...” Milo barks out roughly, not caring how loud he gets or who hears him. “...he can do whatever the fuck he wants.”

Sophia throws her hand up in the air to show how strongly she believes this for Jensen. “Yes, I agree. It's _his_ life. He does enough for us...sacrificed a lot so we can find our own mates.” She softens her tone as she stares down into Jared's face, then curves her hand around Jared's shoulder joint to soothe up and down the thick biceps. “I say this is long overdue.”

“c'mon, missy...” Steve makes a small move to gently pull Sophia off Jared's lap before she becomes permanently attached. “...I think it's way-past your bedtime.”

Sophia pouts, still needing connections with Jared as she clings to his arm. “nah, man...I'm good.”

“Soph, you can barely keep your eyes open.” Steve doesn't want to put a damper on Sophia's excitement, but he does try to insinuate to her that this just means _they_ can head to bed early, so _they_ can be alone, in her bed, together.

“...an' tha's not my fault, is it?” Sophia bumps her body against Steve's, then easily transfers affection from Jared to Steve. She knows better than to argue with her fellow Beta. “...'night boys.”

“See you in the mornin', Soph.” Milo throws out the words for both he and Chad.

Sophia nods her head then leads in to frame Jared's face in her palms. “ _...welcome to pack...welcome to family..._ ” She soothes her flushed cheek with Jared's, not expecting him to climb to his great height and swoop in to embrace her tight so her feet don't even touch the floor. Sophia secures both arms around Jared's neck, buries her face in neck and hair, starting to sniffle. Jared's a little startled by the sound and feel of possible tears; he doubts Sophia is _this_ emotional over him. He sets her down gently, sending her off with Steve.

The three Omegas stay silent as they watch the two Betas lean into one another, laughing and carrying on as they make their way out of the dining hall, then down the foyer to the main staircase to head on up to bed.

“What in the hell was _that_?” Chad inquires with a furrowed brow.

Milo shakes his head. “Leave her alone.” Yes, he had been paying close attention to a shift in Sophia and Steve tonight, but he didn't want to make it that huge of a deal until the Betas did. “Family and pack mean a lot to her.” Milo made it seem like he was admonishing for Sophia's over-emotional reaction.

“No...yeah, _that_ I know, man...but...” Chad looks between both Milo and Jared. “...am I jus' the only one who sees **_it_**?”

As Jared relaxes in his chair by crossing a leg over his knee, Milo situates himself against the table, backside pushed up against the ledge. “Sees _what_ , genius?”

“Steve and Sophia?” Chad raises both eyebrows, his two hands spread apart like he's motioning to each of them. “Were you _not_ here this whole time, watching them across the table? This made-up story of this Chef Eros?” He can't believe that the two most spiritually connected Omegas can't seem to “get it”, or maybe they do and they just like taunting him.

“It's _Ero_ Russette, Chad.” Milo corrects with a lowering of his voice, hoping he's not offending Chad. “ _Eros_ is the restaurant.”

“Whatever.” Chad waves his hand in mid-air as if to brush off the correction. “They're acting weird...well, weirder than usual and they kept lookin' at each other with, like, _odd_ glances.” He scrunches his face up as he keeps shifting his eyes between Milo and Jared. “Like they have a secret and they don't feel like sharing.” Chad laughs at his own comment, thinking his brother Omegas would join in.

“Who can blame them, huh?” Milo looks across the room, then bows his chin to chest. “It's none of our business unless they _make_ it our business.”

Chad's a bit dumbfounded by Milo's non-reaction. “Aren't you curious, at least? It's _your_ mated Beta.” He thought, at least, Milo would care on a level for his own Alpha.

“yeah...” Milo tilts his head to stare hard at Chad; he's still a bit sensitive with his brother Omega at this point, even hours after the fact. “...an' she's always been her own woman. She's old enough to know who she is, what she wants and needs. I don't react unless my Alpha does...” He hates how that sounds—-like he's cowering under his mate's control. Luckily, he and Adrian are freakish enough to often share a brain, with like-minded thoughts. “...an' Adrian seems fine with whatever Soph is doing to make herself happy.” Milo has never gotten, or wanted to get, in between Alpha and Beta's relationship unless it directly concerned him.

“yeah, but...” Chad moves to retake his seat, situating the chair to face Milo and Jared. “...there's ' _happy_ ' and then there's fuckin' ' _runnin' the whole rainbow of emotions_ ' to an extreme.” He knows he wasn't the only pack member to spot Sophia's swirl-bag of emotions tonight.

Milo shakes his head, knowing exactly why Chad kept nosing where he didn't belong. “You only care 'cuz it's Steve.”

“I care 'bout Soph, too, man.” Chad seems chuffed that Milo would think him that shallow. “I'm not jealous...a bit confused, but curious.”

Milo looks down at the dessert plates that are strewn over the table. “Anybody want anymore?” He points into the kitchen doorway. “I'll put dishes away, if you don't.”

Chad soothes a circle over his belly as he sticks it out. “I'm full, but I could use a refill on my coffee.” He snatches up his coffee mug by the handle, pushing off the chair to head into the kitchen to do just that.

“Someone go see if _The Men_ need anything.” Milo throws out in the air, not caring who obeys; he will go if neither Chad or Jared check for him. “More dessert or a round of beer.”

Jared raises his hand. “I'll go.” He leaves before either Omega can make a counteroffer.

Chad still won't let the prior subject matter go as he and Milo both wander into the kitchen together; he almost elbows Milo in the side, merely catching the line of his back. “...seriously, dude...you're not the least bit concerned?”

Jared softly snickers and smiles as he folds his arms to walk the distance to Jensen's office. He's a little put-off by the fact he can hear voices and the door is open. He would've assumed an Alpha 'pow-wow' would be a closed door session, especially if the topic on the table were anyone specific.

==&&==&&==

“...so I get in bed and—- _fuck, man_...a little less than an hour later, he's quietly laying there beside me, _not_ moving, just staring at the ceiling.” Christian downs the rest of his drink, glaring at the bottom, then paces over to the wet bar for a refill. “I thought we'd knot again, but he wouldn't respond to my touch. Then—- ** _shit!_**...he says something to the point that what we did today may not have been such a good idea.”

“ ** _What?!_** ” Adrian sounds a bit outraged as he stuffs balled fists into his trouser pockets.

Jensen furrows his brow in perplexity. “Why would Chad say something like _that_?” He stares long at Christian as if the Alpha will suddenly confess something he had done to make his Omega say such words.

“I don't really know.” Christian shrugs his shoulders, then twists around to face his brother Alpha directly. “But, tell me, Adrian...” He brings the glass to his lips, tilting it back to pour into his mouth but pauses as he speaks with a lift to one dark eyebrow. “...why did _my_ Omega get his sweet ass chewed out by _your_ Omega?”

“ ** _Milo?!_** Why did he—?” Adrian glances at Jensen. “Do _you_ know anything about _this_?”

Jensen holds both hands up, palms out, in his defense. “I've been with Jared since I came home this afternoon.”

Adrian looks to Christian. “...an' did you _ask_ Chad or Milo what went on?” He knows his brother Alpha has a tendency to jump to these massive incorrect conclusions. Like he was a born shit-stirrer.

“Yes, but they're _both_ pretty cryptic.” Christian waves his hand from side to side in the air, like he can't be bothered to actually find out details. It's enough that he's been treated like he's beneath his own Omega. “Something to do with Chad's next heat and then—-I'm not so clear on this...somehow he needed to have...” He gestures toward Jensen with a roll of his free hand. “... _your_ Omega's permission of approval.”

Jensen touches his own chest. “ _My_ Omega?” He doesn't even want to start this pettiness right now; he's not in the mood. “You mean—- _Jared_?” Jense can feel himself tensing, only to prepare himself against whatever crap might be coming his way.

“yeah... _Jared_.” Christian's tone drips with slight venom.

Adrian and Jensen glance to one another, both still unclear to what Christian could mean. Adrian knows how his brother Alpha can fly off the handle at a moment's notice; he's been on the receiving end of some of those times.

“Are you sure you heard it right?” Adrian moves to sit on the farthest armrest of the leather sofa, closest to the window. “I'm sure our Omegas have their own way of communicating and dealing with each other.” He's glancing between Christian and Jensen, and for the first time he sees how unevenly matched the two Alphas are. Long-time best friends since childhood, and now with one insertion of a mate into Jensen's world, it's like they're complete strangers. “ ** _I_** know Milo... ** _you_** know Chad best...” Adrian motions to Christian at the last portion, then he looks to Jensen for guidance. “...does this sound like we need to intervene as Alphas and make it a pack issue on the table?”

Christian downs the rest of the liquor, slamming the glass on the counter. “Alls I know is...” He places hands on his hips as he turns to face both of his brother Alphas together. “...I don't need random pack members in _my_ bedroom, nosyin' 'round in _my_ business, then bullyin' and scaring' one of _my_ mates.” Christian can hear his voice getting louder in his head, hoping it comes out not so harshly in reality.

“oh, please...” Adrian snorts out an outright laugh, not even waiting for Jensen to respond. “Chad's a big boy, Chris, not a naïve 'cub'. If he came to you blubberin' and tattlin', sobbin' his teeny Omega heart out, I'd be concerned.” He folds his arms over his chest, blowing off Christian's worry. “This sounds like it's between them an' we should stay the hell outta their shit, man.”

“I would, Adrian,” Christian tilts his head as he stares at Adrian with a lift of his chin. “if I wasn't convinced this stems directly from this new spiritual crap and this Omega Circle bullshit.”

“Chris...” Jensen closes his eyes as if he can feel the strike of pain Christian's words intended for Jared

“Well, now the real truth comes out.” Adrian shakes his head with a curt chuckle as if he knew Christian would act this way to any change Jensen brought to the pack that could shake his fellow Alpha's foundation.

Christian folds his arms and turns an intense glare on Adrian. “What are you trying to say?”

Adrian isn't intimidated by Christian's body language or his tone of voice. “No matter how you persuade us that you've changed...that you've become more open-minded, you still have problems with Omegas.” He blinks slow, and intentional, as he almost lets out a deep sigh of exasperation. “Particularly when they show _any_ amount of strength or superiority over you.”

“ _oh, jesus christ_...” Christian twists away in disgust, feeling like he has to pace in an opposite direction or else he'll bolt across the room and attack his brother Alpha. He has to try and curb his temperament. “...you couldn't be more wrong.” Christian shakes his head at how wrong Adrian has been.

“No, I think I'm more right than any of us truly think.” Adrian holds his head high, not even sparing a side-glance to Jensen to make sure it was all right that he speak this way to Christian. He is aware of how frustrated both he and Jensen have become with their fellow Alpha, so he knows he's on the right track with what to say and how to respond. Jensen hasn't reached a point where he can vocally express his truer feelings without upsetting a certain balance as lead Alpha; Adrian will gladly take up some of the slack.

“That may have been true, at first, but once Chad...” Christian twists around to explain himself, but the moment seems too far gone to be diplomatic about reasons and excuses.

“Admit it.” Adrian starts to interrupt, not sure Christian realizes what he's doing or what he does half the time. “You liked Chad because he adored you even before you two met, got to know one another.” He's somehow able to see his brother Alpha's tendencies now, in a clearer light than he ever has before. “You loved the attention, loved the commonality of music you shared—- _your music_ especially...an' the stuff that inspires and motivates you.” Adrian is getting to understand Christian better the more he talks out loud, revealing every single one of his thoughts over the last few weeks. “Chad was a ready-set mate for you 'cuz it was built-in that he'd fall pretty hard, or was about to fall in love with you already. Now, all you had to do was charm and seduce him to your bed.”

“You enjoyin' _this_?” Christian snaps back harshly, wishing desperately for another person to help defend himself. He's periodically side-glancing at Jensen, but for some reason his brother Alpha has gone deathly silent, and looks to be contemplating everything Adrian has been saying. “Puttin' me under your self-righteous microscope, pointing out every one of my faults?”

“No, I don't,” Adrian sniffles out a chuckle, shaking his head in disagreement. “because despite what a prick you can be, I actually _like_ you.” He rolls his hand toward Christian, then slides his hand down in mid-air to mean the whole aura the Alpha gives off with this particular body language. “When you're more your true self an' not this pig-headed, chest-bumping wanna-be lead Alpha.” It's easy to spot when Christian is on the defensive.

Christian tights his jaw in tension, working to slide his teeth together as he opens his mouth to talk, “I did everything I could that went beyond my own comfort zone to make sure my Omega _knew_ and _understood_...he was safe with me.”

Adrian will give Christian credit there, but not for so many other things he's at fault for, and won't take blame on. “You could've been a bigger man an' _not_ had sex, then you probably could've gotten to that _root issue_ of Chad's sooner.” It's taken him this long to realize how easy it was to figure this shit out. “ _Two years_ , Chris...I applaud your willpower, but, man...” Adrian smooths a hand along the flat of one thigh, then leans back on the other hand against the back cushion of the couch. “...you made it clear to your Omega that it's _all_ about the sex, mating and knotting with you.”

Christian walks across the room to make his way to another, smaller, window, overlooking the backyard of the property. “Doesn't even count that I tried to find _other_ ways to get him to talk to me so we could jump this hurdle?”

Adrian lifts a curious eyebrow, raising his chin a bit high. “Exactly _when_ did you start this self-discovery, huh? When you were so outta your mind horny and dying to knot you would've sacrificed _anything_?” He shakes his head, saddened at how low his brother Alpha has sunk at times just to be with his mates, then rubs his chin. Why does Christian try to make his life so damn hard to live sometimes? “I may not have known you all my life—-like Jensen or Steve, but I think I've gotten to know you—- _both_ sides of you. I think you like _this_...” Adrian flutters his hand in the air as if Chad's here, then makes specific motions with his fingers to show more meaning to his words. “...you like Chad broken and vulnerable, just enough that he's weakened so when you come in—-swooping through with your damn hero-complex—-you make it seem like **_you'_** re his _only_ answer.”

Christian bows his head, half-turning his head to spare a mere look toward Adrian as he seethes in growing anger. “Been holdin' _this_ in for a long time, haven't you?”

“No, Chris...” Adrian sighs, swiping a hand over the side of his face as he folds his fingers together, then drapes the bond over one knee. He twists his body to face where Christian stands near the window, alone with shoulders hunched. “I'm starting to see that **_I_** 've been charmed, and seduced, by you as well.” He curls a hand into a fist and touches his own chest. “Here I've been thinking Milo was _just being Milo_ an' stirring up shit, but I'm able to see... _and hear_ , you're almost ready to go after Jared. Yet another strong opinionated Omega who pulls no punches.”

“ ** _I am not!_** ” Christian turns to Jensen who has averted his head and eyes just minutes ago, like he can't bear to look at him directly. “Jen, I'm not...”

Jensen begins to speak as his head is bowed, then lifts as he continues, “Why did you drag me in here, Chris, if it _wasn't_ to try and convince me to join your side in this?” He shrugs both shoulders, hoping for an answer—-an honest, heartfelt answer. “Your Alpha mentality to let me know _who_ my Omega—-Jared—- _really_ is.” Jensen crosses his arms in a form of protection to not just his body but his own personal emotions for his brother Alpha. He knew that he might have some difficult roads to journey on but not this early; Jared _knew_ it, like he would _always_ be prepared for. “I can hear it in your voice that you wanna tell me whatever's been brewing in your mind about him. _For what_? What purpose does bringing me into my own office, with Adrian in tow, do but boost your ego?”

“Jen, I'm not...” Christian turns from the window, softening his tone once his eyes settle on Jensen across the room.

Jared can't take anymore, so he knocks on the wall as he comes around the doorway. “It's only _me_ , Alphas.” He doesn't bother looking at any particular face, just speaks to the room, in general, but he knows two pairs of eyes support him and a third pair stares at him with a pinch of frustration at him barging in on a private conversation. “I'd suggest shutting the door completely the _next_ time.” Jared entangles his fingers, dangling his arms down his frame. He sniffs out a short laugh, then tilts his head at a curious angle. “Guess it's true what they say about conversations like these, when you hide and try to listen in... _it's never gonna be good news_.”

The whole room goes silent and the Alphas are unable to look at Jared as he strolls further into the room. He sidles up to the side of Jensen's desk, leaning his hip on the edge as he folds arms over his chest, tucking his hands in.

Christian appears to release a painful smile, like he was holding back certain emotions for the benefit of keeping calm with his brother Alphas. “This _doesn't_ concern **_you_**.”

==&&==&&==  
 **TBC..**


	27. Chapter 27

Both Jensen and Adrian sigh, almost in sync, then wait for Jared to retort. Their brother Alpha would _never_ learn.

“eh, beg to differ.” Jared tilts his head at an angle, then lets out a hint of a smile off one side of his mouth. “I hear my name...an' Milo's. Seems to me, if you're to get any headway with this issue, you'll be better off coming directly to _me_ or _Milo_ , not Jensen and Adrian.” He's not even bothering to look at anyone else but Christian. It's okay; he's stared down other more intimidating Alphas before.

Christian snorts out an airy laugh, then glances at Jensen as if to wait for his best friend to come to his defense. “Jen...”

“Sorry, man.” Jensen shakes his head, backing up to sit on the edge of his desk. He motions his head toward the direction Jared stands. “I'm with Jared on this one.”

Christian looks to Adrian who's been watching the floor, or his feet. “You too, _Judas_?”

Adrian lifts his head, flinching at the old nickname. “... _niiiccce_ one, Chris.” He glances over at Jensen, about to get up from where he's perched. “I'll be happy to go get him, if you'd—”

Milo pushes the door even wider as he steps in with a bit of drama and attitude; his hands push off his lower back and juts out his belly. “Don't worry, _darlin'_...I heard my name on my way here.” He looks about the office, feeling the tension generating.

“ _oh, jesus..._ ” Christian swipes over one side of his face and turns his back.

“Lemme guess...” Milo shoots a glare toward the huffing-n-puffing Alpha. “...you were either told about my talk with your Omega or you overheard us in my bedroom.”

Christian spins to face Milo, soothing his hand over his nape. “My Omega has barely said a word to me.” He shrugs one shoulder as if he could care less whether he's directing his anger in the right place or not. He's beginning to think he has no support at all in this room. “I'm goin' on pure instinct.”

“eh, well,” Milo juts his chin high. “...no wonder your ego's so inflated.”

“ _Milo..._ ” Adrian tries to make some gesture to stop what might happen. He doesn't want to curb his Omega, only dampen his temper.

Milo nods his head, closing his eyes as if telling his Alpha he's going to be okay; he'll control himself to a certain degree. “Somebody wanna tell me wha's going on?” He looks around the room at the faces of the Alphas. “What wild rumors have been spread about me? ...about Jared?”

“Can we all just...” Jared heaves a deep breath through his nostrils, “...agree to sit down and put us on _one_ level so we can discuss this without buttin' heads or egos?” He hates how some people are standing, while others are sitting down.

Milo moves to shut the open door, then Adrian moves down to the corner end, on the left side of the couch cushions, to make room for his Omega. Jared guides Milo ahead of him to take the middle hump, then he offers Jensen a chance to sit, but his Alpha takes the arm of the couch, motioning for Jared to take the offered seat. Christian thinks about standing, maybe pacing, but he feels a little outnumbered with the possibility of no support from his brother Alphas.

Jared leans forward, elbows on his thighs as he dangles hands between his knees. “What _exactly_ started this, uh...whole thing?” He swirls one hand with index finger pointed out to motion that this “thing” actually existed in the room.

Christian opens his mouth, but Milo clears his throat to boom his voice before the Alpha can take control.

“I found Chad and Chris knotted on Chad's bedroom floor.” Milo crosses his arms as he puffs out the answer.

There's a deafening silence. Some are taking careful looks at each other. Christian decides it's probably good form to take a seat, but it's far across the other side of the room, separate from the other pack members. He crosses an ankle over a knee then slouches on the seat to appear calm and relaxed.

Jared allows the news to sink in. “Is this _true_ , Alpha?” He knows he shouldn't use full first names, nor shorthand; he has to define pack statuses to contain emotions.

Christian nods, his jaw is clenching hard. “Chad now seems to think we _never_ should've knotted. Like he may need some kind of a, uhm...' _approval_ ' from you. Or maybe it was your _permission_.” He shrugs his shoulders like he's utterly clueless. “I don't know. Is he right?”

“To a degree.” Jared rubs over cheek, then rests his elbow down to settle his chin into his palm. “Neither is wrong.”

“ ** _Excuse me?!_** ” Christian can't believe what he's hearing.

“While you've been away, I've been working with Chad.” Jared shrugs his shoulders as if it's not something to get upset about; Christian knew he was going to talk with Chad whenever they could get together privately. “Probably the reason you were able to knot him. He's gained some confidence and control. I was preparing him to reach his heat, help him through...then to eventually—gradually, step into knotting, but...” He rolls his hand toward the Alpha, meaning to gesture in that fact that Christian took back control of his Omega.

Christian narrows his gaze on Jared, not caring if he's offensive or not. “What gives you the right to say _when_ and _where_ I can knot my Omega?”

“ **You.Weren't.Here.** ” Jared attempts not to raise his voice, keeping it at an even keel, to not sound too overly frustrated, but it was obvious that only one other person knew when or if Christian was to ever return. “For all your Omega knew, Alpha...you were _never_ coming back. Or whether you would hold your return home a few days longer, past his heat.”

Milo is finding this situation much more interesting than he once had thought, because either Chad has tried to get him in trouble or Christian has blown the whole thing all out of proportions. “...and what ** _I_** told Chad was he should've been clearer with Jared.” He leans against Jared, bumping him with his arm slightly to show his brother Omega he had his support in this; he wouldn't let him down. “Been more honest because it's not fair to Jared for him to have given away all his personal time to work with Chad an' then he throws every effort away just to please... _you_.”

“I'm his Alpha.” Christian bites back with a near-snarl to his lip.

Milo's not deterred by the growling or the mean-look Christian tries to throw at him. “Which isn't always a good thing when Chad's been in ' _therapy_ ' sessions and you barge right back in and take charge again.”

“Chad wasn't fighting me.” Christian doesn't understand why everyone makes it seem like he kidnapped his own Omega and forced him to bend to his will. “He came to me willingly.”

Jared looks down solemnly, while Milo's a bit more loud with his eye-rolling and a gruff noise under his throat.

“You should've come straight home, Chris.” Adrian offers out in an attempt to help his brother Alpha along to comprehend what he's done.

Christian narrows his eyes on Adrian. “I'm my own man and...Chad is _my_ mate... _my_ Omega. I needed him to know where we stood.”

“Again...” Adrian throws a hand up, slapping his thigh. “—you cornered him in a room and you gave him an ultimatum he felt he had to give himself over to you.” He puts out his right hand, palm up, then slaps the top of his left hand into the palm. “Tha's not how pack life rolls, man. Tha's cold-hearted.”

“ _You_ agree with _them_?” Christian points a finger from the Omegas to his brother Alpha, Adrian. “How wrong is _this_?” Then he glances to his sole savior, Jensen, in hopes of finding some support in his best friend.

“I know Alphas.” Jensen hopes that what he has to say sticks with Christian. “I know Omegas. I probably know them better than most Alphas.”

“So you _do_ agree with them that I'm in the wrong?” Christian says this slow enough to let what's occurring sink in his head—he is now without anyone's support.

“I think they have a right to explain themselves.” Jensen doesn't know why Christian won't even let the Omegas speak their peace so he finally knows exactly the details of what happened and why his Omega may be in dire jeopardy with his health. “And for you to stop using Alpha mentality to make your point stronger.” He clears his throat and leans his head to the side to look at his brother Alpha. “Did Chad even _know_ you'd be coming back today?”

“No.” Christian shakes his head, wondering why that could be such a bad thing.

“Why not?” Jensen isn't sure why Christian would've kept that information from Chad, especially if he intended to come home and knot him.

“Because...I was upset, needed some time to—”

Adrian furrows his brow. “...but _Steve_ knew?”

“yeah, I talked to him by emails...an' texts.”

“But _not_ to Chad?” Jensen is finding this strange that Christian would talk to one mate but not the other. The one he had left town because of and was returning home for to work on their relationship.

Christian snickers as if he finds this hilarious. “Tha's a bit redundant.”

Milo crinkles his face in a weird look of confusion. “So you left it up to _your Beta_ to talk to _your Omega_?”

“yeah...” Christian doesn't see what he's done wrong; he lets his gaze wander around the different faces with pretty much the same look of sadness. “I've always done it that way.”

“ _jesus_ , Chris...no wonder you got the poor boy in a tailspin.” Adrian shakes his head shamefully. “It's not up to your Beta to take care of your Omega.” Inside his head, he's thankful that he developed such an open relationship with Milo so that they didn't get into these kinds of confusing situations. “It's more than likely how Steve's always handled your outside matings when you _weren't_ serious, but...” Adrian sticks out one hand and bunches it into a tight fist to show Christian that being mates with another pack member had to take _some_ importance. You were lucky to even find the perfect ones who didn't keep making trouble for you. “...now you are.”

Milo stares dumbfounded. “You keep talkin' like Chad's _yours_...like you take responsibility for him, but you really don't, do you?” He's starting to realize why Chad's been screwing up so often; it really hasn't been his fault entirely on some levels. Chad simply leaves too much trust in his Alpha and has been lead completely astray. “After all, you're the one who gets to run away while they both stay here an' try to deal with the fallout. Survive on their own.”

“I'm not running away.” Christian is offended by Milo's insistence that he uses leaving for out-of-town gigs as an excuse to run away from his mates. “KANE is my job. If I plan to make money, make a name for my band...my music. I need to get out there and perform gigs.”

Adrian sits back into the cushions, crossing a leg over a knee as he sets an arm around the back of the couch. “The pack isn't exactly homeless and destitute, Chris.” He laughs lightly as he pulls on the knee of his trouser leg, then folds his hands on a thigh. “I know there's protocol with an album release, even a single, but _you are_ ** _pack_**...that should be top priority. And I don't mean ' _us_ ', man...” He motions to the three Alphas or even all the pack members; he means Christian's tiny pack he's created on his own with his mates. “...I mean Steve and Chad.”

Christian holds up his hands like he's trying to apologize, but doesn't know what for. “So what is it we've done tha's so damn wrong?”

“You took him before he went into heat.” Milo reiterates what this discussion is all about.

“...because it's not about a 'pup' with me.” Christian adds with a certain harshness to his tone.

Adrian nods his head, accepting that as a good reason, but he's still unsure Christian is fully understanding. “Tha's well and good, but Omegas have delicate systems that need to be adhered to.” He can give Milo as a good reason to _not_ mess around with mother nature and an Omega's system.

“There's always birth control during heats, Chris.” Jensen stares across at Christian, still in shock about some of the things he's just finding out about who his brother Alpha is with his mates. He had no idea he used Steve as a go-between with Chad. That, in-and-of-itself, was wrong. “I know you know this.”

“I do, but...” Christian makes a face, sticking his tongue into his cheek. He looks to both Adrian and Jensen, knowing they are aware of what he means. “...you know it feels better when there's _nothing_ between us.”

Adrian throws his hands up in exasperation. That's about the dumbest thing an Alpha can say; it's something an Alpha 'cub' would claim. “So then fucking wait a day or two when he's well past his heat and both of you can discuss how to exactly go about beginning to knot.”

Christian shrugs one shoulder, bowing his head as he mutters, “I didn't want to wait.”

Milo sighs heavily, then almost throws himself back into the cushions. Adrian is there to slide his arm around Milo's shoulders to calm him down some. “You wanted what you wanted, then and there...” He's slowly shaking his head in disbelief, not willing to look at Christian—he's so fucking angry at the Alpha. “...not caring _what_ Chad felt.” Milo does spare a glance at his Alpha; their eyes catch and they both are a little relieved this _isn't_ them. Milo puts down a hand to cover Adrian's thigh and rub the trouser material over the skin; he keeps his arm there to rest as he huddles under his Alpha's side for warmth.

“No, no...” Adrian talks to his Omega as if they're alone and no one else is around. “...see, Chris knew by then Chad wouldn't be able to resist. There was no way he'd be refused this time.” He's not going to look at Christian, because if he does he'll reach across and snap his neck.

Milo nods his head, smirking as he gazes over at Christian, sweeping a hand from his temple in mock-salute. “My hat off to you, Alpha, you _do_ know your Omega very well.”

“Jay...” Jensen places a comforting hand on Jared's shoulder, giving him a slight squeeze. “...you've been awful quiet.” He's done listening to Christian yap his mouth; nothing is being resolved. They're only finding out just what kind of a murky hell Chad's been trying to live in. “Is this...well, _will_ this become a bigger problem down the road?”

“It could.” Jared nods once, then leans into Jensen, thankful for his mild touch to comfort him. He isn't steaming angry like people had assumed he would be; he's more concerned about Chad at this point.

Jensen keeps his head bowed, letting his hand come up and soothe over Jared's hair and then down to his nape to massage the muscles and tendons straining. “Like with what we just went through with you?”

Christian and Adrian look to Jared, then Milo.

Jensen smooths a hand over Jared's back, then caresses his cheek.

Milo pats Jared's huge kneecap. “Is it okay if I—?” He's motioning as if to ask Jared if he can go ahead and explain for him.

Jared nods as he raises his arm to slide up and over to stretch across Jensen's leg. “It's fine.”

Milo clears his throat, looking to Adrian then lowering his gaze a bit as he tries to look over at Christian. “...Jared collapsed this afternoon—while you an' Chad copulated like jack rabbits—” He then feels compelled to look directly at Christian in hopes this strikes the Alpha hard in the gut. “—basically because his system went through a major malfunction and he hadn't even been knotted yet. It's no joke, Chris...knotting Chad now may have thrown his body off its course.”

Adrian knows firsthand from Milo's own issues. “How _bad_ are we talking, Jared?”

“One never knows with each Omega.” Jared continues to look down at the floor, unwilling to lift his head just yet. “Chad's had terrible heats before, _painful_ ones.” He rubs over his forehead, squeezing his fingers at the space between his eyebrows, like he feels a headache coming on. “If his heat was about to arrive, say...in two days or next week, his body might skip the heat altogether.” Jared swipes a hand over his face, unable to fathom what may happen if Chad doesn't go through a heat at all.

“But who knows what else might come.” Milo huffs, stretching his back out to sit straighter as he rubs over his belly.

“What do you mean?” Adrian is a little confused; he's willing to take over looking after Chad in the background if Christian doesn't step up to the plate and take any of what the Omegas are saying seriously.

“I mean, there's a huge reason I don't do anything spiritual guide-like with any pack member.” Milo gives a small smile to Adrian, then looks around the room at the other faces staring back at him. “I don't know if you all are _true_ believers in the practice...not even the spiritual parts. I'd rather not be further ostracized in my own pack for being more of a freak.” Milo soothes over Jared's arm. “...sorry, brother.” He hates equating who Jared is with such a cruel word.

“It's okay...an' true.” Jared covers his own hand over Milo's, giving the shape a tight squeeze. He starts biting at a thumbnail in a nervous tick. “My plans to help Chad through his heat have to be taken seriously.” Jared looks over at Adrian, thankful that one other Alpha in this pack is taking what he does to heart. “There's a reason why Omega Circle exists for guides. I don't half-ass my work just because I personally know a pack member.”

“...and thanks to you, Chris...” Milo shakes his head sadly at Christian, gesturing with his hand at what a great Alpha he's been. Well, not just an Alpha but a pack member inside his own pack. “...you've crapped all over Jared's progress.”

Adrian can't bear to look at his brother Alpha across the way, only toward Jared's profile. “Will you have to begin again?”

“Maybe. I don't know.” Jared shrugs loosely, then glances at Christian. “How many times did you knot him?”

Christian fidgets, rolling his shoulders uncomfortably. “That's a little personal.” He bows his head and lowers his voice.

“I think it's too late to hold back, Chris.” Jensen speaks out, and loud, tired of his brother Alpha's sudden attitude toward Jared. “He _needs_ to know.”

Jared puts his hand on Jensen's leg to calm him down; this is what he meant about “threatening” other pack members in his name. “The deed is done.” He looks to Christian, letting the Alpha know he can't change what's happened, but he can change the future. “I can't take the quantity back from you.” Jared swallows hard as he rubs over his thigh. “Was it more than three?” Silence. “More than five?” More silence, but Christian averts his head as he squirms where he's sitting. “Okay, then...I don't need to know more.” Jared waves his hand in the air as if he's done asking his questions.

“I truly don't know why everyone is acting like I've tainted him. We _finally_ knotted.” Christian shrugs his shoulders, wishing someone would explain to him what is going to be happening to Chad. He can't tell if it's mostly that it's a health issue or a spiritual one. “Chad and I are back to rights. It's good.”

“Is it?” Milo seems to be the only one brave enough to ask.

“huh?” Christina sharply twists his head toward the Omega.

Milo is sitting too proudly with his own Alpha, smug in his ability to get along with his mate—it's nothing like what he sees with Christian and his own mates. “Somehow I doubt you _really_ know how he feels if you couldn't even get him to tell you about our conversation.”

“I'll be sleeping in his bed tonight.” Christian claims with some smugness, and a lift to his chin with a bit of pride. “I'll be sure to give _you_ a detailed report in the morning.”

“ _...oh my god..._ ” Milo stares stunned for a moment, then he covers his hands over his face, bowing to his chest in silent agony. Christian will _never_ understand. He can't tell if it's true stupidity or outright stubbornness. They have to find some way to intervene with Chad, not to get him away from Christian, but into a long talk to let him know what may happen to him over these next few months.

Jared doesn't feel like he's relevant anymore to be in the room. He stands to leave. “ _Excuse me._ ” He's trying to get by Jensen's legs.

“Don't, Jay...” Jensen grabs for his arm. “...don't leave.”

“I can't, Jen.” Jared sags his body, unable to feel the kind of energy needed right now to fight with an unwilling Alpha. “I can't keep... _giving myself away_ , if he doesn't understand.” He knows it's only Christian not wanting to bend to the power of an Omega—despite how innocent his intentions are under the guise of guiding. But there's an underlaying issue born out of a checkered past that speaks so loud of his hatred of either Omegas or just the thought of being overpowered by a pack member

“Doesn't understand— _what_?” Christian goes to stand as well, so he can exit the room before Jared can. He isn't going to let an Omega win

Milo allows Adrian to restrain him by just a hand on his leg. “ _Make_ him understand.” He clenches his jaw to keep yelling louder.

“Tha's not in me to do.” Jared looks back at Milo, shaking his head. “He obviously thinks nothing is wrong.” He twists his head back to gaze down into Jensen's wide green eyes, watching him closely. “I _never_ force anyone...even if I see the wrong right in my face.” Jared slams the palm of one hand close to his face, showing how near the wrong can get to him when he finally gives in, for the time being.

Adrian's the one looking pinched and concerned. “Jared, _please_...wha—?” He sits forward, leaning on his thighs. “Forget that Chris is even here. Tell _us_ what needs to be done to help Chad.”

“He should wait for his heat to arrive.” Jared crosses his arms over his chest, like he feels a draft and wants to get warmer. He feels Jensen start rubbing up and down his arms to create heat.

“Okay.” Adrian nods his head, understanding that they'll have to start with a clean slate as soon as possible. “That seems...”

Jared swallows hard, unable to turn around and actually look at Christian. This is hard to say, but more difficult to accept, especially for the Alpha who needs to adhere to the instruction. “...but he _can't_ be knotted anymore until he's in the throes.”

“ ** _...oh...Hell no!!_** ” Christian has heard enough. “And this is where ** _I_** draw _my_ line.” He paces toward Jensen, barely giving Jared a side-glance. “I will not have an _Omega_ dictating to me—an _Alpha_...when I can knot my own mate.” Christian has used an index finger to point toward Jared, then himself, but closer to the floor. “I could care less 'bout all this gibberish guide bullshit...an' you can pretty much stop this idiotic therapy right this second.” He has nothing but cool anger to show Jared, if he even bothers to turn an eye to him. “Your precious newly mated Omega may have gotten everybody to drink the Koolaid, but not me.” Christian is stunned when Jared does finally turn around to face him. This time he butts into Jared's chest wall, finger pointing directly at him. “You go anywhere near Chad...or Steve...”

“ _Careful, Alpha._ ” Jensen is sliding his body in between the two male forms. He twists to look directly at Christian, unable to look in those crazed eyes that almost beg for support. “...you're getting way out of line.” Jensen uses the flat of his palm to push against Christian to get him to stand further back.

Christian gives a sneer to both Jensen and Adrian, not even bothering to look at Jared or Milo. “You two...are _pathetic_.” He doesn't even say “goodnight”, just storms out of the office with the slam of the heavy door.

“ _...jesus christ..._ ” Adrian had gone to stand once Christian had stepped to Jared, willing to come to the Omega's defense. His brother Alpha was reaching a boiling point, almost crazy-insane. He shut his eyes at the hard closing of the door, since it shook the walls and made a few glass items quiver in the Alpha's wake.

“ _ohmy..._ ” Milo turns to look at Adrian and Jensen. “And _this_ is what Jared deals with every day at work.”

Jensen knows his one arm embrace around Jared is futile, but he tightens his hold. “I'm so sorry, Jay.” He stands up a little higher, giving a tiny grin when Jared bends so he can kiss the side of his head.

“What can you do?” Jared shrugs his shoulders, thankful for Jensen's hold of him. He feels like he's about to faint, in all honesty. “Packs get this way the more they try to mix modern with traditional ways.” He gives off a smile to show he's all right to Milo and Adrian, blowing off Christian's reaction as he had left the room. “He's tame compared to so many others.”

“Well...” Milo sighed big, holding out his hand for Adrian to help him out of the crevice he'd made for himself in the cushions. “...I'd suggest you keep out of his way for a few days, maybe a week or more.”

“Milo...” Adrian shoves his Omega lightly on the side, like a soft spank.

“It'll be fine.” Jared shakes his head, waving away their worry. “I barely saw him anyway. This won't be difficult to manage.”

Adrian reaches out to grab onto Milo's hips, from behind, then lifts an eyebrow in curiosity as Jared looks at him over Milo's shoulder. “What about Chad?”

“Tha's the hardest part.” Jared pouts, his face shifting into a worried look because he knows he's going to have to get Chad alone, sometime, without Christian aware, in order to talk to him. “But I'll take him aside, with Milo, an' I'll explain things to him. Give him an opportunity to have his own opinion.” As he talks, he's figuring out what he wants to do. “Tell him what his _Alpha_ says and then...hope that he'll understand I'm not here to hurt him or harm his relationship with Chris.”

Milo rests back against Adrian's chest, crossing his arms on the upper curves of his belly. “I wish Steve and Chad had been here, seen that side of a self-satisfied Alpha you always hate to witness.”

Adrian nudges his face into the side of Milo's dark head. “Not all of us are like Chris, Mi'o.”

“And Thank God for that.” Milo twists around to side-hug and kiss Adrian, then he moves forward to embrace Jared tight. “I'm with you 100%, brother.”

“ _...thanks..._ ” Jared squeezes Milo back just as hard as he rubs both hands up and down the slope of the curved back. He pulls back to smile down at Milo, letting him know he's doing all right.

Milo quietly nods his head in acceptance as he looks to Jensen standing just behind Jared. At least he's relieved Jared has somebody strong to lean on. “We can hang out more since Chris already thinks I'm toxic.” He pushes gently against Jared's chest.

“Mi'o,” Adrian is adamant that Milo has always mistaken Christian's treatment of him as pure hatred. “...he doesn't _hate_ you.” He wants to tell Milo about those days he nearly saw Christian in tears over his stay in the hospital when they almost lost the 'pup'.

“But he's never liked me, Dri...” Milo shrugs one shoulder, saddened that he's never been able to see that side of Christian that everyone else has been able to. “...maybe 'cuz he knows I can whoop his ass, even with a 'pup' inside me.” He soothes the side of his belly, feeling the 'pup' shift around.

Jared is the first one to move away from the sofa, then Jensen and finally Milo and Adrian follow. The two couples are facing each other, preparing to bid each other a good night.

“...'night, Jen...” Adrian blinks slow, giving a soft nod toward his lead Alpha with pride, then he takes Jared's hand, shaking the shape in a gentleman's fashion. “Welcome to _the family_ — _the pack_...” He leans in and lifts up one side of his mouth. “...sorry _this part_ had to suck.”

Jared chuckles softly, placing both his hands around Adrian's grip as he leans in to meet eye-to-eye with the Alpha. “Not your fault, Adrian.”

“I feel like it is.” Adrian has to back away, letting go of such a strong hand in his own. “Chris is bein' ' _Chris_ '. It's not you.” He doesn't know why it's important for him to make random excuses for someone who takes him for granted. He knows Christian would never come to his rescue like this. “I've gone through this same shit with Chris years ago. He's an Alpha who likes to control the room, soak in all the focused attention.” Adrian tucks his hands inside his front pockets. “Usually, we'd bite our tongues and give into him...” He feels Milo wrap his arm around his left elbow, then hold on tight. “...not _this_ time.” Adrian pats the top of Milo's hand around his arm. “I know how powerful these abilities you have are. An' I know firsthand,” He gives a long side-glance to his own Omega, watching as Milo dips his head in some kind of shyness all of a sudden. “...how fragile and strong an Omega's body can be.” Adrian clears his throat, swiping his hand down the lower part of his face. “It may seem like my silence sometimes is support to my fellow brother, but not when it comes at the consequences of a fellow pack member's well being.” He shifts around to take Milo's hand in his as he'll send Milo out the doorway in front of him, so he can make sure his Omega doesn't fall or trip. “Le's hope Chad sees some sense in all this and finally does what's best for him, not just his Alpha.”

“Thanks.” Jared smiles wider, nodding his head. “That means more to me than you'll ever know.”

“...'night, boys.” Milo gives a silly wave over Adrian's shoulder as he's being slowly pushed out the door. “Don't stay up too late.”

Jared chuckles as he lifts his head to claim, “We won't.”

“ _...promise..._ ” Jensen mumbles with a bit of a blush covering his face. “...g'night, Mi'o...”

Jensen follows the couple to the door, shutting the paneling as he locks the mechanism. He sighs deeply as he turns around to swiftly pace toward his desk, dragging out the older liquor he saved for special occasions. He heads over to the wet bar to snag two short glasses, then moves to the end of the couch where Jared is now seated. With both glasses on the coffee table, Jensen unscrews the cap to pour out a generous amount for himself and barely a sip for Jared. He puts the bottle down, then snatches up the glasses in each hand. For one, he tries to place it near Jared's hand on the arm of the couch.

“C'mon...” Jensen swats away Jared's attempt to push the glass from him. “...you _need_ this.”

“I don't like hard liquor.” Jared shakes his head as he bites at his thumbnail again.

“Jay...” Jensen tilts his head, almost pouting as his Omega won't obey him this one little request.

“...it clouds my mind.”

“...for _me_ , please.” Jensen is able to balance the glass precariously on the armrest, knowing Jared will watch it like a hawk so it doesn't fall to the floor and break into tiny pieces. He squats low, hands clamping on the spread knees. “...c'mon, drink with me in a small celebration.”

“Of _what_?” Jared snortles out a hard chuckle.

Jensen smiles wickedly, hoping that sometime in the future they can laugh about this, or something like laughing. “That whole thing could've gone worse.”

Jared isn't going to comply that easily with that lame of an excuse. “Tha's nothing to celebrate.”

“I know.” Jensen soothes down one knee as he sips at his drink. “I'm sorry this wasn't a better introduction for you—for us—to the pack as a mated couple.”

Jared darts his eyes from green to amber liquid in a teetering glass. He sighs and swipes the drink to down the entire thing with a strong backward tilt of his head. He keeps his head on the cushions as he holds the glass to his chest. He feels Jensen crawl along his body, taking the glass back, then nibbling up the neck to jawline to then snag a wet, loud smack of their lips.”

“ _...mmm..._ ” Jensen leans on Jared's face. “...you taste divine...” He braces one hand on the cushion behind Jared's head, merging their brows. “I'm so sorry for what's been said here...but I'm so damn proud of you. You've done what I couldn't do for years.”

“. _..what_?”

“—standing up to Chris.” Jensen hates admitting out loud that he's let Christian lead him around like a lost puppy. “I think I've been leaning on him too much, too often. He thinks we're co-lead Alpha's of this pack.”

“Maybe that was true before, but _not_ now.” Jared reaches out, briefly to cup the sides of Jensen's face, caressing the flushed skin. “There's no shame or guilt for taking a stand for yourself. This is _Ackles_ Pack...not _Kane_ Pack.”

Jensen buries his face away in the warmth of Jared's neck, inhaling and curling tight to the huge wall of chest. “...an' dammit...I've known this. I jus' never had the guts or the ' _umph_ ' to put my foot down, declaring full control...” He wants so badly to crawl back into bed and huddle into his Omega's warmth

“I think you'll find quite a few pack members have been waiting for you to shine. Maybe one who you'll butt heads with. “ Jared feels Jensen pull away to look up at him from between his knees. He reaches out to hold both sides of the dark blond head, peering into the beautiful face, sliding down to shape the warm neck. “...'m sorry you've got shit taste in best friends...”

Jensen snorts out a loud snicker, dipping closer to take another, long drawn-out kiss. “ _I_ ** _love_** _you._ ” He nudges their faces together. “Don't ever change.”

“ _awww_ , Alpha...I won't.” Jared pets Jensen's flushed cheek. “...you look tired...”

“I feel like I could sleep for days.” He sighs heavy, and turns his head into each of the palms surrounding his face to press a soft kiss inside. “I'd like to do that...but in your arms.”

“ _...mmm-hmm...”_ Jared starts shuffling, then shoos his hand in mid-air. “...stand up, move back...”

Jensen does, putting down both of their glasses to watch Jared adjust his body by drawing his left leg up, stretching the limb out to fit into the corner of the cushions. He settles a plush pillow down over his right thigh, patting the surface. “oh-kay...c'mere, _love_...come' rest your weary soul an' let me tend to you...”

Jensen never has to be told twice as he swivels to sit down, then lays exactly how Jared wants him to where as soon as he's relaxed, he's surrounded by warmth and the scent of Jared—he's surpassed the status of Omega and he's earned the right to be called exactly who he is. Jensen would rather call Jared by his given name because his Omega is one of a kind...no other Alpha has a mate quite like he does...

...and that suits Jensen Ackles of Ackles Pack just fine.  


... **the end**


End file.
